@@h8h215men should not be expecting anything from a woman. If you need something from a woman then you have failed as a man. Modern men have been lied to and feminized and this needs to stop. For thousands of years men were the hunters and protectors and women were just their companions AND THAT'S IT!
What I find is disrespectful is that when a man makes excuses of why he can’t or won’t take me out. When a man tries to hid me, only wants to come to my place or his. I get highly offended.
I don't do "home dates" period. I rarely get asked out. The last few times were home dates. I told the guys, I don't go to men's homes for a date. Even if they try to pressure me, it's still a no. You got to know your worth and your rules/boundaries, and stick too them.
Once you learn IF A MAN WANTED TO HE WOULD everything changes. Then KNOW THAT OTHER MEN WILL. Know your worth and see what you like. You are the prize. Remember your on Gods time.
This is true a men will invest if he believes its worth investing in, if you dont feel he is, move on. Best method to test this is dont have s3x too soon.
“He’ll spend money on the play station but not on you, because he sees value in the play station and not in you.” Actions speak louder than words. Speaking or writing words is free, so he has nothing to lose in saying whatever you’d like to hear. Versus spending money, you only spend money on things and people you value.
Not serious until you start heading towards the door. If they start to change as you are leaving keep walking because he is showing that he was always capable of changing but he’s willing to play games and lacks integrity as well as a genuine interest in your happiness. His comfort is the most important thing to him.
I’ve become selfish with who gets to have my time end energy. I rather be in bed all day sleeping than dealing with men who don’t care. One thing I’ve noticed they only think with their private parts and don’t offer anything substantial. I got tired of stupid conversations ones that didn’t even make me feel like I was learning or feeling inspired. I want to be with a man that makes me feel like I’m learning something new and someone I can I look at in awe and can’t believe I get to call him mine. But majority of these men are just like pests, annoying and give you more problems!
I love my season of singleness & solitude! Its so peaceful. For a while there I was being tested I feel like I was attracting the same situations in different packages. Ive raised my standards and absolutely will not give anyone the time of day who doesn’t respect me. Im fine alone & if Im supposed to be with a significant other, Im waiting on God. ❤
If a man isn't coming to you properly then he doesn't really want you, he never did. This might be hard for a woman to take in, especially if he's your husband and the are kids involved but it's still the same. Men aren't disrespectful or dismissive to women they are truly into, never.
Just broke up with my boyfriend and it’s really scary and eye opening how we lacked all 7 traits through out our 2 year relationship. It’s really time to care about myself for once . Thank you
*Recognizing when someone isn't a good match is key to a successful dating life. Let's use this wisdom to guide our choices and find partners who truly appreciate us.*
It’s good to remember that the reason a lot of people stay in unhealthy relationships, is because we’re taught it’s wrong to leave. We’re supposed to stick with it, make it work, keep trying. It can take a long time to understand that you’ve done all you can when the other person isn’t also committed to doing their part. There is a lot of shame attached to ending a marriage for many people - especially those raised religiously.
Please do another video about wasting your time in relationships. I need a 2 hour sermon!! I’ve been terrible about allowing broken promises and waiting on what will never be. ❤ your videos are amazing.
I think women know the right decision to make. It’s in our gut. No 2hr or 5hr sermon will change your mind or give you the strength to leave if you don’t make up your mind yourself
@@MeetStephanSpeaksStephan, because of your videos, I was able to walk away from a guy who wasn’t serving me. 6.5 years but I’m glad I finally kicked him out and went no contact. Still to this day, he calls me from no caller IDs and emails. Everyday. I’m never looking back thanks to you. ❤❤
The money thing is totally true. My boyfriend spends a ton of money on me, mainly because he's in a position to do so. When I've said "oh no, that's too much, you can't spend that", his reply once was "Are you telling me you're not worth it?" It really made me think about the motivation behind giving monetarily, and it really comes down to, he wants to make my life better.
When my husband referred to me as “some woman”…as in he’s not going to let “some woman” do so and so…I knew it was over! That was a clear sign that he doesn’t respect women in general so there’s NO chance he’s going to respect me.
Ladies if this man is NOT submitted to God, it will be impossible for him to truly love you! For a God lead man will know how pray over you and ask God to help him love the gift that he has been given. So I have learned that if a man don't even know the Lord's Prayer, he will not be a suitable match for a women who desired to be treated in the manner in which God has designed. If he doesn't know that basic scripture, then he can keep it moving because I already know what the outcome will be. Stress and mess!!! All the best ladies and gents! You will know by the transformation in how he lives and how he treats you!!! God has the ability to transform us!
@@phyllmeez oh my dear one. God's word is always true and it is enough if we allow God to lead us. James 1:14-15 New King James Version (NKJV) But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death. 1 Peter 5:7-10 KJV casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: You are not able to resist the devil on your own! You need God! We all need God! We all have free will, however God wants you and me to willingly choose His leadership. All of the times I have gone outside of what God instructs, I have failed. And if you are honest, you have too. May you seek God while He May be found! God bless.
I had a man that I became dear friends with that turned into love. For over 5 years I’ve been his woman. Finally put a ring on my finger but. Ever set a date! I couldn’t be in high altitude due to health issues and he wouldn’t get his house sold to move on with me. Back and forth over years and years. I finally let this guy go and wow what a waste of time! I should have absolutely left his ass. Should have given him 1-2 yes tops!! He was a bad communicator, disrespectful , all the bad red flags! I blame myself Completely!! You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. Shame on me!! Thanks Stephan …your wisdom is sooo needed!! Never let any man waste your time!!
I came to this video a little too late but the very first two red flags you mentioned here is exactly what is happening in a relationship with this guy… such a poor communicator… one word answers…all money for him and his daughters, absolutely no money for our dates. Oh I finally walked away… and I can see clearly that he is playing games… it’s hearts breaking but I’m learning to love myself more. ❤
I can honestly say when I was younger SEX was a priority over all other topics discussed. Until the healing journey begins no one will indeed what Stephan is speaking on. I see so many young ladies stuck and starving for love but cannot love themselves. We all want to be with someone, but value ourselves is the priority and never allow to be treated as an option or opportunity for others. Spoken at 51 with grace.
I try to talk to mine he just tells me it's all about me I'm a narcissist but yet he's the one cheating lying acting like I'm stupid and don't know what I'm talking about and spend money lmao oh no he ain't spending money on me anything and if he has which has been only a couple of times he's tried to take the stuff back if we split up but yet I spend hundreds of dollars on him stuff and I don't want it back I got it for him it's his u know. But yet he says he loves me wants me but like we got into a fight because he was talking to women on his phone he tf me I was in the wrong n crazy to leave so I did he got even more pissed because I left but yet 2 days later had a girl here in our home staying for months then still coming to see me or fighting with her so she'd leave and get me to come back now I'm back he's went to jail days he never wants me to leave even if he tells me to that I'm the one constant that's always been there noatter what and loved him and been loyal no matter what for 20 plus yrs even when he ran off and married someone else for three 6rs which is why he's in jail now and for 3 days before e his court date he didn't have anything to do with mr ud living together and all but now u want to say u love me and how you redid this house for me because we restarted it together even though he's had other girls up in here it was for me they arenothing but sex yet before I come back I have his phone now heafe one of the girls get up and leave because I was coming back home at 230 in the morning to stay for good before he had to go back to court and sentencing. I find it hard to believe anything he says because in over 30 yrs if youv e always loved me then why have you run off married someone else cheating talking to girls behind my back have dating profiles on different dating apps you don't have that were in a relationship on ur social pages or anything I call bullshit but I've loved been in love with this man for over 20 yrs and never waiverd stayed alone. And if I tell him if I did this crap to him he'd get livid. At some point I feel like I need to love myself again more than him but how do I let go I hate the way he acts and does but I also love the man I have seen him be and know he can be but I don't even know if he can with me honestly anymore once upon a time he was a good man idk what it why he's become this person but as much as I love him I hate him and I hate that I've aloud myself to be treated this way and him acting like I'm just stupid I have receipts where he's been out with other women I have messages from his phone now I e found clothes and shampoos and crap in our home when I've come back from work or from staying at my sister's for a day or two and him tell me I'm crazy he thought it was mine it it's something that's been here well no hell it hasn't only thing been here is my stuff it ain't mine I ain't stupid don't try to freaking gaslight me like wtf. Sex has been an issue for him 8 guess he says no matter what I do or try but I have to have hip surgery and can't move my leg or it will come out of socket and hurts extremely bad but yet I can't take time off work to have 8t because his ass ain't gonna let me not be making money to help with stuff but he'll let these freeloading whores lay up here n not work in our home BS. I enjoy the sex we have he does things noone else has ever been able to do but he has issues with anyone he had sex with I hear the same crap or see it when he argued with them or whatever do I think it's just him being unsatisfied within his own self somehow that he cant be satisfied in anyway with anyone in any way I mean he has me but then there's been 4 other women he was running around d with hiding not just from me but each other to. And I'm the narcissist and crazy one I just don't see it or think it. Yet I can't seem to let go of him and I've never let anyone else ever treat me like this ever in my life why can't I let go and move on you make so much sense and I know it on I've tried to get him to go to counseling or whatever ask him to take anger management class he won't do it it's not him it's all of us not him wtf. And yet I'm to stupid to stop it and let go when I know in my heart he can't live me and treat me this way it's just not even possible it's just not idc what anyone says u can't live someone and act like that to me. Why when it's in my face loud and clear just why can't I let go and leave him alone if we live in the same state and town I can't stay away and say no. I'm glad he's back I love him n missed him while he lived away for few yrs. But damn I wish he wouldn't have come back because I was fine with just me and now I can't leave him alone and he does this stuff to me. Hell I need psychiatric help apparently because I'm an idiot yet I still knowing this can't let go I truel am in love with this man I made a commitment yrs ago I meant it and have stood by it for yrs. Hell I guess I am crazy how do I let go and walk away ehen sll i want is for him to stop being like this and live and respect me and honor our relationship like I do. GRRRRR...
