You owning up to your mistakes is very big of you. This is one of the first videos I’ve seen that shows both sides of the situation. Danielle is very blessed to have a great co parenting situation.❤️❤️❤️
Danielle is a blessed young lady she has 4 parents that love her. I can imagine how hard it would be for you and Lonnie but you making the decision to allow danny to be involved was selfless Danielle will always appreciate that. He sounds like a good man
Yessss!!!! I love this I have a 3 yr old daughter and it was extremely hard for me to learn to co parent. I was selfish I wanted her to myself but I knew she needed her dad and shes such a happy girl. I'm glad that I grew up a little bit and understood the importance he has in her life.
This story hit close to home, there is tears everywhere here. Your family is so beautiful and it's so refreshing to hear of a successful co-parenting relationship. Much love to you guys.🖤🖤
I agree never keep a child from their father and never bad mouth a child’s parent. It doesn’t hurt the parent it hurts the child. So many use the child as a bargaining tool.
Parents need to take this seriously and I don't get why so many don't! When my parents divorced I was 5 years old (sister was 2) and it was nasty. My mom never badmouthed my bio father despite him deserving it! He cheated on my mom, was abusive to her & us kids, made serious threats, and eventually kidnapped us. She would've been 100% justified in saying things that made him look bad because they were the truth! However, despite the massive amount of pain he caused the three of us, she NEVER said a bad word about him. She made sure to validate our feelings - for example, if he did something hurtful, she may say, "I'm so sorry (words/actions/whatever) made you feel sad" but never anything like "Your father was a jerk to do that. He's a nasty person." In fact even when I grew up (just turned 34) I had to repeatedly ask her how she really felt because she still didn't want to influence us against him! On the other hand, my bio father did the exact opposite. Said awful things about my mom, none of them true, and tried to turn us against her from the very beginning. Literally from the time they split onwards, he made an effort to make her look bad and turn our hearts against our mother. As a result, when I became an adult I knew never to trust him! All I had to do was ask myself which parent had MY best interests at heart & those of my sister rather than their own interests - which parent put our feelings and needs first? Mom, hands down! She encouraged a relationship with him from the beginning despite his actions & words and despite how much he hurt her and us. He encouraged parental alienation. He damaged us by doing that and she did the opposite. If my mom hadn't been such a good mother and hadn't done right by us, and had sunk to his level, no telling where I'd be now! It hurt enough that he did it, but at least we had one good parent to model ourselves after and to trust.
Except when the kid/s keep coming back with bruises on their faces and exhibiting problems with biting, spitting and humping their siblings backs when they returned from a visit with their dad and step siblings, something happened and they refused to admit to anything so I stopped letting visits happen. These are my issues and questioned the father and his girlfriend who had 3 older kids, one who was 16 and got a 12 year old pregnant, second oldest was 13 & smoking weed and running the streets in gang like fashion and the youngest was her daughter who I hadn't seen bad behavior from. But the father beat me with our 5 month old on my hip and a 1 month bun in the oven. The bruises on their faces were (I was confident) finger marks from hard open hand slaps that I was all too familiar with, but didn't think he would do that to our kids but he was in fact a loose cannon and just their crying for me was the apparent spark to his fuse. Later the boys told me they were crying to come home and he did hit them but they couldnt convey this to me at 2 years but by 4 or 5 it came up and they were very able to speak and explain some things I had questions about, but it was allegations on my part and my kids couldnt speak at the time. I knew the courts would not protect my kids due to prior experiences, so I went into hiding from him, and do not request any support from him, they are well adjusted now at 13 and 12. They know their father is violent and abusive, those other step siblings never got another chance to do whatever it was they did that prompted that unacceptable behavior from my two boys, hopefully it wasn't from their father as well.
I just want to say you’re such an amazing mother! Maybe he wasn’t ready to be a dad.. but let’s think of you, you probably weren’t either but as a mom you would do anything for your babies ❤️❤️
I think it is awesome how you & your family have worked it out. It’s really inspiring to hear about adults acting like adults and making a challenging situation work out just fine, with all parties feeling valued and respected.
I'm glad he was ok with you yelling the story. I think it's awesome that you have such a respectful relationship with each other. My husband has had great co-parenting relationships with his ex's. It was nice to see that there was a healthy way to co-parent, because that was never my experience. I think it's crappy to ask if he pays child support some people just want to know way too much that is none of their business. 🤦♀️
Wow. You are a wonderful mother. I try to see things the same way when it comes to my daughter. (She is also mixed😁 and also 15). You made the right choices. Not everyone sees how this could affect your child in the long run. I never wanted my daughter to grow up and say MY MOM, didnt let me see my dad, my dad didnt want to see me. I wanted her to grow up and say she had 2 wonderful parents. Now im married, her dad is married and we all get along just fine. People think its weird, but i think its amazing. Thanks for sharing your story
Danielle is blessed to have all of you! Lots of respect to y’all in hearing about everyone’s maturity in this situation.. Love always wins when loving hearts & level heads are involved 🥰💪💕
Thank you for sharing your story, even though there are twists, and turns, you are both doing the absolute best for your daughter. Such a positive, and inspiring co parenting vlog.
Geesh, I honestly would never dream of asking someone else if they received child support. That YOUR business only. Couples have all kinds of arrangements worked out and That’s between them. Idk, I can’t believe that people thought that you needed to answer that!! Thanks for doing this video!!
Oh girl, there were so many on community I didn't approve that wanted to know amounts and ish. The ONLY reason I addressed is because some people have made comments that he should pay 100% of travel and making suggestive comments that I was basically doing everything for him to be a dad and that is not the case.
Our LANDing Crew I totally understand! I can only imagine the types of questions people ask thinking that because you have a UA-cam channel, they deserve to know all of your business. I enjoy watching, I’ve got an almost 8 year old with moderate studio, adhd, low iq, processing delay so I can relate to so many things that you talk about ❤️
This story made me cry and so proud as a daughter and mom at the choices you made for Danielle. I wish that my parents and step parents had been able to come together in this way.
