www.patreon.com/erikthor if you want coaching or help www.erikthor.com/test/personality-test if you want to figure out your personality type (MBTI) Become a member if you want to support the channel and vote on future videos!
An INFJ thing I've done when I felt awful, but it ended up making me feel a little better? It actually happened not too long ago. Maybe a month at most. A loose acquaintance of mine seemed to be especially "down on himself" and texted me out of the blue saying he needed to talk a little bit about it. Well, no matter what I initially did, I could not get this guy to open up. He'd say something, and then he'd take two steps back and try to withdraw from the conversation. I had to keep it going and assure him that it was OK to talk. After about an hour, I learn that his mother had just passed away, he had 50 dollars of outstanding parking fines, he could get his license suspended if he didn't pay them before getting in his car and heading to the funeral, so I just paid it for him. He swore he'd pay me back. I didn't really care if he did or didn't because ultimately, I paid it for me. I needed to feel like a good and giving person that night. While others would be reluctant to part with money for a stranger, I did so freely. 50 dollars is hardly taking advantage of me, and whether his story was true or false, what mattered is that "I" paid his tickets freely for the right reason, not a coerced reason. Practice acts of kindness here and there. They will help you with your self esteem tremendously.
Also, do you find that most INFJs have had traumatic experiences? But, to answer your question... Something I'm proud of: About ten years ago, I sold all of my possessions. Then, I raised money for a charity/missions organization in Argentina that was located in one of the poorest regions. They feed over 200 homeless children a day (they lived in the outskirts of the city amongst huge piles of the city's trash). I moved there by myself to live with other people I didn't know well, and not being fluent in the language. I worked everyday making the food, teaching the children English, feeding them, loving them. I helped build a school. I helped build a youth center for a safe place for them to come and hang out away from prostitution or drugs. I helped teach skills like baking and hygiene, and had experts (mechanics, chefs, doctors, nutritionists, cosmetologists) come speak to the families and teach them. I counseled young teen girls and led bible studies. I bought the kids special foods, clothes, and toys. I took the kids who were ill to doctors, got them medicines or glasses for those who couldnt see. I hosted a children's day in the barrio and did face paintings and fed them and their families. I planned and implemented a teen camp weekend with all events based on one of their favorite shows 'Fear Factor'. We played games, we shared and we laughed. After a year, I learned the language, and had fallen in love with the culture. It changed me. I am proud that I didn't let fear of the unknown stand in my way. I still feel odd talking about it. I don't think I did something extraordinary. Most people who know me, don't even know I did those things.
@@devonrexcatz Thank you for your comment. I appreciate it. There are so many people who take the time to help others, even in their own communities. Helping, in whatever way you are able, makes all the difference.
@@loref4200 You are welcome! Yes there are some wonderful people in the world. So many, like yourself, don't expect recognition. I certainly look up to you xx
You made me cry. Thank you. I am proudest to share my experience as INFJ with my beautiful INFJ niece. She introduced me to Myers Briggs when I was 40 years old and I could never thank her enough. And I'm probably not broken... just bent... ;) Thanks again for the brutal honesty. The world needs so much more of this...
I noticed you don't look into the camera... I have this problem of not looking into people's eyes while talking to them... interesting? I realize it, and then look at them. You hit every point correct! I cried during this video bc it's all Tru... Thank you!
When talking about myself to anyone i tend to look at the floor. Looking straight makes me feel vulnerable. I to am an INFJ and I relate to everything you say. Going back to the beginning of when i stopped caring about myself. This is my first step to healing.
If it makes you feel any better, I think you have one of the most accurate MBTI channel. I think you do really well explaining the different personality types. -ENFP
Hi Eric!! My son introduced me to your site! Back in July ‘19. Found out I am an INFJ. Having just listened to this podcast. I finally, after All these years have a better understanding of myself. Thank’s to You!! Hopefully with this better understanding, I won’t beat myself up as often as I have done in the past. I have helped many Families Deal with their End of Life Loved One’s in their own homes. And despite the gratitude I receive I still question myself negatively ( hard to explain) as if my Motives are perverse and I’m just doing it for Gratitude???? You are an Amazing Human Being! May I suggest that you also upload this Podcast with a Different Title so that All your followers get to see your True self and not Only INFJ’s. Namaste!
