What I hate are the people that say that cliche "exercise, eat right, sleep" easy for you to say. It's a lot harder when you can't even find motivation to get out of bed.
Yes, it sure is. I wrote a letter to my family and friends (never send them, just cathartic to write out my thoughts. They cannot understand even though they all battle with it too.) about feeling like I had cancer of the mind.
How the fuck did this guy suffer from depression and achieve 3 master degrees + a PHD. My greatest achievement is just being able to get out of the bed everyday...
It really does, ive told numerous ppl that no physical exercise comes even remotely close to the mental torment, and I've been an athlete for most of my life.
ॐ Jordan Gould I can relate. My "friend" (who isn't a friend anymore) tried to walk me home or give me a ride everyday from school. Because I told her that when I cross the street I would feel as if I wanted to stop and wait for a car to come and take my life.
It doesn’t work like that. It might seems like you’re doing a favor, but no. No problems disappear by death. They either stay the same or transform themselves into other problems and get passed down to your family and community. Problems need to get resolved, or, get better. If they don’t get erased with the proper eraser, they don’t go away. I know it sounds a bit mean or stressing, but the best thing you could do is getting help and getting better. Talk to someone! You deserve to feel better. I repeat; YOU DESERVE TO FEEL BETTER. By looking for help, other people can help you to get rid of all those problems. Just... try to don’t see death as a solution, because it’s not.
Having depression while an introvert in school is the worst of all. The problem of family, money, and academics. Its all in your mind. Then you have no one in your back to tell your feelings. A feeling of constant isolation and social anxiety. Then you start questioning if you have worth in this world. If i die in my sleep, my fate have already accepted it
O. Rintarou if you have no one to talk to go online. If anything talk to parents or to a counselor. If you go to a church or something they most of the time have free counselors.
The most depressing part while struggling from depression is the guilt feeling or questioning urself why you are so depressed while others are happy with their lives....
LetThereBeLoud That's wonderful! Thanks for sharing that. His authenticity and humility will reverberate throughout the world... this person is a beacon helping others shine.
It's easy for the people that have never been through it or forgot how it feels to give these "simple" solutions. Nothing is simple when you're depressed
because you're basically saying "im happy that other people have dangerous thoughts and feelings" Of course, it's only nice to hear since you suffer with them yourself
I wish Sami was my dad, I feel like he truly understands the feelings of a sufferer. When I told my dad I had clinical depression 3 years ago he told me to stop making wild guesses. Even when he sees me crying everyday he would just call me pathetic. When I laid in bed absolutely lifeless and couldn't find energy to wash myself he'd be like you disgusting pig look at what you've become. And I quote him directly, he has told me I have mental deficiency, that he wants to adopt another child, that I'm a disgrace to the family, disgrace to my friends and peers. At the darkest of times when I had to reach out to fellow sufferers to find a sanctuary, he would call it wasting time and non productive. Everyday he would tell me 'but you have to do something' 'you have to change yourself', with that turning to verbal abuse when I couldn't even find the energy to answer him. I think that sufferers need someone to understand us more than they need a clueless person full of vitality to 'uplift' us.
I'm very sad for you that your dad is treating you like that. I believe in you and know what you're going through. just hang on and be good to yourself.
+amesakurako1 those people like your father are unfortunately way too grounded to the earth, they can't feel too deeply, have no empathy, and thus they frankly don't get "what the hell is she talking about". for them life's simple and clear, just like it is for wild animals or smth. too sad one can't find support among the closes relatives, too sad...
+amesakurako1 That suck , truly, I hope you're in better place now, my Dad while is not as unsympathetic, still the feeling of being not understood, hurts, when he asked me what's wrong, I stop making an effort to explain, just moodily replied I'm fine, rather to have this feeling than to explain and felt stupid for not being understood
+amesakurako1 he wasn t capable to raise a happy kid now he want to adopt another one.... funny. Well I dont know what will work for you but i will tell you what i would do in my place. I have been felling depresed for many years and what i m doing right now it s to little by little try to show my self that i m a worthy person, that i can be cared and apreciated by others. little by little i make plans with that pourpose. little thing like waking up early. waking up at a schedueled time in labor days. writing how to fight depression. looking at videos. looking for information. trying to track what worked for me and how to make it work. little little things like clean my bed, clean my self, clean my room, cook for others, grab a book of philosophy, read the book of philosophy, make a little bit excercise... for me those things are not easy things they are very hard and I have to concentrate a lot to do this. And I would suffer more if I dont do this. second. I m not a suffering champion but i suffer a lot. it hurts me. I am a marathonian of suffering and i suffer many hours per day. (even though I know there are Ironmans of suffering) with the same comperaisson i cant ask someone to run a suffering marathon to someone who doesnt even know waht runnig or suffering depression is and doesnt want to know or doesnt even know it exists or how it really works. So I would tell your father that you need help and whats he is doing is not helping. Dont expect he would help you. Dont expect no one would help you. (at least no one helped me). As i m writing I m realizing is not easy to help, if it would have been easy I would have find the solution decades ago. so we cant blame them for not finding any solutions. well hope this have helped. Or at least helped to say well I dont have to lose my time trying that. xD sorry for the wall post and for my english.
@@s.oliveira6795 it’s too hard to answer properly in this forum, because it’s a very long answer, but I’ll try. I take very good care of my physical health. No alcohol, no sugar no junk food etc. I go to bed early and get up early. I accept what I can’t change. I don’t watch or listen to anything that isn’t uplifting or educational in a positive sense. I exercise daily. I study the art of positivity. I live in the present, and don’t spend time dwelling on the past or fearing the future. There’s a very good book called Miracle Morning that describes a way to set up your day and approach life that helped me a lot.
@@keerthanas4813 it’s too hard to answer properly in this forum, because it’s a very long answer, but I’ll try. I take very good care of my physical health. No alcohol, no sugar no junk food etc. I go to bed early and get up early. I accept what I can’t change. I don’t watch or listen to anything that isn’t uplifting or educational in a positive sense. I exercise daily. I study the art of positivity. I live in the present, and don’t spend time dwelling on the past or fearing the future. There’s a very good book called Miracle Morning that describes a way to set up your day and approach life that helped me a lot.
This man is truly an experienced and very very gifted therapist. He used the feelings that he had felt throughout his life to be able to connect to the people who are suffering around him and boy it really made an impact on me. I hope someday to be able to help people with trauma to overcome pain, intense emotions, and suicide by understanding my trauma and my wishes/urges to end my life. To be an inspiration to those who have suffered and to guide them to a brighter future is truly "gods" work. I can't think of anything more important than what he does and what I hope to be able to do as I grow older. Thank you, Sami Moukkadem for such an encouraging and educational talk about dealing with trauma that we repress in ourselves.
I feel the exact way about him! He made me think about so many things... I do believe It's amazing to be able to help so many people, I'd love to be able to do that as well! This was such an inspiring talk!
I've tried so many defense mechanisms. While I'm stuck at work it is the worst. I've tried to become a zombie and cancel all thoughts and got into a car accident on the highway, cut open my leg on accident, dropped alot of items at work, and backed into my brother's car doing $3,000 of damage from being too absent minded. While it helped with anxiety and depression it made me less consciously aware of everything around me. It is hilarious thinking about it. But now that I've cleared my mind I feel I can filter out the thoughts as they come back but it is hard to know if it is just how much sleep I've had. Low sleep causes anxiety and anxiety stops sleep and forms a cycle. Depression is the icing on the cake but looking back at my childhood photos I have always been morbidly sad without even knowing about depression. I learned how to smile when I was 22 and had to cover my face when I smiled prior because it felt so strange and weird. Life is just too odd. comparing yourself to everyone else is a problem especially if you were born differently which I assume I was
I wont say I can understand your struggle Ive never even been drunk or used drugs to just have that short moment of not feeling the pain. Instead I have been afraid that if I started to drink I wouldnt want to stop I was soo terrified I would end up just like you( but I can say I could easly have been you) so for the longest time I also feared that first glass but for a different reason then you. I have mad respect for you, to everyday say to yourself to not take the easy option and give in to that first glass.
Wow. I always thought and hoped to get cancer or terminally ill so I can die without feeling bad about leaving my family. This guy was spot on with describing my feelings.
“The best analogy I can come up with for depression is that you are in the sea and the current pulls you. When the current pulls you, the common wisdom is that you don’t fight it because if you fight it you get exhausted and you drown. The wisdom is to surrender to it, wait for the current to spit you out and then you find your way back to the shore... When I say that the current pulls you down, it actually pulls you down to the bottom of the sea. This process can last from two days - up to a week. Walking, everything is okay or I’m not walking, I’m standing and suddenly there’s no energy. You don’t have much control over yourself anymore and then you find yourself on your knees. At the bottom of the sea is where I meet my monsters. And I would fight my monsters. And the more I fought, the bigger they got. Until with time, a lot of time, I learned to listen. And when I listened they became beautiful creatures. And they would hand me secrets. And they would point me towards the vulnerable bits of myself I had long forgotten.” Sami Moukaddem
“You lose parts of yourself and you forget they were there in the first place and you stop looking”. Yes. This all day. I’ve struggled to remember who I was and what I love about myself for so long.
As an ex-Soldier who suffers PTSD, depression, Anxiety and sleeping disorders, Sami's presentation got right into my soul correctly. He really understands. Blessings on you Sami. God Bless Lebanon and Ireland.
