My ex insisted my kids and I smile ALL THE TIME and NEVER argue with anything he said and ALWAYS immediately jump to do whatever he said. The consequences were terrible. He would hurt my kids to hurt/punish and control me. He would disable the phone, take the car keys or take one of the kids with him if he left the house so I couldn’t call for help or leave. Our nearest neighbor was about 10 miles away so I couldn’t just leave. My sweet MIL helped me and the kids get away. She said she would never forgive herself for not warning me about him. Oh, and he only bought groceries if he was hungry and only what he wanted to eat. We were not allowed to eat until he was finished.
Something I find helps if you think you're overreacting about something or not sure how to react is: Imagine your friend/family member/loved one was in your situation. Imagine someone you love and respect being treated as you are being treated. Imagine the advice/reaction you would give/have about it, to them. Example: someone is telling them they can't do something like wear certain clothes or makeup or can't be anything but obedient to them. How would you advise them to react? How would you react on their behalf? Do you think you're overreacting now? Narcissists have a way of making people see themselves as less than, so by imagining someone you respect and love in a situation where you aren't sure if you're being mistreated can help give you the perspective you need to think "wait a minute, this isn't okay" that you've been trained out of.
My dad did this shit to me. I’d be chatting with school partners about projects and he’d see me and accuse me of having boyfriends (I was 17-20) old enough to date imo. Cleaned his giant house for him, did his laundry, watched my baby brother and picked him up from daycare. Once I sneezed and he looked at me like he was going to murder me
@@alaysiadennis9420 unfortunately he still controls me. It’s hard to get out from under someone when they control you financially and you’re unable to save anything
@@springday2385 (unsolicited advice under the assumption he manages your expenses) Take out the odd $20 bill and change and such and hide it all in random places that you'll remember and he won't check. At the least you can gather enough money that he doesn't know about to feel like you have some control over your life, even if you don't use it to stay somewhere else. I've done this as a result of being guilted into using my highschool working money to pay bills I shouldn't have paid, and I couldn't do anything or go anywhere, but it made me feel better that there was a 20 sitting under a rock in my desk that my mom couldn't touch.
I had a girlfriend who would look into my eyes and say tell me what you are thinking about, if I didn't give enough detail she would say you are thinking of the woman /ex. 😱
Ask me that and you get the most random answers. "What are you thinking of?" "I wonder if chili dogs would taste good with crushed fritos on top..." It tastes pretty good btw That or, "Is that pink comforter I bought online going to be the shade I want it to be or is it going to be an off pink and not match my pillows?"
"You're not going to tell me when it's time to eat." Ok buddy, I'll just make you a plate and set it out, and if it's cold by the time you're ready, then that's your fault.
See, stuff like this is why I can kinda appreciate having a relationship when I'm not really "young" anymore. You get used to being with yourself and you don't expect to be constantly entertained by your SO. My husband likes to go hunting and always asks if I'm okay with him going and I'm always like "Babe, if you wanted to go on a weekend hunting trip with someone, that's fine, just let me know where-ish in case something happens". He's the same way with me if I wanted to go somewhere. Emotional maturity in a relationship isn't something to NOT make a priority.
@Essene Sea I've seen you on every other comment on this video You are one paranoid woman Because all your replies imply that you don't trust men at all
@Essene Sea didn’t I see you comment that you were asexual/aromantic on another persons comment .? No offence but it seems like romantic relationships would not be in the realm of your expertise ..
Sometimes I think im bad about asking people for help with things, and thinking im controlling. But then I realize that there are people who do THIS garbage.
I was dating a girl. We got into an argument one night, don’t even remember what it was about. We had been going back and forth for an hour or so and I was sick of fighting. So I get in my car and drive back home. 10 minutes later I start getting texts like “thanks for showing me how to shoot my gun” and “please take care of my cat.” So I b line it back to her place when she calls me. On the phone I can here her as sad as I’ve ever heard another human ever. More sad than anything I’ve ever experienced in my life. She’s saying how she’s done. Then I hear the distinct sound of a metal pistol slide slamming into place. At this point I’m in tears freaking out and begging her not to do anything stupid. I’ve never been more distraught in my entire life. She hangs up the phone. I’m flying at 90mph down residential streets. Eventually I get to her place and all the doors are locked. I pound on her roommates window begging for him to let me in and that it’s an emergency. I get to her room. In one fluid motion, I burst in her door where I see her lying on her bed with a gun in her hand, I rip the gun out of her hand, unchamber a round and take all the ammunition and hide the gun in my car. She comes out irate. Telling me that if I don’t give her gun back then she’s going to call the police and have them arrest me for stealing her gun. She had no ammo at this point and I didn’t want to go to jail, so I caved and gave her the gun. She pointed it at me as a did. I got back to my car and drove away. Sure enough I get another call as I’m halfway home, I lived an hour away. She called me begging to come back and that she didn’t want to be alone. So I went, got pizza and fell asleep next to her on her bed that night. It was my first long term girlfriend and I thought I was in love with her. We dated for another 3 months. Messed me up so badly the only way she could get away from me in the end was to get a restraining order. She had me wrapped around her finger so horribly. I’m honestly crying right now as I’m writing this. 3 years later and I’m still not over her. I know I’m such an idiot. I’m so traumatized by the whole experience I haven’t been able to put myself out there or care for another person ever since. Writing this all out is actually helping me a great deal to see how ignorant I am. I feel like I’ve lost three years of my life. Please don’t be like me.
I wasn't allowed to dress how I wanted. I had to approve everything with him. I wasn't allowed to drink because he didn't like it. I wasn't allowed to buy anything for my self. So if I got a haircut he'd be moody with me for days, sometimes weeks because I spent money and he hated it. Never anything crazy, just a trim.
You are a beautiful soul and no one gets to treat you that way. Controlling is the worst form of abuse. Stay strong and never, ever accept this kind of thing in your life again.
Just remember that for every horrible person out there, there is a wonderful one too. Relationships are tough but they are worth it. And you can think of this video as an example of how love makes you really believe that people can always be better. You just have to know when to walk away.
Those who have good relationship don't post in these. It's about recognising red flags. Asking yourself time to time what are you getting in this relationship. Does other one constantly make you unhappy. People, unfortunately, ignore 9 bad if there is one good. I guess some kind of self protecting. My first bf was absolutely garbage and I was foolish teen that would do anything to hang on to him. Grew up and now married to caring and loving man.
The others in the top of this comment section seem to be exaggerating. Not all relationships are bad, just look out for red flags and make it clear what you want out of the relationship. Most often, if someone is bad for you then your family will know if you know they want the best for you. Friends are also a relatively good indicator if you trust them. Always trust your gut feeling. Of course there are some crappy people, but there are a good lot of people that would be brilliant to date and such. This is coming from someone who grew up with a skewed picture of what relationships should be, as my dad was abusive. You’ll do great
Honestly, just don't be desperate to be in a relationship. That's the big hook for most people. The instant anyone gives you bullshit, drop em. You do NOT deserve to be manipulated, so know the signs, and don't listen to the "You're just like my ex/my father/all the others" lines. All the worst people use that shit to guilt you into coming back. Anyone who makes you the asshole for being honest about your feelings needs to be removed from your life immediately. But, also, you'll provably make your own mistakes. Don't be afraid to make them. Any sham/toxic relationships you have when you're young will be good practice in helping you to learn what kind of partner you need and want, how to love, and how to stand up for yourself. Some life experience requires pain. It'll hurt, but you'll be fine.
My ex would talk about how attractive other guys were and what'd it'd be like for her to sleep with them, in excessive detail. Then she started sobbing because I said an ANIMAL CROSSING CHARACTER was adorable, she begged me to not cheat with.. A fictional character.. Because I said the design was cute- so yeah I've been single for about a year now
My ex-husband expected me to be a house wife type while expecting me to be the major bread winner. I wasn't allowed to take time off work, even when sick and I was not ever allowed to be out with friends if he was home. At one point he rang me when I was out shopping with a friend and berated me for not being home. While I was the one who paid the bills and got driven into debt for him.to have his toys, the one time he would pay for dinner he would berate me to the point of crying if I didn't finish everything on my plate but would then scream at me for.gaining weight. Divorce was a sweet, sweet relief.
