I’ve got ten years experience teaching in south side Chicago, I’d leave my job right now to teach science in The Dillon Charter School Network. My curriculum units would include “MK Ultra & You” “Magic Bullets and the Bush Family” and “SSRIs for Dummies”, I will accept cash/jewels for grades.
I was thinking of teaching a quiche cooking class. There's nothing quite like a nice baked quiche
This year has destroyed me, Tim here has picked me up so I can now proudly abandon my family and join the clique of drug addicts who hang out at the Dollar General in my uncle’s neighborhood. Life in the big city
Do some h, have a good time etc it's the end sooner or later. Life in the big city indeed.
Tim out here looking like Macaulay Culkin started selling subprime mortgages after Home Alone
@@astuteandy bbq chicken pizza and Micheal Jackson, The diet of only the finest blue collar crimbos
Andy Spann more like after a 10 year love affair with pain pills 💊 💊 💊
@@Wandering_Chemist Cocaine was his true mistress during that decade, the pain pills were just an avenue for anesthesia-like sleep and to help forget about the 6 hour brutal banging you received from a Marriott Bell Boy.
Lol Tim’s ad reads are funnier than other comedians entire podcasts
Exactly. This and tiger belly i actually laugh at or at least entertaining.
9/11: A Closer Look. Yeah I needed that class Mr. Dillon
Alright children, let's take a look at the last names of the individuals that didn't show up to work at the towers that day. Is there anything that stands out about these names?
Ben looks like a Russian professional chess player from the 80s.
Genuinely the funniest most on point comment ever. This deserves way more attention
And the Bass player from. All them Witches, honestly thought it was him at first
Ben, blink if your ankles are chained to the bottom of the table. We WILL find you!
@@briang9386
Yeah, wait till a joint operations force breaks the doors down in a shed on easter island only to find that it was a front.
All the dislikes are from school teachers on summer vacation.
All kidding aside, teachers in New Jersey have to return to work with a living will, pretty scary.
Yeah it’s suppose to be scary, all this is is just fearmongering, the only question is if your dumb enough to buy into it.
Tim Dillon really out here solidifying himself as the funniest person on the planet.
The tim dillon show is the only show i actually look forward to every week
me too. may i suggest Issues with Andy on yt and doug standhope @ dougstanhope. flesh it out tues and fri. saves me
@@PT-tv9my yay! hope ya like!
i guess issues with andy might make more sense if you're already a stanhope fan:)
they are sort of like the decadent dessert after the gourmet filet mignon and scotch of stanhope. Andy Andrist is another tortured comedy god and old friends of the 'Hope
i was happy to learn our demi-Tim has them on his radar, and i hope likewise. Tim and Stanhope together might just make my brain explode--in a good way:())
Tim looks like he took an entire rotisserie chicken to the dome and then used his hair as a napkin....
..but hey, that's just life in the big city.
A teacher here 👋 didn't realize I was going to get roasted today 😂😂😂 I consider it a privilege to be roasted by Tim!
Ben frantically scrabbling to find the right info so Tim doesnt yell at him was intense.
He just needs to understand that’s it’s not a game 🙃 if anything he needs to vape more
How nervous is Ben when he's like, I can't find any that don't have the US as #1. 😂
Tim basically treats Ben publicly like everyone thinks joe treats Jamie off camera
"the six women who listen to this show"
I feel seen, thanks Tim
Not sure what it says about us, but I look forward to this every week for a while now. Maybe we can meet up once the apocalypse really kicks off. ✌️
I need a "Yes or Yes" shirt ASAP
I have a shit saying "don't. " shout out to schitts creek. Gizzle didn't kill herself
i hate when girls check me out so this is going to make them scared, or horny, you never know
911 a closer look with Mr. Dillon. That’s a class I wanna sign up for right away.
Ellen used to beat me with a rolled up news paper if I she didnt like what I wore to a taping
"I know you can't make jokes but at least try to understand them when they happen" SAVAGE!
Urban HS English teacher here. A lot of what you're saying is valid (and hilarious!), but what you're missing is that the truly good teachers are held back by school-site administrators, the district, and the state. They truly do know how to teach properly, but they don't get any support. The parents complain, and the principal threatens them and makes them change students' grades. The principals do this to keep their statistics healthy so that they can keep their 6-figure salaries. Even if the principals care, the superindentents are always breathing down their necks, and the principals *always* sacrifice you to defend their salaries.
Not surprised Tim went to Trinity, the public school of Catholic schools.
This one was an all-timer. When the Keto Kid takes aim, he don't miss.
I'm a teacher and I admit, it's pretty great making 60k for only 8 months of work, and only few hours each day at that. You'll never hear me complain.
Thank you for being honest. Iam sure the fresh new young tail every year is a bonus, Right!
Tim is dressed sharp like a best buy employee expecting the regional manager to drop by any minute.
Literally rhinestoning a cup when he says only 6 women are listening and we are crafty. 💀 deceased
Tim dillon is a national treasure
I’m a middle school teacher and I’m already dying laughing 4 minutes in...
