The black population of the U.K. is about 5% or even less, and most of them are concentrated in London. When I lived in London, I had no problem attracting black women. Living outside London now, finding a young black woman who’s single, is like finding a needle in a haystack. The fact is also prefer black women with natural hair, makes it harder. Given the choice, I prefer black women, especially one who’s more culturally aligned with me and can cook my Nigerian dishes but as they say, sometimes the desirable isn’t available. In the meantime, I’m stuck playing around with the Becky’s but when I’m ready, I will move to places where I can find a long term relationship with a black Nigerian woman
Leave the UK and go to Nigeria or some place in Africa to find your bride. Or, go to Canada or the US. But, if you are a Naija man and want more of a traditional Naija woman, your best bet may be Nigeria. Just be intentional even if it means going to a matchmaker when you are ready to marry.
Leeds, Manchester, Birmingham- Big Nigerian communities. You can def find a Nigeruan woman that wants you. Or a woman from the Caribbean that wants you!
not surprised. in 50 years no trace of black people once lived in that country only archives videos will show that like the current black and white video from the 1930
Fair enough, but then the birth rate in general is declining in the West mostly. So the black birth rate in African countries may even this out if most people with black dna are mixed in uk’s future.
@@DamiZain Have a look at the 2001 census - it reveals that as far back as 24 years ago, babies with two black parents were being outnumbered by babies with a white British mother and a black British father of Caribbean descent. The actress Angela Griffin claimed in a documentary that mixed race people (half black - half white) are the largest non-white ethnic minority in the UK. Good video btw.
Sorry for the long comment- One of my family members studied about the Caribbean and Slavery in the UK, she taught me a lot about this. Caribbean men, like many individuals, may date outside their race for a variety of reasons, some of which can be traced back to historical factors. The transatlantic slave trade had a profound impact on Caribbean (descent) families, leading to the separation of families, trauma, mixing families to produce offsprings, the disruption of cultural practices, the exploitation of women and children, and the formation of surrogate families. The legacy of slavery also included the loss of identity and heritage, and long after emancipation, Caribbean societies continued to face economic hardship, racial inequalities, and disrupted family structures. European colonial powers imposed Eurocentric beauty standards for thousand of years, which may have influenced how some people, including Caribbean men, perceive attractiveness. Caribbean men who have moved to or grown up in the UK, where these standards are still prevalent, might have been exposed to such influences in their dating choices. Additionally, during the colonial period, many Caribbean people were taught that England was the "motherland," a belief particularly common among the older generation and reinforced during the Windrush era and now wealth and better lifestyle, black Caribbean units had so many challenges in housing, jobs, education and society. For decades, Caribbean immigrants and their descendants have been integrating into British society. The Windrush generation, arriving post-World War II, experienced significant cultural and social shifts, including challenges related to race and identity. In Western societies, media has played a powerful role in shaping perceptions of beauty, relationships, and success, which may have also influenced dating patterns. The UK Caribbean community was smaller compared to other ethnic groups, which could reduce opportunities for dating within the community, leading some Caribbean men to form relationships with people from other racial backgrounds. Immigration laws during the 1950s to 1970s were often restrictive toward black immigrants, particularly the Windrush generation, and there was a notable effort to limit black migration. During this period, black Caribbean children in the UK often faced discrimination in education, with some being unjustly placed in special schools based on biased assumptions of their intelligence. Being in an interracial relationship, particularly with a white person, might have been seen as a way to navigate some of these challenges during the 1950s to 1970s. However, interracial relationships also came with their own social stigmas and complexities, reflecting the racial tensions of that era. Africans have had a long presence in the UK, dating back centuries.After the abolition of slavery in 1833, all enslaved people in British territories, including the UK, were legally freed. While there was encouragement for some freed black people to resettle in Sierra Leone, this was a voluntary initiative, not a mass deportation. Sierra Leone was originally established as a settlement for freed slaves, particularly those from the Americas and the Caribbean, including black Loyalists and Maroons. Although some Caribbean and British-born black people did move to Sierra Leone, it wasn’t a widespread relocation. Meanwhile, British ships actively patrolled the West African coast to suppress the Atlantic slave trade, freeing captives from intercepted slave ships. During World War I and II, both Caribbean and African men played important roles in supporting the British military. However, despite their contributions, they often faced racial discrimination when they returned to the UK. After World War II, the British government invited Caribbean people to help rebuild the country, leading to the Windrush generation in the late 1940s through the 1960s. During this time, there was a larger wave of Caribbean migration compared to African migration. It wasn’t until the 1990s and 2000s that African immigration to the UK increased significantly, with people arriving from countries like Nigeria, Ghana, and Somalia. While there were also large migrations of Indians to the UK, especially after the partition of India and the expulsion of Asians from East Africa, the Caribbean community was more prominent in the post-war period up until the 1960s. The UK's immigration laws, particularly in the 1950s-1970s, were often restrictive toward black caribbean immigrants who had their children and wives or husband back at home (families were large about 5 or 12)- huge reason why immigration law is part of our lives today, and racial discrimination was widespread, affecting the Caribbean community and others. Interracial relationships at the time came with challenges, but many Caribbean and African people continued to make significant contributions to British society.
Thanks for the contribution of explaining the history. I'm an American Freedman. A Black descendant of US slavery. I find it interesting that in a few generations that Caribbean men in the UK are almost at a majority when it comes to marrying out. However, the Black men in the USA are still hovering at 25 percent for out marriage. In the USA, the statisticians don't break up Black men into ethnic groups like in the UK. Essentially, it's Black men who are the descendants of US slavery aka American Freedmen, and then the Caribbean, South American, and African men who qualify as being "Black/African American" racially. So, we all get thrown together in one category based on race vs. ethnicity. That being said, I don't know which ethnic group of Black men have the highest out marriage rate here in the USA. However, Black men here have a higher rate of out marriage compared to Black women. But, as a category, it is a comparable rate to the African men in the UK. Meaning around 75 plus percent of Black men here marry Black women. I am shocked that our number of men marrying out is so low compared to Caribbean men who have been on the mainland UK for a shorter period of time. Also, when they do marry out, it's a lesser percentage of Yt women. A lot of 🖤 men here are moving past them because of the "Karen" reputation Yt women have earned in the USA and the high profile divorces of 🖤 men from their Yt wives that were "nasty". Their flavor now is ethnic women of color from different countries and mixed raced women. Most of them still marrying 🖤 women. I wonder why that is. I think in the USA, it may go either up or down because the racial tensions are at an all time high here, and immigrant relations are going down hill, but then you have more people accepting of interracial unions and interesting unions more now than in the past.
A lot of black men do correlate whiteness with status and success. I had my friend’s cousin who was trying to speak to me at an event later tell me that he would like to settle down with a white girl because they would be able to help his business succeed. This is the same man that came with his long hand and wanted me to buy things from the shop for him. He then attempted to speak to a white girl he spotted who had no interest in him. I genuinely hope he found his white woman and his business is doing well.
I think that the conversation of black men dating white women isn't the main issue in these newer trending stories anymore. There's a lot of black men that date black women but what do these black women usually look like? They are normally either mixed race or racially ambiguous (because a slight tan these days can qualify as black online). The ones that do date darker-skinned black women normally prefer the straight or loose curled wigs on them. The ones that say they prefer natural, they don't mean anything that's 4b or below (unless they are the very few 'earthy' type guys), they're talking goddess braids or the locs on a 90s Lisa Bonet. There needs to be a distinction because this is where darker-skinned black women are ignored or gas-lit. We need to talk about some black men and women that have internalised racism/colourism/texturism and this reflects in the way they physically present themselves and their dating 'preferences'. We need to discuss the black men & women that were bullied by their families, friends and school mates for their skin tone and/or hair type. They grow up and only want to date people that look nothing like them and can have children who won't have to go through that type of discrimination. I think they think that by doing so, they are able to tell their kids that they're beautiful and actually mean it, sadly because of their own deep-rooted insecurities. A lot of people are not going to admit to this self hate, which is why they will get really defensive when their 'preference' is questioned. I also think that the black men who take part in mocking or degrading black women don't understand that it comes from their internalised hate. Anyone who loves and respects themselves would not find any of that funny, they would be highly offended by even the thought of it, let alone saying it out loud in a microphone. Lastly, a lot of them haven't been seriously checked by their peers (fellow black men) for these views frequently enough, which is why they can sit on global platforms and not think twice about mocking and disrespecting black women. It is mainly black women who always have to do the outcrying and dragging of these ignorant men. The genuine concern and disrespect is unfortunately not taken seriously enough or downplayed because of the stereotypes of always being angry and aggressive.
@@Emc2ky I did mention both genders when I said 'We need to talk about some black men and women that have internalised racism/colourism/texturism and this reflects in the way they physically present themselves and their dating 'preferences'. I would have developed on this point even further but I felt like I was already making it too long lol, so thanks for adding this point.
I am a 3rd generation Caribbean woman who is a professional and comes from a Christian background. Both parents and grandparents are married and stayed married. I wanted marriage and a happily ever after. I found men in my community didn't want this and would prefer to just have relationships and children outside of wedlock. They sometimes have wider issues and come from difficult backgrounds. They also like the concept of 50 50 and some even use you when they know you have a good career. So I went were I was appreciated. My now husband courted me, asked my dad for my hand in marriage and married me. He is a doctor, no children for anyone else and no issues. He adores me and our children. He saw me as a wife not a baby mother and ensured we only had children after we got married. He provides for me and our children and is happy for me to stay home We live a good life. My husband happens to be white English. Ladies go where you are loved and adored. Don't put up with struggle love, ghetto romance and settle for these men who just want sex and to have children for everyone and anyone.
Average guys are invisible to women. 80% of us are average Black men that date Black women, but 80% of are not athletes, entertainers, 6 figure earners.
@@DamiZain But how many "average" girls think they are above average. I've never met a woman that doesn't think she's a 10. She could be overweight with bad hygiene. And she's turning down men because they are under 6 foot.
Some women. Likely not the worst filter to have, these types of girls are usually very susceptible to peer pressure. its often not about what they even want, but what they think will improve their status among peers. A strong woman who can advocate for herself won't have this issue and will just date who she wants.
I think you’ve bought into the stereotypes online will feed you. There are plenty of girls out there who would be happy with an “average” man or whatever that is.
@@DamiZain Oh for sure. I'm not an incel doomer. I meet women on a day to day. that are tapped into reality, but even in those cases. there is a touch entitlement that's very off putting. And sadly this climate makes things harder for the average guy to make connections. I nearly got kicked out of a bar for offering to pay for 2 ladies drinks. The climate is difficult, and entitled and defensive attitudes make it worse. I'm not trying to blame women, just offering a broader perspective.
Then you have Black folks who are obsessed with White jesus and Arab mohamed, but hate their Black culture. Cultured Black folks do not want to raise the next generation of Black kids to worship white jesus and Arab mohamad. So, they rather search and search for partners who align with their train of thoughts. In truth, relationships is hard these days. A lot of folks are in unhappy marriage and union But are trapped by fear of being homeless or unable to pay the mortgage.
Thank you, Dámi, for your video and for sharing the statistics and your perspective. I, too, am tired of hearing the perpetuated narrative that Black British men are not interested in Black British women. As a British-born Ivorian, I am very much attracted to black women, and they are my preference. Of course, there are black men who have internalised racism and don't appreciate black women, and I'm not here to dismiss anyone's experience. However, this behaviour is not exclusive to black men; there are black women who have internalised racism too. Here's my personal take: black people who prefer to date interracially often say they've had negative experiences while dating other black people, which is valid, but I think this is more of a justification. My previous relationship with my ex, a black woman, left me heartbroken, but it was important to see her as an individual and not project my experience with her onto all black women, which I think is an important distinction. I'm not against interracial dating, but I dislike it when people do so while putting black people down.
The problem is that most black women just settle .! I am happily married in an interracial relationship.! Never sacrifice your happiness to please others….
I guess you're right, it wouldn't be settling if you were looking for someone none black, eg: your preference.. being with someone that looks like you is not settling.😢
The level of ignorance and self hate in your comment is pungent. It is women like you who seek proximity to whiteness and will contort your self-worth just to be close enough and be able smell the flatulence of the colonizers.
As a black British Caribbean woman I disagree that it’s because we see it in the media. My opinion is based on my experience. Born in the 80s so social media was not a thing when I was dating or at school. Black men never liked me or found me attractive, I’m not overweight and I don’t have a tree growing out my head (as my mum would say!) lol. I wouldn’t even say I was a stereotypical black woman, not that that should be an issue, but I was shy and quiet. So I like others chose to go where I was appreciated. Also I did not have any stupid unrealistic expectations. I was just looking for a guy with a job, who was taller than me! I was not able find a black Caribbean guy that was actually attracted to me, never mind on my level. When I say my level, it’s nothing crazy. I just mean decent job, went to uni, had a good education, and financially educated. The online dating bias towards black women is due to black men’s preferences, the websites try to match you to what you tell them you like. You make it sound like they are just prioritising white women, but that isn’t the case. I like your cup half full attitude but those are still high percentages of people dating outside their race. I would like to see this compared to Indian, Chinese and other ethnicities then you will see the issue more clearly. I also think there is a difference between the reasoning of why black men and black women date outside their race. I think most black women would prefer to date within there race but feel like they have to go to other races to be appreciated. With black men more of them prefer to date outside their race based on looks, some are just not attracted to black women. I think it’s is really sad.
That's interesting. I'm younger than you(in my 20s) and I'm an african british raised and I've never really had problems attracting black and mixed carribean men and people seem to think I'm carribean. So when I heard black women complain about black men not wanting to date them, I could never understand.
@@Lalaland099 I share the same experience as you - only men tend to guess right that I’m Nigerian. I’m in my 30s and I’ve never had issues attracting both British Caribbean and British African men. As ever everyone has their unique experience and the stats show it’s pretty mixed. It doesn’t tip all to one side and further more a significant number of Black British people are in relationships with each other according to the last official recorded data. The 2018 Official National Statistics (ONS) says 33% of British Black men were in interracial relationships. It’s a mixed bag but one narrative keeps being shared online.
The stats say otherwise. If 20% of British African men are in interracial relationship that means 80% aren’t. So no, more of them don’t prefer. The online dating preferences take into account men of ALL races, so if you believe it’s because black men don’t prefer black women that really men’s men in general don’t. As for other races? White men date out as much if not more than black men, Asian women date out significantly more than their male counterparts too.
One thing that needs to be addressed is the cultural differences. A lot of ppl date interracially cos they have gripes with their home culture, especially if their home culture is hyper traditional and is heavy on gender roles. As a black community we are still very stuck on gender roles and want to use patriarchal norms to our convenience. We can see this in the 50/50 topic the whole divine masc and divine fem movement. In the UK, a lot of immigrants hold this old school mentality and those who dont align with the old school mentality will likely find a british person who leans more egalitarian. In short, LET GO OF THE OLD DAYS and adapt the times, many black people are stuck in the past and see it as some ultimate utopia.
Good discussion - would be interesting to see the stats for other races on the screen too, just to compare if people from other races vary their choices as much.
I'm a black Caribbean man recently married to a black Caribbean woman. I feel as though a lot of young people online, especially black women and men, instead of doing the necessary reflective/reflexive work, maybe seeking support from mental health professionals, working on themselves, travelling and exploring new things tend to go online to hear what they want to hear. After experiencing heartbreak. Its an inevitable part of growing up imo, but im happy looking back that i experienced it now because i never would have met my wife. Not saying ive been perfect... ive messed up myself... but experiences are meant to be learnt from. The black 'relationship influencers' who will go on about how "black women aint £%=/" or "black men ain't s=/÷".... the whole never ending ratio debate (e.g. 50/50, 40/60, 80/20, etc...)... a load of people in a never ending process of licking each others wounds, never reaching the stage of being truly healed and ready to date again. That benefits all these social media influencers too because once they cannot benefit from the insecurity of others they cannot easily profit. I hate all these influencers. What i will say about my own experience as a black man outside of London (in the midlands) is that the London dating scene is truly depressing. The pool of mentally stable and pleasant men and women seems very low. I moved to London in the past and my experience of the city wasn't great at all. The culture of the city just doesnt contribute to an environment that facilitates dating. My experience of Londoners (black women in the city) were overinflated egos, rudeness, low confidence and unrealistic exoectations when it comes to men. Theres just something about London that makes a lot of people unpleasant. Im not saying all Londoners are, but the worst experiences ive had in terms of dating have been there. I would never move back to London. Moved back up north, met the woman who is now my wife and ive never been so happy. So many black men and women in London ive talked to when i talk about looking outside the city, respond to me like "are you mad?" Also my experience with African women hasnt been great. Definitely the pressure to conform and abandon my traditions and embrace theirs instead of us embracing both sides and bringing both families together. I cant deal with the Caribbean bashing. The min i hear that its a huge turn off.
I can echo your London dating experience, horrible!! the rude & poorly educated is what I was faced with, all my past dating experiences were with Black Women in Jamaica, it's so apparent that Black Women in London are very different...... its inexplicable!!
@@advocateproductions656 The dating pool when it comes to black women in London imo doesnt seem great. London is full of women that look so beautiful. Some stunning women in London. The downfall is the bad attitude, entitlement, rudeness, the lack of humility, lack of respect for a mans time (being late for dates and not giving AF). When you come from somewhere else the feistiness of London women is just confusing and makes you just want to move in the other direction. Looks aren't everything and London learns you that. Its a truly depressing mostly superficial city where you need to put on a front, not smile, not appear too open and not appear to be weak. Aggressive is a label that is stuck to black women and that is a stereotype, but what isn't is the aggressive London culture that black men and women are often forced to conform to and when I'm with a black woman from London giving me cr%£ and I think "why so aggressive" there's understandable backlash. They ain't understand it ain't like this in other places. Londoners might come at me and argue that it's just a different culture and you just don't get it. The large number of lonely black men and women in the city however just signals that very culture (the aggressive, competitive culture) isn't healthy when it comes to dating.
