TEX TALKS 1980s Battletech ART [TEX/MIKE/GEORGE LEDOUX]
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- Опубліковано 28 вер 2024
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Every one with a functional brain hates what Matt Ward was allowed to do to 40k...
BattleTex!
@@SonsOfLorgar i doubt ita your fault for the audio. Discord is a garbage voip. Ita good for memes though
So when are we getting a Clan Snek Cobra set?
You should do a video on your favorite successor state/house
“They made Anastasius Focht look like a shady banker from the Caribbean/Seychelles.”
Implying he’s not. This is ComStar, Tex.
The thing '80s Battletech art has over the current stuff? The 'mechs looked like they were produced in different places, at different times. And usually had some weathering to show the age.
The current 'mechs (especially in MWO) all look brand new. And everything looks like it was built in the same factory.
Also, no circles or rectangles allowed.
One of the unfortunate constraints of having some underpaid, overcrunched polygon monkey model every last nubbin on the Annihilator's left asscheek instead of paying some guy a couple hundred bucks for a hundred artworks.
to an extent I prefer the industrial look of many of the modern mechs. They look like they have weight to them and arent just bad anime knockoffs. I wholeheartedly agree though that there needs to be more variation. A dragon for example with the current model would be a great Steiner production mech while a more curved older style could be a Kurita built mech and so on. The old and new mechs both have some examples of cringe but even that is fine there just needs to be variety. Another example is say the King Crab, the new one looks like a proper assault mech and the old one looks like it will snap a leg at any time. You are on point however with the damage, some superficial damage or even scratched paint would go a long way.
@@Colonel_Overkill Yeah some are really good like BJ, centurion, jenner, Atlas but then we have stuff like Raven, catapult and whole slew of medium mechs that look like eachother and lack what makes them unique. Is it kintaro or maybe enforcer , dervish, treb ?
And every mech looks like every other mech of the same model. These are vehicles anywhere from 1 to 500 years old, shot to pieces hundreds of times, rebuilt by tens of thousands of different technicians, using materials from a hundred factories and centuries of development. There should be TONS of subtle differences between each Atlas or Awesome or so on. Like, maybe one has an intact plate on the chest and another has a severed plate that's been welded, that kind of stuff.
Oh man, the MWO version of the Awesome looks like a goddamn cardboard box. Thankfully the recent Catalyst Game Labs designs look really nice. They're a good compromise between older and newer aesthetics.
Battletech art, not even once.
It was wonderful to watch live!
As someone with artistic hobbies who likes drawing Battletech fan art I find it encouraging that the official artwork already sets the bar so low.
@@GhostBear3067 When you hit rockbottom you can only look upwards :P
@@GhostBear3067 It's got better since the 80s.
@@jamesperkins191 well no shit, it would be really hard for it to get worse 😆🤣😜
11:00 most accurate Matt Ward writing summary *ever*
Hail the Legion. Your impression of Matt Ward is spot on.
So spot on it hurts my soul.
I miss my Pariahs...
I love that superheavy mechs exist, and that they're bad. Sometimes ideas for crazy experimental weapons don't work out, and having some of those failures actively exist is immersive.
Reminds me of the Maus or the other various Wunderwaffe that Germany hoped would turn the tide at the end of WW2.
Superheavies were a cool idea when I was 14 years old. That was like 1989. Now I think they are stupid.
In addition to the ideas that didn't turn out, you have the stuff that never got past the prototype phase, but might have been awesome. The Rifleman 3 comes to mind.
Good Matt Ward impression. I didn't get it at first, though. I thought it was any given Battletech fan when describing Clan Wolf.
Eh yeah...Clan Wolf annoys me that way. Makes me want stuff to go wrong for them so they can actually JUSTIFY the prep and even then it should only barely get them through the bad patch. Clan Ghost Bear the whole way in terms of The Clans.
Otherwise I'd be all for FWL.
