Story 1 is actually a really GOOD example of gaslighting. Gaslighting isn't about emotions necessarily, it's convincing someone the reality they know isn't real. Obviously this wasn't a cr4zy harmful example, but it's useful.
The first story frustrated the shit outta me. OP asked such a simple question, and Reddit armchair psychologists rolled in - with their shared braincell - trying to force it into their pre-existing drama mold.
Story 2: Ex and his family abandon OP and unborn son, leaving no way to communicate with them. What kinda mental gymnastics does one have to do to justify something like that and to actually have anger at her over this? They abandoned her and the child, not the other way around. A family of cowards. Never even asked about what was done with the child and where he is buried. Very telling. They never gave a 💩 about that baby. Selfish, narcissistic behavior at its best. They can do no wrong and its all OPs fault for not being able to telepathically inform her ex and his family of developments 😒. I'm glad she got out of and away from this family. Good riddance.
I was thinking the same thing about the fact they never once asked about what was done to the baby, or where he was buried at! It definitely says a lot about the Ex in-laws, and they don't give two shits about that poor baby. I would consider this a very small mercy in that since the baby died OP doesn't have anything to connect her to her Ex Husband & the in-laws for the duration of the child's life. Not to mention the baby is spared from such shitty family members & shitty Ex husband. Sure they can bad mouth her all they want, but as far as I'm concerned they are strangers put away in the past where they rightfully belong in OP's history book to never look back on. I probably would have been super petty & pissed if the Ex came by asking about their child after months of NC. I would have told him to wait a minute and came back with a funeral program/obituary to show him. Not meant to be funny, but a lot to do with my hurt & anger at that moment towards the Ex.
Reddit really can’t deal with a post that doesn’t fit into one of their preconceived boxes. 1st OP was a husband, playing chess with his wife and son, and his wife intentionally lets their son win. Nothing else in the post mattered, because those facts means OP has to fit into the “Abusive husband who can’t let his son win out of jealousy” box. It doesn’t matter that OP clarified over and over and over again that he didn’t fit into the box and just needed help, Reddit only knows their pre-constructed stories and you *will* fit into one of those boxes
That is, unfortunately, an exceptionally common sentiment from reddit. Like the story where a mom spent her daughter's entire college fund on personal shopping, then reddit attacked the OP (the stepdad) for consoling a young girl whose future was thrown away for clothing and jewelry
Story 1, I can already see it in the future, once the son gets a partner, she will get jealous of them and try and mess with their relationship, unless she deals with her issues She is already that possessive of her son’s attention that she tried to deter the son from playing chess with his dad, just because it’s “hers”
But she's a woman, so she can't be in the wrong, so that means the Dad is abusive and controlling. Women are always amazing and men are always terrible. At least, that's what reddit believes
OP seems to have a really good attitude in the first story, and I can see where his wife is coming from. But it does their son a disservice when she keeps throwing him easy wins. When their son actually realises the level that his mother plays at, then all his previous wins will become cheap and meaningless. It will really knock his confidence and self-esteem, and he'll start to believe he has no chess playing ability at all.
Story 1: I hate reddit commenter like wtf ? This story is beautiful and they got a beautiful relationship. He is a great dad and husband and i, happy they talked with each other. And reddit people need terrapie.And should realy learn to read -.- omg most commenters just dont read right. Like yes my writing is bad but at least I can read.
Someone is reading it for you on this as it is said out loud by the voice doing the reading, so it would be "at least I can listen". And the word you're looking for is therapy. Js.
@@talathewolf6723I think you need an English class. You need at least one semicolon, different wording and a few other commas The comment here was about how the people commenting on Reddit didn't read the story right. REDDIT DOESN'T READ THE STORY FOR YOU
@shadowcollins4589 This video is nothing but reddit being read aloud. As in someone is reading to you. Lmao, I never said I was perfect, but the way therapy is spelled is honestly hilariously awesome. In case you don't know, the phrase "the word you're looking for is therapy" is said frequently by many therapists both with and without their conscious knowledge. If i was trying to be a tyrant about spelling and grammar, there were way more options than just the one word. But you have an awesome day with your assumptions, lmao I bet they serve you well in life and lead you into many wonderful and fulfilling relationships.