You are a hot middle school teacher with enough screws loose to love our fearless jester. When can we expect to see you in the New York Post?
Oh shit your literally the inspiration for all the boys first beat off sessions 😂
With that hair. I never realized Timmy boy was the superman we needed all along
"Not only is the quality of the public school system horrendous, but its cost is extraordinary. America's public primary schools spent $5,246 per pupil on average during 1989.12 That is $130,000 for a classroom of 25 students.13 Furthermore this is above that of many private schools. Of the approximately $212 million spent on education through high school in 1989,14 only 40 percent went towards teachers' pay (West, 1983).15
Where did the other $100 billion plus go? Far too much goes to administrators and bureaucrats." - Andrew Young, Walter Block
I taught for almost 15 years. The administration building was the same size as one of our high schools (400 students on average).
@@fadedcharacter8481 Yup administrators live high on the hog but that is nothing you should see all the goodies mayors, sheriffs, and DA's get in major metros. I went to an open meeting for a journalism class all my regions govt's participate in because it is a federal program. They're eating catered delivery gourmet sandwiches after their 15 min meeting that is open to the public by law but no one goes too. They were shocked I was there and didn't seem to want me there till I asked if this was an open meeting as by law and told them that I was a student journalist then all the sudden they were super gracious. Weird right? Then they sent me home with a bunch of free sandwiches since "we won't eat it all". Like wtf? The waste is astounding. The perks are obnoxious. Why do they get to eat on our dime? What fucking jobs feed you? That on top of the 6 figure salaries each of those fat balding bloated bodies collect for 15 min worth of fucking work. Holy shit we are so fucked.
That was 1989
Today, they spend $10,000 to $12,000 per child, per year.
I've homeschooled my children for 10 years & including piano, weekly co-op classes, art classes, soccer, football, e.t.c.... I spend less than $1,200 per year, per kid.
Some of their classes are taught by professionals, like when my 12 year old daughter wanted to learn CPR.
"The good teachers stay silent about the bad one". My mother is a teacher and that's completely true. The best is when some of them refuse to be called teachers and insist on being called "educators".
This is still podcast that so many "educators" need to hear because it's only gotten worse since this was recorded. Where I live they are trying to go on strike! And you know what, the kids do deserve a good break from the bad ones, summer is never enough.
Sue TBS for the 4 dollars they’re worth Tim.
To be fair, for a pack of Marlboro Light's and a Beefeater Martini, he's the new CEO of syndicated Seth MacFarlane cartoons and the most abysmal original programming on Cable, slightly edging out TNT.
I'll front the cigs to make it happen
Andy Spann is that better or worse than TruTV with 24/7 Impractical Jokers marathons and seven different tow truck reality shows?
@@jasoninthehood9726 TBS is better, but only because of brand recognition and absurd longevity in a saturated market.
I'd personally rather watch scripted shows about fictitious Repossession companies, or even the frighteningly cruel mockery of comedians careers that never were, than one more fucking episode from season 1-4 of Family Guy. That shit should be banned under the Geneva Convention.
Tim and his producer can't even figure out the stats on American education because they are themselves the product of that system
Nick so tragic. I rely on comics for accurate government data as well. Shame on them.
Totally lost it at the “i’m sad” tik tok song
He's currently in my HUMBLE OPINION one of the most interesting controversial modern comedian!
That's interesting I think of him as an older generation style more than anything, maybe 80's ish. am I right? Yes or Yes!?
Hearing “ladies & gentleman welcome to the Time Dillon show” just makes me happy.
The hair is greasy. And I'm tuned in.
Tim looking like a Chris Farley Gavin Newsom hybrid.
The keto kid looking good.
It’s not grease, It’s lube..... keep your facts as straight as Timmy D
only podcast where the ads are just as good as the dialogue
Wow his flow around 40:00 reminds me of Bull Hicks so much. Love you tim ❤️
oh damn daddy got the slick back hair
Been a listener since you've had 30k subscribers. I even remortgaged my home to buy your high cost low quality products. Now I'm fighting cats for scraps of rotten fancy feast and pimping out my girlfriend to acquire jewels by Podcaster Tim Dillon. It's a real knife fight out here, but that's life in the big city.
@@ProudFilthyCasual im just in the alley drinking beer from a burger King cup.
As a teacher who couldn’t take more than two years of teaching I wholeheartedly agree with you. Teaching is a dead profession it should
all be online especially after elementary school. No student can pay attention in class after smart phones were invented.
Kids learn more watching Tim Dillon show than what they’ll ever learn at school
Thanks Tim. Life is kinda weird right now. Im waking up at 4 am in the morning everyday , not really knowing what to do.
Thanks to your podcast , now i can feel a little less braindead.
Cheers from SouthAmerica!
This is my first time watching Tim’s podcast and I can’t believe how funny this is.