That McKenna picture was by Tim Bradstreet, aka the dude who did the iconic artwork for Vampire the Masquerade. Guy could freehand like the worst of Deviantart or trace photos.
the pic at 36:11 is from the first CITYTECH rulebook from the "Life in the Big City" short story.
"Down my Wolverine's arms, it read 'SpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpam'. Kilmer's Warhammer looked OK until you walked around it, and the whole rear torso, in big yellow letters, screamed 'LARD'.
We were both laughing, but Williams took one look, grabbed Farbers' wrench and chased her until we grabbed him. Up and down both his 'Mechs legs and on its right torso, like a badge it read 'Processed Chicken'."
New from Hasbro! CLUE: The Amaris Civil War! Who killed Richard Cameron? Was it Stefan Amaris in the Throneroom with the Lazer pistol?
The Steel Legionnaire It's almost as fun as the hidden identity board game: Secret Amaris! There's nothing in the box but one loaded handgun.
Thank you TEX and MIKE for all you do for us Big Stompy Robot nerds!!!
welcome, fucko
The picture at 1:10:49 I think is supposed to be Hanse Davion, since everyone refers to him as "The Fox" in the novels. This is like, peak 70s/80s/90s RPG art though. I love this shit.
That is the most glorious and accurate impression of the Hated Wardling that has ever been made. He is the sole reason I have grown to loathe so many of the 40k fluffwriters... Sure, AdMech are getting weird in that Weird Science way that makes them fun, but... eew.
You're also the reason I'm finally getting back into the wider BT universe at large after a twenty year ALL THE 40K LORE gap. Damn you for giving me another money sink to chase, you glorious bastard.
gotta spend money to have . . . something
God... this... this is a work of goddamn art. Thank you gentlemen. Truly, this is too beautiful for this world.
Probably the best 1 1/2 hours of time spent launghing my ass off. The worse thing about all of this, is that I had all of those books back in the 80s, and when they pop up each image, I can remember them back in those days, and I wondered 'what the hell' just as much then as I do now. Still wiping the tears from all the laughing.
I love your 80s and older reference, Tang and Muensters and the Shadow
A lot of the old Battletech art really looks like ShadowRun art that they just repurposed and put some notional battletech stuff into, like a mech silhouette or a house symbol
Ok, now I actually *want* a Battletech Tarot deck…
Flip your card, it’s a Steiner Scout Lance.
Oh. Death.
Thanks Black Pants Legion. I needed that hour long laughing excersise for my abs. Lol
Thank you kindly
It was amusing in that Merc company picture that all the women piloted death trap scout mechs. Even the message at the bottom had "not pictured, another woman piloting a Valkyrie" That is one way to protect the boys club. I can just imagine them selling a heavy every time a woman joins the company and buying a shoddy after market Locust as an initiation stunt.
My favorite Battletech Era has to be 3060ish. Inner Sphere gets some neat toys to fight the Clans (I think the Hollander is pretty cool), and the whole universe hasn't gone to shit because of weirdos in robes.
33:31 "Ian from forgotten weapons?"
More of a doc holiday.
@@theblackpantslegion I think he mean's gun-jesus! ;) although Mre-Jesus fits as well. ;)
One is awesome with guns and the other has a stomach built like an Atlas! ;)
35:00 When someone in chat said Lou Al Banno I lost it looking a the thin guy next to him and couldn't help thinking....Swing your arms from side to side...
I was wondering why it got pulled off... Thanks for putting it back up. I loved it live.
Having played a metric ton of Mw4 back in the day. This is gold.
Needed the laughs; thanks for all of the work.
Due to Tex's hate for the 5th Chaos God Ward. I wonder how he feels about the New(non Wardian) Kaldor Draigo Lore(As well as TTS Draigo.) The new characterization has actually fixed a lot of the problems the character originally had, Draigo is actually pretty likable now that other People are writing him. Hell he was in one of the few good moments of the terrible End Times event in Fantasy.
