Drinking Alone Monologue April 29, 2014

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  • Опубліковано 29 кві 2014
  • Need a reason to drink alone? Pete has you covered. More Pete and Crew @ peteholmes.com
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  • Комедії

КОМЕНТАРІ • 112

  • @EgoSumSimia
    @EgoSumSimia 10 років тому +39

    Funnily enough, I just started keeping my whiskey in a square crystal decanter. It takes more effort to get the booze into it and it is more awkward to pour but, goddamn it, I love that thing.

    • @peteholmes
      @peteholmes  10 років тому +47

      Very classy! Add a sport coat, turtleneck, and fluffy cat to the mix and we'd be honored to have you hunt us on your private island.

    • @me140202
      @me140202 10 років тому +4

      Pete Holmes The most dangerous game! cheers pete... JAGER BOMBS!

    • @EgoSumSimia
      @EgoSumSimia 10 років тому +17

      Pete Holmes A turtleneck was a bitch to find, however purchasing a private island was relatively easy.
      lh3.googleusercontent.com/-fwJC_zATCH0/U2Vmu2_5grI/AAAAAAAAArU/3Gfg62ztmIM/w1037-h553-no/Let+the+Hunt+Begin.jpg
      Let the hunt begin!
      (Fun Fact: My rifle is loaded with hugs)

    • @adriansi4852
      @adriansi4852 7 років тому

      Ego Simia b Iowa J J J buong h in job b up hujbjjb8bub

    • @calviincalifornia4048
      @calviincalifornia4048 5 років тому +2

      and you never have to clean it, because alcohol!

  • @gumpthegreat1
    @gumpthegreat1 10 років тому +61

    Pete seems like he would be a cool guy to hang out with.

  • @Shibumi925
    @Shibumi925 10 років тому +63

    This is my absolute favorite monologue from Pete thus far! These are so much better than the one-liner news jokes that other late night shows do. Keep up the great work guys 'n gals!

    • @peteholmes
      @peteholmes  10 років тому +51

      Thanks for the high praise, Mark! Subscribe for all the monologues and more goodness.

  • @LokiOwl
    @LokiOwl 9 років тому +14

    This might have been the best, funniest, and most self deprecating bit I've ever seen.

  • @mathewwhiteford9014
    @mathewwhiteford9014 10 років тому +33

    that was the best ending ever...

  • @friday13thirteen
    @friday13thirteen 10 років тому +55

    i'm drinking a whiskey alone while i watch this. you're my people, pete.

    • @danielvile9916
      @danielvile9916 6 років тому +1

      friday13thirteen glass of calico Jack right here💪🏻😏

  • @flamepan
    @flamepan 10 років тому +15

    omg Pete really did just reference The Most Dangerous Game

  • @MickeRamone
    @MickeRamone 10 років тому +6

    Genious....just genious!! This show is thebest!

    • @peteholmes
      @peteholmes  10 років тому +9

      Glad you like it! Subscribe for all the latest and greatest from the show.

    • @hendrixfan2984
      @hendrixfan2984 8 років тому +3

      You're the man Pete

  • @licenselessrider4486
    @licenselessrider4486 7 років тому +11

    Im drinking alone watching this rite now

  • @markhaywood7375
    @markhaywood7375 9 років тому +9

    This is my favorite monologue so far, I lost it when you screamed jaeger bomb! My new favorite comedian, and great show!

  • @Youdoyouyeah
    @Youdoyouyeah 10 років тому +12

    Love your show Pete! The vibe is so much better than the monotony of late night television.
    Whatever happens to your show Pete, there's no doubting you're made for this. Keep me laughing Mr Holmes! (Just pictured you with a monocle and a straight hat... Hilarious!)

  • @zacharycook5725
    @zacharycook5725 8 років тому +2

    Pete i was crushed when your show got canceled! your monologues were the greatest thing in talk show television not only were they funny but all of them had a lesson and made you think.......i cant wait to see where you career takes you because your destined for great things!

