It's really weird they gave him to another family without any real... process. I get why one may be against putting a child back in the system, foster care has many issues in and of itself, but it doesn't seem right to just give away the child you chose to adopt with no background checks, either. Being serious, I hope he's okay and that family is actually better to him.
Vera Adams definitely. like where the hell is he now? there have already been examples on how Myka was an awful parent who didn’t seem all that trained, so i doubt he’s with a family that’s gonna be a good fit for him
In some video about the situation, I saw a clip of Myka talking about how they were originally going to adopt from Thailand, but "couldn't" because Thailand has a rule that you can't post the child on social media for like two years or something. So they very clearly just wanted a child to pose for pictures and make their white bread lives look interesting, so vile.
Lile Gugava even if she was a terrible nurse, in order to get a job as one you need to be licensed and registered. so she DOES have professional, medical training. she’s just shit
They literally “handled” his so called “tantrums” with almost no care to the fact that his brain and emotions work so differently compared to their bio kids, and the fact that his breakdowns need to be handled differently. I’m sure they cared for him in someway, but was it all for show? I totally agree with you
This happend in the mid 1950's on both sides of my family and let's just say that anger issues and clinical depression became a permanent part of these two children's adult lives which in turn heavily scarred their own kids.
Eliza Singheart on the other hand, they probably did that little darling a big favor, by giving him an opportunity to be raised by non-narcissistic parents.
And yet, these people reproduced. They have children to feed, clothe, and raise, but as parents, the Stauffers have no accountability or responsibility.
Tbh after this I wander what other things might happened psychologically to their children, I’d do a little investigation if I was the government, but this is a white rich family in the USA they’re basically untouchable...
@@eliconti8388 As if skin colour means anything. People go through plenty of shit regardless of skin colour or whatever. The only privilege is having money and knowing the right people. You think being white will stop someone from having their child removed from them or for the police to ignore their calls for help? You rarely hear about the case from 2017 where a racist couple tortured a young disabled man for being white. They went on about Trump and tortured him. They got a measly years. Where was his white privilege?
@@Sir-Cletus intersectionality exists, and white privilege does exist but some white people do suffer from disabilities which puts them at a disadvantage. but skin colour is a factor in society, especially in america. there are multiple facets to discrimination, u can be discriminated for being poor, gay, disabled, etc. but that doesn't take away from the fact that white privilege does exist
@@Sir-Cletus Just because bad things happen to white people doesn't mean white privilege doesn't exist. "Privilege" doesn't suddenly mean "invincible". I'm a poor, white person with aspergers and depression, and wish I could die quite a lot...but I'm STILL not stupid enough to act like white privilege doesn't exist. Society leans in favour of whites and it's always been that way. Just because you don't notice it, or don't focus on it (you're most likely white, so would you truly know? Cause you obviously don't listen to poc) or even if you just don't care, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Also poc have to teach their kids to fear police, not trust them (Y'know, trust cops, like white people mostly do, because it's easier and safer for whites to trust police) cause even a stop at a light can turn to a cop killing them because they "thought" they had a weapon. Just because you don't see the fear they go through with their families, just because you aren't a poc, doesn't mean you should disregard everything they go through and fear.
Truly they treated him as “the other” child. They should ALL have the option to have “mum and dad” time, not just the biological kids. I am so glad he’s out of that home and so sorry he was ever there in the first place.
imagine how bad it would have been for him when he was older as well, his siblings would have been most likely to ostracize him and not view him as part of the family
I'm not defending these asshats, but the baby was only like 1 or 2. Yeah, he needed to go to bed earlier than the other kids. 7pm is the time my baby goes to bed too. The bedtime thing is the last thing to criticise these people for
I mean in a way it makes sense that the other kids stayed up for “mom and dad time” seen as though “bear” is autistic and, in a normal family, would take up more of the parents attention. It’s still fucked up but it makes sense in a way
@@erikascencen Trauma from neglect and abandonment can be retained in kids from as young as a few months old. He is 5. He might not remember her as a person, but he'll remember the trauma of sudden abandonment, because the results of it will be seen in his development. Which will stay with him for life.
Bear: *has meltdowns that are completely justified since he A. Spent his entire life in the adoption system & B. Is severely autistic* Myka: "is this a tantrum?"
I hope their remaining kids (if they even stay in that family oop-) turn into rebelious af teenagers who break stuff and steal their credit cards and crash their cars all the time. would love to see how they handle that.
In no way am I against special needs, my brother has both autism and ADHD, but is it bad that I would not want to adopt a child with severe special needs??
@@vsopegf depends. are you against adopting a special needs child because you cannot afford to take care of them and don't have the mental capacity to help them with their own mental health, or are you against adopting a special needs child because you lack empathy and understandment towards special needs children?
@@vsopegf it's OK in my opinion, but they were very much told about that before adoption was complete. They were informed very well about that. CT scans, the diagnosis, everything. So its not like it was a surprise or some shit. She's also a fucking nurse
@@vsopegf absolutely not. You know you have limits that would poorly affect a child's upbringing, so you're being merciful by not doing what myka did, and pretending you want one just for internet attention! Special children need special parents. It takes a LOT of extra skills that not NEARLY everyone has.... it's totally okay to not be a good fit for a child with severe needs. You're just being honest with yourself. And because of that, you'll never hurt a child the way that myka did. So don't for a second think you're a bad person for knowing you couldn't handle it. I can teach elementary school kids all day long and love every bit of it, but I've known since I was four that I don't want my own children. I am thrilled to work with other people's kids all day, but when I go home, I want to be alone and I want QUIET. 😂 does it make me a bad person? Nah, I'm saving hypothetical children from a NIGHTMARE of a mom because I'd have no patience left by bedtime 😂 and because I'm able to decompress when I go home to my empty house, I'm better able to be a patient, kind, and compassionate teacher. 🤷🏻♀️
My brother has autism, and I was in the foster care system for a short time with him. The amount of people who only took him in for a week , or only took him in for " Good Christian " points was disgusting. Eventually we ended up back with our biological parents, but my brother was a different kid after that ordeal. He's a wonderful person, and I wish people didn't treat kids with disabilities like cute toys to collect. My brother can't always communicate well, but he has FEELINGS. He's extremely sensitive, and he's a very kind soul. He would always bring back souvenirs for me and my sister when he got to go on field trips at school, share treats with us, and he's always happy to give you a hug if you ask nicely. He stutters , and fidgets a lot, and is quiet most of the time. But he's not DUMB. If you ask him about the movies he likes he can list off facts for hours. He loves to tell stories, and he loves animals. People with autism are PEOPLE! They have their own interests and dreams and desires, and FEELINGS, damn it. I hope this poor little boy finds a family that will love and support him as he is, and encourage him to explore the things he likes.
That's wholesome and your brother sound so lovely. Real shame people can be such assholes with so little understanding about other lives that's a little different from the rest. My brothers is also autistic. His memory and photogenic memory is on another lvl and playing memory games which he loves is not even funny(for me lmao I suck) bc he's so good at it😭 man I wish I could have a memory that epic 😌 There is a lot of sweetness and wonderful things as well as it's really hard and demanding from time to time. Nothing "bad"(don't like using that word, but in general you know what I mean) is without anything good and vice versa. ❤️
The fact that they've put him to sleep in order to invite their biological children to have "alone" fun with them in their bed is horrifying! Children sense when they're unwanted and discriminated against. They've probably left him with terrible emotional scars. I'm glad that he's not forced to live with those awful people anymore. I am disgusted.
You adopted him, he's supposed to be part of that family time. It is blatantly obvious they never viewed him as their child and more as a prop they had to deal with.
I hate people like this they probably only adopted to be like look at what a good person I am but that's straight up emotional abuse that kid didn't deserve to be with them and I hope the next family he lives with will be his last and they love him
That was disturbing. If they feel like he's their son, why can't he bond with his mom and dad also? They were ostracizing the adopted child. They were using him as a prop and dismissing him when the cameras stopped rolling.
That’s probably why he wanted food more too. He was probably up HOURS before any of the other kids and patiently waiting for mommy and daddy to come start breakfast for him
it’s disgusting how they prioritized their bio kids over him. especially since he’s special needs. he needs extra attention and deserved it. and the way they said for extra “mom and dad time” shows how they barely considered him their son.
Yea what a weird thing to say.... if you were reading worried about your bio kids missing out on some attention why would you not get a nanny or something??
Especially since he’s special needs and they didn’t give him time to adjust so that’s probably the root of his meltdowns and instead of actively trying to help understand him they record him, fucking awful people
@@nicoleagresor557 My cousin does that to her daughter but her daughter is a perfectly healthy brat. I practically vomited when I saw they did that to a child with developmental issues.
There has been update on H by the way from the new adoptive parents. He is actually talking and thriving. If Myka would have actually paid to get him the real help he needed and helped with trauma instead of causing trauma, H would have thrived like he is now.
Omg when he said he pits the baby to bed early so that they can have mommy and daddy time with their biological kids made my stomach so uneasy. These people are gross af.
Those people are horrible. But i read that such a thing is not completely wrong as the other kids might feel neglected, so its good to set aside some time for them also..
@@Mokun413 it’s their choice of words that is horrifying “biological children”. If they’d said the “older kids” that would be normal and positive to help older siblings adjusting to a new baby in the house. But specifically saying “biological children” is awful and traumatising for adopted children
I'm glad that child is out of their care. The way they phrased putting him to bed early so "our kids could have that mom and dad time" clearly shows they viewed him as "other" not as their child. Bear deserves better.
Plus, good people don’t causally just post videos of them “twerking” (or whatever that thing she called dancing was) basically on their what month old child or something. Especially in that tacky sports bra and pink leggings.
I completely understand what you're saying, but it isn't abnormal for parents of children with additional needs to set aside time to spend with their other children. Siblings of children with additional needs can often face responsibilities that most their age don't have to, which can be emotionally and physically draining. On top of that, naturally children with additional needs often need more attention from parents to support them properly. If Beat had been given equal attention as the other children in the family, people would've accused the family of neglecting him, which would've of course be fair, but it's important to meet all your children's needs. Neurotypical children sometimes do need time with their parents just to be kids, and not to be a carer. Bear was younger than the other children and it is not unusual for children to have different bed times. THAT BEING SAID, i am not condoning the actions of the Stauffers and can see why this separation of time with their children IN CONTEXT AND ADDITION to other things they showed in their videos could cause concern. I just wanted to highlight that it is not inherently wrong for parents to spend separate time with their neurotypical children does not ALONE indicate any favouritism or neglect, only addressing other needs of their kids :)
Beatrice Hopkins They did neglect him. She called his meltdowns tantrums and just complained about him needing additional care! They also added insult to injury and dumped him instead of using the money that they made off of him to get him the help that he needed and to take some goddamn parenting classes! Mommy/daddy and me one on one time with the other kids is a much better way to ensure that the other kids don’t feel excluded while someone is still there to help him. My parents were able to work full time and do this with my siblings when I was little, and she doesn’t even work outside of the house, so it’s not like she doesn’t have time to devote to the other kids while nap time was going on
@@beatricehopkins1328 What he said was that he put Bear in bed earlier so they could have "family time". This completely excludes him from the family itself and shows how thwy always saw him as "the child that lives with their family".
