6 Coping With Dog Loss: Dealing With "Help" That Isn't Helpful

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  • Опубліковано 8 лис 2024

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  • @jenp2285
    @jenp2285 3 роки тому +10

    This series was very helpful for me. Sorry, this is going to be a long message, but I need to get it out. My little dog Daisy (around 13 years old) had many complications (Cushing's and heart disease, enlarged liver and was mentally declining). Caring for her has been a near full time job for the last year. We knew the time was coming, but over the weekend we think she ate something in the yard and she spiralled downward extremely fast. The entire weekend was extremely painful because we knew she was dying. It was so heartbreaking.
    I sent a group text to my dad and sister just letting them know. My sister didn't say anything at all but sent a bunch of pictures of her son getting ready for 1st day of school. My sister is not a dog person but It was still surprising because she has 2 cats that she is attached to.
    2 days ago I had to bring her to the vet to be put to rest. It was definitely the hardest thing I've gone through EVER. Even harder than my mom passing away. This dog was my everything. She was my heart. Went everywhere with me. It's still so raw.
    I sent them another message letting them know that she is gone and expressed how torn apart I am. My sister said she was sorry but then sent me more pictures of her son at school!
    I was so upset. I said to her : "the pics are cute, and I'll comment on them later, but I can't think about anything else right now." I'm in too much pain.
    I posted a link to the cremation center I brought Daisy to and told her how amazing they are and that they helped me feel a little better, and felt a sense of closure bringing Daisy there. Truly an amazing place.
    I told her about it, because I honestly wished I knew about it for my two cats that died over the last few years. Just in case she ever needed an option in the future.
    She replied back only with a link to a different website saying "I'm sending jack (her cat) to this place to be turned into a rock because I don't like ashes".
    That's totally fine, but I felt a little insulted by the "I don't like ashes" comment.
    I was so upset I didn't even open her message and haven't looked at it since. I wanted to say something about empathy but bit my tongue for the time being. I just feel really upset about the whole conversation.
    This specific video was very interesting and eye opening, especially about the caretaker/caregiver roles. I never heard of that, but I now see that is definitely where we are very different. Thanks for letting me vent here ❤️
    And thank you again for the series, it was very comforting.

    • @HoundHuggerDIY
      @HoundHuggerDIY  3 роки тому +1

      Thank you kindly for reaching out, it means the world to us that you are finding this series helpful. We're so so very sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved Daisy. 💔 Please accept our warmest condolences. Also we're so sorry that your finding it difficult to get the support that you'd like from your sister. Please remember that your feelings are valid and take whatever time you need to work through these powerful emotions.
      Not sure if this is something you'd be interested in or not...but if you're feeling up to it, we recently created a Guide To Surviving Dog Loss - a 6-part email series that includes ebooks, videos and grief support to assist in your journey. The collection is completely free and it will gently guide you through grief.
      Here is the link to sign up: offer.wehearthounds.com/dog-loss
      You're welcome to give it a try to see what it's all about, if you'd like. Again, there's nothing to purchase to access the guide, we just want to give back to our dog loving community - and would be honored if what we created helps you in your journey of healing. Hugs.

    • @foxywhitetip7387
      @foxywhitetip7387 5 місяців тому

      Your sister sounds like a seriously disturbed somatic narcissist

  • @megangriffiths9197
    @megangriffiths9197 Рік тому +3

    Hi ladies, I don't know if you're still checking these comments, but I just had to say thank you for this series. I had to put my beloved cat to sleep this week (I know, not a dog!), and she was my everything. I didn't expect how rocked I would be by this grief. I was fortunate enough to stumble onto some videos about pet loss on UA-cam, and then came across your series, and I can't tell you how comforting I've found it, just to hear you express the same things I'm feeling and to know that what I'm feeling is so incredibly normal. Pets are so...I can't even find the words to express what pets are, that's how MUCH they are, and so losing them is just devastating. Thanks to you all for having the kindness and compassion and courage to speak about your own losses in an effort to help other people through theirs. Love to you all.

