This is song is about accepting who you are, she is basically saying "Look some days I'm not gonna be this perfect person, I'm going to have my bad days and I'm going to have my good days." The lyric about "you might have to be a stronger man" I always interpreted as meaning that the guy needs to accept her for who she is and not try to change her into what he wants her to be. I have also read in an interview that the reason for the title of the song was as a means of taking back the word and use it for empowering oneself instead of using it to degrade a person.
Yes, this ties into how a lot of girls hearing "You Ought to Know" by Alanis Morissette for the first time were all 'Wait, what? You're allowed to be mad?' These two songs along with "I'm Just a Girl" by No Doubt were instrumental in deconstructing what I would now describe as toxic femininity. They all challenge the biddable female crap we were being force fed.
It's funny how this song is about empowerment, about being able to say this is who I am no matter what you expected me. Yet the reactor, whom I DO have a lot of respect for. Still places blame on the female for being a whole person. Kind of ironic, no?
I think another aspect that is worth mentioning is the time and atmosphere when this came out. There was a bit of a girl-power movement going on with NoDoubt, SpiceGirls, etc in the mid-to-late 90s, pushing back on the ingrained misogyny of much of the popular music. I had a roommate that felt this was her anthem-- like a chest thump saying I AM ME, BITE ME IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT! After being forced under the thumbs of her male family members in the years prior, it was very empowering for her. Plus it lends itself very well to being belted out in the car at full-tilt. Lol.
Love Meredith! It's all about the dichotomies of the human psyche. Everyone is f**Ed up in one way or another. You just need to find someone who's weirdness meshes with yours.
My interpretation of this was always a girl power theme, like the person she's singing to always idealized her, made her out to be perfect, sweet, kind, but she's so much more than that, and if dude wants to stick around, he'd better catch up to her because she refuses to hide her true self.
The "you may have to be a stronger man" in this doesn't strike me as guilting or commanding or anything so much as... iunno, sort of a warning? Like, "Look, I'm a mess, I make mistakes, I have problems I struggle with. If you want me, you're going to need to be able to handle that, or you're going to just be miserable waiting for the version of me you want to come back or trying to 'fix' me." I want to say that I do appreciate how it seems like you want to keep everyone to the same standards of being decent to each other and letting everyone live their own lives and such. Context can dramatically change what that actually means, though. I can understand how she can seem like she's presenting herself as a toxic, demanding, manipulative person, and honestly things like that still need to be watched for within the sorts of contexts that would make the song seem more reasonable. In this case, this song has generally been taken to be a sort of "I'm sick of trying to conform to your stereotypes of what women are or 'should' be. I'm tired of trying to live up to the expectations placed on me, and of being villainized ('I'm a bitch' 'I'm a sinner' 'I'm your hell' etc) when I don't. I'm just human. Accept that I'm just human, and that I have things I struggle with. I refuse to be shamed for being human."
I love this song, and I always took it as her being very honest and true to who she was… sometimes a hot mess, always a mass of contradictions. Like most of us. And saying, basically, if you’re gonna be with me, I’m a lot. Good and bad. And I think you kinda like that… and I know I do. And I don’t think she flipped/tricked him… but she does think maybe sometimes he thinks the good is the “real her” and she knows it’s all her.
I don’t think she’s saying she depicted herself a certain way, I think she’s saying that this is who she is and he’s chosen to see her another way. And she’s saying I’m not perfect and you need to choose to accept it or not. A lot of people do this in relationships, they meet someone and only see what they want in the person in the beginning, they ignore the warning signs of the stuff that they may not like.
Exactly. I also think that it’s typical for people, in the beginning of a relationship, to show their sweet and innocent side first but as you get to know the person, you realize they’re more than just that. We all experience sadness, anger, frustration, etc. and by being a ‘stronger man’ is to stand by her side and put up with her emotions just like she would for him
I took this as a power anthem and alluding to accepting yourself and having a partner who accepts you. The chorus talking about all the things she is, I always took that as yeah I AM all of those things not just some of them just like how I may be nice but I can be mean too. You know, not forcing yourself or others to be one dimension.
