Rageaholic Cinema: THE SCORPION

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  • Опубліковано 12 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 567

  • @CriticalNobody
    @CriticalNobody 3 роки тому +101

    Don't mess with Jeff Foxworthy

  • @atomicamerican7
    @atomicamerican7 3 роки тому +295

    Movie? Awesome.
    Review? Even better.
    UA-cam? Shitheads.
    Reupload? Hundredth time's the charm.
    Am I going to watch it again? Hell yes.

    • @simplegarak
      @simplegarak 3 роки тому +23

      Ok he did do this review before? I thought my deja vu was just out of control.

    • @ScottBoydathome
      @ScottBoydathome 3 роки тому +16

      @@simplegarak You are not halucinating.

    • @ReinoldFZ
      @ReinoldFZ 3 роки тому +8

      I don't know if the previous one got copyright strike but I saw that one thrice xP although this is not exactly the same.

    • @eldermillennial8330
      @eldermillennial8330 3 роки тому +13

      @@ReinoldFZ
      Who in the feckless hell would WANT to lay claim to this stinker of a copyright?!?!

    • @mylifeisacomplexpastiche7901
      @mylifeisacomplexpastiche7901 2 роки тому +2

      Hotel? Trivago.

  • @flashthompson1085
    @flashthompson1085 3 роки тому +112

    I've watched this already?
    Dont care, watching again.

    • @GhostLink92
      @GhostLink92 3 роки тому +18

      Thank you, I thought I was suffering from some severe deja Vu.

    • @mikeehinger6566
      @mikeehinger6566 3 роки тому +10

      @@GhostLink92 It was probably © striked for the now skipping Scorpions intro.

    • @eldermillennial8330
      @eldermillennial8330 3 роки тому +4

      @@mikeehinger6566
      Seriously, who the hell owns the copyright and why aren’t they just as soon throwing it to the wind rather than admit to the embarrassment of having ever owned it? Why would they CARE?

    • @christopherconard2831
      @christopherconard2831 3 роки тому +2

      I figured it was Disney for that recorder Star Wars theme. They'll hit you with a strike for just saying "Ewoks in the Forest of Endor" even if it's a reference to my junk.

  • @BUTCH0120
    @BUTCH0120 3 роки тому +89

    Guy playing flute: absolutely no homoerotic undertones at all.

    • @ROOSTER333
      @ROOSTER333 3 роки тому +15

      I think this movie would actually be worse somehow without it

    • @josedorsaith5261
      @josedorsaith5261 2 роки тому +2

      At least it wasn't the skin-flute

    • @BUTCH0120
      @BUTCH0120 2 роки тому +3

      @@josedorsaith5261 Low bar, dude.

    • @FunkyGOB
      @FunkyGOB 2 роки тому +2

      It doesn’t help it was almost skin tone

  • @XodusFTW
    @XodusFTW 3 роки тому +96

    "Can you hit the lights "
    *smashing sound *
    "Can you kill the projector "
    *gun shot noise *
    That's some Naked Gun sound editing there.

  • @Dyslogix
    @Dyslogix 3 роки тому +39

    I'm pretty sure i'm returning my copy of The Scorpion, and demanding the remake with Razor's voice over.

  • @BestWayKilla
    @BestWayKilla 3 роки тому +153

    Due to this being reuploaded, I shall again posit the following query:
    Exactly what drugs were the writers of this movie on when they came to the conclusion that, for this action movie starring a first-time actor with an undeniably legit background as a world-class martial artist, instead of copious action scenes to show off his talents and hide his limitations as a thespian, what it *_really_* needed was a pace so slow continental drift would angrily pass it on the highway and more phone calls than all 5 seasons of The Wire? And as a follow-up, where might I procure some?

    • @sasavulic1236
      @sasavulic1236 3 роки тому +17

      tank god its a reupload,i thought i m in time loop again.

    • @FirstSpaceLord
      @FirstSpaceLord 3 роки тому +11

      @@sasavulic1236 you are still in the time loop

    • @sasavulic1236
      @sasavulic1236 3 роки тому +8

      @@FirstSpaceLord o my god not this again.

    • @suflanker45
      @suflanker45 3 роки тому +2

      @@FirstSpaceLord shit....