I could relate to this. He told me I couldn’t wear hats because I looked prettier without them (even though I really liked my beanies), controlled what I ate and always told me to diet so he could stay attracted to me. It really affected how I was able to trust anyone I got into a relationship with
My first boyfriend was very controlling. I wasn't allowed to wear makeup, wasn't allowed to go anywhere without him, was only allowed to see my friends on certain days, wasn't allowed to drink on my 18th birthday,... the list goes on. I was so happy and free after dumping his ass. Took a while for him to finally get lost though, as he followed me everywhere and constantly called me saying he wasn't eating, etc...he was such a controlling a**. He is now engaged, and I hope, for her sake, he is no longer like this.
God I swear people like this really do be thinking they're ur dad with the "you can and can't do this that" bullshit, like no Jokes aside, it really sounded like an awful situation, glad you got out and yeah hope he changed, if not good luck to that poor woman
My ex tried to get me kicked off of the football team then she said “ you can’t play football because I don’t want you near those cheerleaders” like tf imma be playing not tryna get with cheerleaders
That's crazy. I dated a football player who's ex was cheerleader so they saw each other all the time and it never once crossed my mind that he would cheat on me with her. Ironically though he did cheat when he was at Knott's with her (coincidentally same day but they weren't in the same group) and he cheated on me with a random girl there with the same name as me 💀
@@zachbrb6304 tbh I got really mad because he and his stupid friends made a post about me calling me a hoe (??) Because I was mad at him so I recorded my confrontation of him admitting to cheating me because he was lying about, hacked his Instagram and Gmail and changed the passwords to "I'm a cheater (anniversary date)" and such and then posted his confession on his Instagram. I definitely want crazy and that was the only time I've been really pissed. We were together for almost 2 years and I was always supportive of him and helped him in school while his mom treated me horribly. Pretty crazy
@@zachbrb6304 ya. That was my breaking point and I never did anything again but he still tries to tell people that I'm the one who cheated and acts like a victim. I apologized to him about it but he hasn't learned his lesson.
Not gonna lie, listening to these stories has helped me process my breakup. I’m not perfect either but I still tried to do better. I was convinced I couldn’t do anything right and that she couldn’t trust me to do anything especially being a father. I went to a really dark place and almost didn’t come back. If it hurts to be with someone, just leave. Your mental health matters more to you and your children.
Once got accused of cheating on him... with my brother. He genuinely insisted that I was cheating on him and didn't believe that he's my brother. Tracked my whereabouts constantly. Wouldn't let me look at or speak to any guys. That's the tip of the iceberg, he was the worst.
One of my exes had a rule that I could not go to school. Because I was not actually going to school I was going to cheat. I could not talk to my friends, even the other girls because of cheating. If I went anywhere even with my family I was cheating. Come to find out Mr. I know you’re cheating on me when you do this... Was you guessed it cheating on me. The break up was one of the best parts of my senior year of high school.
Mine was more of a crush as we “dated” in fourth grade- Yeah I know this sounds dumb but like, he would tell me to stay away from my friends, tell me to choose him or my friends cause I wanted to make time for them all, told me I was being an ass (we thought swearing constantly meant we were cool shshs) for not wanting him lingering over my shoulder all the time. The fact that this was in fourth grade is just- hhh
I had an ex gf that was freaked out by the thought of me looking at busty women. She would also try to cover my eyes during movies and wanted me to not look at certain magazines. She visited me at work and became irate that several coworkers were busty and wanted me to quit my job of seven years. She had an all-out fit at the beach one day and embarrassed me badly. That was the final straw.
My ex: hated video games and was on the verge of banning them from the house. Tried to forbid me from taking a bath (showers only). Hated it if I was reading a book while dropping a deuce. Tried to prevent me from running a box fan while sleeping (worked overnight, I was paying all bills).
My ex once try to tell me I'm not allowed to have any female friends and the one friend she was the most jealous of was a lesbian who came out of the closet when she was 15 years old weirdly she was jealous of her the most
Had a toxic girlfriend back in my high school years who would always try to guilt-trip and control me anytime I wasn't able to contact her at certain times. Always demanded to answer her calls every time I came home from school, or else she would bombard a bunch of my social media accounts with dumb messages. And if I block her even on one social media account, she goes ballistic and tries to also call me on my phone... even she knows I wanted to keep our relationship secret from my own parents, but she said her family's aware while mine wasn't. Good thing I haven't heard from her anymore since 2012, but the next toxic relationship I get myself into and this happens again, I'm gonna be ready for it. And speaking of that, it wasn't easy, but I finally managed to get rid of her without any of my relatives knowing. She was quite a stalker even online...
@@meyeneetuks4680 Well, I made it so that she finally stopped contacting me after all those years, although early on, I thought she was joking. I was so paranoid that a few hours then turned to several weeks, to even half a year. I was so used to the idea that anytime she says "we're over", she somehow decides to message me within short moments later saying "she's sorry". She's been pulling that crap one too many times that it got to my head for so long. Plus, while we haven't spoken since 2012, I decided to give it a test and ask her back. She would then return with the message saying, "My mother has forbidden me from talking to you! I have to move on with my life and you have to do the same!" I risked harassing her a few times and not one phone call back. So I came to the conclusion that I finally got the toxic girl to end contact with me.
@@DestructiveDave1900 oh phew ok. Ima be real kind of a risky move to break relations with sumone but then ask to see her again as a test. If she was toxic and you wanted to separate, you have to mean it
@@meyeneetuks4680 It ain't easy, especially when she would go as far as threatening suicide. I didn't really know how else to weasel my way out, I was young back then. Nowadays, the next toxic girl who threatens suicide, I'm gonna call her bluff and say, "Go ahead. I'll be sure to have the cops ready." I don't have an interest in pursuing a career in psychology, but I want to study it as a hobby so I can try to get around toxic people.
My ex would get jealous when I was hanging out with friends, particularly guy friends. He liked to be in contact with me when O was hanging out with them which wasn’t always practical. He’d also hint/accuse me of cheating when I hung out with certain guys. Meanwhile he’d sometimes flirt with other girls behind my back if I couldn’t or didn’t want to see him and I’d hear about it secondhand. Also consent was an ongoing issue. Now I’m friends with a guy who takes that very seriously in all contexts it’s surprisingly hard to adjust to. I also still get uneasy when I say no to something he really wants to do or he doesn’t respond to my requests to not do something or back off. He always apologizes on the rare occasions that happens. And I’m still getting used to the idea that this friend will still like me and enjoy my company even if I say no to something he wants to do.
Ladies and gentlemen listen to this and write this down. These are huge red flags... and no it will not get better if you just love them more... nothing you do will ever be good enough. And it is not your fault
In high school, my boyfriend told me he didn't feel like I trusted him at all because I didn't tell him something, I don't remember the details. But his way for me to prove to him that I trusted him was that I had to let him hold a knife to my throat.
My cousin’s ex was very jealous type. She didn’t want him to talk to any girls, heck my sister found out and purposely hugged him at school which infuriated her. His last straw was that she forbidden him on having any type of female celebrity crush.
We supposedly had an open relationship but they gave hints that if I ever found some one else to have fun with they would dump me, while prior they had been with multiple people. they would always say I was busy even as I wasn't I would ask them to join me and they wouldn't I would watch whatever videos and stuff they show me, but they wouldn't watch any of mine. also they wanted me to tell them every time i went to sleep or went to work and when I woke up but they often wouldn't and would get after me if I didn't but would just act like no big deal if they forgot to. we are still together but I... just... yeah, hope or wish things would get better.
My best friend got into a relationship 4 months ago. Haven't seen him since. His girl doesn't allow him to visit friends after sundown. And she talked him out of buying a house last month.