I am new to discovering I'm an infj. I fit in and feel justified now and am not just a weird misfit in other people's glance. And I say glance because that's how others often look at you, you feel they glance at you and dismiss you. I have never been one to speak up for myself expecting people to be bigger then that and not need to speak up for myself. Some fools say you need to gain respect. I say you need to respect people first before they prove otherwise. You are Young, emotions are brutal when you're young. But you are beautiful soul inside and out. I felt crushed it 5 years old also with the disappointment that my father had no soul or love. And then was crushed at 7 or 8 then my best friend that I loved could throw me away when meeting a new friend. And on and on it goes. A love in college throu me away so I decided love stiks and just went for adventure over love. Relationships after relationship not really expecting to be loved. Now they are all gone, dead and I still have had a wonderful life and most days I love myself. You will get so comfortable in your self you won't care about other people's opinions. That's the goal. I try to look at young men like I look at my son's, it helps me with empathy towards them and know "you are beautiful".
You were speaking my mind, I can totally relate, I couldn't have expressed this so powerfully as you did. Thank you! I tend to think that I failed when I am hurting. And I think my biggest thing I have achieved so far that I raised two wonderful kids with their father together in the last 20 years. That was a long project... 😅
I'm proud of the kids I have raised hopefully they will become productive members of society. I know they aren't perfect but I do believe I'm raising 3 infj kids. I know for fact my oldest and youngest are just because I now am beginning to truly understand that we aren't strange nor alone other people feel as we do its great to have this knowledge.
It kind of sounds like you're turning into the next version of yourself. It's uncomfortable af but you're doing a good job, everyone goes through a different amount of pressure so it manifests in a different way for every mbti type (and you do it more publicly). Keep on being a forward thinker and don't be so hard on yourself for not being able to do it all at once Also everyone stay safe out there
It's temporary but still super uncomfortable. My deficit is seeing the process happen step by step in real time and not being able to articulate what's happening, which takes away control for me and it's still gets scary so I default straight to anger for having that deficit and for seeing it around me through others actions. But you aren't alone in it and those deficits are meant to teach you about yourself. Again keep speaking honestly and be patient with you
I relate to looking in the distance while I talk about abstract concepts but if I am on camera I make the extra effort to make eye contact. I just don't want any minor fixable details to distract from your message. I personally find your mannerisms and accent (to my ears) adorable. Lack of engagement with he camera seemed bit excessive this time. Along the same lines, are you familiar with NLP? They have developed a model that identities what kinds of thoughts are correlated with different lines on sight, the relation to left or right brain thinking I guess, and then they teach how you can create behavior modification via interrupting the eye gaze intentionally. It is fadcinating. For me personally, I feel I was damaged during formative years but currently I am healthy and healing. I am encouraged to remember the healing I believe is inevitable with the passage of time. Any work I do or tools I add to my toolbox via CBT for example, merely accelerate growth which is exciting. But the baseline is good news with everything else just adding awesome to good.
I’ve become that person to many people that they feel at like at least they have and can count on to come through if they ever feel like they’re alone in this world or like they have no one.
I stood for myself... Then apologized for hurting the other person... And in the same sentence, affirmed myself. Hahahaha. I believe it's a far better approach than the door slam... Fairer and more healing, even to the other person. Now, I just have to make it more concise and coherent.
What does a mature or evolved INFJ look like? If you feel some of these things about being less than, incompetent, etc...how do you mature past that? I sent in my personality test results and pics for the typing stream, but I found that I missed it. Will you possibly do another?
we 'become' a puddle of insecurities - painful wounds - feeling cursed ....STAND UP -just stand up again. IF, all else fails take a lovely drive to the country - check = no one around - then - roll down the car window and then = many PRIMAL SCREAMS to release it all to the UNIVERSE so They KNOW we are in TROUBLE PLENTY....amen.