I always thought this was about bipolar tendencies... Looking into it now, it was the idea of Shelly Peiken who co-wrote it. She was driving home from a meeting with record executives, feeling rejected and also dealing with PMS, but realized that the man she was headed home to accepted her as she was, despite her extremes. She called Meredith with the basic idea, because she knew she had the right attitude for the song. They didn't think it would even be played, but wrote it quickly, embracing and manifesting the attitude of the song.
The song was written by Merideth and Shelly Peiken. Shelly went to Merideth with some of the lyrics, because she was under a lot of stress. Shelly is a singer/songwriter who hadn't had a hit, and was feeling frustrated, she was also dealing with PMS. She thought about her poor BF at home, who would have to deal with her when she went home, even though she wanted to be a better person to him, she was just struggling.
My interpretation was always like a warning, saying she’s a lot but you gotta love all of her and if you do she’s a goddess on her knees ;) but her personality isn’t just one thing. It’s got to take a “strong” man to deal with her because she’s alot.
I always interpreted it to mean that she knows she's kind of a mess & admits it--but that the other person somehow sees past it all. As if they see something in her that she doesn't see in herself. And while she doesn't understand it (bc of all the reasons she listed), she's grateful for it.
Like others have said before, it's about the fact that, as you said "people are not monoliths." Everyone is their best person at the beginning of a relationship and it's a struggle to try to maintain that. The thing that people just getting into 90's popular music don't understand right away is that songs were written differently. There was a market for music that was personal to the artist and not necessarily relatable to a broad audience. As a person, she knows that he isn't expected to be perfect when facing her imperfections. However, the song isn't about him, these are her feelings. They don't have to be reasonable because feelings rarely are. This doesn't mean her feelings aren't complex. She could very well know that she can't expect him to just always accept it but that isn't the part of the exchange she's trying to convey and it wouldn't provide a very good narrative for the song. It reminds me of "You Oughta Know." Logic dictates that she should just say "f**k him" and move on but feelings aren't logical either and reactions to being hurt by someone can't always be externalized.
I love the line "this may mean you'll have to be a stronger man". I hear her saying that he needs to accept that she is not going to resemble his image of The Perfect Woman, and that he needs to accept her as she is: good, bad, and indifferent. Of course, this works both ways. But it has been my experience that lots of men are dismayed and resentful that women are not the perfect, angelic creatures they dream of. These men are also inclined to act out on the woman in ways intended to bring her into line with his image of The Perfect Woman. Just my interpretation.
this is a bit of a skewed way of thinking since most Women expect the guy to change to conform to their view of the "perfect" guy and get mad when he doesn't then get mad at the guy when he even slightly hints at the same standard being held to her.
Responding to your take: Did she change on him though? Or did he misunderstand her before, by only seeing what he wanted to see? My take: they are in a loving relationship, she's confident he loves her in all her complex humanity, and grateful he's strong enough to accept her. Not a 'You're weak if you can't accept me!', but a 'I am grateful you are emotionally strong enough to be with me.' It's a compliment, not a challenge.
I always loved this song because it made me think of the woman I love/loved. I think it is kind of an honest break down of many women from a woman, and I couldn't help but love it.
It's pretty well known fact women do most of the emotional labor in a relationship. In that light, I interpret 'you may have to be a stronger man' line as meaning, hey I'm not just going to make this easy for you. If you want this relationship, you have to step up to the plate and put the work in too. It's not the lady's role to just please her partner and conform to his ideals and make it easy for him. It also came out during a' girl power' moment. So in that light, it's not trying to guilt anyone. The song is an unapologetic request to be seen in her entirety and not just the facets her lover is comfortable with. I'm so glad I found a guy that accepted each new revelation of my personality without making a big deal about it. 20+ years later, we are still changing and growing together. Reading comments here, it's interesting to see all the ways it can be taken, depending on personal experiences with relationships and when people heard the song.
I’ve always interpreted this as more of a warning. She’s not shaming him so much as she is shaming herself. Being the narcissist she is she can’t help the manipulation. She warns him, she’s saying that she is awful, but also that he likes that about her and if he is “strong enough” he can make it work. I say RUN!!
My interpretation of the song was always about breaking out of the stereotypes that guys tend to put women in (especially in the early 90s when this came out).