In terms of interracial relationships, the black African community are together, marrying and having children together etc, Caribbean British people don’t date each other, black Caribbeans are always in interracial relationships, mainly black Caribbean men with white women and black Caribbean women date African men or date non black
Most Caribbean women are not dating non black or even African. Most still desire Caribbean men, but have come to realise that most Caribbean men don't value marriage or fidelity. So reluctantly a few will date non black. However, most Caribbean women I know will not date African men cause they have their ISH too, plus the added challenge of Africans feeling they are superior to Caribbeans.
@@Coco-uk9tvAfrican BRITISH men don’t take issue with carribeans- we live and grow up in the same communities. Besides, how will whites not have a superior complex to the carribeans they once colonised?
@@realnewsnews9786I could be wrong and if so, it must be young millennials then. Definitely not Gen X or young Gen Z. PS not angry at Africans at all, just speaking what I experience and hear.
I think ALOT of the issue also includes the success of these relationships, issues with infidelity and feeling like a back up plan which doesn't necessarily get represented by stats because someone could even be married and not really value Black women but still be with them which is another reason why people would take that perspective. I think alot of the thoughts and feelings are not just quantitative but also qualitative and lived experience stuff. But I do believe that yeah we should look at this holistically. It would be cool to look at all the arguments and look into them alot more 😌 teehee. Thanks for the video.
I completely agree with you! In my first video on this topic, I left the stats out because I do feel they can sometimes misrepresent what’s truly happening. But as I mentioned in the video, I got comments about how lived experiences wasn’t enough. Some even said lived experiences were invalid without the stats. So I thought ok, let’s see the stats people so badly want me to refer to. 😂 I think the issue is people always assume the worst and depending on their individual narrative can sometimes see either side (interracial dating or dating black) as a potential negative or the problem with dating today. When really finding love (no matter who it’s from) is a positive. And the reason why the dating pool is so shit is beyond the race we choose to date. There are challenges on both sides of the coin. Thanks for watching and sharing your opinion ❤️
Nice video. Well balanced and informative. Thank you. The negativity and hatred against Black women that I've seen on social media from Black men, has most likely forever made me unattracted to Black men. Racism prevents me from wanting to date any other race, so I'm focused on being my best self. I have enough to keep me busy and happy. I've been engaged twice and decided not to go through with it. I'm good. The pickings are too slim and rotten nowadays.
I completely relate to you here! Only I’ve met some amazing men in real life so I’m not completely unattracted to them. I’ve witnessed some horrid interracial relationships and I’ve also experienced terrible black relationships. I don’t think the grass is greener on any side. Men will be men and each has its challenges. I think finding the right partner is a lot more complex than just race. Thanks for watching and commenting too ❤️
Not balanced at all. Balance involves, questioning, quoting reputable sources, books, studies and philosophies. a lot of what was said in this video was taken from TikTok, instagram and quick google search. I don’t see the balance when the video is 99% unchallenged thoughts.
@@alvinabbam1333 I took the stats from the Census - the official Gov website not Google. Resources are in the caption. I also opened the comments up for discussion and challenge of my opinions. Why don’t you provide further resource to add to the discussion? 😊
My friend who is a white Greek girl has the same problem, she says most Greek men prefer English girls because of their blonde hair and pale skin, and Italian men prefer blonde pale English girls then Mediterranean girls, I think overall the white pale woman is every man’s preference and the further you get away from that the least desired you are, I personally don’t think the white Aryan look is not that appealing but men are obsessed with white skin, they would rather a plain not so attractive girl then a prettier girl with a darker shade as long as she is white, this goes for all races of men
I admit, I prefer pale women. I'm Welsh, so everyone I grew up with was pale. Not blonde though. Very few blonde people in Wales when I was growing up.
I am a French Carribean and I grew up in a city with a large black community i.e. Carribean and African. In primary school, I saw African women litterally fighting with men. I got into arguments with Carribean women all the time as they would take the p*ss and be disrespectful. I really don't know where this attitude comes from but it wasn't appreciated at all by the black men around me, and myself. Carribean women from Guadeloupe and Martinique were relatively successful with black men if they were the quiet ones. However African women were really struggling to find men. During my teenage years, the prize for black men was to get an Asian/Vietnamese woman. As there is a large vietnamese community in France, there were opportunities and they would go for vietnamese women over a black or a white woman. Personnaly, I only date cool women, if the attitude or manners are bad, I walk away and this is not negotiable. I dated all type of women, I really don't discriminate but from my experience, Asian women were extremely agreable.
Martinique(and Gwada too) has the most beautiful women in the entire west indies. I went one time and I wanted to cry 😂. Even when they speak patois to you, (the Martiniquans would call it kreyol) when they speak it to you it's soooo beautiful and soft. And their sweet accent is intoxicating hahaha. I really hope the stress and strife with the Lavi Che gets fixed in Martinique. I hate to see the french come and harass my lovely Black people. One love from Grenada ❤️💛💚
What I find across the board is the many date outside their race, because of better opportunities. I have noticed that most interracial relationships are based on getting a better foothold in society or it's a sexual fetish. Social media does play a big roll in dating, it almost seems like dating has become more aristocratic. Black men wants to date black women, dating in your society makes you feel in some why connected. You know exactly what to expect when you date within the community.
As a black American i can agree with this i divested back in 2005 by 2008 i had a baby but i can say the looks i use to get from other blacks here in america was crazy now in 2024 im dating a Nigerian man
People are always so quick to point fingers to interracial relationships as the reason the black community isn't doing good. And it's so easy to claim that these men hate themselves. I just think nobody seems to want to acknowledge there might actually be valid reasons some men seek women outside their communities. Particularly men with demanding careers or men who have money. Nobody wants to do the hard work and look in the mirror. The unfortunate reality is some aspects of our culture we have created that make it difficult for prosperous relationships to flourish. Both of our masculine and feminine energies are unbalanced and wounded. While nobody is perfect, I think sometimes people outside of our community are more easy to get along with. Hate me if you want but its a valid question. Cause we make things very hard for ourselves compared to say, the Sikh community or the Indian community, who find their partner and call it a day.
True. I am a black woman and I am in a successful interracial relationship (getting married in 3 weeks). I had dated black men before my fiance. However, if I really only wanted or could only date inside my race/ethnic group, I would simply find a man who's values I was aligned with and just get on his program. It would be that simple.
I agree in part. I also think both interracial and intra-racial relationships have their challenges. For some interracial relationships, you might have to teach your partner about the black woman experience as it’s unlikely they’ll understand it or see our point of view. Especially if you’re dating a well off white man. The privilege they experience makes it hard for them to empathise with our experience. Add in potential racism and it can be draining. Likewise in intra-racial relationships black women may have to teach their black partners about misogyny and how the intersection of racism and sexism can affect us. I don’t think the grass is greener on any side. I think women should pick a man based on his individual mindset and character and not his race. Go where you are loved and respected by the individual you’re looking to date. Thanks for watching and commenting too ❤️
@@MsLotusBlooms You're right, it would be that simple - but life isn't simple neither are relationships. What people want in a partner is more than just a skin colour and a value system, it's a package of personality, looks, values, weight, height, sex appeal etc etc maybe some men just can't find the package they want in one race so opt to find it in another - similarly I can recognise why a lot of black women are dating outside of their race now, they're probably finding the package they want more often in other men. At the end of the day as long as people are doing what makes them happy I don't mind. I just find the bitter back and forth black men and black women have sometimes exhausting and the most unattractive thing in the world. I just want a person who makes my life easier and I look for that in a woman as do many men. If you come with a ton of baggage and insecurities you're not for me,
I found the end of this comment interesting because other communities stick with their chosen partner, but it is not always the fairytale. The difference is that there is a lot of pressure to save face in the community. Things go wrong, everybody knows about your business, all the Aunties talking about you, it even gets back to family back home… so the pressure of the potential shame of failure makes you reside in a marriage that may have lots of ups and downs, abuse, betrayal etc., that you are unhappy with. You stick with it because the alternative is unpalatable, and you must have thick skin to leave the marriage. In some regions of the African diaspora, it is still like this. I'm not saying reputational shame is a reason to stay in a bad relationship; I just think it should be highlighted why some communities have partnerships that look, outwardly, like they have longevity. Admittedly people will find balance and work through their issues also. This should also be recognised.
Being honestly after reading a lot of the comments 😂 I can tell a lot of bm & bw are hurt instead of healing from past traumas “ow I need to divest the white men or women this” it’s really boring 🥱. I feel like it’s more of a personal issue and stop acting like bm and women are your problem cause they aren’t it’s you. I said my piece 😂 great video though ❤
I've lived in the UK for over 20 years and from my experience living in two cities including London, here's what I’ve observed-I'm not exaggerating. African men who have recently arrived fresh out of the country typically within the last five years, often stay with women from their own communities. I’ve rarely come across black men born in the UK who show interest in or date black women, unless they live in London. You made a significant point towards the ending about how black people from different cultures perceive each other, often due to a lack of empathy. Whenever I see a black woman in an interracial relationship, it often seems she's dating outside her race because she feels more valued elsewhere, as her own men may not appreciate her features. At the end of the day women, especially, need to go where they feel desired and valued.
I just want to point out that African men who have immigrated aren’t part of these stats as they are not a British National - they aren’t “British Black”. But I do agree British Black people in London tend to date each other more because London is more populated with black people and is much more diverse than the rural areas.
I lived in London for over a decade. London bp always try to say they are outliers, but lots of London bm date out or date mixed women. True, Africans are a little different, but at this point in history, they are still not very British. Most have strong connections to their homelands and probably visit often or moreso than Caribs who are now 3rd or 4th gen. Then African people who are from places like Nigeria have tribal ties or Africans just have ties to their home country and have been raised to view that as paramount in choosing a partner. Africans who are newer to this country as a whole cannot be compared to Caribs who have been here for generations, lost ties to their culture and heritage that would see them stay in group. I think it will also change for Africans here a lot as time goes on and more mixing with people from different backgrounds in the UK happens. London isn't some magical place where the bp are more pro black than those of us who live elsewhere.
This may be the result of the constant societal denigration that black women have faced within the dating pool, (An okaycupid survey recorded that most men on the site rated black women as the least attractive) , hence why there has been a visible rise in black women exploring the ideas of dating outside of their race or I should say cultural background. Unfortunately, the constructs surrounding the paramountcy of whiteness is something that some black men knowingly or subconsciously subscribe to and so in order to secure their spot in the perceivable yet inconspicuous societal hierarchy, they denounce blackness. This is obviously the few who see no virtues in being black except the fact that they are constantly displayed as a commodity - through being "genetically gifted", - without being explicit you can gather what I'm hinting at. As well as a biological upperhand athletically, though these are less to do with race and all to do with genetics, genetics are fickle in nature. These are just stereotypes. However, due to homogenous reasons, black women and black men, as well as their racial counterparts are most likely to date within similar ethnic backgrounds due to common exposure and familiarity. In other words, because it's the safest option.
@@catherine6771 Well parts of that Study go back over 20 years, so BW have had a WM preference for as long as we can remember.. Even in the 60's BW/WM Marriages outnumbered BM/WW marriages 60/40 post Loving case Decision.. Also it couldn't be due to denigration, because no one has been more denigrating to BW than WM.. That's basically saying BM shaming BW for Twerking on a Restaurant Table is more denigrating than the KKK.. The other part of that Study shows BM Prefer BW and WW are their least desired mate.. The difference is this Study was done by 3 PHD Sociologists including a BW, the other was OK Cupid. What backs this Study is the amount of Million Subscriber Swirl Channels compared to BM, matter of Fact BW are the only group that has big swirl channels
@@civildiscourse7626 I in no way implied that black men can not date outside of their race. Love is love and it does not see boundaries especially with respect to race. In fact I explicitly referred to the black men who see no value in blackness so they deter from it. Black women do too, bleaching is a common expression of this. This conversation is about the tropes and struggles surrounding the dating pool and the clichés that influence it. People can date who they want to date as long as there are 0 negative connotations behind whoever they subsequently pick. We were referring to black women who commonly date within their own ethnic background because of homogeneity but are now exploring other options that defy their previous reservations, especially because black women according to statistics are seen as being at the bottom of the dating pool.
@@civildiscourse7626 Actually no. In the same study (done by 3 PHD Sociologists including a BW). It shows BM see BW as their most desired mate, & WW are their least desired mate.. It's an almost 20 years study
I'm a Caribbean black man and I've never had a good relationship with a Caribbean black woman and African black woman am I experienced there's too much negativity and selfishness and disrespect it will be nice to have something good with somebody within my race but at age I'm at now I don't think that's ever going to happen and I'm not even going to try
Genuinely, you believe all the problems that exist in the dating scene rest solely on men ? I sometimes struggle to believe people can have such myopic viewpoints. Like it begs the question of how intelligent you are.
@@DamiZain you’re not wrong at all. I simply think it’s beyond stupid to assume all the problems that exist in the dating scene are due to misogyny. Like you could name any number of things: the inability of modern men and women to reconcile their gender roles, the increasing alienating nature of society, high cost of living in late stage capitalism etc etc but just saying “ITS MISOGYNY” just makes you seem kind of dull tbh
the fetishisation is so real. My friend went home with a white girl one night and when we met up the next day, he described the encounter as her trying to act out an interracial porn scene while they were having sex. She was saying things like “f***me with that big black c***!” He realised afterwards that she had a lot of pictures of (he assumed) was her and her white bf around her room. He didn’t stay over but it was the most clear cut example of someone living out a fantasy we'd ever come across. This happened early in our twenties (a decade ago) and usually the immaturity of us would mean we'd “celebrate” going home with a girl but with that experience even we were like🤨 You’re right about social media. Negative stereotypes generate the most views and if you watch a few videos it’s scary how quickly your feed becomes taken over with similar content. Even I found myself having brief thoughts of how bad black men and women are despite me being mixed and raised by a black mother.
Most black men have been in this situation we dont talk about it enough but when it happened to me i swore off to IR. Theres white folks literally using us as walking dildos.
@@Crukren89 What gave it away? when they ask you at 12:30a.m. 'wanna go home with me?' lol is that when you finally got it? or when they text you at 3a.m 'hey where are you?' I can only speak for myself but my parents didn't teach me NOTHING! now I know EVERYTHING and how humans work. I prefer to be on my own, peace and tranquility.
Hey huns! Thanks for tuning in! I hope you enjoy the conversation. Do share your opinions and experiences (if you feel comfortable to of course). Would love to hear from you!🤎
Black people as a whole have been conditioned to believe that close proximity to whiteness is success or is more likely to give you access to white privilege.
Wrong. You know who have been the nicest to me as a Black man? Non-Black women. When I was broke they were nice to me. When I was taking the bus on my way to school or coming home from work they were nice to me. For some reason you folks always ignore that before celebrities were famous and athletes were known by all, they were normal people. And I can guess who were not nice to them? People tend to settle down with people who were nice to them. I could be wrong, but that is what happened in my case.
@@gorillabang79 they’ll gaslight you but you’re not wrong. Log in to social media now and all you see is black women calling regular hard working 9-5 men dusties and broke. Now you can try and deny it all you like but that impacts a persons self esteem, especially young men who are born into a system they had no part in creating. Why wouldn’t they seek people who affirm them and treat them nicely ?
@@ghostinashell3116 😂 As a Nigerian British woman, I know a lot of you like black women. I also hope you don’t assume this video is “bashing black men”. Thanks for commenting 😊
Why as a Nigerian man do you think Nigerian men are special? I see lots of Nigerian men with white women and/or bashing bw. Im tired of Nigerian men acting like they don't engage in behaviors they criticise Caribbean men for. I see foolishness on both sides.
@@Toastfacekillah87 I didn’t know Nigerian men set themselves apart from Caribbean men? I thought it as more African vs Caribbean (well more so in the older generation) Is this still a thing?
@@ghostinashell3116 it's why I can't deal with Nigerians sometimes. Love y'all and I love how y'all are proud of your culture, but you don't need to bash other cultures and people. Look in the mirror before you criticise Caribbeans and think "we don't do that here". I'm proud of my Jamaica roots.
The problem, or part of it is that young black people in England these days are dating like the Oyinbo do. There are more nuances that we need to navigate. Is the partner Westernised or traditional. How do they want to raise children. How much are they immersed in culture. Are they liberal or Conservative. Sickle Cell. Are they religious, spiritual or indifferent. Are they materialistic or not. Attitude to legacy, generational wealth etc. We cant just date anyhow...for many, the choice of partner is beyond beauty. It's about generational blessings and breaking generational curses.
Me personally I'm a white guy I think interacial relationships are the most natural thing iin the world there's nothing at all wrong with it feels so natural and good 😊
Well articulated analysis @Dami I think there are deliberate efforts to scuttle blacks union. Africans need to be conscious of these. Even some Caribbeans despise continental Africans for dating/marriage complaining they are being too traditional and vice versa. Also, infidelity and betrayal is a big issue within black communities. It happens within other races but ours is just disheartening. Of course there’re success stories but the unsuccessful rate is alarming. Most black women expectations are way too overboard . The dating pool is getting a lot hostile for blacks, especially new immigrants without a big purse, high class jobs, and jolly accents 😁. The narratives must change otherwise ‘we’re in soup’
Hmm some interesting perspectives here. I think we’re more attuned to the unsuccessful relationships in the black community because we don’t have as much access to the lives of other races to see that they experience it just as much as we do. Infidelity too. Thanks for watching and sharing your opinions 😊
@@DamiZainI live in a predominantly white area and have white friends and associates in both my personal and professional life. It may be a class thing, but from what I've observed is that they value fidelity and family and that the welfare of the children comes first even if the relationship breaks down. On second thoughts, it may not even be class, because I know many working class white couples that are the same. I think black people generally do not communicate openly and transparently, so a lot of things go unsaid which leads to resentment. Lots of PA behaviour and hiding. An unwillingness to show vulnerability and to put egos aside.