I'm sorry to hear that, brother. I'm fortunate. I dodged marrying one. I was lucky that she revealed herself early enough for me to see. But I had almost proposed to her.
@@ErikThor I think that's great advice, Erik. It must be true. I remember fainting in a corridor at work years ago and just lying there until I felt a bit better but my boss found out and wanted me to go home even though I wanted to stay to work (because I had fainted a lot throughout my life and it was no big deal for me). I gave in to her and was going to catch two buses home but she pushed me to ring someone to pick me up which I was really nervous about. Turns out they came and picked me up but they were so angry with me in the car ride back because they had a flexi-day off work during which they were running errands and they angrily told me I should've been more forceful with my boss. So yes, good advice.
I felt rage when something doesn't go my way, I know that one day I will become the charge of that person or position that I'm working on. Right now I feel like I've shot down by machine-gun multiple times. I know that it will only strengthen my armor by the time I get there. Until then I'll keep working on patience.
That could still be true, I mean a person can be both, you just gotta ask yourself what is healthy about your personality and what is unhealthy to the point where you feel no control over it
www.patreon.com/erikthor if you want coaching or help
www.erikthor.com/test/personality-test if you want to figure out your personality type (MBTI)
Become a member if you want to support the channel and vote on future videos!
An INFJ thing I've done when I felt awful, but it ended up making me feel a little better? It actually happened not too long ago. Maybe a month at most.
A loose acquaintance of mine seemed to be especially "down on himself" and texted me out of the blue saying he needed to talk a little bit about it. Well, no matter what I initially did, I could not get this guy to open up. He'd say something, and then he'd take two steps back and try to withdraw from the conversation. I had to keep it going and assure him that it was OK to talk. After about an hour, I learn that his mother had just passed away, he had 50 dollars of outstanding parking fines, he could get his license suspended if he didn't pay them before getting in his car and heading to the funeral, so I just paid it for him. He swore he'd pay me back. I didn't really care if he did or didn't because ultimately, I paid it for me. I needed to feel like a good and giving person that night. While others would be reluctant to part with money for a stranger, I did so freely. 50 dollars is hardly taking advantage of me, and whether his story was true or false, what mattered is that "I" paid his tickets freely for the right reason, not a coerced reason. Practice acts of kindness here and there. They will help you with your self esteem tremendously.
Also, do you find that most INFJs have had traumatic experiences? But, to answer your question... Something I'm proud of: About ten years ago, I sold all of my possessions. Then, I raised money for a charity/missions organization in Argentina that was located in one of the poorest regions. They feed over 200 homeless children a day (they lived in the outskirts of the city amongst huge piles of the city's trash). I moved there by myself to live with other people I didn't know well, and not being fluent in the language. I worked everyday making the food, teaching the children English, feeding them, loving them. I helped build a school. I helped build a youth center for a safe place for them to come and hang out away from prostitution or drugs. I helped teach skills like baking and hygiene, and had experts (mechanics, chefs, doctors, nutritionists, cosmetologists) come speak to the families and teach them. I counseled young teen girls and led bible studies. I bought the kids special foods, clothes, and toys. I took the kids who were ill to doctors, got them medicines or glasses for those who couldnt see. I hosted a children's day in the barrio and did face paintings and fed them and their families. I planned and implemented a teen camp weekend with all events based on one of their favorite shows 'Fear Factor'. We played games, we shared and we laughed. After a year, I learned the language, and had fallen in love with the culture. It changed me. I am proud that I didn't let fear of the unknown stand in my way.
I still feel odd talking about it. I don't think I did something extraordinary. Most people who know me, don't even know I did those things.
Amazing! Thankyou for helping others in such an unselfish way xx
@@devonrexcatz Thank you for your comment. I appreciate it. There are so many people who take the time to help others, even in their own communities. Helping, in whatever way you are able, makes all the difference.