Oh god pls -.- Logicly I was revering to reddit story's and a lot of other storys I already read and understood. Do you only listen to reddit story's or what? and never read in your life? Commenter 2 is right and got it AND I littarly wrote that Im not good in writing. Why would you feel the need to correct my writing????? Gooooddd pls go play autocorrection some where else. Thx And that part about relationship ? Whats going onnnnnn. That projection level wow
@hennigadient4265 why would I waste time reading reddit when there are real books to learn from. Listening to reddit when doing chores is one thing but, no when I actually read, I want something that's not going to lower my IQ by association. And if I was correcting you I would have made a list of the errors, I did not do that. If you read that much reddit you should probably be in real therapy and then you would actually hear therapist say the exact line I quoted. Grow up dude, you literally just focused solely on the potential negative instead of anything else. Hence why you should probably go see a real therapist. People who only focus on the negative and automatically assume they know the score when they don't know it at all really do tend to ruin their own relationships. As what I had said to the other dude and not to you until now. So you might not want to do that lmao. I hope you have a great day too.
She was so busy coddling him that is actively hurting him when reality hits. Son is going to blame her for how hurt he is and she will go out of her way to claim it’s his or OP’s fault rather than take responsibility.
Uhh might be a good idea to add in which story your talking about, cause, I was just about to give you a verbal smacking for talking about the lady that LOST HER NEWBORN BABY
Story 2, Nta and I'm glad op sister got her head out of her behind but seriously she was stupid as heII to take ex's and his mom's side in the first place, Him and his sorry excuse of a mother did this to themselves and themselves alone they had no reason not to response to op, so everything that happened is their own damn fault and have to live with it, seriously besides op's poor child passing away, I'm happy nobody stuck dealing with these pos ever again, because at this point op can get a ro if they contact her again and they can't even lie to anyone either to harass op since she has all the texts & call longs proofing she contact them and they willingly blocked and ignored her.
I feel like the reason for that is cause people kept assuming the OP was somehow this crazy abusive monster and he kept having to clarify the fact he wasn't over and over again Which is irritating but also pretty ridiculous
The second story was just vile, the fact that she sister was agreeing with her ex is just disgusting. Your sister lost her baby too. Don’t be a dick when you know your sister is going through a lot. Also the ex and the mother are idiots and OP TRIED To get in contact with the ex but they just blocked it all and then want to whine and cry about not knowing OP’s son died.
disappearing sperm donor story screenshot and FB post to his family, work , anyone else that could make his life difficult ... be really descriptive on the pain and loneliness and let them all know they are defending a piece of shit and harassing a grieving mother
Story 1: op has a really big ego. His heart is in the right place but his need of reassuring himself as the one in the right is concerning. I can see how the wife felt attacked by his superiority mannerisms and I can see how it escapes to himself. I mean, he was being gaslighted, and notted how his son was being affected, but it took him really long to do something about it, not because of concern or insecurity, but because he needed being the one in the right before doing anything I'm glad everything worked well in the end but I'll suggest talking to a therapist to gain some tools for that, because it could be bad for him to malicious comply 100% of the time (that is just for people you are ok being in bad terms with)
You completely misread what he was saying. He doesn't really have an ego he just knew that his wife was intentionally throwing games cause he's a decent chest player. I'm good at fighting games, not great but decent. If i watch a game I can tell if someone is intentionally losing. If Lebron James is watching a basketball game he can tell if someone is intentionally missing shots or turning the ball over. Once you have a better or advance understanding of a game you can tell good plays from bad plays. He complied cause thats what him and his wife agreed on and she went back on that agreement cause she knew if she lost on purpose the son would rather play with her than him. And then lied about throwing the matches. Thats manipulative and he should feel some type of way about it if his wife is blatantly going against an agreement and lying about it. His whole problem was he didn't know how to approach the situation. His wife was gaslighting him and made their son prefer playing chest with her instead of him cause of her own insecurities and he didn't know whether to call her out or not. Plus in the end HE WAS RIGHT about everything. His wife was throwing games to make her son play with her more and was lying about it so he wouldn't ask to his son to play anymore.
