Cinematic Excrement: Episode 143 - Cats
Вставка
- Опубліковано 22 тра 2024
- In which I explain the mathematics of dick kicking.
BLOG: cinematicexcrement.wordpress.com
TWITTER: / smeghead4269
MASTODON: ohai.social/@smeghead4269
VIMEO: vimeo.com/cinematicexcrement (If you can't find an older episode of Cinematic Excrement on UA-cam, it's probably here.)
0:00 - Intro
3:38 - Cats' Origins
7:16 - The Movie Begins
11:13 - Tom Hooper
13:35 - Macavity!
17:07 - The Music
17:59 - Conclusion
20:07 - Credits - Комедії
An animated version of _Cats_ would've been awesome. Hand drawn and everything.
It could have been beautiful if they had gotten actual cast members to do rotoscoping for it
Or it could just be an Illumination film...
Dingo Pictures could have done this better(at least it could have been funny)
Yeah but Balto sadly flopped at the box office. :(
If you ever look up the old character model sheets online, they're some real gems. I especially love their design for Macavity--he looks like a proper Disney villain, and I love it.
When the trailer came out, I mentally apologized for every single time I ever mocked the stage makeup and costumes. Edit: I really hope the CGI folks strike next.
If I can clear up the "Jellicles"/"Pollicles" comment, those were actually based on the way T.S. Eliot's niece would refer to dogs and cats. Since she was a very little girl when the poems were written (and partially dedicated to her), "Jellicle cat" was her way of saying "dear little cat", and "Pollicle dog" was her way of saying "poor little dog." It's not a special group so much as a cutesy nickname.
I'll admit I'm a huge fan of the stage show--I credit it with actually making me realize I wanted to be an actor--and there's a part of me that feels... weirdly protective of the 2019 movie. Yes, it's a flaming mangled trainwreck, but it's *my* flaming mangled trainwreck. But honestly, "Cats" by its very nature is one of those shows that really doesn't work on film except as a recorded version of the stage show itself. I nearly wore out my grandma's VHS of the 1998 recording, so that's the version I direct people towards if they're curious about the show.
Thanks for explaining the terms. :) In all honesty, I love Cats the Movie. It's godawful, but I love it in a same way I love The Room or Plan Nine from Outer Space. It's just such a specific, one of a kind dumpster fire that enjoyed it throughout! Good luck in your career!
Thanks for the explanation I thought it was just made up nonsense before haha
Three years and three movies left in this project of yours. Sean, on behalf of all 39.6K of us, I salute you. And I can't WAIT for your next project, whatever it may be.
I hope he will appear on the God Awful Movies Podcast !
I don't think Absolute Proof is the worst movie of 2020 because I don't consider it a movie. It's a newscast. A really really terrible newscast.
@@MrChaotic4 It's a fantasy wrapped in an enigma turned into a paradox. Sure it's no coincidence that "absolute proof" is a term used in alcohol distribution....
Me too! I think I'm there since Cocktail and I can't wait for whatever awaits next!
Only 2 days later and it's 39.7K of us!
Okay, the name fake out sequence is actual comedic gold.
They accidentally made a horror movie. Bravo.
I remember leaving theatre scarred for life, after seeing Rebel Wilson spreading her legs and peeing in the sink, the thing is - no one believed me and when I finally got to show it to my friends, I was horrified that that scene wasn't there. ME AND MY WIFE SAW IT! WE BOTH DID! I went to google wtf happened, just to find out, that no one talks about that scene as if it never happened. But then in march of 2020 I saw an article, where someone said, that THANKFULLY that scene was shot but cut from theatrical release. The thing is... I'm not from US, not even first world country, so I'm 100% positive, that due to them not having finished their movie up until the day of the premier, they had to send drafts to theatres around the world, resulting in this scene being included in the version I saw... This scene is gone from history, just like my sanity, but I feel like I witnessed history unfold before my very eyes.
I similarly heard people claim that there's a scene where you can see a straight up un-CGId extra in the background. No cat body, no fur, just a man in a spandex suit. I have yet to see any confirmation of it, but it wouldn't surprise me.