@@loref4200 You are welcome! Yes there are some wonderful people in the world. So many, like yourself, don't expect recognition. I certainly look up to you xx
There is no brokenness just humanness. ❤️
eric never give up ❤️ you are amazing and help so many! Signed, infp
You made me cry. Thank you. I am proudest to share my experience as INFJ with my beautiful INFJ niece. She introduced me to Myers Briggs when I was 40 years old and I could never thank her enough. And I'm probably not broken... just bent... ;) Thanks again for the brutal honesty. The world needs so much more of this...
I like what Erik said. Pain is not the same as brokenness.
I noticed you don't look into the camera... I have this problem of not looking into people's eyes while talking to them... interesting? I realize it, and then look at them.
You hit every point correct! I cried during this video bc it's all Tru... Thank you!
When talking about myself to anyone i tend to look at the floor. Looking straight makes me feel vulnerable. I to am an INFJ and I relate to everything you say. Going back to the beginning of when i stopped caring about myself. This is my first step to healing.
If it makes you feel any better, I think you have one of the most accurate MBTI channel. I think you do really well explaining the different personality types. -ENFP
Hi Eric!! My son introduced me to your site! Back in July ‘19. Found out I am an INFJ. Having just listened to this podcast. I finally, after All these years have a better understanding of myself. Thank’s to You!! Hopefully with this better understanding, I won’t beat myself up as often as I have done in the past. I have helped many Families Deal with their End of Life Loved One’s in their own homes. And despite the gratitude I receive I still question myself negatively ( hard to explain) as if my Motives are perverse and I’m just doing it for Gratitude???? You are an Amazing Human Being! May I suggest that you also upload this Podcast with a Different Title so that All your followers get to see your True self and not Only INFJ’s. Namaste!
I am new to discovering I'm an infj. I fit in and feel justified now and am not just a weird misfit in other people's glance. And I say glance because that's how others often look at you, you feel they glance at you and dismiss you. I have never been one to speak up for myself expecting people to be bigger then that and not need to speak up for myself. Some fools say you need to gain respect. I say you need to respect people first before they prove otherwise.
You are Young, emotions are brutal when you're young. But you are beautiful soul inside and out. I felt crushed it 5 years old also with the disappointment that my father had no soul or love. And then was crushed at 7 or 8 then my best friend that I loved could throw me away when meeting a new friend. And on and on it goes. A love in college throu me away so I decided love stiks and just went for adventure over love. Relationships after relationship not really expecting to be loved. Now they are all gone, dead and I still have had a wonderful life and most days I love myself.
You will get so comfortable in your self you won't care about other people's opinions. That's the goal.
I try to look at young men like I look at my son's, it helps me with empathy towards them and know "you are beautiful".
You were speaking my mind, I can totally relate, I couldn't have expressed this so powerfully as you did. Thank you! I tend to think that I failed when I am hurting. And I think my biggest thing I have achieved so far that I raised two wonderful kids with their father together in the last 20 years. That was a long project... 😅
I'm proud of the kids I have raised hopefully they will become productive members of society. I know they aren't perfect but I do believe I'm raising 3 infj kids. I know for fact my oldest and youngest are just because I now am beginning to truly understand that we aren't strange nor alone other people feel as we do its great to have this knowledge.
Thats really cool, no matter what, I am sure they are awesome! 😀
It kind of sounds like you're turning into the next version of yourself. It's uncomfortable af but you're doing a good job, everyone goes through a different amount of pressure so it manifests in a different way for every mbti type (and you do it more publicly). Keep on being a forward thinker and don't be so hard on yourself for not being able to do it all at once
Also everyone stay safe out there
Continue speaking honestly
Yes that is true times of doubt can lead to great positive change later on. :)
It's temporary but still super uncomfortable. My deficit is seeing the process happen step by step in real time and not being able to articulate what's happening, which takes away control for me and it's still gets scary so I default straight to anger for having that deficit and for seeing it around me through others actions. But you aren't alone in it and those deficits are meant to teach you about yourself. Again keep speaking honestly and be patient with you
I relate to looking in the distance while I talk about abstract concepts but if I am on camera I make the extra effort to make eye contact. I just don't want any minor fixable details to distract from your message. I personally find your mannerisms and accent (to my ears) adorable. Lack of engagement with he camera seemed bit excessive this time.
