Story 1: NTA. The grandma forced his hand. They were already grieving, she was the only one who knew, so initially they would only have to let her know. Then she blew it up on social media. There was no time. They didn't want condolences but I think it would be worse to get a bunch of CONGRATS
I had 4 losses and agree. She found out they didn’t even tell her yet. The one loss people knew about because I got super ill was the worst. People saying cliches others walking on eggshells some ghosting us. I know people who had stillbirths and people felt so worried about saying something wrong that they ghosted them. 13 years out and most people don’t know about the babies I lost they were past the 12 week mark to make it worse so we kept things super private. It also reminded me of my teacher telling my class about me having Crohn’s you don’t announce other people’s medical information without proper consent 27 years and I’m still mad. I am seriously questioning if the hosts knew people would disagree and be mad but did it to get engagement announcing something that you weren’t even supposed to know is just awful behaviour.
I can’t tell if they rage baited people to comment because they all jumped to nta so fast. I’ve heard in other videos they also have takes which seem totally upside down.
@@SuperJust4girlsif his wife says it was ok then thats literally one of the only reasons anyone would think hes an asshole right out the way. Because while i would understand where he's coming from, the answer to your mother not respecting y'all's privacy is not to take away your wife's privacy bc u should allow her a little bit of agency in how she approaches this news and her trauma but thats no longer the problem bc she is furious with him. Its that hes too worried he was too mean to his mom. He should have been a lil meaner tbh and told her and his father to kick rocks.
My mom announced to folks that I was pregnant when I wanted it to be private until we made it to the “safe zone”. I was pissssssssed. Whether it goes to term or not, it’s a big brief of trust.
My mom did it with my nephew. Luckily I was watching her social media like a hawk and made her take it down. She was just so excited to tell her friends, and didn't think about how many people were also connected with other family members on Facebook. But it's a good cautionary tale about not telling grandparents until after the first trimester
Story 1: NTA. The thing that urks me is that he wanted to keep the news about having a child under wraps in the first place, now people know his wife is pregnant and he has to inform everyone that she is not pregnant anymore. One week after losing his child... To people who didn't need to know about this... There was no reason for the grandmother to post about it on social media and I'm glad others were scolding her for posting about it. None of this would of happened if she never posted anything. They could of grieved as a family but now their loss has to out in public. This is just the consequences of her actions...
I do agree with why they said he was an AH tho, since it would have been better to talk to the wife about it. Cuz while I get not wanting her to see the insensitive post, the fact they’re getting condolences they don’t want means the wife has to deal with it now too. I don’t blame him at all tho, when you’re angry you’re not thinking straight. And it’s an extremely valid thing to be pissed about
@@ma.2089the wife is getting condolences because of the grandmother posting about them having a child, if she didn't do that nobody would know. If the husband didn't reply that they had lost the baby all that would change is the mother would instead be getting congratulations on her now deceased baby.. the husband is not an asshole the grandmother 100% is.
@@ma.2089 Imagine if bc people didn't know they were getting congratulations instead? That'd be way worse and apparently he did consult in her beforehand
For the 1 story: he’s def not the asshole, the mom sorta forced his hand and it was probably best to say it publically bc other ppl already saw and can you imagine all ur family congratulating you on a pregnancy after you lost your baby??? Ofc they didn’t know but know everyone does. Idk I think he’s valid bc he lost his baby, the mom rlly just got embarrassed. And that’s her own fault. She shouldn’t have been posting about it after they explicitly told her not to. She broke their trust and made their situation worse by forcing them to bring it into the light like that. It would tear me up inside if I lost my baby, was grieving, and then woke up to people on Facebook congratulating me. The mom also just comes across as selfish bc it’s all about “HER grand baby” and how they should have “told HER” about losing them. And it’s not about the fact that they have every right to call her out, and that THEYRE the ones with the biggest loss here! They’re the ones whose trust was broken, they’re the ones who still need to grieve and come to terms, they’re even the ones who may have to return or give away things they bought for their baby. There’s so much here and I don’t like blaming one of the ppl grieving for reacting. The only way he’d be the asshole in my eyes is if his wife disagreed with him posting. And even then the mom would still be the bigger asshole. He’s still grieving too, it was his child too, he deserves some grace here.
Story 1: biggg NTA. I had a miscarriage and I was so distraught. I couldn’t think clearly for months and was completely heart broken. If the pregnancy had been announced publicly I would have welcomed my partner making a statement to address it.. because if people reached out to congratulate me, I just wouldn’t have been able to handle that. I think he did the right thing and protected his SO
My first 2 pregnancies I announced right away and had to go back and announce the loss too, it did nothing but open the door for rude people and make things 1000% Harder on me. He’s so not the AH
I agree. I had a miscarriage at 20 and not a lot of people knew I was pregnant, right before I hit 12 weeks I miscarried while getting on a cruise ship with my mom, aunt and sister. Had to be escorted off the ship, my family didn't even know. I was going to have my aunt help me tell my mom during the cruise. It was devastating
Story 2. The guy is has a problem with alcohol! Lying about drinking, how much, when, why, etc. are all things you check off when evaluating if you're an alcoholic. He had a DUI and always drives drunk. That's an addiction. I would be surprised if he's not drinking at home to "make up for" going out. He is putting himself and worse yet, other people in danger. This is NOT ok. He is not trying to save face he is lying to himself, not wanting to admit he has a problem.
This. He is definitely not limiting himself to animal abuse either. This screams sociopath or psychopath. He's calling them assholes because he's mad he got caught and he's using DARVO.
My ex got rid of the dogs he decided to get against my wishes as we had a toddler and getting two adult untrained dogs was a concern, because I trained them and they liked me.
6:12 story one he did absolutely nothing wrong, he already didn't want any condolences, he would of had to explain to everyone why they weren't pregnant anymore and would of had to do any of this if the mom would have just done what she was told.
Something I think y’all forgot or didn’t rlly touch was on with Story 2 is that the guy also always is drunk driving and that he ended up with a DUI out of state because of it. That’s also a major red flag imo and I can imagine she has had a lot of nights where she wonders if he’ll come home safely bc of that. If you’re still drunk driving and partying even on work trips or whatever that’s concerning in itself tbh. He def doesn’t want to be changed and the two don’t seem compatible in this aspect
Yes, thanks for bringing that point up! We didn’t really touch on that at all and it’s a big part of the post. Definitely agree with your opinion that they just shouldn’t be together..
Ima just add this, if you do not, and I repeat DO NOT own the animal yourself, as in you having spent all the years loving, caring, and owning this animal then you have NO RIGHT to take it and dump it because it doesn’t “fit your lifestyle and wants” the audacity these ppl have to remove someone else’s animal is insane.
Last story: per people are definitely a little crazy, but it sounds like there was a lot building up over time outside of the cat for her to snap on her stepdaughter and husband like that, and even then to just her THROWING the cat out alone warrants that kind of reaction - no one gets to come into a house that isn’t theirs and dictate how things go, like getting rid of the homeowner’s pet, I don’t care if she’s pregnant, find a different place to live if she needs to - I would have kicked the stepdaughter out too
It really sounds like someone met their breaking point. My own cat at some point escaped through a window at night. And jumped/fell off our balcony (there was also a flowerpot that fell down). I totally get the reaction honestly. 20 min of searching can feel like ages when you're not sure if they are okay or hurt. Throwing (gentally) is okay for a normal cat, but elderly cats can be so fragile.