Maybe he wanted to be reassured because he Was being gaslighted actually? You know, the manipulation tactic that makes so people doubt their reality and makes them feel like they are going insane? Maybe you are right though, I can't see why someone who's getting their reality fucked over for seemingly no reason would need to be reassured that something is going on
Tf? OP was RIGHT. His wife was gaslighting him and admitted she was doing it (and why). How are you still trying to claim he was 'maliciously complying' in this scenario?
I also have to chime in with my bafflement. He wasn't asking for validation; he was asking for advice to move forward. Most sites discussing gaslighting pretty much say "run and don't look back", which - well, if applied here, probably would've had a worse outcome. So crowdsourcing a solution wasn't a bad idea.
S2, they keep trashing you because they know that they're the ones at fault. Your ex ran away like a child. Ignore them, they know that they're the ah.
Story 1 is actually a really GOOD example of gaslighting. Gaslighting isn't about emotions necessarily, it's convincing someone the reality they know isn't real. Obviously this wasn't a cr4zy harmful example, but it's useful.
"Reddit seems to love the story of the evil, abusive husband." Damn my guy, don't hit reddit straight in the feefees 😂
😂😂😂😂
It happens so much that the moment anyone hears anything negative they immediately jump to that lol
The first story frustrated the shit outta me. OP asked such a simple question, and Reddit armchair psychologists rolled in - with their shared braincell - trying to force it into their pre-existing drama mold.
Story 1: How did so many redditors miss the "pick me" emitted from the wife.
I love how OP snapped back at the idiots.
Story 2: Ex and his family abandon OP and unborn son, leaving no way to communicate with them. What kinda mental gymnastics does one have to do to justify something like that and to actually have anger at her over this? They abandoned her and the child, not the other way around. A family of cowards. Never even asked about what was done with the child and where he is buried. Very telling. They never gave a 💩 about that baby. Selfish, narcissistic behavior at its best. They can do no wrong and its all OPs fault for not being able to telepathically inform her ex and his family of developments 😒. I'm glad she got out of and away from this family. Good riddance.
I know. I suspect they feel guilty and are angrily projecting it all on op because they have the self reflection skills of a rock
I was thinking the same thing about the fact they never once asked about what was done to the baby, or where he was buried at! It definitely says a lot about the Ex in-laws, and they don't give two shits about that poor baby. I would consider this a very small mercy in that since the baby died OP doesn't have anything to connect her to her Ex Husband & the in-laws for the duration of the child's life.
Not to mention the baby is spared from such shitty family members & shitty Ex husband.
Sure they can bad mouth her all they want, but as far as I'm concerned they are strangers put away in the past where they rightfully belong in OP's history book to never look back on. I probably would have been super petty & pissed if the Ex came by asking about their child after months of NC. I would have told him to wait a minute and came back with a funeral program/obituary to show him. Not meant to be funny, but a lot to do with my hurt & anger at that moment towards the Ex.
Story 1: This is why communication is key
Reddit really can’t deal with a post that doesn’t fit into one of their preconceived boxes. 1st OP was a husband, playing chess with his wife and son, and his wife intentionally lets their son win. Nothing else in the post mattered, because those facts means OP has to fit into the “Abusive husband who can’t let his son win out of jealousy” box. It doesn’t matter that OP clarified over and over and over again that he didn’t fit into the box and just needed help, Reddit only knows their pre-constructed stories and you *will* fit into one of those boxes
HOW DARE YOU BE A GOOD FATHER
That is, unfortunately, an exceptionally common sentiment from reddit. Like the story where a mom spent her daughter's entire college fund on personal shopping, then reddit attacked the OP (the stepdad) for consoling a young girl whose future was thrown away for clothing and jewelry
Story 1, I can already see it in the future, once the son gets a partner, she will get jealous of them and try and mess with their relationship, unless she deals with her issues
She is already that possessive of her son’s attention that she tried to deter the son from playing chess with his dad, just because it’s “hers”
Yeah imma be straight for story one.