And PS your straight hair because I hadn’t made it to that part yet lol is gorgeous. I missed the live where you were talking about your new straightener. What brand is it?
I had the exact same situation with my daughter. She’s 21 now and has a beautiful relationship with her dad and is the 2nd oldest of 10 , my step son, her and my youngest daughter live with me. 3 has 3 step siblings and 3 brothers who live with her dad and 1 sister who lives with the other mom. We all came together for her grad. Xoxo
You are so totally cool! My daughter has not been in my life since I left her father 3 years ago. She was 14. She just turned 17 and we only communicate in texts. He and his family have turned her against me and I’m living a distraught life ever since. You guys are all so mature and level-headed, no BS games. God Bless you and your beautiful family ❤️
You answered my question 🙌❤ Thank you! Danielle is a lucky girl to have 4 awesome parents who loves her so much👍 It was very good of you to be sure Danielle knew her dad from she was a little girl. And you are right, sometimes some parents aren't completely ready to be a parent yet. I know a guy... His story is crazy.. He was a happy young man, teenager still, he was together with a girl, let's call her Miss A. After some months together they broke up, and he met Miss B almost the next week.. 1 month into his relationship with Miss B, he learned that Miss A actually was pregnant with his baby.. He was not ready, didn't really want kids, ever! Just when Miss A had had her baby, Miss B found out, she was actually 14 weeks pregnant, totally a shock, cos she was on birthcontroll, and was like him.. Didn't really want kids... So he was then Daddy to one baby, and over 3 months pregnant with baby number 2...when miss B was around 8 months pregnant she gave up on him, cos he wasn't ready, had his hand in the sand, and she had to take care of the baby nomather what offcourse.. So..she mood out and found a home for herself and the baby. Suddenly he had 2 babies in under 2 years.. Poor boy, he was totally overwhelmed. and his exes was a bit upset for a while.. When he became single again, Miss A wanted him to have a good relationship with their 9 month old baby, so she started to spend time with him again... And.. A little later... Miss A got pregnant with him again..🙈. And the 3. kid was born when his 1. baby was around 2 years old! So in 2 years this guy, who really had said, "I don't want kids ever", got 3 kids, a newborn, a one year old, and a 2 year old! He was blown away! it was a lot!And miss A also moved in with him again.. So, 3 kids and a girlfriend/wife.. Ta-da!. Haha😂.. But, OMG he manned up, and took care of them all.. The girlfriend moved out a few years later though .. But he took such good care of his kids, and really loved family life.. So much, that when the kids was old enough, the kids, all 3 of them moved in with him, and visited their mamas in the weekends instead.. So it was really all accidental, but ended up being the very best he ever did. He grew up really fast, and have 3 amazing young adults he is superproud of. Never any fight with the mums, so they have spent a lot of time together, being one big happy family! Life is crazy good at times, right? So even if a dad, or a mom, isn't totally ready, the can grow, and be one of the best anyway. 👌♥ It was so nice seeing pictures of Danielle from she was a baby, she still looks very much the same now. I love her, she seems to be such a funny loving girl. I can only imagine how hard it was to send her away in the summer and vacations. But it's nice to know she is safe and happy when she is there, I assume. Love from Marte in Norway 🇳🇴 🙌😄
She’s so lucky to have parents that genuinely care and get along. My parents split when I was a baby, and my mother(the custodial guardian till I was 13 or so) always trash talked my father and made him out to be a horrible guy and would keep me from him (we were never living more than an hour apart) and he’d try his best to speak highly of my mother, he always made sure I got what I needed because my mother never did. They still don’t get along and I’ve seen them in the same room a max of 5 times in my life. I moved in with my grandmother because neither parent could care for me. Having parents that got along could’ve been so beneficial to me, so I’m glad she has that experience. It’s an amazing thing and I’m sure she doesn’t take that for granted
I have been through part of your story. My sons dad made the choice to not have contact with them of and on throughout their lives but i always sayd he was welcome, he was still his dad no matter what because i knew i never ever wanted to hear them say "why did you keep our dad from us" i knew i could not look in their eyes if i would have kept him away. Now my sosn are 29 and 22 year old twins, sadly they have not seen him since my oldest turned 18. My sons are also colored, african (nigerian) -dutch. It is what it is, my sons say they have no interest in him because he can not be bothered to be interested in them and our live. In one way it is a blessing because my second son is gay and their dad is a ginormous homophobe so..... I never had to share my boys because he didn't ever ask to have them overnight, he could have, he had the right to that also in the law of my country but he made his choice. It is what it is, and yes it is sad, my sons are lucky to have an amazing granddad who went to all their graduations and sports events.
Your so right ... being apart from your kids dads doesn’t need to be as hard as anybody thinks . It’s easy to still be friends with your ex and their partner if u make everything about your kids first. I know this as I have been doing it for 8 yrs now and he can see the boys when ever he wants to but he does have them every second weekend and he has re married and has a little daughter that we all love .. so now instead of it just being about the 3 boys it’s been about all 4 kids .. and she is not that long ago turned 4 .. her needs need to be meet as well because she misses the boys when their r not their so they call each other if they need to .. or boys r 18 16 and 11 .. their is no need to fight or punish each other like most do .. I will alway but all 4 kids before us adults even tho one is not my own but she is the boys sister.. Your doing a amazing and don’t what others think do what u know is best for your kids .. keep up the good work and stay safe
I absolutely LOVE your transparency & honesty! I have a good co-parenting relationship w/ my daughter's dad too. Sometimes I love him (as her dad) & sometimes I hate him.... but all-in-all we get along.
my mom was in the same exact same situation i was just like your daughter , mixed with an all white family but my mother kept him away from me all the way until i turned 17 i met him a couple weeks ago and it made me upset because i kept thinking about how my life could've been so mych different you are such a wonderfull mom and i wish my mom would have did the same as u !
What an awesome vlog, it's good to get to know the other side of Danielle. She's truly a good kid and it shows that she is being raised by four awesome parents that love and support her, which makes her an amazing big sister.