It kind of feels like it was premeditated between the father and daughter, bc the father suggested they let the daughter and her bf have the house to themselves. And the dad admits to being on her side in terms of getting rid of the cat (not necessarily in method). Also I’m commenting before the update
Omg the one with the dog was unhinged. There is something seriously wrong with that man. I would file for divorce how the heck can you trust someone after that? That was a living creature! I would have an easier time forgiving him for cheating, and to be clear I wouldn’t do that easily at all.
The last one is so not the asshole it’s not even funny. She THREW the cat? That alone would have me going nuclear. I’m very protective of animals and people I care about. If someone threw my future pets? Me kicking them out would be the nicest option from me. Especially her being smug after? Her pregnancy would be the only thing stopping me from getting violent Fr
My dad was NOT a cat guy but my mom, brother and I are all cat people. We always had two cats and he would NEVER have done this. He has since been converted and is a big cat softie.
Story 1: NTA. Grandma was out of line. Now she's being scolded and is embarrassed like she should be. Hopefully she learned her lesson and stops making son's potential child about her solely being a grandma. I'm sure she's the MIL from h*ll. To me she was even out of line for asking them about a pregnancy before they were ready to announce.
For story one, the wife was in on the decision making as far as his comment on the moms post. From what I remember, the wife said something to the effect of if she were to be the one to respond, it would have been worse.
Can you imagine being that poor dog, thinking your owner had taken you on a trip to play outside, throws a frisbee, and when you turn around to bring it back, they’re driving off without you. And you’re just…alone. You can tell everything about a person by the way they treat animals. That husband ought to be left in a field alone.
Story 1. He was so NTA, dealing with that it’s a lot for a couple to handle. The grandma forced his hand. In this she shouldn’t have been posting anything online if the mother hasn’t even announced it to the rest of the family. So why even say anything.
For the last story : not to mention they left their house so that she could have alone time with her bf and you throw her cat outside like what type of psycho shit
It’s interesting that it was assumed that the wife didn’t know or agree as well. He’s NTA. It makes more sense and is less hurtful to say it once than to have every person in your life asking you about something that is no more. They are dealing with it in their own way. If anything, this helps them grieve easier. They don’t need to grieve in private while people speculate, if the incorrect information is public.
To story one... Even if he called her and she deleted the announcement, they would then still have to announce the miscarriage to other people who saw it before deleting. Assuming his mom has immediate family on her social media, the likelihood that interpersonal relationships intertwine are high. Can you image having an aunt suddey call you saying congratulations, and oh, by the way, why did your mom delete the announcement? Then, a few days later, a cousin. Etc and so forth just digging deeper wounds.
Story 1 is so NTA. They probably didn't want to announce the miscarriage *at all* but his mom took away that option by announcing the pregnancy after being asked not to. People tend to wait to announce pregnancies for good reason because miscarriage is so common in early pregnancy
#1 NTA: I had a misscarraige 3 years ago, we have a beautiful baby boy now, but I will NEVER stop thinking about our first baby. The grief of losing any baby, none the less, your FIRST baby.. its awful... with your MIL stealing the opportunity to announce your pregancy which should have been their choice would've been too much on top of it and I probably would've done the same thing or supported my partner if he did. I hope they're doing okay..
The cat story, like y'all said, it would be the total lack of remorse that got me there. Like if she had done it, and then felt bad and offered to help find it then i might buy the pregnancy brain excuse, but damn she stood by it, that's cold
In the first story, I really don’t like that the guest just assumed the husband didn’t already talk to his wife. Even if he didn’t, the grandma was dead ass wrong for even posting it in the first place. I personally don’t think the guy is at fault at all!
Story 1: NTA. I think people discredit men’s feelings on losing a child. Would you feel this way if the wife said it instead of the husband? Yes, I understand there is a difference because she also has the physical elements of a miscarriage, but again, he also lost a child and was caught completely off guard by his mother’s post when she was told not to say anything. I have personally gone through both a D&C and a natural miscarriage after years of trying to get pregnant. The heightened excitement I felt finding out I was finally pregnant was turned completely upside down into unbearable sadness. If someone else posted about my pregnancy before me (especially if I asked them not to) I would not only be infuriated, I would be embarrassed, depressed, saddened, hell insert additional negative emotions here. The grandmother is incredibly self-centered and isn’t thinking about her own son and DIL.
38:08 not only he left the dog and I wouldn’t trust him with it. I wouldn’t trust him with our child at that point. Like if he could do that to the dog what could he do to our child.
I once had roommates tell me wasn’t allowed to sit in the living room. I wasn’t having any wild behavior, they just said I couldn’t be in the living room every day.
when I was a kid one of my mothers boyfriends hated my dog and once when I was down the street with my mother at the store she owned/worked at and her bf got home, he claimed my dog RUSHed out by him to get outside and ran away. He didn't even call us. We only found out because my dog was smart enough to come to the store to find me. He was a tiny 10 pound min pin rat terrier mix who avoided my moms bf, nvm greeting him at the door to rush by him. I knew and know he did it on purpose hoping he would run away or get hit. To this day, if I saw that dude on the street I would be arrested. With a smile on my face. :)
lmfao!! This was prompted in response to the dog vid, the cat one was next and she is NOT the asshole. I've cut multiple people out of my life for my cats and would do so again. If someone did that to my cat, pregnant or not I would have a hard time not beating her pathetic ass for touching and harming my ELDERLY cat like that. Tf do you think you are?????
Telling anyone private medical information like a pregnancy without consent is awful the guy had every right to post the correction. I lost a friend when I had my first baby because he told people (who I had been bullied by) that I was just getting married because I was pregnant, he was told as one of the first so my trust was gone. He was young and dumb a grown woman should know better. I’m wondering if he could have said “mum I know you’re getting forgetful now you are getting old, at your age forgetting something as important as we were not telling people because it was too early then I’m worried about your mental health. That’s something hard to forget accidentally telling one I’d understand but forgetting and telling everyone is worrisome. Did you really forget we told you it was secret, forgetting something that big or did you just ignore us. Should I book a mental state exam”. I’ve not had great in law experience in case you couldn’t guess.
Story 2: I work in a detox facility and the boyfriend sounds like addict behavior to me. It sounds like she’s concerned for him plus also wants to hang out with him since they are together, which is fair. I agree it was cool of him to not go out as much per her request but the lying about his friends inviting him out is definitely addict behavior. She should try talking to him about it and getting him help if he needs it. But like Brandon said, someone’s not gonna change until they’re ready so all she can do is be supportive of getting him on the right path and doing what she can to work their relationship out. If that means breaking up, then it is what it is unfortunately.
