"The illogical part is crucial. If they're still logical afterwards, you'll be facing assault charges." -Me, currently serving 2 months for attempted homicide instead of 1st degree murder for not following Watermelon Neck Chop directions properly.
Never in my life did I think I’d sit through an entire video of a man cutting a watermelon. Now I have. I feel better about life now. Thank you Sensei.
The baby sword was forged by a family of neanderthals about 100 years ago, AND was made for you personally? DAMN, DICKEM! Man's looking Fiiine for his age!
Larry not only taught this ol white boy how to properly cut a watermelon. But he took me back in time about 20 years when videos had this much soul put in em. God bless you sir!
2:04 You should have caressed her and then reached around back and made sure it feel good back there and then reached around to the front. She wouldn’t have asked anymore questions 😂 Larry Dickey out here saving marriages.
I was lost. Adrift in a sea of ineptitude of my own making. I never understood the proper technique for cutting watermelon. I thought surely I didn't need to know. How often could it be useful? Right?? My brothers, I stand before you a new man. Forged in the fires of this holy Dojo. My grades went up, my relationship became healthier, my taxes went down, and most importantly I have perfect cuts of watermelon. This could be you, too, if you let Sensei Dickem into your life to help mold you into a better man.
At first I had my doubts whether this guy was a real samurai but then I saw he was sporting black Crocs and knew he had to be legit. No further questions asked, thank you for the masterful lesson Sensei 🙏
It’s impressive that Neanderthals made a baby sword a 100 years ago knowing it would eventually be needed by THE Larry Dickem in order to cut a watermelon. Not that Larry Dickem needs a baby sword to cut a watermelon, but it’s still a nice sword.
@@NelsonTexas1 I assume they were prophet Neanderthals of some kind that could tell the future... and also time travel? I don't think about it, I just praise it. 😆
You hear Cartoon Network was sold by WB the other day? Cuz Suicide Squad lost SOO much money. Pray that Adult Swim even stays around, friend 😢 they sold Looney Tunes IP as well!! Among others….
Sensei, i shall dedicate my life to the ways of the baby sword, even though i couldnt get one from the far east, had to go to dollar general. Cause i too love watermelon. Hiiiyyyyaaahhh!
Unfortunately I do not have a mini sword forged by neanderthals, but with this knowledge I will finally know how to properly cut a watermelon and maybe convince my wife to come back. Thank You Larry
"Now you have two halfs of the half." and my dumb ass has been calling them quarters throughout the years. 🤦🏽♂️. I have also been calling those squares "triangles". I learned so much from this video.
"He is rendered immobile, illogical, and not a factor in yo' life."
Now that is a terrific line.
Does this work on baby mamas too?
In yo life***
What in the black dynamite, boon docks, did I just find? I'm dyin, hell yeah
"The illogical part is crucial. If they're still logical afterwards, you'll be facing assault charges."
-Me, currently serving 2 months for attempted homicide instead of 1st degree murder for not following Watermelon Neck Chop directions properly.
Best part is he actually taught you how to cut the watermelon. It wasn't just a joke sketch.
Plus those swift hand movements. The work of a master indeed 🤣
My brotha ain't no joke
That mf blade was crafted from the far east
@themidnightlycan8116 ...correction... It's a BABY SWORD
Facts
I thought the same thing. "Yep, that's how you do it "🤣🤣🤣
This man knows what the internet wants.
A skillful reply
This is the man the internet needs.
Top tier comedy gold right here!!!!!
Iv never seen a person deliver for the internet like this person
This reminds me of the YT we fell in love with 15 years ago. We miss you OG YT.
“By a family of Neanderthals about 100 years ago” 😂😂😂
The whole family worked on it😂
Made specially for him.
Eating watermelon without setting his cigarette down. You sir, earned my sub. 🍉
He is a true master of smoking.
🙌🏼
Exactly 😂
Got my sub as well lmao. Gotta use that baby knife made in the far East by Neanderthals lmao. Too fucking funny
No shit... as a smoker, i'm not even sure how he did that. 😂
I don't care about cutting watermelons; but when I see a name like "Larry Dickem", I know the quality of my life is about to improve.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Lol
😂
Hahahaha!! Right?!! 😂
"Watermelon, the black man's strawberry" I can't even right now
Eating watermelon right now too.
it's the black man's ice cream but strawberry makes sense i guess
I can 🃏🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣✌️
@@xChimkin😂😂😂😂
See I didn't know that before but now I know, and knowing is half the battle
These Dickem tutorials have changed my life. So inspiring.