I love how she has a relationship with both her parents that's awesome 😊💕 Thank you for doing this video, answered some questions I hadn't even thought of, now I know plenty thank you =) Also so special how Danielle has all these siblings, she's also such a caring person 😊❤💙💜 xo
I personally think it really depends on the situation. It sounds like it would have been safe for Danielle. My ex is not safe for my daughter. I was with my husband when she was born and he eventually adopted her. My ex is addicted to drugs and alcohol. He beat his ex so bad she thought she was going to die. I do believe that it is important to talk about her biological dad if she wants to. I just told her he wasn't ready to be a dad (which is hard because she has two siblings that see him). She asked for more and I just told her that he is sick and it's not a safe situation. I refuse to tell her about the violence that he put me through or her brothers mom through. She has known for two years and she doesn't ask about him. I have asked if she wants more information about him and she says no. She has a daddy (my husband) all she cares about is that she has a brother and sister other than her 2 brothers at home. It's very much situational. If it's safe for you and your child there is absolutely no reason to keep a child from their dad.
That’s so amazing. 💗 so glad you guys are working things out for your family and for Danielle. She’s def. blessed to have such an amazing mom and extended family.
I don't actually know what to say on this one, but I'm glad that you guys all get along! Everyone lives and learns and grows. 👍😊 Thanks for being honest with us.
Thank you for this vid. I am 7 years into an almost exact same story. As far as we got together i got pregnant at 18 we stopped seeing each other i got with my now husband at like 8 weeks ish pregnant when she turned a year old her dad kind of just disappeared. He came back in when she was 4 and he has been pretty active since then. We do live in the same city so she seems him every other weekend. I also have wondered if i was doing the right thing it would have been "easier" to just walk away and not have him involved but i do think im doing the right thing and you confirmed that. Love yall!
I don’t think you should feel guilty at all I think the choices we make at times is because that’s what’s best and I think you’ve done an amazing job so has her dad.you both should be very proud she’s a credit to you both.💕
Would you ever be willing to talk about how your dad feels now that he has a black granddaughter? If not, I totally understand because it is a very personal subject, but I thought I would ask.
@@OurLANDingCrew8 is that because you have a Black child? You don't have to answer if you're not comfortable. My husband is estranged from his family because they're not supportive of him being married to me (white and atheist) and they're Black and Christian, even though his grandmother is white (like blonde hair, blue eyes white), it's bizarre.
@@OurLANDingCrew8 Sorry to hear that. Maybe someday you could consider reconnecting? Do you have contact with your mother? I do not here you mention her on your videos.
My cousin sorta went through the same thing. The mother of his child was not ready or fit to be a parent she was 21 already had 2 kids and they had been taken from her on multiple occasions. With his daughter he fought for sole custody for those reasons and when he was awarded sole custody she told him “Keep her. I don’t want anything to do with her if you’re gonna have her.” Then when she was around 6 her mom decided she was ready to see her and wanted her to meet her siblings, after my cousin’s daughter she had 2 boys. She didn’t like that we wouldn’t allow her to see her privately and alone since she hadn’t seen her since she was 8 months old, so she disappeared again until she was 7 and now every time something is set up for her to see her she bails out and never responds. Her daughter has only seen her through videos she’s sent and old pictures. It hurts to hear my little cousin whose 8 almost 9 say that her mom abandoned her and even though it’s the truth I just say “she didn’t abandon you, she just wasn’t a good mommy yet, so you get to live with your dad.”
Thanks for being so honest and open. I think it's great that you all get along so well and really important for the kids to see that. My only question is whether or not your Dad has a relationship with Danielle given his opinion on black and white people? (maybe too personally, completely understand if you don't answer)
I love how co parenting has worked for you. I'm sure danielle will thank you both for the amazing childhood you've both given her. If only other people could take a leaf out of your book and do what's best for the child. Xx
I know that feeling,it's a struggle on rather or not to push them to be involved or step back,and if you say the wrong thing they run from there responsibilities..
Billie Freitas I think it’s great you’re found someone! You deserve happiness;). It’s all about what makes you happy not how others think about your relationship! Good luck 👍
I don't watch all of your videos. I used to be a subscriber lol. I saw the pictures of Danielle as a baby and thought it's so neat that your kids look so much alike.
I watched this before but I must have fell asleep lol I think it is so awesome she has a relationship with her dad but you are an awesome mom so didn't think it would be any different.
I met my husband on aol too 🤣😂🤣😂 As for the intolerance, I was warned off of dating African American people from a fairly young age... but it wasn't at all overt. And over the years I've been able to deduce the why....they had some *terrible* experiences while stationed in Germany in the army (of course, this is back when a lot of convicts were given the option of enlisting as opposed to serving time...) the race revolution had just hit k town....people *died* and one of the worst things that could happen to a woman happened to my mom with a man she was dating. The boomers don't get a lot of stuff, especially the fact that the black community is *not* a monolith. No single ethnicity is...perhaps things were once a bit more homogeneous within various communities 🤷♀️
Totally in the same boat when people question about my son and his sister being 4 months a part, we did not know each other when she got pregnant and they were already split up when he and I met and I was 2 months pregnant when we found out she was pregnant too!
This is a lot.. I’m in a somewhat similar situation and really don’t know what to do. I’m a little older (27, nearly 28) and pregnant with my first and only child. Like you, the dad and I were already separated when I found out. I’m due in May. I did tell him and he has been very, very vocal and honest about not wanting me to keep her and not wanting to be involved at all. What’s interesting is we’re both from divorce families. My dad is not my bio dad but I don’t talk to or see my bio dad; my *dad* has been a father to me always. And my baby daddy’s two sets of parents are super chill and all civil. They’re all wonderful people, some of the kindest I’ve ever met. But he doesn’t want to even tell them about the baby, and I don’t know if it’s my place to... I want them to be involved, and truth be told I wish he was too though I know I can’t force him to be. Idk. I just don’t know what to do.