Pets are literally permanent babies in families (since they can’t take care of themselves) how can you do that to creatures who literally can’t do anything
Story 1. For someone who has lost 2 babies within this last year, people who haven't lost babies don't understand the raw sadness, anger, and despair. People don't understand that for us we seem like the AH because we literally lost our future, but we gotta be nice. But others can say whatever.
yeah it was obvious from the title, its if hes the ashhole to his mom, not his wife, so you could assume his wife was ok and its more about the mom. common sense i guess
Story 1: When I was 11/12, my aunt got pregnant with twins. She has two older children around my age and they were so excited they told my older sister and I. My aunt panicked because she and the twin’s father didn’t want word getting to his older children and inevitably his ex-wife, so, she deployed her CHILDREN to lie to my sister and I about her miscarrying the twins. They’re in middle school now.
Story 1: NTA. I miscarried and have gone through this. I would have rather had it been a one time comment then having to tell people over and over again that I lost the baby. I was already feeling like crap like if I did something wrong or what I didn’t know. It’s awful. One and done so I don’t have to keep reliving the beginning of the grief each time with people.
For story three, I don’t know if they are the AH. They mentioned that the roommate is CONSTANTLY messing/breaking their stuff and they have tried to talk with them. On top of not asking OP if they could have friends stay over? That’s a terrible roommate and doesn’t deserve the couch for someone who doesn’t even live there 🤷🏼♀️
I agree. I can see why it feels crazy for someone to make the couch unusable by taking the cushions but so is letting someone sleep in it. I would want to know who is going to be there when I wake up and go to my living room, not just find someone there.
Technically they didn't tell the grandmother about the baby either, she figured it out. She went out telling people's business that she was specifically told not to say anything. Not only did she tell people she made a public FB post. He's NTA, but his mom is.
miscarriage story: NTA. He was reactive, but mom blasted personal information publicly, she might only learn with public shaming. Smh. When I was pregnant with my first, we told our parents and asked for them to please keep it a secret we don’t want to share just in case. Tell me how some lady comes up to my mom in the grocery store congratulating her on becoming a grandma. Traced it back to my dad. Thankfully everything turned out OK, but I was furious at my dad. If I had seen something posted online I would have definitely blasted that person online, as well.
The miscarriage one was nta. He didn’t say his wife said no. Women don’t tell until 12 weeks for this reason no grandma should post about it without consent ever. I lost 4 if a person guessed b4 I announced I would have been so pissed. Dads are all to speak about a loss she wasn’t supposed to say for the exact reason because it forced them into a position of people congratulating them when they are grieving. She told fb meaning all those people knew she had been pregnant going one by one telling everyone that saw would be hell quickest way to let those who found out not to bring it up is a reply. He is grieving and how they choose to grieve; publicly or privately was changed by that one post. Could he have done it kinder? Sure should he have to. Imagine being asked about a pregnancy by lots of people at school, shopping church having to explain every time then unfortunately because people don’t know how to reply they then say all the things they shouldn’t ie you can try again, it wasn’t meant to be. My first loss was not ok because of that then people who know about it get panicked about telling you they are expecting they think you will break down if you say baby. They walk on eggshells. It sucks. worse people avoid you because they are uncomfortable with grief. They didn’t want that Pandora’s box open so asked her to keep it private. Being so upset that you are blunt about telling others who weren’t meant to know is normal. Out of 4 traumatic losses the one that people knew about was awful and it was only revealed because I got really I’ll and needed surgery twice so it wasn’t easy to hide. The pregnancy that stuck my in-laws only knew about in the third trimester. People may say esh but he was mourning whilst she didn’t even accidentally tell or confided in one person she told everyone which even if it had gone great was still awful the parents may have gone through a lot and would have been looking forward to telling people. If she had slipped once ok but announcing it is a total ass move and his reaction was justified. If he had lied then ok but no. It’s like announcing an engagement the couple look forward to telling so much wrong. I know I’m not the only person telling you this I suppose being so sure when it will upset so many is good at getting engagement. None of you mentioned pregnancy loss either you haven’t faced that or it’s private and that’s your right which you wouldn’t be ok with people knowing. I have friends who lost friends because of miscarriage people avoided them because they felt uncomfortable there’s a reason people wait. This seems a just no! Mother in law post. The worst after my public loss of a planned pregnancy was my Father in law telling my husband to get a vasectomy behind my back. I’m 13 years out and still feel for that family.
Having had a miscarriage and wanting later pregnancies to be kept under wraps so I wouldn’t have to announce it all over again, the first person is absolutely not the AH and his mom absolutely is. Once she announced it, the only way to keep from getting a bunch of horrifically painful congratulations posts when you are grieving the loss of that baby was to announce to all who knew that it was over. Wife/mother of baby is not complaining, and when I had my miscarriage, I wouldn’t have, so don’t assume. When I did lose the baby, I wanted it announced to every last person anyone could tell so they would not come up excitedly asking me about my pregnancy and make me fall apart all over again. I would not have had to go through that with anyone but grandma if she had kept her damn mouth shut like she agreed to, so she is a major AH and he made the best of a horrific situation.
N.T.A And I don't know how he would even be an AH... They were having a private moment and she still went and did it despite being told not to... And in that time they lost their baby... Grandma would still post about the miscarriage if he told her... You think she feels shitty cause she's now getting consoled about her dead baby? Imagine while you are on the floor crying with your husband and people are congratulating you for the baby like a spectator sport when the athlete is dead 🤷🏿♂️ Hrm lets guess which hits harder The information NEEDED to get out and she ignored everything they said
On the first story, the dude is not the asshole. I literally had the same thing happen to us and we took the “higher road”. I messaged her privately she removed the post, but people still thought I was pregnant and still messaged me and it hurt to have to tell complete strangers over and over and over again that no, I actually miscarried. I don’t have the baby. No matter what route you take in this situation everyone has to deal with the hurt. But I would have rather received condolences than people coming up and congratulating me in person because they didn’t know my mother took the post down. Just another heart break. Btw I was able to have a baby and gave birth this last September. He’s 2 months old now.
It’s very common for people to wait until 12 weeks, or even 20 weeks, before publicly announcing their pregnancy. While the risk of loss isn’t gone by any means, you’re less in the danger zone by that point. Grandma’s personal excitement should have never given way to her respecting their desire to withhold public announcements. I’m inclined to look mercifully upon OP in story 1. He was in the throes of disorienting grief, which was being thrown inordinately in his face by his mother’s actions. A terrible lesson for her to learn.
My fav AITA podcast because it’s a group vs. individual. I like the talking out of different perspectives. Also love that you all discussed, on numerous occasions, that we have to take them at face value. Putting faith in the person posting the story. Hoping they are delivering all the facts and being truthful, however also talk about when you suspect poster may not fully telling the truth or giving all the facts. Thanks Ya’all!
Story 1 : NTA I had a pregnancy where a manager pulled me aside asking me if I was pregnant and in denial. It was unplanned but I actually had taken some pregnancy tests that said I was not pregnant. I was livid, both because I did not want to announce any pregnancy but also because I did not want to discuss any pregnancy or miscarriage. And I may not have wanted children but love children. I was going through a miscarriage as she was questioning me on this and I got tubal ligation soon after that
stop blaming ppl for their parents refusing to respect the wishes. not his fault in the slightest HE lost a child SHE is just selfish wanted congrats she didnt need. not blaming the father at all fuck ha feeling she didn’t respect the one wish they had.