@@ajnart_ I got my work cut out. Hes one of those dudes who get along just fine, but always drop off the face of the earth when a woman gets into his life. Its a cycle
WTF... I know personal feelings complicate things, but how do people stay in relationships after getting demands like these? 90% of these scenarios would instantly bring the prospective SO to a level of regard I reserve for bugs that are large enough to make a regrettable mess on the bottom of my boot but are too nasty to be permitted to live
Ex wife controlled everything. Would always use it to keep me under her boot. Her behavior got insane and more regular. Used to kick me out all the time and threaten to call the police if I didnt do what she said never got to hang with friends and barely any time to my self without a guilt trip/ huge out rage over it.
@Essene Sea ...really ?. Perhaps I don't recall the part in the marriage vows where being able to have some time with friends was a breach of the contract. Either way that was the least of our marriage issues.
My ex was incredibly controlling. He would call me fat all the time to the point that I was 95lbs by the end of that relationship. If I was more than 5 mins when checking the mail he would think I was fucking the mail man. He would call me a slut CONSTANTLY even tho I was no where near slutty * I am not slut shaming you do you and if you enjoy having sex a lot awesome! its not a bad thing *. He would get mad if I said a movie character was cute and forbid me from watching Resident Evil because I liked Leon *but I meant the video game character from resident evil 4 the game, so I never corrected him on what I actually meant*. He thought anime was stupid and would forbid me from watching it. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE anime so I basically would watch it whenever he wasn't around. When he found out I was bisexual I was no longer allowed to hug ANYONE or even shake a persons hands not just males anymore. I had no friends by the end of that relationship because i had chosen to push everyone away for his dumb ass. He even said hugging my mom was cheating so I couldn't even hug my mother when I was with him. He thought I was cheating on him with my friend Catherine because I had admitted I had a crush on her before I had started dating him. He would act like I was crazy if I would get upset at him for going somewhere without telling me, but then he would go INSANE if I went to the bathroom without him knowing. He would even ask to hear me pee because he didn't believe I was actually going to the bathroom. He wouldn't let me even look at his friends and forget responding to them if they were talking to me. He was the one to answer my questions. He wouldn't let me upload pictures to fb unless he approved them and I posted on where I was kinda smiling once and he threw a fit saying I looked "flirty" and I had to take it down. I had pink hair when I met him, but he called me slutty for having my pink hair so I changed it to my natural dirty blonde hair color. He then accused me of trying to please guys with the way I looked, but I had done it for him. He demanded I change my gamer tag on xbox because it showed that I was a girl and change it to something to match his. He knew how to hack into emails and he would do it to me on a regular basis and lock me out if he was mad at me. He would take over my Xbox acc and keep me out till I was "behaving" again. He did so much more than this and recently he messaged me again stating that he still had my pictures from back in the day and by pictures he meant the ones of me naked that he forced me to send or else he would break up with me. So I told him, good for you, but since those were sent before I was 16 that's technically child porn. He immediately deleted me blocked me. I guess he didn't realize how having those still was actually illegal LOL. It felt so good to basically say GO FUCK YOURSELF! in my own kind way. I was 16 when I dated this guy. I dated another guy later on that threw my Xbox at my head, but this guy was by far the most controlling and insane. I found out after the fact he had been cheating on me and it shocked me that he had time for another girl when he was spending SO MUCH time controlling me, my eating habits and the way I dressed. He was also using Cocaine a lot during our relationship. I am now in a stable and happy/healthy relationship with a man I love very much. I've grown up so much since then. I let so much slide. PLEASE if you actually read this, dont let someone do this kinda stuff to you. Man or Woman, you don't deserve this whatsoever. Its not ok. They aren't showing that they care a lot with this kinda behavior, they are showing that they are controlling and abusive. It is not ok. No matter how much you love someone, don't let go of who you are for them and do not tolerate this kinda treatment.
I went on a work conference trip in another part of the country and the hotel we were at was right by a famous attraction. My ex told me I wasn't allowed to go and I had to stay only in the hotel. I went to the attraction and he insisted I text him the whole time I was there. He later told me it was insulting to him that I went to such a place without him. He also was insulted 2 days later when I had to go on another trip for my siblings college graduation without him (he wasn't invited anyways) and insisted he know my every activity. He said his reason for being insulted was that he shouldn't have to be at home alone and wondering where I was despite knowing for 2 months that these trips were to happen. SO happy we aren't together anymore 🙋🏻♀️
He would be jealous about pretty much anyone. I was to remove all of my friends online (I refused to remove my oldest friends), I was to not engange in conversations whilst gaming even if I was directly asked something related to gaming, I was to share my location via whatsapp when I was outside, I was to spend every second with him and him alone, I was to not meet up with anyone else but my mum. One time I told him that I have a visitor, that I'm busy and she will be leaving soon, he answered with "She?!" for he expected me to have a male visitor (it was my MOTHER, the one person he allowed me to interact with). He would also say I can do what I want, but when I did, he would be pissed off and pretty much ignore me. It got so far, that I asked him before I did anything and stared at his expression to see if I was actually allowed to. I left him out of desperation and I got weirdly dependent on others opinions. It's getting better, but sometimes I still feel like I have to ask for permission to do things.
He get's jealous when I talk to my friends. If I message someone before him in the morning, or if I check my social media before texting him, he would get angry at me and say I care more about my friends/social media more then him. Guilt trips me CONSTANTLY about everything. Mainly sex. Gaslights, manipulates, verbally, mentally and emotionally abusive. For a while, wouldn't let me shower alone. Never spent money on me, but I went broke on him several times. Constantly bring up my exs and compare himself to them, then get mad at me for dating them in the past. Use's mental illness as an excuse for everything. (He had BPD)
My ex wanted me to quit my job as it didn’t fit with his schedule, we had to go to sleep at the same time, if things didn’t work for him He didn’t care to be apart of it even if it was important to me.
High school bf. We HAD to do homework together because it helped him. English (we're supposed to have individual, unique answers, why are we spending 3 hours working on something that would have taken me 30 minutes?) Math (I was way better than him, "don't move on to the next problem until I'm done!" At this point I've finished the hw and am just sitting on the phone listening to him work and pretending I haven't moved on.) "When we text, I don't want you to be doing anything else but texting me back immediately" ????? Then call???? Wasted way too much time on that boy.
I went to the pharmacy attached to the hospital that was open until 1AM 365 days a year to get an Rx filled on my way home, it was 11 pm at that point. I texted the ex BF (who i still hung out with) that I was heading home for the night after the pharmacy and he flipped out accusing me of lying because "no pharmacy is open that late." I asked him what or how I would potentially benefit from lying about something so mundane and he couldn't answer. I photographed the sign showing the pharmacy business hours and a stealth pic of the mostly empty waiting area and the people working behind the counter in the back. He was still super suspicious but eventually shut up. I look back at that relationship and see nothing but red flags. Don't ever settle for hanging out with shitty people thinking it's better than being alone because it's not. I learned that the hard way and now when I get cold or the pressure changes I get a painful reminder of my mistake.
I have the opposite problem. Partner usually gets home by 6pm. If they're not I start to wonder if it'll look overbearing if I ring/text to see if everything's okay. If not home by 7:30pm I start to worry. By 8:30 I might drive to their work to see if their car is in the car park, half expecting to see it's mangled, blood stained wreckage on the way. All the way wondering where the lines between concern, control and simply needing to know when to put dinner on actually are. Then they ring me and remind me they're working late, and I should be at home getting dinner ready. Derp.
Not as serious as those listed here, but my ex was threatened by any guy that entered my life. This included friends as well as people I would interact with in my former job (I worked as an Admin Assistant in the Procurement Office at my local university). I remember mentioning someone that I called a "former friend," obviously implying that this person was no longer in my life (and hadn't been for some years), but the second this former friend was revealed to have been a man, he flew off the handle at me. It got to the point where I didn't even want to mention a man's name around him because I knew a fight would result. The two things that finally made me get out were him demanding that whenever I hung out with any of my male friends, I was to let him know about it, and the reveal that even if my friends were to have been 100% female, he wouldn't have been happy with them texting me a lot as he didn't have that many friends. Basically, he didn't like it when my attention was not on him. Although, my first red flag should have been when he stated that he hated the guy I dated before him, not because of any personality traits he had, or anything he had done to me, but because "he can take you from me." Keep in mind, I hadn't contacted that particular ex in over three years.
the amount of times i could have had a girlfriend i always declined because i liked my freedom (though people thought because i was gay, im not) then years later to now i hear all those people i could have been with be either alcoholic, druggies, or that "crazy ex" glad i stayed single.
