I dunno, they both sound really reeeeally social. Ok, I've been to bars; it's been a lotta years, and it was kinda social (and is it weird that when I swipe my index finger across my phone's keyboard for the word 'social,' that one of the suggested words is 'su1c1dal,' but spelled correctly with all the letters? I don't use that word for anything. I used the 1 as i to not get flagged.). I'm not looking for social!! But even if I get enough money together that I can spend on joining the Y, I have to talk to someone about goals? Like, just wanting to be healthier and coming in 4 days a week isn't enough of a goal? Pucking he||. Just let me use the elliptical for 20 minutes, some 2 lb. weights to start off for 20 minutes (and someone can help so I don't hurt myself if that's a concern), then water aerobics if available, and do that 4 days a week, and leave me alone. Sheeesh.
@@gcchair7634 Lewis Black is spot on with many of his observations. I just get tired of the swearing. I’m no prude, Madigan gets hers in too but just not as much.
Congratulations from the core of my soul. I’m trying to quit for the 700th time this decade. Honestly I’d rather have to - anything - lick cat boxes clean. Argue about politics. Be pregnant. Anything. Can you believe how hard it was!?! Bravo to you and our beloved Kathleen
I quit smoking 10 years ago...... I still want one. If I ever find out how long I have to live..... I'm buying a damn pack of cigarettes. I still enjoy the smell of one too.
OH MY!!! When I joined a gym at 60+ I had a "Cindy" to tell me I just MUST discipline myself - 600 sit-ups (exaggerated) and more ++++ LOL I'm with your Kathleen.
I remember 2 months into quitting, went to pay for some gas and looked down on the counter and there was a pack of cigarettes. I swear I don't remember asking for those. Kicking an addiction is a mutha. That was 10 years ago. NEVER in my life that I thought I would say I'm an ex smoker.
Yep I’m in that club too, a non smoker I never thought I would do it but here I am only 1.5 years ago but for those quitting I stopped counting how many days without a cigarette at about 60 days so don’t give up
I quit 3 months ago but when I smell a burning cigarette it's fucking delicious. I hope I get to a point where they don't smell exactly like what I want.
Paying the $62 a month is HOW you lose weight at a gym. It's NOT by "working out", It's by having $62 a month LESS for food! 😜 PS: I love her! We need more comedians like Kathleen! Forget politics, I want humor about the day-to-day that is relatable!
Too broke to even hit the drive-through for a fast-food meal on your way home; too super-tired afterward to stand up in your own kitchen long enough to actually make yourself a meal.
The best way i tell people about nicotine addiction. The movie ghost. Their is a scene where a ghost is teaching the main character on how to be a ghost. Shows him breaking a cigarette vending machine. Packs fall out. Kneels down over one. And says “ I would anything for a drag. Anything! Just one drag! The dude is dead and he still wants a cigarette
The same with me. I quit after 30 years of chain smoking. Now my lungs are better but i am not better as a whole. Problems that i did not have when i smoked are surfacing now. I never had a flu or cold but now it occurs every 3 to 4 months and that too unbearable. Sometimes i feel i want to go back but the price of cigarettes have gone sky high that i cannot afford getting into an addiction.
I broke my 32-year addiction in July 2018. I still want one every day, and I assume that desire will continue for my lifetime. The only change I've seen is a persistent hoarse voice and a gain of ten pounds.
I just quit smoking and shoving peoples faces through glass and smoking whatever is left on the other side is EXACTLY what I want to do right now . . . .
I always wanted Emily Stone and this to comedian to do a movie together. Mom and daughter. Some sort of relatives. They would work great together. Their humor seems to mirror one another.
Quit 13 years ago. Still crave once in awhile. I wish I could be a casual smoker who indulges with 2 or 3 cigarettes a few months apart. Nope. If I smoke 2 or 3 now I’d be up to a pack a day within a few days.
I quit 12 years ago. Gained 40 pounds, lost it, gained it back. Hell, I was probably healthier smoking. If the doctor EVER tells me I have 6 months or less to live I'm buying a carton on the trip home.
Cindy, have you ever stayed at the gym so long that the owner had to get his biggest brutes to carry you out and drop you on the sidewalk outside? Cindy: Oh gosh no. Me either Cindy but this happens to me regularly at the bar. You want to why Cindy???? Cause I’m having fun Cyndi.