I am speechless... My whole life I wanted to put all my feelings into words and i could not, of course... This is exactly what I have searched for my whole life, a perfect explanation of how i feel, and I have to share this with everyone and tell them, "I have been unable to explain why I feel like this and I feel so frustrated when you would assume you knew how i felt. I now have found a speaker for me!" "Please, watch this video so you can understand me!" Thank you so much for sharing your life with everyone sir... You are an incredible person and this speech will change those suffering from deep depression because you can speak for us when it's so hard to speak at all. I cannot wait to share this! Thank you again sir! - Ryan
Ryan Nichols I am going through the same as well and this video explains it perfectly. I say the same thing too to people to watch the video so that they can understand how exactly I am feeling.
Mr Moukaddem's use of the stuffed animal to demonstrate what words do to people is brilliant! Everyone can feel discomfort just watching him kicking "the stuffed animal" because it is violent yet people do same violent acts to people with words especially on the internet. I have been trying to teach people how much words hurt, maybe I can try to show them using stuffed animals like he did.
God bless you.. I'll pray for you.. glad you don't have it anymore.. its beatable.. I beat it;) you need to see a funny depression video I made.. its called: Try Not To Laugh - wheres depression
+DaLegalEagle I just liked how he was talking about depression and approaching it in such a realistic way, as somebody who has been depressed for a few years I find it really great and helpful. That's all
I would be really curious to know how his depression and suicidal ideation lifted. I know there are times for me when I can no longer fight the battle and I just fall into a fetal position and yes, he is right... it's like a weight is pulling you down and people who do not suffer from a mental illness or depression don't realize that it's actually felt in the body. I wonder how he came out and I tried to find something more about this online or about him because he really is so inspirational to the mental health community. We need billboards in this country stating how many suicides will occur every 20 minutes in the world. People really need to be educated and people who have this illness should not be undermined by the negative judgements of others. It's just really hard and I know this from my own life experience. I think I need a big stuffed animal.
This guy deserves respect, coz he's not rampaging like other people who have such thought and aggressively accusing everyone around them not understanding, he talks about it (even as past experience) casually.
I have this saved and downloaded. Nothing has ever reflected the true feelings of going through this so perfectly. In my worst moments I watch this to this day. If he ever sees these comments let him know what he does saves lives❤️
On the days when I cannot find the strength to leave bed to shower, or eat, let alone leave and risk the harsh seeing eyes of the "others", on the days when my bed is both my prison and my cloistered cage, living with chronic physical and emotional illnesses (Cancer, Fibromyalgia, Depression, P.T.S.D.), I sob uncontrollably with the deep desperation and sadness of all that has transpired in my life (both known and unknown). It is on these days that I can't even find the "me" you alternately cradled in your arms or beat down in response to the shaming negativity others directed at you or the openness and acceptance they allowed which resulted in the hum of possibility, grounding you to the earth, welcoming you to a land where warm embraces grow like wild flowers and smiles shine through eyes of love. I want to find ME, even when it doesn't feel safe to BE. I want to always be in possession of mySelf; I shall keep looking for Me. Thank you for sharing, Beloved. I will not say I relate (how could one truly KNOW?), instead, I offer to you that your sharing resonates with me in the secreted places where language as we know it is not known nor needed as it is the heart that speaks with its' every beat. Namasté, Blessings and Be Well
Hope now you are getting better. I hope the same thing for myself also. Tell (Lie) to myself, hold on for another day, things will get better. What are these? Am I in the middle of the tests of God? What's kind of the tests are these?
He's right. It's not a mental illness. It's a wounding of the soul and no one gets this because they have never been through it. I had to take positive psychology and even ordered Oxytocin drops from Amazon, but it did not help and positive psychology made it feel worse.
Yeah that’s because it’s almost impossible to reason your way out of it. No matter how many intellectual battles you have with yourself, the conclusion will always be futility. That’s why doctors always resort to prescription drugs, because they know apathy and nihilism will always win the logic battle.
I have been depressed for a while. I went through some stuff when I was a young boy I had never told anyone until recently when I decided to speak to a professional. Add to that, adulting has made things worse. Being the breadwinner in an African family where 4 people are looking up to you to assist them with basic needs while surviving on a graduate trainee salary is hard. The worst though happened recently - I hurt my amazing girlfriend in a way I never imagined I would. I have no excuse for what I did, but it also hurts that my girlfriend doesn’t know half of the stuff I’ve been through. I hope talking to someone will help because I have a lot to live for.
Sami, you are a treasure. If you happen to read this, please know that we hope you'll be around for another 30 years...and another 30...and then some! Wishing you peace and joy...
I like to think of TED as a 21st Century camp fire. Around which would sit the elders, educating through the power of shared experience and storytelling. Nice example, thank you.
Amazing Ted talk...."The rejection of parts of yourself, and you stop wanting to be vulnerable because it hurts. You loose parts of yourself and you forget that they were there in the first place, and you stop looking for them." Brilliantly stated.....I never heard it quite described in this manner and it is spot on with long term sucidal depression.
I have been suffering from depression for quite a while. It's so true that people came to me and say to me: "why don't you just be happy", "It's okay. You will be fine...", "Stop listening to those depressing music" or when you act differently than others, they will be like:" That girl's just depressed..." Depression isn't something you can get rid of. You learn to live with it. You still have negative thoughts and even suicidal thoughts sometimes. You still cry. You still think life sucks. But life goes on. You become stronger each time you deal with all the shit but in the end you find the beauty deep inside of your mind and body and you find the meaning of life.
I can't tell you what suicide is like because I have not been successful yet. I just got out of the hospital from my 7th stay. Finally, I realize that loneliness drives mine. I don't tell anyone that because if someone is going to love me, I wish it to be real, and unfeigned. All I can do is to stay busy doing good.
I don't know you, I don't know what you look like, I don't know how old you are, what colour your hair is, what ethnicity you are and yet I love you. I feel connected to you through a simple sentence on a UA-cam video? You see? You're not alone, you're never alone.
You know.. sometimes I myself consider it, and for similar reasons. The girl I loved found other boys she liked more than me. The novelty had gone. She'd never admit it, we're "still friends" but you know, I felt so unworthy the whole way through because I believed in her so much more than myself, I actually agreed to break up. Because I felt wholeheartedly obliged to. Expected to. And all because I never believed. I am partially better now, but the days after we broke up, since I technically can't claim that she left me, I felt more alone than before I had met her. Because now my hope of a happy life with someone I can always love and trust is gone. I had two people in my life I really found an inspiration. People I can call friends. People who survived suicide attempts and said "not again." They are both dead now. One jumped. The other sliced her wrists and stayed on life support for a week. There were hashtags. Prayers. She was announced dead soon after it had been a week and half a day. Her boyfriend disappeared from all media. I never heard from him again. I have no birth marks, ugly scars or burns. I have a skin condition but that's all I can think of as far as reasoning goes, but I can never love the way I look. I can't. I'm thin and relatively healthy but I'm thin because I don't believe I deserve what makes you overweight. People in school laugh at the concept of people loving me. People ask me out as a joke, and it becomes the talk of the town. People who claim to love the way I look only do it out of sympathy. I know it. But like you, I don't want sympathy. I want understanding. Because sympathy is no bandage. Sympathy is a plaster or in the US band-aid to the mental wounds this inflicts. Plasters don't fix internal bleeding. Plasters don't fix stab wounds. Bandages begin to help. Understanding is my bandage. Help is my surgery. But it seems I'm a hemophiliac. Because my mind automatically rejects any help I recieve. I want to believe the kind words but I know that they could apply to more people than it doesn't apply to. This fear and rejection digs me deeper. Salts the wound. Tears off the stitches. Sticks and stones will break my bones, names will hurt, rejection locks me in an empty room with no windows, fear of help barricades the door, but what cut the phone lines was the fear of everyone else. I'm thirteen and I find myself saying "Just one more day." from time to time. I have an amount of hope but there are only so many times you can relight an ember before there's nothing left to light and the darkness takes you. The only reason I still breathe is because I don't know if I'm around the corner from the love of my life, or if I'm stuck in limbo. On the endless staircase illusion. It's an illusion of choice, but it confuses me so much I can't make a decision. Stay or go, live or die. Balancing act.
I can't tell you what to do with your life. Couldn't dream of it. But I can tell you this, you don't know death. And in my mind the chances of afterdeath being pleasant aren't high from my point of view. I don't know if it's worth risking, because it could be worse than anything I've ever felt or ever would have. Don't make a decision on impulse. If you do, think first.
+Dylan Wintle hey man, life is gorgeous. A lot of things are fucking terrible sure and it's not always plain sailing but...you're alive? You have the ability to think, feel, see, understand, grow, learn. You're incredible and special as a byproduct of just being alive. Try watching Neil DeGrasse Tyson - the most astounding fact. Much love man 💙
The greatest healing modality is love , Having someone "see you " really see you , hold you ,listen to you ,Transparent & totally Vulnerable .Radical self acceptance IS all we need
I've struggled with these invasive, intrusive and relentless thoughts of suicide for most of my life, and in those moments that I feel totally alone, totally defeated, and totally abandoned, I think of all the people whose world would completely implode if I acted on them. when I think of thier pain, caused by something so irreversible that I had done, I break down and cry, ball my eyes out until no tears remain. I don't cry because I'm defeated, I cry because in that moment I always realize that I'm in fact not alone, those people, my people, would have that pain because I'm a part of them, a part of thier world. even though I know these thoughts will return, the feeling of loneliness will return, and my own sense of failure will always be over my shoulder, it's those people that have been there all along, and that gives me just enough strength to get through it. love is there, it's with you all, sometimes it's but a small whisper that says so quietly, it will be better Tommorrow...
animals don't lie i feel like these people don’t love me though. All I’ve been is a walking disaster for most of my life. I never got close to any of them!