The Statistics seem to be reflective of the online noise, I think those rates are much higher than what currently happens in the USA. It means than 1 out 2 Caribbean men and 1 in 4 African men, that is very high. It would be nice if you could do some further analysis how it compares to other races or ethnicities in the UK, also can the age demographic be broken down, is it that high for the Caribbean men because its reflective of marriages from the Windrush era and for the African it would be nice to know what age demographic is moving towards interracial relationship for all we know the percentage might be much higher for younger African men, maybe the 75% is just couple's who immigrated from Africa together, I think that's worth another video. Well Done Dami
I agree in part but I want to point out that immigrants are not “British Black” as they are not Nationals. So aren’t included in Black British stats here. But I definitely agree the immigrants tend to stick to their own and younger Black Brits also date interracially more (both men and women). Thanks for watching and commenting! 😊
48-60% of Caribbean men dating out is a big statistic. If you explore the trends between other ethnic minorities this is unusual. The biggest issue is that successful black women are finding it hard to find a man who is at least their equal financially as these men are more likely to date out.
@@Arian-vf6jo I agree with you on the financial part (that’s been my struggle personally). 48-60% (in 2011) is high but then 40-50% British Caribbean men dating black is also a significant amount. And then in 2018 the stats also said 33% of Black British men were in interracial relationships… suggesting 67% of them were dating black. Which is also high! It’s a shame we don’t have more recent stats to go off. But we should look at it holistically. Thanks for watching and commenting! 😊
@@DamiZainIt's not that simple. The Caribbean men who do date black mostly, most not all, are not marrying, so the rate of fatherless Caribbean households is high, which has led to the lack of socioeconomic progress of Caribbeans in the UK. The majority of Caribbean men who date black have multiple children by different women and they rarely live with one woman in one household raising child/ren together as a unit. Infidelity is rife and is normalised in Caribbean culture. The most likely outcome when dating Caribbean men is that he will make you a baby mother before making you his wife, even if you are wife material. Caveat, I said most, which means I know there are a few exceptions.
@@Coco-uk9tv It’s definitely not that simple! I haven’t even begun to go into marriage and why it’s on the decline. There’s so much more to discuss on this topic for sure! ❤️
@@DamiZain I would ask then that when you tackle this topic, you look at Caribbeans as distinct from Africans, because the cultures and traditions are distinct. There are also distinctions between countries in Africa, as well as countries in the Caribbean. However, I understand the simplicity of generalising. Also there are huge populations of black people outside of London, for example Birmingham, Manchester, Bristol, Leeds, Liverpool, Reading, Sheffield etc, I could go on. People tend to think everything outside of London is just bare country side, but other conurbations exist too.
My successful black friends who also attended private schools are married to non-black women, mostly Polish, Turkish, English, and Japanese women. Their reasons are as followed, they claim black women they've met seem very agressive, masculine, argumentative, not traditional and having mental health issues due to being fatherless. I see plenty of high earning black men marrying non black women, but I'm not seeing a lot of high earning white men marrying black women. This is an interesting topic.
So interesting that a small proportion of the black community can have such rigid and monolithic views surrounding a population of people that make up the 7.8 billion of black people in the world. Stereotypes are incredibly stifling.
@catherine6771 bw just needs to do what's best for them at and stop seeking validation and answers from bm. These are the type of comments they come up with that reveal a lot of self hatred and serious hatred of bw.
There are certain types of people who fetishise blackness and want to date black men. Women with more sense choose someone, because of more than just their skin colour.
Those successful relationships are everywhere, but not on social media. Really social media, online dating, etc... is not an accurate cross section of society at all. Tons of people have jobs where they not even really able to use social media so easily. Particularly in defence, pharma, fiancial services.... All the main infustries in the UK. Another thing would be good to see is 'black success' which isn't from sports, entertainment, or criminality. You spot on with the being pitted against eachother comment. Divide and conquer tactics getting increasingly blatent across society these days. Check out the marriage statistics perhaps and see what they add more colour or not.
@@DamiZain much love . Got to say there is something about the way you covering these topics which makes it particularly compelling to comment/discuss. I never had any inclination to share anything online before. Never thought it might be on a topic such as this one! Keep it up! 💪
omo Oduduwa @@DamiZain I do get very pissed off, when Black folks talk of needing to see successfully married couples on TV, to build their confidence. What a load of dodo. Listen, l see married, professional Black folks every day, in the BBC Since my birth in the manor. These are regular Black folks, who are the pillar of the BBC The problem we have today is, this Internet generation of BB kids, are the worst generation ever. They think the Internet is real life. Their idea of a successful Black persons is a thicko online influencerr, footballers, mumble rappers, IG models or worst, road manz. I am tire of the utter bollocks drivel online talk. Comedian London wanted to drum up support for her career in Amerikkk, so she put out that bogus generalisations claim that all Black men in the UK, do not want to date BW. Then, she claim that one Black man, she dated, ask her to put her wig on, during intercourse. I guess, she had a knack for bounty type BM. One last point, do the BBC in the UK and the FBA in the USA, not understand that, this gender war between BM and BW and the Disporal wars beefs, are all a divide and conquer plan by WS anti-Black racists, to sow discord among Black folks????????
I do think that because black people are at the bottom of the economic ladder the negative externalities of crony capitalism shows its extremeties in our group because of this fact. I also think the voice of black social dynamics has been hijacked mainly by western viewpoints and mainly individuals who are in a way trauma dumping at a fact. In the current economic conditions we are put against each other even more so with social media on top to project unrealistic expectations on both fronts. Also the use of data can be quite misleading yours was quite balanced in my viewpoint but data collection and analysis in social sciences are quite flawed because a lot of people were just not trained in statistics properly I am saying this as a mathematician. I do think also our culture has promoted quite negative things as the popular and cool thing. I think we have made hood culture and criminal elements a huge part of what is cool especially when we are young and against high educaitonal achievement or being normal. This has had crippling consequences in the black male population and additionally some of the dating preferences of black women at a young age. I have seen anecdotaly the black men who did not ascribe to these sub cultures were rejected by black women and men and hence relegated to interracial choices in university. The same thing happens to black women . I will say in terms of the interracial dating this is where I see a huge problem there is a obsession with white interracial dating in particular 1 and 2 there is a generalization of whites as superiror to blacks from both the men and women. This opens up black people to predators with The women are oversexualizing black men as you said and actually treating them in some ways as pets and the white men are using black women to act out their sexual exotic fantasies as well. The dangers too is these individuals will come at you from a point of finding your blackness attractive but a wolf in sheeps clothing. I remember this white guy tell me he finds black women easy practice sexually and there seems to be a idea in white guys heads that black women worship them and they are easy prey so to speak. On the white woman side I have seen similar sentiments and as someone who has a preference for black women the online echo chamber in lue with personal experience has been quite offputting. I do not have anything against dating out but generalizing a race based on anecdotal experience is not only putting us against each other and saying white >black and opening us up to be furtherly stereotyped and racialized. I had horrible anecdotal experiences with dating black people but it was not because black people were bad I just happen to have got with the wrong people at the time and now I am happily engaged. I do find that black men are more at fault in this regard and this opens more complexities you have the black men who had a lot of options in the black community and those who didnt. However generalizating based on anedotal experience is for you therapist and not for social media. We need to have compassion for each other and foster better discussion. Also we need to put more positive role models in our media, our current media leaders are quite negative moving forward.
It is also a global situation where western youngsters, of all colours, are not brought up with religious values. They lust after the exterior rather than value, what is inside. This is shown in the success between the British black community and the African community. Africa and Asian children, out do British white and black children in exam results, it is their strict culture, that keeps them on the straight and narrow and probably a religious background.
@@LELE2113-c8q solutions for the black dating landscape?? Im gonna be real and say there aint no going back from here. The damage has been done. Its the youngers we need to get at because negative black connotations are being glamorised bigtime by them. Ive seen it brewing in my fam amd there only 12. Us millenials and gen z have a mammoth task at hand
It's unfortunate that the black community is so obsessed with interracial relationships. Most other racial/ethnic groups are not that obsessed. Sad. I mean name another racial/ethnic group that spends so much energy discussing this issue? Crazy.
I agree with a lot you said I can only speak on my own experiences regardless of my culture and colour. I do want to first mention something that doesn’t get mentioned very much which is colourism within the black community I have always liked black women I have had black women tell me I’m to dark or it’s I’m to light bare in mind I’m a fair skinned black man, now this didn’t make me hate black women but the disconnect has been from black women then it’s been from me I feel. Most of my interactions has been with non black women why I’m not really sure but I can say why it’s like that now partly because I live In Cornwall have for 8yrs and Cornwall is 90% white side note I don’t get airplay from the white women in Cornwall so in my case it’s just a disconnect with women in general regardless of colour and I have been put aside by so many black women back in the day just because of the shade of my skin so that has contributed to me more distant I guess I think a lot of men are like that the interest is there but some things have been happening and for way to long and it’s had an effect. I think mostly non black women females in general are more and more distant overall and me just being less likely to approach women in general, for me I never think about race if I’m to approach a women. I definitely agree with socially things have changed it’s almost impossible to know if a women is interested any more I will say I think if a women does put out a little vibe that she likes you white women seem to be more upfront then black women just an observation but the interaction with men and women on a flirting level is almost dead these days don’t even get a smile or eye contact I don’t just think black men and women are not connecting as much I think men and women period are not connecting as much.
Love my black woman to the bone, but absolutely loathe weave with a passion. It's like an obsessive infectious plague. It's like what message are you really trying to send out to the world with some other cultures' body parts stuck to your head? Obviously, thinking it makes you look better, it doesn't to me and screams of low self-esteem and a list of other negatives. Ive friends who have never seen their womans natural hair, that fake fur is glued to their scalp 24/7 & it smells awful, salute to the guys who can spoon a woman and suffer that mess in their face, couldn't pay me. Traditional style melt my heart, and show a confident powerful woman who you just have to respect, you see the essence of a wife and childs mother all in one. Thanks to Willow and Halle who got sisters rocking braids again for a while, again powerful - remember black woman, your natural styles don't look good on any other ethnicity, they can't take that power.
I cannot lie, weave can be off putting. But I do think black women’s hair shouldn’t be policed (that’s a whole separate topic which I may address later). I think all black women are on a journey with their hair. Some realise they should sow into their own natural hair and some it takes longer for them to realise how exhausting and taxing it is constantly trying to cover their hair, spending so much on weave and picking new styles every 4 weeks in order to stay on the weave train. Again a separate conversation. 😅 Thanks for sharing your thoughts! ❤️😊
Loads of bw are natural and braids have been worn pre these babies Halle and Willow and will be worn long after we are dead. Some bm just have to admit that they don't like bw or like the majority of bm, they are looking for a perfect unicorn who checks a long list of demands and is a woman that a lot of other men want. The difference between bm and other men is that bm view women as a status symbol or trophy and only want that baddie/hot girl type but complain when she has the look that appeals to 99.9% of black men nowadays I.e fuller figure, busty, weave and make up. It's a loud put together look as opposed to an unassuming quiet one. BM then complain that they can't get a woman like that. Well of course not, she has all the options. South Asian men and Arab men have cultural obligations that mean they cannot marry any type of woman they please. Them aside, other races of men date within their range. They don't all date the baddie/hot girl or even go for her. Most of the time, their women are average looking unless they themselves are good looking, but I find most black men all want the best looking woman and look down their nose at dating within their range. Then they have the nerve to moan about bw not dating average men. Bw date average bm all day long and hype and gas them up to no end. It resulted in bm continually talking shhh about bw and moaning about trivial bs like hair. When bm date out, the women are more often than not average to plain and they wouldn't accept a bw who matched the looks of their preference, so there is a huge problem that bm have with bw, hair, skintone and features.
This was a good video. I think you spoke to some of the solutions without realising it. You said positive examples alongside education. We are not as educated as we think. We don't have a clear understanding of the system we exist in, nor what we need to heal from and relearn. As we develop these understandings, our thought process and perspective begins to change.
The reason why European beauty standards, are highly valued in Europe, is just that - they are Europeans. Europeans can relate to, what they have been brought up with. In African countries, African body types and features, are much preferred by the African people, than European features. This is especially so in East Asia. The young people do not like to date outside their own race, it is just human nature, one feels comfortable with what one knows.
When I use to live in the U.K, thank God I don't anymore, but I noticed that most of the black women had attitudes, or felt like they were too nice to talk to you, etc. Even when you try to say Hi to them or smile at them they would ignore or screw up their face. Now the white women were more easier to talk too and you could have laugh with so I give them more props. Black British girls are from another world sorry to say.
This seems to be a reoccurring theme. Have you considered that black women appear more hardened because society has made them that way… remember white women are privileged in ways black women arent. They’ve not faced the struggles that come with racism that black women have. So I’d expect them to be more easy going… less stressed. Just food for thought. Then there’s differences in culture and traditions. 🤷🏾♀️
@@DamiZainAlso, there is a choice to be negative or positive. I am not white, but life is not easy for white women - it is such a myth. White women also deal with body positivity issues, have cheating partners, poor education, poor career prospects, are sexually objectified by society, suffer misogyny, I could go on and on. Most women of all cultures suffer from all these things, it is not exclusively a colour thing.
Lmao! If you went to Japan what would be the beauty standard? Japanese features right? Well since England is a European Country of course they have their own beauty standards! Lol. No one is forcing you to follow it cause fact is you are different but if you lived in Japan they wouldn't change their beauty standards for other groups either.
Really good arguments. I think the stats are great! And people definitely need to understand more stats👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 I am part of the dating interracial gang. I definitely don’t hate BM but being with my guy 18 years now I don’t think I had the same issues with dating as the younger ones now. I truly wish you all well if you are searching for connections. I definitely wasn’t intentional to date a BM and I was in a lot of white spaces so I always said I can see why I fell for my guy. Yes I was approached my BM but often outside and not in work, or the places I was going at the time. Maybe they preferred the WW but maybe they also generally didn’t want to approach me, and that’s ok. I often wonder what I would be saying about this topic now if I wasn’t with him or anyone else at my age. I really don’t know. But I’m proud of my small family and for that I have no regrets. Oh yeah my parents can be very Nigerian 😂 but I admit they were not strict on the idea as they met a great man, I still have a deep connection to Nigeria and was even born there but yes some things are not so strong, which is inevitable as two cultures clash.
Stats are needed. But oftentimes ypu could make "stats" not apply to you by actively manipulating your environment. I meet the kind of women i like all the time. I see black couples all the time. The majority of black men i know are straight up simps for black women even if theyre open to a Latina or white, the black woman typically is the first choice for a relationship. But i build my environment: "People dont dance anymore" -so i just go to soca parties and afrobeats "Black somen are ghetto" - i wouldn't know, i go to afrotech meetings, kizomba/zouk/kompa dance socials, and i participate in my local afro community. "Black men dont like black women" -do you go to dedicated black spaces? How many of your closest friends are non black? "These women are entitled, and unrealistic" Where do you meet your women? Do you have a social life? Do you go out alone to explore new places? "These women only wear weave" - Try women from different cultural backgrounds. If shes fresh out the Caribbean or Latin America, (except maybe big city Jamaica or big city Trinidad), shes probably gonna prefer natural hair because weqve makes her uncomfortable.
Believe me it’s a crisis for everybody Not just black people 😂 Number 1 People over evaluate themselves in the dating market Nobody is a 10/10 & 9s Get paid to “ runway model “ / Cover the mainstream Body in the low BMI etc etc Number 2 Unreal dating expectations will keep people single for the rest of their life Men do not want to date anymore or get married We’re going to have the lowest ever marriage rates in the next 5 to 10 years Genuinely, I don’t think people understand the severity of getting older and being single Trust me, it doesn’t get any easier the older you get Number 3 Looking for all the wrong things with the wrong people A life relationship at its core Is Survival | Consistency | duty of care If you don’t understand this You’ll never spend the rest of your life with somebody For instance I’m 6’1 in great shape But I find it absolutely disgraceful how short men are treated Well it’s gonna be a lonnnnng cold alone life for “ majority “ of women Don’t you understand, you’re gonna lose your looks Wow Broke boys gon be looking s e x y at 40 years old Those Short kings gonna be looking like Giants 😂 at 40 In my culture Dem say “ those who can’t here must feel “ 🇯🇲 The funniest thing is On this planet only about 35% of men are above 6 foot tall So that means that you’re young male children are likely to be short You don’t want a short man But you’re most likely going to give birth to a short king 👑 PLEASE MAKE IT MAKE SENSE The future generation is screwed You can’t even pick your sons height Woman are way too superficial And it’s all going to catch up on you I assure you that much And honestly I can’t wait 😂 The way you’ve treated some great men that came your way No sympathy at all What a world we live in Average women Don’t want their average male counterparts Well, at least one of us are going to age like fine wine 🍷 🥛 anyone ⁉️ 🐮 Lastly Your fathers are most probably Short and bang average Their father was probably short and bang average Etc etc & on & on WHO THE HELL TOLD YOU, YOU DESERVED A 20% N**** TOO WANNTY WANNTY BUT NAA GETTY GETTY DELUSIONAL 😂 You come from bang average You deserve Bludclart bang average Trying to shop in Marks & Spencer’s 😂 But your NETTOS MADNESS !! Logic & Accountabilities like kryptonite to women 💯 What a rotten generation
An We as black men turn 35 we dont want women over the age of 25. Im 47 i prefer women 24 and younger, When i was younger i would date women my age and older. But at age 47 outside of EASY SXXX, i dont want women over 30. I get with them because they are easier to sleep with. But my future wife is gonna be around 19 or 18 years when i first start dating her..... 85% of all the women i dated were black women. i prefer black the most. But if a woman from another race approaches me first, i will not reject her.