@@tinaburkey8417 wow.. this was exhausting to read. close the door on that man. end of story. there's no love or respect there. you're wasting your life on nonsense. no amount of counseling will change things. u have to ask yourself why you're allowing urself to be treated this way. what's missing inside of u that allows this, especially after all these years? why would u want someone who treats u poorly, and is in jail? never have i ever had to spend my own money when w a man. when a man loves u, honors, and respects u, he shows up and wants to make u happy. ur not showing him that u respect urself, which is why this has gone on for so long.
A lot of men are broken, suffer from mental illness, toxic, and desire for a woman to fix him. Get into therapy men, get some help. Only God can fix you! Praying for men and women both! 🙏🏾🙏🏾
@@lindat1317 Hilarious..that's a great way to put it! Thank you Linda :) you made me laugh..love it!!..I'm on divorce #2 now and it is helpful to laugh...and of course pray too
And that’s exactly the conversation I had with my husband this morning, he says I focus in all the bad things he does, instead of focusing in the good things, but never says that he is willing to work on those bad things and I am tired of being with someone who does not care about my feelings but him, I had the last talking to him today, and I’m convinced not matter what that everything will be exactly the same, and I’m not willing to be miserable and unhappy anymore. You do t know how many times I tried talking to him and we never fix anything, he always feel attack and defensive and I just can’t communicate, I have told him to leave him many times, but I’m ready now! I to,d him it was your last chance, I won’t entertain this anymore I will just continue looking for a place to live and stop fighting over this.
Please do it's going to start making u physically sick...your mind is probably consumed with him all the time, u probably feel depressed often in between trying to move on in your mind and u probably be upset with yourself that u chose him...probably wish u could go back in time and change it all and see what life could of been...u probably think of all the time u spent in it and u can't get it back...i can go on and on about how i feel....i thought your comment was something i had written until i realized this video was just made! Joy is being sucked out of you...where is the joy part in the whole relationship? How can u have joy with someone u can't talk to and won't accept and talk about the truths and what can be done to fix them so u can start walking together on a better path....it's hard when your feelings/needs don't matter but there's does and then u are told that U are the problem for it all....smh
Have you tried marriage counseling? Or individual counseling? Do you think maybe it's how you are communicating to him, like Stephen mentioned? I get you are tired and I am not blaming you, just saying, before you throw in the towel on your marriage. I hope you two can fix it and move forward, happily and in peace. But if you feel you have given it your all and he is not meeting or trying, then, do what you have too do too have peace and be happy! Please don't take offense with what I said/asked.
They don't understand that the bad things undermine anything good they ever did. And they don't intend to do anything about the bad stuff past getting you to calm down, when it will just start up again after. Enough.
He pretty much needs to be a GIVER and not a TAKER, whether it be financially, emotionally, sexually, etc. Stephan we need to clone you, thanks once again ❤
“Bad communicator” is one thing, “horrible communicator” is something different entirely. You’ll know it’s like hitting your head against a brick wall…
My husband at last 1/2 of our marriage never paid a bill for household or spend a dime on me or the home. He died last year and I will never put up with that disrespect again.
I would concentrate only on yourself now. Letting a new man into your home is a disaster, since in one way or another,men in general want to control and dictate your life after the honeymoon period is over.
And by men getting help don’t forget medical and preventive help too. Too many men think just being in gym and drinking protein shakes mean they r good, meanwhile their A1C is over 7 and they r diabetic, have high blood pressure and cholesterol, their body about to expire with blood clots, strokes and cancer. Now u become the nurse and caretaker when that could be avoided by regular check ups. Too many men avoid going to the doctor.
@@sashacollins1031 and I’m like NOPE. Go find a nice rehabilitative center or nursing home or get a nurse aid to come check up on you in YOUR home. I’ll be traveling, hanging with family and friends, being healthy and praising God ✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾
A big thing for me is alcohol. If alcohol has to be a part of his life every day in order to “have fun”-RUN. All of our “dates” involved alcohol or he wanted to just hang out in bars. I’m talking about grown-as* men decades older than most people in the bar. 😅 Big flag. Nope.
They like to tell you that you just want to argue whenever you are actually trying to communicate, especially when it's something that they do not want to take responsibility for or to be accountable for...I love that. And my feelings were constantly dismissed.
That intro is spot on. I always say I’m NOT going to continue give a man what he wants if he’s not willing to fulfill my needs. And no I’m not talking about sex on either end.
I think thats fair, its not being picky if your going to spend your time and maybe even your life with a man its got to be the right one, as a man i use this method to.
A man once explained his ghosting me by saying he’s SO busy and doesn’t have time for dating. So I told him well let free it up for you .. lose my number cause you’re not getting any of MY time
Open and honest communication and a willing mindset with mutual respect and understanding for each other is key, if there is no willingness, it’s pointless. Thank you Stephan. 🥰
Hi Stephan, I was dating a very insecure man who was on the verge of bankruptcy. I was paying more and more for him. As if that was not enough things didn't 'work' anymore in the bedroom. Thanks to your visits I convinced myself it was ok to break up with him. I haven't found someone else yet, but I am glad at least I have the possibility again to find something better.
I'm a great guy willing to improve as a partner. We all are unperfect and we all have wounds that may affect our current relationship. If there is a person who are willing to get better it's worth to be with that person.
Thank you for this video, Stephan! I had to walk away from a relationship I had with this guy because he was very disrespectful towards me. Although I would address how he treated me, he dismissed my feelings often. Also, he was unwilling to get help for his anger issues and I realized he was pulling me away from God.
Last guy i left didn't only dismiss my feelings he cussed me out in the process. Nd all I wanted was for him to be kinder when addressing me. Common human decency is not so common 😅
There was a brother who asked for my number but barely communicate. I knew he was playing games. I said what I had to say and left the cold🦃 alone for good👑🙏🏾📖
I had to stop at 3:44 to say this about men being terrible communicators. I know some women I’ve dated, in long term relationships who by the time they broached a heavy topic with me, they had journaled it, discussed it with their friends, wrote a script for the upcoming convo and edited. Then they turn around and expect you to be spitting out pure diamond responses. Ladies, please be respectful and give us some time to process what you want to talk about. At-least as much time as you have taken yourselves before especially before insisting on immediate replies.
I just saw most of your interview with Jay Shetty. Honestly, I love that I am witnessing a man walking in the glory of God to the extent that you are. It's completely life giving. And it's really giving me hope that there are men out there who actually want to grow and change. It's beautiful
We all come from different walks of life but I am a firm believer that when a man is ready and want you, he will make it happen. SMH, Stop playing games.