Life is tough. There is only one thing that can bring true joy. Worldly pleasures do not satisfy. Jesus understands and cares and has answers. He has the power to work out your current situations. It’s a relationship, not a church. Not a religion that will make a difference. He’s waiting for you to come to him and not to fear. All the sin in the world would not stop him from wanting to be with you, for he is God of forgiveness and mercy. He too had a very hard life, for he went through betrayals, torture and suffering before he died. Lay it all down on the cross and have him take the pain and torment from you, that you have carried for too long. You have a very real enemy that wants you to believe you are to blame. This is most certainly a lie, Jesus can clarify to you if you come to him with your broken heart. He wants to forgive you and give you a brand-new start in life. He is waiting for you and have nothing to fear and everything to rejoice over. Come home and you will get a fresh new start. Jesus wants you to dream of what you always wanted, and to know he makes dreams come true. He gives you dreams and helps you fulfill them. Jesus created you with dreams and talents for you to fulfill. And when you give your life to him, he begins to lead you in the ways you need to go find fulfillment. He writes straight with crooked lines, each and every person is an individual. Different. Unique from all others. And therefore, there is no canned assignment. Jesus doesn’t make cookie-cutter Christians. Each of you are SO unique, and the mission he gives you is to fulfill your deepest needs and desires.
I have depression, I've had it for 14 years. I get thru my days by ignoring it with a million half done projects. On the days I can't ignore it, I sleep. I love my kids and I own my deseas, keeping it a secret from them so that they might have a chance to the happynes that feels was taken from me.
Thank you for posting this. In 2014 I gave up and confessed to my boyfriend at the time that I wanted to die and explained how I truly believed everyone would be better off without the burden of me. I told him I knew they'd hurt but it'd be better in the long run. He didn't hold me or tell me sunny days are ahead. Instead he told me I was disgustingly selfish. That hurt a lot and made me want to go more. But I strapped on my helmet and trucked along. Now there is 2018. Lost my job, my home, my car died on Easter (today). It's hopeless. I want to go again ...but I can't. Others need me. So I fake Strength. I'm glad somebody understands. ✌️ ❤️
'Why am I still here? Why do I have to continue living and struggling when I can just end it all now, and be at peace?' For two years that question has been in my head, and for four years longer I wondered what the point of living even is. The way that I coped with depression which is no one should do is ignore it, pretend it does not exist, eventually though, if you ignore it, it will come back even worse. One the worst parts is feeling that is all my fault, that I would be doing the world a favour. Sometimes, though, I do find good things about living, and it cheers me up, only when really negative things happen does my depression come back. Remember, the most important thing is that you take care of yourself, not that you become what someone else wants you to be.
Five minutes and thirty seconds in and I'd already begun to drip tears... his mentioning wanting to have cancer is so relatable to me (except sometimes I just pray, asking God to just let me die). So much of this video is relatable. The way he speaks is so peaceful. He seems so honest and sincere, which somehow is reassuring. His analogies are wonderful, not in a dark way but in a relieving way ("SOMEONE can put into words what it feels like").
Coming from a former sufferer, here's a few guidelines 1) Make a to do list for your day, you can start off small, can be anything from (10 press ups, 10 sit ups, 20 squats) 2) No sugary treats 3) Listen to some ambient music, find a peaceful spot, think about everything you're grateful for 4) Eat an apple, a banana and a handful of grapes 5) Tidy your workspace or room, it may seem small but it's productive These are just a few things I started with and I've gone from suicidal to ecstatic YOU'VE GOT THIS
Thank you for this talk Sami, it’s so human and real. I have been suffering from depression on and off for many years now but never really dealt with it directly. Since my teenage daughter attempted suicide a few weeks ago, my depression pulled me down to the bottom of the sea as you describe it. After I went through the stages of shock, denial, guilt and self pity, I am beginning to try to understand depression, mine as well as my daughters’. Your talk feels like a first step to understand, a simple step that months of meetings with psychiatrists have not achieved.
This is just about the most REAL LIVE description of overwhelming depression I have seen and heard so far. Listening to this while having an episode and slightly intoxicated.
It'll be okay. You'll be okay. Just because you are not okay now, doesn't mean you won't be. I'm also not okay now, but I will be better. We will both be better. I believe it, and it would be wonderful if you could maybe believe it as well.
I've been depressed for as long as I can remember.I'm tired.my family doesn't believe there's such a thing as mental illness.I'm 22yrs old now and I've given up on living.I wish no one ever goes through this,nobody deserves this.
i felt as if i had no value ,that i lack proper communication skills with the opposite sex, that i was uneducated , i was heavily overweight. i smoked marlboro menthol until my throat and chest hurt daily for a decade. i started slowly changing my weakest flaws , obtained a g.e.d , i eventually stopped smoking and its been 4 years of success .i started running everyday until i could not take anymore. i did it for seven months. i had lost a third of my body weight and still maintain my weight. i made several great wonderful friends that i loved very deeply . despite all of these things the hardest thing ive ever excepted is that i still have no value, and will one day go to my grave with no value . that i am not a sexually attractive man despite my vastly improved health, that i will most likely never enjoy having children , and that somethings in life you can not change . everyday when i wake up i instead of looking for ways to change things that i can not change, i look in the mirror at my face every morning , get ready for work , get in my car and i pray like hell that i am alone and no one else feels as unwanted as i.
What it is so hard about depression is how to explain the feelings to others and not to feel understood. I still keep surviving but feel much better. There are many ways out of the depression and i'm sure everyone who suffers this can find its own way. Just as Sami did keep trying . Thank you for sharing the video.
I've never witnessed someone emanating with so much wisdom and love. It sounds cheesy but I can even feel it through the screen. I can only imagine the amount of labour behind all he'd shown. I wish I could be somehow like them, inspiring and educating people, in an alternate reality because I think I can't do it on this one.
You know it feels so good to see these comments and see people who are going through the same thing it's like this is my little family the others don't understand me and wonder why I'm so quiet and I tell them what's wrong and I start to cry but they say I'm weak and I look pathetic and I'm not a baby anymore . I didn't know crying was only for babies when I'm in need of help seriously and it jut sucks it really does I'm at the point where I'm accepting that I'm depressed and highly senestive and I may never change
Life is tough. There is only one thing that can bring true joy. Worldly pleasures do not satisfy. Jesus understands and cares and has answers. He has the power to work out your current situations. It’s a relationship, not a church. Not a religion that will make a difference. He’s waiting for you to come to him and not to fear. All the sin in the world would not stop him from wanting to be with you, for he is God of forgiveness and mercy. He too had a very hard life, for he went through betrayals, torture and suffering before he died. Lay it all down on the cross and have him take the pain and torment from you, that you have carried for too long. You have a very real enemy that wants you to believe you are to blame. This is most certainly a lie, Jesus can clarify to you if you come to him with your broken heart. He wants to forgive you and give you a brand-new start in life. He is waiting for you and have nothing to fear and everything to rejoice over. Come home and you will get a fresh new start. Jesus wants you to dream of what you always wanted, and to know he makes dreams come true. He gives you dreams and helps you fulfill them. Jesus created you with dreams and talents for you to fulfill. And when you give your life to him, he begins to lead you in the ways you need to go find fulfillment. He writes straight with crooked lines, each and every person is an individual. Different. Unique from all others. And therefore, there is no canned assignment. Jesus doesn’t make cookie-cutter Christians. Each of you are SO unique, and the mission he gives you is to fulfill your deepest needs and desires.
I stopped the video because I felt the urge to write to you, to say I'd like to run towards tou and hold you tight and cry, because I felt all the things you were talking about and I know how much it hurts, how it feels to be your own enemy and judge, how to feel pity and anger and sadness and disappointed by all the treatments that don't work and for people anda loved one's often unsolicited advices on "how to stop being depressed", and the feel of wishing the pain and the emptiness and the brokenness would be more tangible for others and yourself too, because sometimes you feel so so bad and you don't even knof if it's real anymore, you're so used to mental pain that you can't remember or allow yourself to hope another way of living or thinking is possible. Your speech was admirable.
i'm in uni. just three minutes into the video and all the doc was talking about here is like looking in a mirror for me. I barely did any work since the start of this semester and everyday i feel like it would be awesome if i sleep tonight woke up tomorrow and the world ends and i don't have to look at any part of this life anymore. I am definitely going to get psychological help tomorrow
I have suffered Depression for many years and I have taken many types of antidepressants for many years and am still always depressed no one understands except the ones who suffer from it God bless you all
I don't understand why it's wrong to choose to end our lives with dignity rather than live with horrific and excruciating mental and physical pain is considered giving up or something to be stopped? My life, my pain and most definitely my choice. Why doesn't someone make a great UA-cam video in support of those who had the courage to know when enough is enough???? I don't feel any need to continue with this horrific nonstop pain. Death is peace and can be the best choice for some people. For some of us life is nonstop torture and we just want to end our lives with dignity. But we have to do it alone because people always want to "save us"! I support the right of sufferers to decide to choose peace (death). This gentleman is really awesome but not everyone with severe depression and other issues want to spend their lives feeling like they are already dead. You can only fight so much before it becomes too exhausting! I do wish he helped someone who truly chooses life.
