@Rachel Garst ...Terry has a *great* deal to offer as an instructor, and: all of this sounds like EFT (wittily repackaged). Especlally 'pursuer / withdrawer' , blaming the cycle, not the partners, and 'the more / the more' - an EFT saying from the get go). Which is great! We call it 'integrative'.
@@PL70015there is way more differentiation in RLT than EFT covers. Terry is very much focused on individual self regulation (vs co-regulation) in order to create a shared relationship connection.
Really recommend his books, esp "Us" for sharing the responsibility for the dynamic and if there is someone acting in a grandiose way, either through hidden shame or due to being brought up with that sense of 'better than'. A lot of info out there saying esp the latter cant change but his books and case studies suggest otherwise.
Blaming the pattern that has trapped both people is genius. Also love the term "angry pursuer".
@Rachel Garst ...Terry has a *great* deal to offer as an instructor, and: all of this sounds like EFT (wittily repackaged). Especlally 'pursuer / withdrawer' , blaming the cycle, not the partners, and 'the more / the more' - an EFT saying from the get go). Which is great! We call it 'integrative'.
@@PL70015there is way more differentiation in RLT than EFT covers. Terry is very much focused on individual self regulation (vs co-regulation) in order to create a shared relationship connection.
Really recommend his books, esp "Us" for sharing the responsibility for the dynamic and if there is someone acting in a grandiose way, either through hidden shame or due to being brought up with that sense of 'better than'. A lot of info out there saying esp the latter cant change but his books and case studies suggest otherwise.
Great point to change their stance. This will help me with the couples I work with. Thank you.
This is written about in detail in Sue Johnson’s book Hold Me Tight
Yes, but Scott Stanley wrote about it long before Sue Johnson. It's systems theory 101 stuff.