As a Law Advocate who worked in family court , before I went into criminal Law ! Most of the deciding factor for divorce rate being so high was over,, Finance and sex .. I found on the cases I sat in on!
Stephan, I've been following you for a while & have purchased almost all of your books; your products are stellar stuff! Your thoughts should be shared in schools; maybe there would be fewer divorces and domestic problems in our world. Kudos for what you share!
Thank you so much for your videos Stephan, they're soo helpful. That point about seeking help is a BIG 1🙌🏽 a lot of women underestimate and play the waiting game thinking he'd eventually come around. Sometimes cutting your losses sooner is better than hoping forever.
I had a woman tell me I dismiss men quick. I told her, I don't need too be with a guy for years too see he is not the one! She had been in a five years relationship with a guy, who was abusive to her.
This comment is the truth. I had to cut a dude loose recently because he had too much going on, was not willing to communicate with me, and often would project his anger towards me if things weren't going his way in life. I was like no! It was too much for me.
After divorce, I decided to hold off from dating and truly heal. In hindsight, I now see that I allowed every one of these behaviors from my ex-husband to continue without saying A Word! Thank God for Healing. I Have went through the long hard process of healing, and after all that I have been through, I won’t walk away immediately, BUT after we have a conversation and there is no changed behavior, we don’t need to continue. I don’t say that out of a place of coming off arrogant. This comes from confidence and now knowing who I am and what I want.
If your partner is insecure about something and self aware…meaning they own their insecurities and are not putting them on their partner, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask and expect your partner to consider your sensitivity to certain issues that trigger their insecurities. To be inflexible and just flat out dismiss, diminish or disregard is disgusting!
Thank you! Like your not ready for me but yet no one can have me it is not my job to heal you I did the work on myself nd I deserve a man whose whole !! Listening to you Stephan, RC Blake’s, etc.. has gotten me so far in my singleness ! I’m not entertaining a man who doesn’t know what he wants and or isn’t willing to put in the work. I’m not for any man ! God will reveal him to me until then thank you im flattered but I happily decline ! Can’t wait to see you Stephan in Boston !! 🙏🏾🙃
Women- instead of trying repeatedly, listen to STEPHAN- let go of trying to control him and LEAVE. This is about YOU, he’s not the only one with a problem. I’m struggling with this to btw lol- no judgement. Fml. Also what I’ve found is if I’m judging a man too much, it means our values aren’t aligned and I won’t feel secure in the relationship. Judging a man is a red flag regarding him unless you overly judgy on small things.
I’m in my 50s and now I’m there with Audrey. The goods will be there for my husband when God presents Him to me!!! God is so good He takes me back, every time!!!
It’s great to get married but what are you marrying is more important. Marriage ain’t no fairytale and some can be so toxic. Not trying to discourage you but take your time to get to know someone.
My ex-husband was 5 out of the 7. Which is a huge part of why he is my EX. There was more on top of it that finally caused me to pack up and leave. Bottom line: we didn't belong together and I wish I had realized it sooner. But what's done is done, moving on.
I’m so happy you mentioned social media. I walked away from my ex 4 mos ago and moved out because I could no longer compete with social media. I expressed my concern and he still did what he wanted and I was the insecure one. Okay then deuces.
The looking and likes are suggestive hints at hookups. Notice guys don't do that to older, fat, or ugly women. That's your clue right there. And they wanna hold all women only worthy if they look like the young cute ones on social media even if they're way outta their league. They have to somehow pay and they will to get them.
When he values you, he will not dismiss your feelings. I had to learn that and I was ok walking away. After all he came back to me after I left him the last 2x. The difference this time is the m staying no contact bc if he tries to come back again, I don’t want to fall for it. I love him very much, but my sanity was at stake this time.
I found picture after picture of girls my boyfriend was liking, loving on his Facebook. All ages but all beautiful. Some half naked. It huuuurt. That is in no way acceptable when in a relationship. He supposedly shut down Facebook but I don't DO NOT trust him anymore. I don't trust his intentions or his mind or his loyalty. I believe if a man, or woman, is into you their desire is for you. Not sitting on social media viewing other females. It is a big eye opener that is for sure.
You are a gift to humanity ❤ You have helped me so much. Some of us have trouble finding reasonable perspectives as we heal from trauma, and you always have such a clear and consistent message.
I grew up without a father and a narcissist mom. So I didn't know my worth. I felt worthless. I met what I was familiar with a narcissist man. 21 years of a circus. Finally 8 years free and no longer want to be in a relationship with no one. 😢
Narcissist tend to leave all their victims feeling this way. I was married unbeknownst to a narcissist and it was six years of being apart of an evil circus show and his creepy mother was the ringmaster. When that marriage ended I felt like a walking dead I was exhausted spiritually and physically. I felt like dying. It’s prayer, going to Church and the Lord Jesus Christ build me back up from nothing. Love yourself first.
A man calling a woman '' B#$%&'' is terrible. Just so you know from personal experience. A woman having a difficulty leaving an abusive relationship could be because the leaving or getting him to leave is itself very dangerous.
Great video. So many people stay bc they can't afford to lose them financially, every day living. Only provide them with food and shelter. Very sad. I left my marriage even though it was tough especially financially I moved on to be happy.
This is an excellent video. Your videos are becoming more complex, in depth and meaningful. Thank you Stephan for bringing clarity to these abstract yet essential issues.
Thank you for touching on the money issue! It's so much deeper than the dollar, it's a mindset connected to how we spend money. WILLINGNESS is so important, he has to have a heart for his woman.
I just love listening to you ❤I’ve been working on healing for 2 years and working on being my best self. I’m walking my path as a healer helping others with my service dogs spreading love ❤lifting spirits for many ❤ I will continue to do gods work ✨🙏✨helping others 🥰 II just need a hug you inspire. Thank you so much. Also, I just wanted to tell you purple looks great on you. It’s my favorite color super spiritual.❤
I have listened to your content on and off and you have wonderful advice. I have learned through experience and advice you have mentioned in this video and others. Stop making excuses for the behaviors that are shown. Don’t get upset and simply make it known it’s not something that will work out because you can see it and the actions of the person shows it. With that said I have had men come back to me because they mentioned I was a good woman. I refuse to take them back, that is directly saying I accept how you treat me. Fear is the biggest thing in ending something and starting again. Once you accept and know your value, though you may be hurt it is better for both people in the long run. No yelling needed.
Thank you for sharing this video I really appreciated everything you shared and it really helped me be happy with my choice to walk away from my last situation and how unaligned it was with my true self. Wish you the best and big Aloha in your life for all the hard work and joy you a give to the world 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Thanks for putting things in perspective for us Stephan, alot of us women are more naive than we are willing to admit as to what healthy relationship looks like, which is why we often end up being "used or played" and inevitably hurt. Also thanks for the guidance you provide to the brothers who are willing to work on becoming the best version of themselves so that they can treat their woman like the queen she is and she will in return be delighted to honour her kind. Continued blessings on this needed ministry geared towards building stronger and better relationships.
I feels like screaming loud & beating my hands/fists against the floor in angst & deep disappointment the deepest betrayal against another human being. You are a great & valued teacher. Simply thank you for being here for us xoxo
AMEN STEPHAN! SPEAK THE TRUTH! Thank you for your awesome video 💯💯💯💯 I only want God Himself to lead me to the love of my life. If that man is in love with Jesus, then that man can love you the way you deserve to be loved! God bless you Stephan!
Amen yes you have to Love our Loving Dear Sweet Almighty Wonderful HEAVENLY FATHER through Loving Sweet Wonderful Beautiful Glorious Gracious Almighty JESUS CHRIST. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾😇😇🙏🏾🙏🏾😇😇😇😇😇😇😇❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾😇😇😇😇😇😇🙏🏾
You are really helping me with my new relationship. Not leading with emotions. First man I have been with that will sit me down & let me know he is not dealing with it & helps me to understand myself more. I have been doing it all wrong
I can't understand how a man don't want to communicate properly. he giving all the nice talk and yet lacking in talking, .it's best he say he finish with the friendship thanks Stephen another nice video.