First story: nta. You guys are thinking more about the mother more than him. Just because the baby wasn’t inside him doesn’t mean that he is not grieving. He is probably not able to express his thoughts because he is trying to support his wife. He most likely lost it. He lost a child too!! He snapped! If the wife responded instead of the husband no one would care. This is why men are starting to not care and not say anything. They are not allowed to feel and respond. Grandma’s the A big time. Husband is a grieving parent.
Story one I’m so confused how you guys are saying he’s the asshole for not responding to being betrayed respectfully. It was his baby, he was allowed to respond with anger, his baby is dead.
this podcast sometimes has opinions that are completely opposite to what the majority seems to think its the obvious normal correct opinion. no hate of course, i just always wondered who are the people in the minority in the comments, and here you get to see their faces and hear further on why they think so.
I have a theory you pho with the group answer people might like. You go against what people think and people will comment the hell out of it. I’m guilty I commented the miscarriage story irked me so me and lots of others commented.
The mother knew there would be back lash, if she said anything and she didn't respect their boundaries, he made it clear that that's what happened and publicly so she would get it through her head. Oh well. I had the opposite issue, with letting people know. We announced our last one because I was almost past the danger zone. I have had 5 pregnancies, and 4 of them were miscarriages and one beautiful child. The last one almost killed me, I hemorrhaged. My husband didn't tell his father and his paternal grandparents until 3 months after my recovery, I would have been 5 months along. All he could tell his dad was "yeah dad, it was pretty bad" even when they pushed for info.
Thank God for Maddie in the first story because I was about to literally unsubscribe with how much hate you are giving this guy who lost a child. If he did not correct it publicly then what would have happened if his wife had received congratulations messages while she's dealing with this grief just awful!
My older sister died of SIDS, she would be about 36 now. My mom only had her for about 2 months before she passed, and yet, her name is most of our passcodes, my mom added her to our Christmas tree, and she still talks about her. You never forget that pain.
Who announces somebody else's baby without asking? Most people keep it under wraps until the 2nd or 3rd trimester anyway because miscarriage is incredibly common
Last story: NTA. I have broken my brother's nose because I came home just as he threw my cat across the room and she hit her ribs against the TV stand. I was 10, my brother was 12 and I gave one Hell of an uppercut. He threw her because she jumped onto his desk. If I was in OP'S situation or the OP's situation of the second to last story, I wouldn't have been so kind to the guilty parties.
Story 1: NTA, valid point of gma spread incorrect information and having to correct it. Maybe should have had convo with the mom, but either way whether people reach out or u post it people will now find out you lost the baby because of gma. Nta, just trying to clean up her mess.
Story 1- how is he the asshole? First of all, it is his baby too and his grief, so he can say what he wants to. Second, the mom put the information out there - there are consequences. Third, can people stop telling us who have been through it how to grieve. Stop telling people how to process and not to post, it’s ridiculous. My mother in law told so many people. After we found out that there was no heartbeat we stopped at my husband’s store to stock up for a few days because we knew I wasn’t going to be able to function. My husband came back to the car where I stayed crying… people were congratulating him that he never told and he had to tell them, less than an hour after we found out…
Second story the guy is still being super shady. I wouldnt stay with himwithout a very frank conversation about lying about his friends being the ones who invite him out. What else might he be lying about... really not encouraging
I think the first one is NTA He told the mom to not say anything the first time and she did anyway. What makes ppl think she wouldn’t have said anything about the miscarriage as well
Watching this a year later but in the first story he is NTA. I just had a still birth recently and I would have been livid. I would not be checking with the narcissistic grandma first. She prematurely put it on the internet when she was specifically told not to and made herself look stupid. They needed to immediately address it before things got much worse. I’m sure they would have told her about the loss of THEIR baby in private if she hadn’t foolishly put herself in this predicament. The amount of additional pain that the mother and father would have felt with every congratulation call, text, or comment would have felt like another stab in the heart. Honestly the “grandmother” broke a boundary they set and if it were me I would have temporarily cut her off until we were ready to forgive her. This is one of the exact reasons people ask you not to say anything early on if you are in trusted to know early on.
2nd I would dump him. He is behaving super sketchy. I would never be with a guy that goes out drinking and driving. And out all hours? Probably cheating.
The dog story: yeah he wanted her to go to a "farm" alright, a farm upstate. Keep the dog but lose the husband. (But also he would totally have gotten away with it if he hadn't been an idiot about it)
He's definitely NTA. If you take away my right to announce my pregnancy, then you don't get to know right away that I lost MY child. So now I'm going to embarrass you for embarrassing me and hurt your feelings for unknowingly putting my grief on blast. Especially if I asked you not to tell anyone about MY pregnancy 🙄🙄🙄 BFFR old lady! I'm also someone who suffered from a stillborn loss and I still have people ask me about my daughter and then they look like they ate crow when I tell them I lost her.
I aborted a pair of twins, because my partner, and I couldn’t take care of them, and we don’t want children right now, and I know I’m still gonna think about them and what it would have been like to raise them. So I know that poor mom is reeling
Sandi’s take in the first story makes it seem like OPs feelings as a grieving parent matter less because he’s not the mother Story 2: OP sounds more upset about being lied to
first story dude isn’t the AH, but i think everyone sucks. his mother went against his wishes and request to NOT tell anyone about it. she literally went a step further and posted on social media were thousands of people could have seen it. and he 100% could have went about it a different way, but with the circumstances and in the moment i can understand why he did it. we don’t know how he felt, nor how his wife even feels about it.
Story 1: NTA. The grandma forced his hand. They were already grieving, she was the only one who knew, so initially they would only have to let her know. Then she blew it up on social media. There was no time. They didn't want condolences but I think it would be worse to get a bunch of CONGRATS
I had 4 losses and agree. She found out they didn’t even tell her yet. The one loss people knew about because I got super ill was the worst. People saying cliches others walking on eggshells some ghosting us. I know people who had stillbirths and people felt so worried about saying something wrong that they ghosted them. 13 years out and most people don’t know about the babies I lost they were past the 12 week mark to make it worse so we kept things super private. It also reminded me of my teacher telling my class about me having Crohn’s you don’t announce other people’s medical information without proper consent 27 years and I’m still mad. I am seriously questioning if the hosts knew people would disagree and be mad but did it to get engagement announcing something that you weren’t even supposed to know is just awful behaviour.
In the update he also clarified his wife okay'd his response
I can’t tell if they rage baited people to comment because they all jumped to nta so fast. I’ve heard in other videos they also have takes which seem totally upside down.
@@SuperJust4girlsif his wife says it was ok then thats literally one of the only reasons anyone would think hes an asshole right out the way. Because while i would understand where he's coming from, the answer to your mother not respecting y'all's privacy is not to take away your wife's privacy bc u should allow her a little bit of agency in how she approaches this news and her trauma but thats no longer the problem bc she is furious with him. Its that hes too worried he was too mean to his mom. He should have been a lil meaner tbh and told her and his father to kick rocks.
Agree!
All I have to say. I would be PISSED if my mom announced my pregnancy. Even if I didn't lose the baby
Oml RIGHT!!!
Yeah its not only ignoring their boundaries, but also taking away that huge moment from them and making their grief much worse.
My mom announced to folks that I was pregnant when I wanted it to be private until we made it to the “safe zone”. I was pissssssssed. Whether it goes to term or not, it’s a big brief of trust.
