In the game I’m currently playing, I gave my character the noble background and told the DM that the family’s rank was up to him and I’d flesh out her backstory and family history accordingly. We get to Session Zero and I quickly notice that my character’s family name is now on the DM’s world map as one of the major kingdoms on the continent. I was abruptly put in charge of a rather noteworthy chunk of the world building, probably because I’d told him ahead of time that I have a tendency to write too much for my characters and he decided to capitalize on that. Needless to say, I am very invested in this current game.
This! I love this experience as a player. It's surprising but really rewarding when you get to flesh out elements of the world that your character inhabits and be tied directly into plot-relevant goings-on in the game by virtue of it. In the D&D campaign I joined a few months ago, I suggested based on my character's background that perhaps I used to work in the scriptorium of a temple to the god of knowledge, and that my mother was one of the priestesses there. The DM turned that into my family being the temple keepers and well-known members of the community who were close to many of the other temple keepers to other gods (who happen to be major NPCs/quest-givers). Instant investment in the game world, connection to NPCs, reasons to accept the call to adventure, etc.
I had something like this happen. A few sessions in the DM said basically "I need more of a plot for this, I don't know where to go." I told him here's what my character is looking for and hoping to accomplish. Here are some connections we might have asking the party (in particular, almost everyone had a connection to either they fey wild or shadow fell). We were able to put some stuff together.
YES!!! I’m “ blessed” to have 3 fun players . I told them it’s there world and they really want to travel it. I need yo break it down for you. A loxodon circle of the spores druid. A change Ling blood hunter order of the lycan, and a sharkin. Yes a sharkin. I told them if you can find a character break down out there you can run um. All this online as I’m a state away. Lol I even plan on each player being th main. Character. From the sea to the fry wild to material plane hopping we ate gonna go there. Btws. The loxodon is the only one in the world. He was pulled there after zuggtomy attacked ravnica and part of the counter attack was a enormous rift in reality breaking through the astral goo between material plane worlds. This is my first time playing in 35 years and I decided to do to most broke ass shit lol I’m insane!!! Having the most fun!! Do a session zero or your hero’s might be zeros.
We need to kill the concept that the session zero is the solution to all problems forever. They are very helpful. Problems can and will arise that session zero can't cover.
Session zero is one piece of the puzzle!! I think it's super important to remember, though, that conducting a great session zero does not magically make everyone who attends that session zero into the "right" players. That's why I specified that part of successfully communicating expectations is being willing to recognize if you've chosen players who are not a good fit!
@@GinnyDi The fact is the DM is always going to be more invested in the game regardless of the level of player engagement. The DM builds the world, sets the encounters, writes out stat blocks for all the monsters, keeps track of all the varied factions involved in the campaign and what they are doing at any given moment in the game. Just from the amount of time spent of the game--the DM is more invested. From the amount of creativity poured into a game--a DM is always more invested. Anytime a player wants to do something with their specific character, no matter how cool and creative, the DM has to engage with that idea to make it work. All of this combined translates to an emotional investment that you don't have when you are a player in a game. Are the players mere consumers---not at all. If a game goes on long enough, players get attached to their characters--first it's the excitement of trying a new concept, then they get involved in the growth arc, whether that's acquiring loot and experience, or fulfilling some longer term goal that has nothing to do with looting. There will eventually be stuff they want to do--setting up an orphanage, or establishing an adventures guild, or any number of things they can do to interact with he larger world around them. Even if all they are doing is hopping from one module to another, this usually takes place in my experience. That being said, players will sometimes lose interest in further adventure at about 7th - 9th level, when most of the monsters in the MM cease being a serious challenge. For classic adventuring, similar to Tolkien or Conan style stories, levels 1-6 is truly the sweet spot. You can take it beyond that, and many do--after level 12, it just gets bonkers. and the DM on reddit might have run into that wall, too.
this was my experience in my first game. No one was invested, and I was criticized for "not making the game more fun". The problem was no one knew what they wanted, they just knew I wasn't giving it to them. It felt like I was putting on a show, not playing a game. I went through 2 dnd groups before finally gelling with my third. Even when first playing with my current group, I had to learn that there is a difference between investing and hardcore roleplaying. I finally feel like I'm with a group that really appreciates what I do for them, and it makes a world of difference.
Holy smokes! I totally understand this feeling! It can be so difficult to even understand what you "want" in a game. It took me a pretty long time. I found myself with a lot of "roll-players" when I really wanted to "roleplay". So, now that I know this, I can better find people more suited to my gaming style.
First off, I'm glad you're with a much better group. The first group sounds like they needed to be left in the dust---most players, in my experience, give first time GMs a lot of slack, or at least they should. As for hardcore role playing, everyone has different comfort levels with that one--the DM needs to be a little flexible when it comes to this and meet players where they are at. Many folks aren't comfortable play-acting role play--unless you have some theater people in your group.
@@alexabel8010 Yeah, 5E D&D tends to be terrible for that, since it has such a large player base with varied interests, there's a significant chance you get a group whose preferences just don't align with yours. 5E D&D is in many ways the RPG without a true identity, because it tries to be many things to different people. This makes it a game that brings a lot of different players together but not always for the better.
Glad to hear you've found a group that appreciates your work!! I think that's a key piece of the puzzle: your party doesn't have to be *perfect* but you do have to feel like the compromises you make don't ruin your enjoyment of the game... and the positive feedback certainly helps too 🥰
What's worse is players who say they want X, but they won't actually engage in it when you do it. Sandboxes are the worst for this. A lot of players say they want it, but when they get it decision paralysis sets in.
I couldn't answer this question myself for a while, but eventually I found out that I really enjoy watching the player characters grow and experience new things. A player completing their personal quest, or finding that long-lost relative is just... *chefs kiss*
Yes!! I think this would have to be my honest answer too. Getting to see my party members have meaningful experiences while engaging with the world and characters I've created is the best feeling.
Day of session this week I made a new world map with a frickin mercator projection, a nice battlemap, a new party favorite NPC, and a ton of cool lore that somehow also required a ton of math. I keep saying I'm gonna get better at spreading out my prep and instead I just just keep getting better and better at cramming 😭
I actually had to cut our last session short because I had procrastinated until the DAY OF the session. I could see the disappointment on my players' faces, and I felt like shit. Not doing that again. I'm currently still 11 days out from our next session, and I'm having SO MUCH FUN prepping! This is the way, folks. You can be so much more creative, and add so much more depth to your scenarios when you aren't pressed for time.
Between this video and Matt Colville talking about how short adventures are the way to go over long campaigns... Man I wish I'd seen these before I built out my last game. Thank you for this, Ginny! You make my games better.
Literally every week when I sit down to prep, I put on Matt Colville videos in the background. He reminds me that DND is supposed to be fun, and if I let my anxiety drive, that is not the direction I end up going 😅
I do long campaigns, but I leave a lot of flexibility in the world and story and do not flesh them out very far in advance. This allows me to be responsive to player input and direction while still presenting something of epic scope.
Matt's video on different types of players would help here I think. It sounds like they were more audience members maybe with a splash of murder hobo and alot of DMs expect all players to be very active and I have found it isnt the case and when I accepted that my games got better
@@rikidog2682 Same! Again and again. His videos are a gold mine, and really takes you back into what's important instead of getting lost inside your own head and expectations.
One of the best campaigns I ever played in was a world where the DM created a port town and added some basic features. But then we players got to add our homes, bases of operation, and local features important to our characters. During the entire campaign we never ventured more than 100 miles from "our town". It was kind of an expanded "Keep on the Borderlands" type campaign. But we were invested in it. We owned businesses. We had to deal with pirates, bandits, corrupted grave sites and tombs, and eventually an invading orc army.
Loved the metaphors to other activities! That's how it is in my experience. I'm lucky that a couple of my best friends really enjoy RPGs, but not all of them do. And different styles, more light and comedic vs more crunchy or dramatic, just appeal to people differently so it's natural for the group to shift a bit depending on the game/campaign.
My favorite bit of advice for involving players in the creation of the dnd campaign world is to make their back stories the main story of the game. I like coming up with a setting that sparks their imagination and then getting together with them in order to create their individual stories that will weave together. Sure the stories are usually clunky and a bit soap opera-y. But when the evil king is the fighter's long lost brother that he hasn't seen in decades it's immediately more interesting than it just being an evil king
I'd add to that, that in my experience of 10 years+ Dming, I noticed, that clunkyness and "convenient relations" are totally fine 90% of the time. There is no audience, that can point out your plotholes. The only audience are your players and they WANT the BBEG to be their long lost brother.
This was eye opening, because I've always thought providing content was the GMs primary function. I did not consider that there were things both GMs and players could do to help one another make the experience better outside of session zeroes. Thank you for making a great series of videos that make me think!
I think that's been a historical problem that makes DMing feel like a LOT of hard work. I love giving my players responsibility to help keep them engaged but also lighten my workload!!
@@GinnyDi: A recent example in my campaign: The party ran into some hunters in search of a legendary beast (The Dune that Walks) as part of a periodic, ritual hunt important to their culture. This would entail them having some ritualistic things like formal greetings and whatnot. Rather than come up with some wording myself, I told a player who plays a gnome who comes from an archive of knowledge that his character would have heard of these Hunters and their ritual greeting and invited the player to come up with the wording. He did a great job coming up with something that I probably wouldn't have thought of while still incorporating my world-building. The fun kicker is that this character isn't always as competent as he thinks he is, so the player also suggested ways in which his character might botch the greeting, which of course was a nice role-play opportunity.
Oof. I felt this one. I have a good friend who was so excited to run a 5e game for us with her own bespoke world. Spent months writing out backgrounds, interweaved plot points, fleshed out NPCs, and a Big Mystery. It was amazing....and it tanked in three sessions because our group just doesn't do that. We roleplay but it's more Monty Python than Royal Shakespeare Company. She wanted the latter.
I dunno. I feel like silly characters have a place, even in a serious setting. Though Session Zero is a great time to talk about what sort of mood you want the campaign to have. Like, "Are we expecting Lord of the Rings or Looney Tunes?"
@@chrisg8989 But sometimes the DM is just excited about a concept, and I find that an excited DM is the best kind of DM. It's up to the players to decide if they're excited for the concept as well. Of course, the DM has to communicate the type of campaign they'd like to run well beforehand.
@chrisg8989 but good players also interact with what the dm presents to them, if the players just go completely off roads or start to trample the world (not saying that happened here) or if the interests of the group and the dm just clash, it stops being fun to dm too, its about cooperation sometimes it makes more sense to play in different groups that provide a better fit for the games everyone wants to play
@@chrisg8989: But the DM has the right to have fun as well. A good game has give-and-take between them, ending up with something much better than either could have imagined compared to if they had gone to one extreme or the other.
One thing to bear in mind as a DM, is that you may have spent weeks or even months preparing the setting for a new campaign, while, apart from may be an overview before the campaign and maybe during session zero, the first session will be the first time they get to interact with the world, so it could take them a few sessions to get the feel for the setting and warm up to it. Also, as Ginny says, as DM, you need to set expectations and the feel for the campaign before hand, and if you do not know already, what the players expectations are.
Yep! I've seen games struggle to get off the ground because the DM is just too excited to share all the complicated lore they've created. You may have players that really want to become invested in your world but feel overwhelmed with the amount of knowledge you're providing them with. You're so right that you need to 'warm them up' and help them experience the world manageable chunks. It's like trying to read a book and the first page is just an info dump - you're going to put that thing down pretty fast!
100%. It's easy to blame players and some of it is warrented, but it's also a little silly to expect people to be as enthusiastic a you as something that you put YOUR heart and soul into. The biggest thing I learned by being a player myself for a bit is that staying totally engaged all the time is... pretty tough, actually.
The hardest part I've run into is the 'kindness gap' where a player will sometimes prefer to not have fun and burn out than 'be mean' - and people often have a difficult time discerning the deference between rude and honest. I had a player tell me 'having fun' for 5 games, then heard 3rd party they were bored, addressed it with them (which initially was uncomfortable for them) then fixed it next session - but they had 4 'bad' games because of that communication gap.
A lot of people have a hard time saying "mean things" and end up being cruel through kindness. Constructive criticism is incredibly important, but can be very painful to give and recieve. (Especially to people we like and don't want to upset) The most recent time i had to give negative feedback was after our most recent session. Basically the bbeg was in custody and after giving his monologue used Eldridge blast on himself in the gap between being tied up and having antimagic cuffs put on. (Was originally a vitriolic sphere but that probably would have killed everyone) That entire scene felt incredibly railroaded/forced and ended the session early and was incredibly frustrating. The next day i told the DM to stop rushing through stuff when he's low on prep and just focus on moment by moment narration. Turns out he was already out of prep and was very unhappy with that scene too. Constructive criticism hurts to give but sometimes the person agrees with you and needs the reassurance to make changes. And sometimes they are immune to feeling bad about it and will gladly change to accommodate your request to whatever extent they can.