@@genovasquez8361 bro I’m with you I’m 35 & look late 20s These younger 20-24 girls can get this 🍆 facts Woman over 30 are invisible to a man like me . I’m not slaving in the gym for old & used property I’m good Woman don’t understand there on the clock ⏰ & times aTICKING 👍🏽 All men want women in the prime 19-22 You can ask 1,000,000 men & I’LL put my house on it The clear winning age it 19-22 Woman start off with there powers Not needing to earn them WE MEN HAVE TO WORK FOR OURS WE WERE OVER LOOKED IN BEGINNING BUT THIS IS A MARATHON NOT A SPRINT CHEST NOT CHECKERS OH WOMAN ARE F U C K E D
Interesting that you speak of Africans and the Asian community are encouraged to date within their culture. The bible says we shouldn’t mix with other nations…Deuteronomy 7 v 3-4
Let’s not lie that there isn’t some truth to the stereotypes, also in the black community in the Uk there is no patriarchy, so many reasons for the interracial in Uk, 1. He ain’t rich enough, 2. He ain’t tall enough, 3. Constant rejections So they went somewhere else, 4. Would he have got the same attractive level of black women as he did with the white women?, 5. Other women gave him a chance.
@@matgamer5916 Patriarchy definitely exists in the UK - I’ve experienced sexism off the back of it first hand and you’ll find a lot of other women have too.
No patriarchy. There's a patriarchy in the UK but it's white not black because black men don't own or run anything. Black men here can't even compete with the lowest of the low white men. That's the problem, not black women.
@@DamiZainYes there is every sort of ‘ism’, in every country, but Britain is one of the most tolerant countries in the world. There is no industry, where people of all genders, races or cultures have not succeeded. People are given free education, healthcare and in some cases free money. If you want to succeed in Britain - work hard. We have had 3 female Prime Ministers, 1 Asian PM and possibly next time around, if Kemi is successful ,1 black female PM.
To be honest Africans mostly date within their own people meaning other people from their country as you being black doesn't matter because you being black and African isn't enough as culture is more important. Only the young British who don't aline themselves with there African culture will go outside of their country people but if they had more options from their own people they would probably choice them over any other African people because it's less complicated to raise a family with one cultural background and/or religion. Almost all black men prefer black women but seen as we are in England their are more non African people to choice from than our own or other Africans so it makes this easier to initiate a relationship but if it works out is a different story. Race isn't as important as ethnicity as one holds more weight seen as race is just about physical characteristic like skin colours and facial features.
I enjoyed this video, however I must say It is slightly biased, you've approached it solely from the point of a view of a self victimized black women regurgitating online generic talking points. You've chose to vilify black men while empathizing with black women dating choices. You've justified the self hating Divestor movement by saying it's due to them being recently disenfranchised, however your own stats don't back this up because as far as Africans go, as of 2011 both African men and women were dating outside their race at an equal level, this is 13 years ago so how can u possibly say it is a recent thing? where is the explanation for this. You've also provided no explanation as to why black women from both Caribbean and African communities date outside their race, yet you've chose to psychoanalyze the men's choice by hinting that it's a product of self hate in the Caribbean case and claiming that in the case of Africans the only reason they don't date outside of their race is due to fear of backlash from their parents. You have glossed over the key things the stats present which is that black women date outside their race way more than they receive criticism for and that we need to really make a cultural distinction between African men and Caribbean men cos we aren't homogeneous and these generalizations are getting jarring.
To add to this, I do believe that some men, mostly Caribbean men to an extent associate whiteness to purity and the media does as well. Which is why for the longest time it was rare to see a black couple in TV adverts, two dark skin people in a tv advert. at best the woman was light skin, but it was typically interracial. the same applies to film and music
@@Emc2kyThis is a Northern European country - hence mostly white population. Adverts are aimed at selling to the majority population - hence white actors. How many European, or black actors, are in East or Southern Asian adverts. In most African countries, especially ‘Nollywood’, how many European or Asian actors are in adverts. If you look at these things, with a common sense point of view, the reasons are usually quite straightforward. If one looks for offence in something quite innocent, it can be twisted into whatever the person wants it to be.
@@moo2351 you missed my point, advertisers go out of their way to not have a black couple. It is typically a black man with a white woman, or a black man with a mixed race woman. Marketing teams are afraid of having a black dark skin couple on screen as they are concerned it will offend the racist contingent of the public, of which there are many
I literally pointed out the stats for black women dating too. And I spoke about the challenges for men AND women within our community - pointing out that I’ve covered some challenges at a high level and there’s so many more things to be said which can be discussed at a later time. The main section truly related to black women only was the dating bias part as studies have supported that black women get the short stick. Other than that, negative stereotypes, systematic racism, cultural differences etc affect both black men and black womens choices. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! 😊
@MAD_DOGZ_TV Fairs. No singular person can speak for their whole demographic anyway. Hence why I opened up the discussion in the comments. Look forward to seeing your reaction video.
Stereotypes about black women exist for good reasons and there's no point in blaming the media or society when it can be seen in person by most pple. No matter what side of the pond or what part of the world they live or originate from.
My love, in 2021, there were 21.5 million black women in the United States alone that does not even cover 10% of the TOTAL population of black people in the world and you suggest that 2 are the same?? Nobody on this planet is a monolith and the perpetual issue is people like you that form baseless and superficial generalisations surrounding a broad range of people. Culture, regional factors, varying historical backgrounds, varying socio-economic backgrounds and even media exposure all play a pivotal part in the composition of an individual, their constructs and subsequently what becomes their experience.
My opinion is in the UK you either get 30% of black women who think they’re super nice!!! because they’re above average pretty, have lighter skin and have slightly straighter hair and then flip reverse you have about 60% who don’t put the same work in like their white counterparts and so for some aren’t as attractive …. Eg when you go to the gym or see women running on the roads.. how many black women vs white women do you really see?? Although you have always seen for decades us black men putting the exercise and looking after our body’s vs other nationalities… that’s just one observation/ example… the average black man won’t go 2 weeks without a fresh trim… can that be said about the average black women generally speaking… again just an observation… don’t get me wrong I love my black women and I date both black and white women but us black men do share these struggles plus others.
As a Black woman that works out, I can tell you that looking for a man who is fit and healthy is just as hard as finding a woman that’s the same. Issues of health seem to be even across genders. Not saying all my friends workout but I also lower my requirements for men I date….
@@Jammin1288 I appreciate your response and I will say that black girls are working out more now than before but surely you’ve got to admit that black men dominate the gym (with the M25 atleast and city locations) vs black womens on the female side… now the element of “fit” is a another point/discussion because a lot of black guys go to gym for muscle definition and body sculpture.
@@kxander8108 men in general dominate the gym which has more to do with society's view of the ideal male body etc. That part is not a race thing. Many women acheive their ideal body in other spaces or by dieting alone. My point is that once I leave the gym I encounter more out of shape men than fit men. I think BW and BM are not taking care of themselves at similar rates.
This was a VERY good video….. I will say my preference is to date only black women which seemed easier a few tears back. I find that in the present on both sides of the spectrum both bm and bw often allow social stereotypes of the opposite sex to suppress their willingness and ability to date
vice versa, black men don't realise you guys can be scary too. Try starting a polite conversation. I rarely have a black man greet me in public unless he's old.
Heres the thing i will say making this hard to analyse. The black immigrant population in the uk as in not 3rd gen windrush descended or British born Africans is less than africans who have come here as teens and adults who are absorbed in the british black population soon as they have papers. This is significant because Mr Z who left congo at 18 and his partner who left there or elsewhere as a teen or an adult though will tick off they are black british on applications they may likely stay socially secluded in their sub black African community in a way that if you're a british born African interacting more widely normally with british Jamaicans heavily and others as YOUR norm you wouldn't fully detect. I think this is a big piece of this thats overlooked. Black british BORN more are more IR focused while black British men who werent socialised like us as came here as teens and adults are NOT and i think they account for more of the black British men population ratio than us. I could be way off
There's thousands of short Black males in the UK. Instead of chatting bollocks online, why don't British BW like London, go and date these short Black men then? I will wait.
BW here. 1: stop saying BM don’t find you attractive as though they are a prize. Are you walking around being rejected? Stop! 2: BW and WW don’t date or attract the same type of BM. I have rarely seen a BM with a WW I would give the time of day. Different mentality 3: BW stop saying you only date BM as if it’s a flex, you look dumb. The whole world the birds and the bees understand the lack of respect and value he places on you. 3: broaden your horizons and be open to different types of men for crying out load. 4: Stop blaming the WM for inferiority complex that BM have. Stop blaming them for the fact they place no value on you 5: BM are not out here with mixed race women either they are with WW for the most part. Mixed race women are out here just like BW 6: BW do NOT care who BM date it’s the level they are prepared to sink to in order to date WW. The lack of self respect is disturbing. 7: Why do BW not suffer from loving the image of BM if it’s the media to blame? 8: why do BW understand you never go over to other races and place yourself and your people firmly beneath their feet. ONLY BM do this!
According to the figures in this video African British Men and African women are in interracial rates at the same rate. So clearly black women are doing the same. This idea that black men prefer other races and don’t value bw yet black women only stick to white men is an exaggeration at least a complete lie at most
Hi I have only gone 5m-42sec into this and I think you are already straying onto the wrong track - I would love to discuss this with you and lay out my experience in dating - or more accurately, trying to date British Black Women - how do I contact you directly?
First time viewer here. I like you Dami but I think that you might be a bit naive as to the self perception of most “Average-looking” women. Most of them think they deserve a top 2% of men, lol
Thanks for watching! 😊 Not once did I mention “average-looking” women. 🫣 But, I do regard myself as an “average-looking” woman and I certainly know my limit when it comes to what my spec can be. But then I’m realistic. I feel both men and women have unrealistic preferences when it comes to what they desire in a partner. I also think a lot of people struggle to be honest with themselves about their own flaws… 😅
I think BW are beautiful worldwide but its just the attitude and the arrogant personality for me most wont speak unless they find you attractive l still would rather be with a BW but its hard to find fthem here in America . I was thinking about going to the the UK to get a BW but a lot of UK BM say the UK BW are ratchet like the American ones l was shock because l all ways thought UK BW are nice the UK BW l meet where really nice.
@@DamiZainThe reason these 20-25% supposed ‘males’ probably divest because they don’t feel like men; they’ve been emasculated by ⚪️ society& their systems so subconsciously they think that they can’t handle a ⚫️ woman because they can’t military protect their women & children. If you don’t see ⚫️ woman as something you can protect won’t see her as female or you will feel inadequate as a supposed ‘male’ & its sad because our mothers don’t raise us to be militant or protective because they don’t want us to die in battle
You missed one of the important points, it is financially draining to date black women, especially African black women. They expect you to pay for everything and take care of them.
That’s a cultural thing. In Africa, the men are taught that they must provide for their women. Africans subscribe to gender roles a lot more - it’s literally ingrained in the fabric of our cultures (especially Nigerians 😂). So if you’re dating an African who was raised traditionally, it’s more likely the African men already know his role is to provide and the African woman expects him to.
alot of black women would love to date a white man or outside of their race but alot of men of other races have low interest in black women in comparisson to interest in women of other races. But that is changing as the dating market get harder alot of men of other races will begin to go to the easy option; and men of other races know that black women are often their easiet option, due to high interest that black women have in dating outside of their race and having a mixed child.
There's no online bias....they just don't want you. Stop with the excuses and take some accountability. All the dating apps studies show bw are the least responded to. The bw isn't a desired woman....accept and make the changes
@@DamiZain And there are also studies showing the bw is: The least married (to any race) The least swiped on The highest single mother rate The highest std rate It's quite sad how bw have destroyed the black family structure and leave their children no legacy. So laugh now....but those who laugh first laugh last. You pushed your good men to the side for the worst black men and that is something you have to live with....Good luck 👍🏾😉
@@DamiZain your too close to the camera if there was more space between you and the camera it wouldn't be so noticeable, being so close becomes a distraction
date who you fall in love with you should not see race if you are in love with someone people go to Chester UK night club on a Saturday night it is called Rosie's night club every one dates interracial on a Saturday night that's what they go there for
The black population of the U.K. is about 5% or even less, and most of them are concentrated in London. When I lived in London, I had no problem attracting black women.
Living outside London now, finding a young black woman who’s single, is like finding a needle in a haystack. The fact is also prefer black women with natural hair, makes it harder. Given the choice, I prefer black women, especially one who’s more culturally aligned with me and can cook my Nigerian dishes but as they say, sometimes the desirable isn’t available. In the meantime, I’m stuck playing around with the Becky’s but when I’m ready, I will move to places where I can find a long term relationship with a black Nigerian woman
You can def find a nigerian women here in coventry a big comunity here
Leave the UK and go to Nigeria or some place in Africa to find your bride. Or, go to Canada or the US. But, if you are a Naija man and want more of a traditional Naija woman, your best bet may be Nigeria. Just be intentional even if it means going to a matchmaker when you are ready to marry.
Leeds, Manchester, Birmingham- Big Nigerian communities. You can def find a Nigeruan woman that wants you. Or a woman from the Caribbean that wants you!
I saw a report from the uk about a year ago that said the biracial birth rate has surpassed the black birth rate .
Ohhh which report was that. Would love to check that out! There’s also a lot of children born outside of relationships and marriages these days too!
not surprised. in 50 years no trace of black people once lived in that country only archives videos will show that like the current black and white video from the 1930
Fair enough, but then the birth rate in general is declining in the West mostly. So the black birth rate in African countries may even this out if most people with black dna are mixed in uk’s future.
@@DamiZain Have a look at the 2001 census - it reveals that as far back as 24 years ago, babies with two black parents were being outnumbered by babies with a white British mother and a black British father of Caribbean descent. The actress Angela Griffin claimed in a documentary that mixed race people (half black - half white) are the largest non-white ethnic minority in the UK. Good video btw.
Sorry for the long comment- One of my family members studied about the Caribbean and Slavery in the UK, she taught me a lot about this. Caribbean men, like many individuals, may date outside their race for a variety of reasons, some of which can be traced back to historical factors. The transatlantic slave trade had a profound impact on Caribbean (descent) families, leading to the separation of families, trauma, mixing families to produce offsprings, the disruption of cultural practices, the exploitation of women and children, and the formation of surrogate families. The legacy of slavery also included the loss of identity and heritage, and long after emancipation, Caribbean societies continued to face economic hardship, racial inequalities, and disrupted family structures.
European colonial powers imposed Eurocentric beauty standards for thousand of years, which may have influenced how some people, including Caribbean men, perceive attractiveness. Caribbean men who have moved to or grown up in the UK, where these standards are still prevalent, might have been exposed to such influences in their dating choices. Additionally, during the colonial period, many Caribbean people were taught that England was the "motherland," a belief particularly common among the older generation and reinforced during the Windrush era and now wealth and better lifestyle, black Caribbean units had so many challenges in housing, jobs, education and society.
For decades, Caribbean immigrants and their descendants have been integrating into British society. The Windrush generation, arriving post-World War II, experienced significant cultural and social shifts, including challenges related to race and identity. In Western societies, media has played a powerful role in shaping perceptions of beauty, relationships, and success, which may have also influenced dating patterns.
The UK Caribbean community was smaller compared to other ethnic groups, which could reduce opportunities for dating within the community, leading some Caribbean men to form relationships with people from other racial backgrounds. Immigration laws during the 1950s to 1970s were often restrictive toward black immigrants, particularly the Windrush generation, and there was a notable effort to limit black migration. During this period, black Caribbean children in the UK often faced discrimination in education, with some being unjustly placed in special schools based on biased assumptions of their intelligence.
Being in an interracial relationship, particularly with a white person, might have been seen as a way to navigate some of these challenges during the 1950s to 1970s. However, interracial relationships also came with their own social stigmas and complexities, reflecting the racial tensions of that era. Africans have had a long presence in the UK, dating back centuries.After the abolition of slavery in 1833, all enslaved people in British territories, including the UK, were legally freed. While there was encouragement for some freed black people to resettle in Sierra Leone, this was a voluntary initiative, not a mass deportation. Sierra Leone was originally established as a settlement for freed slaves, particularly those from the Americas and the Caribbean, including black Loyalists and Maroons. Although some Caribbean and British-born black people did move to Sierra Leone, it wasn’t a widespread relocation. Meanwhile, British ships actively patrolled the West African coast to suppress the Atlantic slave trade, freeing captives from intercepted slave ships.
During World War I and II, both Caribbean and African men played important roles in supporting the British military. However, despite their contributions, they often faced racial discrimination when they returned to the UK.
After World War II, the British government invited Caribbean people to help rebuild the country, leading to the Windrush generation in the late 1940s through the 1960s. During this time, there was a larger wave of Caribbean migration compared to African migration. It wasn’t until the 1990s and 2000s that African immigration to the UK increased significantly, with people arriving from countries like Nigeria, Ghana, and Somalia.