  • @mxtw7910
    @mxtw7910 3 роки тому +1

    “This ones on me” fkin brilliant 😂👏🏽

  • @DCSTadi1337
    @DCSTadi1337 9 років тому +12

    God damn it I really like Pete Holmes

  • @byronjohnson4097
    @byronjohnson4097 2 роки тому +1

    So glad this is online - I remember seeing this years ago and cracking up, and it's still hilarious!

  • @MrKrolme
    @MrKrolme 10 років тому +20

    What a way to end it, lmao!

    • @peteholmes
      @peteholmes  10 років тому +20

      Thanks Krolme, be sure to subscribe to our channel for plenty more hj-related humor.

  • @Livinaliyahloca
    @Livinaliyahloca 10 років тому +5

    The most dangerous game reference!

  • @WalkbetwixtWorlds
    @WalkbetwixtWorlds 9 років тому +5

    Thank you for this Pete.

  • @lovingthelessloved3679
    @lovingthelessloved3679 3 роки тому +1

    this show got me through some really tough times. thanks

  • @StarShopChannel
    @StarShopChannel 10 років тому +2

    HOME ALONE DRUNK! I love it!

  • @glizzygoblin-nl2uh
    @glizzygoblin-nl2uh 4 роки тому +1

    Pete holmes always makes me feel better, bring pete back 2020

  • @Ereyes238isback
    @Ereyes238isback 8 років тому +2

    Pete Holmes always makes me happy to work. It's the great vibe he gives off, everything is sort of positive and he finds it.

  • @moonpisser
    @moonpisser 10 років тому +5

    I love drinking alone, too, man. It really can by classy.

    • @jupitorious7925
      @jupitorious7925 5 років тому

      Cold beers.. a wonderful view, great music, no conversation...! Bliss

  • @Cove_Ops
    @Cove_Ops 5 років тому

    I'm drinking alone right now on Christmas eve. How does UA-cam know to suggest this video. Stop spying on me UA-cam. In other news, I need more Pete Holmes in my life.

  • @NatalieSpa888
    @NatalieSpa888 8 років тому +1

    "My owner hunts people" Gah!!!! Prrrrrrrrrr... LOL

  • @MacChuck
    @MacChuck 10 років тому +2

    Best and the truest monologue i've ever heard! You're the man Pete!
    Big blesses from Sweden!

  • @dalmatianlover27
    @dalmatianlover27 10 років тому

    I've watched all the monologues since the Enrique Iglesias monologue while eating dinner and I have to remind myself to eat slowly and not drink water because every time Pete and his writers have me laughing so hard, I literally can't breathe! LOVE THIS SHOW ;D

  • @danielberube8836
    @danielberube8836 10 років тому +2

    Great bit, he's an amazing standup

  • @aponiaa
    @aponiaa 9 років тому +10

    I prefer drinking alone! And even if you're planning on getting drunk, I think it's safer to do that at home...

  • @PlaidRocker32
    @PlaidRocker32 7 років тому +1

    Boy Meets World is hilarious even when sober.

  • @barakdan1858
    @barakdan1858 2 роки тому

    "If i make another stupid analogy would you get my point?" 😂🤣 Hilarious

  • @Goooodawgs561
    @Goooodawgs561 8 років тому +2

    This is the best monologue in all of monologues

  • @ikillzuepicly316
    @ikillzuepicly316 10 років тому +1

    This is sparta!!!

  • @sinenkoalexander
    @sinenkoalexander Рік тому

    Watching this as I drink by myself 😂

  • @meurtri9312
    @meurtri9312 10 років тому +1

    amaahzing

  • @GhostDrops1
    @GhostDrops1 3 роки тому

    The ending punchline is genius

  • @galaxytraveler5779
    @galaxytraveler5779 9 років тому +9

    Too bad his show got canceled..

