Those receipts were handy during the Great Toilet Paper Shortage of Covid! (I was buying 48 individual cat food can flavors at PetSmart to get a 2 cent/can discount and got similarly-long receipts. The cashiers liked the TP quip.)
Our county seat has one major industry, the state prison. When they ran a campaign to come up with a new slogan for the town, I submitted "WELCOME TO DEER LODGE; IT'S NOT JUST FOR CONVICTS ANYMORE". I didn't win. 😥
Matching the fonts - I instantly noticed and the attention to detail is greatly appreciated! You know you're a real nerd when you wonder how long it took for him to find the exact same font styles to match the logos.
@JO-ly3hi you are correct, but I admit that I have accepted defeat on this one. As near as I can tell, the people who designed the original computer graphics programs had little or no background in print graphics, and made up or mispurposed various terms. I’m just grateful that points survived as a unit. I usually figure the test of someone’s age or historical knowledge is if they know why “burying the lede” is spelled the way it is.
I remember those Geocities web pages that looked like a conspiracy nut's van, with every font imaginable crammed together. When browsers had a dozen branded 3rd party toolbars that were just as garish.
@@cjhoward409 Oh wow. For women's clothing, I don't know too much. For guys, I have been able to get "house" clothes, like t shirts and basketball shorts, for super cheap. Around $10 and under each item and men's clothes is usually expensive.
Ross is TJ Maxx and Marshalls, but the employees simply don't care anymore to keep the store neat, but there are security guards at the entrance...figure that one out.
At least they have security guards, my work (like corporate says we can't stop them) will let people walk out with more money worth of merchandise than I make in my 2 week paycheck. "Sorry, we can't afford to give you a raise." I wonder why. 😕
2:10 better question, how could you NOT find a Starbucks? I'm pretty sure they opened one up in my kitchen, despite the fact that I never go to Starbucks.
I've always refused to go to Starbucks because they refuse to serve me a small coffee or a medium coffee insisting I use their pretentious, silly descriptors. There were three Starbucks in my town. The employees unionized. Starbucks closed and left town.
No, it's the UPS Store that needs to change it's name to Amazon Returns! 😅 That's the only reason I go, and I've been in there with a line and the people in front of me are all also doing Amazon returns.
Worked at CVS for 6 years. Stands for “Consumer Value Stores”. When it originally started they focused on health and beauty products. They slowly shifted to pharmacy over time.
The TJ on Boylston Street near Mass Avenue in Boston may be the apotheosis of Trader Joe's accessibility issues. When visiting there, I have never noticed anything remotely resembling on-site parking. There's curbside parking (good luck finding a space!), with about one car length available directly in front of the store. Maybe the locals know which indoor parking facility in the area to use, or maybe everybody who shops there just walks as I did. And that brings us to the next issue. Even if you DO know which parking structure to stow your car in while you shop, getting there may mean having to constantly yield to the perpetual flow of pedestrians in crosswalks. At corners where there are no walk/don't-walk lights, peds have right of way in the crosswalks, any time, willy nilly. Just when one group is finishing crossing one way in front of you, another group is stepping off the curb coming from other direction ... and now here comes another one from that other direction, and two more right behind, and then another group from the first direction again; and when you finally squeak over that crosswalk into the intersection, you have the same thing going on in the crosswalk on the other side. And on and on and on. Finally, the store is actually in the basement, down a flight of stairs from the sidewalk. At least that's how it's been every time I've been there -- I admit I haven't been back in much too long.
Its mainly because I haven't seen a single mcdonald's have a mobile order taker outside in the line if it gets packed ythat how the line moves faster they are already have your oder either being made or qued-up by the time you get to the actual order mic.
Having the kid outside with the tablet taking orders is nerdy brilliant. It also reminds me of the carhops of the 50s. With McD's, I order ahead with their web app and they still manage not to have my order ready after a 20 minute drive. I have to wait in the parking lot pickup area! That In-n-Out kitchen is on fire, in a good way!
As a former Angelino, we had all sorts of names for In And Out, many of them not recitable on a wholesome site like UA-cam. Also, the original Trader Joes only has about six parking spots.