My EX would spend money on himself and his family but not me. I had to pay half of meals and everything! I thought I was proving that I loved him and not money but I was devaluing myself and when I finally realized that he was devaluing me, I said bye bye! Valuing myself. Bamm!
All points are true and even when they still maintain on the principles that they won't be the same if they accept your ideas..... Thank you STEPHAN...
Damnn Stephen. Every one of your videos and advice is straight fire. Im not easily impressed but you really do know what you are talking about. Every piece of advice is straight facts and 100% spot on. I just had a conversation with my single friend about literally all of these points and open up my day to this video. Not many people have such a strong understanding of relationships dynamics as you do. People take his advice - it 100% works.
Sharing my notes: If a man is not willing to give you what you need, then stop giving him what he wants! They belive that its temporary cosequenses when you tolerate, stay, or wait for them to act right. - Horrible communication (unwillingness discuss important issues) - open up to them and express yourself in a calm and loving manner - He wont spend money with you (he doesnt value you and not serious, not priority) - depends on financial situation - Disrespectful (on feelings) he acts that way because you tolertae it, you cannot wait to do right by you; if it doest meet your standards its done; discuss the feeling of disrespect - Social media (liking, commenting and messaging) - discuss proper social media etiquette as early as possible as it may be bothering you - Dismissing your feelings (cannot be tolerated and accepted as it cause alot of resentment and negativity on you) - alot of men dont understand and lack of compassion to women when it doent make sense to them logically; its foreign to them to understand and how to be more considerate; learn to adress things and expressing; simplify sometimes what you're saying; establish to your partner when venting but if you want him to understand be on point of what you want - Cannot sexually satisfy you (its unhealthy and set up for a disaster) ends up not caring for you partner and making excuses; starts to feel lke burden chore; true key to great sex in the long term is connection it can be fixed (two people pouring the needs and desires of their partner, two unselfish lovers; when there is connection there is a deeper desire to pleasure your partner; no desire they get selfish so it throws everything off). Men that can't handle the criticisms = end up with a relationship where an issues arises and unable to talk about it (ESTABLISH BOTH SIDES THAT "WE" CAN TALK ABOUT IT WHEN THINGS IS FALLING SHORT; WHEN THINGS ARE NOT WHERE WE NEED THEM TO BE; WHEN THINGS NEED TO BE IMPROVED ON) Its pointless to be sexually available to him while not be able to feel satisfaction; if it will impact your willingness to show up CONNECTION AND/THEN LACK OF SATISFACTION IS THE ROOT OF FAILED/BROKEN RELATIONSHIP - Who dont believe in getting help (unwillingness to get help) against therapy, "if all else fails is there an option"; they hold on to the issue and doesnt want to face them; premarital consultation; [his willingness to atleast go to God: it helps as third mediator seeing who can help see things that are not seen in situation; tap into spiritual level] - Pull you away from God (NON NEGOTIABLE NOTHING WILL MOVE FORWARD TO IT; it isnt for you; believe that God will lead you to the right man); ask yourself if its helping you to get closer and have stronger relationship with God; disrespectful of beliefs; pulling you away; you choose to be distracted and derailed to whom is not in allignment with you just to be with him; some manage some dont
I broke up with my ex because I was offended when he chose to not respond to my memes. It was important to me - I communicated it to him. He chose to ignore it. It felt offensive and calculative - basically a whole lot of ‘how much will she tolerate before she leaves’. I left. If he chooses to ignore me this soon (this was 2/3 months into dating), it’s only going to get worse.
This is so great. I'm 75,and thought i found my soul mate. After 1 visit in marriage counseling, saw that this relationship should not go forward after now wanting to do the things he suggested that he suggested necessarily before marriage. I thank God i went to God first, then He lead me to have Pastorial counseling. The best advice in every life change. Thank you ❤️
You're looking great brother Stephan, You're Glowing! Keep up the good works! And great wisdom right here! Thank you, May God continue to love and bless you exceedingly, abundantly!!
If a man is not willing to give you what you need, then stop giving him what he wants:
and what does he want?
@@h8h215men should not be expecting anything from a woman.
If you need something from a woman then you have failed as a man.
Modern men have been lied to and feminized and this needs to stop.
For thousands of years men were the hunters and protectors and women were just their companions AND THAT'S IT!
@@h8h215the draws😂😂😂
Simple as that
Yep!
I'm a firm believer, when people show you who they are, believe them, period!
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
Amen 🙏 I don't waste my time and energy
Truth! 💯 %!
💯
Yup, believe what you see 😳
If a man complain for everything and get mad easy, just run
what if a women does this?
@@h8h215 Run😆
@@h8h215run too !
@@h8h215also run
@@h8h215it means she doesn’t like you.
What I find is disrespectful is that when a man makes excuses of why he can’t or won’t take me out. When a man tries to hid me, only wants to come to my place or his. I get highly offended.
I feel you, it definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏
I don't do "home dates" period. I rarely get asked out. The last few times were home dates. I told the guys, I don't go to men's homes for a date. Even if they try to pressure me, it's still a no. You got to know your worth and your rules/boundaries, and stick too them.
He only wants sex. Or_and is cheating another woman
@@keciabrown8321 fact
A POS Sis! Period
Once you learn IF A MAN WANTED TO HE WOULD everything changes. Then KNOW THAT OTHER MEN WILL. Know your worth and see what you like. You are the prize. Remember your on Gods time.
This is true a men will invest if he believes its worth investing in, if you dont feel he is, move on. Best method to test this is dont have s3x too soon.
AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN, SISTER 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
Rejection is Protection ❤❤❤Walk Away with Grace!!! Keep Your Dignity!!!❤❤❤
Exactly
AMEN 🙏🙌
Ouu, I like that, rejection is protection🙌🏾
Thank you!
So true Amen 🙏🏾
1- There must be a connection
2-Honesty and assertiveness in communication
3- Two unselfish lovers
I will Tatoo this in my mind 😂
These 3 help people to stay together and work through disagreements.
@soniamoreno huh where did you get those 3 things from?
@@Katrica670 lol that's funny as I too was thinking that very same thing co-winky-dink don't you think? ..o(">'")o
“He’ll spend money on the play station but not on you, because he sees value in the play station and not in you.” Actions speak louder than words. Speaking or writing words is free, so he has nothing to lose in saying whatever you’d like to hear. Versus spending money, you only spend money on things and people you value.
AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN 🎉🎉🎉🎉
So does that mean women who don't spend money on men, don't value the man?
Amen 🙏 to that. Actions do speak louder than words.
@@heathermetz6576 AMEN AMEN, Sister 🙌 👏 ❤️
Not serious until you start heading towards the door. If they start to change as you are leaving keep walking because he is showing that he was always capable of changing but he’s willing to play games and lacks integrity as well as a genuine interest in your happiness. His comfort is the most important thing to him.
Could not have said it better myself. Preach
Exactly
😮😮😮 Bless your ❤ thank you !!!!!!!
I’ve become selfish with who gets to have my time end energy. I rather be in bed all day sleeping than dealing with men who don’t care. One thing I’ve noticed they only think with their private parts and don’t offer anything substantial. I got tired of stupid conversations ones that didn’t even make me feel like I was learning or feeling inspired. I want to be with a man that makes me feel like I’m learning something new and someone I can I look at in awe and can’t believe I get to call him mine. But majority of these men are just like pests, annoying and give you more problems!
stop picking bad men
@@h8h215 lol 9 of out 10 are pests
Men who are Secure enough to be humble are rare gems
For real!! You spoke FACTS. I've been done with men because of the exact same reasons. And they get worse the older they are.
I love my season of singleness & solitude! Its so peaceful. For a while there I was being tested I feel like I was attracting the same situations in different packages. Ive raised my standards and absolutely will not give anyone the time of day who doesn’t respect me. Im fine alone & if Im supposed to be with a significant other, Im waiting on God. ❤
If a man isn't coming to you properly then he doesn't really want you, he never did. This might be hard for a woman to take in, especially if he's your husband and the are kids involved but it's still the same. Men aren't disrespectful or dismissive to women they are truly into, never.
This. ❤
Bingo!
Communication is something you must hold to a high standard. It's part of the foundation.
AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
“He sees value in the PlayStation and not in you.” Wow. I received that.
1980 no sucjh thibgvplay statiñ dud nkt exust theñ
Just broke up with my boyfriend and it’s really scary and eye opening how we lacked all 7 traits through out our 2 year relationship. It’s really time to care about myself for once . Thank you
Same
Same here
Bro that’s scary accurate i broke up two weeks ago from my 2 year relationship too and this video was eye opening
Indeed..and yes you should take care about yourself too.
*Recognizing when someone isn't a good match is key to a successful dating life. Let's use this wisdom to guide our choices and find partners who truly appreciate us.*
Disrespectful behaviour is so dehumanizing. Lack of communication is simply lack of relationship. Thanks for sharing @ Stephan.
It’s good to remember that the reason a lot of people stay in unhealthy relationships, is because we’re taught it’s wrong to leave. We’re supposed to stick with it, make it work, keep trying. It can take a long time to understand that you’ve done all you can when the other person isn’t also committed to doing their part. There is a lot of shame attached to ending a marriage for many people - especially those raised religiously.
You can say that again 👌
Very true
Why can't the other person change then? Why do these people who sincerely love always have to be blamed for not leaving?
no it’s not for me to stick with this after 10 - 15 years of nothing with no growth to prosper in a relationship
This is my situation and has been for the last 17 years. It’s very difficult. But I am done. Now to figure out how to leave.
Please do another video about wasting your time in relationships. I need a 2 hour sermon!! I’ve been terrible about allowing broken promises and waiting on what will never be. ❤ your videos are amazing.
I think women know the right decision to make. It’s in our gut. No 2hr or 5hr sermon will change your mind or give you the strength to leave if you don’t make up your mind yourself
Great suggestion, I will add it to my list to get it done!
Me too😢.
@brownsugar7879 yup. Our intuition don't lie. We stay for whatever reason knowing we should have left a long time ago.
@@MeetStephanSpeaksStephan, because of your videos, I was able to walk away from a guy who wasn’t serving me. 6.5 years but I’m glad I finally kicked him out and went no contact. Still to this day, he calls me from no caller IDs and emails. Everyday. I’m never looking back thanks to you. ❤❤
The money thing is totally true. My boyfriend spends a ton of money on me, mainly because he's in a position to do so. When I've said "oh no, that's too much, you can't spend that", his reply once was "Are you telling me you're not worth it?" It really made me think about the motivation behind giving monetarily, and it really comes down to, he wants to make my life better.
When my husband referred to me as “some woman”…as in he’s not going to let “some woman” do so and so…I knew it was over! That was a clear sign that he doesn’t respect women in general so there’s NO chance he’s going to respect me.
I have not felt respected in years.......
thàts right
I really don’t have time to teach a man how he should talk to a woman.
Ladies if this man is NOT submitted to God, it will be impossible for him to truly love you! For a God lead man will know how pray over you and ask God to help him love the gift that he has been given. So I have learned that if a man don't even know the Lord's Prayer, he will not be a suitable match for a women who desired to be treated in the manner in which God has designed. If he doesn't know that basic scripture, then he can keep it moving because I already know what the outcome will be. Stress and mess!!! All the best ladies and gents! You will know by the transformation in how he lives and how he treats you!!! God has the ability to transform us!
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
AMEN!
Not always true. I am a God fearing person and have seen a lot of “ believers “ fall short. Everything can’t be put on God, He made us individual.
@@phyllmeez True but you do have free will to live as God asked you to or live your own way. Choose wisely!
@@phyllmeez oh my dear one. God's word is always true and it is enough if we allow God to lead us.
James 1:14-15 New King James Version (NKJV)
But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.
1 Peter 5:7-10 KJV
casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:
You are not able to resist the devil on your own! You need God! We all need God! We all have free will, however God wants you and me to willingly choose His leadership. All of the times I have gone outside of what God instructs, I have failed. And if you are honest, you have too. May you seek God while He May be found! God bless.
I had a man that I became dear friends with that turned into love. For over 5 years I’ve been his woman. Finally put a ring on my finger but. Ever set a date! I couldn’t be in high altitude due to health issues and he wouldn’t get his house sold to move on with me. Back and forth over years and years. I finally let this guy go and wow what a waste of time! I should have absolutely left his ass. Should have given him 1-2 yes tops!! He was a bad communicator, disrespectful , all the bad red flags! I blame myself
Completely!! You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. Shame on me!! Thanks Stephan …your wisdom is sooo needed!! Never let any man waste your time!!
I came to this video a little too late but the very first two red flags you mentioned here is exactly what is happening in a relationship with this guy… such a poor communicator… one word answers…all money for him and his daughters, absolutely no money for our dates. Oh I finally walked away… and I can see clearly that he is playing games… it’s hearts breaking but I’m learning to love myself more. ❤
I feel you, it definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏
"You cannot wait for people to do right by you." That was sincerely the message that I needed to hear, so thank you for that Stephen.❤
I can honestly say when I was younger SEX was a priority over all other topics discussed. Until the healing journey begins no one will indeed what Stephan is speaking on. I see so many young ladies stuck and starving for love but cannot love themselves. We all want to be with someone, but value ourselves is the priority and never allow to be treated as an option or opportunity for others. Spoken at 51 with grace.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏
I try to talk to mine he just tells me it's all about me I'm a narcissist but yet he's the one cheating lying acting like I'm stupid and don't know what I'm talking about and spend money lmao oh no he ain't spending money on me anything and if he has which has been only a couple of times he's tried to take the stuff back if we split up but yet I spend hundreds of dollars on him stuff and I don't want it back I got it for him it's his u know. But yet he says he loves me wants me but like we got into a fight because he was talking to women on his phone he tf me I was in the wrong n crazy to leave so I did he got even more pissed because I left but yet 2 days later had a girl here in our home staying for months then still coming to see me or fighting with her so she'd leave and get me to come back now I'm back he's went to jail days he never wants me to leave even if he tells me to that I'm the one constant that's always been there noatter what and loved him and been loyal no matter what for 20 plus yrs even when he ran off and married someone else for three 6rs which is why he's in jail now and for 3 days before e his court date he didn't have anything to do with mr ud living together and all but now u want to say u love me and how you redid this house for me because we restarted it together even though he's had other girls up in here it was for me they arenothing but sex yet before I come back I have his phone now heafe one of the girls get up and leave because I was coming back home at 230 in the morning to stay for good before he had to go back to court and sentencing. I find it hard to believe anything he says because in over 30 yrs if youv e always loved me then why have you run off married someone else cheating talking to girls behind my back have dating profiles on different dating apps you don't have that were in a relationship on ur social pages or anything I call bullshit but I've loved been in love with this man for over 20 yrs and never waiverd stayed alone. And if I tell him if I did this crap to him he'd get livid. At some point I feel like I need to love myself again more than him but how do I let go I hate the way he acts and does but I also love the man I have seen him be and know he can be but I don't even know if he can with me honestly anymore once upon a time he was a good man idk what it why he's become this person but as much as I love him I hate him and I hate that I've aloud myself to be treated this way and him acting like I'm just stupid I have receipts where he's been out with other women I have messages from his phone now I e found clothes and shampoos and crap in our home when I've come back from work or from staying at my sister's for a day or two and him tell me I'm crazy he thought it was mine it it's something that's been here well no hell it hasn't only thing been here is my stuff it ain't mine I ain't stupid don't try to freaking gaslight me like wtf. Sex has been an issue for him 8 guess he says no matter what I do or try but I have to have hip surgery and can't move my leg or it will come out of socket and hurts extremely bad but yet I can't take time off work to have 8t because his ass ain't gonna let me not be making money to help with stuff but he'll let these freeloading whores lay up here n not work in our home BS. I enjoy the sex we have he does things noone else has ever been able to do but he has issues with anyone he had sex with I hear the same crap or see it when he argued with them or whatever do I think it's just him being unsatisfied within his own self somehow that he cant be satisfied in anyway with anyone in any way I mean he has me but then there's been 4 other women he was running around d with hiding not just from me but each other to. And I'm the narcissist and crazy one I just don't see it or think it. Yet I can't seem to let go of him and I've never let anyone else ever treat me like this ever in my life why can't I let go and move on you make so much sense and I know it on I've tried to get him to go to counseling or whatever ask him to take anger management class he won't do it it's not him it's all of us not him wtf. And yet I'm to stupid to stop it and let go when I know in my heart he can't live me and treat me this way it's just not even possible it's just not idc what anyone says u can't live someone and act like that to me. Why when it's in my face loud and clear just why can't I let go and leave him alone if we live in the same state and town I can't stay away and say no. I'm glad he's back I love him n missed him while he lived away for few yrs. But damn I wish he wouldn't have come back because I was fine with just me and now I can't leave him alone and he does this stuff to me. Hell I need psychiatric help apparently because I'm an idiot yet I still knowing this can't let go I truel am in love with this man I made a commitment yrs ago I meant it and have stood by it for yrs. Hell I guess I am crazy how do I let go and walk away ehen sll i want is for him to stop being like this and live and respect me and honor our relationship like I do. GRRRRR...