+Regina Bande Keep in mind that it's an illness. You have to know that with the appropriate help you can move on with a normal life. Have hope, once you hit the bottom, the only way is up. Fight depression and don't give up. Greetings from Argentina
+rodri q Thank you so much! I'm 52 years old and it's my misfortune that my illness has always been treatment resistant. Actually I've been on every med that exists since the age of 4 when I was put on phenobarbital. I exhibited signs and had problems from the 1st year of my life. So I've actually been to psychiatrists and therapists all my life. Believe me when I tell you that I've literally spent my 52 years fighting! Thank you for caring enough to send me your very positive comment! I'm so grateful for compassionate people like you! What you need to understand that when you've exhausted every available treatment but nothing works for my brain there comes a time when you become so tired that there is nothing left to fight for. I have 1 hope left. Moving back home to NYC. I'm stuck in horrible Florida right now. I truly believe that moving back home to NYC I will survive if I can't I choose to die. In FL I can't drive so I'm stuck in a house that feels like death in life.
+rodri q My situation is complicated by major brain surgery 2 years ago to remove a very large tumor. The surgery damaged one of the major nerves in the brain so I have been left with excruciating and horrific head and facial pain. There is no cure only minor pain management meds and surgery that may or may not work but if it works the results only last about 2 years. Basically I'm in constant physical nerve pain that will worsen as I get older and mental pain. I don't feel sorry for myself and I accept my pain. I was able to fight my mental pain in NYC but add the nerve damage pain and I do believe I can turn my pain by helping others. Since I'm not allowed to drive here in FL I can do anything at all. But in NYC I can go back to school and start a career where I can help the disenfranchised or others suffering like me. I cannot do that here. If I'm stuck here in FL I choose death and I'm truly okay with that. My pain, my life, my choice and I know I've fought hard! ❤ u Argentina!
The end was magical, hearing that white noise of humming which calms your mind and de-stresses when you know it comes from people who care about what Sami said. Because the ones who dont care - they didnt hum. God bless the ones who left the World because of depression.
This was a beautiful talk. You are a remarkable man. My life feels like it has been a nasty mistake. It's nice to not feel all alone in this, of course, but, way more than that, I want to wish you well, from the bottom of my heart. Thanks.
i swear if i found someone who is suicidal and wants to do it together i think i would actually do it sooner and be more decicive to do it, i dont know what will be but good luck to u all!
Robin Williams, a man I watched with my eyes wide open. Saw the pain in this man over 25-30 years ago. With a heavy heart, I told my husband, Robin will end his own life some day. Why I saw this in him I'm not sure why, I just did. Thank you for sharing your tragic but beautiful story. I write this from my darkened bedroom, that I've not left in years now. Only to go to the doctor. Nothing else. Something different is happening to me, I've been depressed since my early adulthood I'm now 56. I don't know where this is going. The current of the ocean is so strong. There is no ME left.
Describes me perfectly. I'm perpetually suicidal. Many many times hospitalized. Now I just live with it. I Totally Want Non-existence. Never to live again. Blessings to this man, who knows the person I am.
I live with suicide..it's like a little voice that lives in my head, all the time. I talk to it often and admit openly, I have learnt to accept my thinking as part of my life as an option not an action.
Dr. Moukaddem thank you for reaching out and connecting with us in this way, and bravely sharing your testimony. I live in a small town and the therapists here are still using the old textbooks when they were in college. Their definition of depression is very limited, outdated and not applicable. How is that going to help patients in need when their therapists don't even understand what they're going through? Your speech gave me hope as you nailed it with describing all of the horrible and weird symptoms that depression entails. Also people need to realize that there's a connection with depression and creative, artistic intuitive people. I believe people who suffer from depression have great gifts to offer this world, but their "depression" is trying to stop them from doing that. I look at my depression as an entity that is not me. I'm not going to let it get its way, although sometimes it does. But I continue to fight. Being educated about depression is one very powerful weapon.
What I hate are the people that say that cliche "exercise, eat right, sleep" easy for you to say. It's a lot harder when you can't even find motivation to get out of bed.
exactly
Exactly, but one thing I have found is that if you sleep enough once you actually got better, you are less likely to fall back into depression
Get IT J if you ever need someone to talk to, or someone to just listen to you, I’m here❤️ I know how much that can help
And it sucks when you exercise, eat right, and sleep and then end up getting depressed anyways
forget motivation, how about lacking strenght to get out of bed.
Depression is cancer of the soul, God I wish people could understand this
Basically, feels like my soul up and died.
This comment is underrated...
If you not been there you won't understand, but you can be sympathetic.
Yes, it sure is. I wrote a letter to my family and friends (never send them, just cathartic to write out my thoughts. They cannot understand even though they all battle with it too.) about feeling like I had cancer of the mind.
Just like cancer, peeps don't choose it. Dantallicas like you can't understand that.
How the fuck did this guy suffer from depression and achieve 3 master degrees + a PHD. My greatest achievement is just being able to get out of the bed everyday...
Pietro Aretino yes!
Pietro Aretino I can't relate because of that.
That's a great accomplishment for a lot of us
suffering from depression past 6 months hell is no where
I would like to create dark humor memes to help cope us with depression brothers and sisters.
"when you're depressed the weight of your body feels heavier"
This is incredibly accurate for me. I tend to feel it in my chest especially.
Wow
Maggie H yup i feel like i swallowed a boulder most of the time
My shoulders are so sunken
It really does, ive told numerous ppl that no physical exercise comes even remotely close to the mental torment, and I've been an athlete for most of my life.
Sometimes the only thing I look forward to in life is the fact that I'm going to die and my problems will die with me.
ॐ Jordan Gould I can relate. My "friend" (who isn't a friend anymore) tried to walk me home or give me a ride everyday from school. Because I told her that when I cross the street I would feel as if I wanted to stop and wait for a car to come and take my life.
+Ninja of Ni9ht there's a lot you can do to feel better. Get involved with exercise like running. It really helps to improve your moods.
I'm here for you.
It doesn’t work like that.
It might seems like you’re doing a favor, but no.
No problems disappear by death. They either stay the same or transform themselves into other problems and get passed down to your family and community. Problems need to get resolved, or, get better. If they don’t get erased with the proper eraser, they don’t go away. I know it sounds a bit mean or stressing, but the best thing you could do is getting help and getting better. Talk to someone! You deserve to feel better. I repeat; YOU DESERVE TO FEEL BETTER. By looking for help, other people can help you to get rid of all those problems. Just... try to don’t see death as a solution, because it’s not.
ॐ Jordan Gould, dude, I relate so much to this
I don't want to die. I just wish something would make me stop existing. Is that wrong? Is that strange?
Esther Sluijter I wish you could shut the fuck up and let that person alone
Justin George you're cool man.
It's not strange. You want something to make you not feel the things you do. I can relate. Stay strong!
Cloudy Hawk i appreciate you immensely.
+reggie watts Not really. If I had a button that I could press and painlessly end my existence I would.
Having depression while an introvert in school is the worst of all. The problem of family, money, and academics. Its all in your mind. Then you have no one in your back to tell your feelings. A feeling of constant isolation and social anxiety. Then you start questioning if you have worth in this world. If i die in my sleep, my fate have already accepted it
O. Rintarou Absolutely x
Damn relatable.
O. Rintarou same
Same right here.
O. Rintarou if you have no one to talk to go online. If anything talk to parents or to a counselor. If you go to a church or something they most of the time have free counselors.
"If you fight the current you become exhausted and drown" This
The most depressing part while struggling from depression is the guilt feeling or questioning urself why you are so depressed while others are happy with their lives....
@Heartslove 3 pls pray for me..
My heart goes to all of us who have found this talk while contemplating suicide. Hang in there. It's really hard, but please hang in there.
"Trauma is a negative, overwhelming experience that got frozen in your body. The tears is just the ice melting."
Wow.
I know it sounds dumb, but I think this man has changed my life.
LetThereBeLoud That's wonderful! Thanks for sharing that. His authenticity and humility will reverberate throughout the world... this person is a beacon helping others shine.
LetThereBeLoud that doesn't sound dumb at all :)
LetThereBeLoud Not at all man. Me too.
+LetThereBeLoud I was thinking the same thing its not dumb.
+LetThereBeLoud No it is not dumb. I wish my brother had listened to this months ago : - (
It's easy for the people that have never been through it or forgot how it feels to give these "simple" solutions. Nothing is simple when you're depressed
It may be an awfull thing to say, but Im happy to hear that Im not alone
+Jonas Grindahl why would it be an awful thing to say?
because you're basically saying "im happy that other people have dangerous thoughts and feelings"
Of course, it's only nice to hear since you suffer with them yourself
am in such a situation......never give up..you not alone
I thought I was at first but I'm not , your not , no one is
Sometimes im asking if people in this top coments are still alive today... their thoughts are heartbreaking.. no one deserve this.