Thank you so much for this story, I was in a similar situation. I became pregnant with my youngest son Zachary, his father knew about my pregnancy but he was engaged at the time and stayed away from me and got married. I felt so guilty because my husband and children didn't know anything about my situation. They were so excited when Zach came along and here in Michigan it's the same being married my husband is considered his father. John and the children loved Zach so my but the guilt was killing me so when Zach was 5 months old I told my husband and children the truth, they were amazing. Zachary's father did start to come around after blood test his wife demanded we get because of course he told her he didn't think he was the father because I slept around (the usual) anyway he would disappoint Zach all the time and my husband would step up and do everything with Zach. At 2 years old Zachary went to my husband and said "daddy I don't want Randy to be my dad I want you to be my dad and Randy can be my friend) Randy's family never had anything to do with Zach and Randy was not the man I thought he was at all. His wife came over when she found out about Zach and started making these demands ( blood test, change his name, this is the schedule for visitation) I wasn't going to have it because I knew Randy didn't want to be responsible for him and have to take care of him. When it came time to tell Zach the truth my children were on their own at the time John and I have 3 children and and our children dropped what they were doing and came right over to be here for Zach, Zach was sitting on John's lap and explained it to him and Zach covered his face and started to cry ( he was 7) my children each told him that they loved him and John did the same and told Zach I'm your father and will always be your father. I went to my room crying from the pain and guilt I had caused my family and my daughters came to my room with me Zach came in to tell us John Jr was leaving and then he looked at me and gave me a big smile I knew right then we would all be ok. Zach is now married to a wonderful woman and John ( his dad) and Zach are as close as a father and son could ever be actually from the 1st day we brought Zach home John has always been there for him. As far as Randy goes last time I talked to him Zachary was about 6 years old and Randy told me Zach will never be apart of his family and that was ok with me and when Zach was 7 he told me " I don't know anything about this man not even his name and I don't want to know, I have a dad and he'll always be my dad."
Very important thing to add, John and I have known each other all our lives and started dating at 15, we were married at 17 and we are now 61 years old with an amazing beautiful family of 4 children Michelle 42, John Jr 41. Shannon 40 Zachary 28 and 4 wonderful grandchildren.
Is not hard to believe that ya get along. My step mother and my mom get along really well. They talk on the phone for a long time, sometimes go shopping, buy stuff for each other.
Like I told you in live stream it reminds me a lot of my brother and his ex wife they have never talked bad about the other parent in front of the kids if anyone has tried then they were quick to defend the other at least on my brothers end I can’t speak for completely for my ex sister in law I don’t know how every conversation went over at her house. But they have always put my niece and nephew ahead of their selfishness and have wanted to do what was best for their kids. So I’m very proud of them for that.
I have a question , if your dad never made you break up w Danny do you think everything would be different ? you wouldn’t have met Lonnie and you would still be w Danny after having Danielle and Danny would of never had another babygirl as well. Very curious
Lmao @ Our LANDing Crew I met my husband on TAMPA BAY chat rooms on AOL LOL at 17 we are 36 now and still together . My oldest son now almost 19 i had before we met an tbh i tried to scare my husband away at that time bc i didnt wanna burden him but now almost 18 yrs later still together and my son calls him dad .love the story Steph
See I’m 22 and have never had a relationship with my birth father as at the age of 4 he left it to me to decide if I wanted that relationship,he also treated my mother incredibly badly so I instantly knew I wanted nothing to do with him, from 4 through to 22 I had nothing to do with him and a month ago he messaged me saying I had an older sister two younger sisters and a younger brother and asked could he borrow money....I just can’t deal with him.
Go show Danny some love 👉instagram.com/draylite21/
I wasn't paying attention and my headphones where in, once the music for the intro came on i almost p***** myself, lol.
I’ve been following him for awhile! I really like his instagram page. Very positive 😊
OMG this made me laugh out loud. I am so sorry. Didn't mean to creep you out
Our LANDing Crew accidentally thumbs downed and then thumbs upped. Lol.
Oh my! This is so cool I'm a Danielle named after my dad Danny! You guys are so awesome!
It’s interesting hearing about Danielle’s dad. He sounds like a nice guy! I’m glad there’s no drama with all four of you guys.
He's an amazing guy!
Danielle is so lucky to have 4 wonderful parents and congrats to you all on maintaining a great co-parent relationship.
When you said she was afraid he wouldn’t like her anymore, I immediately started crying. So thankful for you all that this story has a happy ending!
Girl. It took EVERYTHING in that part for me not to start bawling. I almost always start crying when I talk about it
Danielle s dad sounds like a great father. So glad y'all have a good and healthy co-parenting relationship. It helps the child or children so much.
It's a great feeling to know your children are surrounded by ppl who love them.
You owning up to your mistakes is very big of you. This is one of the first videos I’ve seen that shows both sides of the situation. Danielle is very blessed to have a great co parenting situation.❤️❤️❤️
Danielle is a blessed young lady she has 4 parents that love her. I can imagine how hard it would be for you and Lonnie but you making the decision to allow danny to be involved was selfless Danielle will always appreciate that. He sounds like a good man
Yessss!!!! I love this I have a 3 yr old daughter and it was extremely hard for me to learn to co parent. I was selfish I wanted her to myself but I knew she needed her dad and shes such a happy girl. I'm glad that I grew up a little bit and understood the importance he has in her life.
"Courtney would go shopping on Ebay because thats what you did back then" 😂😂
This story hit close to home, there is tears everywhere here. Your family is so beautiful and it's so refreshing to hear of a successful co-parenting relationship. Much love to you guys.🖤🖤
I agree never keep a child from their father and never bad mouth a child’s parent. It doesn’t hurt the parent it hurts the child. So many use the child as a bargaining tool.
True
Absolutely
Parents need to take this seriously and I don't get why so many don't! When my parents divorced I was 5 years old (sister was 2) and it was nasty. My mom never badmouthed my bio father despite him deserving it! He cheated on my mom, was abusive to her & us kids, made serious threats, and eventually kidnapped us. She would've been 100% justified in saying things that made him look bad because they were the truth! However, despite the massive amount of pain he caused the three of us, she NEVER said a bad word about him. She made sure to validate our feelings - for example, if he did something hurtful, she may say, "I'm so sorry (words/actions/whatever) made you feel sad" but never anything like "Your father was a jerk to do that. He's a nasty person." In fact even when I grew up (just turned 34) I had to repeatedly ask her how she really felt because she still didn't want to influence us against him!