You got Mandela Effected bro 😂 Welcome to the slightly less terrible universe in which that scene never happened and didn't get the chance to scar anyone 😏
@@danij5055 I know it happened. My wife knows it happened. We were convincing people it happened for 3 months, while no news even existed of it being a thing. I remember the exact shot. It's imprinted into my brain. You don't imagine Rebel Wilson spreading her legs over the sink and peeing in it!
@@kressnik Oh I'm not doubting you. Just making a joke. In reality it could be that you saw it before the film was "patched" and afterwards that scene was thankfully removed, so no one else needed to be scarred by such a sight. Don't worry, I honestly don't think you and your wife hallucinated it or anything.😆 It is not unbelievable that that movie had such a scene in it at one point.
Sorry for your eyes. I hope that your nightmares are over and that you and your wife recovered.
I am here to help! Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats is a corruption of "poor little dogs," and "dear little cats," all I believe from a child attempting to speak properly.
This clear and concise explanation is much appreciated
Close. It was actually supposed to be imitating this sort of posh, mush-mouth way of speaking.
@@jdrvargo287 ah, apologies. I was going by memory, and got too excited to double check my sources.
Consider: The whole plot of the movie revolves around a bunch of cats choosing one of their own to DIE, in hopes that they are resurrected. It’s Carousel from Logan’s Run, but with furries.
Logan's Run, a MUCH better movie I have to watch again.
And somewhere outside London, is a great big pile of dead cats. Thanks for that image, Webber!
@@louisduarte8763 funny you should bring up Logan's Run since the old man (Peter Ustinov) is surrounded by cats, and then starts quoting from the T. S. Eliot book
"Did you know that each cat has three names?"
@@ggrarl Now that I think about the premise of CATS, it may have inspired part of MAD MAX: FURY ROAD. The "chosen" cat basically says to his or her compatriots "WITNESS ME! I ride into Valhalla!"
@@louisduarte8763
Hmm... On that note, it could also have inspired the animated movie 'Felidae', wherein the protagonist tomcat discovers a cat suicide-cult in his owner's attic.
consider: TS Eliot was a right-winger, and this idiotic display of self-sacrifice fits in with his fascist ideology.
I'm still confused why they didn't just use costumes and makeup prosthetics for the cats. It may be a nightmare fuel but at least it'd be easy on the eyes.
I actually like the approach they took in the stage show--the wigs, the leg and arm warmers, and all the little fluffy bits on the costumes break up the human silhouette more and don't outright make them *look* like cats, but more *suggest* cats. In the movie, it's like they're trying to split the difference between human and cat, and it just doesn't look right. Especially when you've got this flat empty plane where the human ears should be (which the wigs also fix because they're supposed to fit *over* the actors' ears).
Either Rick Baker (if he decided to come out of retirement) or Greg Nicotero and Howard Berger would've been the perfect choices.
I would have LOVED to have seen the original intention for this movie back in the 90s, being hand drawn and produced by Amblimation.
Shame their movies underperformed. Balto’s always been a personal favorite of mine.
It would have been great and from the concept art it looked great and stylish
Plus from what was thought of was that it would be set somewhere around WWI
Frankly, the 1998 straight-to-video recording; even though I will admit as a little kid the close-ups to the actors faces actually scared the crap outta me; allowed the actors to bring their personality to their characters and it actually works well
But this…man this just writes itself as a “WHAT THE FUCK HOLLYWOOD!!?”
Out of everyone involved in this, I feel the most for Francesca Hayward. She is the Clara I go to watch every year in the Nutcracker at the Royal Opera House, and I wish her all the best. This role seemed like a perfect debut for an accomplished ballerina, but sadly, it turned into a dumpstet fire.
It wasn't really her fault... blame the bad writing and bad cgi...
She did the best she could and she’s clearly a beautiful dancer, I feel bad she hasn’t done much since
Jennifer Hudson is far too talented for this movie.
Yeah, I feel bad for Robert Fairchild (former principal dancer with New York City Ballet, played Munkustrap in this mess) as well. Feature film debut. Stick to Broadway from now on, Robbie.
Sad that’s this is probs the only thing on her Hollywood resume.
Surprised this movie isn’t on a list of movies that ended actor’s careers.
Still gotta go with Haunting of Sharon Tate as the worst of the year, at least Cats didn't use a real life murder for shock value.