If the neural helmet feedback functions like a mind-altering substance and is psychologically addictive, that would explain the looks of the people in the art work
I'm just here to high five tex for mocking Matt Ward
With the notable exception of inventing Trazyn the Infinite and his Museum of Grimdark History, Matt Ward's shenanigans are crap incarnate.
@@CharlesUrban Yeah, like Trayzn is fucking amazing, Matt is particularly guilty of authortorial bias. Though he is a decent fellow all the same. (Fuck you GW for everything you are now)
Thanks for releasing this, I was almost done with the first upload and my phone rebooted due to a battery issue that's fixed now but I couldn't find the video
Oh, I get it now! The second weird Animorphs one where a Kurita guy is doing some weird mitosis thing with a dragon, the first one with the Davion badge is a fox! The Kuritas occasionally call Hanse Davion "The fox."
Why have i never heard this before! I am dying!!! Tex and Dunc need their own show
😆
Oh God. My ribs.
Next time work sucks I am so listening to this again for the LoLs
I LOVE THIS STREAM! YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW GOOD YOUR CONTENT IS.
That moment when you realize that Hanse and Melissa had a drive through wedding.
I'd love to see you the three of you do this again.
48:50 Are we gonna ignore how this guy's forearm is just broken in half?
Whenever I have a bad time I like to bring up this video- always great for the laughs
I needed this in the background at work.
Clan snek cobra. Hahahaha
Excellent video guys glad to hear you guys had as much fun as your fans did.
I'm sorry... I find your voice very cool... I just fell a sleep hearing you... But love your videos... Pls... Pls... Make a Thunderbolt video...
Tiago Guerra YES! Listen to this man, please make a Thunderbolt video! I mean, after your vacation of course...
I'm Karen .... Tex .. This old Video just made my day. Laughing my Butt off. I grew up with those pics. Ahhh ... The 80´s :D
Probably already stated, but the B and backwards B emblem is from the movie Buckaroo Banzai , great film if you haven't seen it.
I hope for the distant future where a Tex Talks for Far Country appears, just to see someone else even recognize the Space Birbos.
Male, Neutral Warrior was my favorite voice to use in Neverwinter Nights, believe it or not.
Two random thoughts on watching this four years later: first, hearing Mike talk normally as Mike after the Magistratum Mundanus series keeps tripping me up. I'm like, "oh hey Ricky's in thi--why is he acting so smart?"
Second: Male Neutral Warrior is legitimately one of my favorite memories from playing the game as a kid. The line "NOT EVEN A DENT! THIS WEAPON IS USELESS!" is burned into my brain to this day.
1:12:17. In the future, Betty White has lived longer than the dreams of Hitler's 1000-year Reich.
So funny thing about Matt Ward? He does have the capacity to write interesting characters that aren't super-powered wank fantasies. Case-in-point, 5th edition Necrons and Craftworld Iyanden. 5th ed Crons have us Trazyn the Infinite, a batshit crazy museum collector who just tours the galaxy looking for stuff to pilfer for his museum of historical stuff, but also has a certain charm.
The problem comes in when he's asked to write for SPEHSS MUHREENS, and that's when you have the Grey Knights murdering Sisters to make them super-duper-ultra immune to chaos corruption (even though they already were, and... why did they just murder their own allies again?) Or Chapter Master Gary Stu Sicarius
"No Capellans!" is now my notification sound.
kek
Regarding the in universe Capellan/Soviet cartoon.
In the USSR producing stuff by weight caused real problems some of them hilarious.
Khrushchev complained at a congress about chandeliers falling down on party members an killing them. Because chandelier production was measured in weight and not units they got so heavy that the ceilings could not support them so they fell down on people !
A common problem for the ordinary man though was that roofing nails where almost impossible to find.
This was gold. Thank you!
Oh sweet baby Jesus ....i laughed so hard for so long...crying ....keep it up guys!!!