While there were also large migrations of Indians to the UK, especially after the partition of India and the expulsion of Asians from East Africa, the Caribbean community was more prominent in the post-war period up until the 1960s. The UK's immigration laws, particularly in the 1950s-1970s, were often restrictive toward black caribbean immigrants who had their children and wives or husband back at home (families were large about 5 or 12)- huge reason why immigration law is part of our lives today, and racial discrimination was widespread, affecting the Caribbean community and others. Interracial relationships at the time came with challenges, but many Caribbean and African people continued to make significant contributions to British society.
So black men like white women because of slavery and 'racism'?
Got it 👍🏻🤦🏻♂️😅
Thanks for the contribution of explaining the history. I'm an American Freedman. A Black descendant of US slavery. I find it interesting that in a few generations that Caribbean men in the UK are almost at a majority when it comes to marrying out. However, the Black men in the USA are still hovering at 25 percent for out marriage. In the USA, the statisticians don't break up Black men into ethnic groups like in the UK. Essentially, it's Black men who are the descendants of US slavery aka American Freedmen, and then the Caribbean, South American, and African men who qualify as being "Black/African American" racially. So, we all get thrown together in one category based on race vs. ethnicity. That being said, I don't know which ethnic group of Black men have the highest out marriage rate here in the USA. However, Black men here have a higher rate of out marriage compared to Black women. But, as a category, it is a comparable rate to the African men in the UK. Meaning around 75 plus percent of Black men here marry Black women. I am shocked that our number of men marrying out is so low compared to Caribbean men who have been on the mainland UK for a shorter period of time. Also, when they do marry out, it's a lesser percentage of Yt women. A lot of 🖤 men here are moving past them because of the "Karen" reputation Yt women have earned in the USA and the high profile divorces of 🖤 men from their Yt wives that were "nasty". Their flavor now is ethnic women of color from different countries and mixed raced women. Most of them still marrying 🖤 women. I wonder why that is. I think in the USA, it may go either up or down because the racial tensions are at an all time high here, and immigrant relations are going down hill, but then you have more people accepting of interracial unions and interesting unions more now than in the past.
A lot of black men do correlate whiteness with status and success. I had my friend’s cousin who was trying to speak to me at an event later tell me that he would like to settle down with a white girl because they would be able to help his business succeed. This is the same man that came with his long hand and wanted me to buy things from the shop for him. He then attempted to speak to a white girl he spotted who had no interest in him. I genuinely hope he found his white woman and his business is doing well.
I don’t know why this story made me giggle! Maybe it was the “long hand” part that got me! I wish him all the best too! 😂
@@DamiZain 😂😂😂You got a new subscriber…keep up the good work ❤️❤️❤️
@@Uniquely_L1 Thank you! ❤️
That KG is a bounty
lol that's not a a guarantee that his business will succeed unless she has connections
Black women cannot compete with other women in the dating game in diverse societies. Its as simple as that.
Just like BM can not compete in a diverse space because they are at the bottom of the totem pole all over the world.
I think that the conversation of black men dating white women isn't the main issue in these newer trending stories anymore. There's a lot of black men that date black women but what do these black women usually look like? They are normally either mixed race or racially ambiguous (because a slight tan these days can qualify as black online). The ones that do date darker-skinned black women normally prefer the straight or loose curled wigs on them. The ones that say they prefer natural, they don't mean anything that's 4b or below (unless they are the very few 'earthy' type guys), they're talking goddess braids or the locs on a 90s Lisa Bonet. There needs to be a distinction because this is where darker-skinned black women are ignored or gas-lit.
We need to talk about some black men and women that have internalised racism/colourism/texturism and this reflects in the way they physically present themselves and their dating 'preferences'. We need to discuss the black men & women that were bullied by their families, friends and school mates for their skin tone and/or hair type. They grow up and only want to date people that look nothing like them and can have children who won't have to go through that type of discrimination. I think they think that by doing so, they are able to tell their kids that they're beautiful and actually mean it, sadly because of their own deep-rooted insecurities.
A lot of people are not going to admit to this self hate, which is why they will get really defensive when their 'preference' is questioned. I also think that the black men who take part in mocking or degrading black women don't understand that it comes from their internalised hate. Anyone who loves and respects themselves would not find any of that funny, they would be highly offended by even the thought of it, let alone saying it out loud in a microphone.
Lastly, a lot of them haven't been seriously checked by their peers (fellow black men) for these views frequently enough, which is why they can sit on global platforms and not think twice about mocking and disrespecting black women. It is mainly black women who always have to do the outcrying and dragging of these ignorant men. The genuine concern and disrespect is unfortunately not taken seriously enough or downplayed because of the stereotypes of always being angry and aggressive.
Good points, yet you forget to hold black women accountable in their desire for men to have waves, is that not texturism?
@@Emc2ky I did mention both genders when I said 'We need to talk about some black men and women that have internalised racism/colourism/texturism and this reflects in the way they physically present themselves and their dating 'preferences'. I would have developed on this point even further but I felt like I was already making it too long lol, so thanks for adding this point.
Aren’t more and more black women preferring men with locs now? It’s a whole thing here in the UK these days…
Man this comment right here and I'm a black man I rate this comment highly this has been exactly on my mind for months 💯🙏🏾🇯🇲🔥
@@stowaway8521 I completely agree with all that you’ve said in this comment! Spot on! ❤️
Majority of people date someone from a similar background. Interracial relationships are still a very small minority.
These inferiority complex, self hating KGs in the UK
do not want to hear thar truth
This woman been capping the whole video to validate her own trauma. No serious sources cited at all, just self validating nonsense lol
Hmmmmm, are you sure
Interracial marriage rate has surpassed the black marriage rate .
This is not true for much of the UK Caribbean community. Mainly black man/white woman
I am a 3rd generation Caribbean woman who is a professional and comes from a Christian background. Both parents and grandparents are married and stayed married. I wanted marriage and a happily ever after. I found men in my community didn't want this and would prefer to just have relationships and children outside of wedlock. They sometimes have wider issues and come from difficult backgrounds. They also like the concept of 50 50 and some even use you when they know you have a good career. So I went were I was appreciated. My now husband courted me, asked my dad for my hand in marriage and married me. He is a doctor, no children for anyone else and no issues. He adores me and our children. He saw me as a wife not a baby mother and ensured we only had children after we got married. He provides for me and our children and is happy for me to stay home We live a good life. My husband happens to be white English. Ladies go where you are loved and adored. Don't put up with struggle love, ghetto romance and settle for these men who just want sex and to have children for everyone and anyone.
I completely agree with you! Go where the love and respect is - regardless of race
Great content and commentary, Dami,. Keep up the good work x
That’s nonsense 😂 please just cause you couldn’t find a good bm doesn’t mean there aren’t sounds ike a you problem.
The Irony 🤔
👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
Average guys are invisible to women. 80% of us are average Black men that date Black women, but 80% of are not athletes, entertainers, 6 figure earners.
But “average” girls also feel black men don’t want them…
@@DamiZain But how many "average" girls think they are above average. I've never met a woman that doesn't think she's a 10. She could be overweight with bad hygiene. And she's turning down men because they are under 6 foot.
Some women. Likely not the worst filter to have, these types of girls are usually very susceptible to peer pressure. its often not about what they even want, but what they think will improve their status among peers. A strong woman who can advocate for herself won't have this issue and will just date who she wants.
I think you’ve bought into the stereotypes online will feed you. There are plenty of girls out there who would be happy with an “average” man or whatever that is.
@@DamiZain Oh for sure. I'm not an incel doomer. I meet women on a day to day. that are tapped into reality, but even in those cases. there is a touch entitlement that's very off putting. And sadly this climate makes things harder for the average guy to make connections. I nearly got kicked out of a bar for offering to pay for 2 ladies drinks. The climate is difficult, and entitled and defensive attitudes make it worse. I'm not trying to blame women, just offering a broader perspective.
It’s not just black women black men in general are being carful if you choose wrong you lose everything, no marriage no children.
I agree.
Or you gain a child and end up without a partner.
Then you have Black folks who are obsessed
with White jesus and Arab mohamed, but hate their Black culture.
Cultured Black folks do not want to raise the next generation
of Black kids to worship white jesus and Arab mohamad.
So, they rather search and search for partners
who align with their train of thoughts.
In truth, relationships is hard these days.
A lot of folks are in unhappy marriage and union
But are trapped by fear of being homeless
or unable to pay the mortgage.
Thank you, Dámi, for your video and for sharing the statistics and your perspective. I, too, am tired of hearing the perpetuated narrative that Black British men are not interested in Black British women. As a British-born Ivorian, I am very much attracted to black women, and they are my preference. Of course, there are black men who have internalised racism and don't appreciate black women, and I'm not here to dismiss anyone's experience. However, this behaviour is not exclusive to black men; there are black women who have internalised racism too.
Here's my personal take: black people who prefer to date interracially often say they've had negative experiences while dating other black people, which is valid, but I think this is more of a justification. My previous relationship with my ex, a black woman, left me heartbroken, but it was important to see her as an individual and not project my experience with her onto all black women, which I think is an important distinction.
I'm not against interracial dating, but I dislike it when people do so while putting black people down.
Yes because you’re African you like black but if you were Caribbean you would only like white
Wonderfully said
@@tevbuff I love this comment. ❤️❤️❤️
You can’t be British born and Ivorian at the same time .
The problem is that most black women just settle .! I am happily married in an interracial relationship.! Never sacrifice your happiness to please others….
Everyone settles, because settling is an idea of thinking you’re better than what wants you 😂
Men settle all the all the time, ain't none of us getting Attractive young Virgins especially from BW in 2024.
I guess you're right, it wouldn't be settling if you were looking for someone none black, eg: your preference.. being with someone that looks like you is not settling.😢
The level of ignorance and self hate in your comment is pungent. It is women like you who seek proximity to whiteness and will contort your self-worth just to be close enough and be able smell the flatulence of the colonizers.
Or because you worship your counterpart.
As a black British Caribbean woman I disagree that it’s because we see it in the media. My opinion is based on my experience. Born in the 80s so social media was not a thing when I was dating or at school. Black men never liked me or found me attractive, I’m not overweight and I don’t have a tree growing out my head (as my mum would say!) lol. I wouldn’t even say I was a stereotypical black woman, not that that should be an issue, but I was shy and quiet. So I like others chose to go where I was appreciated. Also I did not have any stupid unrealistic expectations. I was just looking for a guy with a job, who was taller than me! I was not able find a black Caribbean guy that was actually attracted to me, never mind on my level. When I say my level, it’s nothing crazy. I just mean decent job, went to uni, had a good education, and financially educated.
The online dating bias towards black women is due to black men’s preferences, the websites try to match you to what you tell them you like. You make it sound like they are just prioritising white women, but that isn’t the case.
I like your cup half full attitude but those are still high percentages of people dating outside their race. I would like to see this compared to Indian, Chinese and other ethnicities then you will see the issue more clearly.
I also think there is a difference between the reasoning of why black men and black women date outside their race. I think most black women would prefer to date within there race but feel like they have to go to other races to be appreciated. With black men more of them prefer to date outside their race based on looks, some are just not attracted to black women.
I think it’s is really sad.
That's interesting. I'm younger than you(in my 20s) and I'm an african british raised and I've never really had problems attracting black and mixed carribean men and people seem to think I'm carribean.
So when I heard black women complain about black men not wanting to date them, I could never understand.
@@Lalaland099 I share the same experience as you - only men tend to guess right that I’m Nigerian. I’m in my 30s and I’ve never had issues attracting both British Caribbean and British African men.
As ever everyone has their unique experience and the stats show it’s pretty mixed. It doesn’t tip all to one side and further more a significant number of Black British people are in relationships with each other according to the last official recorded data. The 2018 Official National Statistics (ONS) says 33% of British Black men were in interracial relationships. It’s a mixed bag but one narrative keeps being shared online.
@@nicolaw2930 Thanks for sharing your experience hun 😊
@@DamiZain See, exactly. I don't like how they keep this one narrative.
The stats say otherwise. If 20% of British African men are in interracial relationship that means 80% aren’t. So no, more of them don’t prefer.
The online dating preferences take into account men of ALL races, so if you believe it’s because black men don’t prefer black women that really men’s men in general don’t.
As for other races? White men date out as much if not more than black men, Asian women date out significantly more than their male counterparts too.
You articulated this topic to perfection. Exactly how me and my sisters discuss this around our round table. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
One thing that needs to be addressed is the cultural differences. A lot of ppl date interracially cos they have gripes with their home culture, especially if their home culture is hyper traditional and is heavy on gender roles. As a black community we are still very stuck on gender roles and want to use patriarchal norms to our convenience. We can see this in the 50/50 topic the whole divine masc and divine fem movement. In the UK, a lot of immigrants hold this old school mentality and those who dont align with the old school mentality will likely find a british person who leans more egalitarian. In short, LET GO OF THE OLD DAYS and adapt the times, many black people are stuck in the past and see it as some ultimate utopia.
Good discussion - would be interesting to see the stats for other races on the screen too, just to compare if people from other races vary their choices as much.
@@zorydirwai8661 True! It would have been good to see how we compare compared to other races!!!
I'm a black Caribbean man recently married to a black Caribbean woman.
I feel as though a lot of young people online, especially black women and men, instead of doing the necessary reflective/reflexive work, maybe seeking support from mental health professionals, working on themselves, travelling and exploring new things tend to go online to hear what they want to hear. After experiencing heartbreak. Its an inevitable part of growing up imo, but im happy looking back that i experienced it now because i never would have met my wife. Not saying ive been perfect... ive messed up myself... but experiences are meant to be learnt from.
The black 'relationship influencers' who will go on about how "black women aint £%=/" or "black men ain't s=/÷".... the whole never ending ratio debate (e.g. 50/50, 40/60, 80/20, etc...)... a load of people in a never ending process of licking each others wounds, never reaching the stage of being truly healed and ready to date again. That benefits all these social media influencers too because once they cannot benefit from the insecurity of others they cannot easily profit. I hate all these influencers.
What i will say about my own experience as a black man outside of London (in the midlands) is that the London dating scene is truly depressing. The pool of mentally stable and pleasant men and women seems very low. I moved to London in the past and my experience of the city wasn't great at all. The culture of the city just doesnt contribute to an environment that facilitates dating. My experience of Londoners (black women in the city) were overinflated egos, rudeness, low confidence and unrealistic exoectations when it comes to men. Theres just something about London that makes a lot of people unpleasant. Im not saying all Londoners are, but the worst experiences ive had in terms of dating have been there.
I would never move back to London. Moved back up north, met the woman who is now my wife and ive never been so happy. So many black men and women in London ive talked to when i talk about looking outside the city, respond to me like "are you mad?"
Also my experience with African women hasnt been great. Definitely the pressure to conform and abandon my traditions and embrace theirs instead of us embracing both sides and bringing both families together. I cant deal with the Caribbean bashing. The min i hear that its a huge turn off.
You’re very rare and unique to be a black Caribbean man being married to a black Caribbean woman
Just out of curiosity, as a Black Caribbean woman, is your wife dark or light skin?
I can echo your London dating experience, horrible!! the rude & poorly educated is what I was faced with, all my past dating experiences were with Black Women in Jamaica, it's so apparent that Black Women in London are very different...... its inexplicable!!
@@advocateproductions656 The dating pool when it comes to black women in London imo doesnt seem great. London is full of women that look so beautiful. Some stunning women in London. The downfall is the bad attitude, entitlement, rudeness, the lack of humility, lack of respect for a mans time (being late for dates and not giving AF). When you come from somewhere else the feistiness of London women is just confusing and makes you just want to move in the other direction.
Looks aren't everything and London learns you that. Its a truly depressing mostly superficial city where you need to put on a front, not smile, not appear too open and not appear to be weak.
Aggressive is a label that is stuck to black women and that is a stereotype, but what isn't is the aggressive London culture that black men and women are often forced to conform to and when I'm with a black woman from London giving me cr%£ and I think "why so aggressive" there's understandable backlash. They ain't understand it ain't like this in other places.
Londoners might come at me and argue that it's just a different culture and you just don't get it. The large number of lonely black men and women in the city however just signals that very culture (the aggressive, competitive culture) isn't healthy when it comes to dating.
@@simonebell928 it's not as rare as you think.
In terms of interracial relationships, the black African community are together, marrying and having children together etc, Caribbean British people don’t date each other, black Caribbeans are always in interracial relationships, mainly black Caribbean men with white women and black Caribbean women date African men or date non black
Most Caribbean women are not dating non black or even African. Most still desire Caribbean men, but have come to realise that most Caribbean men don't value marriage or fidelity. So reluctantly a few will date non black. However, most Caribbean women I know will not date African men cause they have their ISH too, plus the added challenge of Africans feeling they are superior to Caribbeans.
@@Coco-uk9tv in the UK many Caribbean women do date black African men I know so many. I feel you are angry at Africans lol
@@Coco-uk9tvAfrican BRITISH men don’t take issue with carribeans- we live and grow up in the same communities. Besides, how will whites not have a superior complex to the carribeans they once colonised?
@@realnewsnews9786I could be wrong and if so, it must be young millennials then. Definitely not Gen X or young Gen Z. PS not angry at Africans at all, just speaking what I experience and hear.
@@civildiscourse7626 It's obvious some whites will have a superior complex to blacks. However, you don't expect that from people of the same hue.
Nice job Dami!! We need to stay with each other in a pan - African way!
I think ALOT of the issue also includes the success of these relationships, issues with infidelity and feeling like a back up plan which doesn't necessarily get represented by stats because someone could even be married and not really value Black women but still be with them which is another reason why people would take that perspective.
I think alot of the thoughts and feelings are not just quantitative but also qualitative and lived experience stuff.
But I do believe that yeah we should look at this holistically. It would be cool to look at all the arguments and look into them alot more 😌 teehee. Thanks for the video.