I interpret this song differently: She didn't change one time, nor is she pretending to be someone she's not. She is, let's call it for the sake of argument, unstable. But she reckons he cannot understand that fact. He is in denial, choosing to see only the angel in her, an angel she absolutely can be, but it's not all that she is. She's warning him that she's not an angel, not pretending she is. So when she tells him he will have to be a stronger man, she's not calling him weak per se, she's tipping him off that she's not easy to deal with, and if they are to be together, he'll have to understand all that she is, and will need to deal with that. She then tells him that she'll keep changing, as if to tell him if in any given day she's going to an extreme he can't deal with, all will be better the next day, because she'll change again. This sounds to me like a cry for patience, which he will absolutely need with her, if they are to be together. It's her way of acknowledging that her personality can and will drive him crazy and bring them closer to a break up, but that she'd like him to stick around even so... This without actually telling him those words, because one thing she is is too proud to admit it straight faced. To finish, she enters sassy mode, when she tells him he wouldn't want her any other way. This feels more like a lighten up moment in an otherwise tense dialog. That's my take on it, at least... What do you think?
This was my song when I was in high school. It like you can be sweet and chill one day the next day you could be a bitch, takes someone strong to put up with those kind of mood swings. She's telling him I'm all over the place emotionally and that's your heads up, take me as I am or get lost.
Since everyone already covered the more commonly accepted meaning of the song I'll jump straight to my recommendation. You should react to her song What Would Happen.
It's not so much her not being her true self to this man. It's him not accepting or understanding the less than angelic sides of her. She's just telling him to buckle up and get on board for the ride of all her emotions if he really wants to be with her.
Interesting how some people hear this song saying "I have a lot of facets to who I am. I know that can be hard for you to deal with sometimes, but I'm trying to be honest about the changes I feel and the different roles I take in life" and others hear "I'm moody and I do what I like, even if it's contradictory or deceptive. Either deal with it or go away. I won't do any better for you." One song, two very different messages. What do you hear?
I've had a couple of relationships with gals that this relates to. Loved them all. She's saying (IMO) that to fully love her it has to be the whole package. Women are complex, not just one sided. And that her "bad" side can still be a part your attraction to her. Giving somewhat of a cautionary statement saying you'll have to step up and be strong against her to match her strength. BTW: The song has a great beat with a bass line that gets you going.
Todd in the Shadows did a One Hit Wonderland episode about this song that was really interesting. He also had a similar reaction to the "stronger man" line, because he's dealt with toxic people who use "take me as I am" as an excuse not to change. Brooks meant it more as an affectionate thank you to her partner, but the bottom line is she's just not a great songwriter. This song hit the right spot at the right moment, which is the main reason it was a hit, but to this day a lot of people think the song was by Alanis Morrisette, lol.
She's saying we're not all one thing. Somedays we are happy and things are great and other days the world just sucks and your mood matches it. Mothers are a great example of this - my mom is the kindest person in the world, until you mess with her family and then she's 4 foot 10 inches of southern blonde fury.
I'm a bloke I'm a yobbo, and me best mate's name is Robbo Winfield is me cigarrete I dress in flanellette Shearer's singlet that is blue Throw in a few tattoos, You know you wouldn't Want me any other way
I always envision both Frigg and Kali. Women that are very desired because they are not only strong but fierce. This was also a 90s time where girl power was really hitting its stride.
For me the anthem is about taking the rough with the smooth. We aren't monoliths and the notion that she's a "bitch" is self depricating because she wants her partner not to put her on a pedestal... but she's thankful for him.
Okay, it's not that she presented herself as a different person so much as sometimes, and I know this from previous boyfriends, some people get an idea of who they want someone to be, such as a sweet, innocent angel, and they don't want to accept that you can be different from who they think you are, and those (at least in my own experience) tend to be weaker (mentally) people. It takes a stronger person to see the reality of another person. And call me a b*tch, we'll be good, because I know I can be, and I'm very good at it when need be, but call me a female dog and we're gonna have business. There is a difference.