    • @TheShadowOfHumanity
      @TheShadowOfHumanity 8 років тому +2

      Every good show gets cancelled yet there is like 8 million seasons of American Idol. The world is a stupid place.

    • @galaxytraveler5779
      @galaxytraveler5779 8 років тому +1

      I know it makes zero sense. Most of the best music I have ever heard has a few thousand views while songs like 'Gangnum style' have billions...

  • @freddymeisner
    @freddymeisner 9 років тому +6

    Hey man you made a fan from this shit hahah youre so fucking funny

  • @dgmisal1979
    @dgmisal1979 6 років тому +1

    I have a corduroy blazer with suede patches on the elbows.

  • @swiftslick
    @swiftslick 10 років тому +1

    You had me at "Free booze".

  • @Loganjeezynz
    @Loganjeezynz 8 років тому +1

    Purrrrr-petuity 😂😂

  • @sitcomboobs
    @sitcomboobs 10 років тому +16

    Pete would've made a good Brienne of Tarth.

  • @youtubaolic
    @youtubaolic 10 років тому +1

    for some reason, i just feel like Pete Holmes and Mamrie Hart would totally be best buddy

  • @dirtpoorchris
    @dirtpoorchris 10 років тому +1

    Palmala knows just how every guy likes it.

  • @samholder196
    @samholder196 Рік тому

    This show was unapologetically itself -- i miss it

  • @courtneyhinch2673
    @courtneyhinch2673 10 років тому +1

    The Boy Meets World DVD was always funny, Pete.

  • @The_Fat_Turtle
    @The_Fat_Turtle 10 років тому +3

    I drink alone all the time, it's pretty fucking awesome. I drink just enough to keep a decent buzz going and then get tired and fall asleep.

  • @FrydaWolff
    @FrydaWolff 10 років тому +4

    Pete: A Christian boy permanently working through his recovery with entertaining.

  • @tims6246
    @tims6246 4 місяці тому

    i drink alone ,with nobody else. you know when i drink alone , i prefer to beat by myself

  • @hendythehalfwit
    @hendythehalfwit Рік тому

    Really? No comments "post pandemic"? I really am drinking alone. Good stuff, Pete. Slainte!

    • @hendythehalfwit
      @hendythehalfwit Рік тому

      I found a few. Forgive me. I've been drinking.

  • @CrazyCatMan13
    @CrazyCatMan13 10 років тому +4

    i drink alone all the time. mainly because i get asian glow after an ounce of alcohol and it's embarrassing...

  • @justinroca932
    @justinroca932 11 місяців тому

    Most fun i ever had was drinking by myself

  • @directfader
    @directfader 10 років тому +2

    Hey Pete, was that Usher song at 1:46 the same song you kept singing when you were on Jake and Amir's live recording of their podcast at NY ComicCon?

  • @mikeoxsbigg1
    @mikeoxsbigg1 9 років тому +5

    I hope you get a webshow or podcast or more high with Doug. Whatever works.

    • @Element43
      @Element43 8 років тому +7

      He has a podcast called You Made It Weird

    • @swoodmakesart
      @swoodmakesart 8 років тому +1

      +Mike Oxsbigg Check out his podcast on SoundCloud it is really great

  • @WINZ0W
    @WINZ0W 10 років тому +1

    Oh Topanga.

  • @jqpublic3104
    @jqpublic3104 2 роки тому

    I'm literally drinking alone watching this while the wife is out.

  • @BelaCurcio
    @BelaCurcio 3 роки тому +1

    I had to click on this because I'm currently drinking alone. Although I feel like it's different now in quarantine it's just like expected. wtf else is there to do

  • @sojournersunrise2290
    @sojournersunrise2290 Рік тому

    confess!!

  • @calviincalifornia4048
    @calviincalifornia4048 5 років тому +1

    cant drive drunk if youre already home! :) cant get arrested either!
    but, you cant wake with an extra $37 in your pocket you have no idea how you got..