@@petitesayo4542 I thought that they had said 'mom and dad time' and didn't realise they said family time, in which case completely shows what you're saying. I'm sorry that I haven't been clear enough but I hadn't meant to defend the Stauffers in this case, I was just talking about separation of time in general. Obviously the language they used and the way they treated Bear was awful and I completely agree with what you're saying :)
As someone who has done a relatively good job at mostly overcoming my own abandonment issues, that's all I could think of. I was just like....for the rest of his life....for the rest of his goddamn life. traumatized. fuck, man.
let's not even talk about the trauma that the child is gonna have after being ripped from his home country into a new foreign culture by a family that plastered his face all over the internet and then gave him away and put him in the foster care system in that said foreign country
And that very same family saying “oh he can’t speak” despite him being just recently torn from his home country to a foreign land full of people who don’t speak his language of course a child especially a special needs child would take time to learn to speak
@@riverdaisy4215 i didnt even think ab that omg, he wouldve spent his whole life up until then being spoken to in a chinese dialect and then being taken into an english speaking country??? that sounds horrible
Absolutely disgusting! It's not an okay way to treat a neurotypical child, and it's *especially* not a way to treat a child with special needs. When a kid with autism has a meltdown, it isn't because he's acting out or being defiant, it's often because he's overwhelmed by sensory overload or emotions that are difficult to control. Parents need to make the child feel safe in order to end meltdowns, not treat him with condescending "are you done??"s. Gross.
gross even if he was a neurotypical toddler. It's the parents' job to teach them how to regulate emotions, and you do that by comforting a young child when they have a meltdown
It's absolutely horrible how obvious it is that they didn't love and care about him as much as they loved and cared about their biological children. Repulsive behavior from a parent.
I truly believe that she adopted him thinking he had a brain tumor and would die relatively soon. And after, she would have only her kids, her perfect family, could present herself as saint and get enough money based of her sob story. As soon as she realised he would live and would not be 'perfect' as her normal children she wanted to get rid of him. I'm glad her plan to play victim card did not work and it all backfired.
Absolutely agree. The cultural thing also came to my mind like how they ripped him out of his native culture and didn’t even bother to think about how he would need identification points because even though they would bring him up (if they would have ever done so) as an white American, he would never be fully treated as such in his country. They were never ever concerned for his well-being. If so, they would have educated themselves way more. About adoption, about living biracial, about adopting from a foreign country and about autism. It’s just disgusting. I realized, that especially those „super moms“ are the ones, that fail to see the one important thing about children: they are little humans growing to be an adult person someday. Not accessories, not parts of your own identity, actual little human beings.
I have a friend that adopts out of the US, and when I asked why she its a lot easier and honestly less money...AND there are more kids in much greater need in some of these other countries. She went to volunteer (she is a gyno nurse practitioner) and thats where she became interested in adoption seeing the terrible condition some of these children were in. It's not ALWAYS about accessorizing, most people that adopt out the country do a lot of research and come to the same conclusion. I never looked into why it's so much less money, but it is and its not just a small amount, my friend is not hurting for money and have their own biological children.
@@jillianc7485 true, but a person who had a medical education is having an advantage when researching special needs children... needs (sorry, my English is bad). Not saying being a nurse equals having a training for special needs children but really, she could have done a job of learning this stuff with her base
@@jillianc7485 true, but from what I heard she didn't say education in child psychology and disabilities, she just said medical training which she herself has as a nurse
the poor child was never accepted to the family. imagine the father, a fully grown man, getting triggered by his own son watching him eat. Sending him to bed early so they can allow family time with biological children is truly shocking. the parents are narcissists who isolated the very child they were supposed to love and care for.
While research suggests children with special needs/disabled siblings may benefit from one on one time with their parents to make it more fair in their minds, they took it 6o the extreme. I became disabled last year and had 6 months of needing a parent near me, so my mum often took my sister for a coffee (about every fortnight) to try and even it up. They however went above and beyond on the imbalance.
Bear seems like such a sweet boy. Even if he isn't capable of verbal communication, he is certainly capable of happiness. It's a shame they couldn't give it to him. He could have had a happy, drama free childhood. I just hope he can get all the future support he needs.
He's definitely well-adjusted for a child on a spectrum who's surrounded by unknown culture, surroundings, loud people, and having camera shoved in his face. Boi I'm sure most neurotypical kids wouldn't put up with all of this as well as he did
I don't know if it would have been possible from this family. They only care about shoving cameras in their kids' faces. So if they had kept him, he would constantly be exposed without a place to hide, not to mention they already had three kids (one being an infant) The would literally not have the time to care for him between all three kids without some of them being neglected. It was a terrible idea from the start. I hope he is very happy today.
"There are currently over 100,000 children in the US needing adoption. Are they not interesting enough for your youtube channel?" Nailed it, that's exactly why.
Was scrolling through comments while watching this video for like the 80th time and I read this comment exactly when the video line hit. magical. astounding.
@@helloill672 It's hard if you don't have money. These people have/had money. They could easily have adopted a US-born child. They just didn't want to.
@@roseedge5626 Domestic adoption is often foster to adopt, which I can understand is emotionally very hard if the adoption falls through, otherwise domestic adoption is really hard for them, since they already have several kids and no fertility issues. So while these people are vile, there are some reasons that make domestic adoption much much harder. That said, these people really did adopt for the aesthetic and money.
Yeah it’s like saying “yeah I kicked my cat and then ran over it but it meowed very loudly and scratched me once so it had to die” basically the same mindset and and both are very sickening.
And had the audacity to claim that it was HIS fault because he "chose not to be with them anymore" because he always was friendlier with other people :)
I might have missed it, but I don't think anybody has any idea what happened to the kid. "private adoption" could mean they sold him into slavery for all they know
@@BibleStorm She essentially lied calling the "new mommy" his "forever mommy" as he was sent to a foster home, but he is indeed in the process of being adopted by the current foster family. I guess some journalist named Sophie Ross has been following the situation. You can find her on Twitter.
She posted on an adoption Facebook group asking “what special needs would you consider minor or relatively easy to manage, that most people wouldn’t consider easy?” And that shows you their intent right there. They wanted to look like saviors.
the “crying” in the apology video is so horrifically fake and staged. whatever the husband’s name is started crying then immediately stopped, and same with Myka. they’re not sorry they gave him away, they’re sorry they were caught
YES! Do they do that to their “own child” I do it to my 4year old when she is throwing a fit for something silly like coloring over eating when she is hungry. But I also 100% gave birth to her and know her very well and all her weird corks, she is not having to adjust to a whole new country and home.
That's not true! Daddyofive had the southern hick personality trait, the Ace Family has a smug entitlement personality trait, and 8 Passengers has a neurotic Mrs. Bates personality trait!
As a neurodivergent person, I feel horrible for Bear but I’m just glad that he got out of there and I hope his new family gives him the right care and support he needs and doesn’t upload his meltdowns for some good clout.
I'm ND too and I can not begin to imagine how horrible bear was feeling being treated like a burden like that.... I've had my fair share of issued thanks to my parents not knowing jack shit about healthy parenting but treating an adopted child different for not being your bio kid is absolutely next lvl disgusting 🤢🤢 I'm happy to read in some comments that bear had been welcomed by a much better family and is noy able to talk and smile 🥰
Well maybe that was just a statement of a fact. They did kinda just sell him to the next people... So I guess since they couldn't return him, they found another way...
These are without a doubt some of the worst people I've had the displeasure of learning about in quite a while. I can only hope they are capable enough of guilt that they have trouble sleeping for the rest of their lives.
Imagine how awful Bear must feel, not being able to understand why he was not wanted by people who gave him a home for the past few years. Like that poor child
Dharma Ferrera I can’t help but to wonder if he noticed that he was sent to bed before the others. That part kinda killed me, to see them designate a time for everyone to get away from their own family member 🤢
He will need therapy for abandonment trauma. That poor kid, I wish I could hug him. We as commenters care more about Bear than these two "parents" did!
Specially if it is a middle-high (maybe high-low?) Family in the US. If I were adopted, taken to the US, live with silver spoon for a while and then returned to a shit hole I would absolutely kill myself
I have autism. I struggled severely for years, not getting the full care I needed until I was about 7. But my parents tried. And seeing this family not even try is honestly so so disgusting. We are people. We aren't just toys or accessories.
The moment they started to verbally segregate their children between "biological" and "not biological" I knew it was going to end in disaster. She was never going to treat her adopted son as one of her "real children."
I’ve never understood the people that adopt children and don’t treat them as their own, like why did you even adopt them in the first place if your gonna have that bias against them
As someone who is adopted from China, this story is so terrible to me. Being given back or given away was one of my biggest fears growing up. I actually had nightmares about that
They are disgusting human beings most adoptive parents love their children and the thought of doing that would never even cross their minds in so sorry you grew up fearing that.
That is so heavy, are you okay now? Did you have memories from china or was it just the fear of your adoptive parents not ‘wanting’ you anymore? Hope you ate okay now!
I wasn’t adopted from China, but I was adopted as an infant. I’ve always known my adopted mother as my mom, and my first father ended up cheating and I went through a divorce. I remember thinking “my first family gave me up, and now my dad is able to leave me”. I would have nights after the divorce where I stayed up at night crying, unable to let my mom leave because I was scared she’d disappear too. Later on I ended up developing serious mental disorders because of various trauma, and my current dad ended up threatening to send me away a lot instead of getting me therapy. Even now, at 21, I’m extremely clingy and I have abandonment issues even though my mom and dad have been married for years and I have three little siblings now - whom I love wholeheartedly as my own blood btw. So I understand what you mean 100%.
She looked disgusted when talking about how his disabilities were severe...her expression was like she smelled rotten food or asked for soy and got whole milk or something That's not concern, it was straight up disgust and regret.
*has millions of dollars and access to the best medical treatments in a country where people die because they can’t afford their medicine* “We just don’t think we’re equipped to handle these disabilities”
exactly!!! and they genuinely don't regret it! It was all for the cameras lmao. James has hearted so many comments saying they don't give a crap about the drama and just happy he's back I-
Every drama/comentary channel has done the same, I'm so glad they respected the kids (not only Bear but also the biological kids who lost a sibiling) and tried to save the little privacy they have left... I hate family channel so much
ive also seen a video about him being yelled at by Myka and then already holding his arm out as if she was gonna hit him. and then they made it about sensory help for him like squeezing. like no lady, I'm sure yáll abused him. poor kiddo
@@kentonrune6621 I can't belive a practicing nurse who has a disabled child wouldn't at least learn a little bit about the disability. I almost hope she looses her license to practice
Amanda Anderson I think it was to stop him sucking his thumb, I think that method is disgusting, they should have researched other ways that are more effective
I can't explain why, but hearing them verbalize how little theyprioritize his speech therapy and how they put him to bed early to spend time with their other children crushes my soul. I hope he's happy and healthy and LOVED wherever he is.
@@fizzycolalizzie Doctor: hey your kid is gonna be a low functioning autistic. It's gonna be really difficult- Mykala: **air conditioner noises** Doctor: h....hello? I'm telling you that it might not be the best idea to adopt him... unless you've worked with special needs kids before? Mykala: **more air conditioner noises** That's what i imagine what that exchange was like
Weren't there also posts revealed from before the adoption where Myka expressed specifically wanting to adopt a disabled child? They literally went for a disabled child to make themselves look good, but they got more than they bargained for as they had hoped it would be an easily manageable disability.
They “didn’t know the extent of his disabilities?” That’s what it’s like when you have a child, biological or not! You don’t know how your child is going to be born and you have to prepare for it all
Exactly!! Are you giving away your biological child when it turns out to have special needs? Are you giving up on your child that has an accident or develops a serious condition? Being a parent is committing to the uncertain.
@@pokeyswan5563 why on earth would you point that out then?!?!?! If the whole point is to protect the identity of that child? If you hadn’t pointed it out maybe nobody would have noticed
I have watched this video several times, and there is something so… CATHARTIC about Tom’s laughter at 19:55. It’s like someone in the room is being brutally, unapologetically honest when other people either won’t or are shocked into silence. Love you Tom 💚
“You done?” .... “YOU DONE?” ?!?!? She said that to a child, *a special needs child*, in a meltdown?! Wow, such a loving and compassionate “mother” there! /s
It was even more despicable to look into the camera with attitude to say: “he’s having a meltdown” and then back to her own child with such a harsh tone “you done?” Ugh, disgusting parenting.