The best way to receive feedback is to explicitly ask for it. I've found that making a general question like "Did you guys enjoy the game?" will always bring an "Oh, yeah" from everyone. Nobody wants to be mean and it's a too broad question. Asking about specific things like "what do you think I can improve for the next game?", "are you enjoying this thing / story / rule?" or simply what they want to do next will give you a better understanding of what's going on.
As a player in the same situation, it's hard - because you know how much the DM already does for you, and because sometimes the other players completely disagree with you. So in my case, because I'm the only one who thinks that way, my choices are to deal with it or to not play at all. So I'm going to deal with it, because I do enjoy the game.
YES! This is something I've run into. I run a Ravenloft (Curse of Strahd) campaign for two different groups. Group A. are experienced RPG'ers , most of whom I've known for over thirty years. They love roleplay and emergent play, but also love slaying monsters, collecting magic items, etc. Group B. are most inexperienced with tabletop RPGs (for the most part) and have trouble, or seem to have little interest in roleplaying (one player even ROLLS A DIE to have his character make decisions), and rarely "engage" with the world other than to fight things, run from things, or fuck with stuff (i.e. "pranks" and goofy behavior doesn't really fit the tone of what's happening in game in that moment). It's frustrating, but I do think it has a lot to do with both experience with tabletop rpgs (which are very much not passive), and MORE experience with videogame rpgs (which are a more passive entertainment form). PS - During session zero and session 1, I tried to get the players in group B. to flesh out their characters backstories but barely got anything from them. Ten sessions in, they could barely even remember what they DID come up with, lol. They just have little to no interest in having their CHARACTERS engage in the campaign and treat the game very much as a passive type of entertainment. They never discuss what their characters plans are, never talk in-game or out-of-game about what they've learned, what their goals are (short term or long term, even with prompting) who they've met, what they've seen, etc. It's like starting from scratch every session, sigh.
@@GinnyDi Oh very much so! Been playing D&D/TTRPGs with those guys since the early 90s, back in the AD&D 2e days! Even running games for sub-par groups is experience to apply to future games; so it's a net win. 😀
I have a table like that, a bunch of friends with absolutely no experience with TTRPGs. I switched them over from 5e to Shadowdark to give them a more old school dungeon crawler with a lot less characters and a lot more poking dragons with a 10 foot pole. A lot less friction that way!
I've found that it's very common for new players to default to mostly goofing around in their first campaigns, at least for the first 6 or so sessions. We forget that roleplaying games do not come natural to most people. Goofing around and doing the dumbest thing that comes to mind might not be very in-character or genre-fitting but I'd argue it's incredibly important to the development of a player. It's like a toddler that wants to pick everything up and throw it off the table. You have to test the limits of what you can and can't do and see the consequences so you can understand how to move in the fictional space the game creates. I've observed that the goofing mindset continues until a major "oh ****" moment occurs. An NPC they like gets majorly hurt or dies, their shenanigans burn a bridge that can't be rebuilt, they stumble their way into being the only one who can solve a huge problem, etc. Then the player may still goof off sometimes but will start to see the potential of the medium and experiment with other tones.
Players building the world themselves is one of the best parts of being a DM; when new players suddenly do it's tremendously affirming, especially when it's different to what you've written.
Corollary: If you are a player and love what your DM is doing: Please tell them! Repeatedly! Speaking of which, you always give great advice on your videos Ginny, and I always enjoy watching them :) And your music videos are the best. I had both of my children singing your TPK song at Christmas this year.
I've had issues - mostly with inexperienced players - of players not really understanding that the DM is there to play and have fun too, and they're not just there to enable everyone else's fun. I've had a few campaigns fizzle out this way, but once I found a reciprocating group everything became much more enjoyable.
Know your party. Reward all engagement with plot hooks. Solicit feedback after every session. I prefer to do so obliquely, for instance, asking my players in one-on-one text messages what they though of another player's actions. This can easily lead to honest feedback. Last, but not least, improv, improv and improv. When a funny idea comes along, justify it and put it in the actual plot.
"Fighting and Looting" That is more than my players do. I often have them stand around and DO NOTHING. >Hey, the city is burning down, there is a giant portal with demons flooding in. A young girl in a very expensive dress and 4 knights with golden armor run out of the city, right past you. >I look at them. >okay, they keep running. One of the Knights asks you to come with them without stopping >I don't do them, I watch them leave and then look at the city >Civilians are being cut down and eaten by demons as the city burns down, with the portal above them not closing they had no chance. You can see the Magestower within the city >I watch it
i have one player like that. its fucking annoying, makes you wonder why they're there at all. Luckily everyone else picks up the slack for the most part.
@@zix1257 one player like that is probably there because they like hanging out with the group or with another player in their particular. (I have made huge strides in getting my fiancé to actually role play, or at least back up my role playing actions). But if the whole group is like that, something weird or toxic is going on.
I really agree with your point on world building with your players. I'm a huge fan of doing this. Some of my favorite tactics are to have my players come up with how their characters have interacted with places or events in the past and share it as an impromptu scene or story. For instance: "The last time one of you visited this town you got into a bad situation in the market. Who would like to share?" I try not to single out players since it sucks to be put on the spot and I try to leave the prompts fairly open. Maybe the rogue got caught stealing, maybe the barbarian got swindled by a snake oil salesman or maybe something happened to a character that lets them explore their character a bit. Maybe the cleric found their faith through this bad situation, maybe the warlock saw the love of their life with someone else and decided to bury their pain in their occult studies. Maybe the paladin lost her temper and trashed someone's shop, giving her something she feels guilty about. These are all opportunities to build up their characters and the world. The players remember the market where the bard got mugged and I now have a group of thieves that I can put into encounters, my market also now is dangerous to travel through at night. You just have to listen to what your players tell you and build off of it. "Yes and" the heck out of it. This works for traveling as well: "Two of you encounter something unusual while away from the group, you don't think the others will believe it but you're pretty sure you both saw it. Who would like to share?" This gives players a chance to roleplay to convince the others that they saw something wild or to be skeptical. Most importantly, it gives me as the DM something mysterious that two of the players have a reason to go after for future plot hooks. If the scene isn't great, that's fine. Not every scene will be a winner and you just move on to the next bit. But the more I've done this the more my players jump in and get creative. It takes some guts to take your hands off the wheel but it's a lot of fun when your players get to drive for a bit.
The most successful campaign my group has ever had was one where we had each player create their character's entire home nation. This could range from detailed worldbuilding to a list bullet-points. Either way, the DM built the entire world out of these nations. But that wasn't even the brilliant part. The brilliant part was the campaign's premise: the party discovers an external threat that plans to invade and conquer the continent. To stop it, they must travel to each nation and convince them to join an alliance.
Here to confirm that I don't post about my two campaigns which run absolutely great. I am way too busy prepping great content for players who actually care and are there for the same reasons as me. I already feel like bragging about it now so I wouldn't post. But we exist! Finding the right people takes patience, luck and as you said good communication about what you want.
Same here! I'm a player, but my room mate is GM and we have been playing the same campaing for 2 years, having small spin-offs and prequels sessions and stuff to flesh out a universe that we all build together. Wouldnt dream of changing my group.
I have a great table, and generally, we don't have any issues. But I've recently been dealing with insecurities about my GMing, which makes me panic and try to take control of everything, which is obviously not fun for the players, making the situation worse, and a downward spiral begins. What I'm trying to say is, I kinda needed this video right now. Thank you.
Have you communicated this with your players? Many people run into problems with feeling like they aren't doing as well as they could be while DMing. Though I can attest to the fact that it's very difficult: Talk to your players and trust that they tell you the truth. If they say you're doing great, great! If they say you could be doing better, ask for constructive criticism and don't take cheap shots to heart. It may even help in some cases to take a little break from DMing, perhaps have someone else take over for a bit, to realign with what you yourself enjoy about D&D. None of us are perfect, I certainly am not, but we do tend to over-analyze our flaws, while I'm certain you've been providing your party with much mirth and merriment even if you have trouble believing so at the moment!
@@marcelmittendorf833 You know, reading this reply, my initial reaction was that I'm constantly talking to my players, trying to get constructive criticism from them, wondering what works and what doesn't what needs improvement, and what worked really well. I'll admit, I'm not getting a lot from them on that front, other than "It was a fun session" sentiments. But the one thing I haven't talked to them about is my creeping insecurities.
@@nomennescio1737 In my experience, talking about my insecurities was the only way I could actually get over them. The first time, after 2 and a half years DMing, that I came out of a session thinking "Wow, I had fun, everyone seemed to have fun, that was great" was... transcendent. Unfortunately getting there was not easy at all. I sincerely hope you find a way beyond those insecurities, but knowing you have them is the first step. Voicing them, even here in the wild expanse of the internet, is a strong move in the right direction. At least it was for me, I am not a trained... anything.
@@nomennescio1737: It can be tough. In my experience, people aren't often very good at providing explicit cues as to who you're doing. And the problem with asking them for feedback is that it runs the risk of being contrived at that point, and not really sincere feedback. So you either have to think about ways you can do that without making them feel bad for criticizing (e.g. focus on what they feel is working, not on what they feel is not), or watch for the less explicit cues. When you elicit an emotional reaction to some development, that's always a great cue. Engagement and banter is another.
@@nomennescio17371 thing you can do is end a session by asking the players what they liked AND what they didn’t like. U can also do the whole, everyone give me 1 thing u liked and 1 thing you didn’t. I honestly wasn’t sure how they were taking being the honor guard during a wedding last session, where I kinda just skipped through the wedding ceremony itself, skipped the speeches at the reception, things of this nature. Probably saved myself a sore throat from talking continuously for an hour or more (and all the prep work I didn’t have to do!). They loved. Kept the game moving. But one of my players did mention that a GM he knows would totally have done the entire wedding. Which is realistic..but too much, for me and my players. But maybe for some groups, this is what they would enjoy. Admittedly, this method isn’t 100% foolproof for insecurities. Honestly, I think I feel more insecure when they DON’T tell me something they don’t like. But ask for specifics. Maybe you introduced a new mechanic, or a rarely used mechanic. Ask them specifically on that. Stress that their honesty is the best way for you to evolve into a better GM for them. Btw, many important things did happen with the PCs, just not during those big moments for the bride and groom.
My last campaign was the living incarnation of this great advice. I ran a bunch of games, even some long campaigns, before I finally started one with a session zero and helped everyone create characters with the direct connections to the world and to each other that THEY wanted. Basically, "I'm making dinner for you. What kind of food do you like?" That was the best campaign I ever ran. NOT because I was a genius storyteller, but because the players handed me the ingredients they wanted me to use and I did my best to make a meal that surprised them but still appealed to their appetites.
YES I always do this. In fact, I also require that my players make their_party_ together and an overarching goal. Whatever that is, that's what I'm focusing on and now they're driven by stuff that they themselves are interested in rather than me just handing them something.
This video makes me appreciate both the tables I play with, one as a player, and one as DM. Both groups are invested in the stories and worlds, and want to play the content the DM has. My players, when asked, told me they want to play what I provide for them, which is a homebrew campaign. The other table is a module with an awesome DM and made it pretty clear what the expectations are.
I use the "Start/Stop/Continue" method with my players: "What should we start doing that we aren't doing yet?" / "What are we doing that needs to stop?" / "What works that we need to continue doing?"
One year ago, I followed the guide you made about the session 0, before the start of my new custom game, with a whole new party. Well... On the 2 next sessions, we lost 2 players who said like "No thank you" and left the group. But, 4 other players stayed, and now we are about to play our 50th session together. The group dynamic is incredible, the backstories of their characters are amazingly deep now, and my world is very complete, thank to everyone's work. So yes, I have to say it : THANK YOU, GINNY DI ! Your guides are amazing, and help me a lot to dm my game.
Added note on item 2 (engage in worldbuilding): Sometimes, players need enough world pre-built in order to make character decisions. They need context to play in for that spark of inspiration. Which is to say, world building might be best done in phases. Start with some basic themes, territories, etc, get player investment, then weave new details in as the characters are introduced to it. Which sounds good, until you get players who need that extra push. "Oh, I don't want to ruin your world" can be pretty common from considerate players. You have to remind them it's a *shared* world, and they have a hand in crafting a fun experience. If, y'know, they want to. Definitely invite ideas but don't bully for them.