My dad only ever gave me one piece of relationship advice: "never stick your ***k in crazy." In college, I went against that advice because she was hot (which should have been a red flag because I am very plain). That year I got to learn about the joy that is dating someone with Borderline Personality Disorder 😢
on one of our first dates, we made dinner together and watched mma. it was really boring. when i was taking the dishes to the sink, he slapped my butt and said, "welcome to your future saturdays!" as if we were gonna be doing this same boring, lame date every saturday night. dude i am not your wife of ten years. this does not make me wanna come back to you at all.
My SO did not want to see me when he first woke up in the morning, no vacuum cleaners (allergens), do not talk with your hands, use a monotone voice, and do not laugh out loud (too distracting).
I wasn’t allowed to get my cdl cause I might “cheat” nor was I allowed to spend alone time with women And yet she could spend alone time with other guys in areas that rarely got traffic. She would also get “bored” in like 5 minutes of visiting my parents and complain as much as she could
The proper response to "I'll kill myself if you break up with me" is either "Okay" or "Have fun" and walk out. Shit take, i know, but it worked for my friend. They don't show you respect or care, don't show them any
I imagine those dads who post those rules for dating my daughter would consider the one guy who just asked for the girlfriend to be employed, don't cheat, and not to treat him as an ATM as controlling. They probably rank him with the other guys in the video.
He asked to see my pay stubs to see if the amount of hours I was out of the house was the same as the hours worked, to make sure I wasn't cheating on him while pretending to be at work. It was circa 2001-2002 so I guess that's the pre-smartphone version of checking location history.
I've given up dating because shit like this is EVERYWHERE now. I just don't want to deal with it. If this is what a 'relationship' is today, y'all can just keep it.
I had to text him all day, every day. If I took longe than 5 minutes to respond, he’d be pissy about it for days. If I said anything he didn’t agree with he’d “subtly” try and make me agree with him, and call me stupid for not supporting him getting then quitting 3 different jobs in the span of a month because they interfered with his weed addiction… or, as he put it, he didn’t like the “unfair” (aka totally normal/reasonable) work conditions and there was no point in working anyway because he could just get his parents to pay his bills. I could probably write a novel about all the crazy things he did…So glad I managed to get tf out of that relationship
Okay, the story at 0:35 - 1:10 that girl is is insane but to be about 5% fair here.. Who would leave food in somebody elses car?? Talk about rude & gross.
(im still with him,) but last summer when me and my brother were on vacation at my dads house (we go every summer,) we were talking (texting) about the people we hug. I don’t hug a lot of people because I’m generally a shy person and so is he and I said “other than you I only hug people in my family” and he got jealous because I said I hugged my dad ✋🏻💀
How jealous? Why is he even jealous of you hugging your Dad in the first place? That's just so weird. Is this the first/only time he's done something ridiculous like this?
@@red0421 dude idk why he gets jealous he just is. And no it hasn’t been the only time. He for some reason was convinced that me and his bsf were doing something and when I told him I was pan he thought that meant “I saw someone attractive and they turned me pan...” I admit that I get jealous too but it’s for reasons that genuinely make sense. (He’s kissed another girl while we were together for example...)
rose you guys either need couples counselling for his jealousy issues, because there is no way that this is healthy, or you need to break up with him. A little jealousy is fine, but to be jealous of everyone? Even your own _family_ ? Nah, that's a problem you can't ignore and hope it gets better with time.
I wasn't allowed to go anywhere or do anything unless I gave him at least 48 hours notice. And if I did go anywhere, regardless of how much warning was given, I had to have location on and shared the whole time and text every 5 or so minutes. Otherwise my phone would blow up with him rapidly flipping between demanding I talk to him and moping about how I don't want to talk to him because *enter litany of pity party whining about how he's not good enough, nobody loves him, everyone leaves him, it's fine, he'll just lay in the dark all alone crying until I get back*. He never wanted to come with me either, he was aggressively against ever meeting my friends but I was a horrible person if I wanted to hang out with someone other than him
14:48 I Hate my husband talking to his friends/family about our marital problems. I Get that he needs people to vent to and get emotional support from, but instead he just bitches about and humiliates me, and tries to get them to be little flying monies against me for him
My ex said I was limited to the time I was allowed to spend with my family and told me when I was to sleep and wake up so that I couldn't get a straight 8 hours sleep.
“I left him for a chef.” Killed me. 😆 Brilliant.
Same haha. Good for her!
I was listening to that and I was HORRIFIED. One of my s/os was like that and I ended up with an eating disorder
@@femboy__bunny I'm sorry to hear that.
This is why you learn to cook, gentlemen. That scene in the movie *Chef* is not a lie.
Hahaha. I snorted
My ex insisted my kids and I smile ALL THE TIME and NEVER argue with anything he said and ALWAYS immediately jump to do whatever he said. The consequences were terrible. He would hurt my kids to hurt/punish and control me. He would disable the phone, take the car keys or take one of the kids with him if he left the house so I couldn’t call for help or leave. Our nearest neighbor was about 10 miles away so I couldn’t just leave. My sweet MIL helped me and the kids get away. She said she would never forgive herself for not warning me about him. Oh, and he only bought groceries if he was hungry and only what he wanted to eat. We were not allowed to eat until he was finished.
I hope his stupid ass was sent to jail. Glad you finally got out.
I think there's a Family Guy short based on that last part.
@@bensoncheung2801 is family guy a tv show?
@@oldwoman5942
Yes
@@oldwoman5942 Search up "family guy John Goodman"
Something I find helps if you think you're overreacting about something or not sure how to react is:
Imagine your friend/family member/loved one was in your situation.
Imagine someone you love and respect being treated as you are being treated.
Imagine the advice/reaction you would give/have about it, to them.
Example: someone is telling them they can't do something like wear certain clothes or makeup or can't be anything but obedient to them.
How would you advise them to react?
How would you react on their behalf?
Do you think you're overreacting now?
Narcissists have a way of making people see themselves as less than, so by imagining someone you respect and love in a situation where you aren't sure if you're being mistreated can help give you the perspective you need to think "wait a minute, this isn't okay" that you've been trained out of.
@Red04 : super comment 👍🏼
My dad did this shit to me. I’d be chatting with school partners about projects and he’d see me and accuse me of having boyfriends (I was 17-20) old enough to date imo. Cleaned his giant house for him, did his laundry, watched my baby brother and picked him up from daycare. Once I sneezed and he looked at me like he was going to murder me
That soumds like OCD or something.
That’s gross and I hope you’re okay now
@@alaysiadennis9420 unfortunately he still controls me. It’s hard to get out from under someone when they control you financially and you’re unable to save anything
@@springday2385 (unsolicited advice under the assumption he manages your expenses) Take out the odd $20 bill and change and such and hide it all in random places that you'll remember and he won't check. At the least you can gather enough money that he doesn't know about to feel like you have some control over your life, even if you don't use it to stay somewhere else. I've done this as a result of being guilted into using my highschool working money to pay bills I shouldn't have paid, and I couldn't do anything or go anywhere, but it made me feel better that there was a 20 sitting under a rock in my desk that my mom couldn't touch.
Said he wasn't interested in me. Ok fair enough. But then demanded I stay single for 20 years as then he thinks he would be ready. Lol.
Are you sure we didnt date someones siblings?
This sounds so similar to my ex-girlfriend
I had a girlfriend who would look into my eyes and say tell me what you are thinking about, if I didn't give enough detail she would say you are thinking of the woman /ex. 😱
I always tell them I'm thinking about how to beat the red dragon in World of Warcraft
My response to the question would eventually just be "How psychotic and insecure you are. Bye."
Ask me that and you get the most random answers.
"What are you thinking of?"