@@tinaburkey8417 wow.. this was exhausting to read. close the door on that man. end of story. there's no love or respect there. you're wasting your life on nonsense. no amount of counseling will change things. u have to ask yourself why you're allowing urself to be treated this way. what's missing inside of u that allows this, especially after all these years? why would u want someone who treats u poorly, and is in jail? never have i ever had to spend my own money when w a man. when a man loves u, honors, and respects u, he shows up and wants to make u happy. ur not showing him that u respect urself, which is why this has gone on for so long.
@@tinaburkey8417OH LORD!!!😂😅😂😅😂😅😂😅😂
@@tinaburkey8417 Not reading all of those run-on sentences with barely any punctuation.
A lot of men are broken, suffer from mental illness, toxic, and desire for a woman to fix him. Get into therapy men, get some help. Only God can fix you! Praying for men and women both! 🙏🏾🙏🏾
He probably has five other women trying to fix him. Don’t be part of the construction crew. 🤣 👋
@@lindat1317 Hilarious..that's a great way to put it! Thank you Linda :) you made me laugh..love it!!..I'm on divorce #2 now and it is helpful to laugh...and of course pray too
@@redonionsyummy Keep your head high! 🌹
And that’s exactly the conversation I had with my husband this morning, he says I focus in all the bad things he does, instead of focusing in the good things, but never says that he is willing to work on those bad things and I am tired of being with someone who does not care about my feelings but him, I had the last talking to him today, and I’m convinced not matter what that everything will be exactly the same, and I’m not willing to be miserable and unhappy anymore. You do t know how many times I tried talking to him and we never fix anything, he always feel attack and defensive and I just can’t communicate, I have told him to leave him many times, but I’m ready now! I to,d him it was your last chance, I won’t entertain this anymore I will just continue looking for a place to live and stop fighting over this.
Please do it's going to start making u physically sick...your mind is probably consumed with him all the time, u probably feel depressed often in between trying to move on in your mind and u probably be upset with yourself that u chose him...probably wish u could go back in time and change it all and see what life could of been...u probably think of all the time u spent in it and u can't get it back...i can go on and on about how i feel....i thought your comment was something i had written until i realized this video was just made! Joy is being sucked out of you...where is the joy part in the whole relationship? How can u have joy with someone u can't talk to and won't accept and talk about the truths and what can be done to fix them so u can start walking together on a better path....it's hard when your feelings/needs don't matter but there's does and then u are told that U are the problem for it all....smh
My Story
Have you tried marriage counseling? Or individual counseling? Do you think maybe it's how you are communicating to him, like Stephen mentioned?
I get you are tired and I am not blaming you, just saying, before you throw in the towel on your marriage. I hope you two can fix it and move forward, happily and in peace. But if you feel you have given it your all and he is not meeting or trying, then, do what you have too do too have peace and be happy! Please don't take offense with what I said/asked.
It's not really a good thing telling them you're leaving,some women never made it out,just silently do what you going to do.
They don't understand that the bad things undermine anything good they ever did. And they don't intend to do anything about the bad stuff past getting you to calm down, when it will just start up again after. Enough.
He pretty much needs to be a GIVER and not a TAKER, whether it be financially, emotionally, sexually, etc. Stephan we need to clone you, thanks once again ❤
What I need to do is stop overplaying my position. If they've not told me they want this relationship, there isn't one.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
Why the guessing game? Are you incapable of asking for more so you get the answers you need?
I"m not going to tell someone how to treat me. I'll see what they offer and decide from there if it's what I want to partake in. @@h8h215
“Bad communicator” is one thing, “horrible communicator” is something different entirely. You’ll know it’s like hitting your head against a brick wall…
My husband at last 1/2 of our marriage never paid a bill for household or spend a dime on me or the home. He died last year and I will never put up with that disrespect again.
I'm sorry to hear about that and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏🏼
Why did you marry such a scrooge?
I would concentrate only on yourself now. Letting a new man into your home is a disaster, since in one way or another,men in general want to control and dictate your life after the honeymoon period is over.
goid rudane innhell
men know what they are doing and what they want. they do not lack awareness; they lack honesty
thatscriggt aneñ
Staying is like breathing Toxic air thats slowly killing you.
And by men getting help don’t forget medical and preventive help too. Too many men think just being in gym and drinking protein shakes mean they r good, meanwhile their A1C is over 7 and they r diabetic, have high blood pressure and cholesterol, their body about to expire with blood clots, strokes and cancer. Now u become the nurse and caretaker when that could be avoided by regular check ups. Too many men avoid going to the doctor.
This right here and that’s when they want to settle down …. When they’re getting older or are experiencing health issues
@@sashacollins1031 and I’m like NOPE. Go find a nice rehabilitative center or nursing home or get a nurse aid to come check up on you in YOUR home. I’ll be traveling, hanging with family and friends, being healthy and praising God ✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾
@@sashacollins1031🎯
A big thing for me is alcohol. If alcohol has to be a part of his life every day in order to “have fun”-RUN. All of our “dates” involved alcohol or he wanted to just hang out in bars. I’m talking about grown-as* men decades older than most people in the bar. 😅 Big flag. Nope.
They like to tell you that you just want to argue whenever you are actually trying to communicate, especially when it's something that they do not want to take responsibility for or to be accountable for...I love that. And my feelings were constantly dismissed.
My situation
That intro is spot on. I always say I’m NOT going to continue give a man what he wants if he’s not willing to fulfill my needs. And no I’m not talking about sex on either end.
One red flag and I’m gone, and people tell me I’m picky 🤦🏼♀️ no, I just have standards
I think thats fair, its not being picky if your going to spend your time and maybe even your life with a man its got to be the right one, as a man i use this method to.
I wish I knew this ten years ago
😂😂😅😂 same girl
So having standards means you’re picky since when you should have rights to what you want in a relationship or at least communicate together
Work this out together
A man once explained his ghosting me by saying he’s SO busy and doesn’t have time for dating. So I told him well let free it up for you .. lose my number cause you’re not getting any of MY time
🙏
good fir yoú
Open and honest communication and a willing mindset with mutual respect and understanding for each other is key, if there is no willingness, it’s pointless. Thank you Stephan. 🥰
Than you just stick with toxic hope if you stay.
Hi Stephan, I was dating a very insecure man who was on the verge of bankruptcy. I was paying more and more for him. As if that was not enough things didn't 'work' anymore in the bedroom. Thanks to your visits I convinced myself it was ok to break up with him. I haven't found someone else yet, but I am glad at least I have the possibility again to find something better.
I'm a great guy willing to improve as a partner. We all are unperfect and we all have wounds that may affect our current relationship. If there is a person who are willing to get better it's worth to be with that person.
You're absolutely right!
👍you are a real man, I'm proud of you my brother
gid forvyiou 1980 lover are oeferce oive til siaxectume cibtuine
Proud of you❤
Thank you for this video, Stephan! I had to walk away from a relationship I had with this guy because he was very disrespectful towards me. Although I would address how he treated me, he dismissed my feelings often. Also, he was unwilling to get help for his anger issues and I realized he was pulling me away from God.
Wow, this sounds like my ex fiancee from years ago! I'm so glad the trash (HIM) took itself out of my life. Best thing that ever happened to me.