@Winifred Exactly. There’s so much unsaid in her “you done?”... “You done [so I can have peace and quiet]?” “You done [so I can get back to doing what I was doing]?” “You done [so things can get back to the perfect image I want]?” It’s more about her than the child. Yes, children can have big feelings, and yes they can be “inconveniencing”-but it’s important to allow the child to feel and to process and to learn how to cope with said big feelings. It’s about them in that moment and she made it about her.
Dearest Fandoms she sounds so much like those moms that throw their kids into shit they don’t want to do like Ballet so she can get all the glory when they succeed and make them feel like pure shit when they fail at something they didn’t even want to do in the first place
in defense of parents everywhere, usually the happiness you see is genuine happiness of being a parent. I've yet to come across one that thinks they are "gods gift" cause they love their child and feel free to show the happiness they feel as a parent.
Gastone phrases like “being a mother is hardest job” don’t really help your case. Every other creature realizes it is their evolutionary role to have offspring and care for them, it’s not some saintly act.
@@JuanPJose huh? I never said that. I am a parent of two kids though and I can tell you it is difficult raising kids. Trying being sleep deprived for four straight years, lol.
Also, the child was not permanently re-homed- they flat out lied- people who've looked into it found out he was in fact put into the foster system. They so obviously don't care about his needs or feelings.
@@erossore8500 There's a channel I think called Without a Crystal Ball (sp?) that heavily covered this story when it first came out. I think someone who knew the family reached out to her and told her about his current living situation.
23:52 "... if these events happened with one if my biological kids, after all the help and after the behaviors we witnessed sadly we would have no other choice then to seek help and get their needs met" Clearly they wouldn't. They know what they did, it's just that they don't care about Bear in particular because his not their biological baby so they don't feel "stuck" with him.
@@ch0o_choo That's not it. They're treating their biological children as if they are more important. Just replace the word "biological" with "our actual important kids that we love" and you pretty much get the same result.
That's so disgusting. They literally gave that baby away because it didn't 'fit their expectations', when there's a lot of people who struggle a lot to get pregnant or have to wait several years in order to be able to adopt. These people are really trash, you know.
Jaime Capella I saw another comment that said that she assaulted a co-worker and lost her medical license. Idk if it’s true or not but that’s what I found about it
@@jaimecapella6267 yes, allegedly the other nurse wouldnt sign off on med form. When opiates or scheduled drugs are given, or if they need to be destroyed, u need another signature as a witness. She allegedly gave someone the wrong med, and when the other nurse wouldn't sign it, she hit this girl with a medical cart or something. The other nurse was 7 mo pregnant at the time.
Fr . I feel like people don't do enough research on adoption and it honestly makes me mad because there are so many things that come with adopting that people are unaware about .
@Elisa Castro you act as if these riots were unprovoked. when peaceful protesting leads to more violence from the police just what do you expect?? maybe look at the ones starting the violence rather than zooming in on the riots as if they're happening for the sake of it.
@Elisa Castro As the popular saying by a white mom goes "If my son went for some skittles and didn't return Or played in the park and didn't return Or reached for his license and didn't return And his dying breath called out my name I would burn down the damn city too"
dude if bear hurt one of their kids and that made them gave him away, that just shows that they dont see him as one of their 'real' kids. like, if one of their daughters hit their son while arguing or something, i can ASSURE you that they wouldn't put her up for adoption
1000% its just like the thumb sucking thing. They duct taped his thumbs but posted how she wished her 6/7 whatever year old daughter would never grow out of sucking her thumb
Right, this mentality is literally like he is a pet instead of a child. You dont get rid of a kid for hurting a kid, but you do give away a dog for biting a kid. Theyre vile people.
@@kenistan4706 To them, he was a trophy, a part of the algorithm. They wanted children from "poor" countries that had "Easy" disabilities so they could swoop in, play heroes, milk it on youtube until he got a bit older and she was able make pregnancy/new baby content. He wasn't their child, he was their meal ticket, and that's vile.
@@breana2734 - oh I feel bad for her children. her biological children I mean. because if that's what she really said about her daughter then it's clear that she's more interested in the idea of having a "baby", and keeping them in this infant state.
Exactly! And also that they should care?? Like it’s important that you research and prepare and know how to help him be comfortable and feel loved. It’s not something you just brush aside.
It’s not a bad thing, and they SHOULD care, because they will need to know about his extra needs so they can help him!! Honestly hard to believe people like this exist
When she said "it came through one ear and left through the other" i already saw it as a red flag, they're called special needs because they have special need that you need to learn and understand to be a good parent, not because you can ignore it and pretend they dont need that extra attention and extra work
looking at this with fresh eyes 2 years later... I think that they had that child taken away by CPS. There was straight up abuse in the posts, alone. Imagine what a surprise visit would have uncovered. I don't think they actually had any say in it and they lied to save face. Which makes them even more vile.
When he was crying, my big chow chow dog who was fast asleep jumped up and stared at the computer screen with the most worried look on his face, started searching for the crying baby. My neutered, male chow chow wanted to comfort that poor child as the mom sat there, passive aggressive.
That clip of this woman pulling down her shady ass sunglasses and asking “are you done” fully enraged me. That’s not how you deal with a child let alone one who happens to have special needs , he wasn’t having a fit he was having a meltdown(correct me if that’s the wrong term) , you do not be ‘sassy’ in that situation you try your best to comfort that child? I’m 15 and seems to understand that more than this like 35 years old couple??
Im 15 and autistic and so is my brother. Your correct comfort is the best you can do most of the time unless you know the child well enough to know what the meltdown is about.... Which she should have been trying to do but shes just lazy i guess
Account not in Use Loads of people with autism can’t even control that they have meltdowns, who would wanna choose to feel like that anyways? They’re not purposeful
NaJ ?! I don’t think any of us are done. Cuz I don’t think most of us are good with child abuse? But if you are, good for you. 😁 Go watch Myka some more.
This strikes a really strong cord with me. My family adopted my four younger siblings from Asia. One of my little brothers has sever autism. He has been one of the greatest blessings of my life. As I listened to this story, I just kept thinking him. My heart aches for this little boy and the mistreatment he endured.
I'm autistic and to see that little boy's hand duct taped made me so angry. Myka asking "Are you done?" like he's throwing a tantrum did as well. Meltdowns are not something that can be turned off. They are NOT tantrums. Treating meltdowns in the same way one would treat a tantrum is idiotic. Meltdowns can be from a variety of things, an example would be being over stimulated, but they can be caused by more than that. Tantrums are kids screaming in the store because they didn't get a cookie. There's a huge difference and my mother can tell the difference between when I'm having a meltdown or throwing a fit. Which granted, has subsided in recent months. But due to being more on the maturity level of a young teenager when I'm nineteen, they happen. Also, Bear's hand was likely duct taped so he wouldn't stim, which for those who don't know is the act of self-soothing in autistic people. Even autistic adults stim. It's a natural method for us to calm ourselves down and is found in the majority of autistic folks. A lot of children in particular can have damaging stims, like head banging or biting. In which case you're supposed to redirect the child to a safer stim such as petting a stuffed animal. Let's say Bear stimmed by pinching himself but instead of redirecting him, James and Myka instead duct taped his dominant hand so he couldn't do it. Bear will be traumatized forever and will never understand why. He was so little that he won't remember, but there will be underlying trauma in him for the rest of his life. I just hope to God that his REAL family is treating him better because he is probably so confused! Myka and James were not his parents, they NEVER were. They essentially fostered Bear for two years, exploited his nationality and disability for monetary gain and when it got too challenging, they got rid of him. Myka said she basically ignored the doctors and social workers that warned her and James about Bear's autism. She didn't listen for a very simple reason - she didn't care to. Myka and James wanted to be seen as saints for taking in an autistic Chinese toddler. They never would have been because they didn't give a damn about his disability or him. Even if they didn't return him, the abuse would have come out. And yes, duct taping a child's hand is abuse. So is separating your adopted child from your biological children. It's parental favoritism and is extremely damaging on both ends. Now, their other children will live with the fear of being sent away. They will be confused as to where Bear went, especially the little one around Bear's age because they were probably thick as thieves. They will know forever that their parents didn't want Bear, even if they themselves wanted him. The children that still live with Myka and James will also be damaged from their actions. It's not like it was too hard after a week, which is still no excuse. It was two years, all of the kids involved lived together for a long time in the eyes of children. Myka and James psychologically fucked at least four children in this process. Not including the baby that wasn't even a year old when Bear was sent away! They not only fucked up a child who had enough going on to begin with, they fucked up their own children. I hope that all of the kids get psychiatric care to deal with this. Maybe Myka and James will spend good money on their "real" children.
I have autism and sucked my thumb to the age of 7-8 maybe, my parents didn't know I had autism and they would try things to make me stop. Bad tasting nail polish stuff, tell me horror stories of people with deformed teeth, tying the arms of my sweater together so I couldn't get my hand to my mouth and bribe me with toys. They were bad parents for many many reasons but there is no way they would ever think of taping my hands.
Exactly. I used to have meltdowns, I have adhd and anxiety that I’ve had since I was a small child. Because if this, I used to get really overwhelmed, having meltdowns that felt like panic attacks to me, but looked like excessive crying to everyone else. They were terrifying, and luckily my parents recognized it, and I got medication. I can’t imagine how this poor child is feeling, especially since he’s unable to express how he’s feeling in a way that most of us understand. I hope that his new parent(s) treat him well and he finally has a good life :(
@@MyPineappleDream Sucking your thumb does deform your jaw over time (especially as a child), you might want to get into mewing if you're jaw has become narrow, slanted or if you have crooked teeth
As someone who is adopted, this is absolutely disgusting. Growing up, I used to think that my biological family just didn't want me, even though my parents did a fantastic job of raising me and explaining everything to me. My bio mom was 15 years old and her mom was on drugs, so logically, that's no place to raise a child. Even with that knowledge I still had to deal with feelings of rejection and confusion. Throw in severe autism and being from another country, I can't imagine what poor Bear must be going through. His comprehension level is not able to handle it and these terrible people just caused him years of unnecessary suffering. I pray that child is finally with a loving and suitable family.
t The first five years of a child’s life are what forms their base personality. He may not remember them, but the way he was treated and how it made him feel will likely have a lasting affect on his psyche.
t yeah he’s just a child...but he’s also a child with autism. This really might have set him back a lot. Consistency is extremely important for children with autism. Consistency was thrown out the window when he was rehomed :\
What's worse is that he has mild RAD which means he has trouble connecting with people ( but it was obvious he connecting with his new mom)and they just threw him back.
@t even traumas happening at the age of a newborn have lasting effects. Just because the child does not have the visual memories or the ability to explain what happened it doesn’t mean their body and psyche doesn’t remember the traumatic experience and cause defensive mechanisms, disorders etc. as a reaction to that.
They wanted to make sure the child they adopted was foreign so it was clear, when all the children were together, which one the adopted one is. Then it gives her attention forever. If it's just another blonde child they adopted then nobody would really know when they're out shopping at the grocery store.
When an autistic child gets in trouble or you yell at them, it’s honestly like the end of the world for them. They even apologize as many times until you forgive them. These “parents” did soo many things wrong, omg I want to scream!