Can totally relate...I setup a session using the D&D intro campaign and it was a nightmare for me. People on their phones, talking over each other, missing details in the descriptions of their encounter/environment...it felt like I was babysitting a gradeschool classroom. The challenge is that there just isn't a pool of players to select from where I'm at in order to invite those who would best fit...and that it was nothing more complicated than the introl campaign...and the ADHD of them all couldn't handle it...I suppose all I should have done is walk them through the woods and have them run into a goblin camp...combat ensues. As it is, I gave it a second attempt which didn't fare much better and they literally had placed themselves in a spot where a TPW was gonna happen. I knew I was done when they started to argue about the rules or decisions I made as a DM that prevented them from exploiting the game to which their lvl 1 characters were enjoying three attacks and the like due to stuff they 'found' on forums. We ended the night...and I never completed the campaign and for all the preparation and learning I had to do in order to make this fun...or look like I knew some of what I was doing...well...it just wasn't fun for me. So, now I just paint minis and talk over stuff with the Mrs.
Yes!!! My first step in starting a campaign is to play something other than dnd, we play dawn of worlds to make the map and some background events and lore that way they feel more comfort and grounded in the lore when they write their character! Its great!
If there is one thing i've learned in all my years of DMing it's that sometimes hard to tell just how interested and invested your players are. I've had the opportunity a few times to stumble upon a player i thought didn't care about our last session telling a mutual friend just how much fun they had and how excited they are for the next session. Now yes, i wish they'd tell me that directly but i'm also glad they're excited about it and invested at all.
Compromise was a big part of me coming into my own as a GM. Finding the venn diagram between what my players what and what I enjoy delivering can be a difficult balance to find sometimes, but always worthwhile when you crack the code.
I've felt that pain at many tables. Both as a GM and as a player. But my current table (I'm the ST for a VtM game) is incredible! The players are all super invested in their characters and the RP interplay. They're even writing their own "fanfics" (which become canon, if the players and I agree it's reasonable.)
the brain rot is REAL! You're a great ST and extremely patient! I hate that you've had other tables not pour into the world as much as you do... and I'm glad we get to be a breath of fresh air!!!
My friend made her own world and gave us all an empire with 6 kingdoms each, we got to make the rulers and choose secrets for them, it made the game really fun.
Loved the video, especially the "The Players" segment! There's so much truth there. Sometimes, a player is just better fitted with a different GM, and you have to recognize when that's the case and communicate it in earnest. It was also nice to clarify that the world-building example is not a universal solution and is likely to not work at most tables, and it's true. Also, one fun fact - people are good at knowing if they liked something, but they're very unreliable at explaining why, and notoriously horrible at predicting what they'd enjoy before they do it. So, even if a player thinks they want X, there's a HUGE chance they're still disappointed and don't get invested. As a GM, though, you have the power to make everyone invested with almost anything you decide to run. Again, great video 👏
Fantastic video, Ginny! "What's the point of DMing" is a super thought provoking question that you got me really interrogating my own choices and style when DMing, in the best way possible. Also, your advice is super solid! Especially involving the players in the worldbuilding. Even if they only want to be involved to a very small extent, such as by adding some details about a location or an NPC as part of their backstory, I think it's a must!
The way you covered this topic was great, Ginny. Also that skit for this sponsor was great. I'm especially glad you mentioned not needing to burn people's flesh to get access to the maps. That's very important to me as a gamer.
As someone that was forced to DM or not play at all you are one of the most helpful people to help me learn what the heck to do and how to do it. Any tips for a baby silver dragon your party may have um adopted? Thank you so much for all your hard work and quality!
I introduced a cook off to our game. One of my players has the Chef feat and they played for the hand (literally and figuratively) of another player. The two characters have shown interest in a D&D romance, so this was an interesting mechanic. There were teams, they rolled to cut up dragon meat and magical veggies, and used combat spells to cook, or speed up the cooking process. They’re more invested in this than when they fought a two-headed dragon!
Thanks for the video. You make excellent points, especially the fact that not all friends make good D&D players. I have been DMing for about a year and 1/2 now, and I got fortunate with my group. I had played in a bunch of different games (as a player) with a lot of different people, and I knew a few people that best matched my play style, so when I started a campaign, I only reached out to those people. We built the world together, and so far, everyone has been very enthusiastic about the game, and the players are very invested in the story.
My solution is a difficult non-combat encounter they can realistically fail: "You enter the grounds of the villa, and see guests entering inside, their invitations checked by a steward. There is a lot of armed guards around, as you suspected from intel. A direct confrontation is a likely TPK. The necklace will go on auction later in the evening, according to the schedule given. Good luck." Essentially - replace the direct game mechanics (spell slots, action economy) by different game mechanics (using inventory / tools / utility spells / etc.) to achieve a (difficult) objective, rather than getting rid of the mechanics. Most players (IME) will adapt and will have even more fun. The downside is that, if any future encounter isn't as engaging, they'll be disappointed (also from experience).
I've faced these too issues in some of my games with my group. Campaigns quickly turned into players shuffling into the next room simply because it is the next or follow this lead because the dm wants us to go there next. What really helped me was shifting to a more open narrative/world. This has made my games far more collaborative, since I create set pieces/factions/the world and then the players use them to build their story. It has definitely made my time dming easier too since I don't need to supply my players with a grand movie-worthy story every week leading them from one plot point to the next. It's been a blast watching my players discuss whether or not to take a castle ruled by a shady lord, search for a rumored temple or join some raiders on their excursion inland. I can't wait to see where their decisions bring them (and the story) next.
Number 2 was so big for our game. I had a map and some arbitrary lines of nations, and nothing else. So each player named their origin, the culture, and the people that most commonly populated it. It was fun, it game me some different perspectives, and got them really invested.
What I do is always include the player's backstories and concepts into the main plot. I find that helping them craft the story and arc they want to see their character undergo makes them invested. It's a delight to watch their faces light up with joy/horror when flashes of it appear in game.
Posts like the one at the start of the video make me feel incredibly grateful for my players. They've never shown any interest in DND until I mentioned hosting a game for them a while ago, but in the few sessions we've had so far they are trying every option and we've already had many funny moments. One of my players loves shopping and even though it's such a small thing it's let me build the world up in ways that everyone loves
I love your second point (Player investment) Each player in my current campaign originally came up with a homeworld idea for their character (ie: Scifi style campaign). They could include as few or as many details as they wanted (town name, organizations, etc). It also gave me ideas as a DM of what worlds/setting they wanted to play in. If someone included a criminal underground organization backstory on an ice-covered world? Great, we're doing a campaign arc with this!
(Sorry for the length.) The first ever campaign I ran was one that I took over from a friend after he was experiencing burnout. I imagined something more story-heavy with lots of lore and character arcs, because that's what I was hoping for when I was previously a player. The players... mostly wanted lots of combat and PVP and preferred to speedrun the RP side of things. I GMed multiple campaigns and one-shots for this group, and it sort of felt like a chore at times. I mainly accepted that this is what being a GM is like. These days, I GM for a new group actually enjoys the RP and storytelling side of TTRPGs. They give me a lot to work with and play off of with their backstories, read the setting lore, and are quick to befriend NPCs. It was sort of mind-blowing to me that running a game could be like this. As cliche as it is to say, the difference was night and day. My current group comes up with thoughtful backstories, and my first one sometimes they couldn't be bothered to give their character a name. Mild disclaimer: it might seem like I'm presenting by old players as a nightmare, but let's be real-- I was not a good GM at all when I was starting out. I feel like my current are better at having a mutual stake in the campaign, but I also feel that I'm better at facilitating that than I used to be.
In my game currently (it's my first campaign ever and it's a homebrew [go big or go home, amirite]), I'm seeing that half of my players are introverts and don't have much to say. They don't usually play DND often and prefer more board games that go straight into combats. I notice they get engaged a heck of a lot more when I say roll initiative. The other two are eating.this.world.up. They're devouring and enjoying this five course meal, and I'm grateful for it. Your videos make me feel much more competent and confident that just because there are different styles of players doesn't mean I'm dm'ing wrong. I just need to do the best I can and try to have a good balance of roleplay and combat. Thank you for being you!!
I can definitely speak to the experience of having invested players being invested at different levels. A LOT of my players have been friends who are new players, like I was shortly before them. As a forever DM I’ve definitely gone crazy about it while most of my players have been more casual. But then, they have been new. A lot of the time, my games are focused on helping players learn how the game works by playing it, so being deeply invested in role-play usually comes later, and not yet in some. I love the idea of involving the players with world building! That sounds like it could work well for my groups!
I'm running my first campaign as a duet (First Blush) and during Session Zero, I asked my player what he was looking forward to most: combat, RP, or combat. It's helped me plan out a little more by fleshing out the NPCs a little more and not worrying about making sure there's a monster around every corner.
The fact that I just had this anxiety as a fresh new DM with a Homebrew story. I resonate with the fact that I have to manage my own expectations, as many of the players are also new to DnD. The option to "fuck around and find out" maybe doesn't come as naturally to some of them and I don't know what to do in situations where they are not biting at the bait I'm throwing at them (subtly).
Just came out of the experience of trying to pitch TTRPGs to one of my dear friend group (who's not the one I usually play with). In the session 0 I told them I only cared about telling a personal dramatic story together, and they said "yes", jumping on shooting character skeletons AND group ideas; flash forward 2 weeks (the deadline was 1 week) and noone has sent me their background yet. A month later noone had given me anything yet so I just let the whole thing die; I saved myself the trouble of wasting time doing pre-campaign prep and we are as much friends as we were before. I had seen the Pointy Hat video, so I knew beforehand! Not all your friends are D&D friends!
Oof alot of these points made sense, I'm restarting my campaign after nearly a year break this month. Looking at my old notes made me realize i have an amazing group mainly cause i assembled my group of 5 of vastly different people but whom all love D&D for different reasons. It makes for sessions that vary wildly in tone, from comedy swamp adventure were only one player knows they are being tricked and resulted in the funniest character interactions i've ever had, Or our Druid fully immersing himself in roleplay but so low-key that only i noticed, leading to a complete overhaul of the campaign's villain because he played himself so vunerable in the moment that i took advantage of to ramp up the drama, the table was actually stunned to slience when i ended the game. Let your player's run one-shots in your world it helps everyone feel more connected to your story doesn't have to be woven into the main plot but might provide an new item for the main campaign or an understanding of a location espcially if a characters backstory mentions it.
Oh and practical advice: in the latest episodes of Worlds Beyond Number (#24 and 25 as I write this) they did something I’m 100% stealing in my own campaign: getting players involved in worldbuilding with 3 pointed questions So for example, my players are about to do a party in a Druid grove, and I’m gonna ask the Druid: - what’s the central dish / drink - how does the grove decorate for events like this - who in the community really gets their chance to shine at an event like this
This is all such solid advice. I'm gonna be DMing my first homebrew campaign in 5E soon and I'm gonna take all of this on board. I was already planning on having my players each design part of the world, but this video has given me more ideas about how to approach them with that, as well as giving people an out if they don't feel like getting that involving in the worldbuilding.
One thing that helped me immensely while searching for my first group of players was the realization that potential players outnumber DMs dramatically, which meant I absolutely have the luxury to be picky. The first group I was put in contact with waited until I was on my way to the store for session zero to say they weren't sure they'd make it. (They chose the date/time). After 30 minutes of back and forth and them suggesting I go to their work for session zero, I decided these were not people I wanted to DM for and said no, thanks. On my second attempt, I posted an ad of sorts on the "looking for a game/players" channel of another store's discord, outlining who I was, how many players I was looking for, and a brief summery of my DM style. I brought in a list of three genre outlines I felt confident running for everyone to vote on, and actively encourage my players to add to the world, be it locations or people. There's a certain amount of luck involved to be sure, but I find knowing you're an in demand commodity and being upfront with what you're looking for in a game can help draw in the players you're looking for.
3:15 I ran into this very early in my D&D experience; in middle school I had 2 groups, one was my best friends from forever before, and the other was friends I had just met and were interested in D&D. I planned a huge complex story for my besties and for the more recent friends I just improvised as I went. I quickly noticed my besties were more into the hang out and kill monsters aspect of it, and the other were getting really into the story; so, I swapped their campaigns (without them knowing) and then we all had a great time. Now, 15 years later, my best friends are into the story so I am fortunate have the best of both worlds, but we still have an occasional hack and slash one shot.
I think I’ve been very lucky with my players. We were all brand new to the game when we first got the group together, and our first campaign was honestly not as good as it could have been. However, we all learned from our mistakes, talked to each other like adults, and I think everyone’s having a lot more fun with our current campaign.
I had a very similar experience. You see at school I wanted to start a D&D club. So I invited three of my friends. Two of them as you said were “foodies.” but number three was not even paying attention at all. He was running around the room, not paying attention and just being a fun person to play with. This reminds me of that and now I know that I should probably invite people who are foodies
Here's another tip to get players to engage with plot: Mile stone leveling. Let them level to 3-5 fairly easy as you see fit, but after level 5 they only get levels when dealing with main story or backstory plot
Loved this, gave me some additional ideas to keep my friends engaged! They're all newer players and I'm a first-time DM, so I've been giving them a lot of peeks behind the screen so they have some insight into why I'm doing what I'm doing. I also periodically check in with them because expectations can change. If they decide they just want a "monster-of-the-week" type game, I'm happy to shift gears with them.
