🧡 If you find benefit in my videos, consider supporting the channel by joining us on Patreon and get fun extras like exclusive videos, ad-free audio-only versions, and extensive show notes: www.patreon.com/dougsseculardharma 🙂 📙 You can find my new book here: books2read.com/buddhisthandbook
I really regret to being aggressive with you in the past, sorry Doug. And thanks brother for helping me learn to listen. I started to be a little more fun when I started helping by this encounter with you -- albeit little by little. I can thank you now because I feel like I learned, I forgave myself. Thankz bro.
I love this Doug. I practice kindness and unfortunately when I don’t get the same in return, it hurts, but I remind myself that we need more kindness in this world. 🙏🏻
Don’t practice kindness expecting something in return. Just do what you have to do, without expecting anything. Then you can help, without attachment to some expected response or reciprocation.
When i feel hurt,i observe it with bare awareness.It arises,stays and fade out.Budhhism is about self observation with bare awareness to realise the truth of our conciouness which will lead to the cosmic conciousness.🙂
Yes, it can be hard to practice kindness and not have it returned, but indeed in the longer term the aim is to release craving for any particular response. Just be kind and have confidence that over time it will make a difference, even if it's not apparent right now. 🙏
"Why be kind?" - You are courageous for asking such a question. May those who need to hear the answer benefit from having open ears, and you from their attention.
At first when I saw this video in my feed, I decided not to watch it. I thought "oh, kindness, I know about that. Kindness is great and I practice it every day." But, 2 minutes in, I'm realizing that I could never have enough reminders of the importance of being kind. I had an experience today where I really saw the truth of the statement "being unkind hurts us too." It felt like something I already knew, but I think it's really difficult to resist the urge to hurt back once you yourself have been hurt.
Karma is NEVER about reward or punishment. It's much more nuanced and complex than that. The concept of "deserve" is a philosophical notion of a monotheistic Judeo-Christian culture (atheists are affected by this too although they don't see it) and has no place in Buddhism. Karma is cause and effect; it has nothing to do with "payback" from past behaviour (good or bad) in another life. It's not an excuse for happens to us in this life it is an explanation of why these events happen to us at all. It's not a fluke, it's not chance, it's not destiny. It's difficult to explain karma in a sentence or two. If people are interested in finding out more about karma and how it works I highly recommend listening to my teacher Venerable Robina Courtin. She is an Australian Buddhist nun and a fantastic teacher. Robina can explain Buddhist concepts like karma in a language that we westerners can understand. (Warning: she talks fast so you have to pay attention). Check out her 4-part teaching on karma and emptiness on UA-cam.
@@DougsDharma I have a question. Like many people in the West I suppose you was born and raised as a Christian. When you choose to follow Buddha's path didn't you have inner struggles due to your culture background? Don't you have the sensation you were betraying your culture and roots? Even though, in my opinion Buddhism is the right path. How do you deal with your Christian roots?
@@rafaelecattonar1506 I actually was born and raised Christan and now have been practicing Buddhism happily for about a year and a half. Yes there was a struggle for me but for me it was more of how I left Christianity first and I was afraid to get back into something religious. But as I studied it I became more comfortable and it just kinda called to me. I'll give you some advice from my own experience. First of all you can be a Christan and practice Buddhism at the same time, because they are two different philosophies that mostly focus on different things, but they don't "cancel each other out" is the best way I can put it. One of our teachers that I practice with is a Dharma teacher and also a Christan. Secondly, you don't have to forget your Christan teachings, the way I see it some people say God, others say the Tao, but whatever is with us is beyond our ability to comprehend it and we have came up with ideas and names to try to understand something that we can't. What both the Buddha and Jesus taught were how can we help people and be compassionate right now and that is what is important. Anyway, I'm not a good teacher haha. Go into it with an open mind, there is a great book by Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh called "Living Buddha Living Christ" that I think would help you much more than I could. Good luck and I know you'll find your way.
Very generous of you to discuss your own struggle for our benefit. I believe compassion for ourselves will expand to compassion for others. I agree, we should exert ourselves to not wish for misery for others. Many thanks for providing wisdom and debate on these important topics.