That is an inacurate oversimplification. In this instance I think disapointing your new parents when you were raised in care would be more impactful on an adopted autistic child. Many autistic children do feel more strongly about a lot of things, like loving their favourite toy. However when it comes to transgressions often they either are unable to see how much it affects other people or don't recognize that the adult views it as a reflection of a much larger issue. Often other people, especially adults, assume maliciouse intent when many things are genuine accidents. As many autistic people struggle to communicate & put themselves in other people shoes, they are unable to understand why the angry adult is overreacting. The adults often assume the child is thinking & perceiving things in the same way but is unwilling to calmly discuss the incident to find out the truth. The irony of neurotypical people being unable to put themselves in the shoes of neurogivergent people is an irony lost of the majority. Horribly too many people are focused on moderating a child's behaviour rather than making the child suffer the smallest amount possible. This affects all children but obviously affects those with special needs, like those with autism, to an even greater degree. Also many autistic children are precocious, so if an adult is telling them off for a small transgression, they may not view it as a huge event, especially in the grand scheme or everything that distressed them that day. As the adult knows to be consistent, doesn't want to have a slippery slope of poor behaviour etc, the autistic child might just be confused as to why the adults is overreacting to this mild thing, when there are much larger problems in the world. The fact that the majority of autistic people struggle to show appropriate emotions means some blank faced kids apologizing itsn't received well by adults as they assume the kid isn't taking the situation seriously, even though they are. So the adult ramps the drama up a notch to convay the gravity of the situation. Which either confuses the child more why the adult is overreacting, or feels indigent that their punishment is too harsh for the crime. Or they are scared by the adult & upset but as they don't show it is neurotypical ways the adults don't realize. Often the kid will appear to suddenly react angrily or appear to suddenly get very upset, which for the adult may be confusing but considering the explination I just gave is actually perfectly logical & understandable. Finally I agree these parents did many many maaaany things wrong. The fact that they didn't even contact the parents of autistic children, or autistic people who are able to communicate, but just asked a Dr or two, who often have no idea about the day to day reality of having a disability, is the first red flag in a line of warning flags.
my little sisters autistic and has dravet syndrome and seeing parents like this breaks my heart. autistic children/ppl r so precious and sweet and if u cant take care of one dont. they dont deserve any of that 💔 takind care of a child with special needs is harder than you think 😔💔
That’s so true! My sister when she gets told off her heart breaks and she apologises until she knows my parents forgives her and her autism is very mild
@@avery1504 If family channels would just stick to being an Instagram story and not try to make entire videos about their children's lives, they would be great.
It is truly disgusting. My almost four year old brother has autism, and my mum - a single mum who also has been diagnosed recently with autism and ADHD - is educating herself SO MUCH, researches everything, hearing from professionals, and so on. She is raising him perfectly, and it’s so difficult watching these guys videos treating their ‘son’ like this ...
sorry for being late I was baby shopping in china
You're cute
👁👄👁
Love you Tom 💕
Yuh
Missed your gorgeous face Dad
still not over the fact they called it “re-homing” like he’s a pet
the way they talk about it makes me nauseas. although, i found out through a comment that he’s said his first words!!! 🥰🥰🥰
@@beanus7394 Awwww!
also "forever home" literally only ever heard that being used for dogs who get adopted
They named him bear. A common dog name.
Well they wanted a child from China like they wanted a designer puppy
she took a child who is highly prone to attachment disorders and said nope i dont want you anymore
That hurts so much... I hope he's fine.
they both did it.
Yup.
So they were supposed to keep it forever and do more damage?
Hotobu she wasn’t suppoesed to adopt him at al and think about what it really means to adopt a child with special needs
"We would never give up a child with special needs."
Oh? Where is he, then?
In China
Exactly... where is that baby boy at now?
Them: 👁️👄👁️
It's really weird they gave him to another family without any real... process. I get why one may be against putting a child back in the system, foster care has many issues in and of itself, but it doesn't seem right to just give away the child you chose to adopt with no background checks, either.
Being serious, I hope he's okay and that family is actually better to him.
Vera Adams definitely. like where the hell is he now? there have already been examples on how Myka was an awful parent who didn’t seem all that trained, so i doubt he’s with a family that’s gonna be a good fit for him
In some video about the situation, I saw a clip of Myka talking about how they were originally going to adopt from Thailand, but "couldn't" because Thailand has a rule that you can't post the child on social media for like two years or something. So they very clearly just wanted a child to pose for pictures and make their white bread lives look interesting, so vile.
Damn, go Thailand for clocking that shit in advance.
@@thaloblue honestly. The other countries should do so too
"white bread lives" lmaooo
Wasn't that another family tho? The one who killer their dog, philippa or something
To be fair, posting videos of their family is their job. It’d complicate it if they couldn’t do that
“his new mom has professional, medical training”
isn’t.... she.... a registered nurse.....
na if you look her up, the people that she worked with said, that she was a horrible nurse and only worked for about 2 years.
Lile Gugava wow... so basically anyone’s a better nurse that her
Lile Gugava even if she was a terrible nurse, in order to get a job as one you need to be licensed and registered. so she DOES have professional, medical training. she’s just shit
Someone has to unregistered her
When the bully says she's gonna be a nurse 💀
Imagine being their kids and learning your parents gave away your brother because he was too hard to raise? I can’t-
Omg now their kids gonna be perfect angels cause they're scared that mommy and daddy are going to give them away 😭
They literally “handled” his so called “tantrums” with almost no care to the fact that his brain and emotions work so differently compared to their bio kids, and the fact that his breakdowns need to be handled differently. I’m sure they cared for him in someway, but was it all for show? I totally agree with you
This happend in the mid 1950's on both sides of my family and let's just say that anger issues and clinical depression became a permanent part of these two children's adult lives which in turn heavily scarred their own kids.
Bloep Blep LMFAOOO
Eliza Singheart on the other hand, they probably did that little darling a big favor, by giving him an opportunity to be raised by non-narcissistic parents.
The fact that their “apology” includes them BLAMING the child too. Over and over again. They take little to no responsibility
And yet, these people reproduced. They have children to feed, clothe, and raise, but as parents, the Stauffers have no accountability or responsibility.
Tbh after this I wander what other things might happened psychologically to their children, I’d do a little investigation if I was the government, but this is a white rich family in the USA they’re basically untouchable...
@@eliconti8388 As if skin colour means anything. People go through plenty of shit regardless of skin colour or whatever. The only privilege is having money and knowing the right people. You think being white will stop someone from having their child removed from them or for the police to ignore their calls for help? You rarely hear about the case from 2017 where a racist couple tortured a young disabled man for being white. They went on about Trump and tortured him. They got a measly years. Where was his white privilege?
@@Sir-Cletus intersectionality exists, and white privilege does exist but some white people do suffer from disabilities which puts them at a disadvantage. but skin colour is a factor in society, especially in america. there are multiple facets to discrimination, u can be discriminated for being poor, gay, disabled, etc. but that doesn't take away from the fact that white privilege does exist
@@Sir-Cletus Just because bad things happen to white people doesn't mean white privilege doesn't exist. "Privilege" doesn't suddenly mean "invincible".
I'm a poor, white person with aspergers and depression, and wish I could die quite a lot...but I'm STILL not stupid enough to act like white privilege doesn't exist. Society leans in favour of whites and it's always been that way. Just because you don't notice it, or don't focus on it (you're most likely white, so would you truly know? Cause you obviously don't listen to poc) or even if you just don't care, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
Also poc have to teach their kids to fear police, not trust them (Y'know, trust cops, like white people mostly do, because it's easier and safer for whites to trust police) cause even a stop at a light can turn to a cop killing them because they "thought" they had a weapon. Just because you don't see the fear they go through with their families, just because you aren't a poc, doesn't mean you should disregard everything they go through and fear.
"How can you protect his privacy when you've done nothing but milking his whole existence?"
SAY IT LOUDER
When Jenna and Julien did more research on adopting their dog than you on adopting a child...
Jenna 😭😭
And on their hamster, Ad too
YES! I thought exactly it during the food part. Julien and Jenna had waaaaaay more patience, qualification and responsibility.
she even had a more genuine apology when her FISH passed away, it just shows how genuine she is. Especially compared to this train wreck of a family
Honey Dew her fish didn’t pass away she just realised it wasn’t fair to the fish that she didn’t know how to look after it properly so she returned it
the fact that they put him to bed early for “mom and dad time” with the other kids is...appalling.
Truly they treated him as “the other” child. They should ALL have the option to have “mum and dad” time, not just the biological kids. I am so glad he’s out of that home and so sorry he was ever there in the first place.
imagine how bad it would have been for him when he was older as well, his siblings would have been most likely to ostracize him and not view him as part of the family
ik, if i was him I would feel so singled out and unwanted
I'm not defending these asshats, but the baby was only like 1 or 2. Yeah, he needed to go to bed earlier than the other kids. 7pm is the time my baby goes to bed too. The bedtime thing is the last thing to criticise these people for
I mean in a way it makes sense that the other kids stayed up for “mom and dad time” seen as though “bear” is autistic and, in a normal family, would take up more of the parents attention. It’s still fucked up but it makes sense in a way
she wasn't crying like that when she traumatized her child
She wasn't crying at all. That is the fakest soap opera crying I've ever seen, I laughed out loud ngl.
@@erikascencen Trauma from neglect and abandonment can be retained in kids from as young as a few months old. He is 5. He might not remember her as a person, but he'll remember the trauma of sudden abandonment, because the results of it will be seen in his development. Which will stay with him for life.
HYBE OFFICIAL have you seriously never heard of ACES?
@@Who-Dunnit kids dont have any memories up age 5;try again.
HYBE OFFICIAL dummy that’s not how that works. You don’t remember learning to speak but you still know how to speak :0
Imagine curling your hair and coordinating your outfits for a crying apology video
Toms acting like more of a parent to a child he has NEVER met than the kids literal parents.
He's so nice i can't even-
And he even researched what would be best for this kid upon the adoption like who is this man with no kids being a better parent than they ever could
Probably because they weren't his literal parents - just some clout chasers.
Danielle fr i want tom to adopt me
Tom, who DOESN'T HAVE KIDS
Bear: *has meltdowns that are completely justified since he A. Spent his entire life in the adoption system & B. Is severely autistic*
Myka: "is this a tantrum?"
Myka: is this a tantrum??? QUICK GET THE CAMERA WE GOTTA PAY THIS BILLS THIS MONTH
Myka: ARE YOU DONE????
Bear : *is hungry*
Myka : HOW DO I DEAL WITH THIS??!!
I hope their remaining kids (if they even stay in that family oop-) turn into rebelious af teenagers who break stuff and steal their credit cards and crash their cars all the time. would love to see how they handle that.
“ArE yOu dOne?”
Crazy that Tom did more research on adopting a child then Stauffer's did.
Omg your right!
In no way am I against special needs, my brother has both autism and ADHD, but is it bad that I would not want to adopt a child with severe special needs??
@@vsopegf depends. are you against adopting a special needs child because you cannot afford to take care of them and don't have the mental capacity to help them with their own mental health, or are you against adopting a special needs child because you lack empathy and understandment towards special needs children?