Along the same lines, are you familiar with NLP? They have developed a model that identities what kinds of thoughts are correlated with different lines on sight, the relation to left or right brain thinking I guess, and then they teach how you can create behavior modification via interrupting the eye gaze intentionally. It is fadcinating.
For me personally, I feel I was damaged during formative years but currently I am healthy and healing. I am encouraged to remember the healing I believe is inevitable with the passage of time. Any work I do or tools I add to my toolbox via CBT for example, merely accelerate growth which is exciting. But the baseline is good news with everything else just adding awesome to good.
I’ve become that person to many people that they feel at like at least they have and can count on to come through if they ever feel like they’re alone in this world or like they have no one.
I stood for myself... Then apologized for hurting the other person... And in the same sentence, affirmed myself.
Hahahaha.
I believe it's a far better approach than the door slam... Fairer and more healing, even to the other person.
Now, I just have to make it more concise and coherent.
Failure is necessary to grow. So broke I can't pay attention.
What does a mature or evolved INFJ look like? If you feel some of these things about being less than, incompetent, etc...how do you mature past that? I sent in my personality test results and pics for the typing stream, but I found that I missed it. Will you possibly do another?
I've helped others heal even if it pained me.
we 'become' a puddle of insecurities - painful wounds - feeling cursed ....STAND UP -just stand up again. IF, all else fails take a lovely drive to the country - check = no one around - then - roll down the car window and then = many PRIMAL SCREAMS to release it all to the UNIVERSE so They KNOW we are in TROUBLE PLENTY....amen.
16 yrs married to a narcissist will definately wear you down.
I'm sorry to hear that, brother.
I'm fortunate. I dodged marrying one. I was lucky that she revealed herself early enough for me to see. But I had almost proposed to her.
Try being raised by a narcissist. It will shatter your life into pieces if you try to enlighten them or protect others from them.
Find out early who you are dating by practicing being vulnerable and asking them for help at times when it is inconvenient for themz
Yes.... same here... I was blind for so many years and tried to fix the problem..
@@ErikThor I think that's great advice, Erik. It must be true.
I remember fainting in a corridor at work years ago and just lying there until I felt a bit better but my boss found out and wanted me to go home even though I wanted to stay to work (because I had fainted a lot throughout my life and it was no big deal for me). I gave in to her and was going to catch two buses home but she pushed me to ring someone to pick me up which I was really nervous about.
Turns out they came and picked me up but they were so angry with me in the car ride back because they had a flexi-day off work during which they were running errands and they angrily told me I should've been more forceful with my boss.
So yes, good advice.
I felt rage when something doesn't go my way, I know that one day I will become the charge of that person or position that I'm working on. Right now I feel like I've shot down by machine-gun multiple times. I know that it will only strengthen my armor by the time I get there. Until then I'll keep working on patience.
What do you do if you are trapped in a situation where your life is mostly taking care of someone and you just want to have your own life?
Specifically as someone who is exactly as you are describing
@@chanmang STANCE - LOVE YOURSELF !
I never wanted to be Jesus. I wanted to be Gandhi.
I feel like an INFJ when people feel safe and protected around me.
I've done a lot of things for a lot of people but I've always been a fraud in some respect.
I kinda thought I was possibly bipolar or something.
That could still be true, I mean a person can be both, you just gotta ask yourself what is healthy about your personality and what is unhealthy to the point where you feel no control over it
You're an ENFP.
Does anyone else feel like this guy really isn't an INFJ?
❤
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