I quit two years ago, I don't miss it at all. Because if you can't breathe it scares the hell out of you, suffocation sucks . Spend a week in the hospital with oxygen on and quitting is easy.
i tried to join a gym and had to deal with this same crap i just got up and was like never mind i am just going to buy myself a weight set and tread mill and walked out
"I am here to delay the date and severity of my impending stroke", exactly and thank you.
One of the most underrated comics today. I’ve never been bored watching her on stage.
Same
The giggle after being such a dead pan is one thing I really love.❤
Sam kinison
Her voice is so deadpan, I love it!! And yes, a bar is MUCH more fun than a gym!!!
" i never stayed at a Gym so long I got kicked out"😂😂🤣😅😆
I dunno, they both sound really reeeeally social. Ok, I've been to bars; it's been a lotta years, and it was kinda social (and is it weird that when I swipe my index finger across my phone's keyboard for the word 'social,' that one of the suggested words is 'su1c1dal,' but spelled correctly with all the letters? I don't use that word for anything. I used the 1 as i to not get flagged.). I'm not looking for social!!
But even if I get enough money together that I can spend on joining the Y, I have to talk to someone about goals? Like, just wanting to be healthier and coming in 4 days a week isn't enough of a goal? Pucking he||. Just let me use the elliptical for 20 minutes, some 2 lb. weights to start off for 20 minutes (and someone can help so I don't hurt myself if that's a concern), then water aerobics if available, and do that 4 days a week, and leave me alone. Sheeesh.
I'm going to open a bar, and call it a gym.
One of the few comics I’d pay again and again to see live. Absolute legend.
I have paid to see her. One of my favorites.
Saw her about three weeks ago in Durham NC. She killed.
And Lewis Black
@@gcchair7634 Lewis Black is spot on with many of his observations. I just get tired of the swearing. I’m no prude, Madigan gets hers in too but just not as much.
Saw her years ago in Boston. My sides hurt so bad from laughing. Best catholic school stories I every heard.
I quit over 15 years ago...and I still miss it.
Congratulations from the core of my soul. I’m trying to quit for the 700th time this decade. Honestly I’d rather have to - anything - lick cat boxes clean. Argue about politics. Be pregnant. Anything. Can you believe how hard it was!?! Bravo to you and our beloved Kathleen
U need a better life sir..I quit 15 yrs ago and don't even think about it and half my friends smoke .all outdoors of course.
24 years here….me too sometimes. I wish I could stop at just one but…..
NO/ don't teñl me that!! Still trying 2 cut the date... I lnow i will miss sitting a reflecting... No more pitt stops?...
35 years here. Damn things still smell good sometimes.
Kathleen is one of the best comics hands down
Love her. "Never stayed at a gym so long I was kicked out." 😂😂😂😂😂😂❤
The final hour is the best time to be at the gym. You barely have to wait for any machines. I'm certainly not going when the gym opens at 5am.
Her Yorkie imitation had my dog's attention. Kathleen is sooo funny!
I love to laugh and this woman gets me going every time.
I absolutely love everything she puts out. All the specials, all the bits, the podcast, all the interviews, everything.
Everything she puts out?
@@mrliberty8468 So. You are an ex- high school linebacker?
Your parents are so proud for your glory days.🎉
@@zeldasmith6154😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣
I've been a gym rat most of my life and I find this hysterical. I totally agree, as you get older, you move from "offense" to "defense."
Everything she delivers is brilliant.
I love this women! Great comedian!!
Woman
Michael T thanks for the grammar check. It was a typo.
@@donnalamb6391 Oh ok, no problem. I just figured you were illiterate.
Love Kathleen ❣️ I've seen her 3 times live and she is always amazing.
She has the best voice for stand up.
Madigan has always been one of the greats. I don't who you put her up against. She can hold her own with anyone at stand up.
The "fourth quarter Hail Mary pass" comment was hysterical!!!! 😂😂😂❤
You’ve got to love this girl. She lives in the real world ❤❤
The Yorkie with the uptalk. Lordy, lordy.
Kathleen Madigan is the type of woman that everyone wants to have. She's fun and she'll call out bullshit. THAT's a friend.