So glad this came up finally because my group wanted to play but everyone including myself has constantly been procrastinating whether it’s character sheets or just me trying to get session 0 down for 5th time
Enjoying the D&D we have is excellent advice. Paying attention to the parts of DMing/session prep I enjoy helps to balance out those which feel more like a chore. Remembering things don’t have to be perfect helps when I’m feeling overwhelmed. Our campaign started in 2018- next session will be #134.
I loved this video and feel the OP pain, I have had a lot of non D&D friends in the last few of years suddenly get interested in it without knowing that it can take effort on their part for the game to be really successful. Sometimes it just doesn't work and like you say its important to know that's ok. However, it is totally possible to turn a party of combat loot hoarders into role-players, so would encourage people not to give up on them and be flexible with the plot. Introduce them to the consequences of their actions (in a way that doesn't stop them having fun). If they ignore the warnings of the town oracle and go off killing goblins in a nearby cave instead of helping them fend off bandits, maybe have the bandits steal the item they were saving up for (or going to steal) in town. Or incentivise them to engage with NPC's by getting them to prove they are the hero's who defeated the Gnoll terrorising the village to get a discount or other reward. One of best ones I have had was putting in a little goblin that they kind of accidentally saved, but then bonded with over time. Most people are not monsters so don't just kill cute things in front of them for no reason. So, they had something to protect and also made them start to question if the next goblin encampment might be his family or not, making them more inclined to start talking with NPC's. The first 5 - 6 months of that game were slow (largely because I didn't know how to DM for them) but it lasted over two years and has some of my all time favourite moments in it.
Good video. Maybe people don't intuitively think of DMing as the same as "making or creating" but I think it congruent in at least one respect and worth warning people about. "Making or creating" for the sake of recognition and approval from others as the primary motivating factor will always be a gamble. You are setting yourself up for big potential disappointment. Even if you do get what you desire from others the first time around the pressure will always be there to do it again, every time, and even better than the last time. The first time you don't hit, you will feel it. Worst case scenario, you lose interest in a creative exercise you could've kept loving. When making anything its important to spend a little time introspecting about why you are doing it and what you are looking for in the act itself. If its precious to you, take care to make is sustainable less you inadvertently rob yourself of future-joy.
I've been getting excited about DC20 lately and was just thinking about, "What if players helped to create extra characters as NPCs?" I'm excited about making characters in a new system, especially those that would actually have a class, but I think it would be cool to have a selection made by others that the DM could pool from as appropriate, and I feel like a great way to do that is to ask players to provide them (expecting they will be non-PC characters, so they know it should be ideas they don't mind passing off, might be adjusted, and won't have an immediately recognizable name to tip them off that it's the same/similar character). I personally feel like I'd be excited to realize that a character I'm interacting with as a PC is actually one that I suggested, and the room for the DM to adjust still means I wouldn't know for sure what they can do or what they're like. Your "include players in worldbuilding" suggestion reminded me of this. I think open and frequent communication is key, though, in case a player decides they want to take back ownership of their creation.
Nice. Right on all points, especially the expectations part. One thing to mention is to appreciate what you have too. I've got a great table - they're exhausting and frustrating, but fun. And while I am by no means the perfect DM, I do my best and they acknowledge that. This probably comes with experience, though, and the countless number of less-fun groups I've had to wade through to find the players that fit well.
I really love the idea of having players collaborate on the intentional set-up and world building. I wouldn’t have thought of that as an option but it makes me more excited to return to a TTRPG if I can share in the world as a co-creator and not just a player entering into the world.
LOVE your point about including players in worldbuilding! I've found this works even if you're using official content - my first campaign was a homebrew story but took place in Faerun, but I still added a few homebrewed towns and cities and let the players fill in on some of the details. One of them built her whole hometown from the bottom up and it really made her (and others at the table) invested in the part of the story that took us there. I would also HUGELY recommend The Quiet Year ttrpg by Buried Without Ceremony, which was used for TAZ Ethersea if anyone else is a McElroy fan here. It's literally a worldbuilding game, and I ran it twice with two groups of players for two new campaigns and everyone got SO crazily invested in not only what was happening while we played TQY, but also what would happen *after* when we jumped into the actual campaign. It's of course not a perfect fit for every game, but it's a really great jumping off point (and just a fantastic game by itself, too!)
Hi Ginny, big fan. I bought the calendar for this year, and I just wanted to say that I really love the quests! They've been really fun and have actually gotten me to leave my comfort zone and do some stuff that is good for me to do, but I just haven't prioritized in past years. Mariska is this month, and I'm already planning to have some friends over to chat and play games. I hope you do the quests again next year! Keep up the great work, always love the videos and calendars.
my group is starting a new campaign this friday! our first campaign was completely homebrewed and the world was created by my dm and for this campaign he expressed wanting to run a module. so he gave a us options and the group landed on running Waterdeep Dragon Heist. it was a fun way for all of us to choose our next campaign and how we wanted to play. i love my group so much cause we have a good mix of combat addicts and role play lovers and he has expressed liking the challenge of creating something for our large group to enjoy
You have completely described things I've experienced lately. I enjoy playing D&d. Period. I am in a few different groups, a couple very heavy role play, 1 very combat oriented. Two of the RP sessions are very different due to the player involvement in each. I dont mind changing play modes according to which group im with. But i do know that some of the other players could not exist in the worlds of the other sessions. So all that to say thank you. You are so intellectual and such an amazing person.
It's my firstime playing Dnd, while our session 1 has yet to begin, our DM, and my dear friend, has been doing a great job at keeping everyone involved. Being a new player, I was overwelmed with worldbuilding and creating backstory. She helped me come up with a goal for my character (I'm a druid half-orc who lives in the forest and is besties with all the animals, yet I am looking for a cure as the forest starts to get sick with disease). Now I get the joy of making up tones of forest animals, giving them names and traits- all while knowing that she might kill them off and living in constant fear- sound insane, but I'm loving it! The big point in our session zero was discussing worldbuilding and our overall connections. Someone in our group is a soldier and they spent a lot of time diving into a battle between nations, another one got to makeup a diner he owns- it's just a great inclusion of all of us and the various feelings we all have about the game. All thus to say is that I'm loving my group (especially my DM, thank you Lara) and I will sob if any of my animals die, so tissues will be brought to sessions alongside my dice.
As a DM, I don't have expectations of the outcome. I plan the framework of the scenario and let the players interact. I will attempt to react organically to the players' actions, adjudicating the situations. They can't go off-script if there's no script in the first place. If they go murderhobo and loot, then so be it, the world in context will react accordingly. If they want to chill out in town for a full RP session... then that's what the session will be. As a DM like to see what happens and I like to be surprised -that's where I get the most satisfaction, not so much of having players run through my meticulously crafted narrative.
It's a good way to run it but I can see how some DMs might find it quite draining that they can't make the decisions about the game they're creating. Glad you've found something that works for you though!
I've DM'd this way and you absolutely can still make decisions and have a hand in what happens. You still have constructed the world, the framework, and you have NPCs on the ground. It feels more like co-creating than anything, and no planning sessions end up wasted. 😊
Amen. It's so much less stressful to just set up the sandbox, some moving hooks and rumors, and then let them loose. The world is still curated to the framework I want, with massive "story" events moving in the background, but session prep never feels wasted because the players are making the majority of the "content."
I created a couple google forms for my players to fill out to create their characters! I had them create their hometown, family/backstory, and character traits and goals. It was really fun to make and I think it helped prompt in depth character backstories since they just had to answer the questions instead of start from scratch! One thing I particularly liked was giving the players an option to create a myth or cryptid from their hometown and they came up with really fun creatures and stories I can't wait to use later! :)
As a five course DM, I really needed this advice three years ago when running a game for one five course player amidst a bunch of cocktail players. Looking back, I'm kind of amazed that it lasted two years, although the price I paid was very steep both mentally and emotionally. Pointy Hat's "not all your friends can be D&D friends" was also sound wisdom that I sadly had to learn the hard way. I haven't run a campaign since our group broke up, and I honestly don't know when or if I will again. Losing a campaign your poured your heart and soul into feels like losing a part of yourself, and I'm still grieving for it. I don't know if I'm ready to be that vulnerable again. I do miss campaign prep though.
8:25 Thank you Editor Ginni. Yes, I tried this with one of my players, after 3 months(!) of asking him about his home town and him ignoring it, I built a town and sent to him. Asking, can you please at least "come up with your family members?". After 4-5 more weeks finally he replied with his parents names, and a sister. Only the sister had any description to her. Can you guess what that description was? "Magic item merchant". You can see what the player was trying to do here. LoL. Anyway, the player dropped out soon after and we never get to go to his hometown.
i'm preparing my first campaign as a dm (i've been a player for 3 years) and your videos are so thoughtful and inspiring! creating a fun experience for me and my players seems so much more about communication that it did before, lol
The Kids on Bikes approach to setting building, where the players help build the small town everything happens in during Session Zero, is possibly my favorite approach to player-assisted world building. I highly recommend giving it a look!
Can confirm, just because you are friends doesn't mean you'll appreciate the same thing in the same way. My long-running table recently had two of my close friends drop out of the game simply because it wasn't fun anymore for them. We still do other things together, but what they wanted out of the game no longer lined up with what we had. It's still hard, because the game was genuinely better with them in it, but ultimately everyone needs to choose for themselves how they spend their time, and just because people have different ideas on that does not mean they are any less for it.
i always just level with my party to trust me that the framework i have is tailored with their tastes in mind and respects their freedom in that framework as well as including some choices theyve made in the past im lucky in that my party are willing to trust me to at least entertain some story beats and that my party like any party are a bunch of animals but are thirsty for a storyline i never deny it but i always remind them if im not prepared im down for whatever but id love to do what they want to do next session when im prepared it creates an easy dynamic where they choose to discuss big decisions on their own to make for a more satisfying story that they chose and feel more free to fuck around with the easier things that im at least contextually ready to improvise
Any time I'm in a homebrew game I explore the fck out of every nook and cranny, even if I'm not engaged, because - exactly - the DM poured their heart into it and deserves a bit of respect and appreciation for their hard work.
I had to learn this lesson the hard way. I'm very much a world builder with extensive backstory and big narratives...and one of my friends that helped start the first game I ever led was much more 'I want to goof off and loot monster lairs' the campaign ended in flames and almost made me stop dming altogether. Fortunately, I've found a new group that largely loves the same kind of game that I do. If you and a player like two different styles of dnd...make sure you address it. Never ignore it.
In the game I’m currently playing, I gave my character the noble background and told the DM that the family’s rank was up to him and I’d flesh out her backstory and family history accordingly.
We get to Session Zero and I quickly notice that my character’s family name is now on the DM’s world map as one of the major kingdoms on the continent.
I was abruptly put in charge of a rather noteworthy chunk of the world building, probably because I’d told him ahead of time that I have a tendency to write too much for my characters and he decided to capitalize on that.
Needless to say, I am very invested in this current game.
This! I love this experience as a player. It's surprising but really rewarding when you get to flesh out elements of the world that your character inhabits and be tied directly into plot-relevant goings-on in the game by virtue of it.
In the D&D campaign I joined a few months ago, I suggested based on my character's background that perhaps I used to work in the scriptorium of a temple to the god of knowledge, and that my mother was one of the priestesses there. The DM turned that into my family being the temple keepers and well-known members of the community who were close to many of the other temple keepers to other gods (who happen to be major NPCs/quest-givers). Instant investment in the game world, connection to NPCs, reasons to accept the call to adventure, etc.
I had something like this happen. A few sessions in the DM said basically "I need more of a plot for this, I don't know where to go." I told him here's what my character is looking for and hoping to accomplish. Here are some connections we might have asking the party (in particular, almost everyone had a connection to either they fey wild or shadow fell). We were able to put some stuff together.
That's cool and all, but the other players probably feel less valued due to your agency over the world. I'd never do something like that.
@@BusinessWolf1 The other players are being treated the same. One of them reportedly has forty pages written while mine isn’t nearly as long.
Session Zero is important to find the right types of players for different types of games.
YES!!! I’m “ blessed” to have 3 fun players . I told them it’s there world and they really want to travel it. I need yo break it down for you. A loxodon circle of the spores druid. A change Ling blood hunter order of the lycan, and a sharkin. Yes a sharkin. I told them if you can find a character break down out there you can run um. All this online as I’m a state away. Lol I even plan on each player being th main. Character. From the sea to the fry wild to material plane hopping we ate gonna go there. Btws. The loxodon is the only one in the world. He was pulled there after zuggtomy attacked ravnica and part of the counter attack was a enormous rift in reality breaking through the astral goo between material plane worlds. This is my first time playing in 35 years and I decided to do to most broke ass shit lol I’m insane!!! Having the most fun!! Do a session zero or your hero’s might be zeros.
We need to kill the concept that the session zero is the solution to all problems forever. They are very helpful. Problems can and will arise that session zero can't cover.
@@jamesnought7489 re-session zero. Lol
Session zero is one piece of the puzzle!! I think it's super important to remember, though, that conducting a great session zero does not magically make everyone who attends that session zero into the "right" players. That's why I specified that part of successfully communicating expectations is being willing to recognize if you've chosen players who are not a good fit!
@@GinnyDi The fact is the DM is always going to be more invested in the game regardless of the level of player engagement. The DM builds the world, sets the encounters, writes out stat blocks for all the monsters, keeps track of all the varied factions involved in the campaign and what they are doing at any given moment in the game. Just from the amount of time spent of the game--the DM is more invested. From the amount of creativity poured into a game--a DM is always more invested. Anytime a player wants to do something with their specific character, no matter how cool and creative, the DM has to engage with that idea to make it work. All of this combined translates to an emotional investment that you don't have when you are a player in a game.
Are the players mere consumers---not at all. If a game goes on long enough, players get attached to their characters--first it's the excitement of trying a new concept, then they get involved in the growth arc, whether that's acquiring loot and experience, or fulfilling some longer term goal that has nothing to do with looting. There will eventually be stuff they want to do--setting up an orphanage, or establishing an adventures guild, or any number of things they can do to interact with he larger world around them. Even if all they are doing is hopping from one module to another, this usually takes place in my experience.
That being said, players will sometimes lose interest in further adventure at about 7th - 9th level, when most of the monsters in the MM cease being a serious challenge. For classic adventuring, similar to Tolkien or Conan style stories, levels 1-6 is truly the sweet spot. You can take it beyond that, and many do--after level 12, it just gets bonkers. and the DM on reddit might have run into that wall, too.
The dinner and drinks comparison was actually surprisingly helpful for me to visualize the concept in my head lmao
Mine as well.
this was my experience in my first game. No one was invested, and I was criticized for "not making the game more fun". The problem was no one knew what they wanted, they just knew I wasn't giving it to them. It felt like I was putting on a show, not playing a game. I went through 2 dnd groups before finally gelling with my third. Even when first playing with my current group, I had to learn that there is a difference between investing and hardcore roleplaying. I finally feel like I'm with a group that really appreciates what I do for them, and it makes a world of difference.
Holy smokes! I totally understand this feeling! It can be so difficult to even understand what you "want" in a game. It took me a pretty long time.
I found myself with a lot of "roll-players" when I really wanted to "roleplay". So, now that I know this, I can better find people more suited to my gaming style.
First off, I'm glad you're with a much better group. The first group sounds like they needed to be left in the dust---most players, in my experience, give first time GMs a lot of slack, or at least they should. As for hardcore role playing, everyone has different comfort levels with that one--the DM needs to be a little flexible when it comes to this and meet players where they are at. Many folks aren't comfortable play-acting role play--unless you have some theater people in your group.
@@alexabel8010 Yeah, 5E D&D tends to be terrible for that, since it has such a large player base with varied interests, there's a significant chance you get a group whose preferences just don't align with yours. 5E D&D is in many ways the RPG without a true identity, because it tries to be many things to different people. This makes it a game that brings a lot of different players together but not always for the better.
Glad to hear you've found a group that appreciates your work!! I think that's a key piece of the puzzle: your party doesn't have to be *perfect* but you do have to feel like the compromises you make don't ruin your enjoyment of the game... and the positive feedback certainly helps too 🥰
What's worse is players who say they want X, but they won't actually engage in it when you do it. Sandboxes are the worst for this. A lot of players say they want it, but when they get it decision paralysis sets in.
I couldn't answer this question myself for a while, but eventually I found out that I really enjoy watching the player characters grow and experience new things. A player completing their personal quest, or finding that long-lost relative is just... *chefs kiss*
Yes!! I think this would have to be my honest answer too.
Getting to see my party members have meaningful experiences while engaging with the world and characters I've created is the best feeling.
The real point of DMing is to increase my capacity to procrastinate planning.
This is the true answer
Day of session this week I made a new world map with a frickin mercator projection, a nice battlemap, a new party favorite NPC, and a ton of cool lore that somehow also required a ton of math. I keep saying I'm gonna get better at spreading out my prep and instead I just just keep getting better and better at cramming 😭
I actually had to cut our last session short because I had procrastinated until the DAY OF the session. I could see the disappointment on my players' faces, and I felt like shit. Not doing that again. I'm currently still 11 days out from our next session, and I'm having SO MUCH FUN prepping! This is the way, folks. You can be so much more creative, and add so much more depth to your scenarios when you aren't pressed for time.
That used to be me but I like to prep now although 😆
Wait... You plan?
"To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their dice."
Almost Pratchett? :)
Perfect.
"vimin"
This is the way.
@@streganona5544Conan the Barbarian I believe
Between this video and Matt Colville talking about how short adventures are the way to go over long campaigns... Man I wish I'd seen these before I built out my last game.
Thank you for this, Ginny! You make my games better.
Literally every week when I sit down to prep, I put on Matt Colville videos in the background. He reminds me that DND is supposed to be fun, and if I let my anxiety drive, that is not the direction I end up going 😅
I do long campaigns, but I leave a lot of flexibility in the world and story and do not flesh them out very far in advance. This allows me to be responsive to player input and direction while still presenting something of epic scope.
Matt's video on different types of players would help here I think. It sounds like they were more audience members maybe with a splash of murder hobo and alot of DMs expect all players to be very active and I have found it isnt the case and when I accepted that my games got better
@@rikidog2682 Same! Again and again. His videos are a gold mine, and really takes you back into what's important instead of getting lost inside your own head and expectations.
*me over here with my 60+ sessions over two years and my players salivating for more*
Uhm...hi? I don't know what happened, but it's working?
One of the best campaigns I ever played in was a world where the DM created a port town and added some basic features. But then we players got to add our homes, bases of operation, and local features important to our characters. During the entire campaign we never ventured more than 100 miles from "our town". It was kind of an expanded "Keep on the Borderlands" type campaign. But we were invested in it. We owned businesses. We had to deal with pirates, bandits, corrupted grave sites and tombs, and eventually an invading orc army.
Loved the metaphors to other activities! That's how it is in my experience. I'm lucky that a couple of my best friends really enjoy RPGs, but not all of them do. And different styles, more light and comedic vs more crunchy or dramatic, just appeal to people differently so it's natural for the group to shift a bit depending on the game/campaign.
Hey ginny I’m new to dnd and you have been so helpful. Thank you 🙏
So glad to hear that!! Hope you're enjoying it so far 🥰
My favorite bit of advice for involving players in the creation of the dnd campaign world is to make their back stories the main story of the game. I like coming up with a setting that sparks their imagination and then getting together with them in order to create their individual stories that will weave together. Sure the stories are usually clunky and a bit soap opera-y. But when the evil king is the fighter's long lost brother that he hasn't seen in decades it's immediately more interesting than it just being an evil king
I'd add to that, that in my experience of 10 years+ Dming, I noticed, that clunkyness and "convenient relations" are totally fine 90% of the time. There is no audience, that can point out your plotholes. The only audience are your players and they WANT the BBEG to be their long lost brother.
This was eye opening, because I've always thought providing content was the GMs primary function. I did not consider that there were things both GMs and players could do to help one another make the experience better outside of session zeroes. Thank you for making a great series of videos that make me think!
I think that's been a historical problem that makes DMing feel like a LOT of hard work. I love giving my players responsibility to help keep them engaged but also lighten my workload!!
@@GinnyDi: A recent example in my campaign: The party ran into some hunters in search of a legendary beast (The Dune that Walks) as part of a periodic, ritual hunt important to their culture. This would entail them having some ritualistic things like formal greetings and whatnot. Rather than come up with some wording myself, I told a player who plays a gnome who comes from an archive of knowledge that his character would have heard of these Hunters and their ritual greeting and invited the player to come up with the wording. He did a great job coming up with something that I probably wouldn't have thought of while still incorporating my world-building. The fun kicker is that this character isn't always as competent as he thinks he is, so the player also suggested ways in which his character might botch the greeting, which of course was a nice role-play opportunity.
Oof. I felt this one. I have a good friend who was so excited to run a 5e game for us with her own bespoke world. Spent months writing out backgrounds, interweaved plot points, fleshed out NPCs, and a Big Mystery. It was amazing....and it tanked in three sessions because our group just doesn't do that. We roleplay but it's more Monty Python than Royal Shakespeare Company. She wanted the latter.
Seems like campaigns generally last 1d4 sessions before it falls apart.
I dunno. I feel like silly characters have a place, even in a serious setting. Though Session Zero is a great time to talk about what sort of mood you want the campaign to have. Like, "Are we expecting Lord of the Rings or Looney Tunes?"
@@chrisg8989 But sometimes the DM is just excited about a concept, and I find that an excited DM is the best kind of DM. It's up to the players to decide if they're excited for the concept as well.
Of course, the DM has to communicate the type of campaign they'd like to run well beforehand.
@chrisg8989 but good players also interact with what the dm presents to them, if the players just go completely off roads or start to trample the world (not saying that happened here) or if the interests of the group and the dm just clash, it stops being fun to dm too, its about cooperation
sometimes it makes more sense to play in different groups that provide a better fit for the games everyone wants to play
@@chrisg8989: But the DM has the right to have fun as well. A good game has give-and-take between them, ending up with something much better than either could have imagined compared to if they had gone to one extreme or the other.
One thing to bear in mind as a DM, is that you may have spent weeks or even months preparing the setting for a new campaign, while, apart from may be an overview before the campaign and maybe during session zero, the first session will be the first time they get to interact with the world, so it could take them a few sessions to get the feel for the setting and warm up to it.
Also, as Ginny says, as DM, you need to set expectations and the feel for the campaign before hand, and if you do not know already, what the players expectations are.
Yep! I've seen games struggle to get off the ground because the DM is just too excited to share all the complicated lore they've created.
You may have players that really want to become invested in your world but feel overwhelmed with the amount of knowledge you're providing them with. You're so right that you need to 'warm them up' and help them experience the world manageable chunks. It's like trying to read a book and the first page is just an info dump - you're going to put that thing down pretty fast!
100%. It's easy to blame players and some of it is warrented, but it's also a little silly to expect people to be as enthusiastic a you as something that you put YOUR heart and soul into. The biggest thing I learned by being a player myself for a bit is that staying totally engaged all the time is... pretty tough, actually.
@@colbyboucher6391 for you only need to have a warhammer fantasy setting and i'm engaged
The hardest part I've run into is the 'kindness gap' where a player will sometimes prefer to not have fun and burn out than 'be mean' - and people often have a difficult time discerning the deference between rude and honest.
I had a player tell me 'having fun' for 5 games, then heard 3rd party they were bored, addressed it with them (which initially was uncomfortable for them) then fixed it next session - but they had 4 'bad' games because of that communication gap.
A lot of people have a hard time saying "mean things" and end up being cruel through kindness. Constructive criticism is incredibly important, but can be very painful to give and recieve. (Especially to people we like and don't want to upset)
The most recent time i had to give negative feedback was after our most recent session. Basically the bbeg was in custody and after giving his monologue used Eldridge blast on himself in the gap between being tied up and having antimagic cuffs put on. (Was originally a vitriolic sphere but that probably would have killed everyone) That entire scene felt incredibly railroaded/forced and ended the session early and was incredibly frustrating. The next day i told the DM to stop rushing through stuff when he's low on prep and just focus on moment by moment narration. Turns out he was already out of prep and was very unhappy with that scene too.
Constructive criticism hurts to give but sometimes the person agrees with you and needs the reassurance to make changes. And sometimes they are immune to feeling bad about it and will gladly change to accommodate your request to whatever extent they can.
The best way to receive feedback is to explicitly ask for it. I've found that making a general question like "Did you guys enjoy the game?" will always bring an "Oh, yeah" from everyone. Nobody wants to be mean and it's a too broad question. Asking about specific things like "what do you think I can improve for the next game?", "are you enjoying this thing / story / rule?" or simply what they want to do next will give you a better understanding of what's going on.
As a player in the same situation, it's hard - because you know how much the DM already does for you, and because sometimes the other players completely disagree with you. So in my case, because I'm the only one who thinks that way, my choices are to deal with it or to not play at all. So I'm going to deal with it, because I do enjoy the game.