@@vsopegf it's OK in my opinion, but they were very much told about that before adoption was complete. They were informed very well about that. CT scans, the diagnosis, everything. So its not like it was a surprise or some shit. She's also a fucking nurse
@@vsopegf absolutely not. You know you have limits that would poorly affect a child's upbringing, so you're being merciful by not doing what myka did, and pretending you want one just for internet attention! Special children need special parents. It takes a LOT of extra skills that not NEARLY everyone has.... it's totally okay to not be a good fit for a child with severe needs. You're just being honest with yourself. And because of that, you'll never hurt a child the way that myka did. So don't for a second think you're a bad person for knowing you couldn't handle it. I can teach elementary school kids all day long and love every bit of it, but I've known since I was four that I don't want my own children. I am thrilled to work with other people's kids all day, but when I go home, I want to be alone and I want QUIET. 😂 does it make me a bad person? Nah, I'm saving hypothetical children from a NIGHTMARE of a mom because I'd have no patience left by bedtime 😂 and because I'm able to decompress when I go home to my empty house, I'm better able to be a patient, kind, and compassionate teacher. 🤷🏻♀️
My brother has autism, and I was in the foster care system for a short time with him. The amount of people who only took him in for a week , or only took him in for " Good Christian " points was disgusting. Eventually we ended up back with our biological parents, but my brother was a different kid after that ordeal. He's a wonderful person, and I wish people didn't treat kids with disabilities like cute toys to collect. My brother can't always communicate well, but he has FEELINGS. He's extremely sensitive, and he's a very kind soul. He would always bring back souvenirs for me and my sister when he got to go on field trips at school, share treats with us, and he's always happy to give you a hug if you ask nicely. He stutters , and fidgets a lot, and is quiet most of the time. But he's not DUMB. If you ask him about the movies he likes he can list off facts for hours. He loves to tell stories, and he loves animals. People with autism are PEOPLE! They have their own interests and dreams and desires, and FEELINGS, damn it. I hope this poor little boy finds a family that will love and support him as he is, and encourage him to explore the things he likes.
Hope the both of you are in a better place now. Nobody deserves to be treated like that
@@tertiaritus We are in a better place now, and my brother is happy and healthy!
@@4angstyzukosproductions186 that's good to hear! May things carry on thia way forward
1, I love avatar so nice profile lol 2, thanks for being so supportive of us on the spectrum
That's wholesome and your brother sound so lovely. Real shame people can be such assholes with so little understanding about other lives that's a little different from the rest.
My brothers is also autistic. His memory and photogenic memory is on another lvl and playing memory games which he loves is not even funny(for me lmao I suck) bc he's so good at it😭 man I wish I could have a memory that epic 😌
There is a lot of sweetness and wonderful things as well as it's really hard and demanding from time to time. Nothing "bad"(don't like using that word, but in general you know what I mean) is without anything good and vice versa. ❤️
The fact that they've put him to sleep in order to invite their biological children to have "alone" fun with them in their bed is horrifying! Children sense when they're unwanted and discriminated against. They've probably left him with terrible emotional scars. I'm glad that he's not forced to live with those awful people anymore. I am disgusted.
You adopted him, he's supposed to be part of that family time. It is blatantly obvious they never viewed him as their child and more as a prop they had to deal with.
they should be held accountable for neglect
I cant believe he actually uploaded himself saying that. so bad
I hate people like this they probably only adopted to be like look at what a good person I am but that's straight up emotional abuse that kid didn't deserve to be with them and I hope the next family he lives with will be his last and they love him
This was my biggest problem with the entire video. It literally almost made me cry.
No one is talking about how he was put to bed early so the other kids could stay up with the parents “FOR A FEW HOURS”???
That was disturbing. If they feel like he's their son, why can't he bond with his mom and dad also? They were ostracizing the adopted child. They were using him as a prop and dismissing him when the cameras stopped rolling.
@@marycatherinegallagher4552 exactly it is incredibly disturbing. Really solidified the absolute fuckery their family is for me.
That’s probably why he wanted food more too. He was probably up HOURS before any of the other kids and patiently waiting for mommy and daddy to come start breakfast for him
it’s disgusting how they prioritized their bio kids over him. especially since he’s special needs. he needs extra attention and deserved it. and the way they said for extra “mom and dad time” shows how they barely considered him their son.
Yea what a weird thing to say.... if you were reading worried about your bio kids missing out on some attention why would you not get a nanny or something??
Asking “ARE YOU DONE?” to a developing toddler with known issues is not the way to go sis
it was a yikes moment for us all
Yes, so many inappropriate choices made by them... And it's what they chose to feature!
Especially since he’s special needs and they didn’t give him time to adjust so that’s probably the root of his meltdowns and instead of actively trying to help understand him they record him, fucking awful people
Awful ain't it. She's the one with the sodding attachment issues. She clearly resented him 😔 poor little guy
@@nicoleagresor557 My cousin does that to her daughter but her daughter is a perfectly healthy brat. I practically vomited when I saw they did that to a child with developmental issues.
There has been update on H by the way from the new adoptive parents. He is actually talking and thriving. If Myka would have actually paid to get him the real help he needed and helped with trauma instead of causing trauma, H would have thrived like he is now.
Ohhh this makes me so relieved!! Thanks for your comment!
where can I find this update?
This made me so happy omg
@@drewm4657 the mom’s IG
@@Weedybiscuit420 which is…?
Omg when he said he pits the baby to bed early so that they can have mommy and daddy time with their biological kids made my stomach so uneasy. These people are gross af.
omg that's so disgusting
Those people are horrible. But i read that such a thing is not completely wrong as the other kids might feel neglected, so its good to set aside some time for them also..
@@Mokun413 it’s their choice of words that is horrifying “biological children”.
If they’d said the “older kids” that would be normal and positive to help older siblings adjusting to a new baby in the house. But specifically saying “biological children” is awful and traumatising for adopted children
@@Pheluv ohh yess thats true🤔
DESPICABLE!!!!!!!
I'm glad that child is out of their care. The way they phrased putting him to bed early so "our kids could have that mom and dad time" clearly shows they viewed him as "other" not as their child. Bear deserves better.
Plus, good people don’t causally just post videos of them “twerking” (or whatever that thing she called dancing was) basically on their what month old child or something. Especially in that tacky sports bra and pink leggings.
I completely understand what you're saying, but it isn't abnormal for parents of children with additional needs to set aside time to spend with their other children. Siblings of children with additional needs can often face responsibilities that most their age don't have to, which can be emotionally and physically draining. On top of that, naturally children with additional needs often need more attention from parents to support them properly. If Beat had been given equal attention as the other children in the family, people would've accused the family of neglecting him, which would've of course be fair, but it's important to meet all your children's needs. Neurotypical children sometimes do need time with their parents just to be kids, and not to be a carer. Bear was younger than the other children and it is not unusual for children to have different bed times. THAT BEING SAID, i am not condoning the actions of the Stauffers and can see why this separation of time with their children IN CONTEXT AND ADDITION to other things they showed in their videos could cause concern. I just wanted to highlight that it is not inherently wrong for parents to spend separate time with their neurotypical children does not ALONE indicate any favouritism or neglect, only addressing other needs of their kids :)
Beatrice Hopkins They did neglect him. She called his meltdowns tantrums and just complained about him needing additional care! They also added insult to injury and dumped him instead of using the money that they made off of him to get him the help that he needed and to take some goddamn parenting classes! Mommy/daddy and me one on one time with the other kids is a much better way to ensure that the other kids don’t feel excluded while someone is still there to help him. My parents were able to work full time and do this with my siblings when I was little, and she doesn’t even work outside of the house, so it’s not like she doesn’t have time to devote to the other kids while nap time was going on
@@beatricehopkins1328 What he said was that he put Bear in bed earlier so they could have "family time".
This completely excludes him from the family itself and shows how thwy always saw him as "the child that lives with their family".
@@petitesayo4542 I thought that they had said 'mom and dad time' and didn't realise they said family time, in which case completely shows what you're saying. I'm sorry that I haven't been clear enough but I hadn't meant to defend the Stauffers in this case, I was just talking about separation of time in general. Obviously the language they used and the way they treated Bear was awful and I completely agree with what you're saying :)
“It really hurts when I get hateful comments” yeah and imagine how much it hurts your son when he gets abandoned
Again. Abandoned AGAIN.
As someone who has done a relatively good job at mostly overcoming my own abandonment issues, that's all I could think of. I was just like....for the rest of his life....for the rest of his goddamn life. traumatized. fuck, man.
@@aj-vu3xv I am so sure about that
Or his hand wrapped in duct tape.
'son'
let's not even talk about the trauma that the child is gonna have after being ripped from his home country into a new foreign culture by a family that plastered his face all over the internet and then gave him away and put him in the foster care system in that said foreign country
And that very same family saying “oh he can’t speak” despite him being just recently torn from his home country to a foreign land full of people who don’t speak his language of course a child especially a special needs child would take time to learn to speak
Seriously that's fucked.
@@riverdaisy4215 i didnt even think ab that omg, he wouldve spent his whole life up until then being spoken to in a chinese dialect and then being taken into an english speaking country??? that sounds horrible
**child having literal meltdown**
"ArE yOu DoNe?!?"👁👄👁💅🏻
disgusting.
If there care tears you best start comforting even I know that how are they allowed to be parents
Absolutely disgusting! It's not an okay way to treat a neurotypical child, and it's *especially* not a way to treat a child with special needs. When a kid with autism has a meltdown, it isn't because he's acting out or being defiant, it's often because he's overwhelmed by sensory overload or emotions that are difficult to control. Parents need to make the child feel safe in order to end meltdowns, not treat him with condescending "are you done??"s. Gross.
Jesus. My heart. 💔
gross even if he was a neurotypical toddler. It's the parents' job to teach them how to regulate emotions, and you do that by comforting a young child when they have a meltdown
Do they not understand that autistic children don't have a choice in whether they have a meltdown or not?
It's absolutely horrible how obvious it is that they didn't love and care about him as much as they loved and cared about their biological children. Repulsive behavior from a parent.
Ugh yeah my stepmom did exactly that and she made me and my brothers feel like total shit... glad I'm out of that bullshit lmaoo
new stuff I’m sorry :(
new stuff 😢 But F her then
@@miramiraonthewall133 thank you for the sympathy (I think that's the word? Sorry) ❤
new stuff your welcome!
"But my cat decided to die-"
Um sir? Please take a longer break if needed.
I loved that cat when it appeared in his Lele Pons makeup palette video.
I had a cat advertising at the beginning of this video. UA-cam be playing shading
Boring ass comment section.
Rip the cat
I heard cactus... which made it 19387382 times funnier
I truly believe that she adopted him thinking he had a brain tumor and would die relatively soon. And after, she would have only her kids, her perfect family, could present herself as saint and get enough money based of her sob story. As soon as she realised he would live and would not be 'perfect' as her normal children she wanted to get rid of him. I'm glad her plan to play victim card did not work and it all backfired.
Probably hoping for the insurance $ as well.
As a Chinese-American, it makes my blood boil how *these* people treat international orphans like ACCESSORIES to their "real lives"
She never even treated him like a person with needs! She treated him like a dog who was disobeying her on purpose.
True. I am so angry at what they did and how they thought it was okay to treat the baby like a trophy
Absolutely agree.
The cultural thing also came to my mind like how they ripped him out of his native culture and didn’t even bother to think about how he would need identification points because even though they would bring him up (if they would have ever done so) as an white American, he would never be fully treated as such in his country.
They were never ever concerned for his well-being. If so, they would have educated themselves way more. About adoption, about living biracial, about adopting from a foreign country and about autism.
It’s just disgusting. I realized, that especially those „super moms“ are the ones, that fail to see the one important thing about children: they are little humans growing to be an adult person someday. Not accessories, not parts of your own identity, actual little human beings.
I have a friend that adopts out of the US, and when I asked why she its a lot easier and honestly less money...AND there are more kids in much greater need in some of these other countries. She went to volunteer (she is a gyno nurse practitioner) and thats where she became interested in adoption seeing the terrible condition some of these children were in. It's not ALWAYS about accessorizing, most people that adopt out the country do a lot of research and come to the same conclusion. I never looked into why it's so much less money, but it is and its not just a small amount, my friend is not hurting for money and have their own biological children.
@@Em22-wtf wow my comment is popular enough to get a negative response by someone who's offended thanks so much
“his new mummy has medical, professional training”
aren’t you a registered nurse love?
being a nurse is *vastly* different than having an education in child psychology and disability training.