"I wonder if chili dogs would taste good with crushed fritos on top..."
It tastes pretty good btw
That or, "Is that pink comforter I bought online going to be the shade I want it to be or is it going to be an off pink and not match my pillows?"
😂 sometimes you can just stare and that’s fine
"You're not going to tell me when it's time to eat."
Ok buddy, I'll just make you a plate and set it out, and if it's cold by the time you're ready, then that's your fault.
See, stuff like this is why I can kinda appreciate having a relationship when I'm not really "young" anymore. You get used to being with yourself and you don't expect to be constantly entertained by your SO. My husband likes to go hunting and always asks if I'm okay with him going and I'm always like "Babe, if you wanted to go on a weekend hunting trip with someone, that's fine, just let me know where-ish in case something happens". He's the same way with me if I wanted to go somewhere. Emotional maturity in a relationship isn't something to NOT make a priority.
@Essene Sea I've seen you on every other comment on this video
You are one paranoid woman
Because all your replies imply that you don't trust men at all
@Essene Sea You're right. But I don't live my life as a paranoid bitch, so I take people at their word when I have no reason to do otherwise 🤷🏻♀️
@Essene Sea didn’t I see you comment that you were asexual/aromantic on another persons comment .? No offence but it seems like romantic relationships would not be in the realm of your expertise ..
Yep. I'm familiar with not being allowed to wear makeup when leaving the house, including work, because "who are you trying to attract?"
Wonder if people heard of trying to look great
So stupid 🤦
Sometimes I think im bad about asking people for help with things, and thinking im controlling. But then I realize that there are people who do THIS garbage.
I was dating a girl. We got into an argument one night, don’t even remember what it was about. We had been going back and forth for an hour or so and I was sick of fighting. So I get in my car and drive back home. 10 minutes later I start getting texts like “thanks for showing me how to shoot my gun” and “please take care of my cat.” So I b line it back to her place when she calls me. On the phone I can here her as sad as I’ve ever heard another human ever. More sad than anything I’ve ever experienced in my life. She’s saying how she’s done. Then I hear the distinct sound of a metal pistol slide slamming into place. At this point I’m in tears freaking out and begging her not to do anything stupid. I’ve never been more distraught in my entire life. She hangs up the phone. I’m flying at 90mph down residential streets. Eventually I get to her place and all the doors are locked. I pound on her roommates window begging for him to let me in and that it’s an emergency. I get to her room. In one fluid motion, I burst in her door where I see her lying on her bed with a gun in her hand, I rip the gun out of her hand, unchamber a round and take all the ammunition and hide the gun in my car. She comes out irate. Telling me that if I don’t give her gun back then she’s going to call the police and have them arrest me for stealing her gun. She had no ammo at this point and I didn’t want to go to jail, so I caved and gave her the gun. She pointed it at me as a did. I got back to my car and drove away. Sure enough I get another call as I’m halfway home, I lived an hour away. She called me begging to come back and that she didn’t want to be alone. So I went, got pizza and fell asleep next to her on her bed that night. It was my first long term girlfriend and I thought I was in love with her. We dated for another 3 months. Messed me up so badly the only way she could get away from me in the end was to get a restraining order. She had me wrapped around her finger so horribly. I’m honestly crying right now as I’m writing this. 3 years later and I’m still not over her. I know I’m such an idiot. I’m so traumatized by the whole experience I haven’t been able to put myself out there or care for another person ever since. Writing this all out is actually helping me a great deal to see how ignorant I am. I feel like I’ve lost three years of my life. Please don’t be like me.
Good Lord Parker. Please get therapy if u can. There are online options or even therapists making utube videos. You need to process this
I wasn't allowed to dress how I wanted. I had to approve everything with him. I wasn't allowed to drink because he didn't like it. I wasn't allowed to buy anything for my self. So if I got a haircut he'd be moody with me for days, sometimes weeks because I spent money and he hated it. Never anything crazy, just a trim.
You are a beautiful soul and no one gets to treat you that way. Controlling is the worst form of abuse. Stay strong and never, ever accept this kind of thing in your life again.
Makes me more nervous about relationships than I was before.
Just remember that for every horrible person out there, there is a wonderful one too. Relationships are tough but they are worth it. And you can think of this video as an example of how love makes you really believe that people can always be better. You just have to know when to walk away.
Those who have good relationship don't post in these.
It's about recognising red flags. Asking yourself time to time what are you getting in this relationship. Does other one constantly make you unhappy. People, unfortunately, ignore 9 bad if there is one good. I guess some kind of self protecting.
My first bf was absolutely garbage and I was foolish teen that would do anything to hang on to him. Grew up and now married to caring and loving man.
@delt Congratulations on your lack of reading comprehension ❤
The others in the top of this comment section seem to be exaggerating. Not all relationships are bad, just look out for red flags and make it clear what you want out of the relationship. Most often, if someone is bad for you then your family will know if you know they want the best for you. Friends are also a relatively good indicator if you trust them. Always trust your gut feeling. Of course there are some crappy people, but there are a good lot of people that would be brilliant to date and such. This is coming from someone who grew up with a skewed picture of what relationships should be, as my dad was abusive. You’ll do great
Honestly, just don't be desperate to be in a relationship. That's the big hook for most people. The instant anyone gives you bullshit, drop em. You do NOT deserve to be manipulated, so know the signs, and don't listen to the "You're just like my ex/my father/all the others" lines. All the worst people use that shit to guilt you into coming back. Anyone who makes you the asshole for being honest about your feelings needs to be removed from your life immediately.
But, also, you'll provably make your own mistakes. Don't be afraid to make them. Any sham/toxic relationships you have when you're young will be good practice in helping you to learn what kind of partner you need and want, how to love, and how to stand up for yourself. Some life experience requires pain. It'll hurt, but you'll be fine.
Woulda crop dusted the moment that stipulation was brought up 🤣🤣🤣
My ex would talk about how attractive other guys were and what'd it'd be like for her to sleep with them, in excessive detail. Then she started sobbing because I said an ANIMAL CROSSING CHARACTER was adorable, she begged me to not cheat with.. A fictional character.. Because I said the design was cute- so yeah I've been single for about a year now
wtf? animal crossing? seriously?!
She sounds absolutely insane.
Just curious, which character?
God, thank you for the 40,000th time for making me asexual and aromantic.
My ex-husband expected me to be a house wife type while expecting me to be the major bread winner. I wasn't allowed to take time off work, even when sick and I was not ever allowed to be out with friends if he was home. At one point he rang me when I was out shopping with a friend and berated me for not being home.
While I was the one who paid the bills and got driven into debt for him.to have his toys, the one time he would pay for dinner he would berate me to the point of crying if I didn't finish everything on my plate but would then scream at me for.gaining weight.
Divorce was a sweet, sweet relief.
I could relate to this. He told me I couldn’t wear hats because I looked prettier without them (even though I really liked my beanies), controlled what I ate and always told me to diet so he could stay attracted to me. It really affected how I was able to trust anyone I got into a relationship with
My first boyfriend was very controlling. I wasn't allowed to wear makeup, wasn't allowed to go anywhere without him, was only allowed to see my friends on certain days, wasn't allowed to drink on my 18th birthday,... the list goes on. I was so happy and free after dumping his ass.
Took a while for him to finally get lost though, as he followed me everywhere and constantly called me saying he wasn't eating, etc...he was such a controlling a**.
He is now engaged, and I hope, for her sake, he is no longer like this.
God I swear people like this really do be thinking they're ur dad with the "you can and can't do this that" bullshit, like no
Jokes aside, it really sounded like an awful situation, glad you got out and yeah hope he changed, if not good luck to that poor woman
To the people that control people doing puzzles the way they want to: Go solve a 9000 piece puzzle under 30 minutes
It least they won't make you solve puzzles with *OVER 9000* pieces.
