"Ok turns out that God has in fact been living this entire time and his evil adopted brother took over his body while sending him into space aboard yet another overpowered defibrilator. Our now unrecognizeable egomaniacs suit up in new armor that adapts not only to their combat environment but to the changing retail demographic. The heroes alongside the formerly homeless child, now a confident 6 foot 1, must now use their AED on God's heart while fending off the biological family of God's adopted brother. Also God is another bionicle for some fucking reason, you'd think they'd make it into a set but they never really did"
"A cloned corrections officer." "General Grievous." "The disgraced king of hell himself who’s still mad he got outsmarted by children." It's so hard to choose your favorites sometimes.
10 місяців тому+20
‘beetle roombas’ from before is still up there for me.
My brother is a MASSIVE Bionicle geek and won't shut up about it. He told me to get learned on Bionicle's lore and this was the first search result. I now only understand Bionicle through this playlist.
As someone who's been a massive Bionicle geek all my life: This playlist presents things in a kind of goofy way, but it _is_ accurate to the official lore.
Y'know seeing as how those tunnels look so much like intestines, I'm starting to wonder if the entire mahri nui arc was basically just mata nui's colonoscopy
That's unlikely. A colonoscopy isn't a treatment for anything, it's just a procedure for figuring out if something is wrong inside the intestines. But maybe it's the Mata Nui equivalent of people loosing objects inside their anus and needing the hospital to remove it.
insane how the toa never even questioned that. imagine minding your business and a lumberjack with big meaty fingers captures you to welds weapons all over your entire body and put six little guys inside you who use as you their personal uber
I guess it's like a mutant, cyborg whale thing-thang.I mean in the 03 game, something similar happened: some Matoran went underwater when they jumped into a whale's mouth, and I think in real life, whales actually don't mind some smaller fish travelling on them, cause those eat the harmful bacteria, or something like that.
General Grievous such has changed since I last saw him... Also "mutant sushi who escaped a federal prison built by the Free Masons" has me defeated by the pure hilarity!
the more I watch these the more I want to dive deep into the bionicle rabbit hole, I can't choose a single sentence as the trigerring point, they're all equaly absurd
same, I regret that this came out after I stopped following the story. the underwater theme didn't really hook me but it seems like the writers kept up the quality
It’s good to have you back man! This one was great, definitely a very bizarre year of Bionicle when you really stop and look at it, but still one of the best
I would have described the Baraki as "War criminals who escaped underwater Alcatraz and mutated by a sewage leak" instead of simply "mutated sushi" but good none the less.
"...conveniently overhauling their set designs for retail and deleting their lungs." I both hate and love how accurate this is. I also like "cloned corrections officer", "zoo plankton kaiju", and "king of hell angry he was outsmarted by children."
Essenger is back at it again with quality content. I treat this videos as Try Not To Laugh sessions and this video got me in 5 seconds. I can not wait for more
The ad that followed this video literally picked up right where AI Wedgewood’s cadence left off and it was the most jarring thing I’ve ever experienced. “Ice Jesus puts on the defibrillator and sacrifices his life so God can live again. Here at IHG Hotels…”
2007 was where BIONICLE hit its peak, by far. The last true golden year for BIONICLE as a whole in all honest opinion. It was also the last time we saw the old socket parts as well.
"gentrified atlantis" ah, such a relatable experience. Bionicle predicting the current economy lol. Also I love how the final lines sounding increasingly absurd showcase the crazy escalation of Bionicle lore around that time
Found this gold after seeing an insta reel that covered 0:42-0:57, but was focussing on Cambrian animals, haha. I'd really like to use that audio for a quick short, if that's all good. Full credit of course! :)
You’re back with a video about my favorite year of BIONICLE, and I think it’s your best! Glad to see you back, and thanks for an amazing show in LA as part of your tour last month!
I always hated how in canon the toa mahri breathe water, yet theur sets have obvious breathing tubes. So to rectify your toys so that they make sense in the story, you might wanna take the tubes off. Or you could just ignore the stupid part of the story where it says they can only breathe water.