During COVID, I printed out a voucher at the casino for a gift giveaway. The staff members weren't physically handling (or looking) at the vouchers, they were just directing us to toss them into a box. Later, I made the comment to a friend that, because they weren't checking the vouchers, that box could be full of CVS receipts for all they know.
Good ole Comedy and Magic on the Strand😊 I miss heading down to Hermosa from the Central Valley for an afternoon / evening since moving to the Midwest…
In-N-Out is really fast. The lines are long but they go “In and Out” really quick. I’ve never waited more than 10 minutes, if that. My husband has been hit in Trader Joe’s parking lots at least 3 times by people over 80.
I know nothing about LA but $200,000 homes for $2,000,000 sounds like the Real Estate market in a nutshell. I just hope we do not have to bail out the private equity companies that have sucked up all the land when the bubble does pop.
I have bought a few shirts from Ross in the past and they are paper thin. Now I only go there to get bags full of my colognes because they’re cheaper there than Amazon and I actually think they smell fresher.
Those receipts came in handy during the pandemic's toilet paper shortage! (I got a lot of laughs with that line when I bought 48 cans of cat food at PetSmart.)
I don't know if it's like this for other states but for Missouri a "realtor" is only if that person is a member of REALTORS otherwise they are a real estate agent or real estate sales person. They are two different licensing bureaus. MREC & NAR. Missouri Real Estate Commission National Association of Realtors Every real estate 'agent' is a real estate 'sales person' with MREC (unless they are a broker) but not every real estate 'sales person' is a 'REALTOR' with NAR.
Interestingly enough, Trader Joe’s targets areas with smaller parking lots because it’s cheaper to maintain. It also encourages people to use public transportation and such. We are so used to the gigantic parking lots here in the United States. It’s a trend that needs to change and I fully applaud Trader Joe’s for embracing it.
In and Out Burger lines were brilliant and so TRUE...thanks Brother! =) Living in Hollywood, one night after clubbing on Sunset i went to join the queue at the near In and Out and there were ppl actually partying out of their cars bc the wait was so bad...i charged out of there and went to Wendy's nearby, no queue, yummy, made it home before sun up lol
So our former Federal Chancellor Helmut Kohl was in fact an Amazon return that somehow ended up in German politics .... I always suspected it to be it someway like that. It explains quite a bit 😂 For instance the blackout he brazenly claimed to have had concerning a briefcase full of money ... greetings from Germany
For me Rite Aid is similar to Kohls, except to pick up an Amazon package from a locker. I average 3-4 trips per month to my local Rite Aid - never bought a thing there.
I feel like the Southwest Airlines joke was a bit too niche. While Spirit's problems have infiltrated the zeitgeist, I don't know that SW Airlines's 'hunting permit' seating is that well known. I found it extremely funny, but at one point they were the only airline doing direct flights between where I was and an airport near my parents' place so I've experienced it.
I remember a news story in the last few months about how they're changing from open seating to assigned seating. The only time I was on a flight with open seating, back in the 80s, the plane was almost empty so it wasn't a big deal. I can imagine it being a mad house when the plane is full.
I feel like the Southwest open seating is pretty well-known by Americans. It sucks on a full flight. However, more than once, I’ve gotten up and moved myself to a new seat a minute or two after a family sits down behind me with a screaming kid. I’ve always felt it was worth the gamble for that very reason.
In Denver, the mass transit system is called RTD which is officially “ Regional Transportation District.” But we locals call it “Reason To Drive.”
Hahaha that's hilarious! In Paris the subway system is called RATP but locals call it Rentre Avec Tes Pieds (go home by foot)😂
The interwebs would censor me if I told you some of the things that MARTA (Atlanta's transit operator) has had as "translations".
Boston’s is called the MBTA and for the longest time we referred to it as “Money Being Thrown Away.”
@@KevinSun242 Was it in Boston where the “Big Dig” underground rail system was being built?
So Retarded Transportation division was taken?
"This joke may not work" could be followed by "but it's too late to change the slides"
Spirit Airlines: now offering complimentary oxygen
Spirit Airline, with available indoor sitting.... because we haven't figured out how to put sits on the wings and tail fins....
😂😂
- A NO - Spirit Airlines! 😂😂😂
Spirit Airlines: We Have To Fly You?!