I made the mistake of eating wile watching this
I like to think of this in-character as a bunch of Inner Sphere Mechwarriors just seeing pictures of elementals for the first time and just laughing their asses off
I'd love to be in a Clanner planet that was mandatory open carry. Clan SNEK COBRA 🎩
🐍
40:42 He's inside and last night was burrito night.
45:32 Is that a fleshlight in the shape of a dropship?
51:50 Oh, hey... My ex's sister...
58:38 David Bowie as the goblin king if he lived to be 80.
1:17:31 NPC meme with hair
When Tex said the setting ends in 3067 I felt that, man. This is why he is the best.
"She looks like she works at the Club to pay for college."
Isn't that most female characters though?
I'm pretty sure the Run of old ladies may have been because the Golden Girls was on TV
33:35 “Alfalfa grows up.”
So it’s safe to assume he turned the long strand of hair up top into that ponytail in the back?
37:43 thats Sonny bono man
1:21:22 WHY did she frame a Rorschach test?
1:33:00 Kyle Reece: Blue Steel
1:45:00 HOLY SHIT! Team Bonzai! May the Hong Kong Cavaliers ride forever!
"I love Fu**ing hotdogs, man." A little too kinky for me. :P
he actually loves hot dogs. seriously.
@@theblackpantslegion Has he ever made balloon animals with hotdogs before? Hot dog art of an AT-AT?
How would Tex fight the First Succession war, if he was John Davion?
1:41:30 Best line of this podcast yet.
1:27:00
That's like the worst David Bowie fanart ever.
Richard Benedict...It was Richard Benedict you mutts ;) He also played "Faceman" on the A-Team LoL love you guys!!
Dirk Benedict, if I remember right. Richard Hatch was Apollo. And I am a sad, sad person for remembering that off the top of my head.
@@MLCrisis1790 yes. thank you . my aged mind blended them together LoL :)
1:18:04
"The hiilllsss are alive with the sound of muuuuusic!!!! Oh fuck!!"
Max Liao @1:26:50 is looking like “I have a gig as the singer in a David Bowie tribute band… perhaps you’ve heard of it? We are called Ziggy Starman.”
Okay I lost it at Steve1989 since I watch his videos. "Let's get this out onto at tray! Nice!"
Maan good to see that I'm not alone in here. Although as someone else pointed out here, it also fit's Gun-Jesus as well.... ;)
F for the Urbie.
My favorite was the picture with the Altered Beast transformation🤣
32:15 is fine as a picture as its Focht anyone else would be dingbat
Bad image at 29:00 is definitely someone's impression of John Wayne. Go watch El Dorado, you'll see it.
Finally a commentator that knows about battletech and Warhammer 40k.
42:5x was the Elemental Phenotype (male) and the Aerospace phenotype (female) is why they are so disproportionate (not that the he-man Barbie reference wasn't hilarious 🙂 )
Elementals should be even bigger than that - they are meant to weigh 300-350 kgs even without the armour.
Tex,
Any thoughts on Alfabusas TTS series on 40k? Oh, and this hangout of making fun of bad 80s art is freaking classic. Do more of these if you can.
It's okay. Haven't watched in a while. I'm more of a turn signals on a land raider type. I did send a voice sample and apply to join TTS but they never said anything.
Shame they haven't gotten back to you on being a voice. I could totally see you as one of the Primarchs... Maybe The Lion or even Guilliman. Geat work on the Amaris civil war/fall of star league. I try to get Lore Reloaded to do this when he was dabbling in Mechwarrior, but he did some basic stuff instead. After all Mechawarrior lore is like jumping into the deep end of the Ocean. you either learn to swim and thrive or you drown in the crazy amount of fluff.
OMFG looks like a T-Rex on weight watchers
The birth of clan snek Cobra!
24:35 -- Look like a dude disguised himself in a Lunar New Year's Chinese Lion costume, then used it to get close to his targets.