Last guy i left didn't only dismiss my feelings he cussed me out in the process. Nd all I wanted was for him to be kinder when addressing me. Common human decency is not so common 😅
There was a brother who asked for my number but barely communicate. I knew he was playing games. I said what I had to say and left the cold🦃 alone for good👑🙏🏾📖
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
I had to stop at 3:44 to say this about men being terrible communicators. I know some women I’ve dated, in long term relationships who by the time they broached a heavy topic with me, they had journaled it, discussed it with their friends, wrote a script for the upcoming convo and edited. Then they turn around and expect you to be spitting out pure diamond responses. Ladies, please be respectful and give us some time to process what you want to talk about. At-least as much time as you have taken yourselves before especially before insisting on immediate replies.
I just saw most of your interview with Jay Shetty. Honestly, I love that I am witnessing a man walking in the glory of God to the extent that you are. It's completely life giving. And it's really giving me hope that there are men out there who actually want to grow and change. It's beautiful
So spot on about the money! My ex would literally spend 300€ on lego sets, but made a big deal out of buying me a cup of coffee/dinner🥴
We all come from different walks of life but I am a firm believer that when a man is ready and want you, he will make it happen. SMH, Stop playing games.
and then a women breaks his heart.
As a Law Advocate who worked in family court , before I went into criminal Law !
Most of the deciding factor for divorce rate being so high was over,,
Finance and sex ..
I found on the cases I sat in on!
Stephan, I've been following you for a while & have purchased almost all of your books; your products are stellar stuff! Your thoughts should be shared in schools; maybe there would be fewer divorces and domestic problems in our world. Kudos for what you share!
Thank you so much for your videos Stephan, they're soo helpful. That point about seeking help is a BIG 1🙌🏽 a lot of women underestimate and play the waiting game thinking he'd eventually come around. Sometimes cutting your losses sooner is better than hoping forever.
You're absolutely right. Thank you for sharing 🙏
I had a woman tell me I dismiss men quick. I told her, I don't need too be with a guy for years too see he is not the one! She had been in a five years relationship with a guy, who was abusive to her.
This comment is the truth. I had to cut a dude loose recently because he had too much going on, was not willing to communicate with me, and often would project his anger towards me if things weren't going his way in life. I was like no! It was too much for me.
😮💨 “sometimes cutting your losses sooner is better than hoping forever.” Whew, that right there!!!!!! 💯🎯
After divorce, I decided to hold off from dating and truly heal. In hindsight, I now see that I allowed every one of these behaviors from my ex-husband to continue without saying A Word! Thank God for Healing. I Have went through the long hard process of healing, and after all that I have been through, I won’t walk away immediately, BUT after we have a conversation and there is no changed behavior, we don’t need to continue. I don’t say that out of a place of coming off arrogant. This comes from confidence and now knowing who I am and what I want.
If your partner is insecure about something and self aware…meaning they own their insecurities and are not putting them on their partner, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask and expect your partner to consider your sensitivity to certain issues that trigger their insecurities. To be inflexible and just flat out dismiss, diminish or disregard is disgusting!
You have no idea.....
Thank you! Like your not ready for me but yet no one can have me it is not my job to heal you I did the work on myself nd I deserve a man whose whole !! Listening to you Stephan, RC Blake’s, etc.. has gotten me so far in my singleness ! I’m not entertaining a man who doesn’t know what he wants and or isn’t willing to put in the work. I’m not for any man ! God will reveal him to me until then thank you im flattered but I happily decline ! Can’t wait to see you Stephan in Boston !! 🙏🏾🙃
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
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Yep it's not our job to fix others. Personal responsibility is the only way 😉
The help part so on point and accurate. They just don't want to face their issues so they prefer to run away from everything instead
Women- instead of trying repeatedly, listen to STEPHAN- let go of trying to control him and LEAVE. This is about YOU, he’s not the only one with a problem. I’m struggling with this to btw lol- no judgement. Fml.
Also what I’ve found is if I’m judging a man too much, it means our values aren’t aligned and I won’t feel secure in the relationship. Judging a man is a red flag regarding him unless you overly judgy on small things.
There is a difference is assessing and judging it’s ok to assess a person for your life, u only get one
I accidentally stumbled upon this video ON PURPOSE!!! Wow! So timely and sobering. Thank you🤣🙏🏾
My pleasure ❤️
I was scrolling for meditation music 😂 but this was universal lol
I've taken A VOW OF CELIBACY until
I'm MARRIED. because I WANT A TRULY HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
How old are you? Genuine question.
I’m in my 50s and now I’m there with Audrey. The goods will be there for my husband when God presents Him to me!!! God is so good He takes me back, every time!!!
Some marriages can be unhealthy. Just a word of warning.
It’s great to get married but what are you marrying is more important. Marriage ain’t no fairytale and some can be so toxic. Not trying to discourage you but take your time to get to know someone.
My ex-husband was 5 out of the 7. Which is a huge part of why he is my EX. There was more on top of it that finally caused me to pack up and leave. Bottom line: we didn't belong together and I wish I had realized it sooner. But what's done is done, moving on.
A lot of person are divorce. You will survive and once you strive to be better you will get better.
I’m so happy you mentioned social media. I walked away from my ex 4 mos ago and moved out because I could no longer compete with social media. I expressed my concern and he still did what he wanted and I was the insecure one. Okay then deuces.
The looking and likes are suggestive hints at hookups. Notice guys don't do that to older, fat, or ugly women. That's your clue right there. And they wanna hold all women only worthy if they look like the young cute ones on social media even if they're way outta their league. They have to somehow pay and they will to get them.
When he values you, he will not dismiss your feelings. I had to learn that and I was ok walking away. After all he came back to me after I left him the last 2x. The difference this time is the m staying no contact bc if he tries to come back again, I don’t want to fall for it. I love him very much, but my sanity was at stake this time.
Wow. Going thru this type of situation. Trying to say social media is separate from real life when it benefits them
I found picture after picture of girls my boyfriend was liking, loving on his Facebook. All ages but all beautiful. Some half naked. It huuuurt. That is in no way acceptable when in a relationship. He supposedly shut down Facebook but I don't DO NOT trust him anymore. I don't trust his intentions or his mind or his loyalty. I believe if a man, or woman, is into you their desire is for you. Not sitting on social media viewing other females. It is a big eye opener that is for sure.
Wonderfully said!
You are a gift to humanity ❤ You have helped me so much. Some of us have trouble finding reasonable perspectives as we heal from trauma, and you always have such a clear and consistent message.
I grew up without a father and a narcissist mom. So I didn't know my worth. I felt worthless. I met what I was familiar with a narcissist man. 21 years of a circus. Finally 8 years free and no longer want to be in a relationship with no one. 😢
Narcissist tend to leave all their victims feeling this way. I was married unbeknownst to a narcissist and it was six years of being apart of an evil circus show and his creepy mother was the ringmaster. When that marriage ended I felt like a walking dead I was exhausted spiritually and physically. I felt like dying. It’s prayer, going to Church and the Lord Jesus Christ build me back up from nothing. Love yourself first.
Same experience! But had my first born be used as a weapon against me in family court.
Heal ❤
Im single now for most of these reasons. And one of the biggest things was i realized we needed god in it.
Boundaries, we got to make those boundaries ladies ❤
** I should add everything this genius of a man is sayn does apply to toxic fam too ❤
Hell fucking yes
A man calling a woman '' B#$%&'' is terrible.
Just so you know from personal experience. A woman having a difficulty leaving an abusive relationship could be because the leaving or getting him to leave is itself very dangerous.
Great video. So many people stay bc they can't afford to lose them financially, every day living. Only provide them with food and shelter. Very sad. I left my marriage even though it was tough especially financially I moved on to be happy.
It definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏
This is an excellent video. Your videos are becoming more complex, in depth and meaningful. Thank you Stephan for bringing clarity to these abstract yet essential issues.
I'm happy this has been helpful to you. Don't forget to share so that others can receive love, healing, and clarity ❤ 🙏
Nothing in this life is perfect, but this video was almost there! Brilliant advise Stephan, its truly appreciated, thank you.