Your content is beyond perfect. 😂 Thank you for all the laughs. I have to rewatch each Cursed Lore vid to comprehend and appreciate it all. You make works of art.
“An ancient and absurdly overpowered defibrillator” Is now my new favourite saying to say.
"So God Can Live Again*"
*Terms and Conditions Apply.
The Toa really should have read the fine print on that one
@@lukestarkiller1470 The Avohkii had instructions on the back so maybe the Ignika had them too
Each term and condition applied separately
@@ubermaster134 they needed a mask of translation to read the terms and conditions
"Ok turns out that God has in fact been living this entire time and his evil adopted brother took over his body while sending him into space aboard yet another overpowered defibrilator. Our now unrecognizeable egomaniacs suit up in new armor that adapts not only to their combat environment but to the changing retail demographic. The heroes alongside the formerly homeless child, now a confident 6 foot 1, must now use their AED on God's heart while fending off the biological family of God's adopted brother.
Also God is another bionicle for some fucking reason, you'd think they'd make it into a set but they never really did"
"A cloned corrections officer."
"General Grievous."
"The disgraced king of hell himself who’s still mad he got outsmarted by children."
It's so hard to choose your favorites sometimes.
‘beetle roombas’ from before is still up there for me.
I think zooplankton kaiju is mine
My personal fave is Ice Jesus
Mine’s zooplankton kaiju
Is the cloned Co fucking BADCOP from entropy 0?
"Mutant Sushi that have escaped a federal prison built by the freemasons"
this series never dissapoints
I think that that's the moment that got me the most
My brother is a MASSIVE Bionicle geek and won't shut up about it. He told me to get learned on Bionicle's lore and this was the first search result. I now only understand Bionicle through this playlist.
As a massive Bionicle geek who won't shut up about it: hit him with quotes from this just to see his reaction. It'd be HILARIOUS.
@@KnightGamer724I'm sure His brother already knows of Essenger lmao
@@MatiNuva1724 I'm not sure. I was massive Bionicle geek for my whole life and i only learned about him last month.
As someone who's been a massive Bionicle geek all my life: This playlist presents things in a kind of goofy way, but it _is_ accurate to the official lore.
Better that way
Imagine being so poor you have to grow your own air
if you've ever owned a spider plant, you've dabbled in this
ten RIDICULOUS air-growing techniques that Aloysius O'Hare DOESN'T want you to know
Y'know seeing as how those tunnels look so much like intestines, I'm starting to wonder if the entire mahri nui arc was basically just mata nui's colonoscopy
That's unlikely. A colonoscopy isn't a treatment for anything, it's just a procedure for figuring out if something is wrong inside the intestines. But maybe it's the Mata Nui equivalent of people loosing objects inside their anus and needing the hospital to remove it.
I've been saying since fall 2008 that the Morbuzakh was a brain tumor
@@cyanimation1605🤯
@@cyanimation1605 I thought that Teridax was one.
FUCK lmao
Good Lord, finally someone understands why OG Matoran Matoro lies in my own Navity Scene recreation.
I can't even look at mine the same way after...
Based and Matoro-pilled
I don't understand.@@TheRealKazberry
Yes please explain
"The universe is a riddle. And today, I am the answer."
- Toa Matoro
"Today on Bionicle©: Technically Correct ™ - the plot actively tries to inflict trauma on children who just want to see cool robots fight."
Man, 2007 Bionicle's lore is WILD even by Bionicle lore standards.
I love how this is 100% accurate to the lore while also being peak shitpost material.
“Ice Jesus puts on the defibrillator and sacrifices his life so that God can live again” absolutely beautiful :’)
Ice Jesus died for our robot sins
@@FelipeASaito Mata Nui is my shepherd, I shall not want
@@FelipeASaito W
Babe wake up new Bonkle lore just dropped
Describing Matoro as Ice Jesus is hilariously accurate
Not to mention the terrain crawler, a living undersea traversal craft that makes the titanic explorer look OSHA compliant.
insane how the toa never even questioned that. imagine minding your business and a lumberjack with big meaty fingers captures you to welds weapons all over your entire body and put six little guys inside you who use as you their personal uber
@@essengerbionicle From the books, I remember Hahli and Hewkii were pretty disturbed about it in their own ways.