The fact they've been able to put their comments their increases the chances they are.
@@doublechindoge7 I don't think so ;)
My exact thinking…
How many of the people commenting dark thoughts, are still alive today?
@@doublechindoge7 ...no ..you're wrong .
“You lose parts of yourself and you forget they were there in the first place, and you stop looking for them.”
So true.
I wish Sami was my dad, I feel like he truly understands the feelings of a sufferer. When I told my dad I had clinical depression 3 years ago he told me to stop making wild guesses. Even when he sees me crying everyday he would just call me pathetic. When I laid in bed absolutely lifeless and couldn't find energy to wash myself he'd be like you disgusting pig look at what you've become. And I quote him directly, he has told me I have mental deficiency, that he wants to adopt another child, that I'm a disgrace to the family, disgrace to my friends and peers. At the darkest of times when I had to reach out to fellow sufferers to find a sanctuary, he would call it wasting time and non productive. Everyday he would tell me 'but you have to do something' 'you have to change yourself', with that turning to verbal abuse when I couldn't even find the energy to answer him. I think that sufferers need someone to understand us more than they need a clueless person full of vitality to 'uplift' us.
I'm very sad for you that your dad is treating you like that.
I believe in you and know what you're going through. just hang on and be good to yourself.
That is terrible
+amesakurako1 those people like your father are unfortunately way too grounded to the earth, they can't feel too deeply, have no empathy, and thus they frankly don't get "what the hell is she talking about". for them life's simple and clear, just like it is for wild animals or smth.
too sad one can't find support among the closes relatives, too sad...
+amesakurako1 That suck , truly, I hope you're in better place now, my Dad while is not as unsympathetic, still the feeling of being not understood, hurts, when he asked me what's wrong, I stop making an effort to explain, just moodily replied I'm fine, rather to have this feeling than to explain and felt stupid for not being understood
+amesakurako1 he wasn t capable to raise a happy kid now he want to adopt another one.... funny. Well I dont know what will work for you but i will tell you what i would do in my place. I have been felling depresed for many years and what i m doing right now it s to little by little try to show my self that i m a worthy person, that i can be cared and apreciated by others. little by little i make plans with that pourpose. little thing like waking up early. waking up at a schedueled time in labor days. writing how to fight depression. looking at videos. looking for information. trying to track what worked for me and how to make it work. little little things like clean my bed, clean my self, clean my room, cook for others, grab a book of philosophy, read the book of philosophy, make a little bit excercise... for me those things are not easy things they are very hard and I have to concentrate a lot to do this. And I would suffer more if I dont do this. second. I m not a suffering champion but i suffer a lot. it hurts me. I am a marathonian of suffering and i suffer many hours per day. (even though I know there are Ironmans of suffering) with the same comperaisson i cant ask someone to run a suffering marathon to someone who doesnt even know waht runnig or suffering depression is and doesnt want to know or doesnt even know it exists or how it really works. So I would tell your father that you need help and whats he is doing is not helping. Dont expect he would help you. Dont expect no one would help you. (at least no one helped me). As i m writing I m realizing is not easy to help, if it would have been easy I would have find the solution decades ago. so we cant blame them for not finding any solutions.
well hope this have helped. Or at least helped to say well I dont have to lose my time trying that. xD sorry for the wall post and for my english.
I am 67 and have been fighting this for more than 50 years. It’s very difficult. I am shocked at how many people feel the same way. It’s terrible
50yrs!! how did you do it? I am already so done, am 28
I wanted to know how stop your suicidal tendency
I wanted to know how stop your suicidal tendency
@@s.oliveira6795 it’s too hard to answer properly in this forum, because it’s a very long answer, but I’ll try. I take very good care of my physical health. No alcohol, no sugar no junk food etc. I go to bed early and get up early. I accept what I can’t change. I don’t watch or listen to anything that isn’t uplifting or educational in a positive sense. I exercise daily. I study the art of positivity. I live in the present, and don’t spend time dwelling on the past or fearing the future. There’s a very good book called Miracle Morning that describes a way to set up your day and approach life that helped me a lot.
@@keerthanas4813 it’s too hard to answer properly in this forum, because it’s a very long answer, but I’ll try. I take very good care of my physical health. No alcohol, no sugar no junk food etc. I go to bed early and get up early. I accept what I can’t change. I don’t watch or listen to anything that isn’t uplifting or educational in a positive sense. I exercise daily. I study the art of positivity. I live in the present, and don’t spend time dwelling on the past or fearing the future. There’s a very good book called Miracle Morning that describes a way to set up your day and approach life that helped me a lot.
I'm afraid to die but i don't wanna live
shreena aa How are you doing now dear?
Ditto
Rhian Jaques Hi Rhian. If you wanna talk about it send me a message on WhatsApp +55 21 96587-4474 my name is Bruno
shreena it’s the bodie’s reflexes
@@abdallahaddad620 so I managed to get help and I'm on meds right now. The urge is still there but it's manageable(?). Thank you for asking ❤
This man is truly an experienced and very very gifted therapist. He used the feelings that he had felt throughout his life to be able to connect to the people who are suffering around him and boy it really made an impact on me. I hope someday to be able to help people with trauma to overcome pain, intense emotions, and suicide by understanding my trauma and my wishes/urges to end my life. To be an inspiration to those who have suffered and to guide them to a brighter future is truly "gods" work. I can't think of anything more important than what he does and what I hope to be able to do as I grow older. Thank you, Sami Moukkadem for such an encouraging and educational talk about dealing with trauma that we repress in ourselves.
I feel the exact way about him! He made me think about so many things... I do believe It's amazing to be able to help so many people, I'd love to be able to do that as well! This was such an inspiring talk!
Yes you will.
oh and he's not even a therapist, he is a Lebanese filmmaker
please try Bach Flower remedies Rescue
I fight it every day. every day. like a hard core alcoholic who has to fight every day not to drink
I've tried so many defense mechanisms. While I'm stuck at work it is the worst. I've tried to become a zombie and cancel all thoughts and got into a car accident on the highway, cut open my leg on accident, dropped alot of items at work, and backed into my brother's car doing $3,000 of damage from being too absent minded. While it helped with anxiety and depression it made me less consciously aware of everything around me. It is hilarious thinking about it. But now that I've cleared my mind I feel I can filter out the thoughts as they come back but it is hard to know if it is just how much sleep I've had. Low sleep causes anxiety and anxiety stops sleep and forms a cycle. Depression is the icing on the cake but looking back at my childhood photos I have always been morbidly sad without even knowing about depression. I learned how to smile when I was 22 and had to cover my face when I smiled prior because it felt so strange and weird. Life is just too odd. comparing yourself to everyone else is a problem especially if you were born differently which I assume I was
I wont say I can understand your struggle Ive never even been drunk or used drugs to just have that short moment of not feeling the pain. Instead I have been afraid that if I started to drink I wouldnt want to stop I was soo terrified I would end up just like you( but I can say I could easly have been you) so for the longest time I also feared that first glass but for a different reason then you. I have mad respect for you, to everyday say to yourself to not take the easy option and give in to that first glass.
I’m fighting it too bud
hugging my giant stuffed giraffe while crying and watching this
Indigo Quashie. got my turtle
I have my dog
I have my cat
Got my polar bear
I have no one.
Wow. I always thought and hoped to get cancer or terminally ill so I can die without feeling bad about leaving my family. This guy was spot on with describing my feelings.
me too
Yes I pray and thank God in advance for giving me cancer
I have thought exactly the same things as you cancer to end everything but these youtube videos are doing me the world of good
👋🙋♀️👋💯
“The best analogy I can come up with for depression is that you are in the sea and the current pulls you. When the current pulls you, the common wisdom is that you don’t fight it because if you fight it you get exhausted and you drown. The wisdom is to surrender to it, wait for the current to spit you out and then you find your way back to the shore... When I say that the current pulls you down, it actually pulls you down to the bottom of the sea.
This process can last from two days - up to a week. Walking, everything is okay or I’m not walking, I’m standing and suddenly there’s no energy. You don’t have much control over yourself anymore and then you find yourself on your knees. At the bottom of the sea is where I meet my monsters. And I would fight my monsters. And the more I fought, the bigger they got. Until with time, a lot of time, I learned to listen. And when I listened they became beautiful creatures. And they would hand me secrets. And they would point me towards the vulnerable bits of myself I had long forgotten.” Sami Moukaddem
key word: surrender
"Depression, It is not temporary sadness, it is just temporary happiness"
“You lose parts of yourself and you forget they were there in the first place and you stop looking”. Yes. This all day. I’ve struggled to remember who I was and what I love about myself for so long.
😢😢😢 I was speechless for couple of minutes when I listened to that ;) I realized i don't even remember how I look ;(((
Even the negative voices sometimes is a compassionate voice that has lost its way. I felt that....
Why must I feel so sad when I have everything to be happy?
Even celebrities suffer with depression
I want to die peacefully,my whole life has been everything except peaceful.
I want my final moments to be peaceful.
That's all.
I burst into tears when he hugged the reindeer and it took me solid fifteen minutes after he finished his speech to write down a comment.
As an ex-Soldier who suffers PTSD, depression, Anxiety and sleeping disorders, Sami's presentation got right into my soul correctly. He really understands. Blessings on you Sami. God Bless Lebanon and Ireland.
Thank you for your sacrifices.