My mom did it with my nephew. Luckily I was watching her social media like a hawk and made her take it down. She was just so excited to tell her friends, and didn't think about how many people were also connected with other family members on Facebook. But it's a good cautionary tale about not telling grandparents until after the first trimester
Story 1: NTA.
The thing that urks me is that he wanted to keep the news about having a child under wraps in the first place, now people know his wife is pregnant and he has to inform everyone that she is not pregnant anymore.
One week after losing his child... To people who didn't need to know about this...
There was no reason for the grandmother to post about it on social media and I'm glad others were scolding her for posting about it. None of this would of happened if she never posted anything. They could of grieved as a family but now their loss has to out in public. This is just the consequences of her actions...
Explained so perfectly!
I do agree with why they said he was an AH tho, since it would have been better to talk to the wife about it. Cuz while I get not wanting her to see the insensitive post, the fact they’re getting condolences they don’t want means the wife has to deal with it now too.
I don’t blame him at all tho, when you’re angry you’re not thinking straight. And it’s an extremely valid thing to be pissed about
@@ma.2089the wife is getting condolences because of the grandmother posting about them having a child, if she didn't do that nobody would know. If the husband didn't reply that they had lost the baby all that would change is the mother would instead be getting congratulations on her now deceased baby.. the husband is not an asshole the grandmother 100% is.
@@ma.2089 Imagine if bc people didn't know they were getting congratulations instead? That'd be way worse and apparently he did consult in her beforehand
@ma.2089 They said an in update.The wife was okay with it so the husband was not the asshole
For the 1 story: he’s def not the asshole, the mom sorta forced his hand and it was probably best to say it publically bc other ppl already saw and can you imagine all ur family congratulating you on a pregnancy after you lost your baby???
Ofc they didn’t know but know everyone does. Idk I think he’s valid bc he lost his baby, the mom rlly just got embarrassed. And that’s her own fault. She shouldn’t have been posting about it after they explicitly told her not to. She broke their trust and made their situation worse by forcing them to bring it into the light like that. It would tear me up inside if I lost my baby, was grieving, and then woke up to people on Facebook congratulating me.
The mom also just comes across as selfish bc it’s all about “HER grand baby” and how they should have “told HER” about losing them. And it’s not about the fact that they have every right to call her out, and that THEYRE the ones with the biggest loss here!
They’re the ones whose trust was broken, they’re the ones who still need to grieve and come to terms,
they’re even the ones who may have to return or give away things they bought for their baby. There’s so much here and I don’t like blaming one of the ppl grieving for reacting. The only way he’d be the asshole in my eyes is if his wife disagreed with him posting. And even then the mom would still be the bigger asshole.
He’s still grieving too, it was his child too, he deserves some grace here.
Story 1: biggg NTA. I had a miscarriage and I was so distraught. I couldn’t think clearly for months and was completely heart broken. If the pregnancy had been announced publicly I would have welcomed my partner making a statement to address it.. because if people reached out to congratulate me, I just wouldn’t have been able to handle that. I think he did the right thing and protected his SO
My first 2 pregnancies I announced right away and had to go back and announce the loss too, it did nothing but open the door for rude people and make things 1000% Harder on me. He’s so not the AH
I agree. I had a miscarriage at 20 and not a lot of people knew I was pregnant, right before I hit 12 weeks I miscarried while getting on a cruise ship with my mom, aunt and sister. Had to be escorted off the ship, my family didn't even know. I was going to have my aunt help me tell my mom during the cruise. It was devastating
Story 2. The guy is has a problem with alcohol! Lying about drinking, how much, when, why, etc. are all things you check off when evaluating if you're an alcoholic. He had a DUI and always drives drunk. That's an addiction. I would be surprised if he's not drinking at home to "make up for" going out. He is putting himself and worse yet, other people in danger. This is NOT ok. He is not trying to save face he is lying to himself, not wanting to admit he has a problem.
The dog story…… not only are we getting divorced but I would be pressing animal cruelty charges.
Narcissists get jealous of animals
He sounds like he's at the highest point on the narcissist scale
This. He is definitely not limiting himself to animal abuse either. This screams sociopath or psychopath. He's calling them assholes because he's mad he got caught and he's using DARVO.
My ex got rid of the dogs he decided to get against my wishes as we had a toddler and getting two adult untrained dogs was a concern, because I trained them and they liked me.
6:12 story one he did absolutely nothing wrong, he already didn't want any condolences, he would of had to explain to everyone why they weren't pregnant anymore and would of had to do any of this if the mom would have just done what she was told.
Something I think y’all forgot or didn’t rlly touch was on with Story 2 is that the guy also always is drunk driving and that he ended up with a DUI out of state because of it. That’s also a major red flag imo and I can imagine she has had a lot of nights where she wonders if he’ll come home safely bc of that. If you’re still drunk driving and partying even on work trips or whatever that’s concerning in itself tbh. He def doesn’t want to be changed and the two don’t seem compatible in this aspect
Yes, thanks for bringing that point up! We didn’t really touch on that at all and it’s a big part of the post. Definitely agree with your opinion that they just shouldn’t be together..
FOR REAL i was so shocked they didn’t talk about it because for me that’s an immediate breakup
Ima just add this, if you do not, and I repeat DO NOT own the animal yourself, as in you having spent all the years loving, caring, and owning this animal then you have NO RIGHT to take it and dump it because it doesn’t “fit your lifestyle and wants” the audacity these ppl have to remove someone else’s animal is insane.
Last story: per people are definitely a little crazy, but it sounds like there was a lot building up over time outside of the cat for her to snap on her stepdaughter and husband like that, and even then to just her THROWING the cat out alone warrants that kind of reaction - no one gets to come into a house that isn’t theirs and dictate how things go, like getting rid of the homeowner’s pet, I don’t care if she’s pregnant, find a different place to live if she needs to - I would have kicked the stepdaughter out too
It's so beyond entitled.
It really sounds like someone met their breaking point. My own cat at some point escaped through a window at night. And jumped/fell off our balcony (there was also a flowerpot that fell down). I totally get the reaction honestly. 20 min of searching can feel like ages when you're not sure if they are okay or hurt. Throwing (gentally) is okay for a normal cat, but elderly cats can be so fragile.
It kind of feels like it was premeditated between the father and daughter, bc the father suggested they let the daughter and her bf have the house to themselves. And the dad admits to being on her side in terms of getting rid of the cat (not necessarily in method). Also I’m commenting before the update
Omg the one with the dog was unhinged. There is something seriously wrong with that man. I would file for divorce how the heck can you trust someone after that? That was a living creature! I would have an easier time forgiving him for cheating, and to be clear I wouldn’t do that easily at all.
It takes a certain kinda person to be cruel to animals.
The last one is so not the asshole it’s not even funny. She THREW the cat? That alone would have me going nuclear. I’m very protective of animals and people I care about. If someone threw my future pets? Me kicking them out would be the nicest option from me. Especially her being smug after? Her pregnancy would be the only thing stopping me from getting violent Fr
My dad was NOT a cat guy but my mom, brother and I are all cat people. We always had two cats and he would NEVER have done this. He has since been converted and is a big cat softie.