Hilary Duff was wasted on that.
Especially when Tarantino gave us a pretty good alternate history version of that event with the 3rd act of Once Upon A Time in Hollywood, also Margot Robbie looks more like Sharon Tate than Hillary Duff (sorry, not sorry)
I agree. Disrespecting a real life murder is way worse than a bad adaptation of a popular musical no matter how uncanny valley the final result is.
Have not seen that film myself, but I’m inclined to agree. Tastelessness is worse than just flat out bizarre.
"Brought to you by Saban Films. The _mark of quality._ "
IIRC, another big reason why the CGI looks so terribly is the director's decision to not have the actors wear mocap suits. Instead, everyone have to just be painted over with the CGI bodies.
Ugh...he has no clue how CGI works.
Wow 😅 that’s stupidly awful 🤦♀️
Couldn't have Rick Baker come out of retirement to create impressive make up prosthetics for the actors? The movie still would've been bad, but at least it's something other than the nightmarish CGI designs.
As someone who's done computer animation (not professionally, though I have a BFA in it), let me just tell you that trying to rotoscope a 3D model over footage of real people is a major pain in the ass. It's never going to look as good as mocap (which doesn't always look good itself), and trying to get it to line up is going to be an exercise in futility. How a major film studio thought it was a good idea to not just let but *force* the VFX artists to do so is beyond my understanding.
@@SuperMarkerComicBro It's stories like this and what goes on at Disney/Marvel with their unrealistic timelines to finish VFX as well as underpay and overwork them that makes you think VFX teams should maybe unionize or go on strike. The writers and actors are already at the picket lines. Why not add them too?
Hey, Idris Elba redeemed himself after he voiced Knuckles in Sonic the Hedgehog 2 a movie with far better cgi
And MPC did work on Prehistoric Planet.
Also the movie Beast. Which had better CGI cats.
@@ravager48 Knuckles was my favorite character behind Jim Carrey Robotnik
And better writing, Idris sounds like he is having a blast being Knuckles
Fun Fact: Judi Dench still hasn’t seen it
It’s probably best if she never sees it 😅
Can you blame her?
I wouldn’t want to watch it either
Nor should she
I really love CATS the musical.....the film not so much. A lot is the difference between theatre and film - you are encouraged to use your imagination in theatre.
What I don’t get is why they couldn’t have done the elaborate stage show costumes and added additional visual flair with puppetry and other stuff like the lion king stage musical. That production is STUNNING. It would have kept the fantastic elements alive and not looked like hot computer barf
Great question 😅
This travesty makes The Cat in The Hat look like film of the year.
The best Horror movie of the 2010s
If I get a cat, I’m naming him Etcetera.
Thanks!
As my sister said at the time, "We wanted 'Wicked.' We got 'Cats.'"
Now we’re getting the wicked movie, in two parts, it comes out in Christmas 2024 and Christmas 2025
@@ad-sd-vids5332Hopefully the two part Wicked turns out good. At the same time, it could be bad. Last time we saw Marc Platt produce a musical for Universal it was his son in that Evan Hansen adaptation everyone hated.
@ad-sd-vids5332 Production on "Wicked" has shut down because of the strike, so who knows if it'll actually make its release date.
@@BigEOT3That was mainly for the casting. Wicked doesn't have that problem.
@@BigEOT3 At the same time, it has the director of Crazy Rich Asians and In the Heights. Jon M. Chu more than redeemed himself after the Jem and the Holograms movie.
I saw this notification and I just went LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOO
Deep suffering. Also as a furry I can tell you that we rejected this abomination en masse.
"Also as a furry"
Please find a cliff.
I’m with you
@@devekut2Right wing profile pic, opinion disregarded
😐
Haven't seen one pron pic of it. That says it all 😂
So the worst part about the VFX was that MPC Vancouver (the main vendor on the show, where not just 90, but 110 hour weeks on Cats were standard) was shut down just after they finished Cats, with no notice to any of the artists. All the people that worked on Cats were unceremoniously laid off just before Christmas, basically told; 'you have 30 minutes, get your stuff, then get out'. They then had to re-hire a small group of them to fix the VFX after Cats was released. Oh, and most of these artists were also on Sonic before Cats, where they found out 6 months of work was scrapped over twitter.