@@jillianc7485 true, but a person who had a medical education is having an advantage when researching special needs children... needs (sorry, my English is bad). Not saying being a nurse equals having a training for special needs children but really, she could have done a job of learning this stuff with her base
I was bathing the same thing!!!
@@jillianc7485 true, but from what I heard she didn't say education in child psychology and disabilities, she just said medical training which she herself has as a nurse
Thinking**
the poor child was never accepted to the family. imagine the father, a fully grown man, getting triggered by his own son watching him eat. Sending him to bed early so they can allow family time with biological children is truly shocking. the parents are narcissists who isolated the very child they were supposed to love and care for.
While research suggests children with special needs/disabled siblings may benefit from one on one time with their parents to make it more fair in their minds, they took it 6o the extreme. I became disabled last year and had 6 months of needing a parent near me, so my mum often took my sister for a coffee (about every fortnight) to try and even it up. They however went above and beyond on the imbalance.
:(
Leaving was a win for Bear.
Just goes to show that they only adopted him for the views and to fulfill the white savior complex
@@emjenkins464agree, what they meant was they put him to bed at half 7 because that was when they weren't going to record anything for their channel!
Bear seems like such a sweet boy. Even if he isn't capable of verbal communication, he is certainly capable of happiness. It's a shame they couldn't give it to him. He could have had a happy, drama free childhood. I just hope he can get all the future support he needs.
He's definitely well-adjusted for a child on a spectrum who's surrounded by unknown culture, surroundings, loud people, and having camera shoved in his face. Boi I'm sure most neurotypical kids wouldn't put up with all of this as well as he did
I don't know if it would have been possible from this family. They only care about shoving cameras in their kids' faces. So if they had kept him, he would constantly be exposed without a place to hide, not to mention they already had three kids (one being an infant)
The would literally not have the time to care for him between all three kids without some of them being neglected. It was a terrible idea from the start.
I hope he is very happy today.
"There are currently over 100,000 children in the US needing adoption. Are they not interesting enough for your youtube channel?" Nailed it, that's exactly why.
Was scrolling through comments while watching this video for like the 80th time and I read this comment exactly when the video line hit. magical. astounding.
That's true but also it's really hard to adopt in the U.S. The parents are still evil tho
@@helloill672 It's hard if you don't have money. These people have/had money. They could easily have adopted a US-born child. They just didn't want to.
@@roseedge5626 That's true
@@roseedge5626 Domestic adoption is often foster to adopt, which I can understand is emotionally very hard if the adoption falls through, otherwise domestic adoption is really hard for them, since they already have several kids and no fertility issues. So while these people are vile, there are some reasons that make domestic adoption much much harder.
That said, these people really did adopt for the aesthetic and money.
hold up a gofundme for adopting a CHILD while already being rich?!? jesus christ
and apparently the husband got a 10k bonus from work for the adoption fees...
@@mariagoespro I wonder how much money these people made off that *one child,* only to abandon him like an unwanted dog.
Wonder if they only used the kid for money and views and actually never wanted him at all
i didnt know ths part of the story until now. so disgusting.
I’m surprised they didn’t use him as a tax write-off.
lmfao not Tom laughing like a goose at people crying
Same
Haha same
If i close my eyes, it's a goose.
Fake crying, to be exact.
I STARTED CHOCKING ON AIR
I'd just like to point out that UA-cam's subtitles autocorrect "Stauffer" to "selfish", and that's the most accurate thing ever
real ridiculous how this couple openly neglected a child, and then had the balls to act like they’re the victims
Yeah it’s like saying “yeah I kicked my cat and then ran over it but it meowed very loudly and scratched me once so it had to die” basically the same mindset and and both are very sickening.
And the fact that they then had the audacity to be asking something from others in the same video where they address it!!!
Toxic
Just ask anyone who grew up with narcissistic parents.
And had the audacity to claim that it was HIS fault because he "chose not to be with them anymore" because he always was friendlier with other people :)
As disgusting as this is, it's probably for the best that he is not with that family anymore.
exactly what i was thinking👏🏻
I agree, but at the same time if this happened to their biological kids would they just use the 7 days return policy? 🥱 I am boiling inside
I might have missed it, but I don't think anybody has any idea what happened to the kid. "private adoption" could mean they sold him into slavery for all they know
@@BibleStorm She essentially lied calling the "new mommy" his "forever mommy" as he was sent to a foster home, but he is indeed in the process of being adopted by the current foster family. I guess some journalist named Sophie Ross has been following the situation. You can find her on Twitter.
For sure.
She posted on an adoption Facebook group asking “what special needs would you consider minor or relatively easy to manage, that most people wouldn’t consider easy?”
And that shows you their intent right there. They wanted to look like saviors.
Makes my goddamn skin crawl.
Is that her? Wow.. I'm not expecting someone asked that on facebook
I just threw up in my mouth 🤮
this is so over the top evil , this is like cartoonishly evil
Absolutely disgusting.
the “crying” in the apology video is so horrifically fake and staged. whatever the husband’s name is started crying then immediately stopped, and same with Myka. they’re not sorry they gave him away, they’re sorry they were caught
Not one tear was shed!
yells at kid who can’t process emotions: *ARE YOU DONE*
Yikes.
YES! Do they do that to their “own child” I do it to my 4year old when she is throwing a fit for something silly like coloring over eating when she is hungry. But I also 100% gave birth to her and know her very well and all her weird corks, she is not having to adjust to a whole new country and home.
@@katiefisher5331 not only a new country/home but he has a disability. His age, his new family/home, and his disability all influenced his tantrums.
"He's *probably* having a breakdown. 😒🥱"
telling that to anyone, especially any kid, is incredibly damaging.
"Do I feel like a failure as a mom? Like 500%!"
Wow! That's a 100% per child!
This is the funniest thing I've seen for a while
Laughed with my mouth full. Spit my lunch out. Thanks.
125% per child now.
‘Personality trait is having a lot of children’ can be said for every family channel.
It is their content, not their fault
@@angelikalaser7778 they make that content tho like ??
@@tinakushner1758 I was being sarcastic, sorry.
You are right they literally made their content, with their uterus
That's not true! Daddyofive had the southern hick personality trait, the Ace Family has a smug entitlement personality trait, and 8 Passengers has a neurotic Mrs. Bates personality trait!
Sits back wondering why me and my 9 sibs never made a super popular youtube channel.
As a neurodivergent person, I feel horrible for Bear but I’m just glad that he got out of there and I hope his new family gives him the right care and support he needs and doesn’t upload his meltdowns for some good clout.
I'm ND too and I can not begin to imagine how horrible bear was feeling being treated like a burden like that.... I've had my fair share of issued thanks to my parents not knowing jack shit about healthy parenting but treating an adopted child different for not being your bio kid is absolutely next lvl disgusting 🤢🤢
I'm happy to read in some comments that bear had been welcomed by a much better family and is noy able to talk and smile 🥰
Myka: “my child is not returnable” Also myka: “returns the child”
And gets pregnant when she just went though the hustle of Adopting the child. Someone send these people contraception 🤦🏽♀️
Zeineb ♥
Let’s make a gofundme for condoms
//jacky// that’s actually a good idea ngl
Well maybe that was just a statement of a fact. They did kinda just sell him to the next people... So I guess since they couldn't return him, they found another way...
These are without a doubt some of the worst people I've had the displeasure of learning about in quite a while. I can only hope they are capable enough of guilt that they have trouble sleeping for the rest of their lives.
are we not going to talk about how she straight up said she wanted a native American name for her kids im
i literally went 🤨🤨🤨
the colonizers are at it again 😃
natalieee christopher columbus vibez😍😍🤩
america has no culture ive always said this😭😭😭😭
Coloniser vibeeeez 🙈 no thanks 🚫
Imagine how awful Bear must feel, not being able to understand why he was not wanted by people who gave him a home for the past few years. Like that poor child
🥺 exactly
and especially trying to cope and process how he was treated wrongfully and singled out. I really hope he gets all the help and therapy he needs.
Dharma Ferrera I can’t help but to wonder if he noticed that he was sent to bed before the others. That part kinda killed me, to see them designate a time for everyone to get away from their own family member 🤢
He will need therapy for abandonment trauma. That poor kid, I wish I could hug him. We as commenters care more about Bear than these two "parents" did!
Specially if it is a middle-high (maybe high-low?) Family in the US. If I were adopted, taken to the US, live with silver spoon for a while and then returned to a shit hole I would absolutely kill myself
I have autism. I struggled severely for years, not getting the full care I needed until I was about 7. But my parents tried. And seeing this family not even try is honestly so so disgusting. We are people. We aren't just toys or accessories.
Tom looks even hotter when he's being mean.
I swear 😭😭😭
He did seem to be sweating
Especially with his British accent 😌
I want him to bully me
@@Kat-qr7hv Me too 😂
The moment they started to verbally segregate their children between "biological" and "not biological" I knew it was going to end in disaster. She was never going to treat her adopted son as one of her "real children."
💯💯
I’ve never understood the people that adopt children and don’t treat them as their own, like why did you even adopt them in the first place if your gonna have that bias against them
@@livs4721 obviously for the white saviour complex and to look super caring and be a cool mum! ffs I hate this family lmfao
As someone who is adopted from China, this story is so terrible to me. Being given back or given away was one of my biggest fears growing up. I actually had nightmares about that
💗
They are disgusting human beings most adoptive parents love their children and the thought of doing that would never even cross their minds in so sorry you grew up fearing that.
Sounds like you weren't defective
That is so heavy, are you okay now? Did you have memories from china or was it just the fear of your adoptive parents not ‘wanting’ you anymore? Hope you ate okay now!
I wasn’t adopted from China, but I was adopted as an infant. I’ve always known my adopted mother as my mom, and my first father ended up cheating and I went through a divorce. I remember thinking “my first family gave me up, and now my dad is able to leave me”. I would have nights after the divorce where I stayed up at night crying, unable to let my mom leave because I was scared she’d disappear too. Later on I ended up developing serious mental disorders because of various trauma, and my current dad ended up threatening to send me away a lot instead of getting me therapy. Even now, at 21, I’m extremely clingy and I have abandonment issues even though my mom and dad have been married for years and I have three little siblings now - whom I love wholeheartedly as my own blood btw. So I understand what you mean 100%.
She looked disgusted when talking about how his disabilities were severe...her expression was like she smelled rotten food or asked for soy and got whole milk or something
That's not concern, it was straight up disgust and regret.
*has millions of dollars and access to the best medical treatments in a country where people die because they can’t afford their medicine* “We just don’t think we’re equipped to handle these disabilities”
Yup!!!
exactly!!! and they genuinely don't regret it! It was all for the cameras lmao. James has hearted so many comments saying they don't give a crap about the drama and just happy he's back I-
they could have hired a personal caretaker for "Bear" and still afforded that house but that would be against their aesthetic.
we stan a king who blurs out the children’s faces to give them the respect and privacy they deserve ❤️
Every drama/comentary channel has done the same, I'm so glad they respected the kids (not only Bear but also the biological kids who lost a sibiling) and tried to save the little privacy they have left...
I hate family channel so much
Right?
All babies look the same 😭
@@harrybrown9374 not really no
Yeah but he missed the name a few times. Turns out the babies name is Huxley
they DUCKTAPED his hand... that’s literally abuse
ive also seen a video about him being yelled at by Myka and then already holding his arm out as if she was gonna hit him. and then they made it about sensory help for him like squeezing. like no lady, I'm sure yáll abused him. poor kiddo
@@kentonrune6621
I can't belive a practicing nurse who has a disabled child wouldn't at least learn a little bit about the disability.
I almost hope she looses her license to practice
Why would they duct tape his hand? Sensory issues? Punishment ?