"Happy Year of the Gat, bitches!"
We need more Duncan Fischer.
Tex is a.loyal Guardsman! I forgive your toaster lovin' tendencies, you can help maintain the motor pool for treadheads like me!
Liked for the Matt Ward impression :thumbsup:
So I found the answers of the crying Merik is Kenyon Merik, and it was a wargame at his academy. So he was watching military history about Napoleon and thought imma raise my house banner at my inevitable victory in my wargame. Well he lost and the guy that beat him made a banner with a bird that eats eagles on it to dabb on House Merik.
40:45 JOJO! THIS IS MY BACHAL! TAKE IT FROM MEEEEEEE!
Hair is lostech...I love that comment.
I can just imagine a clan Snek Cobra Elemental walking around Space Walmart wearing daisy dukes and tank top, shopping trolley on her shoulder with an AC10 about to fall out, keg of beer in her hand, "Imma gunna rigged this here to mah battle armour"
Star Captain: "The auto cannon, or the auto keg"
Elemental: *burp* "Aff"
So, Clan Snek Cobra is confirmed to be Batteltech's version of the Orks?
All these portraits make Battletech look like everything outside the giant robots is just Hotline Miami in space. Sheesh!
A lot of Mills & Boon-type cover art!
… outside of the Great House … well, you’re not wrong.
@@liamhogan4369 and you're saying that like it's a BAD thing?
@@boxtank5288 Nope it’s dope.
@@liamhogan4369 damn straight
"You too can become a judgemental dragon!" If that ain't Kurita in a nutshell....
Also, I'm absolutely painting up a Clan Snek Cobra force now.
If your Clan Snek Cobra force doesn't have a RAC-Rifleman, you're doing it wrong.
Seriously, it's got ALL the Dakka.
@@1975Paladin1 If they can steal one, go for a Bane/Kraken. 10 * UAC-2 + 4* machine guns
Whaa.Everyone hats Kurita. I fee-wait I'm team Ghost Bear.Frak them.
Say what you want about the Draconis Combine, but they’re the only Successor State that has never had a civil war.
@@jamesperkins191 That's because their heavily-armed asshats are their chief export.
1 hour and 52 minutes of shitpost this is a treasure.
One man's crap is another man's confection.
@@claytonhess5512 this is gold. Thank you.
Having been into BattleTech since back when it was Battledroids, it horrifies me how many of these images I immediately knew all the details for. Which book, what caption, what's "supposed" to be going on. Christ, I really am an old grognard. If you really want to scare yourself, think of how many of these are based off photo references. And this is what happened.
I will say, in defense of the b/w art, not only was the art done on a shoestring budget with a deadline of like a day, but the printing tech of the time was rotogravure. So no shading, no subtlety of lines, and details often don't reproduce properly. It's like if you ever did linoleum intaglio in school when you were a kid. That said, I'm not defending the coke fueled 1980's goofy ass art choices, just the limitations of b/w printing technology, and there is no excuse for the teeth. Oh God the teeeeeth!
I'm so glad it's not just me
Coke is responsible for so much of the 80s. Thank god
Can you tell us what the hell is happening in some of these pictures, especially 01:03:34?
@@Manglet762 That would be from page 160 of the old House Davion Sourcebook, explaining the disaster of the New Avalon Theatre Group's first performance of Hamlet on the planet Benedict. They used a holographic ghost of Hamlet's father and caused a panicked riot. They found out later the people of Benedict had never heard of a hologram before.
Yes, I know stupid shit. :)
@@jingizu149 You can’t be serious.
Clan Snek Co-bra got lost during the exodus "Shoulda taken a left at space Albuquerque." and somehow went beyond the Taurian space instead of up where the other clans went.
And instead of munching carrots, they're lighting cigars.
I lost it at the I'm Katrina Steiner!
Also, Snek Cobra's battlecry should be, "Muh Freedoms!"
Katrina Steiner : (manic screaming/laughter?)
