I'm literally sitting alone on a Saturday night balling my eyes out when this video notification came up. I feel like no one knows how much I'm struggling.
i cried my whole way from work to home on that Saturday night too. feeling like nobody understands, and nobody in my life would get anything i’m going through. but that’s okay, because you are NOT alone. even if we’re on other sides of the world, someone out there is going through the same doubts as you. i hope our pain eases soon
People that don’t have OCD have no idea how hard this actually is. But you’ve got us, a whole community that understands and is going through it alongside you. I hope that doesnt come across diminishing, just want you to know you are not alone! I hate talking about my ocd with people that haven’t gone through it. When I explain what’s bothering me it just sounds so ridiculous and nobody takes seriously how tormenting it actually is. Take care, I hope you have all the support you need ❤
@NoahStacksCups thank you. If you ever want to talk, I'm here. I really truly appreciate all of you. I'm not feeling much better today but hopefully I will. And you're right. I don't love talking about it with non ocd people because my fears sound so ridiculous but feel so real
i want to thank you for your videos. before i was diagnosed with ocd i was going through a really rough time navigating intrusive thoughts and believing they were real. i stumbled upon one of your videos while going down a research rabit whole and i have never felt more comforted, im so grateful i found your account as you put all of my thoughts and feelings into words. thankyou :))
I was diagnosed with OCD like 12 years ago or so. I was raised by malignant narcissic mother. After a particular event took place one of her public scenes of lies all lies told Abt me. Yet the judge literally didn't even consider my response to her accusations. To me common sense would tell anyone something was off beings our stories were so different. But he sided with her. I financially started getting over whelmed not being able to get the lawyer paid to play out the game. An my emotions have only kept me down rabbit holes ever since. I've been in this constant panic that I don't remember my reality right and I lsearched and I dig and I search and no answer is ever enough and I just always tell myself I need more facts. Not ever being able to stay settled on a conclusion for long before I feel I realize I see another angel that I need to fact check for me to feel my clarity on my sanity is solid is always found. Then I stuck back on self doubt and not able to get to a place I take action to stand up for myself and expose the truth of everything. Somedays I feel like the anxiety and high internal panic state has about fried my entire brain. I never thought about the fact I could be in a compulsive state of my OCD regarding the extreme self trust issues I have develope could be at play. It makes sence tho. No wonder I can't get to a logical place. This is crazy. I never considered him being rituals in the way. I was thinking about it but I guess not ever accepting an conclusion no matter the logic I come to. Is just like repeating a ritual. This is crazy I have wasted 8 years in this wreakage. Study often as I can about the mind. Ever since things got to a state where I got out of my head during my pregnancy and I was diagnosed w OCD. Which I always done rituals and counting. Just only my family and a couple teachers knew I was weird sometimes. In a small town no one said a word about memtal issues to me.. got way way extra in my pregnancy to the extreme. My whole life I done the counting and rituals and so on noth spiritually n germs. Then my self trust went out the window. I don't know how I even am alive anymore just from the literal exhaustion point I am at and been at for a few years now. I joke I am on borrowed time so I not easy to kill. Whenever I am trying to make light of a side comment from my family at times. Out of all the trickery and mind fucking I have had done to me. I now know I truly truly have been the biggest mind fucker to myself. I can't believe I ever thought the last 8 or so has been absorbed over the fears I might be wrong and dangerous to be around my kids. I have coping exercises for my OCD and medication and its a successful working program. I just never connected my paranoina about my reality being caught in a OCD cycle. I guess because it stemmes from a actual life event and the it wasn't the same unlogical ritual concept that I was doing. See my mom. Won't answer any question I ask about the situation. An now I understand that entire agenda as well. Oh my gosh everyone stays silent thats involved bc they realized what has been happening to me. They didn't have to argue with nothing and they got to watch me kill myself slowly and what is wrong with people. I don't even know how to comprehend what all is coming together for me tonight. I already knew it was so fucked I could never even get a conversation just so maybe I could get closure. I am an idiot. I am the only one that didn't realize I have been in a OCD cycle in my twist sick family. That's why I get the silent treatment after. Something cruel and dirty is done to me. Smh Thank you so much for this video! I am gonna need another 8 years to process everything. Smh I don't get how come so many therapists and psychologist don't pick up things nor actually explain to people what's happening to them. Maybe it hard to unless you have experienced mental issues. I could see that could be the case. But idk I am so grateful words can't even express my gratitude for unintentional coming across your videos tonight.