  • @Alien_nation
    @Alien_nation 4 роки тому

    I drink alone and look at old pictures of myself

  • @ianfernandocarrillo7818
    @ianfernandocarrillo7818 3 роки тому

    what was that song at 1:45? ua-cam.com/video/sFg5Yye2nqk/v-deo.html

  • @ppalavichkoo
    @ppalavichkoo 6 років тому +1

    420k subscribers hmmmm...

  • @jakestoneking5555
    @jakestoneking5555 5 років тому +1

    Yeah, I don't like to get _that_ drunk with other people. I'd sooner they see me doing nude interpretive break-dancing than seeing me when I'm that drunk.
    To paraphrase Pete: It's a favor that sober me does for drunk me. Thanks sober me!

  • @elykspuz6596
    @elykspuz6596 4 роки тому

    Everyone forgets about Kevin *drinks straight Jim Beam from the bottle*

  • @martindwm
    @martindwm 9 років тому +1

    Is this John Ritter's Brother? Looks similar.

  • @ChillAtWill
    @ChillAtWill 10 років тому +2

    It was pretty PG till the end and that's when i laughed my ass off....

  • @Ian-nw6vq
    @Ian-nw6vq 4 роки тому

    OI GET BACK ON YA HORSE, WANT MORE

  • @mohammedyafih9656
    @mohammedyafih9656 2 роки тому

    Anybody still watching this

  • @GangnamDuck
    @GangnamDuck 10 років тому

    k Pete, entertain me

  • @The_Infamous_Boogyman
    @The_Infamous_Boogyman Рік тому

    We know you drink Pete, we've seen the white tongue. Been there. Be good. 😅

  • @mikeflix1598
    @mikeflix1598 3 роки тому

    Home Alone Drunk, I would love to see a rated R version of that, where the drunk teenager gets murdered 30 minutes in, blood and body parts all over the house, cause Antifa breaks in, but tries to cover it up in each room, the news companies show up, but "miss" all the important info and proof, evidence, cause they're incompetent paid off tools controlled by media corps, and they just say "darn, too bad, move on
    To the next story". All being done satirically. That would be a great movie.

  • @joedadday9240
    @joedadday9240 8 років тому +4

    Am I the only one that got "The Most Dangerous Game" reference?

  • @RR11333
    @RR11333 7 років тому +2

    I love Pete Holmes, but I feel like the people in charge really fucked it all up with lack of imagination. They took a silly comedian and put him on a tryhard-looking stage with business-casual attire like everyone was supposed to know who he was. Why? Let him wear a t-shirt. Make the stage so shitty its becomes more and more problematic each show. Make it look like he's trying real hard to come up as a comedian. This is the guy who talks about drinking alone or wearing a bathrobe in public. Try that shtick in business attire on a professional set and you're guaranteed to lose.

  • @Kaid10us
    @Kaid10us 8 років тому

    What the f**k is a cigarette machine?

    • @Kaid10us
      @Kaid10us 8 років тому +1

      This show is hecka funny. I watch old Pete Holmes shows and stand up stand up on UA-cam because is great comedy. Like Bad man... Just thinking about makes me laugh till I cry. I want to see Pete Holmes on Chris Hardwick show @Midnight. He would kill me with laughter.lol😂😂😂😂😂🖖🏾😎

  • @Exigentable
    @Exigentable 10 років тому +1

    BEN SAVAGE REALLY IS THE BEST SAVAGE BROTHER THOUGH
    FRED IS OVERRATED

  • @rubyvansoelen5961
    @rubyvansoelen5961 3 роки тому

    Doesn't get how everyone describes him as an alcoholic when he mentions he drinks at home.
    continues to make fun of the fact that he does literally all the tell tale signs of an alcoholic.
    Yep, this just sounds like a working alcoholic in denial rather than a comedy show

  • @dgmisal1979
    @dgmisal1979 6 років тому +1

    I have a corduroy blazer with suede patches on the elbows.