Olivia: (exasperated) You have angered the spirits with your ... noise.
On a rewatch of this, I now realize how much I wanted a Battletech universe where Anastasius Focht talks like a mobtastic goombah and Katrina Steiner is unbelievably, horrifyingly shrill and grating.
Who would play her? Most of the good looking women I can think of are long past the point of being able to and I mean like gonna break a hip or dead
Kerensky Exodus Or Inner Sphere?
RE : "Kerensky and then I'd regret it."
All things considered, that's pretty much what I expected you to say.
Though I gotta ask if that doesn't make the Clans a bit more of fandom gut punch for you seeing as it's basically Kerensky's legacy devolving into something the man probably would have hated.
Alexandr rolls in his space coffin when Nicholas came out as a furry.
@@rylian21 Now now. Nicholas being a furry was not the problem. It was the fact that his fursona was Wolf Hitler.
I like to think the Clanners experienced that gut punch themselves when the Eridani Light Horse showed the Smoke Jaguars what being descended from the SLDF was really about.
@@patrickcoyle5469 what? I know I've made jokes about Princess Celestia being the result of a Clan Hell Horses genetic experiment, but if an actual horse was involved with the end of Clan Smoke Jaguar then I'll eat my pants.
The Eridani Light Horse are a IS merc unit, descended from a SLDF RCT which didn't join the Exodus. They were heavily involved in Task Force Serpent, including their commander, General Winston taking over as overall CIC after Morgan Hasek-Davion died en route.
There should be a Degree for battletech history
here here
Problem: how do you expect to support yourself with that? Tex and Crit Rocket more or less hold all the good BT stuff we like.....
@@claytonhess5512 pfft. As if one can support itself with ANY history degree ))
YES! 80's Art! Headbands, muscles, midriff shirts, and AR's EVERYWHERE!!!
And Aviators! You may not like it, but this is BATTLETECH. Keep your waifus at home and keep a mirror and razor handy in your Grasshopper's cockpit! Fuck yeah!
Yet we need him to watch Genesis Climber Mospeada. LAM style mechs for days. Plus animation wise is really close to western 80's animation but better.
Onward to the dangaaahhhh zone!
AR and Battles go together. Can't fight science on that.
I was born in the early 2000s so it all looks incredibly uncanny and weird to me I got no nostalgia for it
I love that Tex and George both occasionally slip into Grandpa Voice when they're mocking things 😆
I haven't laughed this hard at stand-up comedy shows, this is the best thing I've seen in years. Thank you Tex, Mike, and George, you guys are awesome.
33:05 - (walks into the bar and notices the man with 6 fingers on his right hand...) Hello. my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
I run a Battletech rpg campaign, and my party ran into both Tex and Duncan Fisher in the last session, so it's a pretty amazing coincidence to see y'all streaming together. Warms my sad grognard soul.
oh? What happened in that session. I'm sure I 'm awful as an NPC
@@theblackpantslegion one of the Mechwarriors is a Solaris jock, so they met up with Duncan as part of her developing a gimmick for the arena. Later, they were in a merc dive bar trying to scrounge up rumors, and when I was trying to think of an appropriately seedy character who knew the lore inside and out, the nondescript npc became Tex. He's now a contact for the group when they need Intel on the down-low.
Admittedly, my Tex voice sounds a lot more like Doctor Teeth from the Muppets, but the players enjoyed it.
@@BazztheBazz just ask Tex to join in as the NPC through discord chat. It would be fun.
@@barrybend7189 I imagine someone as knowledgeable in the BT lore would have an aneurysm at how badly I've butchered a lot of it for the sake of appeasing my players. If the real lore is A Song of Ice and Fire, my campaign is the last two seasons of GoT, where I'm just making shit up and throwing characters around regardless of whether they're in the right era. It's a fun campaign, but 'real' fans would lynch me on sight.
@@BazztheBazz just call it periphery none sense.