On the other hand, my bio father did the exact opposite. Said awful things about my mom, none of them true, and tried to turn us against her from the very beginning. Literally from the time they split onwards, he made an effort to make her look bad and turn our hearts against our mother. As a result, when I became an adult I knew never to trust him! All I had to do was ask myself which parent had MY best interests at heart & those of my sister rather than their own interests - which parent put our feelings and needs first? Mom, hands down! She encouraged a relationship with him from the beginning despite his actions & words and despite how much he hurt her and us. He encouraged parental alienation. He damaged us by doing that and she did the opposite. If my mom hadn't been such a good mother and hadn't done right by us, and had sunk to his level, no telling where I'd be now! It hurt enough that he did it, but at least we had one good parent to model ourselves after and to trust.
Except when the kid/s keep coming back with bruises on their faces and exhibiting problems with biting, spitting and humping their siblings backs when they returned from a visit with their dad and step siblings, something happened and they refused to admit to anything so I stopped letting visits happen. These are my issues and questioned the father and his girlfriend who had 3 older kids, one who was 16 and got a 12 year old pregnant, second oldest was 13 & smoking weed and running the streets in gang like fashion and the youngest was her daughter who I hadn't seen bad behavior from. But the father beat me with our 5 month old on my hip and a 1 month bun in the oven. The bruises on their faces were (I was confident) finger marks from hard open hand slaps that I was all too familiar with, but didn't think he would do that to our kids but he was in fact a loose cannon and just their crying for me was the apparent spark to his fuse. Later the boys told me they were crying to come home and he did hit them but they couldnt convey this to me at 2 years but by 4 or 5 it came up and they were very able to speak and explain some things I had questions about, but it was allegations on my part and my kids couldnt speak at the time. I knew the courts would not protect my kids due to prior experiences, so I went into hiding from him, and do not request any support from him, they are well adjusted now at 13 and 12. They know their father is violent and abusive, those other step siblings never got another chance to do whatever it was they did that prompted that unacceptable behavior from my two boys, hopefully it wasn't from their father as well.
I bad talked my ex.. For the past 30 years I have paid the price dearly. He was and is a good man...a great dad. I learned to late....
I just want to say you’re such an amazing mother! Maybe he wasn’t ready to be a dad.. but let’s think of you, you probably weren’t either but as a mom you would do anything for your babies ❤️❤️
P
Nice hearing how custody stuff worked out when the child is older
How does your dad act toward Danielle???? Then and now
Yes!!!!! Need to know this!!!!!
Really thought it was sad that her dad kinda made her to end her relationship with danielle dad .
I think it is awesome how you & your family have worked it out. It’s really inspiring to hear about adults acting like adults and making a challenging situation work out just fine, with all parties feeling valued and respected.
I'm glad he was ok with you yelling the story. I think it's awesome that you have such a respectful relationship with each other.
My husband has had great co-parenting relationships with his ex's. It was nice to see that there was a healthy way to co-parent, because that was never my experience.
I think it's crappy to ask if he pays child support some people just want to know way too much that is none of their business. 🤦♀️
Wow. You are a wonderful mother. I try to see things the same way when it comes to my daughter. (She is also mixed😁 and also 15). You made the right choices. Not everyone sees how this could affect your child in the long run. I never wanted my daughter to grow up and say MY MOM, didnt let me see my dad, my dad didnt want to see me. I wanted her to grow up and say she had 2 wonderful parents. Now im married, her dad is married and we all get along just fine. People think its weird, but i think its amazing. Thanks for sharing your story
You’re an incredible mom, person, and wife. I really love your videos and getting to know you guys.
Danielle is blessed to have all of you! Lots of respect to y’all in hearing about everyone’s maturity in this situation.. Love always wins when loving hearts & level heads are involved 🥰💪💕
Thank you for sharing your story, even though there are twists, and turns, you are both doing the absolute best for your daughter. Such a positive, and inspiring co parenting vlog.
Geesh, I honestly would never dream of asking someone else if they received child support. That YOUR business only. Couples have all kinds of arrangements worked out and That’s between them. Idk, I can’t believe that people thought that you needed to answer that!! Thanks for doing this video!!
Oh girl, there were so many on community I didn't approve that wanted to know amounts and ish. The ONLY reason I addressed is because some people have made comments that he should pay 100% of travel and making suggestive comments that I was basically doing everything for him to be a dad and that is not the case.
Our LANDing Crew I totally understand! I can only imagine the types of questions people ask thinking that because you have a UA-cam channel, they deserve to know all of your business. I enjoy watching, I’ve got an almost 8 year old with moderate studio, adhd, low iq, processing delay so I can relate to so many things that you talk about ❤️
Danielle is sooooo cuteeee awwwwahh all this cutenesssss is killing meeeee 🥰😍
I Remember the talk with my Mom about my real dad.. I'm thankful for my Sept dad which I call my dad.. He is amazing
This story made me cry and so proud as a daughter and mom at the choices you made for Danielle. I wish that my parents and step parents had been able to come together in this way.
And PS your straight hair because I hadn’t made it to that part yet lol is gorgeous. I missed the live where you were talking about your new straightener. What brand is it?
I had the exact same situation with my daughter. She’s 21 now and has a beautiful relationship with her dad and is the 2nd oldest of 10 , my step son, her and my youngest daughter live with me. 3 has 3 step siblings and 3 brothers who live with her dad and 1 sister who lives with the other mom. We all came together for her grad. Xoxo
9:02 looks just like lex omg
You are so totally cool! My daughter has not been in my life since I left her father 3 years ago. She was 14. She just turned 17 and we only communicate in texts. He and his family have turned her against me and I’m living a distraught life ever since.
You guys are all so mature and level-headed, no BS games.