Amanda Anderson I think it was to stop him sucking his thumb, I think that method is disgusting, they should have researched other ways that are more effective
a little sock would have worked fine too
I can't explain why, but hearing them verbalize how little theyprioritize his speech therapy and how they put him to bed early to spend time with their other children crushes my soul. I hope he's happy and healthy and LOVED wherever he is.
He was obviously a difficult child. I dont blame them.
@@valkyriesshieldthey are to blame??? they adopted a disabled child for brownie points and gave him up the moment it backfired??
@@valkyriesshieldthey’re disgusting
"she looks like an advertisement for christian mums against serving looks" i am wHEEZING
Absolutely *THE* line of the video, and as it's a Tom Harlock video that's saying *loads* 😂💕
Why Would He Say Something So Controversial Yet So Brave?
guys subscribe to her channel
all 1.4k of you
I actually didnt get that.. could you explain please?sorry😅
The part seriously pisses me off was when homegirl said she let the doctors and other people’s words go in one ear and out the other.
HONESTLY. And then later "turns out there are more special needs involved than we knew" really? Or did you just not listen the first time
@@fizzycolalizzie
Doctor: hey your kid is gonna be a low functioning autistic. It's gonna be really difficult-
Mykala: **air conditioner noises**
Doctor: h....hello? I'm telling you that it might not be the best idea to adopt him... unless you've worked with special needs kids before?
Mykala: **more air conditioner noises**
That's what i imagine what that exchange was like
and so proud of herself for not listening, too
Word, homegirl sounded mad up her own ass from every clip. I know she has four kids so she thinks she knows what's up but LISTEN TO YOUR DOCTOR(S).
SAME! the moment she said it i was like ?!?!?!?!? no
As a person with autism, if my parents will make my disability about them, i will probably ask to be disowned.
Same my autism is about me, not them. They’re there to support me not act like victims.
my little brother has autism and it always pissed me off when she would pull those woe is me acts around me, like girl this isn't even about you
My little bro has autism and my mum used it for sympathy and then disowned the both of us
@@LadyDeadness that's so disgusting. I'm so sorry. I have a six year autistic son. I couldn't imagine doing that him or my two daughters.
those 'autism mom' memes...
Weren't there also posts revealed from before the adoption where Myka expressed specifically wanting to adopt a disabled child? They literally went for a disabled child to make themselves look good, but they got more than they bargained for as they had hoped it would be an easily manageable disability.
memento mori 👁️ 👄 👁️
@@justalex_28 Memento mori, friend 💀
They “didn’t know the extent of his disabilities?” That’s what it’s like when you have a child, biological or not! You don’t know how your child is going to be born and you have to prepare for it all
Exactly!! Are you giving away your biological child when it turns out to have special needs? Are you giving up on your child that has an accident or develops a serious condition? Being a parent is committing to the uncertain.
Totally agree. My child has cerebral palsy and autism, and this couples behaviour fucking disgusts me 😠 I could never ever give him up !
missionsquirrel at first I thought you were talking about your child 😭
@@EmWem omg no..i meant the people in the video. I did word it really badly!!
@@EmWem I just edited it so it's more clear, I'm glad you pointed that out😱😱
“ his new mom has professional medical training.”
SO, LIKE A NURSE?!
That part killed me because Myka said she could handle it because of HER medical training!! Like bish what?!?!
“His new mom has professional patience training, that I clearly was missing”
Exactly!!!
considering how "smart" Myka is, she probably asked "You know CPR?" and when she got a yes she was most likely "Medical training, yay."
Tom protected "bear's" identity better than they did
Absolutely
I agree
missed one though on the statement form the lawyers
@@pokeyswan5563 why on earth would you point that out then?!?!?! If the whole point is to protect the identity of that child? If you hadn’t pointed it out maybe nobody would have noticed
Yes he.did
I have watched this video several times, and there is something so… CATHARTIC about Tom’s laughter at 19:55. It’s like someone in the room is being brutally, unapologetically honest when other people either won’t or are shocked into silence. Love you Tom 💚
They traumatized an already extremely fragile little boy. I don't have words to describe how disgusted I am.
“You done?” .... “YOU DONE?” ?!?!? She said that to a child, *a special needs child*, in a meltdown?!
Wow, such a loving and compassionate “mother” there! /s
It was even more despicable to look into the camera with attitude to say: “he’s having a meltdown” and then back to her own child with such a harsh tone “you done?” Ugh, disgusting parenting.
@@tulipsxw2 "parenting"
@Winifred Exactly. There’s so much unsaid in her “you done?”...
“You done [so I can have peace and quiet]?”
“You done [so I can get back to doing what I was doing]?”
“You done [so things can get back to the perfect image I want]?”
It’s more about her than the child. Yes, children can have big feelings, and yes they can be “inconveniencing”-but it’s important to allow the child to feel and to process and to learn how to cope with said big feelings. It’s about them in that moment and she made it about her.
Dearest Fandoms she sounds so much like those moms that throw their kids into shit they don’t want to do like Ballet so she can get all the glory when they succeed and make them feel like pure shit when they fail at something they didn’t even want to do in the first place
It's not that she's a bad mother, she's a bad person.
“Christian moms against serving looks”
I’m WHEEZING
"new forever home" -- they act as if he's a dog they don't want anymore
Yeah they might as well say he’s gone to live on a farm upstate.
a loooooot of people talk about autistic kids like they’re poorly behaved dogs, it’s awful
what an oxymoron
"middle-aged women, who think they are God's gift for loving their child" - Tom Harlock 2020
this got me roflmaoing.
in defense of parents everywhere, usually the happiness you see is genuine happiness of being a parent. I've yet to come across one that thinks they are "gods gift" cause they love their child and feel free to show the happiness they feel as a parent.
Gastone phrases like “being a mother is hardest job” don’t really help your case. Every other creature realizes it is their evolutionary role to have offspring and care for them, it’s not some saintly act.
@@JuanPJose huh? I never said that. I am a parent of two kids though and I can tell you it is difficult raising kids. Trying being sleep deprived for four straight years, lol.
Gastone yeah but it’s just part of the hardships of being alive, it doesn’t make you a saint. Most good things don’t come easily.
@@JuanPJose honestly, if you don't have kids you don't know anything about being a parent.
rip tom's cat. that's really the only thing i care about from this video.
Same tbh
same I feel rrly bad, hope he's doing well rn
RBBR saaaaaaame
Same
Same
they should be blacklisted from every adoption agency
Also, the child was not permanently re-homed- they flat out lied- people who've looked into it found out he was in fact put into the foster system. They so obviously don't care about his needs or feelings.
Jesus
That.... that is despicable. Wth!
where did you get this information? I couldn't find anything that said that
Also curious where you found out?
@@erossore8500 There's a channel I think called Without a Crystal Ball (sp?) that heavily covered this story when it first came out. I think someone who knew the family reached out to her and told her about his current living situation.
If one of their ‘biological’ children had the same disabilities would they have put them in care? Horrid people.
23:52 "... if these events happened with one if my biological kids, after all the help and after the behaviors we witnessed sadly we would have no other choice then to seek help and get their needs met"
Clearly they wouldn't. They know what they did, it's just that they don't care about Bear in particular because his not their biological baby so they don't feel "stuck" with him.
why did you put the word biological in quotes? lol aren't they biologically their children?
@@ch0o_choo That's not it. They're treating their biological children as if they are more important. Just replace the word "biological" with "our actual important kids that we love" and you pretty much get the same result.
they probably would
That's so disgusting. They literally gave that baby away because it didn't 'fit their expectations', when there's a lot of people who struggle a lot to get pregnant or have to wait several years in order to be able to adopt. These people are really trash, you know.
"his new mummy has medical, professional training" GIRL, WERE YOU NOT A REGISTERED NURSE?????
She was fired from being a nurse. That’s the best part.
Jaime Capella I saw another comment that said that she assaulted a co-worker and lost her medical license. Idk if it’s true or not but that’s what I found about it
@@jaimecapella6267 yes, allegedly the other nurse wouldnt sign off on med form. When opiates or scheduled drugs are given, or if they need to be destroyed, u need another signature as a witness. She allegedly gave someone the wrong med, and when the other nurse wouldn't sign it, she hit this girl with a medical cart or something. The other nurse was 7 mo pregnant at the time.
Looked on the Ohio Nursing Board. She had a license for about 14 months. Ended in 2013. Don't know what happened
Imagine my complete lack of surprise at hearing she is/was a nurse like.........yeah she seems like The Type. Y’all know what I’m talking about.
i love that you went into the psychology behind attachment disorders. i feel like a lot of people don’t understand or even know of it.
Fr . I feel like people don't do enough research on adoption and it honestly makes me mad because there are so many things that come with adopting that people are unaware about .
“Is the white savior complex kicking in full force?” LOL LOVE IT
@Elisa Castro the blm protests are people protesting for the rights they should already have. Shut up trump supporter, your ignorance is showing.
Elisa Castro girl 👋🏽🚪
@Elisa Castro you act as if these riots were unprovoked. when peaceful protesting leads to more violence from the police just what do you expect?? maybe look at the ones starting the violence rather than zooming in on the riots as if they're happening for the sake of it.
@@lola-qo2gf What rights are those?
@Elisa Castro As the popular saying by a white mom goes
"If my son went for some skittles and didn't return
Or played in the park and didn't return
Or reached for his license and didn't return
And his dying breath called out my name
I would burn down the damn city too"
dude if bear hurt one of their kids and that made them gave him away, that just shows that they dont see him as one of their 'real' kids. like, if one of their daughters hit their son while arguing or something, i can ASSURE you that they wouldn't put her up for adoption
1000% its just like the thumb sucking thing. They duct taped his thumbs but posted how she wished her 6/7 whatever year old daughter would never grow out of sucking her thumb
@@breana2734 that's horrifying. I can't even begin to comprehend how someone can do that to a child
Right, this mentality is literally like he is a pet instead of a child. You dont get rid of a kid for hurting a kid, but you do give away a dog for biting a kid. Theyre vile people.
@@kenistan4706 To them, he was a trophy, a part of the algorithm. They wanted children from "poor" countries that had "Easy" disabilities so they could swoop in, play heroes, milk it on youtube until he got a bit older and she was able make pregnancy/new baby content. He wasn't their child, he was their meal ticket, and that's vile.
@@breana2734 - oh I feel bad for her children. her biological children I mean. because if that's what she really said about her daughter then it's clear that she's more interested in the idea of having a "baby", and keeping them in this infant state.
the first red flag is when she said ‘we don’t care what’s wrong with him’ as if special needs are a bad thing. they’re just a difference.
Exactly! And also that they should care?? Like it’s important that you research and prepare and know how to help him be comfortable and feel loved. It’s not something you just brush aside.
Sophie Rowland i agree 100%
It’s not a bad thing, and they SHOULD care, because they will need to know about his extra needs so they can help him!! Honestly hard to believe people like this exist
Well said
When she said "it came through one ear and left through the other" i already saw it as a red flag, they're called special needs because they have special need that you need to learn and understand to be a good parent, not because you can ignore it and pretend they dont need that extra attention and extra work
looking at this with fresh eyes 2 years later... I think that they had that child taken away by CPS. There was straight up abuse in the posts, alone. Imagine what a surprise visit would have uncovered. I don't think they actually had any say in it and they lied to save face. Which makes them even more vile.