And at the Oscars, Rebel Wilson and James Corden (f*** them) had the nerve to throw the VFX team under the bus.
They also did the Lion King remake IIRC, and the reason why they went under was largely because Disney failed to pay them after the work they did.
I saw Cats live when I took my mother to see it for her birthday, it's really the best way to experience Cats. No live action movie would create the experience of watching it live on stage.
There's a video on Sideways on how awful the production process of Les Miserable was. Hugh Jackman had to dehydrate himself for 36 hours straight to get that old sick look. It's a miracle his voice didn't get injured!
I reflexively drank a glass of water upon watching that part of the video.
That could explain his infamously awful singing.
@@Yeen125 As much as I dislike "The Greatest Showman" Jackman sang better in that movie than he ever did in Les Miz. Hydration is key to singing!
I can already feel the beauty of this episode washing over me
It seems like most modern movies are allergic to using costumes and makeup these days. Too much CGI.
A lot of them seem to think that post-production is a magic land full of wizards who can pour all the effort they didn't bother with into the movie at the last second.
The phrase "We'll fix it in post" has become the bane of VFX teams existence.
I belive the thing they're allergic to is Union Labor, hence why they want to use AI for extras now. VFX houses are usually ununionized, so they plug the holes in practical effects and other jobs that would cost too much money.
I should get some sleep. It's late.
Sees new Cinematic Excrement episode is uploaded.
Oh well. Sleep can wait 20 minutes.
I have been watching this channel for years. I will never, EVER understand how Sean still only has 39K subs. I keep expecting it to blow up. Not that 39k is something to be looked down upon. Not at all. It's amazing. But compared to other channels' relative size and quality, he deserves SO many more subs.
It is quite an achievement that the Broadway musical's costumes of decades ago were better than what could be managed in this movie.
Yeah 'Cats' is the reason why Tom Hooper's Oscar win over David Fincher in 2010 stings so much given how his desire for more Oscar glory led to diminishing returns and 'Cats' was the nadir.
Fun fact, this movie was so bad that it made Andrew Lloyd Webber a dog person. Anyways, next time we’ll be watching a movie that’s somehow even worse than Hilary’s America and Sia’s Music.
The "movie" that suffocated Sia's Music for Worsr Picture
@@antibishoneni hope Sean dies that movie too. It needs to be slated.
@@antibishonen I don't think that Sia intended to make something that insulting. Mike Lindell did.
For a moment, I did wonder if you’d pull a joke and review the late 90s Cats movie. 😅 Thank you for reminding me to rewatch this with the Rifftrax… after watching this, of course.
Flipside, you have three more movies until the quest ends… until next year that is.
What's really funny about MacCavity is that in the lyrics of the song (and the poem) he's described as a "Ginger Cat" and in the stage musical, he is. What happened in the movie? And incidentially, I was one of those whose last film in a theater before lockdown was "Cats."
I extremely hate what they did to the Bustopher Jones character. Thanks to the embarrassment that is James Corden, they misinterpreted what the character from the poem and character is. The character had dignity but thanks to Corden’s casting, it’s a annoying punchline.
Bustopher Jones in this movie looks like a mix between Garfield and The Cat in the Hat.
I have a feeling the character was going to be turned into a punchline no matter who was cast. Given the idiots in charge.
Jennyanydots was destroyed just as badly.
Hard to believe you're this close to finishing the Razzie Marathon.
you’re*
Fitting that all the theaters closed right after this was released lol.
Coincidence.
At the time, I would joke that the movie was so bad that it lead to the near-apocalypse.
I heard that Andrew Lloyd Webber was so dissatisfied with the final product of the film that he got a therapy dog
Ha! Sorry, but I feel no pity for the guy who inflicted Love Never Dies upon the theater world.
I remember seeing the trailer when I was at the cinema with my children and thinking "Good god! Is this supposed to be a family film?! That looks like a challenging nightmare film for a seasoned adult horror fan!"
The Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer sequence in the film is adapted from the original West End production rather than what most people are familiar with.
i would never have thought it possible, but taylor swift in the cat costume makes halle berry's catwoman's costume look reasonable by comparison...