@@DougsDharma I really regret to being aggressive with you in the past, sorry Doug. And thanks brother for helping me learn to listen. I started to be a little more fun when I started helping by this encounter with you -- albeit little by little. I can thank you now because I feel like I learned, I forgave myself.
The harder thing about this as a lay person not commited to give up some ambitions in life, including some of which can be kind of altruístic, is that anger only stop being useful as I give up these ambitions. Buddhism offers a path, if you are a monk, in which few people - i guess - will want to harm you because you don't represent a threat to their attainments, or people in dispute will also be in a path of being kind (e.g.: buddhists disagreeing about teachings). But if you are a lay person with desires I think you will have to be really lucky if you are not dealing with people trying to harm you to get something out of you, and at some times unkindness comes handy as a reflexive defense mechanism for not being abused.
Great topic. Even though it is difficult, and I can't do every time, whenever I can be happy for others I feel much better. I hope to keep practicing kindness as much as I can. Love your videos Doug.
What a wonderful topic for this time of year. The magic of the holidays can sometimes bring about an increase in feelings of kindness and compassion. I think it is so valuable to take time to reflect on this feelings and find ways to foster their growth throughout the year. Thank you for your wonderful videos.
I agree that being happy for others success brings you more positive energy rather than being jealous and it will only makes you feel more down. Buddha teaches it's not about making a lot of money to buy big houses, fancy cars and clothes etc... but just enough to survive and we use that time we have to practice Buddhism and meditation instead of working overtime to have payments for materialist things.
Thank you very much for this wonderful video. You mentioned so many situations I can absolutely referring to, so this video answers so many questions, I was thinking about on myself. So again: Thanks a lot. 🙏 Have a beautiful day! 😊
I have some loosely confusing thoughts about Buddhism. First it is what you call, I think, self liberation / self attained. The Buddha said "be your own light." Then I believe in karma "I am the owner of my karma. I inherit my karma. I am born of my karma. I am related to my karma. I live supported by my karma. Whatever karma I create, whether good or evil, that I shall inherit." Then when I meditate, many times my thoughts always involve other people. Then I saw on UA-cam something about Ajahn Chah kicked Ajahn Nyanadhammo in the chest and told him in Ajahn Nyanadhammo's words "On monk says something you don't like and then another monk says good morning and you're delighted all day. Do not get lost in the words of others. Watch your own mind..." Then somehow I think it is for your own liberation. Practicing like wholesome states of mind for your own liberation. Be your own light.
I find it hard to stay kind to people around me who can be very rude, cruel and angry. Its hard to fight that base instinct to just return with the same attitude. I guess I just try my best and hope that I stop myself more than not.
Yes good points. It can also be good practice simply to leave behind people who are cruel and angry. If we can help them without hurting ourselves too much that's great, but often that isn't the case and then it may be better just to move on. This is one thing the Buddha recommends.
Hi. What you say applies to most situations in life. What I really struggle with is how to deal with the fact that there are people in this world who abuse children in the most horrific way for whom I cannot help but feel a visceral hatred.
Maybe those who abuse their children were victims when they were young so now they release the penned up anger they have.i am not saying we do nothing but by hating does not help.i found that with mindfulness and compassion for all beings including those who done evil, training,its possible.I used to hate hitler,now i don't for he is subject to illness and death and ignorant of his impending death.
@@DougsDharma Thanks for responding but l find that a tad glib. Neat aphorisms are great but if we can't draw a line on what we are we can forgive, what is morality for?
@@coolnamebro Yes and l'm a very flawed person but there's faults and faults. To equate the many common flaws in human nature with paedophilia makes a mockery of our capacity for discernment. IMHO. Thanks for responding tho.
Hi Ken, I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with this. You're right -- it's despicable what humans can do to other humans, even children. And it's not wrong to feel upset by that, I think it's very natural, and probably serves an evolutionary purpose. We wouldn't have made it this far as a species if we didn't feel that kind of anger sometimes. Unfortunately, we as individuals are often victims of our genes. The feeling is a call to action -- that's its purpose. But we don't always have a clear path to fixing the injustice we see. I think that's why it's important to find space between yourself and the feeling. Focus on what the feeling means and the change you wish to effect, but resist the urge toward despair. You have to be allowed to feel the feeling, but if you let it consume you, you can't actually fight the demons that gave you the feeling in the first place.