I completely agree with you! In my first video on this topic, I left the stats out because I do feel they can sometimes misrepresent what’s truly happening. But as I mentioned in the video, I got comments about how lived experiences wasn’t enough. Some even said lived experiences were invalid without the stats. So I thought ok, let’s see the stats people so badly want me to refer to. 😂
I think the issue is people always assume the worst and depending on their individual narrative can sometimes see either side (interracial dating or dating black) as a potential negative or the problem with dating today. When really finding love (no matter who it’s from) is a positive. And the reason why the dating pool is so shit is beyond the race we choose to date. There are challenges on both sides of the coin.
Thanks for watching and sharing your opinion ❤️
Nice video. Well balanced and informative. Thank you. The negativity and hatred against Black women that I've seen on social media from Black men, has most likely forever made me unattracted to Black men. Racism prevents me from wanting to date any other race, so I'm focused on being my best self. I have enough to keep me busy and happy. I've been engaged twice and decided not to go through with it. I'm good. The pickings are too slim and rotten nowadays.
I completely relate to you here! Only I’ve met some amazing men in real life so I’m not completely unattracted to them.
I’ve witnessed some horrid interracial relationships and I’ve also experienced terrible black relationships. I don’t think the grass is greener on any side. Men will be men and each has its challenges.
I think finding the right partner is a lot more complex than just race.
Thanks for watching and commenting too ❤️
Not balanced at all. Balance involves, questioning, quoting reputable sources, books, studies and philosophies. a lot of what was said in this video was taken from TikTok, instagram and quick google search. I don’t see the balance when the video is 99% unchallenged thoughts.
Wat racism fking soft man its ridiculous
@@alvinabbam1333 I took the stats from the Census - the official Gov website not Google. Resources are in the caption. I also opened the comments up for discussion and challenge of my opinions. Why don’t you provide further resource to add to the discussion? 😊
And the black men who see negative energy from black women will say exactly the same…
My friend who is a white Greek girl has the same problem, she says most Greek men prefer English girls because of their blonde hair and pale skin, and Italian men prefer blonde pale English girls then Mediterranean girls, I think overall the white pale woman is every man’s preference and the further you get away from that the least desired you are, I personally don’t think the white Aryan look is not that appealing but men are obsessed with white skin, they would rather a plain not so attractive girl then a prettier girl with a darker shade as long as she is white, this goes for all races of men
I admit, I prefer pale women. I'm Welsh, so everyone I grew up with was pale. Not blonde though. Very few blonde people in Wales when I was growing up.
Northern Italians are blond hair blue eyed
Or could it be that they're just easier to get along with? Hmm.
Not true 😂 I prefer dark skinned women honestly I don’t think pale skin women are even attractive I’ll be honest.
The irony is that most women of whatever colour, get their blonde hair from a bottle - always makes me giggle.
I am a French Carribean and I grew up in a city with a large black community i.e. Carribean and African. In primary school, I saw African women litterally fighting with men. I got into arguments with Carribean women all the time as they would take the p*ss and be disrespectful. I really don't know where this attitude comes from but it wasn't appreciated at all by the black men around me, and myself. Carribean women from Guadeloupe and Martinique were relatively successful with black men if they were the quiet ones. However African women were really struggling to find men. During my teenage years, the prize for black men was to get an Asian/Vietnamese woman. As there is a large vietnamese community in France, there were opportunities and they would go for vietnamese women over a black or a white woman. Personnaly, I only date cool women, if the attitude or manners are bad, I walk away and this is not negotiable. I dated all type of women, I really don't discriminate but from my experience, Asian women were extremely agreable.
@@Pamanudavy-qz1vx This is interesting! Thanks for sharing your experience! 😊
'aggreeable' = slave-like
Martinique(and Gwada too) has the most beautiful women in the entire west indies. I went one time and I wanted to cry 😂. Even when they speak patois to you, (the Martiniquans would call it kreyol) when they speak it to you it's soooo beautiful and soft. And their sweet accent is intoxicating hahaha.
I really hope the stress and strife with the Lavi Che gets fixed in Martinique. I hate to see the french come and harass my lovely Black people. One love from Grenada ❤️💛💚
What I find across the board is the many date outside their race, because of better opportunities. I have noticed that most interracial relationships are based on getting a better foothold in society or it's a sexual fetish. Social media does play a big roll in dating, it almost seems like dating has become more aristocratic. Black men wants to date black women, dating in your society makes you feel in some why connected. You know exactly what to expect when you date within the community.
As a black American i can agree with this i divested back in 2005 by 2008 i had a baby but i can say the looks i use to get from other blacks here in america was crazy now in 2024 im dating a Nigerian man
People are always so quick to point fingers to interracial relationships as the reason the black community isn't doing good. And it's so easy to claim that these men hate themselves. I just think nobody seems to want to acknowledge there might actually be valid reasons some men seek women outside their communities. Particularly men with demanding careers or men who have money. Nobody wants to do the hard work and look in the mirror. The unfortunate reality is some aspects of our culture we have created that make it difficult for prosperous relationships to flourish. Both of our masculine and feminine energies are unbalanced and wounded. While nobody is perfect, I think sometimes people outside of our community are more easy to get along with. Hate me if you want but its a valid question. Cause we make things very hard for ourselves compared to say, the Sikh community or the Indian community, who find their partner and call it a day.
True. I am a black woman and I am in a successful interracial relationship (getting married in 3 weeks). I had dated black men before my fiance. However, if I really only wanted or could only date inside my race/ethnic group, I would simply find a man who's values I was aligned with and just get on his program. It would be that simple.
I agree in part. I also think both interracial and intra-racial relationships have their challenges. For some interracial relationships, you might have to teach your partner about the black woman experience as it’s unlikely they’ll understand it or see our point of view. Especially if you’re dating a well off white man. The privilege they experience makes it hard for them to empathise with our experience. Add in potential racism and it can be draining. Likewise in intra-racial relationships black women may have to teach their black partners about misogyny and how the intersection of racism and sexism can affect us.
I don’t think the grass is greener on any side. I think women should pick a man based on his individual mindset and character and not his race. Go where you are loved and respected by the individual you’re looking to date.
Thanks for watching and commenting too ❤️
Congratulations on the engagement hun!!! ❤️❤️❤️
@@MsLotusBlooms You're right, it would be that simple - but life isn't simple neither are relationships. What people want in a partner is more than just a skin colour and a value system, it's a package of personality, looks, values, weight, height, sex appeal etc etc maybe some men just can't find the package they want in one race so opt to find it in another - similarly I can recognise why a lot of black women are dating outside of their race now, they're probably finding the package they want more often in other men. At the end of the day as long as people are doing what makes them happy I don't mind. I just find the bitter back and forth black men and black women have sometimes exhausting and the most unattractive thing in the world. I just want a person who makes my life easier and I look for that in a woman as do many men. If you come with a ton of baggage and insecurities you're not for me,
I found the end of this comment interesting because other communities stick with their chosen partner, but it is not always the fairytale. The difference is that there is a lot of pressure to save face in the community. Things go wrong, everybody knows about your business, all the Aunties talking about you, it even gets back to family back home… so the pressure of the potential shame of failure makes you reside in a marriage that may have lots of ups and downs, abuse, betrayal etc., that you are unhappy with. You stick with it because the alternative is unpalatable, and you must have thick skin to leave the marriage. In some regions of the African diaspora, it is still like this. I'm not saying reputational shame is a reason to stay in a bad relationship; I just think it should be highlighted why some communities have partnerships that look, outwardly, like they have longevity. Admittedly people will find balance and work through their issues also. This should also be recognised.
Being honestly after reading a lot of the comments 😂 I can tell a lot of bm & bw are hurt instead of healing from past traumas “ow I need to divest the white men or women this” it’s really boring 🥱. I feel like it’s more of a personal issue and stop acting like bm and women are your problem cause they aren’t it’s you. I said my piece 😂 great video though ❤
I've lived in the UK for over 20 years and from my experience living in two cities including London, here's what I’ve observed-I'm not exaggerating.
African men who have recently arrived fresh out of the country typically within the last five years, often stay with women from their own communities. I’ve rarely come across black men born in the UK who show interest in or date black women, unless they live in London.
You made a significant point towards the ending about how black people from different cultures perceive each other, often due to a lack of empathy.
Whenever I see a black woman in an interracial relationship, it often seems she's dating outside her race because she feels more valued elsewhere, as her own men may not appreciate her features. At the end of the day women, especially, need to go where they feel desired and valued.
I just want to point out that African men who have immigrated aren’t part of these stats as they are not a British National - they aren’t “British Black”. But I do agree British Black people in London tend to date each other more because London is more populated with black people and is much more diverse than the rural areas.
Same for men too when they go out of their own community to date non black women too.
I lived in London for over a decade. London bp always try to say they are outliers, but lots of London bm date out or date mixed women. True, Africans are a little different, but at this point in history, they are still not very British. Most have strong connections to their homelands and probably visit often or moreso than Caribs who are now 3rd or 4th gen. Then African people who are from places like Nigeria have tribal ties or Africans just have ties to their home country and have been raised to view that as paramount in choosing a partner. Africans who are newer to this country as a whole cannot be compared to Caribs who have been here for generations, lost ties to their culture and heritage that would see them stay in group. I think it will also change for Africans here a lot as time goes on and more mixing with people from different backgrounds in the UK happens. London isn't some magical place where the bp are more pro black than those of us who live elsewhere.
While BM are more likely to be in a IR relationship, BW actually prefer WM, according to studies(Book: The Dating Divide).
This may be the result of the constant societal denigration that black women have faced within the dating pool, (An okaycupid survey recorded that most men on the site rated black women as the least attractive) , hence why there has been a visible rise in black women exploring the ideas of dating outside of their race or I should say cultural background.
Unfortunately, the constructs surrounding the paramountcy of whiteness is something that some black men knowingly or subconsciously subscribe to and so in order to secure their spot in the perceivable yet inconspicuous societal hierarchy, they denounce blackness. This is obviously the few who see no virtues in being black except the fact that they are constantly displayed as a commodity - through being "genetically gifted", - without being explicit you can gather what I'm hinting at. As well as a biological upperhand athletically, though these are less to do with race and all to do with genetics, genetics are fickle in nature. These are just stereotypes.
However, due to homogenous reasons, black women and black men, as well as their racial counterparts are most likely to date within similar ethnic backgrounds due to common exposure and familiarity. In other words, because it's the safest option.
@@catherine6771you provided an excuse as to bw prefer wm… yet if bm prefer other races there’s 0 justifiable reasons 😂
@@catherine6771 Well parts of that Study go back over 20 years, so BW have had a WM preference for as long as we can remember.. Even in the 60's BW/WM Marriages outnumbered BM/WW marriages 60/40 post Loving case Decision..
Also it couldn't be due to denigration, because no one has been more denigrating to BW than WM.. That's basically saying BM shaming BW for Twerking on a Restaurant Table is more denigrating than the KKK..
The other part of that Study shows BM Prefer BW and WW are their least desired mate.. The difference is this Study was done by 3 PHD Sociologists including a BW, the other was OK Cupid.
What backs this Study is the amount of Million Subscriber Swirl Channels compared to BM, matter of Fact BW are the only group that has big swirl channels
@@civildiscourse7626 I in no way implied that black men can not date outside of their race. Love is love and it does not see boundaries especially with respect to race. In fact I explicitly referred to the black men who see no value in blackness so they deter from it. Black women do too, bleaching is a common expression of this.
This conversation is about the tropes and struggles surrounding the dating pool and the clichés that influence it. People can date who they want to date as long as there are 0 negative connotations behind whoever they subsequently pick.
We were referring to black women who commonly date within their own ethnic background because of homogeneity but are now exploring other options that defy their previous reservations, especially because black women according to statistics are seen as being at the bottom of the dating pool.
@@civildiscourse7626 Actually no. In the same study (done by 3 PHD Sociologists including a BW). It shows BM see BW as their most desired mate, & WW are their least desired mate.. It's an almost 20 years study
I'm a Caribbean black man and I've never had a good relationship with a Caribbean black woman and African black woman am I experienced there's too much negativity and selfishness and disrespect it will be nice to have something good with somebody within my race but at age I'm at now I don't think that's ever going to happen and I'm not even going to try
I know numerous Caribbean women in the UK who think the same way, and a number who have divested from black people, especially black men completely.
Your standard are low and maybe you attract these types of women
Black women from the UK are adored in the US. Many Black women from the UK are finding their (Black) husbands outside of the UK.
May take a flight… 😂😅
@@tamsparris-bah8283 Are black men from the UK adored in the US??
Misogyny is literally the reason why the dating scene is terrible
Oh I 100% agree!!! I want to cover this in a separate video (I’m just preparing myself for the hate I’m going to get from the men in return 😩🫣)
I don’t think you understand what misogyny means, but I give you the benefit of the doubt. Dare to elaborate?
Genuinely, you believe all the problems that exist in the dating scene rest solely on men ? I sometimes struggle to believe people can have such myopic viewpoints. Like it begs the question of how intelligent you are.
@@KingdomofKinship women are capable of internalised misogyny btw.
@@DamiZain you’re not wrong at all. I simply think it’s beyond stupid to assume all the problems that exist in the dating scene are due to misogyny. Like you could name any number of things: the inability of modern men and women to reconcile their gender roles, the increasing alienating nature of society, high cost of living in late stage capitalism etc etc but just saying “ITS MISOGYNY” just makes you seem kind of dull tbh
the fetishisation is so real. My friend went home with a white girl one night and when we met up the next day, he described the encounter as her trying to act out an interracial porn scene while they were having sex. She was saying things like “f***me with that big black c***!” He realised afterwards that she had a lot of pictures of (he assumed) was her and her white bf around her room. He didn’t stay over but it was the most clear cut example of someone living out a fantasy we'd ever come across.
This happened early in our twenties (a decade ago) and usually the immaturity of us would mean we'd “celebrate” going home with a girl but with that experience even we were like🤨
You’re right about social media. Negative stereotypes generate the most views and if you watch a few videos it’s scary how quickly your feed becomes taken over with similar content. Even I found myself having brief thoughts of how bad black men and women are despite me being mixed and raised by a black mother.
Most black men have been in this situation we dont talk about it enough but when it happened to me i swore off to IR. Theres white folks literally using us as walking dildos.
Lmao, vs how many blacks just have kids everywhere with each other with no marriage or commitment. Right
Where can i find a Becky or Snow Bunny like her, OMG she sounds hot.
@@Crukren89Many black men fetishise white women equally.
@@Crukren89 What gave it away? when they ask you at 12:30a.m. 'wanna go home with me?' lol is that when you finally got it? or when they text you at 3a.m 'hey where are you?'
I can only speak for myself but my parents didn't teach me NOTHING! now I know EVERYTHING and how humans work. I prefer to be on my own, peace and tranquility.
Hey huns! Thanks for tuning in! I hope you enjoy the conversation. Do share your opinions and experiences (if you feel comfortable to of course). Would love to hear from you!🤎
Black men love having light skin daughters. You can see the male celebrities .
Black people as a whole have been conditioned to believe that close proximity to whiteness is success or is more likely to give you access to white privilege.
Wrong. You know who have been the nicest to me as a Black man? Non-Black women. When I was broke they were nice to me. When I was taking the bus on my way to school or coming home from work they were nice to me. For some reason you folks always ignore that before celebrities were famous and athletes were known by all, they were normal people. And I can guess who were not nice to them?
People tend to settle down with people who were nice to them. I could be wrong, but that is what happened in my case.
@@gorillabang79very true
@@gorillabang79 they’ll gaslight you but you’re not wrong. Log in to social media now and all you see is black women calling regular hard working 9-5 men dusties and broke. Now you can try and deny it all you like but that impacts a persons self esteem, especially young men who are born into a system they had no part in creating. Why wouldn’t they seek people who affirm them and treat them nicely ?
@@DamiZainhahahahahahaha
As a Nigerian British man we like are black women. can we be excluded from all these black man bashing videos. Thank you
@@ghostinashell3116 😂 As a Nigerian British woman, I know a lot of you like black women. I also hope you don’t assume this video is “bashing black men”. Thanks for commenting 😊
Why as a Nigerian man do you think Nigerian men are special? I see lots of Nigerian men with white women and/or bashing bw. Im tired of Nigerian men acting like they don't engage in behaviors they criticise Caribbean men for. I see foolishness on both sides.
@@Toastfacekillah87 I didn’t know Nigerian men set themselves apart from Caribbean men? I thought it as more African vs Caribbean (well more so in the older generation) Is this still a thing?
@@ghostinashell3116 it's why I can't deal with Nigerians sometimes. Love y'all and I love how y'all are proud of your culture, but you don't need to bash other cultures and people. Look in the mirror before you criticise Caribbeans and think "we don't do that here". I'm proud of my Jamaica roots.
@@DamiZain It's definitely African vs Caribbean, but I find that Nigerians are way more guilty of the Caribbean bashing.
The problem, or part of it is that young black people in England these days are dating like the Oyinbo do.
There are more nuances that we need to navigate. Is the partner Westernised or traditional. How do they want to raise children. How much are they immersed in culture. Are they liberal or Conservative. Sickle Cell. Are they religious, spiritual or indifferent. Are they materialistic or not. Attitude to legacy, generational wealth etc. We cant just date anyhow...for many, the choice of partner is beyond beauty. It's about generational blessings and breaking generational curses.
Date and do what you want. People’s opinions don’t pay your bills.
Facts
Me personally I'm a white guy I think interacial relationships are the most natural thing iin the world there's nothing at all wrong with it feels so natural and good 😊
Well articulated analysis @Dami
I think there are deliberate efforts to scuttle blacks union. Africans need to be conscious of these. Even some Caribbeans despise continental Africans for dating/marriage complaining they are being too traditional and vice versa.
Also, infidelity and betrayal is a big issue within black communities. It happens within other races but ours is just disheartening.
Of course there’re success stories but the unsuccessful rate is alarming. Most black women expectations are way too overboard .
The dating pool is getting a lot hostile for blacks, especially new immigrants without a big purse, high class jobs, and jolly accents 😁.
The narratives must change otherwise ‘we’re in soup’
Hmm some interesting perspectives here.
I think we’re more attuned to the unsuccessful relationships in the black community because we don’t have as much access to the lives of other races to see that they experience it just as much as we do. Infidelity too.
Thanks for watching and sharing your opinions 😊
@@DamiZainI live in a predominantly white area and have white friends and associates in both my personal and professional life. It may be a class thing, but from what I've observed is that they value fidelity and family and that the welfare of the children comes first even if the relationship breaks down. On second thoughts, it may not even be class, because I know many working class white couples that are the same. I think black people generally do not communicate openly and transparently, so a lot of things go unsaid which leads to resentment. Lots of PA behaviour and hiding. An unwillingness to show vulnerability and to put egos aside.
Keep your struggle love. I'm done with the trauma but if you want to enjoy yours feel free.
@@db6881 Do not despair (Na who give up, fuck up)
The Statistics seem to be reflective of the online noise, I think those rates are much higher than what currently happens in the USA. It means than 1 out 2 Caribbean men and 1 in 4 African men, that is very high. It would be nice if you could do some further analysis how it compares to other races or ethnicities in the UK, also can the age demographic be broken down, is it that high for the Caribbean men because its reflective of marriages from the Windrush era and for the African it would be nice to know what age demographic is moving towards interracial relationship for all we know the percentage might be much higher for younger African men, maybe the 75% is just couple's who immigrated from Africa together, I think that's worth another video. Well Done Dami
I agree in part but I want to point out that immigrants are not “British Black” as they are not Nationals. So aren’t included in Black British stats here. But I definitely agree the immigrants tend to stick to their own and younger Black Brits also date interracially more (both men and women).
Thanks for watching and commenting! 😊
Yes, It's much higher in the UK than the US
48-60% of Caribbean men dating out is a big statistic. If you explore the trends between other ethnic minorities this is unusual. The biggest issue is that successful black women are finding it hard to find a man who is at least their equal financially as these men are more likely to date out.
@@Arian-vf6jo I agree with you on the financial part (that’s been my struggle personally). 48-60% (in 2011) is high but then 40-50% British Caribbean men dating black is also a significant amount. And then in 2018 the stats also said 33% of Black British men were in interracial relationships… suggesting 67% of them were dating black. Which is also high! It’s a shame we don’t have more recent stats to go off. But we should look at it holistically.
Thanks for watching and commenting! 😊
@DamiZain It's encouraging to see that the statistics are improving.
@@DamiZainIt's not that simple. The Caribbean men who do date black mostly, most not all, are not marrying, so the rate of fatherless Caribbean households is high, which has led to the lack of socioeconomic progress of Caribbeans in the UK. The majority of Caribbean men who date black have multiple children by different women and they rarely live with one woman in one household raising child/ren together as a unit. Infidelity is rife and is normalised in Caribbean culture. The most likely outcome when dating Caribbean men is that he will make you a baby mother before making you his wife, even if you are wife material. Caveat, I said most, which means I know there are a few exceptions.
@@Coco-uk9tv It’s definitely not that simple! I haven’t even begun to go into marriage and why it’s on the decline. There’s so much more to discuss on this topic for sure! ❤️
@@DamiZain I would ask then that when you tackle this topic, you look at Caribbeans as distinct from Africans, because the cultures and traditions are distinct. There are also distinctions between countries in Africa, as well as countries in the Caribbean. However, I understand the simplicity of generalising. Also there are huge populations of black people outside of London, for example Birmingham, Manchester, Bristol, Leeds, Liverpool, Reading, Sheffield etc, I could go on. People tend to think everything outside of London is just bare country side, but other conurbations exist too.
My successful black friends who also attended private schools are married to non-black women, mostly Polish, Turkish, English, and Japanese women. Their reasons are as followed, they claim black women they've met seem very agressive, masculine, argumentative, not traditional and having mental health issues due to being fatherless. I see plenty of high earning black men marrying non black women, but I'm not seeing a lot of high earning white men marrying black women. This is an interesting topic.
So interesting that a small proportion of the black community can have such rigid and monolithic views surrounding a population of people that make up the 7.8 billion of black people in the world. Stereotypes are incredibly stifling.
@catherine6771 bw just needs to do what's best for them at and stop seeking validation and answers from bm. These are the type of comments they come up with that reveal a lot of self hatred and serious hatred of bw.
There are certain types of people who fetishise blackness and want to date black men. Women with more sense choose someone, because of more than just their skin colour.
I love you for this perspective 🫶
Thank you 😊
Those successful relationships are everywhere, but not on social media. Really social media, online dating, etc... is not an accurate cross section of society at all. Tons of people have jobs where they not even really able to use social media so easily. Particularly in defence, pharma, fiancial services.... All the main infustries in the UK. Another thing would be good to see is 'black success' which isn't from sports, entertainment, or criminality.
You spot on with the being pitted against eachother comment. Divide and conquer tactics getting increasingly blatent across society these days.
Check out the marriage statistics perhaps and see what they add more colour or not.
I completely agree with your comment here! I’ll definitely take a closer look at UK marriage stats too…
Thanks for watching and commenting ❤️
@@DamiZain much love . Got to say there is something about the way you covering these topics which makes it particularly compelling to comment/discuss. I never had any inclination to share anything online before. Never thought it might be on a topic such as this one! Keep it up! 💪
omo Oduduwa @@DamiZain
I do get very pissed off, when Black folks talk of
needing to see successfully married couples on TV,
to build their confidence.
What a load of dodo.
Listen, l see married, professional Black folks every day, in the BBC
Since my birth in the manor. These are regular Black folks, who are
the pillar of the BBC
The problem we have today is, this Internet generation of BB kids,
are the worst generation ever.
They think the Internet is real life.
Their idea of a successful Black persons is a thicko online influencerr,
footballers, mumble rappers, IG models or worst, road manz.
I am tire of the utter bollocks drivel online talk.
Comedian London wanted to drum up support
for her career in Amerikkk, so she put out that bogus generalisations claim that all Black men in the UK, do not want to date BW.
Then, she claim that one Black man, she dated, ask her to put her wig on, during intercourse. I guess, she had a knack for bounty type BM.
One last point, do the BBC in the UK and the FBA in the USA,
not understand that, this gender war between BM and BW
and the Disporal wars beefs, are all a divide and conquer plan
by WS anti-Black racists, to sow discord among Black folks????????
African and Asian students rated higher than white British students. This is because of their culture of ambition, coupled with strict parenting.
You are so on point 👏👏
My preference is Black women, especially the darker ones
I do think that because black people are at the bottom of the economic ladder the negative externalities of crony capitalism shows its extremeties in our group because of this fact. I also think the voice of black social dynamics has been hijacked mainly by western viewpoints and mainly individuals who are in a way trauma dumping at a fact. In the current economic conditions we are put against each other even more so with social media on top to project unrealistic expectations on both fronts. Also the use of data can be quite misleading yours was quite balanced in my viewpoint but data collection and analysis in social sciences are quite flawed because a lot of people were just not trained in statistics properly I am saying this as a mathematician.
I do think also our culture has promoted quite negative things as the popular and cool thing. I think we have made hood culture and criminal elements a huge part of what is cool especially when we are young and against high educaitonal achievement or being normal. This has had crippling consequences in the black male population and additionally some of the dating preferences of black women at a young age. I have seen anecdotaly the black men who did not ascribe to these sub cultures were rejected by black women and men and hence relegated to interracial choices in university. The same thing happens to black women .
I will say in terms of the interracial dating this is where I see a huge problem there is a obsession with white interracial dating in particular 1 and 2 there is a generalization of whites as superiror to blacks from both the men and women. This opens up black people to predators with The women are oversexualizing black men as you said and actually treating them in some ways as pets and the white men are using black women to act out their sexual exotic fantasies as well. The dangers too is these individuals will come at you from a point of finding your blackness attractive but a wolf in sheeps clothing. I remember this white guy tell me he finds black women easy practice sexually and there seems to be a idea in white guys heads that black women worship them and they are easy prey so to speak. On the white woman side I have seen similar sentiments and as someone who has a preference for black women the online echo chamber in lue with personal experience has been quite offputting.
I do not have anything against dating out but generalizing a race based on anecdotal experience is not only putting us against each other and saying white >black and opening us up to be furtherly stereotyped and racialized. I had horrible anecdotal experiences with dating black people but it was not because black people were bad I just happen to have got with the wrong people at the time and now I am happily engaged. I do find that black men are more at fault in this regard and this opens more complexities you have the black men who had a lot of options in the black community and those who didnt. However generalizating based on anedotal experience is for you therapist and not for social media. We need to have compassion for each other and foster better discussion. Also we need to put more positive role models in our media, our current media leaders are quite negative moving forward.
I completely agree with your thoughts here! Thank you! 😊
It is also a global situation where western youngsters, of all colours, are not brought up with religious values. They lust after the exterior rather than value, what is inside.
This is shown in the success between the British black community and the African community. Africa and Asian children, out do British white and black children in exam results, it is their strict culture, that keeps them on the straight and narrow and probably a religious background.
These discussions about relationships sound like USA rhetoric.
Yeah they do. They keep trying to push this agenda that all black women are struggling when it's not true.
Both countries are westernised and glamorise dysfunctional behaviour so they're not too different imo
@@Crukren89 I hear that however instead of UK replicating the BS why not have wider solution focused discussions.
@@LELE2113-c8q solutions for the black dating landscape?? Im gonna be real and say there aint no going back from here. The damage has been done. Its the youngers we need to get at because negative black connotations are being glamorised bigtime by them. Ive seen it brewing in my fam amd there only 12. Us millenials and gen z have a mammoth task at hand
It's unfortunate that the black community is so obsessed with interracial relationships. Most other racial/ethnic groups are not that obsessed. Sad. I mean name another racial/ethnic group that spends so much energy discussing this issue? Crazy.
You make a good point actually.
Most other ethnic groups tend not to marry out, so obviously it's not going to be discussed as much or at all.
40 percent is high another 10 percent that half
40 to 60 and that not a lot?
@@ns-wg4vz That's a lot
I agree with a lot you said I can only speak on my own experiences regardless of my culture and colour. I do want to first mention something that doesn’t get mentioned very much which is colourism within the black community I have always liked black women I have had black women tell me I’m to dark or it’s I’m to light bare in mind I’m a fair skinned black man, now this didn’t make me hate black women but the disconnect has been from black women then it’s been from me I feel. Most of my interactions has been with non black women why I’m not really sure but I can say why it’s like that now partly because I live In Cornwall have for 8yrs and Cornwall is 90% white side note I don’t get airplay from the white women in Cornwall so in my case it’s just a disconnect with women in general regardless of colour and I have been put aside by so many black women back in the day just because of the shade of my skin so that has contributed to me more distant I guess I think a lot of men are like that the interest is there but some things have been happening and for way to long and it’s had
an effect. I think mostly non black women females in general are more and more distant overall and me just being less likely to approach women in general, for me I never think about race if I’m to approach a women. I definitely agree with socially things have changed it’s almost impossible to know if a women is interested any more I will say I think if a women does put out a little vibe that she likes you white women seem to be more upfront then black women just an observation but the interaction with men and women on a flirting level is almost dead these days don’t even get a smile or eye contact I don’t just think black men and women are not connecting as much I think men and women period are not connecting as much.
Love my black woman to the bone, but absolutely loathe weave with a passion. It's like an obsessive infectious plague. It's like what message are you really trying to send out to the world with some other cultures' body parts stuck to your head? Obviously, thinking it makes you look better, it doesn't to me and screams of low self-esteem and a list of other negatives. Ive friends who have never seen their womans natural hair, that fake fur is glued to their scalp 24/7 & it smells awful, salute to the guys who can spoon a woman and suffer that mess in their face, couldn't pay me. Traditional style melt my heart, and show a confident powerful woman who you just have to respect, you see the essence of a wife and childs mother all in one. Thanks to Willow and Halle who got sisters rocking braids again for a while, again powerful - remember black woman, your natural styles don't look good on any other ethnicity, they can't take that power.
I cannot lie, weave can be off putting. But I do think black women’s hair shouldn’t be policed (that’s a whole separate topic which I may address later). I think all black women are on a journey with their hair. Some realise they should sow into their own natural hair and some it takes longer for them to realise how exhausting and taxing it is constantly trying to cover their hair, spending so much on weave and picking new styles every 4 weeks in order to stay on the weave train. Again a separate conversation. 😅
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! ❤️😊
Loads of bw are natural and braids have been worn pre these babies Halle and Willow and will be worn long after we are dead. Some bm just have to admit that they don't like bw or like the majority of bm, they are looking for a perfect unicorn who checks a long list of demands and is a woman that a lot of other men want. The difference between bm and other men is that bm view women as a status symbol or trophy and only want that baddie/hot girl type but complain when she has the look that appeals to 99.9% of black men nowadays I.e fuller figure, busty, weave and make up. It's a loud put together look as opposed to an unassuming quiet one. BM then complain that they can't get a woman like that. Well of course not, she has all the options. South Asian men and Arab men have cultural obligations that mean they cannot marry any type of woman they please. Them aside, other races of men date within their range. They don't all date the baddie/hot girl or even go for her. Most of the time, their women are average looking unless they themselves are good looking, but I find most black men all want the best looking woman and look down their nose at dating within their range. Then they have the nerve to moan about bw not dating average men. Bw date average bm all day long and hype and gas them up to no end. It resulted in bm continually talking shhh about bw and moaning about trivial bs like hair. When bm date out, the women are more often than not average to plain and they wouldn't accept a bw who matched the looks of their preference, so there is a huge problem that bm have with bw, hair, skintone and features.
This was a good video. I think you spoke to some of the solutions without realising it. You said positive examples alongside education. We are not as educated as we think. We don't have a clear understanding of the system we exist in, nor what we need to heal from and relearn. As we develop these understandings, our thought process and perspective begins to change.
The reason why European beauty standards, are highly valued in Europe, is just that - they are Europeans. Europeans can relate to, what they have been brought up with. In African countries, African body types and features, are much preferred by the African people, than European features.
This is especially so in East Asia. The young people do not like to date outside their own race, it is just human nature, one feels comfortable with what one knows.
When I use to live in the U.K, thank God I don't anymore, but I noticed that most of the black women had attitudes, or felt like they were too nice to talk to you, etc. Even when you try to say Hi to them or smile at them they would ignore or screw up their face. Now the white women were more easier to talk too and you could have laugh with so I give them more props. Black British girls are from another world sorry to say.
This seems to be a reoccurring theme.
Have you considered that black women appear more hardened because society has made them that way… remember white women are privileged in ways black women arent. They’ve not faced the struggles that come with racism that black women have. So I’d expect them to be more easy going… less stressed. Just food for thought.
Then there’s differences in culture and traditions. 🤷🏾♀️
@@DamiZainAlso, there is a choice to be negative or positive.
I am not white, but life is not easy for white women - it is such a myth.
White women also deal with body positivity issues, have cheating partners, poor education, poor career prospects, are sexually objectified by society, suffer misogyny, I could go on and on. Most women of all cultures suffer from all these things, it is not exclusively a colour thing.
You lived across the entire UK and met all bw. Interesting 🤔
Lmao! If you went to Japan what would be the beauty standard? Japanese features right? Well since England is a European Country of course they have their own beauty standards! Lol. No one is forcing you to follow it cause fact is you are different but if you lived in Japan they wouldn't change their beauty standards for other groups either.
You make a good point!
Really good arguments. I think the stats are great! And people definitely need to understand more stats👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 I am part of the dating interracial gang. I definitely don’t hate BM but being with my guy 18 years now I don’t think I had the same issues with dating as the younger ones now. I truly wish you all well if you are searching for connections. I definitely wasn’t intentional to date a BM and I was in a lot of white spaces so I always said I can see why I fell for my guy. Yes I was approached my BM but often outside and not in work, or the places I was going at the time. Maybe they preferred the WW but maybe they also generally didn’t want to approach me, and that’s ok.
I often wonder what I would be saying about this topic now if I wasn’t with him or anyone else at my age. I really don’t know. But I’m proud of my small family and for that I have no regrets.
Oh yeah my parents can be very Nigerian 😂 but I admit they were not strict on the idea as they met a great man, I still have a deep connection to Nigeria and was even born there but yes some things are not so strong, which is inevitable as two cultures clash.
Good discussion,
I like u your smart.
Stats are needed. But oftentimes ypu could make "stats" not apply to you by actively manipulating your environment. I meet the kind of women i like all the time. I see black couples all the time. The majority of black men i know are straight up simps for black women even if theyre open to a Latina or white, the black woman typically is the first choice for a relationship. But i build my environment:
"People dont dance anymore"
-so i just go to soca parties and afrobeats
"Black somen are ghetto"
- i wouldn't know, i go to afrotech meetings, kizomba/zouk/kompa dance socials, and i participate in my local afro community.
"Black men dont like black women"
-do you go to dedicated black spaces? How many of your closest friends are non black?
"These women are entitled, and unrealistic"
Where do you meet your women? Do you have a social life? Do you go out alone to explore new places?
"These women only wear weave"
- Try women from different cultural backgrounds. If shes fresh out the Caribbean or Latin America, (except maybe big city Jamaica or big city Trinidad), shes probably gonna prefer natural hair because weqve makes her uncomfortable.
Believe me it’s a crisis for everybody
Not just black people 😂
Number 1
People over evaluate themselves in the dating market
Nobody is a 10/10
& 9s Get paid to “ runway model “ / Cover the mainstream
Body in the low BMI etc etc
Number 2
Unreal dating expectations will keep people single for the rest of their life
Men do not want to date anymore or get married
We’re going to have the lowest ever marriage rates in the next 5 to 10 years
Genuinely, I don’t think people understand the severity of getting older and being single
Trust me, it doesn’t get any easier the older you get
Number 3
Looking for all the wrong things with the wrong people
A life relationship at its core
Is Survival | Consistency | duty of care
If you don’t understand this
You’ll never spend the rest of your life with somebody
For instance
I’m 6’1 in great shape
But I find it absolutely disgraceful how short men are treated
Well it’s gonna be a lonnnnng cold alone life for “ majority “ of women
Don’t you understand, you’re gonna lose your looks
Wow
Broke boys gon be looking s e x y at 40 years old
Those Short kings gonna be looking like Giants 😂 at 40
In my culture
Dem say “ those who can’t here must feel “ 🇯🇲
The funniest thing is
On this planet only about 35% of men are above 6 foot tall
So that means that you’re young male children are likely to be short
You don’t want a short man
But you’re most likely going to give birth to a short king 👑
PLEASE MAKE IT MAKE SENSE
The future generation is screwed
You can’t even pick your sons height
Woman are way too superficial
And it’s all going to catch up on you
I assure you that much
And honestly I can’t wait 😂
The way you’ve treated some great men that came your way
No sympathy at all
What a world we live in
Average women
Don’t want their average male counterparts
Well, at least one of us are going to age like fine wine
🍷
🥛 anyone ⁉️
🐮
Lastly
Your fathers are most probably Short and bang average
Their father was probably short and bang average
Etc etc & on & on
WHO THE HELL TOLD YOU, YOU DESERVED A 20% N****
TOO WANNTY WANNTY BUT NAA GETTY GETTY
DELUSIONAL 😂
You come from bang average
You deserve Bludclart bang average
Trying to shop in Marks & Spencer’s 😂
But your NETTOS
MADNESS !!
Logic & Accountabilities like kryptonite to women 💯
What a rotten generation
@@ProfessorJay-sc6vd it’s definitely a crisis for everyone. And both men and women are choosing not to marry or have children - for differing reasons.
@@DamiZain good luck to you then mi dear
Because
Each woman & man fi dem
selves 💅🏽
An We as black men turn 35 we dont want women over the age of 25. Im 47 i prefer women 24 and younger,
When i was younger i would date women my age and older. But at age 47 outside of EASY SXXX, i dont want women over 30.
I get with them because they are easier to sleep with.
But my future wife is gonna be around 19 or 18 years when i first start dating her.....
85% of all the women i dated were black women. i prefer black the most. But if a woman from another race approaches me first, i will not reject her.
@@genovasquez8361 bro I’m with you
I’m 35 & look late 20s
These younger 20-24 girls can get this 🍆 facts
Woman over 30 are invisible to a man like me
.
I’m not slaving in the gym for old & used property
I’m good
Woman don’t understand there on the clock ⏰
& times aTICKING 👍🏽
All men want women in the prime
19-22
You can ask 1,000,000 men & I’LL put my house on it
The clear winning age it 19-22
Woman start off with there powers
Not needing to earn them
WE MEN HAVE TO WORK FOR OURS
WE WERE OVER LOOKED IN BEGINNING
BUT THIS IS A MARATHON NOT A SPRINT
CHEST NOT CHECKERS
OH WOMAN ARE F U C K E D
@@genovasquez8361 If you're so perfect why you single at 47???
This is a global international problem
I heard it's growing in America.
@@equinox95 man I miss the 80s life was better back then
😂 it’s really not don’t let social media fill you even in Amerasian it’s not a big thing maybe in certain states other than that no.
@@Chaz15 well marriage is declining, only time can tell
Interesting that you speak of Africans and the Asian community are encouraged to date within their culture. The bible says we shouldn’t mix with other nations…Deuteronomy 7 v 3-4
Let’s not lie that there isn’t some truth to the stereotypes, also in the black community in the Uk there is no patriarchy, so many reasons for the interracial in Uk, 1. He ain’t rich enough, 2. He ain’t tall enough, 3. Constant rejections
So they went somewhere else, 4. Would he have got the same attractive level of black women as he did with the white women?, 5. Other women gave him a chance.
@@matgamer5916 Patriarchy definitely exists in the UK - I’ve experienced sexism off the back of it first hand and you’ll find a lot of other women have too.
Thank u thsts how i feel u barely can get a chance with ur own ppl dese days
@@DamiZain yeah it probably does, but in the black community in the Uk it’s not the same that’s all am saying
No patriarchy. There's a patriarchy in the UK but it's white not black because black men don't own or run anything. Black men here can't even compete with the lowest of the low white men. That's the problem, not black women.
@@DamiZainYes there is every sort of ‘ism’, in every country, but Britain is one of the most tolerant countries in the world. There is no industry, where people of all genders, races or cultures have not succeeded.
People are given free education, healthcare and in some cases free money. If you want to succeed in Britain - work hard.
We have had 3 female Prime Ministers, 1 Asian PM and possibly next time around, if Kemi is successful ,1 black female PM.
To be honest Africans mostly date within their own people meaning other people from their country as you being black doesn't matter because you being black and African isn't enough as culture is more important. Only the young British who don't aline themselves with there African culture will go outside of their country people but if they had more options from their own people they would probably choice them over any other African people because it's less complicated to raise a family with one cultural background and/or religion. Almost all black men prefer black women but seen as we are in England their are more non African people to choice from than our own or other Africans so it makes this easier to initiate a relationship but if it works out is a different story. Race isn't as important as ethnicity as one holds more weight seen as race is just about physical characteristic like skin colours and facial features.
I enjoyed this video, however I must say It is slightly biased, you've approached it solely from the point of a view of a self victimized black women regurgitating online generic talking points.
You've chose to vilify black men while empathizing with black women dating choices. You've justified the self hating Divestor movement by saying it's due to them being recently disenfranchised, however your own stats don't back this up because as far as Africans go, as of 2011 both African men and women were dating outside their race at an equal level, this is 13 years ago so how can u possibly say it is a recent thing? where is the explanation for this. You've also provided no explanation as to why black women from both Caribbean and African communities date outside their race, yet you've chose to psychoanalyze the men's choice by hinting that it's a product of self hate in the Caribbean case and claiming that in the case of Africans the only reason they don't date outside of their race is due to fear of backlash from their parents.
You have glossed over the key things the stats present which is that black women date outside their race way more than they receive criticism for and that we need to really make a cultural distinction between African men and Caribbean men cos we aren't homogeneous and these generalizations are getting jarring.
To add to this, I do believe that some men, mostly Caribbean men to an extent associate whiteness to purity and the media does as well. Which is why for the longest time it was rare to see a black couple in TV adverts, two dark skin people in a tv advert. at best the woman was light skin, but it was typically interracial. the same applies to film and music
@@Emc2kyThis is a Northern European country - hence mostly white population. Adverts are aimed at selling to the majority population - hence white actors.
How many European, or black actors, are in East or Southern Asian adverts. In most African countries, especially ‘Nollywood’, how many European or Asian actors are in adverts.
If you look at these things, with a common sense point of view, the reasons are usually quite straightforward. If one looks for offence in something quite innocent, it can be twisted into whatever the person wants it to be.
@@moo2351 you missed my point, advertisers go out of their way to not have a black couple. It is typically a black man with a white woman, or a black man with a mixed race woman. Marketing teams are afraid of having a black dark skin couple on screen as they are concerned it will offend the racist contingent of the public, of which there are many
I literally pointed out the stats for black women dating too. And I spoke about the challenges for men AND women within our community - pointing out that I’ve covered some challenges at a high level and there’s so many more things to be said which can be discussed at a later time. The main section truly related to black women only was the dating bias part as studies have supported that black women get the short stick. Other than that, negative stereotypes, systematic racism, cultural differences etc affect both black men and black womens choices.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! 😊
Am going to do a reaction on your video today i got alot to say lol
@@MAD_DOGZ_TV Oh Lord! Should I be concerned…
@DamiZain I wouldn't say so I just want to be the voice for some black men watching this
😂 “I wouldn’t say so” doesn’t sound promising. I’ll wait to see what you come up with though.
@@DamiZain lol ill get a female in the uk to be on there also as i cant speak for a female lol and its a good topic ..
@MAD_DOGZ_TV Fairs. No singular person can speak for their whole demographic anyway. Hence why I opened up the discussion in the comments. Look forward to seeing your reaction video.
When i see black women in putney they are only dating you know. I swirl not.
Stereotypes about black women exist for good reasons and there's no point in blaming the media or society when it can be seen in person by most pple. No matter what side of the pond or what part of the world they live or originate from.
My love, in 2021, there were 21.5 million black women in the United States alone that does not even cover 10% of the TOTAL population of black people in the world and you suggest that 2 are the same?? Nobody on this planet is a monolith and the perpetual issue is people like you that form baseless and superficial generalisations surrounding a broad range of people.
Culture, regional factors, varying historical backgrounds, varying socio-economic backgrounds and even media exposure all play a pivotal part in the composition of an individual, their constructs and subsequently what becomes their experience.
Troll pretending to be a bw
My opinion is in the UK you either get 30% of black women who think they’re super nice!!! because they’re above average pretty, have lighter skin and have slightly straighter hair and then flip reverse you have about 60% who don’t put the same work in like their white counterparts and so for some aren’t as attractive …. Eg when you go to the gym or see women running on the roads.. how many black women vs white women do you really see?? Although you have always seen for decades us black men putting the exercise and looking after our body’s vs other nationalities… that’s just one observation/ example… the average black man won’t go 2 weeks without a fresh trim… can that be said about the average black women generally speaking… again just an observation… don’t get me wrong I love my black women and I date both black and white women but us black men do share these struggles plus others.
As a Black woman that works out, I can tell you that looking for a man who is fit and healthy is just as hard as finding a woman that’s the same. Issues of health seem to be even across genders. Not saying all my friends workout but I also lower my requirements for men I date….
@@Jammin1288 I appreciate your response and I will say that black girls are working out more now than before but surely you’ve got to admit that black men dominate the gym (with the M25 atleast and city locations) vs black womens on the female side… now the element of “fit” is a another point/discussion because a lot of black guys go to gym for muscle definition and body sculpture.
@@kxander8108 men in general dominate the gym which has more to do with society's view of the ideal male body etc. That part is not a race thing. Many women acheive their ideal body in other spaces or by dieting alone. My point is that once I leave the gym I encounter more out of shape men than fit men. I think BW and BM are not taking care of themselves at similar rates.
This was a VERY good video….. I will say my preference is to date only black women which seemed easier a few tears back. I find that in the present on both sides of the spectrum both bm and bw often allow social stereotypes of the opposite sex to suppress their willingness and ability to date
Black women are very complicated, Try being nice or just saying hello
vice versa, black men don't realise you guys can be scary too. Try starting a polite conversation. I rarely have a black man greet me in public unless he's old.
I am gonna try putting my ethnicity to white and see how it goes 😅 bc as of now the pool is small ngl
Yes! Let us know how it goes!!!
One of my friends did it too and she’s in a relationship now! 😂
Heres the thing i will say making this hard to analyse. The black immigrant population in the uk as in not 3rd gen windrush descended or British born Africans is less than africans who have come here as teens and adults who are absorbed in the british black population soon as they have papers. This is significant because Mr Z who left congo at 18 and his partner who left there or elsewhere as a teen or an adult though will tick off they are black british on applications they may likely stay socially secluded in their sub black African community in a way that if you're a british born African interacting more widely normally with british Jamaicans heavily and others as YOUR norm you wouldn't fully detect. I think this is a big piece of this thats overlooked. Black british BORN more are more IR focused while black British men who werent socialised like us as came here as teens and adults are NOT and i think they account for more of the black British men population ratio than us. I could be way off
Imagine thinking this much about life 😂😂😂😂
There's thousands of short Black males in the UK.
Instead of chatting bollocks online, why don't British BW like London, go and date these short Black men then?
I will wait.
BW here.
1: stop saying BM don’t find you attractive as though they are a prize. Are you walking around being rejected? Stop!
2: BW and WW don’t date or attract the same type of BM. I have rarely seen a BM with a WW I would give the time of day. Different mentality
3: BW stop saying you only date BM as if it’s a flex, you look dumb.
The whole world the birds and the bees understand the lack of respect and value he places on you.
3: broaden your horizons and be open to different types of men for crying out load.
4: Stop blaming the WM for inferiority complex that BM have.
Stop blaming them for the fact they place no value on you
5: BM are not out here with mixed race women either they are with WW for the most part. Mixed race women are out here just like BW
6: BW do NOT care who BM date it’s the level they are prepared to sink to in order to date WW. The lack of self respect is disturbing.
7: Why do BW not suffer from loving the image of BM if it’s the media to blame?
8: why do BW understand you never go over to other races and place yourself and your people firmly beneath their feet. ONLY BM do this!
According to the figures in this video African British
Men and African women are in interracial rates at the same rate. So clearly black women are doing the same. This idea that black men prefer other races and don’t value bw yet black women only stick to white men is an exaggeration at least a complete lie at most
I'd like to know what the females are saying cause clearly I'm not yalls type.
2:59 20 to 25% isn't that around the same figure as 23%?
Yep.
When you say Caribbean you should just say mainly Jamaican. Jamaican are most likely to choose white women
I’m not sure about that tbh. The stats didn’t break down by country unfortunately so I can’t really make that statement
😂😂😂
Hi I have only gone 5m-42sec into this and I think you are already straying onto the wrong track - I would love to discuss this with you and lay out my experience in dating - or more accurately, trying to date British Black Women - how do I contact you directly?
@@advocateproductions656 my details are in my caption. I’m open to discussing further! 😊
Stopped caring about black men a long time ago! If you love drama, PTSD, outside babies etc then a black man is for you! 🤩
First time viewer here. I like you Dami but I think that you might be a bit naive as to the self perception of most “Average-looking” women. Most of them think they deserve a top 2% of men, lol
Thanks for watching! 😊 Not once did I mention “average-looking” women. 🫣 But, I do regard myself as an “average-looking” woman and I certainly know my limit when it comes to what my spec can be. But then I’m realistic.
I feel both men and women have unrealistic preferences when it comes to what they desire in a partner. I also think a lot of people struggle to be honest with themselves about their own flaws… 😅
What is an average looking woman?
🎉🎉🎉
I think BW are beautiful worldwide but its just the attitude and the arrogant personality for me most wont speak unless they find you attractive l still would rather be with a BW but its hard to find fthem here in America . I was thinking about going to the the UK to get a BW but a lot of UK BM say the UK BW are ratchet like the American ones l was shock because l all ways thought UK BW are nice the UK BW l meet where really nice.
8:23 what does the c word mean?
Covid 😭
@@DamiZain😭😭 okay
@@DamiZainThe reason these 20-25% supposed ‘males’ probably divest because they don’t feel like men; they’ve been emasculated by ⚪️ society& their systems so subconsciously they think that they can’t handle a ⚫️ woman because they can’t military protect their women & children. If you don’t see ⚫️ woman as something you can protect won’t see her as female or you will feel inadequate as a supposed ‘male’ & its sad because our mothers don’t raise us to be militant or protective because they don’t want us to die in battle
I am a one in ten!!!!
She got nice lips
You missed one of the important points, it is financially draining to date black women, especially African black women. They expect you to pay for everything and take care of them.
That’s a cultural thing. In Africa, the men are taught that they must provide for their women. Africans subscribe to gender roles a lot more - it’s literally ingrained in the fabric of our cultures (especially Nigerians 😂). So if you’re dating an African who was raised traditionally, it’s more likely the African men already know his role is to provide and the African woman expects him to.
😂... Un-dateble!!!!!! ... 😂🤭
alot of black women would love to date a white man or outside of their race but alot of men of other races have low interest in black women in comparisson to interest in women of other races. But that is changing as the dating market get harder alot of men of other races will begin to go to the easy option; and men of other races know that black women are often their easiet option, due to high interest that black women have in dating outside of their race and having a mixed child.
There's no online bias....they just don't want you. Stop with the excuses and take some accountability. All the dating apps studies show bw are the least responded to. The bw isn't a desired woman....accept and make the changes
There are literal studies on racial bias in online dating. Stop trolling 😂
@@DamiZain And there are also studies showing the bw is:
The least married (to any race)
The least swiped on
The highest single mother rate
The highest std rate
It's quite sad how bw have destroyed the black family structure and leave their children no legacy. So laugh now....but those who laugh first laugh last. You pushed your good men to the side for the worst black men and that is something you have to live with....Good luck 👍🏾😉
@@borntobeblack6718incel
stop talking with your hands
You don’t to watch the video 😂 🙄😒
No! I will talk and express myself how I want. If you don’t like it, don’t watch my videos.
@@DamiZain your too close to the camera if there was more space between you and the camera it wouldn't be so noticeable, being so close becomes a distraction
@@controlrod81 again, if it’s too distracting maybe my videos aren’t for you.
That's a strange criticism 😂
date who you fall in love with you should not see race if you are in love with someone people go to Chester UK night club on a Saturday night it is called Rosie's night club every one dates interracial on a Saturday night that's what they go there for
no shade to black women. Dating white women is better. the sex is better, they are more feminine and more caring.
Each to their own I guess. 😂