Yes! It was hard for me to come to terms with that during my marriage. Like, how could this person who pursued me and chose to ask me to be his wife end up bringing so much harm and havoc to my life? Ultimately I came to understand that it wasn't about me, but the contempt left me particularly wounded and shut down emotionally.Thanks for watching and commenting! I am so glad you got out! ❤
I believe you will get there! I was emotionally disengaged in the last 2 years of my marriage and know that is what gave me a jump start on healing. I am now coming up on 5 years post divorce and I look back with such compassion for the woman I was in the midst of that pain. I felt so small, defeated, and weak; it seemed like things would never turn around for me. But day by day, victory after victory, the light began to shine in my life again.
Thank you for talking about this. Even though the topic is marriage I’ve found the same things can apply to friendships. I experienced a high level of trauma in 3 female friendships in the past and cannot reconcile with them. But I have a high level of mental peace now! ❤
Thanks for watching! Yes, I think much of this can apply in any kind of relationship (friend, spouse, family member, etc.) It can be hard to come to terms with such harmful behavior coming from people who are supposed to respect and care for you. I am so happy you were able to find peace and pray you find a tribe of healthy people to connect with. ❤
This is an awesome video. It's informative and well done. I've been down the ugly road of divorce with the Christian/church's perspective in the forefront. I look forward to next week's video.
Thanks! It was such a difficult place to be in within church culture. I am grateful for being able to hear the Holy Spirit for myself. I am also encouraged as more church leaders are beginning to get revelation about the nuance of emotional abuse and how to apply biblical truth to help set people free.
It takes a great deal of strength to see beyond the authority of an entire faith system. The church will often turn people in a toxic loop back to one another. I applaud you for seeing yourself through to your freedom. For me, I've come to know that the underlying value of the people involved needs to be seen in both partners. I mean, I, for example need to see that i hold enough value to deserve care, esteem, honesty, and respect. I have to see that my partner deserves the same. If i stop seeing that for either of us, that relationship is at an impasse. Without both partners recognizing the worth in themselves and the other, the path to partnership is corrupted. That's the easiest way for me to determine an irreparable break, the loss of value. Often a toxic person will show that lack of value for themselves first. It's usually the first sign that is explained away too. That same lack of value they hold for themselves will definitely shift their perspective of how they see the other person eventually as well. We are all wired this way. We cannot give another person a different set of lenses than the ones we first use on ourselves. That self treatment, however, is the most difficult pattern to see. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. 💝💐
Thanks for watching and your very insightful comment. This is so true! I had such a low self worth from unaddressed childhood wounds that I thought I had to prove myself through doing good and sacrifice. Some of my early church experiences reinforced that behavior because serving and sacrifice for God and/or the local church is expected, celebrated, and rewarded. Healing the self is the key!
Excellent. When they have a seething contempt for you... i got out for survival too. God bless you ❤
Yes! It was hard for me to come to terms with that during my marriage. Like, how could this person who pursued me and chose to ask me to be his wife end up bringing so much harm and havoc to my life? Ultimately I came to understand that it wasn't about me, but the contempt left me particularly wounded and shut down emotionally.Thanks for watching and commenting! I am so glad you got out! ❤
You are glowing! I can't wait to get to this side of thriving! Thank you for sharing ❤
I believe you will get there! I was emotionally disengaged in the last 2 years of my marriage and know that is what gave me a jump start on healing. I am now coming up on 5 years post divorce and I look back with such compassion for the woman I was in the midst of that pain. I felt so small, defeated, and weak; it seemed like things would never turn around for me. But day by day, victory after victory, the light began to shine in my life again.
Excellent from start to finish.
Thanks friend!
Excellent video!
Thanks for watching!
Thank you for talking about this. Even though the topic is marriage I’ve found the same things can apply to friendships. I experienced a high level of trauma in 3 female friendships in the past and cannot reconcile with them. But I have a high level of mental peace now! ❤
Thanks for watching! Yes, I think much of this can apply in any kind of relationship (friend, spouse, family member, etc.) It can be hard to come to terms with such harmful behavior coming from people who are supposed to respect and care for you. I am so happy you were able to find peace and pray you find a tribe of healthy people to connect with. ❤
Whoa! You can have empathy for what they have gone through but not at the expense of your well being! Boom!
Thanks for watching and commenting! ❤
This is an awesome video. It's informative and well done. I've been down the ugly road of divorce with the Christian/church's perspective in the forefront.
I look forward to next week's video.
Thanks! It was such a difficult place to be in within church culture. I am grateful for being able to hear the Holy Spirit for myself. I am also encouraged as more church leaders are beginning to get revelation about the nuance of emotional abuse and how to apply biblical truth to help set people free.
You’re fabulous! Your voice and demeanor is calm and grounded. You spoke intelligently. 👍🙌 thank you for this video. Subscribed!
Thank you for watching! I appreciate you subscribing.
It takes a great deal of strength to see beyond the authority of an entire faith system. The church will often turn people in a toxic loop back to one another. I applaud you for seeing yourself through to your freedom.
For me, I've come to know that the underlying value of the people involved needs to be seen in both partners. I mean, I, for example need to see that i hold enough value to deserve care, esteem, honesty, and respect. I have to see that my partner deserves the same. If i stop seeing that for either of us, that relationship is at an impasse. Without both partners recognizing the worth in themselves and the other, the path to partnership is corrupted. That's the easiest way for me to determine an irreparable break, the loss of value. Often a toxic person will show that lack of value for themselves first. It's usually the first sign that is explained away too. That same lack of value they hold for themselves will definitely shift their perspective of how they see the other person eventually as well. We are all wired this way. We cannot give another person a different set of lenses than the ones we first use on ourselves. That self treatment, however, is the most difficult pattern to see.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. 💝💐
PS - I might be biased, but I love your name! Lol!
Thanks for watching and your very insightful comment. This is so true! I had such a low self worth from unaddressed childhood wounds that I thought I had to prove myself through doing good and sacrifice. Some of my early church experiences reinforced that behavior because serving and sacrifice for God and/or the local church is expected, celebrated, and rewarded. Healing the self is the key!
@@DanielleSamoneJohnson77 YES! We Danielles are pretty special! 🙂
Hey there! I'd love to hear what resonated with you. Do you have anything to add to my list? Let me know in the comments.