Unlike the movie, this review did not disappoint.
Makes me feel lucky that the last movie I saw in theaters before lockdown was the Sonic movie.
Nice touch of the warning being in cat language and leaving it up like it would take awhile to read. 😂
Saw the notification, and my immediate reaction was “Uh-oh”
Can you imagine if they made a Starlight Express movie in this style?
Honestly, I really like the Skimbleshanks sequence. I like the way his dance mimics the sound of a train movement, I like his design, I like the fact that it more or less embraces fantasy elements. When I saw the film in theaters, I walked out within like the first half hour, so I missed the Skimble scene, and when it was on digital/DVD, I heard people talking about how good the scene is and so I found it on UA-cam and, yeah, it’s fucking great and better than it has any right to be considering the movie it’s in
I was struggling with a sort of depression, then I watched this movie and somehow got better. I may have lost my mind...
The modern day equivalent of The Apple.
Aka, another movie that Sean should review.
You poor man. You took one for the team watching this your bravery and sacrifice will go down in legend
2010: The King's Speech (winner of the 2011 Oscars for Best Picture)
2019: Cats (The 2020 Razzies winner for Worst Picture)
What happened to you, Tom Hooper?
@@stonegasman3866 Hooper got lucky with the Kings Speech. It was the right amount of Oscar bait and there was no way they were gonna give Best Picture to a far more deserving movie like say The Social Network or Inception (I prefer the former since it's more relevant but I'm not an Academy voter).
He directed Les Mis and thought he can be a good musical director even though he actually sucked at them.
People make fun of Russell Crowe but Hugh Jackman was also bad, always sounding like he has sandpaper in his throat while gasping for air.
Mostly because he sang most of his songs dehydrated (which is vocal suicide because every vocalist, opera signer and musical performers would tell you that eight tall glasses of water is a bare minimum)
Why they kept giving musicals to him? He just sucks at them.
The concept art of the proposed animated version looked very good. Way better than the live action film that's for sure.
Looking at what movies are left on the list, it's really hard to believe that we're almost done with the Worst Picture project, what a journey it has been, five years... five years...
While a somewhat fan of Cats, while I agree that the plot can be slow especially since I’m not a big fan of musicals that sing the entire time, it’s more fun to play around with the theories with the characters.
Some of my personal favorites are:
-the three sons of Deuteronomy (Macavity, Munkustrap, and Rum Tug in that order). Macavity was heir until he was banished from his magic used in dishonorable ways causing his resentment of the tribe and Munkus being heir instead.
-Grizabella being the three sons’ mother but abandoned them shortly after their birth and Jennyanydots stepping up as caretaker
-Bomballerina and Demeter are sisters who had a thing with Macavity at one point. He well……did something awful to Demeter and then they escaped and returned to the tribe thus creating Munkustrap x Demeter with Demeter’s daughter Jemima.
My god, it’s finally here! One of my favorite terrible movies ever!
It's perfect for all the wrong reasons.
Welp. It was about time we talked about this shit stain!
Also, the last movie I saw before lock down was Pixar’s Onward. It was beautiful!
Sean, thank you for the upload before I go to bed, and I love your hellfire club shirt! Love you dude!!🥰👍🏻💜
Onward was the last film I saw before the lockdown too.
The last movie I saw before lockdown was Little Women.
Mine was Sam Mendes 1917 so at least it was a good movie to [temporary] finish on.
The last film I saw in a cinema before lockdown was Portrait Of A Lady On Fire, going by my Letterboxd list of new films I saw in 2020.
Mine was either Sonic or Bloodshot
3 movies to go for this long journey! (no surprise Amblimation closed down because of the box office failure of Balto once they planned on doing that adaptation of the musical Cats!)
The formation of DreamWorks also played a major role in the fall of Amblimation.
They should have made a movie about the Swat Cats instead.
We went to see this film with our friend group on the opening night. We gave the film standing ovations.
I still think Black Christmas 2019 and Playmobil the movie should have gotten some razzie nods. And the last film I saw before lockdown was Pixar's Onward.
I was a fan of "Cats" back in the day. I recognized most of the names of Jellicle cats you listed but the ones I didn't recognized I chalked up to being in the chorus, whose names I did not remember. The Sideways YT channel did a video explaining the plot of the stage show which I found enlightening and made sense to my nostalgic remembering.