@@essengerbionicleimmaculate description as always
I insist it is a giant cyborg sea cucumber. That's why it is fine with them being inside it.
I guess it's like a mutant, cyborg whale thing-thang.I mean in the 03 game, something similar happened: some Matoran went underwater when they jumped into a whale's mouth, and I think in real life, whales actually don't mind some smaller fish travelling on them, cause those eat the harmful bacteria, or something like that.
General Grievous such has changed since I last saw him...
Also "mutant sushi who escaped a federal prison built by the Free Masons" has me defeated by the pure hilarity!
Obi-Wan this is a Bionicle video what the fuck are you doing here
if only atlantis could have partaken in the annual undersea bionicle buffet with grilled salmon
The general grievous & ice Jesus line were neat. Can’t wait for the arc of the glatorian
1:05 I have never laughed so hard at something that makes me cry.
Holy shit. As funny as this is, the longer it went on the more I was reminded how wild and epic 2007's story was.
the more I watch these the more I want to dive deep into the bionicle rabbit hole, I can't choose a single sentence as the trigerring point, they're all equaly absurd
same, I regret that this came out after I stopped following the story. the underwater theme didn't really hook me but it seems like the writers kept up the quality
"Sasquatch uses alternative medicine to unfurry the furries" might be the one
Being well-versed in bonkle truly has its perks.
The cloned corrections officer joke murdered my sides. You are my hero.
May Mata Nui watch over Matoro.😔
Also, I'm surprised you did mention that moment Takadox didn't return the slab.
...Matoro...
Ah yes, when bionicle hit peak aesthetic and story.
Man, the Mahri Nui story is just so good that even a meme version of it is still fire.
I knew the broad strokes, but this is actually insane.
It’s good to have you back man! This one was great, definitely a very bizarre year of Bionicle when you really stop and look at it, but still one of the best
It feels like a crazy DnD campaign xD
I would have described the Baraki as "War criminals who escaped underwater Alcatraz and mutated by a sewage leak" instead of simply "mutated sushi" but good none the less.
A minute and eleven second long flashbang. Well done.
Finally cursed lore for the best arc in bionicle
I'm always impressed by how many comedic gems you can squeeze into these little videos 🔥 Also R.I.P. Matoro, the mad lad 🤍
...Matoro no... *sniffling*
"and call off an ocean scale crawfish boil" my goddamn chest
“Federal prison built by the Freemasons” LOL
"...conveniently overhauling their set designs for retail and deleting their lungs." I both hate and love how accurate this is.
I also like "cloned corrections officer", "zoo plankton kaiju", and "king of hell angry he was outsmarted by children."
Essenger is back at it again with quality content. I treat this videos as Try Not To Laugh sessions and this video got me in 5 seconds. I can not wait for more
"So God Can Live Again" should be an album/song title
Essenger you make such Hilarious Lore Memes as well as making awesome music with Cryoshell
Still waiting for part 9. These are so good.
And we thank you, Ice Jesus.
After actually learning the bionicle lore, I was shocked to find that these videos are actually extremely accurate
Why does nobody appreciate "[...]are so poor that they must grow their own air"? It's a great line.
I love when the masks are refered to as some mundane object. You're not even wrong.
The ad that followed this video literally picked up right where AI Wedgewood’s cadence left off and it was the most jarring thing I’ve ever experienced.
“Ice Jesus puts on the defibrillator and sacrifices his life so God can live again. Here at IHG Hotels…”
You're good at this man, so glad to see you're back!
A very accurate depiction of the 2007 storyline. 😂
2007 was where BIONICLE hit its peak, by far. The last true golden year for BIONICLE as a whole in all honest opinion.
It was also the last time we saw the old socket parts as well.
there really was more and more shit happening. even crazier when you realize this plus the season 6 arc all happened over the course of like a week
I like the description of the 2007 story as being this chaotic clusterfuck, but also one of the most badass parts of the storyline.
"whose residence are so poor, they must grow their own air" goes hard
2007 really was just the Namek Saga of Bionicle
Not a single Lie was spoken for this entire video.