@@LordofFullmetal mileage will vary by dm & table - but I'm always a proponent of talking with the dm - though it may be best as an aside.
YES! This is something I've run into. I run a Ravenloft (Curse of Strahd) campaign for two different groups. Group A. are experienced RPG'ers , most of whom I've known for over thirty years. They love roleplay and emergent play, but also love slaying monsters, collecting magic items, etc. Group B. are most inexperienced with tabletop RPGs (for the most part) and have trouble, or seem to have little interest in roleplaying (one player even ROLLS A DIE to have his character make decisions), and rarely "engage" with the world other than to fight things, run from things, or fuck with stuff (i.e. "pranks" and goofy behavior doesn't really fit the tone of what's happening in game in that moment).
It's frustrating, but I do think it has a lot to do with both experience with tabletop rpgs (which are very much not passive), and MORE experience with videogame rpgs (which are a more passive entertainment form).
PS - During session zero and session 1, I tried to get the players in group B. to flesh out their characters backstories but barely got anything from them. Ten sessions in, they could barely even remember what they DID come up with, lol. They just have little to no interest in having their CHARACTERS engage in the campaign and treat the game very much as a passive type of entertainment. They never discuss what their characters plans are, never talk in-game or out-of-game about what they've learned, what their goals are (short term or long term, even with prompting) who they've met, what they've seen, etc. It's like starting from scratch every session, sigh.
Oof it's tough having such a clear comparison between the two groups! I hope you're still enjoying your time with Group B though
@@GinnyDi Oh very much so! Been playing D&D/TTRPGs with those guys since the early 90s, back in the AD&D 2e days!
Even running games for sub-par groups is experience to apply to future games; so it's a net win. 😀
I have a table like that, a bunch of friends with absolutely no experience with TTRPGs. I switched them over from 5e to Shadowdark to give them a more old school dungeon crawler with a lot less characters and a lot more poking dragons with a 10 foot pole. A lot less friction that way!
you should run Paranoia with the second group
I've found that it's very common for new players to default to mostly goofing around in their first campaigns, at least for the first 6 or so sessions. We forget that roleplaying games do not come natural to most people. Goofing around and doing the dumbest thing that comes to mind might not be very in-character or genre-fitting but I'd argue it's incredibly important to the development of a player.
It's like a toddler that wants to pick everything up and throw it off the table. You have to test the limits of what you can and can't do and see the consequences so you can understand how to move in the fictional space the game creates.
I've observed that the goofing mindset continues until a major "oh ****" moment occurs. An NPC they like gets majorly hurt or dies, their shenanigans burn a bridge that can't be rebuilt, they stumble their way into being the only one who can solve a huge problem, etc. Then the player may still goof off sometimes but will start to see the potential of the medium and experiment with other tones.
Players building the world themselves is one of the best parts of being a DM; when new players suddenly do it's tremendously affirming, especially when it's different to what you've written.
Corollary: If you are a player and love what your DM is doing: Please tell them! Repeatedly!
Speaking of which, you always give great advice on your videos Ginny, and I always enjoy watching them :) And your music videos are the best. I had both of my children singing your TPK song at Christmas this year.
Hell yeah - First time DM lately and gobbling up ALL the DM advice.
Gl and have fun. ❤
I've had issues - mostly with inexperienced players - of players not really understanding that the DM is there to play and have fun too, and they're not just there to enable everyone else's fun. I've had a few campaigns fizzle out this way, but once I found a reciprocating group everything became much more enjoyable.
Yep!! Unless you're being paid to DM, it's as much about you having fun as anyone else 🙌🙌
Know your party.
Reward all engagement with plot hooks.
Solicit feedback after every session. I prefer to do so obliquely, for instance, asking my players in one-on-one text messages what they though of another player's actions. This can easily lead to honest feedback.
Last, but not least, improv, improv and improv. When a funny idea comes along, justify it and put it in the actual plot.
"Fighting and Looting"
That is more than my players do. I often have them stand around and DO NOTHING.
>Hey, the city is burning down, there is a giant portal with demons flooding in. A young girl in a very expensive dress and 4 knights with golden armor run out of the city, right past you.
>I look at them.
>okay, they keep running. One of the Knights asks you to come with them without stopping
>I don't do them, I watch them leave and then look at the city
>Civilians are being cut down and eaten by demons as the city burns down, with the portal above them not closing they had no chance. You can see the Magestower within the city
>I watch it
Oh wow. They do know which game they're playing, right??
This sounds like their characters (and by extension, them) are psychopaths who enjoy watching the world burn.
i have one player like that. its fucking annoying, makes you wonder why they're there at all. Luckily everyone else picks up the slack for the most part.
A hooded figure comes up to the party and takes their gold and silver ... *doom music kicks in*
@@zix1257 one player like that is probably there because they like hanging out with the group or with another player in their particular. (I have made huge strides in getting my fiancé to actually role play, or at least back up my role playing actions). But if the whole group is like that, something weird or toxic is going on.
I really agree with your point on world building with your players. I'm a huge fan of doing this. Some of my favorite tactics are to have my players come up with how their characters have interacted with places or events in the past and share it as an impromptu scene or story. For instance:
"The last time one of you visited this town you got into a bad situation in the market. Who would like to share?"
I try not to single out players since it sucks to be put on the spot and I try to leave the prompts fairly open. Maybe the rogue got caught stealing, maybe the barbarian got swindled by a snake oil salesman or maybe something happened to a character that lets them explore their character a bit. Maybe the cleric found their faith through this bad situation, maybe the warlock saw the love of their life with someone else and decided to bury their pain in their occult studies. Maybe the paladin lost her temper and trashed someone's shop, giving her something she feels guilty about. These are all opportunities to build up their characters and the world. The players remember the market where the bard got mugged and I now have a group of thieves that I can put into encounters, my market also now is dangerous to travel through at night. You just have to listen to what your players tell you and build off of it. "Yes and" the heck out of it.
This works for traveling as well:
"Two of you encounter something unusual while away from the group, you don't think the others will believe it but you're pretty sure you both saw it. Who would like to share?"
This gives players a chance to roleplay to convince the others that they saw something wild or to be skeptical. Most importantly, it gives me as the DM something mysterious that two of the players have a reason to go after for future plot hooks.
If the scene isn't great, that's fine. Not every scene will be a winner and you just move on to the next bit. But the more I've done this the more my players jump in and get creative.
It takes some guts to take your hands off the wheel but it's a lot of fun when your players get to drive for a bit.
The most successful campaign my group has ever had was one where we had each player create their character's entire home nation. This could range from detailed worldbuilding to a list bullet-points. Either way, the DM built the entire world out of these nations.
But that wasn't even the brilliant part. The brilliant part was the campaign's premise: the party discovers an external threat that plans to invade and conquer the continent. To stop it, they must travel to each nation and convince them to join an alliance.
Here to confirm that I don't post about my two campaigns which run absolutely great. I am way too busy prepping great content for players who actually care and are there for the same reasons as me. I already feel like bragging about it now so I wouldn't post. But we exist! Finding the right people takes patience, luck and as you said good communication about what you want.
Same here! I'm a player, but my room mate is GM and we have been playing the same campaing for 2 years, having small spin-offs and prequels sessions and stuff to flesh out a universe that we all build together. Wouldnt dream of changing my group.
I have a great table, and generally, we don't have any issues. But I've recently been dealing with insecurities about my GMing, which makes me panic and try to take control of everything, which is obviously not fun for the players, making the situation worse, and a downward spiral begins.
What I'm trying to say is, I kinda needed this video right now. Thank you.
Have you communicated this with your players? Many people run into problems with feeling like they aren't doing as well as they could be while DMing. Though I can attest to the fact that it's very difficult: Talk to your players and trust that they tell you the truth. If they say you're doing great, great! If they say you could be doing better, ask for constructive criticism and don't take cheap shots to heart. It may even help in some cases to take a little break from DMing, perhaps have someone else take over for a bit, to realign with what you yourself enjoy about D&D. None of us are perfect, I certainly am not, but we do tend to over-analyze our flaws, while I'm certain you've been providing your party with much mirth and merriment even if you have trouble believing so at the moment!
@@marcelmittendorf833 You know, reading this reply, my initial reaction was that I'm constantly talking to my players, trying to get constructive criticism from them, wondering what works and what doesn't what needs improvement, and what worked really well.
I'll admit, I'm not getting a lot from them on that front, other than "It was a fun session" sentiments.
But the one thing I haven't talked to them about is my creeping insecurities.
@@nomennescio1737 In my experience, talking about my insecurities was the only way I could actually get over them. The first time, after 2 and a half years DMing, that I came out of a session thinking "Wow, I had fun, everyone seemed to have fun, that was great" was... transcendent. Unfortunately getting there was not easy at all. I sincerely hope you find a way beyond those insecurities, but knowing you have them is the first step. Voicing them, even here in the wild expanse of the internet, is a strong move in the right direction.
At least it was for me, I am not a trained... anything.
@@nomennescio1737: It can be tough. In my experience, people aren't often very good at providing explicit cues as to who you're doing. And the problem with asking them for feedback is that it runs the risk of being contrived at that point, and not really sincere feedback. So you either have to think about ways you can do that without making them feel bad for criticizing (e.g. focus on what they feel is working, not on what they feel is not), or watch for the less explicit cues. When you elicit an emotional reaction to some development, that's always a great cue. Engagement and banter is another.
@@nomennescio17371 thing you can do is end a session by asking the players what they liked AND what they didn’t like. U can also do the whole, everyone give me 1 thing u liked and 1 thing you didn’t.
I honestly wasn’t sure how they were taking being the honor guard during a wedding last session, where I kinda just skipped through the wedding ceremony itself, skipped the speeches at the reception, things of this nature. Probably saved myself a sore throat from talking continuously for an hour or more (and all the prep work I didn’t have to do!).
They loved. Kept the game moving. But one of my players did mention that a GM he knows would totally have done the entire wedding. Which is realistic..but too much, for me and my players. But maybe for some groups, this is what they would enjoy.
Admittedly, this method isn’t 100% foolproof for insecurities. Honestly, I think I feel more insecure when they DON’T tell me something they don’t like. But ask for specifics. Maybe you introduced a new mechanic, or a rarely used mechanic. Ask them specifically on that. Stress that their honesty is the best way for you to evolve into a better GM for them.
Btw, many important things did happen with the PCs, just not during those big moments for the bride and groom.
A friend rolled a homebrew otterfolk character “connected to the otterfolk mob” so now otterfolk organized crime will always be present in my games
Otterfolk in newsie caps and vests asking shopowners for their protection fee
My last campaign was the living incarnation of this great advice.
I ran a bunch of games, even some long campaigns, before I finally started one with a session zero and helped everyone create characters with the direct connections to the world and to each other that THEY wanted. Basically, "I'm making dinner for you. What kind of food do you like?"
That was the best campaign I ever ran. NOT because I was a genius storyteller, but because the players handed me the ingredients they wanted me to use and I did my best to make a meal that surprised them but still appealed to their appetites.
YES I always do this. In fact, I also require that my players make their_party_ together and an overarching goal. Whatever that is, that's what I'm focusing on and now they're driven by stuff that they themselves are interested in rather than me just handing them something.
This video makes me appreciate both the tables I play with, one as a player, and one as DM. Both groups are invested in the stories and worlds, and want to play the content the DM has. My players, when asked, told me they want to play what I provide for them, which is a homebrew campaign. The other table is a module with an awesome DM and made it pretty clear what the expectations are.
I use the "Start/Stop/Continue" method with my players: "What should we start doing that we aren't doing yet?" / "What are we doing that needs to stop?" / "What works that we need to continue doing?"
One year ago, I followed the guide you made about the session 0, before the start of my new custom game, with a whole new party. Well... On the 2 next sessions, we lost 2 players who said like "No thank you" and left the group. But, 4 other players stayed, and now we are about to play our 50th session together. The group dynamic is incredible, the backstories of their characters are amazingly deep now, and my world is very complete, thank to everyone's work. So yes, I have to say it : THANK YOU, GINNY DI ! Your guides are amazing, and help me a lot to dm my game.
Added note on item 2 (engage in worldbuilding): Sometimes, players need enough world pre-built in order to make character decisions. They need context to play in for that spark of inspiration.
Which is to say, world building might be best done in phases. Start with some basic themes, territories, etc, get player investment, then weave new details in as the characters are introduced to it.
Which sounds good, until you get players who need that extra push. "Oh, I don't want to ruin your world" can be pretty common from considerate players. You have to remind them it's a *shared* world, and they have a hand in crafting a fun experience. If, y'know, they want to. Definitely invite ideas but don't bully for them.