Another store name I heard many years ago... Nieman Marcus = Needless Markups
CVS is how they describe their receipts
Consistently Very Stretched-out
I think Constant Vomiting Sheet might be another good contender.
Those receipts were handy during the Great Toilet Paper Shortage of Covid! (I was buying 48 individual cat food can flavors at PetSmart to get a 2 cent/can discount and got similarly-long receipts. The cashiers liked the TP quip.)
Our county seat has one major industry, the state prison. When they ran a campaign to come up with a new slogan for the town, I submitted "WELCOME TO DEER LODGE; IT'S NOT JUST FOR CONVICTS ANYMORE". I didn't win. 😥
😂😂😂 That's pure 406 right there!!
😂😂😂
Bro you deerserve a win! That’s hilarious!😂
@@hotshot-07 I was robbed!
I can guarantee it got passed around the lunchroom to much laughter, though!
Matching the fonts - I instantly noticed and the attention to detail is greatly appreciated!
You know you're a real nerd when you wonder how long it took for him to find the exact same font styles to match the logos.
I think you mean TYPEFACES...Fonts are the collection of vaeraitions within a typeface such as italic or bold, etc..
It's easy. There are websites that you drop the image on and it spits out a few options.
@JO-ly3hi you are correct, but I admit that I have accepted defeat on this one. As near as I can tell, the people who designed the original computer graphics programs had little or no background in print graphics, and made up or mispurposed various terms. I’m just grateful that points survived as a unit.
I usually figure the test of someone’s age or historical knowledge is if they know why “burying the lede” is spelled the way it is.
I remember those Geocities web pages that looked like a conspiracy nut's van, with every font imaginable crammed together. When browsers had a dozen branded 3rd party toolbars that were just as garish.
Kohl’s is dead on accurate. The only reason I’ve ever been in one is to return Amazon purchases my wife made.
My husband called it “For when you’ve just given up.”
It's not that bad. For comfortable clothes for men it isn't bad.
Its the best place for a pretty dish towel. 😂
@@angelgregio
Prices have really gone up there in the past few years. I stopped shopping there
@@cjhoward409 Oh wow. For women's clothing, I don't know too much. For guys, I have been able to get "house" clothes, like t shirts and basketball shorts, for super cheap. Around $10 and under each item and men's clothes is usually expensive.
Consumer Value Store. That's okay, I didn't know either.
Corner Vacant Store
@@77mRacing 🤣
Ah. So, their name is a lie, then. That tracks!
Now I understand why I love CVS more than Walgreen's.
Wow. This was my first job and even I didn’t know that! 😵💫
1:33 I feel he had lost the opportunity of calling it FIFO Burger 😂
He’s an engineer, not an accountant.
@@Metal_Auditor FIFO queues are a common building block in software engineering
@@dhombiosalso a common concept in different types of hardware design
All burger joints are First In First Out.
Better than a LIFO burger.
In-N-Out burger is called that because of how fast they pass through your digestive system.
Or as soon as you go in and see the line you're immediately in and out.
Funny you would think that would be the name for Taco Bell then.....
Or White Castle
That’s what I thought he was going to say 😂
You should look into soy intolerance
The Trader Joe's one was sooo accurate!
I find that Trader Joe's prices increased the least out of the other grocery stores here in LA during the past 4 years.
They really do go out of their way to find the most jacked up parking lots lol
I thought for sure you were going to put a "G" in front of Ross Cheap Crap!
I could see that but the stuff I get is emaculate. Can't wait to wear my jacket for the winter.
@ByronVelasco-qd1kn this is correct. You have to hunt to find good stuff.
I love Ross - men don't get it.
@lynnearlyriser sorry but that's wrong. Guys are the only ones I seen talking about Ross.
Hermosa Beach: Homes so close, when you sneeze, your neighbor calls to say, "Bless you."
The Khols rename is so funny! And too accurate! 🤣
Thank you for going the extra mile and matching the fonts. I noticed and appreciated it with olive garden.
I’d love to grow a breadstick garden
When you're here... you're disappointed ... 🍝
Use heirloom seeds that way you can always grow more breadsticks from the ones you have and have endless breadsticks. That's the secret.