🧡 If you find benefit in my videos, consider supporting the channel by joining us on Patreon and get fun extras like exclusive videos, ad-free audio-only versions, and extensive show notes: www.patreon.com/dougsseculardharma 🙂
📙 You can find my new book here: books2read.com/buddhisthandbook
I really regret to being aggressive with you in the past, sorry Doug. And thanks brother for helping me learn to listen. I started to be a little more fun when I started helping by this encounter with you -- albeit little by little. I can thank you now because I feel like I learned, I forgave myself. Thankz bro.
No worries, MC. 🙏😊
I love this Doug. I practice kindness and unfortunately when I don’t get the same in return, it hurts, but I remind myself that we need more kindness in this world. 🙏🏻
Don’t practice kindness expecting something in return. Just do what you have to do, without expecting anything. Then you can help, without attachment to some expected response or reciprocation.
When i feel hurt,i observe it with bare awareness.It arises,stays and fade out.Budhhism is about self observation with bare awareness to realise the truth of our conciouness which will lead to the cosmic conciousness.🙂
Yes, it can be hard to practice kindness and not have it returned, but indeed in the longer term the aim is to release craving for any particular response. Just be kind and have confidence that over time it will make a difference, even if it's not apparent right now. 🙏
@@firstname7769 yes, I think attachment to kindness will turn into distracting emotions like judgment hate and anger, sooner or later
"Why be kind?" - You are courageous for asking such a question. May those who need to hear the answer benefit from having open ears, and you from their attention.
That's my hope as well, Cameron: that those who need to hear the message will hear it. 🙏
At first when I saw this video in my feed, I decided not to watch it. I thought "oh, kindness, I know about that. Kindness is great and I practice it every day." But, 2 minutes in, I'm realizing that I could never have enough reminders of the importance of being kind. I had an experience today where I really saw the truth of the statement "being unkind hurts us too." It felt like something I already knew, but I think it's really difficult to resist the urge to hurt back once you yourself have been hurt.
Yes exactly. It's actually a really hard practice for many of us, but so critical.
Thank you, Doug! Although compassion comes very natural to me, I find sympathetic joy to be difficult. I hope to cultivate this emotional state more.
Yes, they are all beneficial!
Karma is NEVER about reward or punishment. It's much more nuanced and complex than that. The concept of "deserve" is a philosophical notion of a monotheistic Judeo-Christian culture (atheists are affected by this too although they don't see it) and has no place in Buddhism. Karma is cause and effect; it has nothing to do with "payback" from past behaviour (good or bad) in another life. It's not an excuse for happens to us in this life it is an explanation of why these events happen to us at all. It's not a fluke, it's not chance, it's not destiny.
It's difficult to explain karma in a sentence or two. If people are interested in finding out more about karma and how it works I highly recommend listening to my teacher Venerable Robina Courtin. She is an Australian Buddhist nun and a fantastic teacher. Robina can explain Buddhist concepts like karma in a language that we westerners can understand. (Warning: she talks fast so you have to pay attention). Check out her 4-part teaching on karma and emptiness on UA-cam.
Hello doug, I Just found your Channel and would like to thank you for it, its great! Greetings from Brazil
Awesome, thank you and welcome, Angelo! 🙏
@@DougsDharma I have a question. Like many people in the West I suppose you was born and raised as a Christian. When you choose to follow Buddha's path didn't you have inner struggles due to your culture background? Don't you have the sensation you were betraying your culture and roots? Even though, in my opinion Buddhism is the right path. How do you deal with your Christian roots?
@@rafaelecattonar1506 Ah no I wasn't raised Christian, so never had to deal with such worries.
@@DougsDharma any advices for those who want to become Buddhists?