Yeah I mean there is a difference between not liking and animal cruelty.
Story 1: NTA. Grandma was out of line. Now she's being scolded and is embarrassed like she should be. Hopefully she learned her lesson and stops making son's potential child about her solely being a grandma. I'm sure she's the MIL from h*ll. To me she was even out of line for asking them about a pregnancy before they were ready to announce.
For story one, the wife was in on the decision making as far as his comment on the moms post. From what I remember, the wife said something to the effect of if she were to be the one to respond, it would have been worse.
Can you imagine being that poor dog, thinking your owner had taken you on a trip to play outside, throws a frisbee, and when you turn around to bring it back, they’re driving off without you. And you’re just…alone.
You can tell everything about a person by the way they treat animals. That husband ought to be left in a field alone.
Story 1. He was so NTA, dealing with that it’s a lot for a couple to handle. The grandma forced his hand. In this she shouldn’t have been posting anything online if the mother hasn’t even announced it to the rest of the family. So why even say anything.
For the last story : not to mention they left their house so that she could have alone time with her bf and you throw her cat outside like what type of psycho shit
It’s interesting that it was assumed that the wife didn’t know or agree as well. He’s NTA. It makes more sense and is less hurtful to say it once than to have every person in your life asking you about something that is no more. They are dealing with it in their own way. If anything, this helps them grieve easier. They don’t need to grieve in private while people speculate, if the incorrect information is public.
“Stupid dog, you made me look bad!” Didn’t get as good as a response as it should have! 😂😂😂😂 Made me LOL
To story one... Even if he called her and she deleted the announcement, they would then still have to announce the miscarriage to other people who saw it before deleting. Assuming his mom has immediate family on her social media, the likelihood that interpersonal relationships intertwine are high. Can you image having an aunt suddey call you saying congratulations, and oh, by the way, why did your mom delete the announcement? Then, a few days later, a cousin. Etc and so forth just digging deeper wounds.
Story 1 is so NTA. They probably didn't want to announce the miscarriage *at all* but his mom took away that option by announcing the pregnancy after being asked not to. People tend to wait to announce pregnancies for good reason because miscarriage is so common in early pregnancy
#1 NTA:
I had a misscarraige 3 years ago, we have a beautiful baby boy now, but I will NEVER stop thinking about our first baby. The grief of losing any baby, none the less, your FIRST baby.. its awful... with your MIL stealing the opportunity to announce your pregancy which should have been their choice would've been too much on top of it and I probably would've done the same thing or supported my partner if he did. I hope they're doing okay..
Last story: No... "throwing"... the cat. No. That b*tch goes. And yea, fiance can go too.
Last story: she's in the first trimester... girl can leave
The cat story, like y'all said, it would be the total lack of remorse that got me there. Like if she had done it, and then felt bad and offered to help find it then i might buy the pregnancy brain excuse, but damn she stood by it, that's cold
35:28 immediate divorce. I’m so serious. Absolutely done
In the first story, I really don’t like that the guest just assumed the husband didn’t already talk to his wife. Even if he didn’t, the grandma was dead ass wrong for even posting it in the first place. I personally don’t think the guy is at fault at all!
Story 1: NTA. I think people discredit men’s feelings on losing a child. Would you feel this way if the wife said it instead of the husband? Yes, I understand there is a difference because she also has the physical elements of a miscarriage, but again, he also lost a child and was caught completely off guard by his mother’s post when she was told not to say anything. I have personally gone through both a D&C and a natural miscarriage after years of trying to get pregnant. The heightened excitement I felt finding out I was finally pregnant was turned completely upside down into unbearable sadness. If someone else posted about my pregnancy before me (especially if I asked them not to) I would not only be infuriated, I would be embarrassed, depressed, saddened, hell insert additional negative emotions here. The grandmother is incredibly self-centered and isn’t thinking about her own son and DIL.
38:08 not only he left the dog and I wouldn’t trust him with it. I wouldn’t trust him with our child at that point. Like if he could do that to the dog what could he do to our child.
I once had roommates tell me wasn’t allowed to sit in the living room. I wasn’t having any wild behavior, they just said I couldn’t be in the living room every day.
Story 1: 10:50 talking about getting wife’s permission because of what she is going through. He also lost a baby his feelings matter too.
I said this the whole time!!! There was no consideration for his feelings!!
Story 1: sounds like he's dealt w/ mom overstepping boundaries before. Mom might be a narcissist & he's just done with her.
definitely found my new comfort podcast. everyone is so concise and gives such good takes, im excited for what’s to come for yall!!
when I was a kid one of my mothers boyfriends hated my dog and once when I was down the street with my mother at the store she owned/worked at and her bf got home, he claimed my dog RUSHed out by him to get outside and ran away. He didn't even call us. We only found out because my dog was smart enough to come to the store to find me. He was a tiny 10 pound min pin rat terrier mix who avoided my moms bf, nvm greeting him at the door to rush by him. I knew and know he did it on purpose hoping he would run away or get hit. To this day, if I saw that dude on the street I would be arrested. With a smile on my face. :)
lmfao!! This was prompted in response to the dog vid, the cat one was next and she is NOT the asshole. I've cut multiple people out of my life for my cats and would do so again. If someone did that to my cat, pregnant or not I would have a hard time not beating her pathetic ass for touching and harming my ELDERLY cat like that. Tf do you think you are?????
Justice for whiskey! Lmao great story to end on
2:03 thats so funny where Sam points during the black and white part🤣
Literally dying 😭
About the 1st story: that “grandma” would have made this whole pregnancy about her from the START. She needed a reality check and that what happened.
Telling anyone private medical information like a pregnancy without consent is awful the guy had every right to post the correction. I lost a friend when I had my first baby because he told people (who I had been bullied by) that I was just getting married because I was pregnant, he was told as one of the first so my trust was gone. He was young and dumb a grown woman should know better. I’m wondering if he could have said “mum I know you’re getting forgetful now you are getting old, at your age forgetting something as important as we were not telling people because it was too early then I’m worried about your mental health. That’s something hard to forget accidentally telling one I’d understand but forgetting and telling everyone is worrisome. Did you really forget we told you it was secret, forgetting something that big or did you just ignore us. Should I book a mental state exam”. I’ve not had great in law experience in case you couldn’t guess.
Story 2: I work in a detox facility and the boyfriend sounds like addict behavior to me. It sounds like she’s concerned for him plus also wants to hang out with him since they are together, which is fair. I agree it was cool of him to not go out as much per her request but the lying about his friends inviting him out is definitely addict behavior. She should try talking to him about it and getting him help if he needs it. But like Brandon said, someone’s not gonna change until they’re ready so all she can do is be supportive of getting him on the right path and doing what she can to work their relationship out. If that means breaking up, then it is what it is unfortunately.
Pets are literally permanent babies in families (since they can’t take care of themselves) how can you do that to creatures who literally can’t do anything
Story 1. For someone who has lost 2 babies within this last year, people who haven't lost babies don't understand the raw sadness, anger, and despair. People don't understand that for us we seem like the AH because we literally lost our future, but we gotta be nice. But others can say whatever.