“Get-In-Line burger” is so accurate, since they are *always* packed. It doesn’t matter where or what time of the day. They are always packed.
1:54 I'm doing a project next to a Trader Joe's - wow, is this accurate 😂
There is a Trader Joe’s in Boston with 10 parking spaces
One of the Trader Joe's here in Texas it's like you park on top of a parking garage and then cross a draw bridge to get to it.
My brother and I always called in n out "sit and wait" 😂
Thanks for posting the new jokes!
Ross is TJ Maxx and Marshalls, but the employees simply don't care anymore to keep the store neat, but there are security guards at the entrance...figure that one out.
At least they have security guards, my work (like corporate says we can't stop them) will let people walk out with more money worth of merchandise than I make in my 2 week paycheck. "Sorry, we can't afford to give you a raise."
I wonder why. 😕
Security to prevent the cashier from stealing 😅
@@mrch33sehed93 LOL, maybe. It's beyond me why anyone would put up with Ross when TJMaxx and Marshalls exist, since they are usually near each other.
2:10 better question, how could you NOT find a Starbucks? I'm pretty sure they opened one up in my kitchen, despite the fact that I never go to Starbucks.
i feel like this comment leaves more questions than answers...
@@macaronandcheese18113 fair
I've always refused to go to Starbucks because they refuse to serve me a small coffee or a medium coffee insisting I use their pretentious, silly descriptors.
There were three Starbucks in my town. The employees unionized. Starbucks closed and left town.
❤ Thank you, I also never go to Starbucks
I stopped going to Starbucks when my sister in law stopped working there, in about 2003-4. I was her ride to and from work. 🙂
As a fellow engineer I feel the need to point out, 'Who needs parking!' should be 'Who needs parking?'. Much appreciation from London.
Thats more of an accountant thing than an engineering thing.
Well, it is in beta after all.
Maybe, "Who needs parking!?" or "... parking?!". I prefer "!?".
But it could have been an emergency statement of fact: Who needs parking! You can't leave a Tardis any old place.
Not sure an engineer should be trying to correct grammar. Ever.
No, it's the UPS Store that needs to change it's name to Amazon Returns! 😅 That's the only reason I go, and I've been in there with a line and the people in front of me are all also doing Amazon returns.
The Trader Joe’s is so true ! 😂
It's the only place I ever bought cereal containing real tree bark.
TJs 🛒 parking lot is small on purpose to seem more crowded.
"Who needs parking!" Trader Joe's. Trader Joe's needs parking.
Fact 😅
For the surfer bit, I was thinking "One surfs waves, the others surf couches."
This is excellent! The In-N-Out one is accurate! I'd love to see more!
What's crazy is I actually thought of that analogy before.
$200000 houses for only $2M? That's SoCal in general!
In a world of people whom try hard to be funny, this guy makes it look effortless.
"Greyhound Bus = Because you can't afford another way to get there"
"McDonald's = Tasty and healthier everywhere except the Mother Country"
I laughed so hard I started choking and had a coughing fit. 😂
Beta testing from an Alpha Engineer...
Quality Assured
So true about all of them! Especially In & Out Burger and Trader Joe’s. 😂
Worked at CVS for 6 years. Stands for “Consumer Value Stores”. When it originally started they focused on health and beauty products. They slowly shifted to pharmacy over time.
Thank you for making me laugh. Trader's and Kohl’s got me good.
It is funny matching the fonts!
The khols/Amazon return really hit home considering i work at Staples, and most of our customers are people returning Amazon packages
I call cvs the "$11 for a friggin nine volt battery store "
Literally went to a trader joe's once. Yes. Parking was indeed an issue.
The TJ on Boylston Street near Mass Avenue in Boston may be the apotheosis of Trader Joe's accessibility issues. When visiting there, I have never noticed anything remotely resembling on-site parking. There's curbside parking (good luck finding a space!), with about one car length available directly in front of the store. Maybe the locals know which indoor parking facility in the area to use, or maybe everybody who shops there just walks as I did.