Good point
Tom is dressed like a conversion therapy pastor
As someone who has been to a conversion therapy pastor, can confirm
Dream daddy edition
AHAHDIWOQO NOOOOO
Emi DeYoung Are you alright?
tell me i’m not the only one that thought she sounded like kim k crying about her diamond earring every time she cried like that
lmao i was thinking the exact same thing
Oh my god I KNEW I knew that voice from somewhere! MIKA PEOPLE ARE DYING!
kim k had more emotion than they did
ua-cam.com/video/vNBemOQELkQ/v-deo.html
When he was crying, my big chow chow dog who was fast asleep jumped up and stared at the computer screen with the most worried look on his face, started searching for the crying baby. My neutered, male chow chow wanted to comfort that poor child as the mom sat there, passive aggressive.
Dogs deserve the world oh my god
Dogs are awesome and definetely better for emotional care than some parents...
I think neutering dogs is an abuse
That dog is a better parent than those parents would ever be.
80386 nope it’s not because there is more abuse with the MANY puppies they will make and the aggression and spraying that they have without neutering
"Respecting our son's privacy"
They said after 2 to 3 yrs filming ...
😬😩😧
i just can’t believe she actually said “non-returnable”. like what are the goddamn ODDS
fr thoo
She just UPS’d her fucking child
I wonder if the delivery costs to return him were free 😬
Almost like she thought about this before habd
Well technically she didn't return him, she passed him down the line instead. MOTHER OF THE YEAR IS A LADY OF HER WORDS!
"They met on OK cupid" ohh makes sense, they were destined to be bad parents from the start.
LMAOO
Damn 😂😂😂😂😂
💀
lol
More like OK stupid
That clip of this woman pulling down her shady ass sunglasses and asking “are you done” fully enraged me. That’s not how you deal with a child let alone one who happens to have special needs , he wasn’t having a fit he was having a meltdown(correct me if that’s the wrong term) , you do not be ‘sassy’ in that situation you try your best to comfort that child? I’m 15 and seems to understand that more than this like 35 years old couple??
Are you done?
Im 15 and autistic and so is my brother. Your correct comfort is the best you can do most of the time unless you know the child well enough to know what the meltdown is about.... Which she should have been trying to do but shes just lazy i guess
@@naj4261 Twat
Account not in Use Loads of people with autism can’t even control that they have meltdowns, who would wanna choose to feel like that anyways? They’re not purposeful
NaJ ?! I don’t think any of us are done. Cuz I don’t think most of us are good with child abuse? But if you are, good for you. 😁 Go watch Myka some more.
This strikes a really strong cord with me. My family adopted my four younger siblings from Asia. One of my little brothers has sever autism. He has been one of the greatest blessings of my life. As I listened to this story, I just kept thinking him. My heart aches for this little boy and the mistreatment he endured.
I'm autistic and to see that little boy's hand duct taped made me so angry. Myka asking "Are you done?" like he's throwing a tantrum did as well. Meltdowns are not something that can be turned off. They are NOT tantrums. Treating meltdowns in the same way one would treat a tantrum is idiotic. Meltdowns can be from a variety of things, an example would be being over stimulated, but they can be caused by more than that. Tantrums are kids screaming in the store because they didn't get a cookie.
There's a huge difference and my mother can tell the difference between when I'm having a meltdown or throwing a fit. Which granted, has subsided in recent months. But due to being more on the maturity level of a young teenager when I'm nineteen, they happen.
Also, Bear's hand was likely duct taped so he wouldn't stim, which for those who don't know is the act of self-soothing in autistic people. Even autistic adults stim. It's a natural method for us to calm ourselves down and is found in the majority of autistic folks. A lot of children in particular can have damaging stims, like head banging or biting. In which case you're supposed to redirect the child to a safer stim such as petting a stuffed animal. Let's say Bear stimmed by pinching himself but instead of redirecting him, James and Myka instead duct taped his dominant hand so he couldn't do it.
Bear will be traumatized forever and will never understand why. He was so little that he won't remember, but there will be underlying trauma in him for the rest of his life. I just hope to God that his REAL family is treating him better because he is probably so confused! Myka and James were not his parents, they NEVER were. They essentially fostered Bear for two years, exploited his nationality and disability for monetary gain and when it got too challenging, they got rid of him. Myka said she basically ignored the doctors and social workers that warned her and James about Bear's autism. She didn't listen for a very simple reason - she didn't care to.
Myka and James wanted to be seen as saints for taking in an autistic Chinese toddler. They never would have been because they didn't give a damn about his disability or him. Even if they didn't return him, the abuse would have come out. And yes, duct taping a child's hand is abuse. So is separating your adopted child from your biological children. It's parental favoritism and is extremely damaging on both ends.
Now, their other children will live with the fear of being sent away. They will be confused as to where Bear went, especially the little one around Bear's age because they were probably thick as thieves. They will know forever that their parents didn't want Bear, even if they themselves wanted him. The children that still live with Myka and James will also be damaged from their actions. It's not like it was too hard after a week, which is still no excuse. It was two years, all of the kids involved lived together for a long time in the eyes of children.
Myka and James psychologically fucked at least four children in this process. Not including the baby that wasn't even a year old when Bear was sent away! They not only fucked up a child who had enough going on to begin with, they fucked up their own children.
I hope that all of the kids get psychiatric care to deal with this. Maybe Myka and James will spend good money on their "real" children.
I'm autistic too and I stim by rocking. I don't know why it calms me down but it does.
I have autism and sucked my thumb to the age of 7-8 maybe, my parents didn't know I had autism and they would try things to make me stop. Bad tasting nail polish stuff, tell me horror stories of people with deformed teeth, tying the arms of my sweater together so I couldn't get my hand to my mouth and bribe me with toys. They were bad parents for many many reasons but there is no way they would ever think of taping my hands.
@@MyPineappleDream Did your parents change their ways as you grew older?
Exactly. I used to have meltdowns, I have adhd and anxiety that I’ve had since I was a small child. Because if this, I used to get really overwhelmed, having meltdowns that felt like panic attacks to me, but looked like excessive crying to everyone else. They were terrifying, and luckily my parents recognized it, and I got medication. I can’t imagine how this poor child is feeling, especially since he’s unable to express how he’s feeling in a way that most of us understand. I hope that his new parent(s) treat him well and he finally has a good life :(
@@MyPineappleDream Sucking your thumb does deform your jaw over time (especially as a child), you might want to get into mewing if you're jaw has become narrow, slanted or if you have crooked teeth
As someone who is adopted, this is absolutely disgusting. Growing up, I used to think that my biological family just didn't want me, even though my parents did a fantastic job of raising me and explaining everything to me. My bio mom was 15 years old and her mom was on drugs, so logically, that's no place to raise a child. Even with that knowledge I still had to deal with feelings of rejection and confusion. Throw in severe autism and being from another country, I can't imagine what poor Bear must be going through. His comprehension level is not able to handle it and these terrible people just caused him years of unnecessary suffering. I pray that child is finally with a loving and suitable family.
you're right this is terrible
t The first five years of a child’s life are what forms their base personality. He may not remember them, but the way he was treated and how it made him feel will likely have a lasting affect on his psyche.
t yeah he’s just a child...but he’s also a child with autism. This really might have set him back a lot. Consistency is extremely important for children with autism. Consistency was thrown out the window when he was rehomed :\
What's worse is that he has mild RAD which means he has trouble connecting with people ( but it was obvious he connecting with his new mom)and they just threw him back.
@t even traumas happening at the age of a newborn have lasting effects. Just because the child does not have the visual memories or the ability to explain what happened it doesn’t mean their body and psyche doesn’t remember the traumatic experience and cause defensive mechanisms, disorders etc. as a reaction to that.
Normal parents when their child is upset: it’s okay, let me help you
Myka: aRe yOu dONe?
My parents: Are you hurt? No okay then get over it
My parents are also Myka
Normal parents? Myka is “normal parents” lmaooo (Only referring to “are you done?”)
There ain't nothin "normal" about Skankerella Stauffer
Kathy Bates dismissing you child's emotions as just melodrama that you wait out, while unfortunately common, isn't normal parenting
They wanted to make sure the child they adopted was foreign so it was clear, when all the children were together, which one the adopted one is. Then it gives her attention forever. If it's just another blonde child they adopted then nobody would really know when they're out shopping at the grocery store.
When an autistic child gets in trouble or you yell at them, it’s honestly like the end of the world for them. They even apologize as many times until you forgive them. These “parents” did soo many things wrong, omg I want to scream!
That is an inacurate oversimplification. In this instance I think disapointing your new parents when you were raised in care would be more impactful on an adopted autistic child.
Many autistic children do feel more strongly about a lot of things, like loving their favourite toy. However when it comes to transgressions often they either are unable to see how much it affects other people or don't recognize that the adult views it as a reflection of a much larger issue.
Often other people, especially adults, assume maliciouse intent when many things are genuine accidents. As many autistic people struggle to communicate & put themselves in other people shoes, they are unable to understand why the angry adult is overreacting. The adults often assume the child is thinking & perceiving things in the same way but is unwilling to calmly discuss the incident to find out the truth. The irony of neurotypical people being unable to put themselves in the shoes of neurogivergent people is an irony lost of the majority.
Horribly too many people are focused on moderating a child's behaviour rather than making the child suffer the smallest amount possible. This affects all children but obviously affects those with special needs, like those with autism, to an even greater degree.
Also many autistic children are precocious, so if an adult is telling them off for a small transgression, they may not view it as a huge event, especially in the grand scheme or everything that distressed them that day. As the adult knows to be consistent, doesn't want to have a slippery slope of poor behaviour etc, the autistic child might just be confused as to why the adults is overreacting to this mild thing, when there are much larger problems in the world.
The fact that the majority of autistic people struggle to show appropriate emotions means some blank faced kids apologizing itsn't received well by adults as they assume the kid isn't taking the situation seriously, even though they are. So the adult ramps the drama up a notch to convay the gravity of the situation. Which either confuses the child more why the adult is overreacting, or feels indigent that their punishment is too harsh for the crime. Or they are scared by the adult & upset but as they don't show it is neurotypical ways the adults don't realize. Often the kid will appear to suddenly react angrily or appear to suddenly get very upset, which for the adult may be confusing but considering the explination I just gave is actually perfectly logical & understandable.
Finally I agree these parents did many many maaaany things wrong. The fact that they didn't even contact the parents of autistic children, or autistic people who are able to communicate, but just asked a Dr or two, who often have no idea about the day to day reality of having a disability, is the first red flag in a line of warning flags.
my little sisters autistic and has dravet syndrome and seeing parents like this breaks my heart. autistic children/ppl r so precious and sweet and if u cant take care of one dont. they dont deserve any of that 💔 takind care of a child with special needs is harder than you think 😔💔
That’s so true! My sister when she gets told off her heart breaks and she apologises until she knows my parents forgives her and her autism is very mild
And I thought The ACE Family was bad. Christ.
You should check out 8 passengers. They manage to be just as bad as the stauffers, if not worse.
@@adhdhikaru I've seen a video about them. Absolutely disgusting.
Hikari Tome yeah honestly I can’t name a family channel that doesn’t suck
@@avery1504 If family channels would just stick to being an Instagram story and not try to make entire videos about their children's lives, they would be great.
I wonder if ppl can go to gofundme n ask for a refund
“James a man with no hair and less charisma” 💀
LMFAOOO
Luv that burrrrrrrn
just murdered the man 💀
It is truly disgusting. My almost four year old brother has autism, and my mum - a single mum who also has been diagnosed recently with autism and ADHD - is educating herself SO MUCH, researches everything, hearing from professionals, and so on. She is raising him perfectly, and it’s so difficult watching these guys videos treating their ‘son’ like this ...
Tom laughing at people's apologies adds years onto my life
when she said “the medical professionals said he needed a different fit,” that gave me HARD abuse vibes
Yeah “a different fit” means you need to treat your child better. Not abandon them???
Tom cares more about Bear’s privacy than this family
I wonder what they would’ve done if one of their biological children was born with autism. I hope they’re never allowed to ever adopt again.