Same. Loved this one. First one I’ve watched all year way through. Subscribed
Tim Dillon 2024
That auto-tune part had me busting out laughing at 5 in the morning "I'm sad we're sad" 😂🤣
YES OR YES?!?
Fun Fact: Tim is the last living Jerky Boy
@Jeff B old enough fire to fire my old lady off roof onto the roof of my truck I'm silly like that,cupcake
The good teachers are silent. Lol
Left the podcast playing and went to have a shower. Come out of the shower to Tim screaming "the kids can't read out there" and it cracked me up so much. Tim is a genius!
Is it bad/weird that the Tim Dillon show is the only thing that seems to make sense to me anymore?
Tims fired up. The type of episode I live for and I don't have much to live for.
“And then I make dolls of hair and their faces are nail clippings... and then the red lips I get like blood to make like kissy face lips”.
man that closer was unbelievably deft. truly remarkable words that have deep truth to them. Thank you tim for riding the fine line between absurd comedy and real talk.
this truly is the radio for the end of the world. i love it. play some queens of the stone age in between episodes.
Tim's patreon is seriously the best $5 i've spent in a long time. Just hours and hours of fantastic content.
This Podcast is going to blow up, calling it now.
Tim. Your song about depression hit me on an emotional level 🙏
Bill Burr & Tim Dillon #1 ad reads. I'll always support!
Finally a sexy and competent podcast engineer to rival young Jamie.
And that’s why we love him
We never hear Jamie’s laughter booming hard in the background
Tim I hate it when you interrupt your two advertisements with segments of show.
Otherwise, I find your program acceptable.
You've got Fredo's brother's name wrong.... It's Governor Covidmountain Nipplerings Jr
I appreciate that Tim gave Jeffrey Dahmer a job as his producer/computer guy.
Yeah if you rearrange the letters of Ben you get Jeffrey Dahmer. He’s not even trying to hide it.
Dude you have a voice for radio man, it's amazing
Thats the best "Old Man River" Ive ever heard.
Tim with the good hair!!!
Unbelievable episode. Getting better every week
I got chills at the end. He rarely says goodbye, especially like that
Am I the only one who buys with Tim's promo codes just to picture the marketing departments question life?!? 😌😅
His ads are the best ones iv'e ever seen and I actually listen to them..
"meatball" is now my favorite family friendly ethnic pejorative
He also calls Trump meatball so I'm not sure it's ethnic based. Trump is German so maybe he accidentally calls Trump meatball and instead should be Bratwurst?
The Hydrant ad killed me! 🤣😂😅
Tim Dillon over here lookin like Chris Farley trying to sell me brake pads
That hydrant ad literally killed me!!!!! Tim Dillon u r the goat of this comedy stuff
As a teacher this episode hit different
I'm on the side of us teachers should be able to laugh at ourselves, he's making solid points here
Using the left’s logic on cops apply it to teachers and it fits perfectly. Lol Tim Dillon has an ability to make solid uncomfortable points.
I’m black somali dude.,!.,!.,! And shed tears when I hear all the Ego’s leaving Cali, and YOU.,being.so awesome gets left behind. I’m with you in spirit straight out of Mogadishu!.,!.,! ⭐️⭐️⭐️
*☼ chest exercises are the cure? we have to get the word out!*
I love to watch just to see the producer chuckle lol
As education spending has rapidly increased, the average intelligence at graduating has fallen.
I'm 14yrs out of HS and the average classroom has over two per room and the scores are down and "medication" is up.
They've turned it into a growing bureaucracy revolved around pushing college at all costs while pushing further social agendas.
Sad and growing dystopian.
Brilliant archives of a misunderstood genius.
Got the fro all slicked back now? -- I see u baby boi
The best cure for a hangover is to listen to Tim Dillon yell at you
This intro was the most honest thing I heard in months, from a cynical comedian!
#patreon
haha exactly, the podcast that so many "educators" need to hear because it's only gotten worse since this was recorded. Where I live they are trying to go on strike! And you know what, the kids do deserve a break from them, summer is never enough.
I am convinced tim is the funniest dude to do a podcast I have never stayed up so late just listening and laughing at everything
Just joined the patreon. officially a skull & bones member!
Tim Dillon made Saturdays great again
pulling up in brand new Camry's, getting out with a latte😂
Thank you to the sponsors of the show this week
SHIPPING - www.shipstation.com/ enter code TIMDILLON
HYDRATE - www.drinkhydrant.com/TIM
GOLD - Text TIM to 474747.
MANSCAPED - www.manscaped.com/ use code TIMD
Bonus Episodes every week! www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow
Would you consider running for New York Governor Timmy D?
Yeah I'm fucking broke Tim! But keep those chubby cheeks moving and let that man gravy keep flowing.
I'M GONNA TELL YOU THIS AGAIN.
You have to get in touch with Angie Speaks on you tube and LOW SOCIETY podcast. They are lefties, but they like you. They want to talk, maybe interview on either show.
Yes and yes!!!
Tim looks like the 3rd oldest trump