🤣😂🤣😂
I can no longer just say Watermelon, now it’s Delicious Watermelon.
I will join you in this journey.
The watermelon neck chop was clean though 😂😂😂
That seems like the most important step
That was most impressive.
He did that smooth AF 😂
That took me OUT 😂😂🤣😂🤣🤣
Impressive to say the least.
Larry Dickem single handedly unifying america. A true motherfuckin patriot.
I didn’t find this video. It found me. It saved me. And now I’ll be alright with my new found watermelon chopping skills.
Allegedly 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Video found me as well. I was in dire need of a stress reliever, thank you Larry Dickem!
I love Larry Dickem, Karate Man Extrardinaire and Melonologist. A man for the times. Thank you Larry.
It looks like this channel is FINALLY getting some traction. And every single video is PURE GOLD.
Lets keep it going like and comment
"No longer a factor in your life" is low key a solid one liner.
I saw the cigarette and immediately knew that the situation was under control and the wisdom would be flawless.
😅 good one, lol
Never in my life did I think I’d sit through an entire video of a man cutting a watermelon. Now I have. I feel better about life now. Thank you Sensei.
I Know, huh? 😂
Yeah exactly funny shit right there.
@@johnkolinoff8591it's what UA-cam was meant for.
This single video is just a small portion of what 2012 UA-cam was like.
@@AutismoGamer 👍👍
@@johnkolinoff8591 🫥
The baby sword was forged by a family of neanderthals about 100 years ago, AND was made for you personally? DAMN, DICKEM! Man's looking Fiiine for his age!
He is literally showing people that you can make good money off of doing what you love. I'm happy for him.
Don’t be afraid of the man who practices 1000 different kicks, be afraid of the man who practices the watermelon neck chop 1000 times.
(Bruce Lee)
It's true he really said it 😧😧
(Word on the streets)
😂😂😂
hey, wait a minute...I thought it was Sun Tzu who said that... 🤔
😂😂😂😂😂
This feels like it could have been an episode of black dynamite 😂
DY NO MITE
DY NO MITE
😂 oms
Or a SNL sketch by Damon Wayans 😂
Homie seems like a Boondocks character to me
@@thataintfalc0 Bushido Brown at an early age LOL
I am going to be using this for educational purposes at work. No one else seems to be able to figure it out. Thank you Larry Dickem.
Very enjoyable educational videos
Larry not only taught this ol white boy how to properly cut a watermelon. But he took me back in time about 20 years when videos had this much soul put in em. God bless you sir!
Love all your videos!
Welcome to the dojo!
2:00 my wife walked up behind me and asked why I was watching a video of a guy feeling up a watermelon 😂
😂
I questioned my self why I watching
2:04 You should have caressed her and then reached around back and made sure it feel good back there and then reached around to the front. She wouldn’t have asked anymore questions 😂 Larry Dickey out here saving marriages.
😂😂🤦♂️
😂
I don't know why this just popped up. I've never heard of this guy before. Little did I know that I needed his wisdom in my life....
I just got here, and never knew I needed this. For once the algorithm is in my favour
Real talk!!!
i saw a guy reacting to one of his old videos and i lost it, been watching random clips from him ever since, he's great.
It’s the spiritual aspect of Sensei Dickem’s teachings that I appreciate the most.
I was lost. Adrift in a sea of ineptitude of my own making. I never understood the proper technique for cutting watermelon. I thought surely I didn't need to know. How often could it be useful? Right??
My brothers, I stand before you a new man. Forged in the fires of this holy Dojo. My grades went up, my relationship became healthier, my taxes went down, and most importantly I have perfect cuts of watermelon.
This could be you, too, if you let Sensei Dickem into your life to help mold you into a better man.
This is what UA-cam was made for ❤ Just great, funny content 😂 This was great! Kinda wanna join that Dojo!!!!