Tori Amos--------Crucify, Precious Things, Winter, Girl, Silent All These Years They might be giants-------BIRDHOUSE IN YOUR SOUL, Don't Let's Start Billy Joel-----Allentown Suzanne Vega--------Luka, Toms Diner remix Crash Test Dummies----------Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm The moody Blues---------Nights in White Satin 311----- - Amber ,All Mixed Up Cage----------Ballad of worms 3rd Bass--------The gas face, Steppin' to the A.M. Ani Difranco--------32 Flavors Sarah McLachlan------- Possession, Fear Deee-Lite------ Groove Is In The Heart Temple Of The Dog--------- Hunger Strike Three Dog Night ------------- Black and White Depeche Mode-----------Enjoy The Silence The Cure-------------Lovesong Portishead - Pedestal The Mighty Mighty Bosstones-------------The Impression That I Get Huey Lewis And The News-------- I Want A New Drug Chumbawamba - Tubthumping
One of the rare times I disagree with one of your assessments It isn't necessarily that she isn't being herself. A lot of dudes just project romantic fantasy despite all hints and direct contradictions from people they are romanticizing
I always thought of this song as having to do with a woman's mood changing due to pms and that she can't help it and says he has to be man enough to accept her as she is.
Irony-generally when you meet someone you tell them who you are and she does and you can’t handle that-oo stay away from her. More irony- she says that’s ok but just don’t try to change her bc she is who she is and she is comfortable in her own skin. She owns her flaws.
This song was the first abrasive pro-feminist song that got popular, its original intent was to take the b-word and flip it around, to make it about empowerment rather than diminishment.
I think all us women are interpreting this differently than you are. This is a song about the complicated contradictory things women happen to be. And the whole you'll have to be a stronger man line isn't a command, it's a warning. If you want an empowered woman you have to put up with the whole woman.
Yeah, no. This is not about her demeaning some guy who she lied to about who she was nor calling him weak. Open up your mind a bit. She's not shading guys, she's explaining to him that there is no single ideal. She is complex - he'll have to be stronger if he's not just going to walk away because she's not some cliché.
I agree the lyrics are the mood, We all have those, I despise the" accept my worst before you see my best " mentality, but it is a fun song to boost the energy on a bleary day. This performance tho🥴
Lloyd, where did you get those glasses? I wear the same style, but no Adidas logo. Thats kinda cool. Just wondering. Oh and fun song too lol. She is the same complex dichotomy as every woman I've ever ' known ' . That way anything we assume is wrong lol
Accepting who she is is great, but relationships take respect on both sides. It is hard to teach your children to respect themselves and each other when you have people telling your daughters it is alright for boys to make them feel less capable and your sons that girls can say and do what they want and they need to take it. Respect for both genders and both our sons, daughters, nephews, nieces, cousins whatever please, if we give it, then just maybe other will as well as they will know they are worth it.
I don't think you have fully grasped the meaning of the song. She is not pretending to be anything else than who she is to him. Women thought history wither its music, literature or media get represented as being one dimensional beings who's purpose is to elevate the male characters story. This songs is literally saying she is many things , she is not just going to be a perfect human being ,the thing society and men expect of women to "smile and shut up" , she will be a "bitch" which is basically a name given to a woman who goes against what men want, she is both a sinner and a saint and it does take a strong man to come to terms with that women are basically human beings aswell. If you listened to the whole album you would recognize her style which is very much encompassed in this song.
i think this song came from a place of women feling they had to be meek and docile6, eat a salid, keep house etc and she is saying she is more then the image seen on first dates
Women are many things. That is the truth. She's telling him up front. She's hiding nothing. He can handle it or he can't. We shouldn't have to hide it or feel ashamed. If he wanted her different he could leave. Your interpretation is very negative. The verses are very empowering to women and you're belittling them. You say she's flipping on him but she's laying it all out. That's the whole point and instead of understanding that you had to place blame and get defensive.
Wow. Who hurt you? Maybe unpack some of that baggage, read these comments from women, and try again. That was an epically bad take. You made a song about female empowerment all about the man. Congratulations! People are complex, and you have to deal with that in a relationship. Y'know, for better or for worse...
Corny ass ready-made girl power anthem, ready to be slotted into the soundtrack of your next awful mainstream film that needs a montage to catalogue the progression of the protagonist on the road to proving that "chicks rock". Brooks also produced a horrible album for Jennifer Love Hewitt. This is what happens when you give a crappy pro songwriter a record contract. You end up with paint by number cheese whiz like this and "Life is a Highway".