    • @HoundHuggerDIY
      @HoundHuggerDIY  Рік тому +1

      Oh, Megan, it's so very sad to hear of the loss of your beloved kitty. Please know how heartbroken we are to hear that you have lost a little loved one in your life. It doesn’t matter how much time goes by, we still miss them with our whole heart. And that’s ok. It just means we love them fully - they are a part of our soul - they shape our lives and they remain forever with us. We are honored and humbled to know our videos have helped in some small way. You are in our thoughts and send you strength, comfort and warm wishes daily.

    • @megangriffiths9197
      @megangriffiths9197 Рік тому +1

      @@HoundHuggerDIY Thank you so much for the comforting words. It's good to know that kind people like you exist in this world!!!

  • @elleemzed2176
    @elleemzed2176 Рік тому +1

    Thank you so much for putting these videos together! I am watching in august and September 2023. Since I lost my much loved little 18 yo dog in 2019 and my two adorable rescue cats in 2021 and 2023, I have scoured the internet, UA-cam, Pinterest, bookstores, everywhere for information that would be helpful to me in my grief. This series is the ONLY resource that has really really helped me. Each episode has given me a lot to think about and I understand that this grief is mine alone. I have a husband and grown kids but we have all grieved differently and I think that I’ve had the hardest time. I’ve now accepted that the pain isn’t going anywhere and that’s ok. I will never forget my beautiful fur girls. They are in my heart and soul forever 🐶 🐱 🐱 💕

    • @HoundHuggerDIY
      @HoundHuggerDIY  Рік тому

      Oh, Elle, it's so very sad to hear of the loss of your beloved furbabies. Please know how heartbroken we are to hear that you have lost so many little loved ones in your life. It doesn’t matter how much time goes by, we still miss them with our whole heart. And that’s ok. It just means we love them fully - they are a part of our soul - they shape our lives and they remain forever with us. And although you will never get over the loss, you can get through it. It just takes time.... be kind with yourself during this difficult time.
      It's tough when other members of the family move through the healing process at a quicker pace. Keeping the lines of communication open can be very helpful. Perhaps everyone can come up with an idea for a memorial that you can work on together - something in the yard or a shadow box - where you all get to input on what it becomes.
      We are honored and humbled to know our videos have helped in some small way. You are in our thoughts and send you strength, comfort and warm wishes daily.
      If you're interested, we created a 6-part email series with all kinds of additional resources on grief support that's totally free: houndhuggerdiy.com/dog-loss/

  • @edmamula
    @edmamula 2 роки тому +6

    This whole series was tremendously helpful. Thank you so much for doing it.

    • @HoundHuggerDIY
      @HoundHuggerDIY  2 роки тому +1

      Thank you so much for the kind words. It truly means the world to hear that these videos are helpful.

  • @Beautiful_Sacred_Land
    @Beautiful_Sacred_Land Рік тому +1

    Thank you so much for all you all talked about 🙏🐾💐Spot on💜🐺💕

    • @HoundHuggerDIY
      @HoundHuggerDIY  Рік тому +1

      You are so very welcome. Please know how heartbroken we are to hear that you have lost a little loved one in your life. We are honored and humbled to know our videos have helped in some small way. You are in our thoughts and send you strength, comfort and warm wishes daily. Hugs 💔

    • @Beautiful_Sacred_Land
      @Beautiful_Sacred_Land Рік тому

      ​@@HoundHuggerDIY Thank you for your kind reply, I so appreciate it. 💞🐾 my blessed girl was my world, my huckleberry friend and now she is a dog angel and still my friend..it's my human self who struggles with it all.. one day at a time. She sends me songs, rainbows..my blessed girl. Thank you both and Peggy for your series,

  • @christinec918
    @christinec918 2 роки тому +2

    This series is helping me get back to life after my precious 17 year old pupps passing, Thank you❤️

    • @HoundHuggerDIY
      @HoundHuggerDIY  2 роки тому

      Thank you so much for sharing your story and kind words with us. We are honored and humbled to know our video/s on dog loss have helped in some small way. Please accept our heartfelt condolences for your loss. You are in our thoughts and we send warm hugs of hope and healing your way. 💔

  • @Moongazer17
    @Moongazer17 19 днів тому

    This series of videos has been such a comfort for me twice now! Missing my Nanuk and Munchkin so much 😭❤❤So thankful for your videos being available to help with my healing over these past couple of years! Hugs to you all for the loss of your sweet fur kids!💜