Can totally relate...I setup a session using the D&D intro campaign and it was a nightmare for me. People on their phones, talking over each other, missing details in the descriptions of their encounter/environment...it felt like I was babysitting a gradeschool classroom. The challenge is that there just isn't a pool of players to select from where I'm at in order to invite those who would best fit...and that it was nothing more complicated than the introl campaign...and the ADHD of them all couldn't handle it...I suppose all I should have done is walk them through the woods and have them run into a goblin camp...combat ensues. As it is, I gave it a second attempt which didn't fare much better and they literally had placed themselves in a spot where a TPW was gonna happen. I knew I was done when they started to argue about the rules or decisions I made as a DM that prevented them from exploiting the game to which their lvl 1 characters were enjoying three attacks and the like due to stuff they 'found' on forums. We ended the night...and I never completed the campaign and for all the preparation and learning I had to do in order to make this fun...or look like I knew some of what I was doing...well...it just wasn't fun for me. So, now I just paint minis and talk over stuff with the Mrs.
Yes!!! My first step in starting a campaign is to play something other than dnd, we play dawn of worlds to make the map and some background events and lore that way they feel more comfort and grounded in the lore when they write their character! Its great!
If there is one thing i've learned in all my years of DMing it's that sometimes hard to tell just how interested and invested your players are. I've had the opportunity a few times to stumble upon a player i thought didn't care about our last session telling a mutual friend just how much fun they had and how excited they are for the next session.
Now yes, i wish they'd tell me that directly but i'm also glad they're excited about it and invested at all.
Compromise was a big part of me coming into my own as a GM. Finding the venn diagram between what my players what and what I enjoy delivering can be a difficult balance to find sometimes, but always worthwhile when you crack the code.
I've felt that pain at many tables. Both as a GM and as a player. But my current table (I'm the ST for a VtM game) is incredible! The players are all super invested in their characters and the RP interplay. They're even writing their own "fanfics" (which become canon, if the players and I agree it's reasonable.)
the brain rot is REAL! You're a great ST and extremely patient! I hate that you've had other tables not pour into the world as much as you do... and I'm glad we get to be a breath of fresh air!!!
@@dovejuniper780 you all are an amazing table to run a game for!
I'm getting ready to run my first DnD champaign. I love yours and pointy hats videos. They have been super helpful ❤
My friend made her own world and gave us all an empire with 6 kingdoms each, we got to make the rulers and choose secrets for them, it made the game really fun.
Loved the video, especially the "The Players" segment! There's so much truth there. Sometimes, a player is just better fitted with a different GM, and you have to recognize when that's the case and communicate it in earnest.
It was also nice to clarify that the world-building example is not a universal solution and is likely to not work at most tables, and it's true.
Also, one fun fact - people are good at knowing if they liked something, but they're very unreliable at explaining why, and notoriously horrible at predicting what they'd enjoy before they do it. So, even if a player thinks they want X, there's a HUGE chance they're still disappointed and don't get invested. As a GM, though, you have the power to make everyone invested with almost anything you decide to run.
Again, great video 👏
Fantastic video, Ginny! "What's the point of DMing" is a super thought provoking question that you got me really interrogating my own choices and style when DMing, in the best way possible. Also, your advice is super solid! Especially involving the players in the worldbuilding. Even if they only want to be involved to a very small extent, such as by adding some details about a location or an NPC as part of their backstory, I think it's a must!
The way you covered this topic was great, Ginny. Also that skit for this sponsor was great. I'm especially glad you mentioned not needing to burn people's flesh to get access to the maps. That's very important to me as a gamer.
As someone that was forced to DM or not play at all you are one of the most helpful people to help me learn what the heck to do and how to do it. Any tips for a baby silver dragon your party may have um adopted? Thank you so much for all your hard work and quality!
Ooh that's fun! I think its worth looking at the Drakewarden Ranger subclass to get some ideas of how the dragon could behave and scale (heh) in game
@@GinnyDi Thank you so much I will. Right now my son's Human monk is carrying the newborn on his back in a sling as we had not idea lol
Just put up a poll for my bois: Combat, Rp, Story/World. They said they enjoy all of the above let’s go.
Not all your friends are dnd friends. Best pointy hat quote ever
I'm gonna send this to my dm as he seems frustrated with our playing, thanks for making this video!! ^^
I'm sorry to hear that!! I hope you can figure out a way to play together successfully! ❤️
I introduced a cook off to our game. One of my players has the Chef feat and they played for the hand (literally and figuratively) of another player. The two characters have shown interest in a D&D romance, so this was an interesting mechanic.
There were teams, they rolled to cut up dragon meat and magical veggies, and used combat spells to cook, or speed up the cooking process. They’re more invested in this than when they fought a two-headed dragon!
Thanks for the video. You make excellent points, especially the fact that not all friends make good D&D players. I have been DMing for about a year and 1/2 now, and I got fortunate with my group. I had played in a bunch of different games (as a player) with a lot of different people, and I knew a few people that best matched my play style, so when I started a campaign, I only reached out to those people. We built the world together, and so far, everyone has been very enthusiastic about the game, and the players are very invested in the story.
My solution is a difficult non-combat encounter they can realistically fail: "You enter the grounds of the villa, and see guests entering inside, their invitations checked by a steward. There is a lot of armed guards around, as you suspected from intel. A direct confrontation is a likely TPK. The necklace will go on auction later in the evening, according to the schedule given. Good luck."
Essentially - replace the direct game mechanics (spell slots, action economy) by different game mechanics (using inventory / tools / utility spells / etc.) to achieve a (difficult) objective, rather than getting rid of the mechanics. Most players (IME) will adapt and will have even more fun. The downside is that, if any future encounter isn't as engaging, they'll be disappointed (also from experience).
I've faced these too issues in some of my games with my group. Campaigns quickly turned into players shuffling into the next room simply because it is the next or follow this lead because the dm wants us to go there next. What really helped me was shifting to a more open narrative/world. This has made my games far more collaborative, since I create set pieces/factions/the world and then the players use them to build their story. It has definitely made my time dming easier too since I don't need to supply my players with a grand movie-worthy story every week leading them from one plot point to the next. It's been a blast watching my players discuss whether or not to take a castle ruled by a shady lord, search for a rumored temple or join some raiders on their excursion inland. I can't wait to see where their decisions bring them (and the story) next.
Number 2 was so big for our game. I had a map and some arbitrary lines of nations, and nothing else. So each player named their origin, the culture, and the people that most commonly populated it. It was fun, it game me some different perspectives, and got them really invested.
What I do is always include the player's backstories and concepts into the main plot. I find that helping them craft the story and arc they want to see their character undergo makes them invested. It's a delight to watch their faces light up with joy/horror when flashes of it appear in game.
Lemme get my bubble pipe, I didn't know we were doing TTRPG philosophy over here.
Posts like the one at the start of the video make me feel incredibly grateful for my players. They've never shown any interest in DND until I mentioned hosting a game for them a while ago, but in the few sessions we've had so far they are trying every option and we've already had many funny moments. One of my players loves shopping and even though it's such a small thing it's let me build the world up in ways that everyone loves
I love your second point (Player investment)
Each player in my current campaign originally came up with a homeworld idea for their character (ie: Scifi style campaign). They could include as few or as many details as they wanted (town name, organizations, etc).
It also gave me ideas as a DM of what worlds/setting they wanted to play in.
If someone included a criminal underground organization backstory on an ice-covered world? Great, we're doing a campaign arc with this!
(Sorry for the length.)
The first ever campaign I ran was one that I took over from a friend after he was experiencing burnout. I imagined something more story-heavy with lots of lore and character arcs, because that's what I was hoping for when I was previously a player. The players... mostly wanted lots of combat and PVP and preferred to speedrun the RP side of things. I GMed multiple campaigns and one-shots for this group, and it sort of felt like a chore at times. I mainly accepted that this is what being a GM is like.
These days, I GM for a new group actually enjoys the RP and storytelling side of TTRPGs. They give me a lot to work with and play off of with their backstories, read the setting lore, and are quick to befriend NPCs. It was sort of mind-blowing to me that running a game could be like this.
As cliche as it is to say, the difference was night and day. My current group comes up with thoughtful backstories, and my first one sometimes they couldn't be bothered to give their character a name.
Mild disclaimer: it might seem like I'm presenting by old players as a nightmare, but let's be real-- I was not a good GM at all when I was starting out. I feel like my current are better at having a mutual stake in the campaign, but I also feel that I'm better at facilitating that than I used to be.
In my game currently (it's my first campaign ever and it's a homebrew [go big or go home, amirite]), I'm seeing that half of my players are introverts and don't have much to say. They don't usually play DND often and prefer more board games that go straight into combats. I notice they get engaged a heck of a lot more when I say roll initiative. The other two are eating.this.world.up. They're devouring and enjoying this five course meal, and I'm grateful for it. Your videos make me feel much more competent and confident that just because there are different styles of players doesn't mean I'm dm'ing wrong. I just need to do the best I can and try to have a good balance of roleplay and combat. Thank you for being you!!
I can definitely speak to the experience of having invested players being invested at different levels. A LOT of my players have been friends who are new players, like I was shortly before them. As a forever DM I’ve definitely gone crazy about it while most of my players have been more casual. But then, they have been new. A lot of the time, my games are focused on helping players learn how the game works by playing it, so being deeply invested in role-play usually comes later, and not yet in some. I love the idea of involving the players with world building! That sounds like it could work well for my groups!
i swear to god every session is like anti-therapy sometimes, but this, and few of your other videos, saved me, and made my player so much better
I'm running my first campaign as a duet (First Blush) and during Session Zero, I asked my player what he was looking forward to most: combat, RP, or combat. It's helped me plan out a little more by fleshing out the NPCs a little more and not worrying about making sure there's a monster around every corner.
The fact that I just had this anxiety as a fresh new DM with a Homebrew story. I resonate with the fact that I have to manage my own expectations, as many of the players are also new to DnD. The option to "fuck around and find out" maybe doesn't come as naturally to some of them and I don't know what to do in situations where they are not biting at the bait I'm throwing at them (subtly).
Just came out of the experience of trying to pitch TTRPGs to one of my dear friend group (who's not the one I usually play with). In the session 0 I told them I only cared about telling a personal dramatic story together, and they said "yes", jumping on shooting character skeletons AND group ideas; flash forward 2 weeks (the deadline was 1 week) and noone has sent me their background yet. A month later noone had given me anything yet so I just let the whole thing die; I saved myself the trouble of wasting time doing pre-campaign prep and we are as much friends as we were before.
I had seen the Pointy Hat video, so I knew beforehand! Not all your friends are D&D friends!
I check in on this channel every now and then, as it's nice to see the journey of a TTRPG player and GM hasn't changed in decades.
Oof alot of these points made sense, I'm restarting my campaign after nearly a year break this month. Looking at my old notes made me realize i have an amazing group mainly cause i assembled my group of 5 of vastly different people but whom all love D&D for different reasons. It makes for sessions that vary wildly in tone, from comedy swamp adventure were only one player knows they are being tricked and resulted in the funniest character interactions i've ever had, Or our Druid fully immersing himself in roleplay but so low-key that only i noticed, leading to a complete overhaul of the campaign's villain because he played himself so vunerable in the moment that i took advantage of to ramp up the drama, the table was actually stunned to slience when i ended the game. Let your player's run one-shots in your world it helps everyone feel more connected to your story doesn't have to be woven into the main plot but might provide an new item for the main campaign or an understanding of a location espcially if a characters backstory mentions it.
Really can’t stress enough how, every time I get in a DM funk, a Ginny Di video comes along to yoink me right outta the funk
Oh and practical advice: in the latest episodes of Worlds Beyond Number (#24 and 25 as I write this) they did something I’m 100% stealing in my own campaign: getting players involved in worldbuilding with 3 pointed questions
So for example, my players are about to do a party in a Druid grove, and I’m gonna ask the Druid:
- what’s the central dish / drink
- how does the grove decorate for events like this
- who in the community really gets their chance to shine at an event like this
This is all such solid advice. I'm gonna be DMing my first homebrew campaign in 5E soon and I'm gonna take all of this on board. I was already planning on having my players each design part of the world, but this video has given me more ideas about how to approach them with that, as well as giving people an out if they don't feel like getting that involving in the worldbuilding.
One thing that helped me immensely while searching for my first group of players was the realization that potential players outnumber DMs dramatically, which meant I absolutely have the luxury to be picky. The first group I was put in contact with waited until I was on my way to the store for session zero to say they weren't sure they'd make it. (They chose the date/time). After 30 minutes of back and forth and them suggesting I go to their work for session zero, I decided these were not people I wanted to DM for and said no, thanks.