And that brings us to the next issue. Even if you DO know which parking structure to stow your car in while you shop, getting there may mean having to constantly yield to the perpetual flow of pedestrians in crosswalks. At corners where there are no walk/don't-walk lights, peds have right of way in the crosswalks, any time, willy nilly. Just when one group is finishing crossing one way in front of you, another group is stepping off the curb coming from other direction ... and now here comes another one from that other direction, and two more right behind, and then another group from the first direction again; and when you finally squeak over that crosswalk into the intersection, you have the same thing going on in the crosswalk on the other side. And on and on and on.
Finally, the store is actually in the basement, down a flight of stairs from the sidewalk. At least that's how it's been every time I've been there -- I admit I haven't been back in much too long.
In n Out can still move 20 cars faster than being stuck behind one car at a McD’s.
That is the funny thing about IN n Out, always a line, but it moves quickly.
Its mainly because I haven't seen a single mcdonald's have a mobile order taker outside in the line if it gets packed ythat how the line moves faster they are already have your oder either being made or qued-up by the time you get to the actual order mic.
@@jjdoughboy2103 Haha good point
Having the kid outside with the tablet taking orders is nerdy brilliant. It also reminds me of the carhops of the 50s. With McD's, I order ahead with their web app and they still manage not to have my order ready after a 20 minute drive. I have to wait in the parking lot pickup area! That In-n-Out kitchen is on fire, in a good way!
CVS should be called “we’re not Walgreens. get it right!”
Taco Hell. 'Lil Seizures.
Sorry, it's lewd, but when my friend said it, I squirted Coca Cola out my nose laughing, so I gotta share: Crotch-o Smell
As a former Angelino, we had all sorts of names for In And Out, many of them not recitable on a wholesome site like UA-cam.
Also, the original Trader Joes only has about six parking spots.
The very 1st, original Starbucks ☕️ Seattle, Pikes Place is extremely small. Wierd how the shop became a huge 🌏 profit brand....
I love this guy lol
Ollie's,where Disney toys go to die.😅😅
My Trader Joe’s has parking. But, all the shopping carts are way too big for the aisles. There’s no half carts.
Giant Eagle can rival the CVS receipt lengths. I swear to God, I've bought a single item there and had the damn receipt be a solid foot long.
I love this guy. Then again, I am an engineer.
Spirit Airlines - Where our customers are as good as dead! Now with complimentary seance to talk to our past customers!
Only been to a Trader Joe's once but that was very accurate for my one (and probably last) experience!!! Quad was terrific!!!
During COVID, I printed out a voucher at the casino for a gift giveaway. The staff members weren't physically handling (or looking) at the vouchers, they were just directing us to toss them into a box. Later, I made the comment to a friend that, because they weren't checking the vouchers, that box could be full of CVS receipts for all they know.
Thumbs up if your Trader Joe’s ALSO has insufficient parking 👍🏻
I was in LA for a week and this is so spot on
Brought out the 1987 school projector for his bit. Awesome
as a graphic designer, I applaud the typography effort :D
ROSS: Undress for Less
Get in line burger got me rollin’ 😂
Fantastic, as always!
ya passed the test
Another CVS receipt joke...
There's Target, then there's Easy Target (CVS).
You must mean the Consumer Value Store, except I've never found any value priced items there.
@@Paladin1873 Tru dat. Boy, we think alike.
3:05 Our receipts are long, because they contain unanswered prayers from hell! AAAAAAA- /lyr
New jokes. Well don!
😂
Good ole Comedy and Magic on the Strand😊 I miss heading down to Hermosa from the Central Valley for an afternoon / evening since moving to the Midwest…
In-N-Out is really fast. The lines are long but they go “In and Out” really quick. I’ve never waited more than 10 minutes, if that.
My husband has been hit in Trader Joe’s parking lots at least 3 times by people over 80.
Looks like some comic has watched Dudley Moore's movie Crazy People: "Buy Volvo... They're boxy but they're good".😁
The two times I went to a Kohls was literally just to do amazon returns.😅
My fav comes from the Simpsons
the try-n-save supermarket.
Of the 3 Trader Joe's in my area, 2 of them have crappy parking.
Winter Park FL has a TJs but it's the site. Not the store.