Thank you for your service my fellow Veteran. I hope you are still here. I am trying to stay here.
This saved my life once.
It keeps doing that.
Thank you.
I am speechless... My whole life I wanted to put all my feelings into words and i could not, of course... This is exactly what I have searched for my whole life, a perfect explanation of how i feel, and I have to share this with everyone and tell them, "I have been unable to explain why I feel like this and I feel so frustrated when you would assume you knew how i felt. I now have found a speaker for me!" "Please, watch this video so you can understand me!"
Thank you so much for sharing your life with everyone sir... You are an incredible person and this speech will change those suffering from deep depression because you can speak for us when it's so hard to speak at all. I cannot wait to share this! Thank you again sir! - Ryan
Ryan Nichols I am going through the same as well and this video explains it perfectly. I say the same thing too to people to watch the video so that they can understand how exactly I am feeling.
please try bach flower remedies Rescue
Thank you Ryan. I feel this way too. How are you?
Mr Moukaddem's use of the stuffed animal to demonstrate what words do to people is brilliant! Everyone can feel discomfort just watching him kicking "the stuffed animal" because it is violent yet people do same violent acts to people with words especially on the internet. I have been trying to teach people how much words hurt, maybe I can try to show them using stuffed animals like he did.
Chiyo Benigno good idea, yes this man has many good, practical ideas to share about how to connect people with what's important.
Try anything & everything. ... Will be thinking of you. ✌💘
You ,guys, need to see a funny depression video I made.. its called: Try Not To Laugh - wheres depression
This man just saved my life. Thank you so much
LadenStone729 :)
You take care brother. 💜
God bless you.. I'll pray for you.. glad you don't have it anymore.. its beatable.. I beat it;) you need to see a funny depression video I made.. its called: Try Not To Laugh - wheres depression
I’m happy for you. And jealous. I’m not there.
I cried through this whole thing.
Me too. How are you these days?
I feel so much gratitude towards him, he's a beautiful man hope nobody feels this way ever
+Twiggy Del Rey I am aware that it was not your intention with your comment, but it sounds blindly optimistic.
+DaLegalEagle I just liked how he was talking about depression and approaching it in such a realistic way, as somebody who has been depressed for a few years I find it really great and helpful. That's all
+twiggy del rey i
more people than you think feel like this
I would be really curious to know how his depression and suicidal ideation lifted. I know there are times for me when I can no longer fight the battle and I just fall into a fetal position and yes, he is right... it's like a weight is pulling you down and people who do not suffer from a mental illness or depression don't realize that it's actually felt in the body. I wonder how he came out and I tried to find something more about this online or about him because he really is so inspirational to the mental health community. We need billboards in this country stating how many suicides will occur every 20 minutes in the world. People really need to be educated and people who have this illness should not be undermined by the negative judgements of others. It's just really hard and I know this from my own life experience. I think I need a big stuffed animal.
It's getting harder to survive...
This guy deserves respect, coz he's not rampaging like other people who have such thought and aggressively accusing everyone around them not understanding, he talks about it (even as past experience) casually.
The very last part watching it I could not hold my tears.
Mohan7 o
I have this saved and downloaded. Nothing has ever reflected the true feelings of going through this so perfectly. In my worst moments I watch this to this day. If he ever sees these comments let him know what he does saves lives❤️
Thank you Michelle. Noted. And it makes a world of a difference for letting me know...
On the days when I cannot find the strength to leave bed to shower, or eat, let alone leave and risk the harsh seeing eyes of the "others", on the days when my bed is both my prison and my cloistered cage, living with chronic physical and emotional illnesses (Cancer, Fibromyalgia, Depression, P.T.S.D.), I sob uncontrollably with the deep desperation and sadness of all that has transpired in my life (both known and unknown).
It is on these days that I can't even find the "me" you alternately cradled in your arms or beat down in response to the shaming negativity others directed at you or the openness and acceptance they allowed which resulted in the hum of possibility, grounding you to the earth, welcoming you to a land where warm embraces grow like wild flowers and smiles shine through eyes of love.
I want to find ME, even when it doesn't feel safe to BE. I want to always be in possession of mySelf; I shall keep looking for Me.
Thank you for sharing, Beloved. I will not say I relate (how could one truly KNOW?), instead, I offer to you that your sharing resonates with me in the secreted places where language as we know it is not known nor needed as it is the heart that speaks with its' every beat.
Namasté, Blessings and Be Well
Shedonista Shamanatrix You write amazingly dude
Hope now you are getting better. I hope the same thing for myself also. Tell (Lie) to myself, hold on for another day, things will get better. What are these? Am I in the middle of the tests of God? What's kind of the tests are these?
good
OmerLgl : Thank you so much! 💜 I just now saw this and it warms my heart, made my day!
ULIT JAIDEE : I intend that you are better and reaching peacefulness and joy! 💜🌈
He's right. It's not a mental illness. It's a wounding of the soul and no one gets this because they have never been through it. I had to take positive psychology and even ordered Oxytocin drops from Amazon, but it did not help and positive psychology made it feel worse.
Yeah that’s because it’s almost impossible to reason your way out of it. No matter how many intellectual battles you have with yourself, the conclusion will always be futility. That’s why doctors always resort to prescription drugs, because they know apathy and nihilism will always win the logic battle.
I know its been a long time but I hope you are still alive
this made me feel less fucking alone
^^^^^^^^^^^
Thank you. I was in the dark place tonight. Your sharing and vulnerability helped.
Hope you're doing a bit better... Godspeed. ✌ 💘 🎶
Julie Jeatran turn the light on then!!!
I have been depressed for a while. I went through some stuff when I was a young boy I had never told anyone until recently when I decided to speak to a professional. Add to that, adulting has made things worse. Being the breadwinner in an African family where 4 people are looking up to you to assist them with basic needs while surviving on a graduate trainee salary is hard. The worst though happened recently - I hurt my amazing girlfriend in a way I never imagined I would. I have no excuse for what I did, but it also hurts that my girlfriend doesn’t know half of the stuff I’ve been through. I hope talking to someone will help because I have a lot to live for.
Sami, you are a treasure. If you happen to read this, please know that we hope you'll be around for another 30 years...and another 30...and then some! Wishing you peace and joy...
I like to think of TED as a 21st Century camp fire. Around which would sit the elders, educating through the power of shared experience and storytelling. Nice example, thank you.
"a physical ailment, and an illness of the soul and the psyche"
superbly said. much agreed.
He is so right. Sometimes the best thing is to stay in bed, in the dark, like with a migraine - lowering stimulus
I'm at the bottom of the ocean right now, trying to stop fighting and listen.
I'm here to help
Amazing Ted talk...."The rejection of parts of yourself, and you stop wanting to be vulnerable because it hurts. You loose parts of yourself and you forget that they were there in the first place, and you stop looking for them." Brilliantly stated.....I never heard it quite described in this manner and it is spot on with long term sucidal depression.
I have been suffering from depression for quite a while. It's so true that people came to me and say to me: "why don't you just be happy", "It's okay. You will be fine...", "Stop listening to those depressing music" or when you act differently than others, they will be like:" That girl's just depressed..." Depression isn't something you can get rid of. You learn to live with it. You still have negative thoughts and even suicidal thoughts sometimes. You still cry. You still think life sucks. But life goes on. You become stronger each time you deal with all the shit but in the end you find the beauty deep inside of your mind and body and you find the meaning of life.
THAT depressing music!*
-Super sorry I correct other people to hide my insecurities-
I can't tell you what suicide is like because I have not been successful yet. I just got out of the hospital from my 7th stay. Finally, I realize that loneliness drives mine. I don't tell anyone that because if someone is going to love me, I wish it to be real, and unfeigned. All I can do is to stay busy doing good.
I don't know you, I don't know what you look like, I don't know how old you are, what colour your hair is, what ethnicity you are and yet I love you. I feel connected to you through a simple sentence on a UA-cam video? You see? You're not alone, you're never alone.
reggie watts Thank you. I am 68, and bottle blonde. People say I am pretty.
You know.. sometimes I myself consider it, and for similar reasons. The girl I loved found other boys she liked more than me. The novelty had gone. She'd never admit it, we're "still friends" but you know, I felt so unworthy the whole way through because I believed in her so much more than myself, I actually agreed to break up. Because I felt wholeheartedly obliged to. Expected to. And all because I never believed. I am partially better now, but the days after we broke up, since I technically can't claim that she left me, I felt more alone than before I had met her. Because now my hope of a happy life with someone I can always love and trust is gone. I had two people in my life I really found an inspiration. People I can call friends. People who survived suicide attempts and said "not again." They are both dead now. One jumped. The other sliced her wrists and stayed on life support for a week. There were hashtags. Prayers. She was announced dead soon after it had been a week and half a day. Her boyfriend disappeared from all media. I never heard from him again. I have no birth marks, ugly scars or burns. I have a skin condition but that's all I can think of as far as reasoning goes, but I can never love the way I look. I can't. I'm thin and relatively healthy but I'm thin because I don't believe I deserve what makes you overweight. People in school laugh at the concept of people loving me. People ask me out as a joke, and it becomes the talk of the town. People who claim to love the way I look only do it out of sympathy. I know it. But like you, I don't want sympathy. I want understanding. Because sympathy is no bandage. Sympathy is a plaster or in the US band-aid to the mental wounds this inflicts. Plasters don't fix internal bleeding. Plasters don't fix stab wounds. Bandages begin to help. Understanding is my bandage. Help is my surgery. But it seems I'm a hemophiliac. Because my mind automatically rejects any help I recieve. I want to believe the kind words but I know that they could apply to more people than it doesn't apply to. This fear and rejection digs me deeper. Salts the wound. Tears off the stitches. Sticks and stones will break my bones, names will hurt, rejection locks me in an empty room with no windows, fear of help barricades the door, but what cut the phone lines was the fear of everyone else. I'm thirteen and I find myself saying "Just one more day." from time to time. I have an amount of hope but there are only so many times you can relight an ember before there's nothing left to light and the darkness takes you. The only reason I still breathe is because I don't know if I'm around the corner from the love of my life, or if I'm stuck in limbo. On the endless staircase illusion. It's an illusion of choice, but it confuses me so much I can't make a decision. Stay or go, live or die. Balancing act.
I can't tell you what to do with your life. Couldn't dream of it. But I can tell you this, you don't know death. And in my mind the chances of afterdeath being pleasant aren't high from my point of view. I don't know if it's worth risking, because it could be worse than anything I've ever felt or ever would have. Don't make a decision on impulse. If you do, think first.
+Dylan Wintle hey man, life is gorgeous. A lot of things are fucking terrible sure and it's not always plain sailing but...you're alive? You have the ability to think, feel, see, understand, grow, learn. You're incredible and special as a byproduct of just being alive. Try watching Neil DeGrasse Tyson - the most astounding fact. Much love man 💙
The greatest healing modality is love , Having someone "see you " really see you , hold you ,listen to you ,Transparent & totally Vulnerable .Radical self acceptance IS all we need
Shoot me plz (҂⌣̀_⌣́)
I want some rest
I've struggled with these invasive, intrusive and relentless thoughts of suicide for most of my life, and in those moments that I feel totally alone, totally defeated, and totally abandoned, I think of all the people whose world would completely implode if I acted on them. when I think of thier pain, caused by something so irreversible that I had done, I break down and cry, ball my eyes out until no tears remain. I don't cry because I'm defeated, I cry because in that moment I always realize that I'm in fact not alone, those people, my people, would have that pain because I'm a part of them, a part of thier world. even though I know these thoughts will return, the feeling of loneliness will return, and my own sense of failure will always be over my shoulder, it's those people that have been there all along, and that gives me just enough strength to get through it. love is there, it's with you all, sometimes it's but a small whisper that says so quietly, it will be better Tommorrow...
animals don't lie
animals don't lie i feel like these people don’t love me though. All I’ve been is a walking disaster for most of my life. I never got close to any of them!
Life is tough. There is only one thing that can bring true joy. Worldly pleasures do not satisfy.
Jesus understands and cares and has answers. He has the power to work out your current situations.
It’s a relationship, not a church. Not a religion that will make a difference. He’s waiting for you to come
to him and not to fear. All the sin in the world would not stop him from wanting to be with you, for he is
God of forgiveness and mercy. He too had a very hard life, for he went through betrayals, torture and
suffering before he died. Lay it all down on the cross and have him take the pain and torment from you,
that you have carried for too long. You have a very real enemy that wants you to believe you are to
blame. This is most certainly a lie, Jesus can clarify to you if you come to him with your broken heart.
He wants to forgive you and give you a brand-new start in life. He is waiting for you and have nothing to
fear and everything to rejoice over. Come home and you will get a fresh new start. Jesus wants you to
dream of what you always wanted, and to know he makes dreams come true. He gives you dreams and
helps you fulfill them. Jesus created you with dreams and talents for you to fulfill. And when you give
your life to him, he begins to lead you in the ways you need to go find fulfillment. He writes straight with
crooked lines, each and every person is an individual. Different. Unique from all others. And
therefore, there is no canned assignment. Jesus doesn’t make cookie-cutter Christians. Each of you are
SO unique, and the mission he gives you is to fulfill your deepest needs and desires.
I really want to be dead. I've made it to the point where going into all those reasons is beyond my power.
how are you feeling now? i'm always here for you if you're willing to talk. you're a warrior.❣
Hang in there. You’ll make it
The analogy of the waves pushing you more and more when you resist is a perfect explanation of our feelings
Your innocence and vulnerability are the real treasures of life. Congratulations for keeping them intact, you are a real hero!
Thank You
Thank you Sami, for putting into words those thoughts and feelings I have lived with for all of my 62 years.
I have depression, I've had it for 14 years. I get thru my days by ignoring it with a million half done projects. On the days I can't ignore it, I sleep. I love my kids and I own my deseas, keeping it a secret from them so that they might have a chance to the happynes that feels was taken from me.
Thank you for posting this. In 2014 I gave up and confessed to my boyfriend at the time that I wanted to die and explained how I truly believed everyone would be better off without the burden of me. I told him I knew they'd hurt but it'd be better in the long run. He didn't hold me or tell me sunny days are ahead. Instead he told me I was disgustingly selfish. That hurt a lot and made me want to go more. But I strapped on my helmet and trucked along.
Now there is 2018. Lost my job, my home, my car died on Easter (today). It's hopeless. I want to go again ...but I can't. Others need me. So I fake Strength.
I'm glad somebody understands. ✌️ ❤️
If you can 'fake' strength', well THAT's one form of strength... hang in there lady.. may you find more and more strength and beauty...
i love this man and his stuffed animal and his bare feet and his problems
His honesty is admirable. The raw emotion is real
'Why am I still here? Why do I have to continue living and struggling when I can just end it all now, and be at peace?' For two years that question has been in my head, and for four years longer I wondered what the point of living even is. The way that I coped with depression which is no one should do is ignore it, pretend it does not exist, eventually though, if you ignore it, it will come back even worse. One the worst parts is feeling that is all my fault, that I would be doing the world a favour. Sometimes, though, I do find good things about living, and it cheers me up, only when really negative things happen does my depression come back. Remember, the most important thing is that you take care of yourself, not that you become what someone else wants you to be.
Thank you. It is often forgotten that broken adults start as broken children and often carry that part of themselves with them.
Good job sami, one of the best talks on depression\suicide I've heard
Five minutes and thirty seconds in and I'd already begun to drip tears... his mentioning wanting to have cancer is so relatable to me (except sometimes I just pray, asking God to just let me die). So much of this video is relatable. The way he speaks is so peaceful. He seems so honest and sincere, which somehow is reassuring. His analogies are wonderful, not in a dark way but in a relieving way ("SOMEONE can put into words what it feels like").
He's talking about how I feel most of the time. I'm glad someone is spreading the awareness on such a big platform
Love, love, love. Nothing but love for this amazing man💗
Coming from a former sufferer, here's a few guidelines
1) Make a to do list for your day, you can start off small, can be anything from (10 press ups, 10 sit ups, 20 squats)
2) No sugary treats
3) Listen to some ambient music, find a peaceful spot, think about everything you're grateful for
4) Eat an apple, a banana and a handful of grapes
5) Tidy your workspace or room, it may seem small but it's productive
These are just a few things I started with and I've gone from suicidal to ecstatic
YOU'VE GOT THIS
thank you!
Sometimes even to live is an act of courage
Thank you for this talk Sami, it’s so human and real. I have been suffering from depression on and off for many years now but never really dealt with it directly. Since my teenage daughter attempted suicide a few weeks ago, my depression pulled me down to the bottom of the sea as you describe it. After I went through the stages of shock, denial, guilt and self pity, I am beginning to try to understand depression, mine as well as my daughters’. Your talk feels like a first step to understand, a simple step that months of meetings with psychiatrists have not achieved.
This is just about the most REAL LIVE description of overwhelming depression I have seen and heard so far.
Listening to this while having an episode and slightly intoxicated.
Huh, I am too.
Did it help? How are you?
Shite, he just referred to Robin Williams…
Now he’s got me zzzzzz’ing.
That helped.
It'll be okay. You'll be okay. Just because you are not okay now, doesn't mean you won't be. I'm also not okay now, but I will be better. We will both be better. I believe it, and it would be wonderful if you could maybe believe it as well.
+TypicallyUsual this helped me. thank you.
I can’t fight this for 30 years. Don’t know how you managed to do so.
I want my consciousness to end.
I loose all hope when I hear someone who are depressed for decades, even one week or a day sometimes seems pure torture!!
This man is brave to share his story
I've been depressed for as long as I can remember.I'm tired.my family doesn't believe there's such a thing as mental illness.I'm 22yrs old now and I've given up on living.I wish no one ever goes through this,nobody deserves this.
i felt as if i had no value ,that i lack proper communication skills with the opposite sex, that i was uneducated , i was heavily overweight. i smoked marlboro menthol until my throat and chest hurt daily for a decade. i started slowly changing my weakest flaws , obtained a g.e.d , i eventually stopped smoking and its been 4 years of success .i started running everyday until i could not take anymore. i did it for seven months. i had lost a third of my body weight and still maintain my weight. i made several great wonderful friends that i loved very deeply . despite all of these things the hardest thing ive ever excepted is that i still have no value, and will one day go to my grave with no value . that i am not a sexually attractive man despite my vastly improved health, that i will most likely never enjoy having children , and that somethings in life you can not change . everyday when i wake up i instead of looking for ways to change things that i can not change, i look in the mirror at my face every morning , get ready for work , get in my car and i pray like hell that i am alone and no one else feels as unwanted as i.
Oh, my! My tears are falling at the end. We all need to share our stories to raise awareness.
What it is so hard about depression is how to explain the feelings to others and not to feel understood. I still keep surviving but feel much better. There are many ways out of the depression and i'm sure everyone who suffers this can find its own way. Just as Sami did keep trying .
Thank you for sharing the video.
I've never witnessed someone emanating with so much wisdom and love. It sounds cheesy but I can even feel it through the screen. I can only imagine the amount of labour behind all he'd shown. I wish I could be somehow like them, inspiring and educating people, in an alternate reality because I think I can't do it on this one.
This is a man in pain trying to heal. Bless him.
You know it feels so good to see these comments and see people who are going through the same thing it's like this is my little family the others don't understand me and wonder why I'm so quiet and I tell them what's wrong and I start to cry but they say I'm weak and I look pathetic and I'm not a baby anymore . I didn't know crying was only for babies when I'm in need of help seriously and it jut sucks it really does I'm at the point where I'm accepting that I'm depressed and highly senestive and I may never change
Life is tough. There is only one thing that can bring true joy. Worldly pleasures do not satisfy.
Jesus understands and cares and has answers. He has the power to work out your current situations.
It’s a relationship, not a church. Not a religion that will make a difference. He’s waiting for you to come
to him and not to fear. All the sin in the world would not stop him from wanting to be with you, for he is
God of forgiveness and mercy. He too had a very hard life, for he went through betrayals, torture and
suffering before he died. Lay it all down on the cross and have him take the pain and torment from you,
that you have carried for too long. You have a very real enemy that wants you to believe you are to
blame. This is most certainly a lie, Jesus can clarify to you if you come to him with your broken heart.
He wants to forgive you and give you a brand-new start in life. He is waiting for you and have nothing to
fear and everything to rejoice over. Come home and you will get a fresh new start. Jesus wants you to
dream of what you always wanted, and to know he makes dreams come true. He gives you dreams and
helps you fulfill them. Jesus created you with dreams and talents for you to fulfill. And when you give
your life to him, he begins to lead you in the ways you need to go find fulfillment. He writes straight with
crooked lines, each and every person is an individual. Different. Unique from all others. And
therefore, there is no canned assignment. Jesus doesn’t make cookie-cutter Christians. Each of you are
SO unique, and the mission he gives you is to fulfill your deepest needs and desires.
Man I’ve seen a lot of these. By far the best one I’ve ever watched. WoW such painful honesty. Almost brought tears to my eyes. Lord bless this man.
I stopped the video because I felt the urge to write to you, to say I'd like to run towards tou and hold you tight and cry, because I felt all the things you were talking about and I know how much it hurts, how it feels to be your own enemy and judge, how to feel pity and anger and sadness and disappointed by all the treatments that don't work and for people anda loved one's often unsolicited advices on "how to stop being depressed", and the feel of wishing the pain and the emptiness and the brokenness would be more tangible for others and yourself too, because sometimes you feel so so bad and you don't even knof if it's real anymore, you're so used to mental pain that you can't remember or allow yourself to hope another way of living or thinking is possible. Your speech was admirable.
i'm in uni. just three minutes into the video and all the doc was talking about here is like looking in a mirror for me. I barely did any work since the start of this semester and everyday i feel like it would be awesome if i sleep tonight woke up tomorrow and the world ends and i don't have to look at any part of this life anymore. I am definitely going to get psychological help tomorrow
I'm delighted the talk is motivating you.. :)
Sami Moukaddem xxxx....well clear.....great Sami...
I have suffered Depression for many years and I have taken many types of antidepressants for many years and am still always depressed no one understands except the ones who suffer from it God bless you all
I don't understand why it's wrong to choose to end our lives with dignity rather than live with horrific and excruciating mental and physical pain is considered giving up or something to be stopped? My life, my pain and most definitely my choice. Why doesn't someone make a great UA-cam video in support of those who had the courage to know when enough is enough???? I don't feel any need to continue with this horrific nonstop pain. Death is peace and can be the best choice for some people. For some of us life is nonstop torture and we just want to end our lives with dignity. But we have to do it alone because people always want to "save us"! I support the right of sufferers to decide to choose peace (death). This gentleman is really awesome but not everyone with severe depression and other issues want to spend their lives feeling like they are already dead. You can only fight so much before it becomes too exhausting! I do wish he helped someone who truly chooses life.
+Regina Bande Keep in mind that it's an illness. You have to know that with the appropriate help you can move on with a normal life. Have hope, once you hit the bottom, the only way is up. Fight depression and don't give up. Greetings from Argentina
+rodri q Thank you so much! I'm 52 years old and it's my misfortune that my illness has always been treatment resistant. Actually I've been on every med that exists since the age of 4 when I was put on phenobarbital. I exhibited signs and had problems from the 1st year of my life. So I've actually been to psychiatrists and therapists all my life. Believe me when I tell you that I've literally spent my 52 years fighting! Thank you for caring enough to send me your very positive comment! I'm so grateful for compassionate people like you! What you need to understand that when you've exhausted every available treatment but nothing works for my brain there comes a time when you become so tired that there is nothing left to fight for. I have 1 hope left. Moving back home to NYC. I'm stuck in horrible Florida right now. I truly believe that moving back home to NYC I will survive if I can't I choose to die. In FL I can't drive so I'm stuck in a house that feels like death in life.
+rodri q My situation is complicated by major brain surgery 2 years ago to remove a very large tumor. The surgery damaged one of the major nerves in the brain so I have been left with excruciating and horrific head and facial pain. There is no cure only minor pain management meds and surgery that may or may not work but if it works the results only last about 2 years. Basically I'm in constant physical nerve pain that will worsen as I get older and mental pain. I don't feel sorry for myself and I accept my pain. I was able to fight my mental pain in NYC but add the nerve damage pain and I do believe I can turn my pain by helping others. Since I'm not allowed to drive here in FL I can do anything at all. But in NYC I can go back to school and start a career where I can help the disenfranchised or others suffering like me. I cannot do that here. If I'm stuck here in FL I choose death and I'm truly okay with that. My pain, my life, my choice and I know I've fought hard! ❤ u Argentina!
+rodri q Gracias Argentina! Me encantan las películas de Ricardo Darin! Es un gran actor! Con mucho cariño. Regina
Regina Bande It's legal in Oregon, I hope all states adopt that legislature it's only humane
The end was magical, hearing that white noise of humming which calms your mind and de-stresses when you know it comes from people who care about what Sami said. Because the ones who dont care - they didnt hum. God bless the ones who left the World because of depression.
This was a beautiful talk. You are a remarkable man. My life feels like it has been a nasty mistake. It's nice to not feel all alone in this, of course, but, way more than that, I want to wish you well, from the bottom of my heart. Thanks.
How are things by now, frank?
I’m there. Struggling to work through this dark storm. Just getting out of bed seems like an accomplishment. Working on it.
i swear if i found someone who is suicidal and wants to do it together i think i would actually do it sooner and be more decicive to do it, i dont know what will be but good luck to u all!
That was the most useful TED-talk I've ever watched. Thank you very much.
Robin Williams, a man I watched with my eyes wide open. Saw the pain in this man over 25-30 years ago. With a heavy heart, I told my husband, Robin will end his own life some day. Why I saw this in him I'm not sure why, I just did.
Thank you for sharing your tragic but beautiful story. I write this from my darkened bedroom, that I've not left in years now. Only to go to the doctor. Nothing else.
Something different is happening to me, I've been depressed since my early adulthood I'm now 56. I don't know where this is going. The current of the ocean is so strong.
There is no ME left.
Describes me perfectly. I'm perpetually suicidal. Many many times hospitalized. Now I just live with it. I Totally Want Non-existence. Never to live again. Blessings to this man, who knows the person I am.
Im with u
@@kamillaiqbal6521 ..but please don't leave this planet unless God takes you. Stay alive.
@@ericawenkle5432 i dont have a way...no euthanasia in monett missouri
i love, you i'm so afraid to go to bed at night for fear of whats going to happen to me!
im 3 minutes in and hd hasnt acknowledged the stuffed giraffe hes holding yet..
oh actually I think its a horse.
I think it's a camel
+Amy-Rose Darbyshire It's a lion
+geekygolden gal (geekygoldengal) It's Bigfoot.
+The Real Jezuz I'm pretty sure it's a camel
Thank you for sharing this with us
I live with suicide..it's like a little voice that lives in my head, all the time. I talk to it often and admit openly, I have learnt to accept my thinking as part of my life as an option not an action.
U can't stop them ;)
Dr. Moukaddem thank you for reaching out and connecting with us in this way, and bravely sharing your testimony. I live in a small town and the therapists here are still using the old textbooks when they were in college. Their definition of depression is very limited, outdated and not applicable. How is that going to help patients in need when their therapists don't even understand what they're going through? Your speech gave me hope as you nailed it with describing all of the horrible and weird symptoms that depression entails.
Also people need to realize that there's a connection with depression and creative, artistic intuitive people. I believe people who suffer from depression have great gifts to offer this world, but their "depression" is trying to stop them from doing that. I look at my depression as an entity that is not me. I'm not going to let it get its way, although sometimes it does. But I continue to fight. Being educated about depression is one very powerful weapon.