My ex tried to get me kicked off of the football team then she said “ you can’t play football because I don’t want you near those cheerleaders” like tf imma be playing not tryna get with cheerleaders
That's crazy. I dated a football player who's ex was cheerleader so they saw each other all the time and it never once crossed my mind that he would cheat on me with her. Ironically though he did cheat when he was at Knott's with her (coincidentally same day but they weren't in the same group) and he cheated on me with a random girl there with the same name as me 💀
@@lilylemoncake2091 damn bruh, I hope that didn’t stop you from being a great person
@@zachbrb6304 tbh I got really mad because he and his stupid friends made a post about me calling me a hoe (??) Because I was mad at him so I recorded my confrontation of him admitting to cheating me because he was lying about, hacked his Instagram and Gmail and changed the passwords to "I'm a cheater (anniversary date)" and such and then posted his confession on his Instagram. I definitely want crazy and that was the only time I've been really pissed. We were together for almost 2 years and I was always supportive of him and helped him in school while his mom treated me horribly. Pretty crazy
@@lilylemoncake2091 oh
@@zachbrb6304 ya. That was my breaking point and I never did anything again but he still tries to tell people that I'm the one who cheated and acts like a victim. I apologized to him about it but he hasn't learned his lesson.
_"Did you just take a breath without my permission?! Breath and answer me!"_ 😬
Never could this be me. I block someone just for giving me that “your so much prettier without makeup” bullshit
Written by somehow who has no idea what they're talking about
I do now too! but it's from lessons I learned from being treated horribly by people before
But isn't that supposed to be a compliment tho? I dont get it
@@meyeneetuks4680 nope
I don't understand how this is not a compliment
There’s worse things then being single
Not gonna lie, listening to these stories has helped me process my breakup. I’m not perfect either but I still tried to do better. I was convinced I couldn’t do anything right and that she couldn’t trust me to do anything especially being a father. I went to a really dark place and almost didn’t come back.
If it hurts to be with someone, just leave. Your mental health matters more to you and your children.
Once got accused of cheating on him... with my brother. He genuinely insisted that I was cheating on him and didn't believe that he's my brother. Tracked my whereabouts constantly. Wouldn't let me look at or speak to any guys. That's the tip of the iceberg, he was the worst.
“As soon as I hit the water, I came.” I DIED, BRO
Having grown up in an abusive home, I made it a point to learn the red flags so I would never end up in these situations. So much insanity.
My Evil Ex. I wasn't "allowed" to have visitors, of any gender, not even family, because "you might cheat." (Guess who _was_ cheating...)
Him
so what happen to him did your big brother kick his ass to streets
One of my exes had a rule that I could not go to school. Because I was not actually going to school I was going to cheat. I could not talk to my friends, even the other girls because of cheating. If I went anywhere even with my family I was cheating. Come to find out Mr. I know you’re cheating on me when you do this... Was you guessed it cheating on me. The break up was one of the best parts of my senior year of high school.
2:00 this happened to my sisters exbf. if he had eyes and a woman happened to be nearby, he was watching her apparently. my sister is whacked.
Mine was more of a crush as we “dated” in fourth grade-
Yeah I know this sounds dumb but like, he would tell me to stay away from my friends, tell me to choose him or my friends cause I wanted to make time for them all, told me I was being an ass (we thought swearing constantly meant we were cool shshs) for not wanting him lingering over my shoulder all the time. The fact that this was in fourth grade is just- hhh
My ex would get mad at the phrase “I can’t wait!” And other things like that🤣 safe to say I couldn’t wait to leave
I had an ex gf that was freaked out by the thought of me looking at busty women. She would also try to cover my eyes during movies and wanted me to not look at certain magazines. She visited me at work and became irate that several coworkers were busty and wanted me to quit my job of seven years. She had an all-out fit at the beach one day and embarrassed me badly. That was the final straw.
My ex:
hated video games and was on the verge of banning them from the house.
Tried to forbid me from taking a bath (showers only).
Hated it if I was reading a book while dropping a deuce.
Tried to prevent me from running a box fan while sleeping (worked overnight, I was paying all bills).
Dang
@@PinkCreeper6969 There's plenty more; those are just the ones that came to mind first.
@@wolfstarchaser ok I hope you find a better guy
@@PinkCreeper6969 how do know OC is a girl and her ex is a guy??
@@Kafuixx or girl
My ex once try to tell me I'm not allowed to have any female friends and the one friend she was the most jealous of was a lesbian who came out of the closet when she was 15 years old weirdly she was jealous of her the most
same, my current bf is very jealous of my best friend who is a gay male, he thinks i slept with him, which is hilarious lol
When it's more power than friendship, time to walk away.
Had a toxic girlfriend back in my high school years who would always try to guilt-trip and control me anytime I wasn't able to contact her at certain times. Always demanded to answer her calls every time I came home from school, or else she would bombard a bunch of my social media accounts with dumb messages. And if I block her even on one social media account, she goes ballistic and tries to also call me on my phone... even she knows I wanted to keep our relationship secret from my own parents, but she said her family's aware while mine wasn't.
Good thing I haven't heard from her anymore since 2012, but the next toxic relationship I get myself into and this happens again, I'm gonna be ready for it. And speaking of that, it wasn't easy, but I finally managed to get rid of her without any of my relatives knowing. She was quite a stalker even online...
....get rid of her? Bro u didn't...
@@meyeneetuks4680 Well, I made it so that she finally stopped contacting me after all those years, although early on, I thought she was joking. I was so paranoid that a few hours then turned to several weeks, to even half a year.
I was so used to the idea that anytime she says "we're over", she somehow decides to message me within short moments later saying "she's sorry". She's been pulling that crap one too many times that it got to my head for so long.
Plus, while we haven't spoken since 2012, I decided to give it a test and ask her back. She would then return with the message saying, "My mother has forbidden me from talking to you! I have to move on with my life and you have to do the same!" I risked harassing her a few times and not one phone call back. So I came to the conclusion that I finally got the toxic girl to end contact with me.
@@DestructiveDave1900 oh phew ok. Ima be real kind of a risky move to break relations with sumone but then ask to see her again as a test. If she was toxic and you wanted to separate, you have to mean it
@@meyeneetuks4680 It ain't easy, especially when she would go as far as threatening suicide. I didn't really know how else to weasel my way out, I was young back then.
Nowadays, the next toxic girl who threatens suicide, I'm gonna call her bluff and say, "Go ahead. I'll be sure to have the cops ready." I don't have an interest in pursuing a career in psychology, but I want to study it as a hobby so I can try to get around toxic people.
@@DestructiveDave1900 yessir. Screw those people who threaten suicide. Its just the worst of the worst
My ex would get jealous when I was hanging out with friends, particularly guy friends. He liked to be in contact with me when O was hanging out with them which wasn’t always practical. He’d also hint/accuse me of cheating when I hung out with certain guys. Meanwhile he’d sometimes flirt with other girls behind my back if I couldn’t or didn’t want to see him and I’d hear about it secondhand. Also consent was an ongoing issue. Now I’m friends with a guy who takes that very seriously in all contexts it’s surprisingly hard to adjust to. I also still get uneasy when I say no to something he really wants to do or he doesn’t respond to my requests to not do something or back off. He always apologizes on the rare occasions that happens. And I’m still getting used to the idea that this friend will still like me and enjoy my company even if I say no to something he wants to do.
'When I didn't lose 30kg in a month'...even 10kg was pushing it! Just over 20 lbs and he still wasn't happy.
Why do these people stick around for so damn long? Don't settle, people! NEVER settle!
A lot of them are in fear for their physical safety/life/sanity. They're not choosing to be in the relationship.
Ladies and gentlemen listen to this and write this down. These are huge red flags... and no it will not get better if you just love them more... nothing you do will ever be good enough. And it is not your fault
In high school, my boyfriend told me he didn't feel like I trusted him at all because I didn't tell him something, I don't remember the details. But his way for me to prove to him that I trusted him was that I had to let him hold a knife to my throat.
Shit like this makes me scared of relationships lowkey
i couldn't stop laughing at the firefighter one, so dam hilarious!
My cousin’s ex was very jealous type. She didn’t want him to talk to any girls, heck my sister found out and purposely hugged him at school which infuriated her. His last straw was that she forbidden him on having any type of female celebrity crush.