In the first story he didn't do it without the wife permission. She agreed for him to post it.
yeah it was obvious from the title, its if hes the ashhole to his mom, not his wife, so you could assume his wife was ok and its more about the mom. common sense i guess
Story 1: When I was 11/12, my aunt got pregnant with twins. She has two older children around my age and they were so excited they told my older sister and I. My aunt panicked because she and the twin’s father didn’t want word getting to his older children and inevitably his ex-wife, so, she deployed her CHILDREN to lie to my sister and I about her miscarrying the twins. They’re in middle school now.
Story 1: NTA. I miscarried and have gone through this. I would have rather had it been a one time comment then having to tell people over and over again that I lost the baby. I was already feeling like crap like if I did something wrong or what I didn’t know. It’s awful. One and done so I don’t have to keep reliving the beginning of the grief each time with people.
For story three, I don’t know if they are the AH. They mentioned that the roommate is CONSTANTLY messing/breaking their stuff and they have tried to talk with them. On top of not asking OP if they could have friends stay over? That’s a terrible roommate and doesn’t deserve the couch for someone who doesn’t even live there 🤷🏼♀️
I agree. I can see why it feels crazy for someone to make the couch unusable by taking the cushions but so is letting someone sleep in it. I would want to know who is going to be there when I wake up and go to my living room, not just find someone there.
Technically they didn't tell the grandmother about the baby either, she figured it out. She went out telling people's business that she was specifically told not to say anything. Not only did she tell people she made a public FB post. He's NTA, but his mom is.
BRO. The Big Comfy Couch was a DEEP cut - totally forgot about that show and it came flooding back!!
miscarriage story: NTA. He was reactive, but mom blasted personal information publicly, she might only learn with public shaming. Smh. When I was pregnant with my first, we told our parents and asked for them to please keep it a secret we don’t want to share just in case. Tell me how some lady comes up to my mom in the grocery store congratulating her on becoming a grandma. Traced it back to my dad. Thankfully everything turned out OK, but I was furious at my dad. If I had seen something posted online I would have definitely blasted that person online, as well.
The miscarriage one was nta. He didn’t say his wife said no. Women don’t tell until 12 weeks for this reason no grandma should post about it without consent ever. I lost 4 if a person guessed b4 I announced I would have been so pissed. Dads are all to speak about a loss she wasn’t supposed to say for the exact reason because it forced them into a position of people congratulating them when they are grieving. She told fb meaning all those people knew she had been pregnant going one by one telling everyone that saw would be hell quickest way to let those who found out not to bring it up is a reply. He is grieving and how they choose to grieve; publicly or privately was changed by that one post. Could he have done it kinder? Sure should he have to. Imagine being asked about a pregnancy by lots of people at school, shopping church having to explain every time then unfortunately because people don’t know how to reply they then say all the things they shouldn’t ie you can try again, it wasn’t meant to be. My first loss was not ok because of that then people who know about it get panicked about telling you they are expecting they think you will break down if you say baby. They walk on eggshells. It sucks. worse people avoid you because they are uncomfortable with grief. They didn’t want that Pandora’s box open so asked her to keep it private. Being so upset that you are blunt about telling others who weren’t meant to know is normal. Out of 4 traumatic losses the one that people knew about was awful and it was only revealed because I got really I’ll and needed surgery twice so it wasn’t easy to hide. The pregnancy that stuck my in-laws only knew about in the third trimester. People may say esh but he was mourning whilst she didn’t even accidentally tell or confided in one person she told everyone which even if it had gone great was still awful the parents may have gone through a lot and would have been looking forward to telling people. If she had slipped once ok but announcing it is a total ass move and his reaction was justified. If he had lied then ok but no. It’s like announcing an engagement the couple look forward to telling so much wrong. I know I’m not the only person telling you this I suppose being so sure when it will upset so many is good at getting engagement. None of you mentioned pregnancy loss either you haven’t faced that or it’s private and that’s your right which you wouldn’t be ok with people knowing. I have friends who lost friends because of miscarriage people avoided them because they felt uncomfortable there’s a reason people wait. This seems a just no! Mother in law post. The worst after my public loss of a planned pregnancy was my Father in law telling my husband to get a vasectomy behind my back. I’m 13 years out and still feel for that family.
Having had a miscarriage and wanting later pregnancies to be kept under wraps so I wouldn’t have to announce it all over again, the first person is absolutely not the AH and his mom absolutely is. Once she announced it, the only way to keep from getting a bunch of horrifically painful congratulations posts when you are grieving the loss of that baby was to announce to all who knew that it was over. Wife/mother of baby is not complaining, and when I had my miscarriage, I wouldn’t have, so don’t assume. When I did lose the baby, I wanted it announced to every last person anyone could tell so they would not come up excitedly asking me about my pregnancy and make me fall apart all over again. I would not have had to go through that with anyone but grandma if she had kept her damn mouth shut like she agreed to, so she is a major AH and he made the best of a horrific situation.
The last story: I genuinely did not expect the dad to be a part of it
1st story: NTA.
N.T.A And I don't know how he would even be an AH... They were having a private moment and she still went and did it despite being told not to... And in that time they lost their baby... Grandma would still post about the miscarriage if he told her... You think she feels shitty cause she's now getting consoled about her dead baby? Imagine while you are on the floor crying with your husband and people are congratulating you for the baby like a spectator sport when the athlete is dead 🤷🏿♂️ Hrm lets guess which hits harder
The information NEEDED to get out and she ignored everything they said
On the first story, the dude is not the asshole. I literally had the same thing happen to us and we took the “higher road”. I messaged her privately she removed the post, but people still thought I was pregnant and still messaged me and it hurt to have to tell complete strangers over and over and over again that no, I actually miscarried. I don’t have the baby.
No matter what route you take in this situation everyone has to deal with the hurt. But I would have rather received condolences than people coming up and congratulating me in person because they didn’t know my mother took the post down. Just another heart break.
Btw I was able to have a baby and gave birth this last September. He’s 2 months old now.
It’s very common for people to wait until 12 weeks, or even 20 weeks, before publicly announcing their pregnancy. While the risk of loss isn’t gone by any means, you’re less in the danger zone by that point. Grandma’s personal excitement should have never given way to her respecting their desire to withhold public announcements.
I’m inclined to look mercifully upon OP in story 1. He was in the throes of disorienting grief, which was being thrown inordinately in his face by his mother’s actions.
A terrible lesson for her to learn.
i feel like this is the only podcast that doesn’t interrupt each other every 30 seconds
My fav AITA podcast because it’s a group vs. individual. I like the talking out of different perspectives. Also love that you all discussed, on numerous occasions, that we have to take them at face value. Putting faith in the person posting the story. Hoping they are delivering all the facts and being truthful, however also talk about when you suspect poster may not fully telling the truth or giving all the facts. Thanks Ya’all!
Story 1: 100% NTA, it would be so much worse to have to constantly hear people congratulate you about a pregnancy you already lost.