I know nothing about LA but $200,000 homes for $2,000,000 sounds like the Real Estate market in a nutshell. I just hope we do not have to bail out the private equity companies that have sucked up all the land when the bubble does pop.
Years ago friends moved from central CT to La Jolla. The selling price on the CT home was the downpayment for the CA home.
I have bought a few shirts from Ross in the past and they are paper thin. Now I only go there to get bags full of my colognes because they’re cheaper there than Amazon and I actually think they smell fresher.
The In-N-Out equivalent up here in Oregon is Dutch Brothers.
Culver's in FL was good up to around 2020 then it went 📉 ....
Ross is incredible. Don't you dare.
He tells the truth on
every single slide.
CVS is Consumer Value Store!
Those receipts came in handy during the pandemic's toilet paper shortage! (I got a lot of laughs with that line when I bought 48 cans of cat food at PetSmart.)
@@KennethPorter 😂
The trader Jo's one is so true!
That Trader Joe's joke is so spot on!
I don't know if it's like this for other states but for Missouri a "realtor" is only if that person is a member of REALTORS otherwise they are a real estate agent or real estate sales person. They are two different licensing bureaus. MREC & NAR.
Missouri Real Estate Commission
National Association of Realtors
Every real estate 'agent' is a real estate 'sales person' with MREC (unless they are a broker) but not every real estate 'sales person' is a 'REALTOR' with NAR.
Spirit: Walmart of the skies.
Saved the best for last I see 😂
Insufficient Parking Joe's is SPOT ON. EVERY SINGLE ONE.
Keeping with his theme, the title of his show should be “Stand up lack of comedy”
My trader Joe's also has a lack of parking, lol
The tax department in New Zealand is called IRD - Inland Revenue Department.
I call it Income Removal Department!
Olive Garden, Kohl's, and Trader Joe's - totally accurate.
Interestingly enough, Trader Joe’s targets areas with smaller parking lots because it’s cheaper to maintain. It also encourages people to use public transportation and such. We are so used to the gigantic parking lots here in the United States. It’s a trend that needs to change and I fully applaud Trader Joe’s for embracing it.
In and Out Burger lines were brilliant and so TRUE...thanks Brother! =)
Living in Hollywood, one night after clubbing on Sunset i went to join the queue at the near In and Out and there were ppl actually partying out of their cars bc the wait was so bad...i charged out of there and went to Wendy's nearby, no queue, yummy, made it home before sun up lol
So our former Federal Chancellor Helmut Kohl was in fact an Amazon return that somehow ended up in German politics .... I always suspected it to be it someway like that. It explains quite a bit 😂
For instance the blackout he brazenly claimed to have had concerning a briefcase full of money ...
greetings from Germany
WE'RE GOIN AFTER ALL THE COMPANIES WITH THIS ONE 🎉🔥 🗣️
As someone who has worked at Trader Joes for many months, i can confirm what you said 😂
4:45 Eventually you start shortening it to serfs
For me Rite Aid is similar to Kohls, except to pick up an Amazon package from a locker. I average 3-4 trips per month to my local Rite Aid - never bought a thing there.
Ive heard Ross called "cross dress for less"
Consumer Value Stores. CVS. They were a corporate client of mine.
And now southwest has gone to seat assignments, so no more lord of the flies to get a seat.
As long as those In n Out lines look, lightyears faster than Popeyes with 2 cars in the drive-thru
I feel like the Southwest Airlines joke was a bit too niche. While Spirit's problems have infiltrated the zeitgeist, I don't know that SW Airlines's 'hunting permit' seating is that well known. I found it extremely funny, but at one point they were the only airline doing direct flights between where I was and an airport near my parents' place so I've experienced it.
I remember a news story in the last few months about how they're changing from open seating to assigned seating. The only time I was on a flight with open seating, back in the 80s, the plane was almost empty so it wasn't a big deal. I can imagine it being a mad house when the plane is full.
I feel like the Southwest open seating is pretty well-known by Americans. It sucks on a full flight. However, more than once, I’ve gotten up and moved myself to a new seat a minute or two after a family sits down behind me with a screaming kid. I’ve always felt it was worth the gamble for that very reason.
So true about Trader Joe's!
This guy is your 8th grade history teacher who used to crack jokes and is now living his dream