I just can't take HOCD anymore in my life There's always a huge anxiety of it combined in all the areas of my life and it can't keep me going on my own life because of the fear and anxiety of what is next and of if I'll lose it all😢😢😢 My life sucks and I can't go on anymore
Je t'aime💕🇲🇫Je t'aime💕🇲🇫I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭
Bro you feel false attraction with friends and have toughts that came up in your head but you said to your self how can I think that way feeling sensations pulse in your groin in anus get frustrated angry feels like your life has gone like you just want to your old self comback
I just want to say I've been watching you since I was a teenager I'm in my 20s now and you have helped me soo much with my ocd thanks you so much . ❤❤❤ your a lovely person who helps soo many people ever videos you make thanks you so much !!
Chrissie, thank you for continuing to save my life. when i was suic*dal and about to give up, i listened to your videos and came out of the rock bottom onto the other side. i still struggle, but am no longer bedridden and i make myself believe i deserve treatment. when i didn’t believe myself, i believed you and clung to your words like a lifeline. hope you take care of yourself
I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭
Thank you for this, its really nice to hear people talk about this stuff and their experiences. The brain seems to fear uncertainty, and OCD wants to make you afraid.... and so it keeps you in perpetual uncertainty. It feels as though even if you become convinced it is real and got rid of uncertainty that way, OCD would still send a what if to bring you back to uncertainty. Regardless thank you for this amazing video!
I have this new thought (I’m not looking for reassurance btw) where I should just be faking it, since I use a lot of social media and a lot of mental health content gets thrown at me I get these kind of people saying that some people must be faking it to not feel isolated from all this new people realizing they have idk adhd, autism, bpd etc and I actually believe it sometimes and it’s very difficult to not believe that I must be faking it and I just don’t want to face The Truth.
Je t'aime💕🇲🇫Je t'aime💕🇲🇫Je t'aime💕🇲🇫I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭
It’s quite an how people you trusted or respected ( family members, friends, etc) and you tell what you suffering from and they expose you all over and it hurts badly recently one of my family members told my parents I had harm ocd about them and it made me feel so hate for myself for having the thoughts and I felt so deeply hurt that you can’t even trust anyone with your situation without using your problems as a defense and trying to win a argument again one of other but this video made me so happy to see and I’m so proud to be back watching your videosss chrissie been a follower for almost a year. ( I hope ) keep the good work and make others feel happy and relaxed about they aren’t the only ones suffering from this illness 😊
Is it normal to start feeling disgust for the thing you actually like/want when you're hoping to be disgusted by the opposite thing/the thing you hope won't come true?
I’m so glad I’m not the only one who is feeling this! I know exactly what you mean. I feel a weird feeling of resistance or disgust and my jaw clenches up when I imagine being completely myself again or think about the things I really do love and it makes me freak out even more when I know I desperately want more than anything to be free from this and to be myself again and that I do still love and believe in all the same things I always have
Everytime i watch these videos i feel like they are not for me. Because its not ocd and im pretending it is and i feel like i shouldn't be here watching this video, im a fake and this is wrong. But nothing can relieve me like Hodges videos when the intrusive thoughts and urges get really bad. Just had harm OCD And feel like a monster again. I can never figure out if its real or not. But it seems more real than not. When i say its ocd i feel like im pretending. But i know thats part of the ocd disease and so i accept the suffering of perpetual uncertainty as the lot of having ocd. And i accept that i cannot accept that a lot of what i experience is OCD, or rather i cannot be convinced it is. It feels real..
Just caught up with last couple of videos. Very helpful as been struggling a bit lately with this stuff. Just wish I had a couple of local OCD people to meet and share. Attend online groups which are good but just no contact locally. Am in UK
Chrissie you think it means something about me if I been in a living hell for years now but at the same time I'm unable to just accept uncertainty? Cause I had intrusive thoughs of different things since I was like 13, but never developed any particular obssesion until 17 (2020 during the lockdown) ever since then I'm really scare cause I see how other people try to accept that they might be gay or bi, but I ever only try it once, and I think I felt relieve but something scared me again and so I went back to trying to prove I wasn't gay. I just think that, this has to be some form of denial cause why else would I torture myself like this, I mean, even you eventually accepted the worst outcome when you went to terapy, how can something scare me so much that I rather stay compulsively trying to prove it wrong rather than trying the erp so I can heal, even if If the fear ends up as a truth?
I'm 22(m) last 8 months of hocd almost convinced me of bisexual but why my brain is not giving me permission of enjoying the girls 100% (because i always only had crush on girls, never on boys) so why why why, I'm feeling this at 22?? I don't worry of my sexuality but why it's giving me feeling of attraction towards same gender who were always like brother's to me, i always felt rivalries, competition and brohood to male's never felt anything bisexual but why at age of 22 when i already set my morals as a straight male naturally. i listen about sexual fluidity but i can't beleive it i believe what i was in childhood and in teenage age...
I’m a 21 year old man and I’m having the exact same fear. It’s terrifying because it feels so real, I’m also scared I’m attracted to myself. I’ve been straight my whole life. And feel scared to ask a Woman I like out, because of my OCD worries. Godbless you mate, make sure to get some specialist OCD therapy. I’m looking into it myself at the moment.
What country do you live in? Have you tried looking at whether there's any free therapy for people with mental health conditions? If it's hard to come by OCD psychologists where you live, there's always online therapy if you have a computer? I believe you can also use phones as well. I'm really sorry about it being difficult where you live for therapy. Thanks for sharing your story it helps me know I'm not alone. 👍
I'm literally sitting alone on a Saturday night balling my eyes out when this video notification came up. I feel like no one knows how much I'm struggling.
i cried my whole way from work to home on that Saturday night too. feeling like nobody understands, and nobody in my life would get anything i’m going through. but that’s okay, because you are NOT alone. even if we’re on other sides of the world, someone out there is going through the same doubts as you. i hope our pain eases soon
We know. Every person who watches Chrissie's videos knows. You are not alone, we are all in this together.
I was crying yesterday too because of how much my ocd kills me. Don’t give up on life. Recovery from ocd is possible.
People that don’t have OCD have no idea how hard this actually is. But you’ve got us, a whole community that understands and is going through it alongside you. I hope that doesnt come across diminishing, just want you to know you are not alone! I hate talking about my ocd with people that haven’t gone through it. When I explain what’s bothering me it just sounds so ridiculous and nobody takes seriously how tormenting it actually is. Take care, I hope you have all the support you need ❤
@NoahStacksCups thank you. If you ever want to talk, I'm here. I really truly appreciate all of you. I'm not feeling much better today but hopefully I will. And you're right. I don't love talking about it with non ocd people because my fears sound so ridiculous but feel so real
Since I can't afford a therapist, you're a lifesaver. Thank you for all that you do.
i want to thank you for your videos. before i was diagnosed with ocd i was going through a really rough time navigating intrusive thoughts and believing they were real. i stumbled upon one of your videos while going down a research rabit whole and i have never felt more comforted, im so grateful i found your account as you put all of my thoughts and feelings into words.
thankyou :))
I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭
I was diagnosed with OCD like 12 years ago or so. I was raised by malignant narcissic mother. After a particular event took place one of her public scenes of lies all lies told Abt me. Yet the judge literally didn't even consider my response to her accusations. To me common sense would tell anyone something was off beings our stories were so different. But he sided with her. I financially started getting over whelmed not being able to get the lawyer paid to play out the game. An my emotions have only kept me down rabbit holes ever since. I've been in this constant panic that I don't remember my reality right and I lsearched and I dig and I search and no answer is ever enough and I just always tell myself I need more facts. Not ever being able to stay settled on a conclusion for long before I feel I realize I see another angel that I need to fact check for me to feel my clarity on my sanity is solid is always found. Then I stuck back on self doubt and not able to get to a place I take action to stand up for myself and expose the truth of everything. Somedays I feel like the anxiety and high internal panic state has about fried my entire brain. I never thought about the fact I could be in a compulsive state of my OCD regarding the extreme self trust issues I have develope could be at play. It makes sence tho. No wonder I can't get to a logical place. This is crazy. I never considered him being rituals in the way. I was thinking about it but I guess not ever accepting an conclusion no matter the logic I come to. Is just like repeating a ritual. This is crazy I have wasted 8 years in this wreakage. Study often as I can about the mind. Ever since things got to a state where I got out of my head during my pregnancy and I was diagnosed w OCD. Which I always done rituals and counting. Just only my family and a couple teachers knew I was weird sometimes. In a small town no one said a word about memtal issues to me.. got way way extra in my pregnancy to the extreme. My whole life I done the counting and rituals and so on noth spiritually n germs. Then my self trust went out the window. I don't know how I even am alive anymore just from the literal exhaustion point I am at and been at for a few years now. I joke I am on borrowed time so I not easy to kill. Whenever I am trying to make light of a side comment from my family at times. Out of all the trickery and mind fucking I have had done to me. I now know I truly truly have been the biggest mind fucker to myself. I can't believe I ever thought the last
8 or so has been absorbed over the fears I might be wrong and dangerous to be around my kids. I have coping exercises for my OCD and medication and its a successful working program. I just never connected my paranoina about my reality being caught in a OCD cycle. I guess because it stemmes from a actual life event and the it wasn't the same unlogical ritual concept that I was doing. See my mom. Won't answer any question I ask about the situation. An now I understand that entire agenda as well. Oh my gosh everyone stays silent thats involved bc they realized what has been happening to me. They didn't have to argue with nothing and they got to watch me kill myself slowly and what is wrong with people. I don't even know how to comprehend what all is coming together for me tonight. I already knew it was so fucked I could never even get a conversation just so maybe I could get closure. I am an idiot. I am the only one that didn't realize I have been in a OCD cycle in my twist sick family. That's why I get the silent treatment after. Something cruel and dirty is done to me. Smh Thank you so much for this video! I am gonna need another 8 years to process everything. Smh
I don't get how come so many therapists and psychologist don't pick up things nor actually explain to people what's happening to them. Maybe it hard to unless you have experienced mental issues. I could see that could be the case. But idk
I am so grateful words can't even express my gratitude for unintentional coming across your videos tonight.
I just can't take HOCD anymore in my life
There's always a huge anxiety of it combined in all the areas of my life and it can't keep me going on my own life because of the fear and anxiety of what is next and of if I'll lose it all😢😢😢
My life sucks and I can't go on anymore
You can keep living, don’t give up, recovery is possible . Seek help if you haven’t already.
Je t'aime💕🇲🇫Je t'aime💕🇲🇫I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭
Bro you feel false attraction with friends and have toughts that came up in your head but you said to your self how can I think that way feeling sensations pulse in your groin in anus get frustrated angry feels like your life has gone like you just want to your old self comback
I just want to say I've been watching you since I was a teenager I'm in my 20s now and you have helped me soo much with my ocd thanks you so much . ❤❤❤ your a lovely person who helps soo many people ever videos you make thanks you so much !!
Chrissie, thank you for continuing to save my life. when i was suic*dal and about to give up, i listened to your videos and came out of the rock bottom onto the other side. i still struggle, but am no longer bedridden and i make myself believe i deserve treatment. when i didn’t believe myself, i believed you and clung to your words like a lifeline. hope you take care of yourself
I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭
thanks so much for saving my life all the time
Thank you for this, its really nice to hear people talk about this stuff and their experiences. The brain seems to fear uncertainty, and OCD wants to make you afraid.... and so it keeps you in perpetual uncertainty. It feels as though even if you become convinced it is real and got rid of uncertainty that way, OCD would still send a what if to bring you back to uncertainty. Regardless thank you for this amazing video!
Thank you for your content. You’re saving lives.
I have this new thought (I’m not looking for reassurance btw) where I should just be faking it, since I use a lot of social media and a lot of mental health content gets thrown at me I get these kind of people saying that some people must be faking it to not feel isolated from all this new people realizing they have idk adhd, autism, bpd etc and I actually believe it sometimes and it’s very difficult to not believe that I must be faking it and I just don’t want to face The Truth.
It also doesn’t help that I use too much twitter and get this thought that if I avoid it then it must be a compulsion
Je t'aime💕🇲🇫Je t'aime💕🇲🇫Je t'aime💕🇲🇫I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭
It’s quite an how people you trusted or respected ( family members, friends, etc) and you tell what you suffering from and they expose you all over and it hurts badly recently one of my family members told my parents I had harm ocd about them and it made me feel so hate for myself for having the thoughts and I felt so deeply hurt that you can’t even trust anyone with your situation without using your problems as a defense and trying to win a argument again one of other but this video made me so happy to see and I’m so proud to be back watching your videosss chrissie been a follower for almost a year. ( I hope ) keep the good work and make others feel happy and relaxed about they aren’t the only ones suffering from this illness 😊
❤😊❤😊😊❤😊❤😊❤
Your videos are so good. You really are saving lives x
I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭
Is it normal to start feeling disgust for the thing you actually like/want when you're hoping to be disgusted by the opposite thing/the thing you hope won't come true?
I experience this specifically a lot. All of my symptoms have become feeling based. Dealing SO-ocd.
I’m so glad I’m not the only one who is feeling this! I know exactly what you mean. I feel a weird feeling of resistance or disgust and my jaw clenches up when I imagine being completely myself again or think about the things I really do love and it makes me freak out even more when I know I desperately want more than anything to be free from this and to be myself again and that I do still love and believe in all the same things I always have
Everytime i watch these videos i feel like they are not for me. Because its not ocd and im pretending it is and i feel like i shouldn't be here watching this video, im a fake and this is wrong.
But nothing can relieve me like Hodges videos when the intrusive thoughts and urges get really bad. Just had harm OCD And feel like a monster again. I can never figure out if its real or not. But it seems more real than not. When i say its ocd i feel like im pretending. But i know thats part of the ocd disease and so i accept the suffering of perpetual uncertainty as the lot of having ocd. And i accept that i cannot accept that a lot of what i experience is OCD, or rather i cannot be convinced it is. It feels real..
you are one powerful woman
epitome of courage and bravery
Just caught up with last couple of videos. Very helpful as been struggling a bit lately with this stuff. Just wish I had a couple of local OCD people to meet and share. Attend online groups which are good but just no contact locally. Am in UK
Thank you Chrissie 🙏
I’m so grateful for you and looking forward to my 1:1 with you soon. You have changed my life and continue to do so. Thank you for existing.
Chrissie you think it means something about me if I been in a living hell for years now but at the same time I'm unable to just accept uncertainty? Cause I had intrusive thoughs of different things since I was like 13, but never developed any particular obssesion until 17 (2020 during the lockdown) ever since then I'm really scare cause I see how other people try to accept that they might be gay or bi, but I ever only try it once, and I think I felt relieve but something scared me again and so I went back to trying to prove I wasn't gay. I just think that, this has to be some form of denial cause why else would I torture myself like this, I mean, even you eventually accepted the worst outcome when you went to terapy, how can something scare me so much that I rather stay compulsively trying to prove it wrong rather than trying the erp so I can heal, even if If the fear ends up as a truth?
I’m having the worst ocd and anxiety attacks of my life. I feel so alone and my bf is probably so tired of me.
What is the chance that my older sister Mary knows about my intrusive thoughts towards her, I’ve had ALOT of CLOSE CALLS with her in the past, OH MAN.
I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭I LOVE YOU 🤍💜😭
I'm 22(m) last 8 months of hocd almost convinced me of bisexual but why
my brain is not giving me permission of enjoying the girls 100% (because i always only had crush on girls, never on boys) so why why why, I'm feeling this at 22?? I don't worry of my sexuality but why it's giving me feeling of attraction towards same gender who were always like brother's to me, i always felt rivalries, competition and brohood to male's never felt anything bisexual but why at age of 22 when i already set my morals as a straight male naturally. i listen about sexual fluidity but i can't beleive it i believe what i was in childhood and in teenage age...
I’m a 21 year old man and I’m having the exact same fear. It’s terrifying because it feels so real, I’m also scared I’m attracted to myself. I’ve been straight my whole life. And feel scared to ask a Woman I like out, because of my OCD worries.
Godbless you mate, make sure to get some specialist OCD therapy. I’m looking into it myself at the moment.
@@jacobdevo9898 i can't afford therapy right now and also i don't think that there is any specialist of ocd in my country is available
What country do you live in? Have you tried looking at whether there's any free therapy for people with mental health conditions?
If it's hard to come by OCD psychologists where you live, there's always online therapy if you have a computer? I believe you can also use phones as well.
I'm really sorry about it being difficult where you live for therapy. Thanks for sharing your story it helps me know I'm not alone. 👍
@@jacobdevo9898 india