    • @HoundHuggerDIY
      @HoundHuggerDIY  16 днів тому +1

      Oh my gosh...first let us say how sorry we are for the loss of your little furbabies. It's definitely one of the most difficult things we go through as pet parents. You may not have got to spend the rest of your life with them, but they got to spend the rest of their life with you. And there's beauty in that.
      Secondly, please know how humbled we are to play a small role along your journey of healing. May you find comfort in all the loving memories you hold dear. 💔

  • @debdoubleday6312
    @debdoubleday6312 Рік тому +1

    I'm so grateful to all 3 of you ladies for all your words of wisdom on this most sensitive of topics...you have certainly helped me..on my journey after the loss of my beloved golden furry girl 😢..thank you ❤

    • @HoundHuggerDIY
      @HoundHuggerDIY  Рік тому +1

      Thank you so much for sharing your kind words with us. We are honored and humbled to know our video/s on dog loss have helped in some small way. Please accept our heartfelt condolences for your loss. You are in our thoughts and we send warm hugs of healing your way. 💔

  • @giovannibermudezjr
    @giovannibermudezjr 2 роки тому +1

    Thank you, Ladies, for these series of videos. My Crystal Girl passed on Friday, April 29th and your six videos have shown me I'm not alone and that it is okay to grieve. Thank you So much.

    • @HoundHuggerDIY
      @HoundHuggerDIY  2 роки тому +1

      Thank you kindly for reaching out, it means the world to us that you've found this series helpful. We're so so very sorry to hear of your loss. 💔
      It sounds like you and Crystal Girl had an amazing bond. Please accept our warmest condolences...and not sure if this is something you'd be interested in or not...but if you're feeling up to it, we have created a Guide To Surviving Dog Loss - a 6-part email series that includes ebooks, videos and grief support to assist in your journey. The collection is completely free and it will gently guide you through grief.
      Here is the link to sign up: offer.wehearthounds.com/dog-loss
      You're welcome to give it a try to see what it's all about, if you'd like. Again, there's nothing to purchase to access the guide, we just want to give back to our dog loving community - and would be honored if what we created helps you in your journey of healing. Hugs.

    • @giovannibermudezjr
      @giovannibermudezjr 2 роки тому

      @@HoundHuggerDIY Thank you so much for this. I would very much like to read it. Your third video on Guilt helped me the most. Crystal had stopped eating due to kidney failure, and she was getting painfully thin. Problem is, she was still wagging her tail. It broke my heart having to end her life knowing she could have had a few more semi-happy days.

    • @HoundHuggerDIY
      @HoundHuggerDIY  2 роки тому +1

      Oh that is heartbreaking. But please don't beat yourself up, it sounds to me like she was putting on a brave little face for you both. You did the most generous thing that you could do for her. She knows how much you love her and all she would want for you is to be at peace with the decision.

  • @rdean1982
    @rdean1982 5 місяців тому

    Thank you so much for this series. It's helped more than you'll ever know. I lost my pal on Monday morning and the feeling of sadness is overwhelming.

    • @HoundHuggerDIY
      @HoundHuggerDIY  5 місяців тому

      Please know how heartbroken we are to hear that you have lost your little pal. We are honored and humbled to know our videos have helped in some small way. You are in our thoughts and send you strength, comfort and warm wishes daily.

  • @tarawasinger
    @tarawasinger 6 місяців тому

    Thank you for the entire series of pet loss/grief as I had no other choice than to let my 12.5-year-old baby go peacefully via at-home euthanasia on 04/28/24 and am in an immense amount of pain.

    • @HoundHuggerDIY
      @HoundHuggerDIY  6 місяців тому

      There's just never enough time with our little angels is there? Please know how heartbroken we are to hear that you have lost a little loved one in your life. We are honored and humbled to know our videos have helped in some small way. You are in our thoughts and send you strength, comfort and warm wishes daily.

  • @robbiedill4307
    @robbiedill4307 Рік тому

    Thake.you.Laddys

  • @conscious2973
    @conscious2973 2 роки тому

    Incredible series.