Female celebrity crush? Damn. Legit everyone has those. Its not like he will cheat on her with a celebrity. Sheesh she super paranoid
@@meyeneetuks4680
Right? He told her that but she still demanded no crushes. Ironically according to him she could still have male celebrity crushes.
1:40 I know I always take the shirt and bra off when performing CPR
We supposedly had an open relationship but they gave hints that if I ever found some one else to have fun with they would dump me, while prior they had been with multiple people. they would always say I was busy even as I wasn't I would ask them to join me and they wouldn't I would watch whatever videos and stuff they show me, but they wouldn't watch any of mine. also they wanted me to tell them every time i went to sleep or went to work and when I woke up but they often wouldn't and would get after me if I didn't but would just act like no big deal if they forgot to. we are still together but I... just... yeah, hope or wish things would get better.
Things will never get better in thisrelationship. It may feel like shit to leave now but I promise it will get 100% better.
GET OUT!
My best friend got into a relationship 4 months ago. Haven't seen him since. His girl doesn't allow him to visit friends after sundown. And she talked him out of buying a house last month.
Save him. Please
@@ajnart_ I got my work cut out. Hes one of those dudes who get along just fine, but always drop off the face of the earth when a woman gets into his life. Its a cycle
Get him out of the relationship.
@@GalaxyDogenut next time I see him ill explain my concerns, and the fishiness of his situation. I'll see how he responds
@@superdavelane4 um... thanks...
Thank you updoot these videos are great thanks for the work ✌️
WTF... I know personal feelings complicate things, but how do people stay in relationships after getting demands like these? 90% of these scenarios would instantly bring the prospective SO to a level of regard I reserve for bugs that are large enough to make a regrettable mess on the bottom of my boot but are too nasty to be permitted to live
Ex wife controlled everything. Would always use it to keep me under her boot. Her behavior got insane and more regular. Used to kick me out all the time and threaten to call the police if I didnt do what she said never got to hang with friends and barely any time to my self without a guilt trip/ huge out rage over it.
@Essene Sea ...really ?. Perhaps I don't recall the part in the marriage vows where being able to have some time with friends was a breach of the contract. Either way that was the least of our marriage issues.
The least?! She must've been awful.
My ex was incredibly controlling. He would call me fat all the time to the point that I was 95lbs by the end of that relationship. If I was more than 5 mins when checking the mail he would think I was fucking the mail man. He would call me a slut CONSTANTLY even tho I was no where near slutty * I am not slut shaming you do you and if you enjoy having sex a lot awesome! its not a bad thing *. He would get mad if I said a movie character was cute and forbid me from watching Resident Evil because I liked Leon *but I meant the video game character from resident evil 4 the game, so I never corrected him on what I actually meant*. He thought anime was stupid and would forbid me from watching it. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE anime so I basically would watch it whenever he wasn't around. When he found out I was bisexual I was no longer allowed to hug ANYONE or even shake a persons hands not just males anymore. I had no friends by the end of that relationship because i had chosen to push everyone away for his dumb ass. He even said hugging my mom was cheating so I couldn't even hug my mother when I was with him. He thought I was cheating on him with my friend Catherine because I had admitted I had a crush on her before I had started dating him. He would act like I was crazy if I would get upset at him for going somewhere without telling me, but then he would go INSANE if I went to the bathroom without him knowing. He would even ask to hear me pee because he didn't believe I was actually going to the bathroom. He wouldn't let me even look at his friends and forget responding to them if they were talking to me. He was the one to answer my questions. He wouldn't let me upload pictures to fb unless he approved them and I posted on where I was kinda smiling once and he threw a fit saying I looked "flirty" and I had to take it down. I had pink hair when I met him, but he called me slutty for having my pink hair so I changed it to my natural dirty blonde hair color. He then accused me of trying to please guys with the way I looked, but I had done it for him. He demanded I change my gamer tag on xbox because it showed that I was a girl and change it to something to match his. He knew how to hack into emails and he would do it to me on a regular basis and lock me out if he was mad at me. He would take over my Xbox acc and keep me out till I was "behaving" again.
He did so much more than this and recently he messaged me again stating that he still had my pictures from back in the day and by pictures he meant the ones of me naked that he forced me to send or else he would break up with me. So I told him, good for you, but since those were sent before I was 16 that's technically child porn. He immediately deleted me blocked me. I guess he didn't realize how having those still was actually illegal LOL. It felt so good to basically say GO FUCK YOURSELF! in my own kind way.
I was 16 when I dated this guy. I dated another guy later on that threw my Xbox at my head, but this guy was by far the most controlling and insane. I found out after the fact he had been cheating on me and it shocked me that he had time for another girl when he was spending SO MUCH time controlling me, my eating habits and the way I dressed. He was also using Cocaine a lot during our relationship.
I am now in a stable and happy/healthy relationship with a man I love very much. I've grown up so much since then. I let so much slide. PLEASE if you actually read this, dont let someone do this kinda stuff to you. Man or Woman, you don't deserve this whatsoever. Its not ok. They aren't showing that they care a lot with this kinda behavior, they are showing that they are controlling and abusive. It is not ok. No matter how much you love someone, don't let go of who you are for them and do not tolerate this kinda treatment.
The old lady ti*ties
I- HA that’s horrible
1:23 I can do that. I even started making up my own puzzles in my head because I was bored...I don't have a life
How the frick did you let him make you buy him new gaming sets? Out of fear, I get, but holy crap.
I went on a work conference trip in another part of the country and the hotel we were at was right by a famous attraction. My ex told me I wasn't allowed to go and I had to stay only in the hotel. I went to the attraction and he insisted I text him the whole time I was there. He later told me it was insulting to him that I went to such a place without him. He also was insulted 2 days later when I had to go on another trip for my siblings college graduation without him (he wasn't invited anyways) and insisted he know my every activity. He said his reason for being insulted was that he shouldn't have to be at home alone and wondering where I was despite knowing for 2 months that these trips were to happen. SO happy we aren't together anymore 🙋🏻♀️
How do people even date people like this
He would be jealous about pretty much anyone. I was to remove all of my friends online (I refused to remove my oldest friends), I was to not engange in conversations whilst gaming even if I was directly asked something related to gaming, I was to share my location via whatsapp when I was outside, I was to spend every second with him and him alone, I was to not meet up with anyone else but my mum. One time I told him that I have a visitor, that I'm busy and she will be leaving soon, he answered with "She?!" for he expected me to have a male visitor (it was my MOTHER, the one person he allowed me to interact with). He would also say I can do what I want, but when I did, he would be pissed off and pretty much ignore me. It got so far, that I asked him before I did anything and stared at his expression to see if I was actually allowed to. I left him out of desperation and I got weirdly dependent on others opinions. It's getting better, but sometimes I still feel like I have to ask for permission to do things.
He get's jealous when I talk to my friends. If I message someone before him in the morning, or if I check my social media before texting him, he would get angry at me and say I care more about my friends/social media more then him. Guilt trips me CONSTANTLY about everything. Mainly sex. Gaslights, manipulates, verbally, mentally and emotionally abusive. For a while, wouldn't let me shower alone. Never spent money on me, but I went broke on him several times. Constantly bring up my exs and compare himself to them, then get mad at me for dating them in the past. Use's mental illness as an excuse for everything. (He had BPD)
Ex told me I couldn't wear shorts on a walk in the neighborhood...I live in Florida...it's hot...I made him wear pants too.
My ex wanted me to quit my job as it didn’t fit with his schedule, we had to go to sleep at the same time, if things didn’t work for him He didn’t care to be apart of it even if it was important to me.
These stories make me so glad I’m aroace
High school bf. We HAD to do homework together because it helped him. English (we're supposed to have individual, unique answers, why are we spending 3 hours working on something that would have taken me 30 minutes?) Math (I was way better than him, "don't move on to the next problem until I'm done!" At this point I've finished the hw and am just sitting on the phone listening to him work and pretending I haven't moved on.)
"When we text, I don't want you to be doing anything else but texting me back immediately" ????? Then call????
Wasted way too much time on that boy.