Love the comment about delaying the date and severity of my stroke
I quit smoking 10 years ago...... I still want one. If I ever find out how long I have to live..... I'm buying a damn pack of cigarettes. I still enjoy the smell of one too.
I have the same plan, except I am starting with a carton.
OH MY!!! When I joined a gym at 60+ I had a "Cindy" to tell me I just MUST discipline myself - 600 sit-ups (exaggerated) and more ++++ LOL I'm with your Kathleen.
“Listen Cindy, if I haven’t actually developed real discipline by now, do you think this place is going to do it?”
My dogs love her,they are just barking along with a big smile on their faces,great job Kathleen.
I remember 2 months into quitting, went to pay for some gas and looked down on the counter and there was a pack of cigarettes. I swear I don't remember asking for those. Kicking an addiction is a mutha. That was 10 years ago. NEVER in my life that I thought I would say I'm an ex smoker.
Yep, Hear you !!
Yep I’m in that club too, a non smoker I never thought I would do it but here I am only 1.5 years ago but for those quitting I stopped counting how many days without a cigarette at about 60 days so don’t give up
Seeing $10 a pack makes me happy I quit
I would love to go bar hopping with Kathleen and Lewis Black.
Great pairing!
I miss smoking more than some of my dead relatives 😂
🤣🤣
That’s hilarious! 🤣 Have you ever done stand-up?
@@brendatomlinson Her username alone kills me 😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂
@@Meisha-san damn I missed seeing your message ! Her name is 🤣
She's really funny. Love her stuff.
Always. So. Damn. Funny. LOVE Kathleen!
Best female comedian ever.
It took me a year to stop wanting a cigarette. Now it feels like I can't breathe if someone smokes near me.
Now you know how everyone else felt around you all those years
@@captainpoppleton
Thank you for your input Captain Snark. So supportive of a majorly difficult lifestyle change.
@@captainpoppleton It seemed that everyone smoked in those days and you could smoke everywhere.
I quit 3 months ago but when I smell a burning cigarette it's fucking delicious. I hope I get to a point where they don't smell exactly like what I want.
I stopped smoking for 3 years, wanted one every single f’ing day. So glad I started back. It keeps insufferable pricks away.
Kathleen, this was especially hilarious!! I have always loved your humor!! Thank you!!
Spot on. Great delivery.
Brava, Kathleen Madigan!
Very funny stuff KM, "...trying to delay and lessen the severity of my impending stroke." Love it.
I quit in 2006 after many tries. Loved this video.
i could listen to this woman all day, hilarious
Fabulous!
Oh God, I adore this woman.
Bars are both fun and hysterical. 🥳
I had TEARS from laughing so hard! I share the same gym philosophy as she does. Just trying to stave off the inevitable as long as possible.
My husband quit smoking 30 years ago. Still pissed off about it
A truly great comedian
Kathleen is awesome! love her!
One of the greats. I really wish she would get more notoriety.
I love her little laugh
Saw her live years ago, so funny.
She’s hilarious love her
I would love to party with this wonderful woman !
Yo. This lady is relatable. 😂😂
26 seconds in and I couldn’t agree more 😂💜
A Yorkie!
😂🤣😂
Paying the $62 a month is HOW you lose weight at a gym. It's NOT by "working out", It's by having $62 a month LESS for food! 😜 PS: I love her! We need more comedians like Kathleen! Forget politics, I want humor about the day-to-day that is relatable!
😂😂true!
Too broke to even hit the drive-through for a fast-food meal on your way home; too super-tired afterward to stand up in your own kitchen long enough to actually make yourself a meal.
I love to listen to her laugh. Makes me laugh along.
The best way i tell people about nicotine addiction. The movie ghost. Their is a scene where a ghost is teaching the main character on how to be a ghost. Shows him breaking a cigarette vending machine. Packs fall out. Kneels down over one. And says “ I would anything for a drag. Anything! Just one drag! The dude is dead and he still wants a cigarette
Just quit smoking. I feel the pain 😂😩
good luck
It gets better.
@@montanacrone8984 One week strong!
The same with me. I quit after 30 years of chain smoking. Now my lungs are better but i am not better as a whole. Problems that i did not have when i smoked are surfacing now. I never had a flu or cold but now it occurs every 3 to 4 months and that too unbearable. Sometimes i feel i want to go back but the price of cigarettes have gone sky high that i cannot afford getting into an addiction.
Have you moved? Allergies can be a big player.
and now you get to dream about cigarettes. and gain 100 lbs. ((sigh))
LOL Cigarette tar kills viruses and bacteria just like pneuma cells....
I hope that it eventually feels normal for you. It’s a really tough change to make.
Extremely addictive substance…merciless triggers and cravings.💜
I broke my 32-year addiction in July 2018. I still want one every day, and I assume that desire will continue for my lifetime. The only change I've seen is a persistent hoarse voice and a gain of ten pounds.
By far the best female comic ever.
Hitting home with the smokers
Her Yorkie impression - spot on for 21 year olds
Yep!! They sound like 1,000 teething babies.
And like Yorkies, 21-year-olds don’t seem to realize how tiny & insignificant they are among the big dogs @the park
She's bang on! Comedy is supposed to offend someone somewhere or it isn't comedy.
SAME!!!!!! So tough! And of course, then I gained all the weight!!
I just quit smoking and shoving peoples faces through glass and smoking whatever is left on the other side is EXACTLY what I want to do right now . . . .
She is hysterical 😊😅
It's been 8 years and i still dream of smoking! Forget the workout..am 73 and my goals ARE LONG GONE!!
Liked, shared and subscribed.
She's great
You are SO funny!!!😂
I always wanted Emily Stone and this to comedian to do a movie together. Mom and daughter. Some sort of relatives. They would work great together. Their humor seems to mirror one another.
aunt and niece! oh my god it would be a riot 😂
I saw her in St. Louis at the Funny Bone comedy club in 1992. Geez! We were both so much younger, then. Truth is, she still looks the same.
Lol! TU for morning inspiration! 4th quarter Hail Mary pass outta my a$$
I don’t smoke but I can relate on many levels.
Quit 13 years ago. Still crave once in awhile. I wish I could be a casual smoker who indulges with 2 or 3 cigarettes a few months apart. Nope. If I smoke 2 or 3 now I’d be up to a pack a day within a few days.
the stroke got me. Nice
So true. Quit smoking after 30 years. Now I’m coming apart.
At last. After 30 years. A woman who gets it. Humor is about the situation. Not about YOU.
SHUT UP...THANKS.
First time I saw her standup was on Comedy Centrals A-list show back in the 90s. Ill never forget the bit about the old woman smoking in a church pew.
Pride of St Louis MO!
The early moring July 5, 2023 will be one year since my last cigarette.
Seven days to go!
💪👏
I'm here for defense😂😂😂😂
I quit 12 years ago. Gained 40 pounds, lost it, gained it back. Hell, I was probably healthier smoking. If the doctor EVER tells me I have 6 months or less to live I'm buying a carton on the trip home.
Swear to God, it seems she has access to the exact thoughts, word for word, running through my head...
She perfectly describes one of the "personal trainers" at my club. High voice, upbeat, motivational....
...drives me insane.
a bar is fun to me too. lets go!
I have stayed so long that I was kicked out. Suddenly there’s only emergency light. Bam!
😅
Cindy, have you ever stayed at the gym so long that the owner had to get his biggest brutes to carry you out and drop you on the sidewalk outside?
Cindy: Oh gosh no.
Me either Cindy but this happens to me regularly at the bar.
You want to why Cindy????
Cause I’m having fun Cyndi.
Love it!😂
All I heard was a Yorkie barking.
Who needs Cindy?
…love, another Kathleen!
As someone 48 yrs old I related to that Hail Mary lessen your stroke joke way toooo much.
Great !
GR8 stuff ❤😂
I quit two years ago, I don't miss it at all. Because if you can't breathe it scares the hell out of you, suffocation sucks . Spend a week in the hospital with oxygen on and quitting is easy.
Great stuff!
she is so likable!
Hail Mary full of Grace
i tried to join a gym and had to deal with this same crap
i just got up and was like never mind i am just going to buy myself a weight set and tread mill and walked out
I wish I could find that jacket!
I quit 25 years ago. I don’t miss it. I started feeling better as soon as I got through the withdrawal part. Best decision I ever made.
Not here for offense
Here for defense😂😂😂😂
I sincerely hope that 10 years later, Kathleen is now better...