My pleasure ❤️
Just want to say thanks for putting up the dv hotline number and touching on that briefly. Connecting each other with resources is critical 🙏🏼
Thank you for touching on the money issue! It's so much deeper than the dollar, it's a mindset connected to how we spend money. WILLINGNESS is so important, he has to have a heart for his woman.
yes old day goód lover got sex dungein thats açe tvoro ovdrs
I just love listening to you ❤I’ve been working on healing for 2 years and working on being my best self. I’m walking my path as a healer helping others with my service dogs spreading love ❤lifting spirits for many ❤ I will continue to do gods work ✨🙏✨helping others 🥰 II just need a hug you inspire. Thank you so much. Also, I just wanted to tell you purple looks great on you. It’s my favorite color super spiritual.❤
I hate the fact of starting over I’m 50+ and I’m drained 😢
It’s okay! Forgive yourself and grow. You are still alive. Now is a great time to live the life you’ve wanted.
Me too!
Very good point about getting help because you can waste a long time in a dead end if they are not willing to fix issues.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
I have listened to your content on and off and you have wonderful advice. I have learned through experience and advice you have mentioned in this video and others. Stop making excuses for the behaviors that are shown. Don’t get upset and simply make it known it’s not something that will work out because you can see it and the actions of the person shows it. With that said I have had men come back to me because they mentioned I was a good woman. I refuse to take them back, that is directly saying I accept how you treat me. Fear is the biggest thing in ending something and starting again. Once you accept and know your value, though you may be hurt it is better for both people in the long run. No yelling needed.
Thank you! I truly needed to apply this logic a few years ago. Confirmation received, he’s not the man God has for me💜
Thanks you so much Stephan. You touch on so many level. So profound, fact, and truth.
Thank you for sharing this video I really appreciated everything you shared and it really helped me be happy with my choice to walk away from my last situation and how unaligned it was with my true self. Wish you the best and big Aloha in your life for all the hard work and joy you a give to the world 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Thanks for putting things in perspective for us Stephan, alot of us women are more naive than we are willing to admit as to what healthy relationship looks like, which is why we often end up being "used or played" and inevitably hurt. Also thanks for the guidance you provide to the brothers who are willing to work on becoming the best version of themselves so that they can treat their woman like the queen she is and she will in return be delighted to honour her kind. Continued blessings on this needed ministry geared towards building stronger and better relationships.
"normalizing toxic behavior" right on Stephan! your insights in this video are deeply appreciated
I feels like screaming loud & beating my hands/fists against the floor in angst & deep disappointment the deepest betrayal against another human being. You are a great & valued teacher. Simply thank you for being here for us xoxo
AMEN STEPHAN! SPEAK THE TRUTH! Thank you for your awesome video 💯💯💯💯
I only want God Himself to lead me to the love of my life. If that man is in love with Jesus, then that man can love you the way you deserve to be loved! God bless you Stephan!
Amen yes you have to Love our Loving Dear Sweet Almighty Wonderful HEAVENLY FATHER through Loving Sweet Wonderful Beautiful Glorious Gracious Almighty JESUS CHRIST. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾😇😇🙏🏾🙏🏾😇😇😇😇😇😇😇❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾😇😇😇😇😇😇🙏🏾
Stephan I just want to thank you for always taking time to give great words of wisdom for dating may God continue to bless you my brother!
Amen 🙏
Sooo very helpful and important points. I need to absorb and hold on to them. Thank you, Stephan.
You are really helping me with my new relationship. Not leading with emotions. First man I have been with that will sit me down & let me know he is not dealing with it & helps me to understand myself more. I have been doing it all wrong
Very true. If you love yourself or you are learning to love yourself, then you will truly understand this.
Thank God for you ! Love you for this ministry. You are helping so many.
I like how honest and straightforward you make your point. Thank you for such great advice.
Your video is helping me heal. Sending well wishes and gratitude to you and your viewers 🙌🏻 Thank you kindly Stephan
I can't understand how a man don't want to communicate properly. he giving all the nice talk and yet lacking in talking, .it's best he say he finish with the friendship thanks Stephen another nice video.
My EX would spend money on himself and his family but not me. I had to pay half of meals and everything! I thought I was proving that I loved him and not money but I was devaluing myself and when I finally realized that he was devaluing me, I said bye bye!
Valuing myself. Bamm!
Cheap men are the biggest turn off! Thank you for co-signing what I've known all this time lol. Its gonna be a no from me dawg.
All points are true and even when they still maintain on the principles that they won't be the same if they accept your ideas..... Thank you STEPHAN...
Damnn Stephen. Every one of your videos and advice is straight fire. Im not easily impressed but you really do know what you are talking about. Every piece of advice is straight facts and 100% spot on. I just had a conversation with my single friend about literally all of these points and open up my day to this video. Not many people have such a strong understanding of relationships dynamics as you do. People take his advice - it 100% works.
Sharing my notes:
If a man is not willing to give you what you need, then stop giving him what he wants!
They belive that its temporary cosequenses when you tolerate, stay, or wait for them to act right.
- Horrible communication (unwillingness discuss important issues) - open up to them and express yourself in a calm and loving manner
- He wont spend money with you (he doesnt value you and not serious, not priority) - depends on financial situation
- Disrespectful (on feelings) he acts that way because you tolertae it, you cannot wait to do right by you; if it doest meet your standards its done; discuss the feeling of disrespect
- Social media (liking, commenting and messaging) - discuss proper social media etiquette as early as possible as it may be bothering you
- Dismissing your feelings (cannot be tolerated and accepted as it cause alot of resentment and negativity on you) - alot of men dont understand and lack of compassion to women when it doent make sense to them logically; its foreign to them to understand and how to be more considerate; learn to adress things and expressing; simplify sometimes what you're saying; establish to your partner when venting but if you want him to understand be on point of what you want
- Cannot sexually satisfy you (its unhealthy and set up for a disaster) ends up not caring for you partner and making excuses; starts to feel lke burden chore; true key to great sex in the long term is connection it can be fixed (two people pouring the needs and desires of their partner, two unselfish lovers; when there is connection there is a deeper desire to pleasure your partner; no desire they get selfish so it throws everything off). Men that can't handle the criticisms = end up with a relationship where an issues arises and unable to talk about it (ESTABLISH BOTH SIDES THAT "WE" CAN TALK ABOUT IT WHEN THINGS IS FALLING SHORT; WHEN THINGS ARE NOT WHERE WE NEED THEM TO BE; WHEN THINGS NEED TO BE IMPROVED ON)
Its pointless to be sexually available to him while not be able to feel satisfaction; if it will impact your willingness to show up
CONNECTION AND/THEN LACK OF SATISFACTION IS THE ROOT OF FAILED/BROKEN RELATIONSHIP
- Who dont believe in getting help (unwillingness to get help) against therapy, "if all else fails is there an option"; they hold on to the issue and doesnt want to face them; premarital consultation; [his willingness to atleast go to God: it helps as third mediator seeing who can help see things that are not seen in situation; tap into spiritual level]
- Pull you away from God (NON NEGOTIABLE NOTHING WILL MOVE FORWARD TO IT; it isnt for you; believe that God will lead you to the right man); ask yourself if its helping you to get closer and have stronger relationship with God; disrespectful of beliefs; pulling you away; you choose to be distracted and derailed to whom is not in allignment with you just to be with him; some manage some dont
Thanks for breaking it down..
Thank you
Thank you😊
Thanks for this clear msg Stehpan. Love your views
You always bring us videos to help us do the right things thank you so much stephan may God bless you and your job always 🙏
I broke up with my ex because I was offended when he chose to not respond to my memes.
It was important to me - I communicated it to him. He chose to ignore it. It felt offensive and calculative - basically a whole lot of ‘how much will she tolerate before she leaves’.
I left.
If he chooses to ignore me this soon (this was 2/3 months into dating), it’s only going to get worse.
Amen! Your Wisdom is absolutely and Simpy Profound!
❤️ 🙂 Thank you very much. I appreciate that 🙏
This is so great. I'm 75,and thought i found my soul mate. After 1 visit in marriage counseling, saw that this relationship should not go forward after now wanting to do the things he suggested that he suggested necessarily before marriage. I thank God i went to God first, then He lead me to have Pastorial counseling. The best advice in every life change. Thank you ❤️
You're looking great brother Stephan, You're Glowing! Keep up the good works! And great wisdom right here! Thank you, May God continue to love and bless you exceedingly, abundantly!!