@@rafaelecattonar1506 I actually was born and raised Christan and now have been practicing Buddhism happily for about a year and a half. Yes there was a struggle for me but for me it was more of how I left Christianity first and I was afraid to get back into something religious. But as I studied it I became more comfortable and it just kinda called to me. I'll give you some advice from my own experience. First of all you can be a Christan and practice Buddhism at the same time, because they are two different philosophies that mostly focus on different things, but they don't "cancel each other out" is the best way I can put it. One of our teachers that I practice with is a Dharma teacher and also a Christan. Secondly, you don't have to forget your Christan teachings, the way I see it some people say God, others say the Tao, but whatever is with us is beyond our ability to comprehend it and we have came up with ideas and names to try to understand something that we can't. What both the Buddha and Jesus taught were how can we help people and be compassionate right now and that is what is important. Anyway, I'm not a good teacher haha. Go into it with an open mind, there is a great book by Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh called "Living Buddha Living Christ" that I think would help you much more than I could. Good luck and I know you'll find your way.
Today is a good day in Buddhism ☸☺ Amitabha Buddha
😊🙏
Very True !
🙏😊
Have missed your outdoor videos! Thank you for what you do!
😄Thanks Patrick! It's been difficult to record outside due to the weather, noise, etc. but I'd like to be able to do it more often!
Thank you.
My pleasure, Jason!
So true. Thanks
🙏😊
Wonderful! very well done, Doug. Thanks
My pleasure, John!
Very generous of you to discuss your own struggle for our benefit. I believe compassion for ourselves will expand to compassion for others. I agree, we should exert ourselves to not wish for misery for others. Many thanks for providing wisdom and debate on these important topics.
My pleasure, Archie. Glad you found the discussion worthwhile. 🙏
Sadhu sadhu
Thank you and your team!
Please keep spreading the 🕯️
You're very welcome! But there's no team here, only me! 😄 Maybe someday ...
Thanks, love & metta from Germany! 💞
Thank you too! 🙏😊
I love Doug's Dharma
🙏😊🌼
Thank you, brother.
🙏😊
@@DougsDharma I really regret to being aggressive with you in the past, sorry Doug. And thanks brother for helping me learn to listen. I started to be a little more fun when I started helping by this encounter with you -- albeit little by little. I can thank you now because I feel like I learned, I forgave myself.
Thank you for this video.
My pleasure!
thanks Doug
🙏😊
I awake everyday.and think how can I make life a little better for someone today.thats how I try to live my daily Life.
That's a lovely sentiment!
Making life better for the moment prolongs the suffering of life.
The harder thing about this as a lay person not commited to give up some ambitions in life, including some of which can be kind of altruístic, is that anger only stop being useful as I give up these ambitions. Buddhism offers a path, if you are a monk, in which few people - i guess - will want to harm you because you don't represent a threat to their attainments, or people in dispute will also be in a path of being kind (e.g.: buddhists disagreeing about teachings). But if you are a lay person with desires I think you will have to be really lucky if you are not dealing with people trying to harm you to get something out of you, and at some times unkindness comes handy as a reflexive defense mechanism for not being abused.
True, the lay path is more difficult in many respects as the Buddha himself noted. 🙏
Great topic. Even though it is difficult, and I can't do every time, whenever I can be happy for others I feel much better. I hope to keep practicing kindness as much as I can. Love your videos Doug.
Thanks so much Yuval. 🙏😊
Thanks DS my sibling ☀️✝️
🙏😊
What a wonderful topic for this time of year. The magic of the holidays can sometimes bring about an increase in feelings of kindness and compassion. I think it is so valuable to take time to reflect on this feelings and find ways to foster their growth throughout the year. Thank you for your wonderful videos.
I agree Stormy, thanks for the comment! 🙏😊
I agree that being happy for others success brings you more positive energy rather than being jealous and it will only makes you feel more down.
Buddha teaches it's not about making a lot of money to buy big houses, fancy cars and clothes etc... but just enough to survive and we use that time
we have to practice Buddhism and meditation instead of working overtime to have payments for materialist things.
Yes, the Buddha wasn't opposed to laypeople making money, but he pointed out the dangers of stress, greed, anger, and conflict that come with it.
Hello hello,Your Fan From Srilanka😎💖 You are Doing Amazing Work,
Love 💖Light🌞Peace🕊️
Thank you so much! 🙏😊
Well said.
Thanks, Dread. 🙏
So did you stand the cold? 🥶
The background is so beautiful
Thanks Metta! Yes, I was able to stand it, but then I was happy to get back inside! 😄😄
Nice to see you Doug 🙏
Thank you kindly, Austin!
this is a very relevant topic for what my year has been like personally, this is exactly what I needed without knowing I needed it! Thanks Doug!!