I found you guys on TikTok and I am obsessed. I am literally binge watching every episode. You guys are funny as hell 😂🫶
Story 1 : NTA I had a pregnancy where a manager pulled me aside asking me if I was pregnant and in denial. It was unplanned but I actually had taken some pregnancy tests that said I was not pregnant. I was livid, both because I did not want to announce any pregnancy but also because I did not want to discuss any pregnancy or miscarriage. And I may not have wanted children but love children. I was going through a miscarriage as she was questioning me on this and I got tubal ligation soon after that
stop blaming ppl for their parents refusing to respect the wishes. not his fault in the slightest HE lost a child SHE is just selfish wanted congrats she didnt need. not blaming the father at all fuck ha feeling she didn’t respect the one wish they had.
First story: nta. You guys are thinking more about the mother more than him. Just because the baby wasn’t inside him doesn’t mean that he is not grieving. He is probably not able to express his thoughts because he is trying to support his wife. He most likely lost it. He lost a child too!! He snapped! If the wife responded instead of the husband no one would care. This is why men are starting to not care and not say anything. They are not allowed to feel and respond. Grandma’s the A big time. Husband is a grieving parent.
Story one I’m so confused how you guys are saying he’s the asshole for not responding to being betrayed respectfully. It was his baby, he was allowed to respond with anger, his baby is dead.
this podcast sometimes has opinions that are completely opposite to what the majority seems to think its the obvious normal correct opinion. no hate of course, i just always wondered who are the people in the minority in the comments, and here you get to see their faces and hear further on why they think so.
I have a theory you pho with the group answer people might like. You go against what people think and people will comment the hell out of it. I’m guilty I commented the miscarriage story irked me so me and lots of others commented.
The mother knew there would be back lash, if she said anything and she didn't respect their boundaries, he made it clear that that's what happened and publicly so she would get it through her head. Oh well. I had the opposite issue, with letting people know. We announced our last one because I was almost past the danger zone.
I have had 5 pregnancies, and 4 of them were miscarriages and one beautiful child. The last one almost killed me, I hemorrhaged. My husband didn't tell his father and his paternal grandparents until 3 months after my recovery, I would have been 5 months along. All he could tell his dad was "yeah dad, it was pretty bad" even when they pushed for info.
The first story, the wife wasn't even mad. It was the mom and the moms husband??? So how is he the asshole in this situation
Thank God for Maddie in the first story because I was about to literally unsubscribe with how much hate you are giving this guy who lost a child. If he did not correct it publicly then what would have happened if his wife had received congratulations messages while she's dealing with this grief just awful!
Lol. Nobody has cushions on their couch where I live. I mean, some do, but they are not popular at all.
I LOVE THIS PODCAST I listen to you guys every day while I work (I’m a house cleaner), thank you for making me laugh every dayyy!!!
Ok, so I’m not the only one who understands story #1
My older sister died of SIDS, she would be about 36 now. My mom only had her for about 2 months before she passed, and yet, her name is most of our passcodes, my mom added her to our Christmas tree, and she still talks about her. You never forget that pain.
The dog story is literally from the movie strays with Will Ferrell and Jamie Foxx
NTA Mom should have respected their wish and not announced until they announced
Who announces somebody else's baby without asking? Most people keep it under wraps until the 2nd or 3rd trimester anyway because miscarriage is incredibly common
Last story: NTA. I have broken my brother's nose because I came home just as he threw my cat across the room and she hit her ribs against the TV stand. I was 10, my brother was 12 and I gave one Hell of an uppercut. He threw her because she jumped onto his desk. If I was in OP'S situation or the OP's situation of the second to last story, I wouldn't have been so kind to the guilty parties.
Story 1: NTA, valid point of gma spread incorrect information and having to correct it. Maybe should have had convo with the mom, but either way whether people reach out or u post it people will now find out you lost the baby because of gma. Nta, just trying to clean up her mess.
Ugh, story 1, that's exactly the reason most people wait to announce it till the second trimester. Damn mom was so wrong for that
1. NTA. The comment was a consequence of the grandmas actions.
Story 2; he sounds like an alcoholic. And drunk driving? That's really f-ing bad.
brandon's face at 45:16 was HILARIOUS!!!!
Story 1- how is he the asshole? First of all, it is his baby too and his grief, so he can say what he wants to. Second, the mom put the information out there - there are consequences. Third, can people stop telling us who have been through it how to grieve. Stop telling people how to process and not to post, it’s ridiculous.
My mother in law told so many people. After we found out that there was no heartbeat we stopped at my husband’s store to stock up for a few days because we knew I wasn’t going to be able to function. My husband came back to the car where I stayed crying… people were congratulating him that he never told and he had to tell them, less than an hour after we found out…
Second story the guy is still being super shady. I wouldnt stay with himwithout a very frank conversation about lying about his friends being the ones who invite him out. What else might he be lying about... really not encouraging
I think the first one is NTA
He told the mom to not say anything the first time and she did anyway. What makes ppl think she wouldn’t have said anything about the miscarriage as well
I’ll kick everyone out before someone touches my cats I would have lots my mind 🤣 NTA
Watching this a year later but in the first story he is NTA. I just had a still birth recently and I would have been livid. I would not be checking with the narcissistic grandma first. She prematurely put it on the internet when she was specifically told not to and made herself look stupid. They needed to immediately address it before things got much worse. I’m sure they would have told her about the loss of THEIR baby in private if she hadn’t foolishly put herself in this predicament. The amount of additional pain that the mother and father would have felt with every congratulation call, text, or comment would have felt like another stab in the heart. Honestly the “grandmother” broke a boundary they set and if it were me I would have temporarily cut her off until we were ready to forgive her. This is one of the exact reasons people ask you not to say anything early on if you are in trusted to know early on.
2:00 y'all are so heckin wholesome
2nd I would dump him. He is behaving super sketchy. I would never be with a guy that goes out drinking and driving. And out all hours? Probably cheating.
The dog story: yeah he wanted her to go to a "farm" alright, a farm upstate. Keep the dog but lose the husband. (But also he would totally have gotten away with it if he hadn't been an idiot about it)
Sam is my intrusive thoughts personified 😂
Great choice in stories! Loved the show
He's definitely NTA. If you take away my right to announce my pregnancy, then you don't get to know right away that I lost MY child. So now I'm going to embarrass you for embarrassing me and hurt your feelings for unknowingly putting my grief on blast. Especially if I asked you not to tell anyone about MY pregnancy 🙄🙄🙄 BFFR old lady! I'm also someone who suffered from a stillborn loss and I still have people ask me about my daughter and then they look like they ate crow when I tell them I lost her.
I aborted a pair of twins, because my partner, and I couldn’t take care of them, and we don’t want children right now, and I know I’m still gonna think about them and what it would have been like to raise them. So I know that poor mom is reeling
Sandi’s take in the first story makes it seem like OPs feelings as a grieving parent matter less because he’s not the mother
Story 2: OP sounds more upset about being lied to
Story 1 is such a bad take. Defiitely nta. Why is everyone assuming the wife did not agree with his actions?
You take my dog and let him loose divorce.
It's a red flag about him lying about who wanted to out but not a red flag about her going through his phone?
someone please tell me the episode that sadia falls off her chair
first story dude isn’t the AH, but i think everyone sucks. his mother went against his wishes and request to NOT tell anyone about it. she literally went a step further and posted on social media were thousands of people could have seen it. and he 100% could have went about it a different way, but with the circumstances and in the moment i can understand why he did it. we don’t know how he felt, nor how his wife even feels about it.