My 19yo lifelong VERY girly girl suddenly started showing interest in transitioning in the last 1-2years after joining a "LGBTQIA+ Club" at school. Even though we live in a very conservative town, it seems to be the new way to rebel around here during that developmental phase of late teen to young adult establishing identity and autonomy. My 17yo son who is high functioning autistic and has always been very linear and masculine in goals/interests/strengths had a girlfriend for a year or so to whom he was very dedicated. Her sibling (male) was going by they/them and insisting on a female name. When they broke up, the girlfriend completely ostracized him from any friends he had by trash talking him. He then started hanging out with the same club/group of friends as my 19yo daughter and identifying as bisexual and borrowing his sister's skirt and getting emails under a female name and strongly supporting socialism etc. It's like this has become the one size foods all cute all for any of the normal teen stress, normal identity crisis phase, breakups, loneliness, etc. I NEED a therapist like you guys here in our town for the kids and for me/my spouse.
Oh my goodness!! We were definitely not perfect, but the last part about the fantasy vs threshold for distress vs being ungrateful vs being labeled a narcissist vs rewriting history, etc was totally my experience with my now 23 yo who became an addict/alcoholic. I have often questioned why teens I took in or worked with who had been terribly abused were so much better behaved, respectful, and grateful than my kids who I've strived to do the absolute best for throughout their childhood. The extreme reaction to very appropriate expectations and boundaries completely threw me off and took me by surprise. We warned all of our children that they were high risk for addiction from an age at which they could understand and always taught them to avoid addictive substances to protect themselves but she just fell in with friends who often lied to their parents, did drugs, drank, and insisted on high risk behavior.
One thing that I've done consistently is to declare my past and current support of the LGB Community. I believe my son is Bisexual or Gay and I want him to know that he has my total acceptance and support in that. What I can't support is his hurting himself physically. Something I don't hear anything about is the kids who have already been alienated by a parent against the other after divorce. They have already been emotionally abused and are in a cult of one. I believe his migration to a cult of many was so easily accomplished as a "cure" for the abuse he is suffering from.
if you stop kids from dressing a certain way, it will just further reinforce in their minds that you have to become the opposite sex to be able to dress that way. it’s better to let them dress how they want but to still use sex based pronouns and their actual name to show them it’s ok to not be a hyperfeminine woman or masculine man. i heard this worked for some parents before
I always find your use of the word "evil" a bit surprising and uncomfortable, but it seems to map closely to "toxic" and "cruel" which are equally applicable.
When speaking of "neuroplastistity" it's important to understand that this is a female phenomenon. The male brain does not work in the ways that women think it does.
Thank you beautiful women who are dedicated to helping us parents in this painful situation.
As a newish parent of a ROGD kiddo I found this extremely helpful and became an immediate subscriber ~
thank you 💗💗💗
Welcome to my channel! Check out my new course for parents like you at rogdrepair.com
Excellent Conversation!
My 19yo lifelong VERY girly girl suddenly started showing interest in transitioning in the last 1-2years after joining a "LGBTQIA+ Club" at school. Even though we live in a very conservative town, it seems to be the new way to rebel around here during that developmental phase of late teen to young adult establishing identity and autonomy. My 17yo son who is high functioning autistic and has always been very linear and masculine in goals/interests/strengths had a girlfriend for a year or so to whom he was very dedicated. Her sibling (male) was going by they/them and insisting on a female name. When they broke up, the girlfriend completely ostracized him from any friends he had by trash talking him. He then started hanging out with the same club/group of friends as my 19yo daughter and identifying as bisexual and borrowing his sister's skirt and getting emails under a female name and strongly supporting socialism etc. It's like this has become the one size foods all cute all for any of the normal teen stress, normal identity crisis phase, breakups, loneliness, etc. I NEED a therapist like you guys here in our town for the kids and for me/my spouse.
Oh my goodness!! We were definitely not perfect, but the last part about the fantasy vs threshold for distress vs being ungrateful vs being labeled a narcissist vs rewriting history, etc was totally my experience with my now 23 yo who became an addict/alcoholic. I have often questioned why teens I took in or worked with who had been terribly abused were so much better behaved, respectful, and grateful than my kids who I've strived to do the absolute best for throughout their childhood. The extreme reaction to very appropriate expectations and boundaries completely threw me off and took me by surprise. We warned all of our children that they were high risk for addiction from an age at which they could understand and always taught them to avoid addictive substances to protect themselves but she just fell in with friends who often lied to their parents, did drugs, drank, and insisted on high risk behavior.
I’m sorry to hear that. Please check out ROGDrepair.com. Most parents who try my program report they only wish they’d had it sooner. Good luck!
Dear Stephanie,
Thank you for the podcast. How can I contact you? (I’m from the UK).
Book a discovery call using links in show notes!
One thing that I've done consistently is to declare my past and current support of the LGB Community. I believe my son is Bisexual or Gay and I want him to know that he has my total acceptance and support in that. What I can't support is his hurting himself physically. Something I don't hear anything about is the kids who have already been alienated by a parent against the other after divorce. They have already been emotionally abused and are in a cult of one. I believe his migration to a cult of many was so easily accomplished as a "cure" for the abuse he is suffering from.
Welcome to my channel! Check out my new course for parents like you at rogdrepair.com
@@sometherapist There are very few parents like me. My son will be 35. Losing all hope after 15 years of trying everything experts have recommended.
if you stop kids from dressing a certain way, it will just further reinforce in their minds that you have to become the opposite sex to be able to dress that way. it’s better to let them dress how they want but to still use sex based pronouns and their actual name to show them it’s ok to not be a hyperfeminine woman or masculine man. i heard this worked for some parents before
I always find your use of the word "evil" a bit surprising and uncomfortable, but it seems to map closely to "toxic" and "cruel" which are equally applicable.
When speaking of "neuroplastistity" it's important to understand that this is a female phenomenon. The male brain does not work in the ways that women think it does.
Howso?
What do you mean by that?