There is abuse but not the dad/husband.
The wife.
It’s small. But that’s gaslighting *a type of abuse*
But she's a woman, so she can't be in the wrong, so that means the Dad is abusive and controlling. Women are always amazing and men are always terrible. At least, that's what reddit believes
OP seems to have a really good attitude in the first story, and I can see where his wife is coming from. But it does their son a disservice when she keeps throwing him easy wins. When their son actually realises the level that his mother plays at, then all his previous wins will become cheap and meaningless. It will really knock his confidence and self-esteem, and he'll start to believe he has no chess playing ability at all.
The projection of the redditors in story 1 is astounding.
Story 1: I hate reddit commenter like wtf ? This story is beautiful and they got a beautiful relationship. He is a great dad and husband and i, happy they talked with each other. And reddit people need terrapie.And should realy learn to read -.- omg most commenters just dont read right. Like yes my writing is bad but at least I can read.
Someone is reading it for you on this as it is said out loud by the voice doing the reading, so it would be "at least I can listen". And the word you're looking for is therapy. Js.
@@talathewolf6723I think you need an English class.
You need at least one semicolon, different wording and a few other commas
The comment here was about how the people commenting on Reddit didn't read the story right.
REDDIT DOESN'T READ THE STORY FOR YOU
@shadowcollins4589 This video is nothing but reddit being read aloud. As in someone is reading to you. Lmao, I never said I was perfect, but the way therapy is spelled is honestly hilariously awesome. In case you don't know, the phrase "the word you're looking for is therapy" is said frequently by many therapists both with and without their conscious knowledge. If i was trying to be a tyrant about spelling and grammar, there were way more options than just the one word. But you have an awesome day with your assumptions, lmao I bet they serve you well in life and lead you into many wonderful and fulfilling relationships.
Oh god pls -.- Logicly I was revering to reddit story's and a lot of other storys I already read and understood. Do you only listen to reddit story's or what? and never read in your life? Commenter 2 is right and got it
AND I littarly wrote that Im not good in writing. Why would you feel the need to correct my writing????? Gooooddd pls go play autocorrection some where else. Thx
And that part about relationship ? Whats going onnnnnn. That projection level wow
@hennigadient4265 why would I waste time reading reddit when there are real books to learn from. Listening to reddit when doing chores is one thing but, no when I actually read, I want something that's not going to lower my IQ by association. And if I was correcting you I would have made a list of the errors, I did not do that. If you read that much reddit you should probably be in real therapy and then you would actually hear therapist say the exact line I quoted. Grow up dude, you literally just focused solely on the potential negative instead of anything else. Hence why you should probably go see a real therapist. People who only focus on the negative and automatically assume they know the score when they don't know it at all really do tend to ruin their own relationships. As what I had said to the other dude and not to you until now. So you might not want to do that lmao. I hope you have a great day too.
The op’s wife gonna start abusing the kid next when he doesn’t wanna play chess as much or wants to go play a video game with dad.
She was so busy coddling him that is actively hurting him when reality hits. Son is going to blame her for how hurt he is and she will go out of her way to claim it’s his or OP’s fault rather than take responsibility.
Uhh might be a good idea to add in which story your talking about, cause, I was just about to give you a verbal smacking for talking about the lady that LOST HER NEWBORN BABY
I like listening to these videos in the background, but I prefer the older videos where the the stories weren't completely spoiled by the titles.
Story 2, Nta and I'm glad op sister got her head out of her behind but seriously she was stupid as heII to take ex's and his mom's side in the first place,
Him and his sorry excuse of a mother did this to themselves and themselves alone they had no reason not to response to op,
so everything that happened is their own damn fault and have to live with it,
seriously besides op's poor child passing away, I'm happy nobody stuck dealing with these pos ever again, because at this point op can get a ro if they contact her again and they can't even lie to anyone either to harass op since she has all the texts & call longs proofing she contact them and they willingly blocked and ignored her.