Thought you said "they are so poor they have to grow their own hair"
Put like that, the mahri line was wild as hell, wasn't it? 😂
"gentrified atlantis" ah, such a relatable experience. Bionicle predicting the current economy lol.
Also I love how the final lines sounding increasingly absurd showcase the crazy escalation of Bionicle lore around that time
I spit my water out when you called Nocturn General Grevious
This is my favorite story arc of Bionicle and this video sums up why
I don’t know why the line “federal prison built by the Freemasons” makes me chuckle so much.😂
"the gentrified neighborhood of Atlantis, who's residents are so poor they must grow their own air"
*"Zooplankton Kaiju"*
It's all accurate. It makes fun of everything but, everything it mentions is completely accurate.
Lol, this one isn't even that joke heavy this is literally what happens. Damn Bionicle was wild.
Calling Matoro "Ice Jesus" is probably one of the funniest things I've heard in a while.
The hero returns!
Found this gold after seeing an insta reel that covered 0:42-0:57, but was focussing on Cambrian animals, haha.
I'd really like to use that audio for a quick short, if that's all good. Full credit of course! :)
You’re back with a video about my favorite year of BIONICLE, and I think it’s your best!
Glad to see you back, and thanks for an amazing show in LA as part of your tour last month!
Just the phrase "Ice Jesus" makes this entire series one of the best ways to describe Bionicle
Jokes aside, you can kind of tell by the design for the ice themed guy. He was going to be the green ranger of the series.
What do you mean "be the green ranger"? Is this a reference to Burai dying?
Never forget Matoro died so mata nui could live his sacrific wont be forgotten
YESSSSS, '07 was my favorite year, and this might be your best episode so far. A worthy summary xD
Good to see you back at it with the memes👍
Love this video. My favorite matoran is Dekar, because he goes from yellow fish boi to absolute police chad!
I love that this is both abusrdly accurate and... well, absurd sounding haha
Honestly this is motivation for me to buy OG toa mata bionicle sets.
So awesome to see these videos, 2007 was my favorite year for bionicle! Well done, and thanks for the memories! :D
The Barraki being described as "Mutant Sushi" is a pretty great XD
The BEST era of Bionicle. You can quote me on it, i ain't taking back shit.
Ice jesus my beloved
Comparing the Order of Mata Nui to the Free Masons was not something I was ready for, and I almost choked
Late night Essenger meme post! Yeah baby!
"Whose residents are so poor they must grow their own air"
Gold, pearl gold even, this id why i love this fandom
one of the best story years imo. glad you are back and continuing this series
I both hate and love how accurate all of this is.😂😂😂
This now my favorite video from the channel.😊
Every single bit of this video is actually accurate and I love it.
0:40 That explains 2007's villain lineup pretty accurately.
Can't wait for CURSED Bionicle Lore - PART 9 (2008)
These videos are the Bionicle equivalent of Bottom Gear memes.
And I love them.
0:30 retailing and deleting their Lungs 😂😂😂😂😂
I am so happy. This is one of the best parts of the story, and you explained iy better than I ever could.
They definitely fought general grievous but it looks like he forgot his lightsaber collection lol
Man.... I want Bionicle back.
I always hated how in canon the toa mahri breathe water, yet theur sets have obvious breathing tubes. So to rectify your toys so that they make sense in the story, you might wanna take the tubes off. Or you could just ignore the stupid part of the story where it says they can only breathe water.
They are tube like gills.
Your content is beyond perfect. 😂 Thank you for all the laughs. I have to rewatch each Cursed Lore vid to comprehend and appreciate it all. You make works of art.
I dunno why, but I kinda want Cursed Lore vids for G2.
This is my favourite year of Bionicle because this was when the story was at its most RAW
I love how you’re not wrong about this at all!
Just watched all of them who are out until now and i have only one thing to say :
this
is
amazing
Thank you for making these
BEST ONE YET! Now I have to go research what this General Grievous thing actually is
Every addition to this series has been better than the last. I love this shit
The king is back, the ancient defibrillator worked
Matoro being called ice Jesus is fantastic
"Ice Jesus" is one way to describe matoro