On my second attempt, I posted an ad of sorts on the "looking for a game/players" channel of another store's discord, outlining who I was, how many players I was looking for, and a brief summery of my DM style. I brought in a list of three genre outlines I felt confident running for everyone to vote on, and actively encourage my players to add to the world, be it locations or people. There's a certain amount of luck involved to be sure, but I find knowing you're an in demand commodity and being upfront with what you're looking for in a game can help draw in the players you're looking for.
I recently overheard one of my players talking to one of our friends about how awesome the most recent session was. Felt fantastic.
3:15 I ran into this very early in my D&D experience; in middle school I had 2 groups, one was my best friends from forever before, and the other was friends I had just met and were interested in D&D. I planned a huge complex story for my besties and for the more recent friends I just improvised as I went. I quickly noticed my besties were more into the hang out and kill monsters aspect of it, and the other were getting really into the story; so, I swapped their campaigns (without them knowing) and then we all had a great time. Now, 15 years later, my best friends are into the story so I am fortunate have the best of both worlds, but we still have an occasional hack and slash one shot.
I think I’ve been very lucky with my players. We were all brand new to the game when we first got the group together, and our first campaign was honestly not as good as it could have been. However, we all learned from our mistakes, talked to each other like adults, and I think everyone’s having a lot more fun with our current campaign.
I had a very similar experience. You see at school I wanted to start a D&D club. So I invited three of my friends. Two of them as you said were “foodies.” but number three was not even paying attention at all. He was running around the room, not paying attention and just being a fun person to play with. This reminds me of that and now I know that I should probably invite people who are foodies
Here's another tip to get players to engage with plot:
Mile stone leveling. Let them level to 3-5 fairly easy as you see fit, but after level 5 they only get levels when dealing with main story or backstory plot
Loved this, gave me some additional ideas to keep my friends engaged! They're all newer players and I'm a first-time DM, so I've been giving them a lot of peeks behind the screen so they have some insight into why I'm doing what I'm doing. I also periodically check in with them because expectations can change. If they decide they just want a "monster-of-the-week" type game, I'm happy to shift gears with them.
I definitely needed this video, great stuff!
I hope it can help!! 🥰
So glad this came up finally because my group wanted to play but everyone including myself has constantly been procrastinating whether it’s character sheets or just me trying to get session 0 down for 5th time
Enjoying the D&D we have is excellent advice. Paying attention to the parts of DMing/session prep I enjoy helps to balance out those which feel more like a chore. Remembering things don’t have to be perfect helps when I’m feeling overwhelmed. Our campaign started in 2018- next session will be #134.
I loved this video and feel the OP pain, I have had a lot of non D&D friends in the last few of years suddenly get interested in it without knowing that it can take effort on their part for the game to be really successful. Sometimes it just doesn't work and like you say its important to know that's ok. However, it is totally possible to turn a party of combat loot hoarders into role-players, so would encourage people not to give up on them and be flexible with the plot. Introduce them to the consequences of their actions (in a way that doesn't stop them having fun). If they ignore the warnings of the town oracle and go off killing goblins in a nearby cave instead of helping them fend off bandits, maybe have the bandits steal the item they were saving up for (or going to steal) in town. Or incentivise them to engage with NPC's by getting them to prove they are the hero's who defeated the Gnoll terrorising the village to get a discount or other reward. One of best ones I have had was putting in a little goblin that they kind of accidentally saved, but then bonded with over time. Most people are not monsters so don't just kill cute things in front of them for no reason. So, they had something to protect and also made them start to question if the next goblin encampment might be his family or not, making them more inclined to start talking with NPC's. The first 5 - 6 months of that game were slow (largely because I didn't know how to DM for them) but it lasted over two years and has some of my all time favourite moments in it.
Good video.
Maybe people don't intuitively think of DMing as the same as "making or creating" but I think it congruent in at least one respect and worth warning people about. "Making or creating" for the sake of recognition and approval from others as the primary motivating factor will always be a gamble. You are setting yourself up for big potential disappointment. Even if you do get what you desire from others the first time around the pressure will always be there to do it again, every time, and even better than the last time. The first time you don't hit, you will feel it. Worst case scenario, you lose interest in a creative exercise you could've kept loving.
When making anything its important to spend a little time introspecting about why you are doing it and what you are looking for in the act itself. If its precious to you, take care to make is sustainable less you inadvertently rob yourself of future-joy.
Yup, it's all about finding the right audience for your style of game or adapting to the players that you have.
I've been getting excited about DC20 lately and was just thinking about, "What if players helped to create extra characters as NPCs?" I'm excited about making characters in a new system, especially those that would actually have a class, but I think it would be cool to have a selection made by others that the DM could pool from as appropriate, and I feel like a great way to do that is to ask players to provide them (expecting they will be non-PC characters, so they know it should be ideas they don't mind passing off, might be adjusted, and won't have an immediately recognizable name to tip them off that it's the same/similar character). I personally feel like I'd be excited to realize that a character I'm interacting with as a PC is actually one that I suggested, and the room for the DM to adjust still means I wouldn't know for sure what they can do or what they're like. Your "include players in worldbuilding" suggestion reminded me of this. I think open and frequent communication is key, though, in case a player decides they want to take back ownership of their creation.
I DM because I like to. Also my current DM wanted a break.
As a forever DM, I salute you.
Nice. Right on all points, especially the expectations part. One thing to mention is to appreciate what you have too. I've got a great table - they're exhausting and frustrating, but fun. And while I am by no means the perfect DM, I do my best and they acknowledge that. This probably comes with experience, though, and the countless number of less-fun groups I've had to wade through to find the players that fit well.
I really love the idea of having players collaborate on the intentional set-up and world building. I wouldn’t have thought of that as an option but it makes me more excited to return to a TTRPG if I can share in the world as a co-creator and not just a player entering into the world.
UA-cam dropped a PNCBank commercial right at your ad break, so, momentarily, I thought, "Wow! A bank is investing in Ginny!"
LOVE your point about including players in worldbuilding! I've found this works even if you're using official content - my first campaign was a homebrew story but took place in Faerun, but I still added a few homebrewed towns and cities and let the players fill in on some of the details. One of them built her whole hometown from the bottom up and it really made her (and others at the table) invested in the part of the story that took us there. I would also HUGELY recommend The Quiet Year ttrpg by Buried Without Ceremony, which was used for TAZ Ethersea if anyone else is a McElroy fan here. It's literally a worldbuilding game, and I ran it twice with two groups of players for two new campaigns and everyone got SO crazily invested in not only what was happening while we played TQY, but also what would happen *after* when we jumped into the actual campaign. It's of course not a perfect fit for every game, but it's a really great jumping off point (and just a fantastic game by itself, too!)
Hi Ginny, big fan.
I bought the calendar for this year, and I just wanted to say that I really love the quests! They've been really fun and have actually gotten me to leave my comfort zone and do some stuff that is good for me to do, but I just haven't prioritized in past years. Mariska is this month, and I'm already planning to have some friends over to chat and play games. I hope you do the quests again next year!
Keep up the great work, always love the videos and calendars.
my group is starting a new campaign this friday! our first campaign was completely homebrewed and the world was created by my dm and for this campaign he expressed wanting to run a module. so he gave a us options and the group landed on running Waterdeep Dragon Heist. it was a fun way for all of us to choose our next campaign and how we wanted to play. i love my group so much cause we have a good mix of combat addicts and role play lovers and he has expressed liking the challenge of creating something for our large group to enjoy
You have completely described things I've experienced lately. I enjoy playing D&d. Period. I am in a few different groups, a couple very heavy role play, 1 very combat oriented. Two of the RP sessions are very different due to the player involvement in each. I dont mind changing play modes according to which group im with. But i do know that some of the other players could not exist in the worlds of the other sessions.
So all that to say thank you. You are so intellectual and such an amazing person.
It's my firstime playing Dnd, while our session 1 has yet to begin, our DM, and my dear friend, has been doing a great job at keeping everyone involved. Being a new player, I was overwelmed with worldbuilding and creating backstory. She helped me come up with a goal for my character (I'm a druid half-orc who lives in the forest and is besties with all the animals, yet I am looking for a cure as the forest starts to get sick with disease). Now I get the joy of making up tones of forest animals, giving them names and traits- all while knowing that she might kill them off and living in constant fear- sound insane, but I'm loving it!
The big point in our session zero was discussing worldbuilding and our overall connections. Someone in our group is a soldier and they spent a lot of time diving into a battle between nations, another one got to makeup a diner he owns- it's just a great inclusion of all of us and the various feelings we all have about the game.
All thus to say is that I'm loving my group (especially my DM, thank you Lara) and I will sob if any of my animals die, so tissues will be brought to sessions alongside my dice.
As a DM, I don't have expectations of the outcome. I plan the framework of the scenario and let the players interact. I will attempt to react organically to the players' actions, adjudicating the situations. They can't go off-script if there's no script in the first place. If they go murderhobo and loot, then so be it, the world in context will react accordingly. If they want to chill out in town for a full RP session... then that's what the session will be. As a DM like to see what happens and I like to be surprised -that's where I get the most satisfaction, not so much of having players run through my meticulously crafted narrative.
It's a good way to run it but I can see how some DMs might find it quite draining that they can't make the decisions about the game they're creating.
Glad you've found something that works for you though!
I've DM'd this way and you absolutely can still make decisions and have a hand in what happens. You still have constructed the world, the framework, and you have NPCs on the ground. It feels more like co-creating than anything, and no planning sessions end up wasted. 😊
Amen. It's so much less stressful to just set up the sandbox, some moving hooks and rumors, and then let them loose. The world is still curated to the framework I want, with massive "story" events moving in the background, but session prep never feels wasted because the players are making the majority of the "content."
I created a couple google forms for my players to fill out to create their characters! I had them create their hometown, family/backstory, and character traits and goals. It was really fun to make and I think it helped prompt in depth character backstories since they just had to answer the questions instead of start from scratch! One thing I particularly liked was giving the players an option to create a myth or cryptid from their hometown and they came up with really fun creatures and stories I can't wait to use later! :)
As a five course DM, I really needed this advice three years ago when running a game for one five course player amidst a bunch of cocktail players. Looking back, I'm kind of amazed that it lasted two years, although the price I paid was very steep both mentally and emotionally. Pointy Hat's "not all your friends can be D&D friends" was also sound wisdom that I sadly had to learn the hard way.
I haven't run a campaign since our group broke up, and I honestly don't know when or if I will again. Losing a campaign your poured your heart and soul into feels like losing a part of yourself, and I'm still grieving for it. I don't know if I'm ready to be that vulnerable again. I do miss campaign prep though.
8:25 Thank you Editor Ginni. Yes, I tried this with one of my players, after 3 months(!) of asking him about his home town and him ignoring it, I built a town and sent to him. Asking, can you please at least "come up with your family members?". After 4-5 more weeks finally he replied with his parents names, and a sister. Only the sister had any description to her. Can you guess what that description was? "Magic item merchant". You can see what the player was trying to do here. LoL. Anyway, the player dropped out soon after and we never get to go to his hometown.
i'm preparing my first campaign as a dm (i've been a player for 3 years) and your videos are so thoughtful and inspiring! creating a fun experience for me and my players seems so much more about communication that it did before, lol
The Kids on Bikes approach to setting building, where the players help build the small town everything happens in during Session Zero, is possibly my favorite approach to player-assisted world building. I highly recommend giving it a look!
Can confirm, just because you are friends doesn't mean you'll appreciate the same thing in the same way. My long-running table recently had two of my close friends drop out of the game simply because it wasn't fun anymore for them. We still do other things together, but what they wanted out of the game no longer lined up with what we had. It's still hard, because the game was genuinely better with them in it, but ultimately everyone needs to choose for themselves how they spend their time, and just because people have different ideas on that does not mean they are any less for it.
i always just level with my party to trust me that the framework i have is tailored with their tastes in mind and respects their freedom in that framework as well as including some choices theyve made in the past
im lucky in that my party are willing to trust me to at least entertain some story beats and that my party like any party are a bunch of animals but are thirsty for a storyline
i never deny it but i always remind them if im not prepared im down for whatever but id love to do what they want to do next session when im prepared
it creates an easy dynamic where they choose to discuss big decisions on their own to make for a more satisfying story that they chose and feel more free to fuck around with the easier things that im at least contextually ready to improvise
Any time I'm in a homebrew game I explore the fck out of every nook and cranny, even if I'm not engaged, because - exactly - the DM poured their heart into it and deserves a bit of respect and appreciation for their hard work.
I had to learn this lesson the hard way. I'm very much a world builder with extensive backstory and big narratives...and one of my friends that helped start the first game I ever led was much more 'I want to goof off and loot monster lairs' the campaign ended in flames and almost made me stop dming altogether. Fortunately, I've found a new group that largely loves the same kind of game that I do. If you and a player like two different styles of dnd...make sure you address it. Never ignore it.