Because people have the freedom to make decisions, you can be anything exponentially. You can be a sinner and a saint, as most people do good and bad things in balance. You could do alot of horrible things, but redeem yourself with a counter action, or be 99% good all your life, and still decide to do something despicable later. Our lives consist of millions of small choices
This is song is about accepting who you are, she is basically saying "Look some days I'm not gonna be this perfect person, I'm going to have my bad days and I'm going to have my good days." The lyric about "you might have to be a stronger man" I always interpreted as meaning that the guy needs to accept her for who she is and not try to change her into what he wants her to be. I have also read in an interview that the reason for the title of the song was as a means of taking back the word and use it for empowering oneself instead of using it to degrade a person.
Yep, especially that list bit. Same way I think about Halestorm's "You call me a bitch like it's a bad thing" and In This Moment's "Whore"
Yes, this ties into how a lot of girls hearing "You Ought to Know" by Alanis Morissette for the first time were all 'Wait, what? You're allowed to be mad?' These two songs along with "I'm Just a Girl" by No Doubt were instrumental in deconstructing what I would now describe as toxic femininity. They all challenge the biddable female crap we were being force fed.
This song is just about the complexities of being a woman. To love me is to love all of me.
Or just a human fucking being lol.
It's funny how this song is about empowerment, about being able to say this is who I am no matter what you expected me. Yet the reactor, whom I DO have a lot of respect for. Still places blame on the female for being a whole person. Kind of ironic, no?
I think another aspect that is worth mentioning is the time and atmosphere when this came out. There was a bit of a girl-power movement going on with NoDoubt, SpiceGirls, etc in the mid-to-late 90s, pushing back on the ingrained misogyny of much of the popular music.
I had a roommate that felt this was her anthem-- like a chest thump saying I AM ME, BITE ME IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT! After being forced under the thumbs of her male family members in the years prior, it was very empowering for her. Plus it lends itself very well to being belted out in the car at full-tilt. Lol.
That it does
Love Meredith! It's all about the dichotomies of the human psyche. Everyone is f**Ed up in one way or another. You just need to find someone who's weirdness meshes with yours.
Exactly!
My interpretation of this was always a girl power theme, like the person she's singing to always idealized her, made her out to be perfect, sweet, kind, but she's so much more than that, and if dude wants to stick around, he'd better catch up to her because she refuses to hide her true self.
The "you may have to be a stronger man" in this doesn't strike me as guilting or commanding or anything so much as... iunno, sort of a warning? Like, "Look, I'm a mess, I make mistakes, I have problems I struggle with. If you want me, you're going to need to be able to handle that, or you're going to just be miserable waiting for the version of me you want to come back or trying to 'fix' me."
I want to say that I do appreciate how it seems like you want to keep everyone to the same standards of being decent to each other and letting everyone live their own lives and such. Context can dramatically change what that actually means, though. I can understand how she can seem like she's presenting herself as a toxic, demanding, manipulative person, and honestly things like that still need to be watched for within the sorts of contexts that would make the song seem more reasonable. In this case, this song has generally been taken to be a sort of "I'm sick of trying to conform to your stereotypes of what women are or 'should' be. I'm tired of trying to live up to the expectations placed on me, and of being villainized ('I'm a bitch' 'I'm a sinner' 'I'm your hell' etc) when I don't. I'm just human. Accept that I'm just human, and that I have things I struggle with. I refuse to be shamed for being human."
I love this song, and I always took it as her being very honest and true to who she was… sometimes a hot mess, always a mass of contradictions. Like most of us. And saying, basically, if you’re gonna be with me, I’m a lot. Good and bad. And I think you kinda like that… and I know I do. And I don’t think she flipped/tricked him… but she does think maybe sometimes he thinks the good is the “real her” and she knows it’s all her.
I think you missed the beginning, where she's telling him that HIS perception of HER is askew - and proceeds to explain.
I don’t think she’s saying she depicted herself a certain way, I think she’s saying that this is who she is and he’s chosen to see her another way. And she’s saying I’m not perfect and you need to choose to accept it or not. A lot of people do this in relationships, they meet someone and only see what they want in the person in the beginning, they ignore the warning signs of the stuff that they may not like.
I like this interpretation. There is much truth in what you say regarding people seeing what they want to see.
Exactly. I also think that it’s typical for people, in the beginning of a relationship, to show their sweet and innocent side first but as you get to know the person, you realize they’re more than just that. We all experience sadness, anger, frustration, etc. and by being a ‘stronger man’ is to stand by her side and put up with her emotions just like she would for him
Exactly.