At first I had my doubts whether this guy was a real samurai but then I saw he was sporting black Crocs and knew he had to be legit. No further questions asked, thank you for the masterful lesson Sensei 🙏
We gotta get the word out about Larry Dickem.. This man should have millions of subscribers.. This is the best thing I've seen on UA-cam in years..
Pure gold, honestly.
That’s a damn fine baby sword, sensei Dickem.
It is one of a kind. Unduplicatable.
@@larrydickemwe should all be so lucky to have a baby sword like that one day. Perhaps one day we will. Till the. All we can do is hope.
@BCSC0825 I dunno man, hot take but I think how you use the baby sword is what's important, not which subspecies of homosapien forged it...
@@roryross3878Spoken like someone who has a bad baby sword. 🍼 Maybe if you polish your sword it will grow better? 🗡️
When I woke up today I didn’t even know that today I would learn the proper technique for cutting a water punkin. Thank you Larry Dickem!
Complete with oriental background music! Priceless!
When Larry Dickem showed up, Chuck Norris started eating watermelon whether he wanted to or not.
😅😅😅😅😅😅
Larry and Chuck head to head,battle of the titans 😅
When everyone else celebrate Chuck Norris' birthday, Chuck celebrates Larry Dickem
One of Denzels best performances. I almost didn’t notice it was him.
"... And not a factor in Your Life." 🔥 PRIORITIES!
This is my new favorite thing I have seen. Sensei Larry you are a great instructor. I will learn from you and teach my children of your ways.
It’s impressive that Neanderthals made a baby sword a 100 years ago knowing it would eventually be needed by THE Larry Dickem in order to cut a watermelon. Not that Larry Dickem needs a baby sword to cut a watermelon, but it’s still a nice sword.
“Ima teacher…as well as a killa.”
Too fucking funny!😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
Love's some boneless jungle ham. 😂
aye yooo!! LoL
I'm stealing this😂
We used to call them nigga apples & I love them too.
Omfg dood 😂
JUNGLE HAM!? 😭 *Toss phone across yard*
Pff hahah
No idea I needed to see this man purr like a seal while cutting watermelon with a baby sword made by Neanderthals 100 years ago. Thank you, sensi.
100 years ago just for him😅 what?!
@@NelsonTexas1 I assume they were prophet Neanderthals of some kind that could tell the future... and also time travel? I don't think about it, I just praise it. 😆
A baby sword 😂😂😂
Holy crap. This is great!!!
3:24 This is hilarious. Dude wearing a gee smoking a cig and eating watermelon.
And crocs
True badass
Add that the cigarette wasn't lit and it's slightly funnier
He did all 3 at the same time. A true master.
Halarious and informative. 😂😂
“The black man’s strawberry” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I laughed, I cried…. Laughing and I learned how to cut a watermelon. Life is complete. Thank you Master Larry.
That Robert Downey Jr again bringing the thunder of tropical watermelon 🤟👽🤓🎬
Thank you sensei!
"Bout a hundred years ago...." 😂
For him personally...how old is this guy?
@@Voodoo_Robot he's a time traveler
It's like the guy stepped straight out of an episode of the Boondocks and into a custom built dojo
Made with techniques he learned in the Far East lol
Everyone better respect that this knife was built 100 years ago specifically for Larry! ✊️
“A baby sword…” 🤣🤣🤣 that freaking sent me.
That’s what I call quality content! 😂
0:44 Today I have this.....you didn't know I had this shid up in dere did ya? 😆🤣
I really didn’t. 🤣
Did he say that? I couldn’t tell when I actually watched the video
Please put this dude on Adult Swim 😂
He's like a much calmer Black Dynamite
You hear Cartoon Network was sold by WB the other day? Cuz Suicide Squad lost SOO much money.
Pray that Adult Swim even stays around, friend 😢 they sold Looney Tunes IP as well!! Among others….
Why, so the videos can get worse?
Hell no. With some backing, funding and studio support I can only imagine how good This can be!!
DICKEM DOWN!!
Definitely get an Eric Andre show vibe from this guy but in his own amazing style. Would 100% watch his show
This brings me back to the 80s when everything made sense.
This video made my morning. God bless yoi.
Full length Leonard Washington, Chappelle Show World Series of Dice, spin off...perfection.
I didn't even watch past 0:03 and it's already the funniest video on the UA-cam's.
Dude, that is what I thought as well.
AYE😂, SAY IT AGAIN.
Bro get off my wavelength 😂😂😂😂😂
Same! I made it like 12 - 13 seconds in and had to pause to share it with two people and add it to my watch later LMFAO
I thought it was just me 😂🤣 this muthafucka is HA-LARIOUS 🤣😂
Larry Dickem is easily the strongest name ever spoken.
Coming from me that eats 3 watermelons per week during season, I love everything about this instructional video.
Holy shit. This is comedy gold
Larry Dickem and his homemade dojo 😂😂😂😂😂😂 im done bro 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 shared out subbed liked
Baby sword made specifically for me by Neanderthals 150 years ago. I love it
“A baby sword” I lost it 😂
🤔 I wonder if he could teach me how to cut a Jive Turkey for Thanksgiving😅
😂😂😂
😂
😂😂😂😂😂best comment of all!!!
😂
Sensei, i shall dedicate my life to the ways of the baby sword, even though i couldnt get one from the far east, had to go to dollar general. Cause i too love watermelon. Hiiiyyyyaaahhh!
How did this get into my algorithm? And why did it take so long!? 😂😂😂😂
Larry is exactly what this world needs right now!
Posted a day ago? Instant UA-cam classic
Ooookkkaaayyyyyy.... I was mad! I'm like, Why so little likes, this shits hilarious!!!!?????
Unfortunately I do not have a mini sword forged by neanderthals, but with this knowledge I will finally know how to properly cut a watermelon and maybe convince my wife to come back. Thank You Larry
Its ok you’ll be able to go to Walmart to get some bullshit 😂
@@MatMurdoc96😂😂😂
@@MatMurdoc96RIGHT! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 It's gonna work, though...😂😂😂
Amen @@MatMurdoc96
Good luck!
"...and now you got da two halves of tha half" 😂
This is the funniest fucking shit I've seen in a long time! Thank you for making my one day off a week a little better. Love you my brother 😸
He's just genuinely funny. Lmao. No pranks, nothing. He could basically recreate the whole you tube in his own fashion
One of your best teachings, from your humble disciple.
The technique, the skills ,the sound effects....this is professionalism at its finest. Disney take note......😮😳👍🤣😎🙈🙊🙉😎
i love the image quality :D and i just noticed hes wearing mfing CROCS lol
Crrrazy! Whenever my day gets annoying, I come here for relief. Works every time. Thank yoouuuuiieeeep!
Best #HowToCutAWatermelon video I’ve seen yet!…And I’ve seen a few😂
It's the zen like calmness with which he delivers his wisdom that keeps me coming back. Arigato sensei Dickem!
Not the hero we want, but the hero we need. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Dude, you are hilarious!
"A family of neanderthals, about a hundred years ago" I can't XD
"the black man's strawberry" lmfao
It's so stereotypical it's hilarious 🤣🤣🤣 Bro definitely earned my subscription !
Subbed when he ate it without dropping his smoke.
The one-handed watermelon catch after throwing a punch is a fantastic power move.
The youtube algorithm strikes again and I'm not disappointed
BRUCE LEROY..😂😂😂😂
Was smoking a cigarette, started laughing, forgot to breathe. Good video. 👍
oh brother you are going places. Perfect edits, humor style, and balance playing the character and humor
Guy is GOOD! Nearly busted a gut laughing! I want more!
Another life skill learnt thanks to Larry Dickem 😂😂😂
Larry RULES!!! Protect this brotha at all cost! He's a national treasure.❤Larry, a wealth of knowledge. 😮😊
Definitely want to smoke a bowl with this dude
"Now you have two halfs of the half." and my dumb ass has been calling them quarters throughout the years. 🤦🏽♂️. I have also been calling those squares "triangles". I learned so much from this video.
This the type of comedy that's missing in today's world! 🤣🤣💀👍👍💯
Larry is an artist with that cigarette
Is this what "reverse racism" is? Fucking hell, I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe. 😂😂😂
"the black man's strawberry" 🤣🤣🤣
I know the stereotype, but that's one I had never heard before. These videos are golden.
I cannot wait until I can render mine enemies immobile, illogical, and not a factor in my daily life
🤣🤣🤣
Soon, young brotha.. Soon..