Judi Dench at least got to take part in the show she was initially removed from. There’s something sweet about that.
Cats is one of my favorite musicals and I had so much ripping into this movie when I saw it.
I remember seeing this in the theater and an older couple were a few rows back angry at some teens talking during the previews like Cats was gonna be fine cinema and it was disrespectful to talk before it came on. Fast forward to 15 minutes into the movie and they got up and walked out in disgust of how bad the movie was 🤣
I'm usually the person who watches a movie all the way to the end, no matter how bad it is, but Cats was an endurance test for me. It took me two tries to watch the whole thing.
Can't wait for you to talk about Absolute Proof!
“Whose idea was this, and why are they not in prison?” That’s your finest quip yet, Sean! 😂
Sean!!
I have to sleep...
Well, sleep can wait!
Ive been rewatching this and other CE episodes lately and still the joke about the names of the characters that starts at about 5:00 and lasts the whole minute absolutely slays me every time. Like I legit cant stop snickering. Sean's comedic timing remains top notch.
The second I get notifications, I rush to watch the video
Poor Ian McKellen. I just finished The Two Towers and no words can describe how baffled I am that he was in one of my favorite movies as well in one of the most weirdass cinematic experience I got!😂
So glad you're back at full length!
3 in the morning 5 minutes after release. Let’s go!!!
The stage costumes from the play look amazing, just do the same for the movie, maybe look a little more seamless, less costume like.
If you want to know more about why the music doesn't work in this version, Sideways has a really good video going over it.
For some people this is the last movie they ever watched in a theater ever, because the pandemic killed 3 million people in 2020 alone.
Great job with the review. I really enjoyed the movie clip inserts !!!!
I had seen the original production on Broadway and have been studiously voiding the movie. Your video convinces me that I really want to keep studiously avoiding the movie. Thanks!
I’ve been waiting for you to get to this one, Sean! Thanks for your sacrifice!
Talk about the purrrrrfect experience
I love that you brought up how this film was probably the last one people saw in theaters before Lockdown, and true! It was what me and my older sibling saw before covid happened lmao.
The DVD release they did in the 2000s is my favorite version. Like the musical or not, the technical work was great!
I love love love your sense of humor!
"Hal...it's about cats."
I thought something was wrong with my speakers so I turned volume waaay up.
"YEEEEP" made me almost go deaf.
My roommate and I saw it during lockdown and when Idris Elba showed up for his big number we both screamed in horror! How did Tom Hooper think it was a good idea to make him look more naked than the other cats?
Just a reminder that somewhere out there, theres a cut of this movie where all the actors have CAT BUTTHOLES
BECAUSE THATS WHAT THE DIRECTOR THOUGHT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA!
RELEASE THE BUTTHOLE CUT!
😅no
Zootopia did the same.
After hearing about the completely insane attitude of the director, I imagine him entering the movie set wearing a Napoleon hat made of paper and riding a broom while screaming "I AM THE KING OF LIZARDS!".
You’re nearly there Sean
This movie looks like one of Garfield’s fever dreams.
Also, your next review will be about the My Pillow Guy? Oh boy, suddenly Cats doesn’t look so bad now.
you know in 15 years a passionate fanbase is going to spring up for this movie and call it an underappreciated masterpiece
Sadly, the last movie I saw in theaters before everything caught fire was Bombshell, so I got off the hook from this nightmare.
Speaking of, good luck with Mike Lindell's Through The Windshield Glass or whatever.
If you can find footage of it that is
The only movie you’ve reviewed that I’ve seen. Took a stage to screen class as a 3 week cram course. I was forced to watch both versions of Cats in a day and a half. Seeing this movie changes you like war.
Mungojerrie? Didn't that cat sing "In the Summertime"?
The last movie I saw before the world ended…. I mean, locked down, was Sonic The Hedgehog… twice
The Rifftrax is the only way I was able to make it through this whole movie, and even then I had to take lengthy breaks.
In some alternate universe, this movie is animated and is a huge success! Not only that, it becomes the first animated movie to win the Academy Award for Best Picture.
Why do we exist in this crappy universe?