I took this as a power anthem and alluding to accepting yourself and having a partner who accepts you. The chorus talking about all the things she is, I always took that as yeah I AM all of those things not just some of them just like how I may be nice but I can be mean too. You know, not forcing yourself or others to be one dimension.
I always thought this was about bipolar tendencies... Looking into it now, it was the idea of Shelly Peiken who co-wrote it. She was driving home from a meeting with record executives, feeling rejected and also dealing with PMS, but realized that the man she was headed home to accepted her as she was, despite her extremes. She called Meredith with the basic idea, because she knew she had the right attitude for the song. They didn't think it would even be played, but wrote it quickly, embracing and manifesting the attitude of the song.
The song was written by Merideth and Shelly Peiken. Shelly went to Merideth with some of the lyrics, because she was under a lot of stress. Shelly is a singer/songwriter who hadn't had a hit, and was feeling frustrated, she was also dealing with PMS. She thought about her poor BF at home, who would have to deal with her when she went home, even though she wanted to be a better person to him, she was just struggling.
My interpretation was always like a warning, saying she’s a lot but you gotta love all of her and if you do she’s a goddess on her knees ;) but her personality isn’t just one thing. It’s got to take a “strong” man to deal with her because she’s alot.
I always interpreted it to mean that she knows she's kind of a mess & admits it--but that the other person somehow sees past it all. As if they see something in her that she doesn't see in herself. And while she doesn't understand it (bc of all the reasons she listed), she's grateful for it.
Like others have said before, it's about the fact that, as you said "people are not monoliths." Everyone is their best person at the beginning of a relationship and it's a struggle to try to maintain that.
The thing that people just getting into 90's popular music don't understand right away is that songs were written differently. There was a market for music that was personal to the artist and not necessarily relatable to a broad audience. As a person, she knows that he isn't expected to be perfect when facing her imperfections. However, the song isn't about him, these are her feelings. They don't have to be reasonable because feelings rarely are. This doesn't mean her feelings aren't complex. She could very well know that she can't expect him to just always accept it but that isn't the part of the exchange she's trying to convey and it wouldn't provide a very good narrative for the song.
It reminds me of "You Oughta Know." Logic dictates that she should just say "f**k him" and move on but feelings aren't logical either and reactions to being hurt by someone can't always be externalized.
I love the line "this may mean you'll have to be a stronger man". I hear her saying that he needs to accept that she is not going to resemble his image of The Perfect Woman, and that he needs to accept her as she is: good, bad, and indifferent. Of course, this works both ways. But it has been my experience that lots of men are dismayed and resentful that women are not the perfect, angelic creatures they dream of. These men are also inclined to act out on the woman in ways intended to bring her into line with his image of The Perfect Woman.
Just my interpretation.
Yes, this.
this is a bit of a skewed way of thinking since most Women expect the guy to change to conform to their view of the "perfect" guy and get mad when he doesn't then get mad at the guy when he even slightly hints at the same standard being held to her.
@@AndrewJamison79 Thank you for mansplaining what I want from a relationship, darling. At my age, I just never know what I'm doing! /s
@@anniethenonnymouse was not talking about u specificaly I was giving a balance perspective or are u only concerned with one view point
Responding to your take: Did she change on him though? Or did he misunderstand her before, by only seeing what he wanted to see? My take: they are in a loving relationship, she's confident he loves her in all her complex humanity, and grateful he's strong enough to accept her. Not a 'You're weak if you can't accept me!', but a 'I am grateful you are emotionally strong enough to be with me.' It's a compliment, not a challenge.
I always loved this song because it made me think of the woman I love/loved. I think it is kind of an honest break down of many women from a woman, and I couldn't help but love it.
It's pretty well known fact women do most of the emotional labor in a relationship. In that light, I interpret 'you may have to be a stronger man' line as meaning, hey I'm not just going to make this easy for you. If you want this relationship, you have to step up to the plate and put the work in too. It's not the lady's role to just please her partner and conform to his ideals and make it easy for him.
It also came out during a' girl power' moment. So in that light, it's not trying to guilt anyone. The song is an unapologetic request to be seen in her entirety and not just the facets her lover is comfortable with. I'm so glad I found a guy that accepted each new revelation of my personality without making a big deal about it. 20+ years later, we are still changing and growing together.