Great collection, thank you!
I went to the pharmacy attached to the hospital that was open until 1AM 365 days a year to get an Rx filled on my way home, it was 11 pm at that point. I texted the ex BF (who i still hung out with) that I was heading home for the night after the pharmacy and he flipped out accusing me of lying because "no pharmacy is open that late." I asked him what or how I would potentially benefit from lying about something so mundane and he couldn't answer. I photographed the sign showing the pharmacy business hours and a stealth pic of the mostly empty waiting area and the people working behind the counter in the back. He was still super suspicious but eventually shut up.
I look back at that relationship and see nothing but red flags.
Don't ever settle for hanging out with shitty people thinking it's better than being alone because it's not. I learned that the hard way and now when I get cold or the pressure changes I get a painful reminder of my mistake.
I'm sorry but I do not understand what ur referring to physically, here. hope yr ok
People are weird man
I'm so cautious of my relationship now
He didn’t want me to go to Uni, said I would meet new people and break up with him. I broke up with him before I went to uni and met new people.
I have the opposite problem. Partner usually gets home by 6pm. If they're not I start to wonder if it'll look overbearing if I ring/text to see if everything's okay. If not home by 7:30pm I start to worry. By 8:30 I might drive to their work to see if their car is in the car park, half expecting to see it's mangled, blood stained wreckage on the way. All the way wondering where the lines between concern, control and simply needing to know when to put dinner on actually are.
Then they ring me and remind me they're working late, and I should be at home getting dinner ready.
Derp.
Partners like this have such a negative effect on a person's quality of life. Especially if you stay with them for a long time as some people do.
Not as serious as those listed here, but my ex was threatened by any guy that entered my life. This included friends as well as people I would interact with in my former job (I worked as an Admin Assistant in the Procurement Office at my local university). I remember mentioning someone that I called a "former friend," obviously implying that this person was no longer in my life (and hadn't been for some years), but the second this former friend was revealed to have been a man, he flew off the handle at me. It got to the point where I didn't even want to mention a man's name around him because I knew a fight would result. The two things that finally made me get out were him demanding that whenever I hung out with any of my male friends, I was to let him know about it, and the reveal that even if my friends were to have been 100% female, he wouldn't have been happy with them texting me a lot as he didn't have that many friends. Basically, he didn't like it when my attention was not on him. Although, my first red flag should have been when he stated that he hated the guy I dated before him, not because of any personality traits he had, or anything he had done to me, but because "he can take you from me." Keep in mind, I hadn't contacted that particular ex in over three years.
the amount of times i could have had a girlfriend i always declined because i liked my freedom (though people thought because i was gay, im not)
then years later to now i hear all those people i could have been with be either alcoholic, druggies, or that "crazy ex"
glad i stayed single.
If you have to get permission from your SO, get out! Grown ups should not have to ask permission for anything!
the crazy exes story I have is that it demanded me for it to make changes to my computer
My dad only ever gave me one piece of relationship advice: "never stick your ***k in crazy."
In college, I went against that advice because she was hot (which should have been a red flag because I am very plain). That year I got to learn about the joy that is dating someone with Borderline Personality Disorder 😢
Jesus. I really a lot of these ended with "So I broke up with them while laughing"
THIS IS WHY THERAPY NEEDS TO BE FREE!!!
on one of our first dates, we made dinner together and watched mma. it was really boring. when i was taking the dishes to the sink, he slapped my butt and said, "welcome to your future saturdays!" as if we were gonna be doing this same boring, lame date every saturday night. dude i am not your wife of ten years. this does not make me wanna come back to you at all.
I can't believe people put up with this crazy shit!
All of these should disqualify that person from being in a relationship with you. Wtf.
My SO did not want to see me when he first woke up in the morning, no vacuum cleaners (allergens), do not talk with your hands, use a monotone voice, and do not laugh out loud (too distracting).
I wasn’t allowed to get my cdl cause I might “cheat” nor was I allowed to spend alone time with women And yet she could spend alone time with other guys in areas that rarely got traffic.
She would also get “bored” in like 5 minutes of visiting my parents and complain as much as she could
The proper response to "I'll kill myself if you break up with me" is either "Okay" or "Have fun" and walk out. Shit take, i know, but it worked for my friend. They don't show you respect or care, don't show them any
Thank you for the advice.
I wonder how low self-esteem these people have to be so damn controlling
I imagine those dads who post those rules for dating my daughter would consider the one guy who just asked for the girlfriend to be employed, don't cheat, and not to treat him as an ATM as controlling. They probably rank him with the other guys in the video.
He asked to see my pay stubs to see if the amount of hours I was out of the house was the same as the hours worked, to make sure I wasn't cheating on him while pretending to be at work. It was circa 2001-2002 so I guess that's the pre-smartphone version of checking location history.
Bro these actually make me mad
I've given up dating because shit like this is EVERYWHERE now. I just don't want to deal with it. If this is what a 'relationship' is today, y'all can just keep it.
I had to text him all day, every day. If I took longe than 5 minutes to respond, he’d be pissy about it for days. If I said anything he didn’t agree with he’d “subtly” try and make me agree with him, and call me stupid for not supporting him getting then quitting 3 different jobs in the span of a month because they interfered with his weed addiction… or, as he put it, he didn’t like the “unfair” (aka totally normal/reasonable) work conditions and there was no point in working anyway because he could just get his parents to pay his bills. I could probably write a novel about all the crazy things he did…So glad I managed to get tf out of that relationship
Okay, the story at 0:35 - 1:10 that girl is is insane but to be about 5% fair here.. Who would leave food in somebody elses car?? Talk about rude & gross.
I had a girlfriend who wanted to speak 24/7 and when I Actually said I didn't like that and I needed my time she guilt tripped me
(im still with him,) but last summer when me and my brother were on vacation at my dads house (we go every summer,) we were talking (texting) about the people we hug. I don’t hug a lot of people because I’m generally a shy person and so is he and I said “other than you I only hug people in my family” and he got jealous because I said I hugged my dad ✋🏻💀
How jealous?
Why is he even jealous of you hugging your Dad in the first place? That's just so weird.
Is this the first/only time he's done something ridiculous like this?
@@red0421 dude idk why he gets jealous he just is. And no it hasn’t been the only time. He for some reason was convinced that me and his bsf were doing something and when I told him I was pan he thought that meant “I saw someone attractive and they turned me pan...” I admit that I get jealous too but it’s for reasons that genuinely make sense. (He’s kissed another girl while we were together for example...)
@@lanarose63 So the guy basically gets jealous whenever you interact with someone who isn't him? Do I have that right?
@@red0421 pretty much
rose you guys either need couples counselling for his jealousy issues, because there is no way that this is healthy, or you need to break up with him.
A little jealousy is fine, but to be jealous of everyone? Even your own _family_ ?
Nah, that's a problem you can't ignore and hope it gets better with time.
“No judging people”. What a stupid rule!
IM fucking shocked at the amount of shit people are willing to take from psycho partners before they decide to leave.
I wasn't allowed to go anywhere or do anything unless I gave him at least 48 hours notice. And if I did go anywhere, regardless of how much warning was given, I had to have location on and shared the whole time and text every 5 or so minutes. Otherwise my phone would blow up with him rapidly flipping between demanding I talk to him and moping about how I don't want to talk to him because *enter litany of pity party whining about how he's not good enough, nobody loves him, everyone leaves him, it's fine, he'll just lay in the dark all alone crying until I get back*. He never wanted to come with me either, he was aggressively against ever meeting my friends but I was a horrible person if I wanted to hang out with someone other than him
Good thing u got out of that one
14:48 I Hate my husband talking to his friends/family about our marital problems. I Get that he needs people to vent to and get emotional support from, but instead he just bitches about and humiliates me, and tries to get them to be little flying monies against me for him
My ex was jealous of my celebrity crushes.
Now I don't feel so bad for dumping a girl at the first sign of a red flag.
My ex said I was limited to the time I was allowed to spend with my family and told me when I was to sleep and wake up so that I couldn't get a straight 8 hours sleep.