God Bless you and your beautiful family ❤️
You answered my question 🙌❤ Thank you! Danielle is a lucky girl to have 4 awesome parents who loves her so much👍 It was very good of you to be sure Danielle knew her dad from she was a little girl. And you are right, sometimes some parents aren't completely ready to be a parent yet. I know a guy... His story is crazy.. He was a happy young man, teenager still, he was together with a girl, let's call her Miss A. After some months together they broke up, and he met Miss B almost the next week.. 1 month into his relationship with Miss B, he learned that Miss A actually was pregnant with his baby.. He was not ready, didn't really want kids, ever! Just when Miss A had had her baby, Miss B found out, she was actually 14 weeks pregnant, totally a shock, cos she was on birthcontroll, and was like him.. Didn't really want kids... So he was then Daddy to one baby, and over 3 months pregnant with baby number 2...when miss B was around 8 months pregnant she gave up on him, cos he wasn't ready, had his hand in the sand, and she had to take care of the baby nomather what offcourse.. So..she mood out and found a home for herself and the baby. Suddenly he had 2 babies in under 2 years.. Poor boy, he was totally overwhelmed. and his exes was a bit upset for a while.. When he became single again, Miss A wanted him to have a good relationship with their 9 month old baby, so she started to spend time with him again... And.. A little later... Miss A got pregnant with him again..🙈. And the 3. kid was born when his 1. baby was around 2 years old! So in 2 years this guy, who really had said, "I don't want kids ever", got 3 kids, a newborn, a one year old, and a 2 year old! He was blown away! it was a lot!And miss A also moved in with him again.. So, 3 kids and a girlfriend/wife.. Ta-da!. Haha😂.. But, OMG he manned up, and took care of them all.. The girlfriend moved out a few years later though .. But he took such good care of his kids, and really loved family life.. So much, that when the kids was old enough, the kids, all 3 of them moved in with him, and visited their mamas in the weekends instead.. So it was really all accidental, but ended up being the very best he ever did. He grew up really fast, and have 3 amazing young adults he is superproud of. Never any fight with the mums, so they have spent a lot of time together, being one big happy family! Life is crazy good at times, right?
So even if a dad, or a mom, isn't totally ready, the can grow, and be one of the best anyway.
👌♥ It was so nice seeing pictures of Danielle from she was a baby, she still looks very much the same now. I love her, she seems to be such a funny loving girl. I can only imagine how hard it was to send her away in the summer and vacations. But it's nice to know she is safe and happy when she is there, I assume.
Love from Marte in Norway 🇳🇴 🙌😄
She’s so lucky to have parents that genuinely care and get along. My parents split when I was a baby, and my mother(the custodial guardian till I was 13 or so) always trash talked my father and made him out to be a horrible guy and would keep me from him (we were never living more than an hour apart) and he’d try his best to speak highly of my mother, he always made sure I got what I needed because my mother never did. They still don’t get along and I’ve seen them in the same room a max of 5 times in my life. I moved in with my grandmother because neither parent could care for me. Having parents that got along could’ve been so beneficial to me, so I’m glad she has that experience. It’s an amazing thing and I’m sure she doesn’t take that for granted
I have been through part of your story. My sons dad made the choice to not have contact with them of and on throughout their lives but i always sayd he was welcome, he was still his dad no matter what because i knew i never ever wanted to hear them say "why did you keep our dad from us" i knew i could not look in their eyes if i would have kept him away. Now my sosn are 29 and 22 year old twins, sadly they have not seen him since my oldest turned 18. My sons are also colored, african (nigerian) -dutch. It is what it is, my sons say they have no interest in him because he can not be bothered to be interested in them and our live. In one way it is a blessing because my second son is gay and their dad is a ginormous homophobe so.....
I never had to share my boys because he didn't ever ask to have them overnight, he could have, he had the right to that also in the law of my country but he made his choice. It is what it is, and yes it is sad, my sons are lucky to have an amazing granddad who went to all their graduations and sports events.
🤗I admire you and ur husband lanny was always supportive from day one. You 2 managed to keep strong for Danielle
Your so right ... being apart from your kids dads doesn’t need to be as hard as anybody thinks . It’s easy to still be friends with your ex and their partner if u make everything about your kids first. I know this as I have been doing it for 8 yrs now and he can see the boys when ever he wants to but he does have them every second weekend and he has re married and has a little daughter that we all love .. so now instead of it just being about the 3 boys it’s been about all 4 kids .. and she is not that long ago turned 4 .. her needs need to be meet as well because she misses the boys when their r not their so they call each other if they need to ..
or boys r 18 16 and 11 .. their is no need to fight or punish each other like most do ..
I will alway but all 4 kids before us adults even tho one is not my own but she is the boys sister..
Your doing a amazing and don’t what others think do what u know is best for your kids .. keep up the good work and stay safe
This is literally such a beautiful story and such great co parenting 😭
That’s crazy that Danielle’s dad lives in Abilene. I do too. What a coincidence.You guys are awesome.
I absolutely LOVE your transparency & honesty! I have a good co-parenting relationship w/ my daughter's dad too. Sometimes I love him (as her dad) & sometimes I hate him.... but all-in-all we get along.
Your such a real person love how your so honest and how you story time!
Thank you!
Sounds like it all worked out for the best, great job to you all.
You thought I had respect for u before, I have mad respect for u now!❤️😭
my mom was in the same exact same situation i was just like your daughter , mixed with an all white family but my mother kept him away from me all the way until i turned 17 i met him a couple weeks ago and it made me upset because i kept thinking about how my life could've been so mych different you are such a wonderfull mom and i wish my mom would have did the same as u !
What an awesome vlog, it's good to get to know the other side of Danielle. She's truly a good kid and it shows that she is being raised by four awesome parents that love and support her, which makes her an amazing big sister.
13 minutes and 20 seconds I cannot stop crying got to clear my eyes to finish watching. I'm feeling all your emotions right now.
Oh my goodness Lex looks just like Danielle 😮😮❤️
This is absolutely one of your top 5 vlogs🤗 thank you for all you have done for their relationship.
You are the most amazing person I have ever met. Thank you for being here :)
I love how she has a relationship with both her parents that's awesome 😊💕 Thank you for doing this video, answered some questions I hadn't even thought of, now I know plenty thank you =) Also so special how Danielle has all these siblings, she's also such a caring person 😊❤💙💜 xo
I'm glad that you involved him. Even though she had Lonny a father-daugter relationship is important. (If it's possible) Love u and your family❤😙
Thank you for sharing! No judgement here at all. You live and learn in life! So glad you all can co-parent very well. God Bless you all 💕💕
Thanks for sharing your story! Family is a blessing.
I personally think it really depends on the situation. It sounds like it would have been safe for Danielle. My ex is not safe for my daughter. I was with my husband when she was born and he eventually adopted her. My ex is addicted to drugs and alcohol. He beat his ex so bad she thought she was going to die. I do believe that it is important to talk about her biological dad if she wants to. I just told her he wasn't ready to be a dad (which is hard because she has two siblings that see him). She asked for more and I just told her that he is sick and it's not a safe situation. I refuse to tell her about the violence that he put me through or her brothers mom through. She has known for two years and she doesn't ask about him. I have asked if she wants more information about him and she says no. She has a daddy (my husband) all she cares about is that she has a brother and sister other than her 2 brothers at home.
It's very much situational. If it's safe for you and your child there is absolutely no reason to keep a child from their dad.
Very touching video. Thank you so much for sharing. I can feel the love.
That’s so amazing. 💗 so glad you guys are working things out for your family and for Danielle. She’s def. blessed to have such an amazing mom and extended family.
This was amazing. Thank you for sharing this story. You are a wonderful mother, don’t forget that 😉
I don't actually know what to say on this one, but I'm glad that you guys all get along! Everyone lives and learns and grows. 👍😊 Thanks for being honest with us.
All four of you seem like amazing parents.
Can you create a podcast. I’d listen to you for hours 🙌🏼
Wonderful story❤️ thank you for sharing
First off hair looks great! 2nd I am proud of you I feel like I would be so petty in this situation and you are not. Love it
Oh I have been petty. I was. But the only person that ever hurt was Danielle.
Thank you for this vid. I am 7 years into an almost exact same story. As far as we got together i got pregnant at 18 we stopped seeing each other i got with my now husband at like 8 weeks ish pregnant when she turned a year old her dad kind of just disappeared. He came back in when she was 4 and he has been pretty active since then. We do live in the same city so she seems him every other weekend. I also have wondered if i was doing the right thing it would have been "easier" to just walk away and not have him involved but i do think im doing the right thing and you confirmed that. Love yall!
You are awesome. I think Danielle looks like Lex when she was younger.
I don’t think you should feel guilty at all I think the choices we make at times is because that’s what’s best and I think you’ve done an amazing job so has her dad.you both should be very proud she’s a credit to you both.💕
Well done!! That's a hard topic to talk about because racism is such a narrow minded and foolish mindset!
💯
New to your channel after watching the what I got kids for Christmas 2022. Love your real ness. That made me subscribe
I think you did the best you could. You’re a great mom!❤️ Thanks for sharing! My 16 year olds dad is not around at all.
Would you ever be willing to talk about how your dad feels now that he has a black granddaughter? If not, I totally understand because it is a very personal subject, but I thought I would ask.
My dad and I are not in contact
@@OurLANDingCrew8 is that because you have a Black child? You don't have to answer if you're not comfortable. My husband is estranged from his family because they're not supportive of him being married to me (white and atheist) and they're Black and Christian, even though his grandmother is white (like blonde hair, blue eyes white), it's bizarre.
@@OurLANDingCrew8 Sorry to hear that. Maybe someday you could consider reconnecting? Do you have contact with your mother? I do not here you mention her on your videos.
Yes, I am in contact with my mom. She lives in Jacksonville. She was on quite a few videos.
@@Legal.Knievel
I think the reason is only religious
My cousin sorta went through the same thing. The mother of his child was not ready or fit to be a parent she was 21 already had 2 kids and they had been taken from her on multiple occasions. With his daughter he fought for sole custody for those reasons and when he was awarded sole custody she told him “Keep her. I don’t want anything to do with her if you’re gonna have her.” Then when she was around 6 her mom decided she was ready to see her and wanted her to meet her siblings, after my cousin’s daughter she had 2 boys. She didn’t like that we wouldn’t allow her to see her privately and alone since she hadn’t seen her since she was 8 months old, so she disappeared again until she was 7 and now every time something is set up for her to see her she bails out and never responds. Her daughter has only seen her through videos she’s sent and old pictures. It hurts to hear my little cousin whose 8 almost 9 say that her mom abandoned her and even though it’s the truth I just say “she didn’t abandon you, she just wasn’t a good mommy yet, so you get to live with your dad.”
Okay don’t judge me but I started crying after awhile and didn’t realize it till I couldn’t see and my tears covered my eyes
Thanks for being so honest and open. I think it's great that you all get along so well and really important for the kids to see that.
My only question is whether or not your Dad has a relationship with Danielle given his opinion on black and white people?
(maybe too personally, completely understand if you don't answer)
I am not in touch with my dad anymore. But I do want to say he loved Danielle.
I love how co parenting has worked for you. I'm sure danielle will thank you both for the amazing childhood you've both given her. If only other people could take a leaf out of your book and do what's best for the child. Xx
I know that feeling,it's a struggle on rather or not to push them to be involved or step back,and if you say the wrong thing they run from there responsibilities..
I'm daiting, I really like him but I'm scared of getting involved, like telling people. Damn anxiety.
Billie Freitas I think it’s great you’re found someone! You deserve happiness;). It’s all about what makes you happy not how others think about your relationship! Good luck 👍
Don't be so hard on yourself...I've been there you were just protecting her💜
Nope. I was being selfish.
I am proud of you that you put this on UA-cam you didn’t have to.
Two thumbs up!! We need more ppl like you all in the world.
I don't watch all of your videos. I used to be a subscriber lol. I saw the pictures of Danielle as a baby and thought it's so neat that your kids look so much alike.
Love the crib in the back of the video you are a great mom
I watched this before but I must have fell asleep lol I think it is so awesome she has a relationship with her dad but you are an awesome mom so didn't think it would be any different.
I met my husband on aol too 🤣😂🤣😂
As for the intolerance, I was warned off of dating African American people from a fairly young age... but it wasn't at all overt. And over the years I've been able to deduce the why....they had some *terrible* experiences while stationed in Germany in the army (of course, this is back when a lot of convicts were given the option of enlisting as opposed to serving time...) the race revolution had just hit k town....people *died* and one of the worst things that could happen to a woman happened to my mom with a man she was dating. The boomers don't get a lot of stuff, especially the fact that the black community is *not* a monolith. No single ethnicity is...perhaps things were once a bit more homogeneous within various communities 🤷♀️
8:59 OMG she could be Lex's twin! You can definitely see the family resemblance.
Totally in the same boat when people question about my son and his sister being 4 months a part, we did not know each other when she got pregnant and they were already split up when he and I met and I was 2 months pregnant when we found out she was pregnant too!
You should write a book about your life
It would be a best seller... Maybe I can call it "Hot Mess Mama" LOL
You acted mature 'bout the whole situation..... If I was on your shoes I would've acted differently.
This is a lot.. I’m in a somewhat similar situation and really don’t know what to do. I’m a little older (27, nearly 28) and pregnant with my first and only child. Like you, the dad and I were already separated when I found out. I’m due in May. I did tell him and he has been very, very vocal and honest about not wanting me to keep her and not wanting to be involved at all. What’s interesting is we’re both from divorce families. My dad is not my bio dad but I don’t talk to or see my bio dad; my *dad* has been a father to me always. And my baby daddy’s two sets of parents are super chill and all civil. They’re all wonderful people, some of the kindest I’ve ever met. But he doesn’t want to even tell them about the baby, and I don’t know if it’s my place to... I want them to be involved, and truth be told I wish he was too though I know I can’t force him to be. Idk. I just don’t know what to do.
Thank you so much for this story, I was in a similar situation. I became pregnant with my youngest son Zachary, his father knew about my pregnancy but he was engaged at the time and stayed away from me and got married. I felt so guilty because my husband and children didn't know anything about my situation. They were so excited when Zach came along and here in Michigan it's the same being married my husband is considered his father. John and the children loved Zach so my but the guilt was killing me so when Zach was 5 months old I told my husband and children the truth, they were amazing. Zachary's father did start to come around after blood test his wife demanded we get because of course he told her he didn't think he was the father because I slept around (the usual) anyway he would disappoint Zach all the time and my husband would step up and do everything with Zach. At 2 years old Zachary went to my husband and said "daddy I don't want Randy to be my dad I want you to be my dad and Randy can be my friend) Randy's family never had anything to do with Zach and Randy was not the man I thought he was at all. His wife came over when she found out about Zach and started making these demands ( blood test, change his name, this is the schedule for visitation) I wasn't going to have it because I knew Randy didn't want to be responsible for him and have to take care of him. When it came time to tell Zach the truth my children were on their own at the time John and I have 3 children and and our children dropped what they were doing and came right over to be here for Zach, Zach was sitting on John's lap and explained it to him and Zach covered his face and started to cry ( he was 7) my children each told him that they loved him and John did the same and told Zach I'm your father and will always be your father. I went to my room crying from the pain and guilt I had caused my family and my daughters came to my room with me Zach came in to tell us John Jr was leaving and then he looked at me and gave me a big smile I knew right then we would all be ok. Zach is now married to a wonderful woman and John ( his dad) and Zach are as close as a father and son could ever be actually from the 1st day we brought Zach home John has always been there for him. As far as Randy goes last time I talked to him Zachary was about 6 years old and Randy told me Zach will never be apart of his family and that was ok with me and when Zach was 7 he told me " I don't know anything about this man not even his name and I don't want to know, I have a dad and he'll always be my dad."
Very important thing to add, John and I have known each other all our lives and started dating at 15, we were married at 17 and we are now 61 years old with an amazing beautiful family of 4 children Michelle 42, John Jr 41. Shannon 40 Zachary 28 and 4 wonderful grandchildren.
Is not hard to believe that ya get along. My step mother and my mom get along really well. They talk on the phone for a long time, sometimes go shopping, buy stuff for each other.
Wow! So glad yall are co parenting still! So emotional got me crying and all! Dainelle has so much love in her life!
Great Video. Very Informative
I love ur laugh, great video!
Love your hair straight!!!
Like I told you in live stream it reminds me a lot of my brother and his ex wife they have never talked bad about the other parent in front of the kids if anyone has tried then they were quick to defend the other at least on my brothers end I can’t speak for completely for my ex sister in law I don’t know how every conversation went over at her house. But they have always put my niece and nephew ahead of their selfishness and have wanted to do what was best for their kids. So I’m very proud of them for that.
Also to add I now know where Nellie got her chunkyness from cuz Danielle was a chunk a monk too so cute
You are big heart .Beauty inside and out.
I have a question , if your dad never made you break up w Danny do you think everything would be different ? you wouldn’t have met Lonnie and you would still be w Danny after having Danielle and Danny would of never had another babygirl as well. Very curious
I actually met Lonnie before I started dating Danny. We were just 100% friends at that point
On Minute 9:00 Danielle looks so much like Lex 😮😊
I love the intro ❤️❤️❤️
Lmao @ Our LANDing Crew I met my husband on TAMPA BAY chat rooms on AOL LOL at 17 we are 36 now and still together . My oldest son now almost 19 i had before we met an tbh i tried to scare my husband away at that time bc i didnt wanna burden him but now almost 18 yrs later still together and my son calls him dad .love the story Steph
Thanks for sharing. Interesting
You are a good mom
See I’m 22 and have never had a relationship with my birth father as at the age of 4 he left it to me to decide if I wanted that relationship,he also treated my mother incredibly badly so I instantly knew I wanted nothing to do with him, from 4 through to 22 I had nothing to do with him and a month ago he messaged me saying I had an older sister two younger sisters and a younger brother and asked could he borrow money....I just can’t deal with him.
Positive love! We are a copatarnting we do good we have atleast one holiday all of us
Great video