Reading comments here, it's interesting to see all the ways it can be taken, depending on personal experiences with relationships and when people heard the song.
I’ve always interpreted this as more of a warning. She’s not shaming him so much as she is shaming herself. Being the narcissist she is she can’t help the manipulation. She warns him, she’s saying that she is awful, but also that he likes that about her and if he is “strong enough” he can make it work. I say RUN!!
My interpretation of the song was always about breaking out of the stereotypes that guys tend to put women in (especially in the early 90s when this came out).
I interpret this song differently:
She didn't change one time, nor is she pretending to be someone she's not.
She is, let's call it for the sake of argument, unstable.
But she reckons he cannot understand that fact. He is in denial, choosing to see only the angel in her, an angel she absolutely can be, but it's not all that she is. She's warning him that she's not an angel, not pretending she is.
So when she tells him he will have to be a stronger man, she's not calling him weak per se, she's tipping him off that she's not easy to deal with, and if they are to be together, he'll have to understand all that she is, and will need to deal with that.
She then tells him that she'll keep changing, as if to tell him if in any given day she's going to an extreme he can't deal with, all will be better the next day, because she'll change again. This sounds to me like a cry for patience, which he will absolutely need with her, if they are to be together. It's her way of acknowledging that her personality can and will drive him crazy and bring them closer to a break up, but that she'd like him to stick around even so... This without actually telling him those words, because one thing she is is too proud to admit it straight faced.
To finish, she enters sassy mode, when she tells him he wouldn't want her any other way. This feels more like a lighten up moment in an otherwise tense dialog.
That's my take on it, at least...
What do you think?
This was my song when I was in high school. It like you can be sweet and chill one day the next day you could be a bitch, takes someone strong to put up with those kind of mood swings. She's telling him I'm all over the place emotionally and that's your heads up, take me as I am or get lost.
Since everyone already covered the more commonly accepted meaning of the song I'll jump straight to my recommendation. You should react to her song What Would Happen.
It's not so much her not being her true self to this man. It's him not accepting or understanding the less than angelic sides of her. She's just telling him to buckle up and get on board for the ride of all her emotions if he really wants to be with her.
I always find it interesting how men internalize this song which is an honest expression of the female experience.
Interesting how some people hear this song saying "I have a lot of facets to who I am. I know that can be hard for you to deal with sometimes, but I'm trying to be honest about the changes I feel and the different roles I take in life" and others hear "I'm moody and I do what I like, even if it's contradictory or deceptive. Either deal with it or go away. I won't do any better for you." One song, two very different messages.
What do you hear?
One of my favourite 90’s songs for sure! Great breakdown to the bars! Keep it good work, brother! ❤️
I've had a couple of relationships with gals that this relates to. Loved them all. She's saying (IMO) that to fully love her it has to be the whole package. Women are complex, not just one sided. And that her "bad" side can still be a part your attraction to her. Giving somewhat of a cautionary statement saying you'll have to step up and be strong against her to match her strength. BTW: The song has a great beat with a bass line that gets you going.
"I wouldn't want to be near this person." Yeah well Meredith Brooks is my picture of perfection.
Todd in the Shadows did a One Hit Wonderland episode about this song that was really interesting. He also had a similar reaction to the "stronger man" line, because he's dealt with toxic people who use "take me as I am" as an excuse not to change. Brooks meant it more as an affectionate thank you to her partner, but the bottom line is she's just not a great songwriter. This song hit the right spot at the right moment, which is the main reason it was a hit, but to this day a lot of people think the song was by Alanis Morrisette, lol.
She's saying we're not all one thing. Somedays we are happy and things are great and other days the world just sucks and your mood matches it.
Mothers are a great example of this - my mom is the kindest person in the world, until you mess with her family and then she's 4 foot 10 inches of southern blonde fury.
I'm a bloke
I'm a yobbo,
and me best mate's name is Robbo
Winfield is me cigarrete
I dress in flanellette
Shearer's singlet that is blue
Throw in a few tattoos,
You know you wouldn't
Want me any other way
Alway like hearing your take on a song.
I always envision both Frigg and Kali. Women that are very desired because they are not only strong but fierce. This was also a 90s time where girl power was really hitting its stride.
She’s turning his words back on him. