AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend after she rejected my proposal twice? - Reddit Stories
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- Опубліковано 18 сер 2023
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AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend after she rejected my proposal twice?
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What would you have done? would you go for a 3rd proposal?
Fuck no. Are you high?
Fuck no
One No is good enough 😂
I’d have asked a second time. But the fact that when asked what would give her assurances and what needs to happen to make her feel safe and her being unable to answer the question, I wouldn’t ask a third time either. I’d also cut my losses. If you’re the type of person where marriage is your endgame, you don’t want to waste time on a person that does not want the same thing from you.
Fuck that bitch for rejecting him twice
She clearly doesn’t want to be married to him, but she also doesn’t want to be alone. In this case Op has to leave and find someone who wants what he does
You can't really blame him, if she's that undecided maybe it's time for him to move on. That's his personal preference.
What exactly was she expecting to happen that it would click to her that a relationship 4 years in was worth it or not? I understand people need some time, and that each relationship has its own pace, but it feels like she herself doesn't know what she wants in a long term relationship. I'd say NTA, life is short, why waste it with a partner who 4 years in still has cold feet.
The fact she isn't sure if she wants to marry him, but wont explain why or try to work out her problems, is a major red flag. She has trust issues.
4 years is freaking ridiculous. If you don't know by then, you probably never will and should just stay single so you don't waste anyone else's time.
Once? Understandable. Twice? Nah, its time to leave, she made her intentions clear enough.
So strange. If she seemed eager to be married, and said she couldn't imagine to be with someone else ...
Huh. Something's not adding up there.
If she said "I want a longer engangement-period" I would've understood.
If they had never before talked about marriage, I would've understood.
If she said, she didn't want to get married, I would've understood.
But something's fishy there.
More than likely she was seeing someone else which is why she changed from wanting to get married to needing more time. She was probably waiting to see if the other guy was going to propose to her.
@@pentifexmonolith Might be the case, as I said, something's not adding up there. At least she's clearly interested in marriage, but clearly not interested in marrying HIM, so if he breaks up because she's wasting his time, I can fully understand him.
she's definitely cheating. My female dog ex said basically the exact same stuff in other words. Which is why it took so long for us to get together. Then I find out she's cheating. This female dog is definitely cheating
Sounds like she's just stringing him along looking for something better. He was right to leave. Either she wants him in her life or she doesn't.
"Get a dog, die alone." If she isn't ready after four years, she'll never be. Stop wasting each other's time.
NTA she deserved it. Also I bet she's cheating on him
He made the right move. If she says all that but still doesn't want to marry him it's because she's holding out for someone else. He's just her acceptable fallback guy.
NTA. I don't understand why she is doing this, because it's alright not to be ready and still say yes. You can very well accept the engagement, as a token of acknowledgement of OP as her life long partner, and just get the wedding done in months, even a few years, whenever things are settled.
Because as it is, for someone who wishes nothing else but to build a family, this is indeed a waste of OP time with no guarantees on the other end.
i don't think it was cold feet with her think there's a deeper meaning to why she don't want to get married it could be something bad like Shes cheating in debt or many other bad reasons or something more neutral but dumb at the same time
These comments be writing fan theory’s
@@potatogaming7044Because without them, there's no logical reason to her actions.
If she just doesn't want to get married, she can be upfront. If she does, she accepts, it's that simple.
The fact that she's doing neither is a sign that something else is going on.
@@potatogaming7044remember she also agree on marriage idea... til the proposal attempts happened
Nta. She clearly has a different goal in life from yours.
''But not right now''
aka i'm still looking to see if there is a better deal so i can monkey branch if there aren't then ok
She's likely cheating and wants to continue with her side piece and keep OP as backup
She's waiting for someone better. If she is as eager to marry as OP says, and still says no after being together for years. Sorry, mate. You're a placeholder, and she's probably waiting for someone else.
Feb 29th exists
Never ask twice
"Not right now" means if all else fails i can go with you but for now im keeping my options open just incase a man of my dreams shows up. Proposing twice is even crazy, once is enough to end the relationship permanently on the spot. Find a girl that truly values you & cant wait to lock you down bro.
In this case I agree. If it was relatively recent they got to know each other, that would be something else. But not when youre years into it. I do believe people should generally take good time and get too know each other well before marriage, but this is going too far
They've been together four years and she doesn't know if it'll work? 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 run and never look back
Reverse the genders and see street properties telling you why you wasted so many years of her life.
I hate videos like this that don't show the replies WHICH IS THE WHOLE POINT
The literal name of the channel is TLDR storyteller, what do you expect? If you don't like it just move on and acknowledge it's not your cup of tea.
The op in the story is right. They have been dating for 4 years, what kind of insurance does she need? There a are a lot of couples who have been together for multiple years like 20 years but still aren't married because they just don't want to. If that's the case why didn't she just tell him though. I fell like there is something deeper to the situation, im not trying to say that she is cheating but what other conclusion can we come up with?
She Don't like Marriage She can Geeeet ouuut
So he clarfies that they talked about marriage before the first proposal attempt, which is good, but did he talk to her about it more in the year between attempts? Did he ask her what she's working on and if she feels like she's worked through it yet? I feel like he shouldn't have gone for the second attempt without first getting confirmation that she's worked through whatever was holding her back in the first place (insecurities, jealousy, codependency, debt, body image issues, trust issues, family issues that could get weird after marriage, being unsure about whether she wants kids... there's a lot of reasons why someone could not feel ready for marriage yet). If he proposed to her again without talking to her about those issues that were holding her back the first time, I think he's the a-hole for putting her on the spot for a second time, though he certainly can break up with her if he feels like they're in two different stages and he's ready for marriage when she's not. If they did talk about it and she gave him positive signs but then rejected him again, then he's NTA
that's a very good answer, and the most appropriate one I believe.
If your not ready for marriage you shouldn’t be in any long term/committed relationship with someone who wants to get married in the first place or tell someone “I’m no ready yet” as if you’ll be ready soon. He isn’t an asshole for wanting to end his relationship after 4 years of his life were wasted.
You didn’t watch the video did you? She said she was open to marriage and willing to before the first proposal. Also there’s no “on the spot” for a proposal when it’s not in a crowded restaurant. If she has all those problems she shouldn’t be in a multi year relationship talking about marriage.
@@ganymedehedgehog371 Before the FIRST proposal. Obviously her claims about wanting marriage were proven wrong after she turned down the first proposal, so I'd consider that conversation to be back to square one after that. They should've talked about it again - and they might have! The post just doesn't say for sure whether they discussed it again. And yeah, if she has some issue holding her back from getting married, she shouldn't be in a relationship with someone who wants marriage, which is why I said it's fair for him to break up with her either way.
Except in the story he asked her TWICE what exactly was holding her back. He wanted to know why not now so they could work things all and all she gave was "I'm not in a good place. I need more time" twice. That literally doesn't explain anything and he said she wouldn't say anything else. He had the right to leave
NTA though i would say he mabey should have givin it a day or two after she said no the second time to break it off with her. Givin himself some time to think it over, but ya' NTA and i would have done the same thing. if after a year she couldnt articulate herself better then "I just want to make sure this will work" for a reason to say no, then I think he owed it to himself to break it off. he clearly had priorties she did not share, and she seemed intent on not comunicating about why. As he would have had no right to demand she marry him, she has no right to demand he wait for her. If he had wanted to do so for another year, that would have been great, but I frankly wouldnt have.
Lol she's just looking for better options while holding you as a backup
No
You need better friends
Op is nta
No one the a hole.
Neither of them did anything wrong. It’s kinda sad though. There relationship was salvageable
Also. You don’t have to be married to love each other.
Now thats a ridiculous take and excuse me if you will because I mean no offense. Being married isn’t about love it’s about commitment and responsibility if someone doesn’t want to share that commitment then it’s a waste of time regardless of love especially if OP wanted to get married. It’s about time that we stop the nonsense and grow up. Op’s girlfriend is clearly the asshole that doesn’t want to communicate or work on the relationship even though she totally can. She wants all the benefits of a relationship without any of the responsibilities and without putting the work. Op’s better off without her, she’s just stringing him along.
nta
Nta
wrf is wrong with people ?! why are they so invested in other people's lives?! why are they sooo eager to intervene ?! since when is meddling in people's business okay ????? and how the f can they think that their opinion matters in somebody else's relationships ?! And you're definitely not the AH for breaking up with her but you're the AH for not putting them in their places
She said she wasn’t ready personally and he gave her one year, like wtf? Then again the proposal was with family and friends as it seems, putting even more pressure on her. Ofc it’s painful to get rejected but it’s also painful when he gives her the feeling that his love for her isn’t UNCONDITIONAL and tied to marriage.
Also he obviously didn’t talk to her about what was going on and if she was cheating or something, there would be no reason for her not to say “yes” as she literally wouldn’t care about him at all.
Maybe you’re too young to understand that time is more valuable than anything else. 1 year is a long time for a multi year relationship. You can’t ask someone to put their life on hold forever.
You also weren’t paying attention when he said the proposal was private and not in front of people. Marriage is also pretty much the end goal of a successful relationship.
Both proposals were private and she NEVER gave him a real reason the two times she asked. Just she wasn't in a good place and needed more time.
@@ganymedehedgehog371 well I understood it wrong because his friends helped him. BUT I am not too young and I am now 7 years with my soulmate. We talk about marriage but it’s no must. Your comment about “marriage is pretty much the end goal of a SUCCESSFUL relationship” is disrespectful af and kinda dumb (sorry found no word that was more polite), considering how many marriages break when it was the end goal of a successful marriage.
yta. You could just wait
He quite literally did! For 4 years! Were you not listening?
@@sitbackreact5523 4 years is nothing
Waited for four years. Wait how many more years??? If he's gonna wait all those years on her still by her side and she's just gonna break it off in five minutes, HE'LL have wasted all HIS years. He wants to settle down, he has the right to leave when she literally doesn't communicate with him WHY not now. He asked her twice why not and she gave the same, blank response. She obviously doesn't care for him, why should he stick by her?
he is in the wrong. his reaction was so childish. hes just thinking about himself and want he wants bruh...she dodged a frking nuke bomb there lol
He isn't in the wrong. If he waited a whole year to ask again he clearly isn't just thinking about himself. bro wants to get married and the girl didn't want to.
pathetic
What’s he supposed to do? Wait another few years for her to maybe be ready? If she doesn’t want to commit that’s on her but he wanted marriage and clearly she’s holding out for someone else.
Did your Mommy help you have that opinion? Because it's kind of hard to think that you know anything about relationship problems, and know who's in the wrong, when you don't even know how to spell past a fourth grade level.
You expect him to waste forever waiting to see if she'll ever be ready?? That's not fair to him. Why doesn't she gave a straight answer or explain WHY she isn't ready??? She didn't communicate with him anything, he asked twice for clarification and she brushed him off and gave him mixed signals. NTA