Story 1: *SecretVoices beats up SilentVoices* "No, you can't take UA-cam away from me! You have all the other voices! This one is all I have!"
For fucks sake why do people fucking hide how they feel from the people who love them! 😫
This is so boring
The op keeps repeating the same statement over and over again
The OP is writing, the creator is repeating the story
I feel like the reason for that is cause people kept assuming the OP was somehow this crazy abusive monster and he kept having to clarify the fact he wasn't over and over again
Which is irritating but also pretty ridiculous
I'd rather have that than another AI-generated story.
Cause people keep calling him an idiot or an abuser so he has to keep making the point clear
The second story was just vile, the fact that she sister was agreeing with her ex is just disgusting. Your sister lost her baby too. Don’t be a dick when you know your sister is going through a lot. Also the ex and the mother are idiots and OP TRIED To get in contact with the ex but they just blocked it all and then want to whine and cry about not knowing OP’s son died.
I hope that duo sees how much reddit hates them
disappearing sperm donor story screenshot and FB post to his family, work , anyone else that could make his life difficult ... be really descriptive on the pain and loneliness and let them all know they are defending a piece of shit and harassing a grieving mother
Is it just me or story 1 doesn't make any sense? 🤨😂
It makes perfect sense?
It does. What are u yapping about?
Story 1: op has a really big ego. His heart is in the right place but his need of reassuring himself as the one in the right is concerning. I can see how the wife felt attacked by his superiority mannerisms and I can see how it escapes to himself.
I mean, he was being gaslighted, and notted how his son was being affected, but it took him really long to do something about it, not because of concern or insecurity, but because he needed being the one in the right before doing anything
I'm glad everything worked well in the end but I'll suggest talking to a therapist to gain some tools for that, because it could be bad for him to malicious comply 100% of the time (that is just for people you are ok being in bad terms with)
Ya sound like reddit bro ie delusional
You completely misread what he was saying. He doesn't really have an ego he just knew that his wife was intentionally throwing games cause he's a decent chest player. I'm good at fighting games, not great but decent. If i watch a game I can tell if someone is intentionally losing. If Lebron James is watching a basketball game he can tell if someone is intentionally missing shots or turning the ball over. Once you have a better or advance understanding of a game you can tell good plays from bad plays.
He complied cause thats what him and his wife agreed on and she went back on that agreement cause she knew if she lost on purpose the son would rather play with her than him. And then lied about throwing the matches. Thats manipulative and he should feel some type of way about it if his wife is blatantly going against an agreement and lying about it.
His whole problem was he didn't know how to approach the situation. His wife was gaslighting him and made their son prefer playing chest with her instead of him cause of her own insecurities and he didn't know whether to call her out or not.
Plus in the end HE WAS RIGHT about everything. His wife was throwing games to make her son play with her more and was lying about it so he wouldn't ask to his son to play anymore.
Maybe he wanted to be reassured because he Was being gaslighted actually? You know, the manipulation tactic that makes so people doubt their reality and makes them feel like they are going insane? Maybe you are right though, I can't see why someone who's getting their reality fucked over for seemingly no reason would need to be reassured that something is going on
Tf? OP was RIGHT. His wife was gaslighting him and admitted she was doing it (and why). How are you still trying to claim he was 'maliciously complying' in this scenario?
I also have to chime in with my bafflement. He wasn't asking for validation; he was asking for advice to move forward. Most sites discussing gaslighting pretty much say "run and don't look back", which - well, if applied here, probably would've had a worse outcome. So crowdsourcing a solution wasn't a bad idea.
S2, they keep trashing you because they know that they're the ones at fault. Your ex ran away like a child. Ignore them, they know that they're the ah.
✨Communication✨
this isnt an issue of communication its an issue of gaslighting. he stated that he tried to communicate
✨Manipulation✨