  • @KAM-s4v
    @KAM-s4v 6 місяців тому

    I fell asleep and woke up to I think your #3 video yesterday. On guilt. Which is what I'm dealing with also. I'm going through these now. I feel like I know you all and I said I wish you lived closer and then I heard Peggy say she's in NC. We moved from NYC to NC and feel very isolated. I wonder if this new place is cursed because he died and I got diagnosed with cancer earlier this year, which the surgeon cut out but still. Very difficult because my husband is abroad. I'm literally alone and I miss my baby so much. Over 14 yrs of his love and heartbeat

    • @HoundHuggerDIY
      @HoundHuggerDIY  6 місяців тому +1

      So very sorry to hear of the loss of your dear boy - and that you're going through so many challenges all at once. Life can be overwhelming at times and it can be difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
      You and your pup had a loving bond that will never be broken. He will always be with you - in your heart - helping you to be strong. And although it's a pain like you've never felt in your life, the strength of your emotions are a reflection of the amount of love you two shared. So we hope you may find some comfort in that - many people never experience that kind of loving devotion.
      It's hard when you're alone, but there are some nice Rainbow Bridge groups on Facebook who can also lend an ear for support when you need it.
      Another good tip is to look for things you can participate in - an exercise class, art class, bridge group, joining a garden club, etc. - anything that can provide some structure to your days/weekends and meet new people to do activities with. Even local volunteer opportunities can do a world of good to lift your spirits. One of the best "cures" for a broken heart is to help others in need.
      We are thankful that our videos have helped in some small way. Means more than you'll ever know. Hugs 💔

  • @taffypc0072
    @taffypc0072 2 роки тому +2

    I really need help!! It’s so painful! I can’t live without my dog!

    • @HoundHuggerDIY
      @HoundHuggerDIY  2 роки тому

      We're so very sorry for what you're going through Christine. 💔 To help work through these powerful emotions it may be helpful to reach out to a professional, here is a link to a document that we created that has a list of free resources for grief support wehearthounds.com/assets/GriefSupportKit.pdf I truly hope that you find this helpful and that you can begin the process of healing.

  • @leighwiseman8389
    @leighwiseman8389 Рік тому +1

    I've lost my beloved labrador and my so called best friend of 30 years, she has no idea of what I'm going through and has showed total disrespect to my dog who loved her.

    • @HoundHuggerDIY
      @HoundHuggerDIY  Рік тому +2

      How sad - both the loss of your beloved pup and that your best friend is not willing or able to be a shoulder for you to lean on at such a difficult time. If she's not able to relate to your pain or if she isn't offering any comfort in your loss, it's ok to give yourself some distance while you heal your heart. Loss has a way of pulling people apart or bringing them closer together. She might not be as strong as you to allow true love in her heart - so she doesn't understand what a deep loss this is. Regardless of what happens, give yourself and your friend some grace and understanding. There's no need to let her behavior cause you more heartache. Surround yourself with those who care and try to focus on all the wonderful times you had with your dog. A bond like yours is such a treasure.

    • @leighwiseman8389
      @leighwiseman8389 Рік тому +1

      @@HoundHuggerDIY Thank you so very much, your kind reply which has given me huge comfort xxxxx

  • @shirleyblair5246
    @shirleyblair5246 11 місяців тому +1

    I know this video is years old but I have to make a comment on this subject. I went online the day I lost my sweet girl to let my friends know what had happened and one of the ladies in my Bible study that I had known for a couple of years said something I just couldn’t believe she said especially because she had often mentioned how much she loved her pets. Anyway, her comment to me was to allow myself 2hours to grieve and then to give the pain to Jesus. I’m sorry but I found that comment to be incredibly insensitive. I didn’t respond to it but I wanted to say a bunch of things in response that Jesus wouldn’t have wanted me to say!

    • @HoundHuggerDIY
      @HoundHuggerDIY  11 місяців тому +1

      Well, Shirley, you certainly have been blessed with restraint 😉 I've heard similar comments from others who have lost a pet. It's not a point of view I share, but perhaps it's their way of coping to lessen the pain? Some people are unable to love fully with their whole heart because the loss would be more than they could bear. So although they cared for their pet, they are likely not as strong as you. It's a shame because they miss out on so much love and joy from their furry friend. It can make us sad, angry or frustrated when people close to us just don't understand how deep our connection was with our beloved pet. You gave the perfect response, which is to shake it off, say nothing at all, and know how fortunate you are to be the kind of person who is not afraid to love - and receive love - with all your heart. That's the best gift our pups teach us. And although it means our hearts ache that much more when they're gone, the love we shared remains with us forever.