    • @Muck006
      @Muck006 3 роки тому +7

      Did anyone ever think Hollywood writers - the mass of them - ever made sense? They have been doing the OPPOSITE of writing good movies for the most parts, because "good" TAKES TIME ...

  • @strafe155
    @strafe155 3 роки тому +151

    The 80's was the last great decade for American pop culture, although the 90's did have its moments.

    • @kejiri3593
      @kejiri3593 3 роки тому +17

      I would say early 2000s "even though not everyone likes The Matrix" but when it opened to hipster low energy culture of 2013. It fell flat on its face. And now the government and entertainment industry is actually run by it. Sure there is gold if you seek here and there. But its not nearly as good interms of massive mainstream entertainment value as before 2013. Hopefully people will have enough of low energy potheads, hopefully. And edgelords will rise up again!

    • @spencerwilliams461
      @spencerwilliams461 3 роки тому +19

      Early 2000s pop culture was fun too. Loved the Star Wars prequels, Matrix films, Lord of the Rings films... Malcolm in the Middle.... I think a few years into 2010s we saw the unravelling of society. Seems like 2014 is where we started to see a lot of blatant insanity. And its just spiraled from there to where the world is today.

    • @The_Mighty_Fiction
      @The_Mighty_Fiction 3 роки тому +4

      The only moments the 90s had hung on past the 80s.

    • @cajunboi4888
      @cajunboi4888 3 роки тому +7

      Yep the 90s had shitty politics but great sports and some great bands like Alice in Chains,Pantera,Stone Temple Pilots and some classic films too.

    • @Jar0fMay0
      @Jar0fMay0 3 роки тому +2

      And Urkele

  • @jamesclint2338
    @jamesclint2338 3 роки тому +44

    “That’s some nice flutin boy.”

  • @jonathanmulondo9206
    @jonathanmulondo9206 3 роки тому +63

    The mid 70s to 80s really were a golden age of action movies

    • @MecanicalEnd
      @MecanicalEnd 3 роки тому +14

      Weren't those decades the golden age of *everything*?

    • @lennybrewster4673
      @lennybrewster4673 3 роки тому +1

      @@MecanicalEnd yes

    • @itaybron
      @itaybron 3 роки тому +5

      @@MecanicalEnd not gaming 😎

  • @bigbone1369
    @bigbone1369 3 роки тому +45

    This is one of the funniest movie reviews I've even watched. I was on the phone the entire time. Oh wait. I need to make a phone call.

  • @debonaire_nerd
    @debonaire_nerd 3 роки тому +80

    *"Tonny Tullenners dropped Chuck Norris"*
    *Steiner:* "that's a lie!"
    *Tonny:* "check the numbers"
    *Chuck:* "it's true....he must be some kind of genetic freak"

    • @Rezec75
      @Rezec75 3 роки тому +6

      Tell me more about genetic freaks.

    • @Saint_nobody
      @Saint_nobody 3 роки тому +8

      @@Rezec75 see: Scott Steiner.

  • @bestthingsinceslicedrice
    @bestthingsinceslicedrice 3 роки тому +8

    I know this is a reupload but damn it! The phone action on this movie makes a tele marketer blush watching this a second time is pure gold

  • @Gibberwocky
    @Gibberwocky 3 роки тому +35

    So glad to see this back on UA-cam. I had to go to Bitchute to find the episode to show it to friends a few weeks ago.

  • @protato911
    @protato911 3 роки тому +78

    And I thought this episode is a fever dream, glad to known that I am sane and youtube is beong youtube again.

    • @The_Mighty_Fiction
      @The_Mighty_Fiction 3 роки тому +7

      It kept getting pulled for copyright, apparently. It stayed up on Bitchute, though.

    • @cyclone8974
      @cyclone8974 3 роки тому +3

      I not sure what beong is but I bet youtube could fucking do it.

    • @B2Sr
      @B2Sr 3 роки тому +2

      Beong? What is that?

    • @asher8754
      @asher8754 3 роки тому

      Who is copywriting this?

    • @soyouresaying7814
      @soyouresaying7814 3 роки тому

      @@asher8754 The guy playing the flute.

  • @michaelwestmoreland2530
    @michaelwestmoreland2530 2 роки тому +5

    The lights and killing projector jokes are so damn on point. And so subtle. God. Your channel.

  • @MOE-db8oc
    @MOE-db8oc 3 роки тому +24

    Razor’s comments were hitting so hard, fast, and on point, I thought I was in a fight with Mike Tyson in his prime. Funny as hell. God F’ng Speed!

  • @michie666
    @michie666 3 роки тому +131

    Not even 5 minutes in and nearly choked laughing so hard 🤣

    • @MultiAlanR
      @MultiAlanR 3 роки тому +10

      I had to stop listening. I was walking the beach with earphones in and families enjoying the sun thought I was having a fit.

    • @alishakatherine3893
      @alishakatherine3893 3 роки тому +5

      Razor is always way too funny

    • @HighlanderNorth1
      @HighlanderNorth1 3 роки тому +2

      🤔 Laughing was the last thing on my mind, as the intensity of the drama and the rock-solid plot had me glued to the screen! I was so engrossed in each and every unpredictable plot twist, that I completely forgot about such things as laughter! This is surely THE BEST movie of all time, right up there with "Surf Nazis Must Die"! 😁

    • @michie666
      @michie666 3 роки тому +1

      @@HighlanderNorth1 I'd give you 2 likes for that if I could 😂

  • @Photonbreaker26
    @Photonbreaker26 3 роки тому +53

    We need more of this content. Keep it coming.

  • @epimetheaus1214
    @epimetheaus1214 3 роки тому +17

    The AI in this movie is indeed programmed by Kojima.
    RIP in peace flute dude.

  • @jeremiahdansereau2950
    @jeremiahdansereau2950 3 роки тому +4

    Glad to see you Re-Publish this one.

  • @PunxsutawneyDave
    @PunxsutawneyDave 3 роки тому +54

    "The peel...the curl..."
    Can't. Stop. Laughing.

    • @Red_Lanterns_Rage
      @Red_Lanterns_Rage 3 роки тому +3

      I hear that's a delicacy in the middle east......LMFAO!

    • @АъЪнт
      @АъЪнт 3 роки тому +5

      "It's hard dying. So feminist"

  • @cajunboi4888
    @cajunboi4888 3 роки тому +46

    With Superhero movies going the way of the westerns we need an 80s action film renaissance but we all know Hollywood is too pc to bring those films back.

    • @jonathanmulondo9206
      @jonathanmulondo9206 3 роки тому +10

      Don't give Hollywood any ideas. They will have those remakes starring 100 pound supermodels or butch ladies who for some unexplained phenomena can take on 200 to 300 pound dudes

    • @kejiri3593
      @kejiri3593 3 роки тому +1

      California was conservative back then wasnt it? Til 90s hit it

    • @EmergencyChannel
      @EmergencyChannel 3 роки тому +6

      Thanks to Reagan's amnesty bill, California has been blue ever since.

    • @cajunboi4888
      @cajunboi4888 3 роки тому

      @@jonathanmulondo9206 Yeah I know that.

    • @cajunboi4888
      @cajunboi4888 3 роки тому

      @@EmergencyChannel I'm pretty sure there's more reasons than that.

  • @deathground7766
    @deathground7766 3 роки тому +3

    Daughter and I had some quality family time watching this. Thank you.

  • @MarkAndrewEdwards
    @MarkAndrewEdwards 3 роки тому +8

    This was a fun Rageholic Cinema, great job on the editing/joke Terran.
    Thanks to both of you.

  • @pepperpeterpiperpickled9805
    @pepperpeterpiperpickled9805 3 роки тому +7

    08:34 I forgot how much I loved that sound effect.
    I hope you keep making these, mate. Theyre brilliant

  • @Sigilstone17
    @Sigilstone17 3 роки тому +86

    I'd love to see Razorfist do a series like Sleazy Pictures After Dark (basically Mystery Science Theater 3000 but with way shittier movies)

    • @MagpieDynamics
      @MagpieDynamics 3 роки тому +9

      We ought to petition Redlettermedia to have him guest star on Best of the Worst.

    • @motherurck7542
      @motherurck7542 3 роки тому +10

      @@MagpieDynamics not going to happen, their politics would get in the way

    • @tarjakitty
      @tarjakitty 3 роки тому +2

      @@motherurck7542 not if its al gore's movie. Fucking oooaaaffff.

    • @williamcorey4700
      @williamcorey4700 3 роки тому +1

      How about the original Night of the Demons

    • @RGC-gn2nm
      @RGC-gn2nm 3 роки тому +4

      @@motherurck7542 that guy has not been seen since his Twitter rant

  • @jakethesnake3593
    @jakethesnake3593 3 роки тому +3

    a rageaholic cinema? on my birthday?
    you spoil me razorfist team.

  • @billlosapio7571
    @billlosapio7571 3 роки тому +1

    Even your biting commentary can’t save this. Moving on.

  • @bsembach69
    @bsembach69 3 роки тому +2

    Thank you very much for taking the hit for the team in watching/reviewing this dreck...... :-P

  • @emanueliratliff4263
    @emanueliratliff4263 3 роки тому +29

    Movie reviews are back in force, I see. Wondermous.

  • @Marlena_M
    @Marlena_M 3 роки тому +11

    It's back!!! One of the best edited Razor vids!

  • @brendan722002
    @brendan722002 3 роки тому +6

    I love obscure action movies from the 70s and 80s.

  • @sudilos1172
    @sudilos1172 3 роки тому +10

    14:03 Each phone ring. Me imagining coming from a casio keyboard sound effect.
    Illicit's great spontaneous laughter.
    The Razor cut is definitely the way to watch "The Scorpion."

  • @Metatarsus0
    @Metatarsus0 3 роки тому +8

    I've watched this video three times now and I keep coming back fo--
    Hold on, the phone's ringing.

  • @joser421.1
    @joser421.1 3 роки тому +8

    Scorpions were always known for their phoning abilities.

  • @ThatJohnKillion1970
    @ThatJohnKillion1970 3 роки тому +6

    Tony Tulleners has the raw animal charisma of a Chia Pet.

  • @Ratkill9000
    @Ratkill9000 3 роки тому +33

    Do they pay this man with quarters? They must with this many phone calls.

  • @nkm901
    @nkm901 3 роки тому +26

    10:25
    .."they wanted to kill him"
    .."Why???"
    The answer should have been..
    .."so he would be dead" 😂

  • @trevorday7923
    @trevorday7923 3 роки тому +14

    That's a WEAPONS-grade moustache there, though

  • @austinboucher5286
    @austinboucher5286 3 роки тому +7

    ‘I just like to be present when things die.’🤣

    • @juresaiyan
      @juresaiyan Рік тому +1

      That was HILARIOUS 😂😂😂

  • @TheSaskOtaku
    @TheSaskOtaku 3 роки тому +22

    Oh shit, it’s back!

  • @CommisarHood
    @CommisarHood 3 роки тому +109

    Me: This Scorpion guy doesn't sound so tough.
    Razor: He dropped Chuck Norris three times in a fair fight.
    Me (Falls back in chair lays on floor with feet in the air.) I retract my last comment.

  • @dan8402
    @dan8402 3 роки тому +22

    I just laughed for 33 minutes straight!!!
    My wife is calling to have me committed, she can't understand why I am laughing so hard!
    😂😂😂😂
    🤟🤟🤟🤟 God fuckin speed!!!

  • @davidjonorato3554
    @davidjonorato3554 3 роки тому +7

    Razor thank you so much for this one I needed the laughs badly and you never disappoint. PLEASE DO THE OCTAGON!!!!

  • @Cracker_Barrel_Kidd_55
    @Cracker_Barrel_Kidd_55 3 роки тому +3

    I came for the karate. I stayed for the badass recorder solo.

  • @ariamaddison257
    @ariamaddison257 3 роки тому +5

    Thank you for bringing this classic back.

  • @trainerredcharizard7982
    @trainerredcharizard7982 5 місяців тому +1

    It is STUPID how many times i Love to Watch This Video..Razor should really do more of these old Action rip-off movies from the 70-80ties.
    Though Cinema Snob does that too

  • @pickl3dill
    @pickl3dill 3 роки тому +22

    You should do more of these “mystery science theatre” type shows. Not even being sarcastic I had some damn good laughs, thanks

  • @poeglives
    @poeglives 3 роки тому +5

    Almost choked when we hear "line...", perfect.

  • @butthz8850
    @butthz8850 3 роки тому +5

    I remember this one, and not with fondness. Perfect film to rip on. Thank you!

  • @tiavor
    @tiavor 3 роки тому +7

    I almost spewed a mouth full of water all over my desk when that "hit the lights" sound effect played.

  • @RavenHouseMystery
    @RavenHouseMystery 3 роки тому +3

    Phones answered! Cars parked! Mustaches grown! All this and more in the amazing adventures of the... Scorpion?

  • @mooseflunky4569
    @mooseflunky4569 3 роки тому +5

    This was probably one of the finest movie reviews I've seen in a long time. Several times, I found myself yelling "pssst!! ACT!" ala Strange Brew

  • @madmojo-im6jz
    @madmojo-im6jz 2 роки тому +4

    This guys acting ability make Chuck Norris look like Sidney Poitier

  • @onyxprime
    @onyxprime 3 роки тому +2

    "Bill, will you kill that projector? '
    *GUNSHOT
    *GOAT DIES
    Then I died of laughter.

  • @Dirtypool40-mk2
    @Dirtypool40-mk2 3 роки тому +6

    New RAGEAHOLIC CINEMA?!?!??!
    it must be my birthday. Wait... it's a rerun. :-(
    PLEASE GIVE US SOME NEW ONES!!

    • @cajunboi4888
      @cajunboi4888 3 роки тому +3

      I would like to see him do one for the Kick Assery that is The Delta Force and Lone Wolf McQuade.

  • @michelleadamchak1330
    @michelleadamchak1330 3 роки тому +22

    This movie looks like something Mystery Science Theater 3000 would riff on, and I would totally be there for it. However, Razor, you riffing on it is just as good.❤🦋💜 Love the Game of Thrones theme song......on the flute ffs.🤣

  • @williamcorey4700
    @williamcorey4700 3 роки тому +28

    I was wondering what happened to this review

  • @timbaumann9046
    @timbaumann9046 3 роки тому +5

    I haven't laughed this hard in years! Thanks RazörFist!!!

  • @palgameruk8996
    @palgameruk8996 3 роки тому +5

    That's some great editing 👍 had me screaming with laughter.

  • @MrBertieDastard
    @MrBertieDastard 3 роки тому +2

    The phone deserved all that screen time being the best actor in this movie

  • @jamesthompson7694
    @jamesthompson7694 3 роки тому

    Im so glad you reuploaded this! Its worth its weight in gold!

  • @Dylan-cu4ty
    @Dylan-cu4ty 3 роки тому +2

    Razor...we need more *Rageaholic Cinema.*

  • @adman1381
    @adman1381 3 роки тому +8

    Yes!!! A new installment of Rageaholic Cinema!!!

  • @juresaiyan
    @juresaiyan Рік тому +1

    The man crashing through the glass doors, followed by the wheelchair guy, had me dying 😂😂😂

  • @johngifford7725
    @johngifford7725 3 роки тому +2

    THIS MOVIE ONLY EVER EXISTED SO THAT THIS REVIEW COULD BE MADE.
    I'M NOT RAZORFIST, GODFUCKINGSPEED!

  • @Gillymonster18
    @Gillymonster18 2 роки тому +1

    God Bless your way with words, Razor.

  • @marcribaudo1965
    @marcribaudo1965 3 роки тому +3

    That shits hysterical. Man your good.

  • @christopherconard2831
    @christopherconard2831 3 роки тому +6

    The 70's did have a suspiciously large number movies and TV shows with "Car approaches a parking spot" scenes. I'm sure there was a reason beyond needing to stretch the run time and cocaine, but I can't think of a good one.

  • @maxg.hunter6784
    @maxg.hunter6784 3 роки тому +10

    This is a masterpiece!!!!

  • @EliteElk221
    @EliteElk221 3 роки тому +1

    Its a good day when Razör posts

  • @VooDoo11556
    @VooDoo11556 3 роки тому +3

    A new rageaholic Cinema!? today is good

  • @tobiasbracknagel4998
    @tobiasbracknagel4998 3 роки тому +2

    "Roof Nazis!" "Aaaww, vandalism." Stop it already Razor! My heart can't take any more pun. XD

  • @johnbowles5399
    @johnbowles5399 3 роки тому +23

    I just watched Game of Death and even though that was cobbled together five years after Bruce Lee's death, and is pretty cheesy in parts, it's still a top film with a shit ton of great martial arts action. Imagine that, this piece of shit film is even beaten by a film starring a dead guy.

    • @juresaiyan
      @juresaiyan 2 роки тому +1

      One of my favourite Martial arts movie

  • @stevenchamberlin01
    @stevenchamberlin01 3 роки тому +2

    Oh jeez I literally started laughing uncontrollably when you did the kojima bit to game of thrones flute song. Well played.

  • @DarthVader-1701
    @DarthVader-1701 3 роки тому +31

    I'd swear "flute guy" was in magnum P I's pilot episode(Don't eat the snow in hawaii) as magnum's naval buddy who dies.
    Update: Yep same actor.

  • @cjones29hd
    @cjones29hd 3 роки тому +2

    Scorpion is now being done by Marvel only the agent's name is called Stephanie Woods.

  • @nerddotcom5817
    @nerddotcom5817 3 роки тому +3

    Bruh, that Guilty Gears reference! "Heaven or Hell. Let's Rock!"

  • @johnathanjarrett63
    @johnathanjarrett63 3 роки тому +2

    You really need to do more of these... I haven't laughed this much in weeks.

  • @gern7535
    @gern7535 Рік тому +3

    Probably the greatest movie ever made.

  • @ls-420stoner6
    @ls-420stoner6 3 роки тому +2

    Damn, what shorts 😫 They'll haunt me forever

  • @rogerrowsdower2507
    @rogerrowsdower2507 3 роки тому +1

    Ears and Noses will be the Trophies of the Day.

  • @benstevens8281
    @benstevens8281 3 роки тому +1

    Escaped from the UA-cam memory hole, The Scorpio Review has.

  • @Wortheins
    @Wortheins 3 роки тому +11

    I cant anymore, my eyes are melting.. this shit is so bad Ryan Johnson asked the director for pointers for SW:TLJ. if it wasnt for Razor's commentary i wouldnt have gotten this far into it

  • @rishnix
    @rishnix 3 роки тому

    Nice to see Spoony finally upload a video.

  • @dirkjewitt5037
    @dirkjewitt5037 3 роки тому +3

    No Bernie Joke? That TCA guy is the spitting image, sounds like him to.

  • @DarthWampa_
    @DarthWampa_ 3 роки тому +1

    pretty sure this is a reupload, but it's nice to see again. Recently rewatched the older vids such as Cobra, Deathwish movies, and Dirty Harry movies.

  • @garyhall7867
    @garyhall7867 3 роки тому +1

    Hell yeah, I just left a comment on a different video, hoping this would be reuploaded. Most excellent

  • @jerickman
    @jerickman 2 роки тому

    The energy and enthusiasm in this review is magnificent

  • @TheBoomBoxGuru
    @TheBoomBoxGuru 3 роки тому +2

    Glad to see this series making a comeback 👍🏾👊🏾🔥

  • @bakkerdubaker
    @bakkerdubaker 3 роки тому +4

    I thought I was going nuts when I saw this pop up as a new video. Then I realized I was watching a review for Scorpion again and confirmed it.

  • @nslater1388
    @nslater1388 Рік тому

    Razorfist always catches me off guard with his wisecracks. What I wouldn’t give to be half as funny.

  • @generalgrudge
    @generalgrudge 3 роки тому +2

    Great video very funny sadly I watched it at work on my phone and there were more adds than Scorpion had phone calls!

  • @keldsports8337
    @keldsports8337 3 роки тому

    That parkade was so grungy, it made Highlander proud (which seems apt for this movie)

  • @asher8754
    @asher8754 3 роки тому +1

    Glad to see this back up

  • @j.j.hayden9461
    @j.j.hayden9461 3 роки тому +1

    You rock, Razorfist.

  • @justadudeh3re
    @justadudeh3re 3 роки тому +1

    Return of the king

  • @ubermalice9589
    @ubermalice9589 3 роки тому +3

    I'm experiencing some serious déjà vu! I'm sure I've done this before... don't get me wrong; I'm into it.
    It's good to know that because of Razorfist this film won't be forever lost in time, like... tears in rain. (time to die)

  • @grandetaco4416
    @grandetaco4416 3 роки тому +1

    9:11 I didn't know Zamfir was in this!
    13:37 Glad to see that William Katt is still working.