I'm so glad it was helpful, Hannah! 🙏
Thank you so much! I am really appreciative of the work you are doing and have helped me learn a lot about Buddhism and its main principles.
Ah, so nice to hear! 🙏😊
Thank you very much for this wonderful video. You mentioned so many situations I can absolutely referring to, so this video answers so many questions, I was thinking about on myself.
So again: Thanks a lot. 🙏
Have a beautiful day! 😊
My pleasure, Sven. Thanks for your comment! 🙏😊
I have some loosely confusing thoughts about Buddhism. First it is what you call, I think, self liberation / self attained. The Buddha said "be your own light." Then I believe in karma "I am the owner of my karma.
I inherit my karma. I am born of my karma. I am related to my karma. I live supported by my karma. Whatever karma I create, whether good or evil, that I shall inherit." Then when I meditate, many times my thoughts always involve other people. Then I saw on UA-cam something about Ajahn Chah kicked Ajahn Nyanadhammo in the chest and told him in Ajahn Nyanadhammo's words "On monk says something you don't like and then another monk says good morning and you're delighted all day. Do not get lost in the words of others. Watch your own mind..." Then somehow I think it is for your own liberation. Practicing like wholesome states of mind for your own liberation. Be your own light.
Yes, though it can be extremely helpful to have a good teacher to guide you.
🙏
🙏😊
I find it hard to stay kind to people around me who can be very rude, cruel and angry. Its hard to fight that base instinct to just return with the same attitude. I guess I just try my best and hope that I stop myself more than not.
Yes good points. It can also be good practice simply to leave behind people who are cruel and angry. If we can help them without hurting ourselves too much that's great, but often that isn't the case and then it may be better just to move on. This is one thing the Buddha recommends.
Great video! Greetings from Spain 💛
¡Gracias Rubén! Saludos a España. 🙏
Hi. What you say applies to most situations in life. What I really struggle with is how to deal with the fact that there are people in this world who abuse children in the most horrific way for whom I cannot help but feel a visceral hatred.
Yes. Hatred evokes hatred, as the Buddha said.
Maybe those who abuse their children were victims when they were young so now they release the penned up anger they have.i am not saying we do nothing but by hating does not help.i found that with mindfulness and compassion for all beings including those who done evil, training,its possible.I used to hate hitler,now i don't for he is subject to illness and death and ignorant of his impending death.
@@DougsDharma Thanks for responding but l find that a tad glib. Neat aphorisms are great but if we can't draw a line on what we are we can forgive, what is morality for?
@@coolnamebro Yes and l'm a very flawed person but there's faults and faults. To equate the many common flaws in human nature with paedophilia makes a mockery of our capacity for discernment. IMHO. Thanks for responding tho.
Hi Ken, I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with this. You're right -- it's despicable what humans can do to other humans, even children. And it's not wrong to feel upset by that, I think it's very natural, and probably serves an evolutionary purpose. We wouldn't have made it this far as a species if we didn't feel that kind of anger sometimes.
Unfortunately, we as individuals are often victims of our genes. The feeling is a call to action -- that's its purpose. But we don't always have a clear path to fixing the injustice we see. I think that's why it's important to find space between yourself and the feeling. Focus on what the feeling means and the change you wish to effect, but resist the urge toward despair. You have to be allowed to feel the feeling, but if you let it consume you, you can't actually fight the demons that gave you the feeling in the first place.
❤
🙏😊
thank you for everything 🙏🏽
Ps: what is the name of your camera model? 🙏🏽
You're very welcome! It's a Panasonic G85.
Want to get round to reading that book ' love thy enemy' by Robert Thurman
Ah, sounds interesting!
@@DougsDharma ua-cam.com/video/l3LkHq96OG0/v-deo.html
I find it difficult to be kind to myself.
Yes, I agree. It can take practice.
if being kind benefits myself i dont wanna do it because i dont deserve good things... oof i feel stuck
Ah yes. Indeed, kindness to oneself is a key practice. 🙏😊
Myselves....Freudian slip on his past lives
😄😄