  • @robbiedill4307
    @robbiedill4307 Рік тому +2

    Life.suck.s.whitout.my.dog.❤

    • @robbiedill4307
      @robbiedill4307 Рік тому

      Little.over.3.month.my.dog.Jack.Dont.no.what. to.due..😂❤.help

  • @NancyParis-c2i
    @NancyParis-c2i 10 місяців тому +1

    Are you still doing the grief group?

    • @HoundHuggerDIY
      @HoundHuggerDIY  10 місяців тому

      This video series is about 5 years old, and although we've talked about adding more to the series, we don't have any immediate plans to do so just yet. However, this could change sometime in the future. You are welcome to subscribe to our UA-cam channel and click the notification bell so you're always up-to-date on what's happening at Hound Hugger DIY and any new information we might have to share about this dog loss series.
      In the meantime, here is another video series from Two Hearts Petloss Center you might find helpful. twoheartspetlosscenter.com/podcast/

  • @foxywhitetip7387
    @foxywhitetip7387 5 місяців тому

    💜❤️🌺Merla🌺❤️💜

  • @TheYazmanian
    @TheYazmanian 5 місяців тому

    Anticipatory grief didn't replace or prevent the real grief for me

    • @HoundHuggerDIY
      @HoundHuggerDIY  5 місяців тому +1

      Everyone has a different experience, and that's ok. Regardless of how we grieve, it's an important part of the healing process - to feel those feelings and work through them. It's also important to remember our beloved pups would not want us to continue life carrying the weight of guilt, sadness and grief for the rest of our days. Our pets teach us so much - that we are our best selves when we embrace love and joy and hope for brighter days ahead. Our thoughts continue to be with you at this sad time.

    • @TheYazmanian
      @TheYazmanian 5 місяців тому

      @@HoundHuggerDIY Thank you. It's been difficult. I miss him so much. There really are no words. I know time will heal this wound but it sure does take a while.

  • @fedup745
    @fedup745 Рік тому

    Ladies. Stop the giggling. You have people coming on in real pain.

    • @HoundHuggerDIY
      @HoundHuggerDIY  Рік тому +3

      First, let us say how sorry we are at the loss of your beloved pet. Your feelings are important to us and our intention is not to make you uneasy at such a difficult time.
      Secondly, we ask kindly for some grace. This video series was one of the first livestreams we ever recorded. Not only were we very nervous to go Live each week, but
      the topics we cover around loss are personal, emotional and deep. None of these discussions are easy, but this series is important to us because we know sharing pet loss with others who have experienced the same can be valuable. The laughter you're seeing was also a way for us to overcome our anxiety of being open and vulnerable about our own experiences with loss.
      Please accept our warmest condolences for your loss. Our hearts are with you.

    • @foxywhitetip7387
      @foxywhitetip7387 5 місяців тому

      Do you expect them to sit there and Bawl .??

  • @vladimirag6841
    @vladimirag6841 Рік тому +1

    Seeing you laughing just makes me feel so uncomfortable.
    Loosing a precious pet is not subject for joyful conversation.
    So, I think that your video is not helpful.

    • @HoundHuggerDIY
      @HoundHuggerDIY  Рік тому

      First, let us say how sorry we are at the loss of your beloved pet. Your feelings are important to us and our intention is not to make you uneasy at such a difficult time.
      Secondly, we ask kindly for some grace. This video series was one of the first livestreams we ever recorded. Not only were we very nervous to go Live each week, but we often had technical difficulties with internet connectivity/cameras/mics before going live, which added stress to the situation. So some of what you're seeing is the relief of simply getting started.
      Finally, the topics we cover around loss are personal, emotional and deep. None of these discussions are easy, but this series is important to us because we know sharing pet loss with others who have experienced the same can be valuable. The laughter you're seeing was also a way for us to overcome our anxiety of being open and vulnerable about our own experiences with loss.
      Please accept our warmest condolences for your loss. Our hearts are with you.

  • @eliinaflower
    @eliinaflower Рік тому

    Thank you so much… 🤍

    • @HoundHuggerDIY
      @HoundHuggerDIY  Рік тому +1

      You are very welcome. Thank you for watching.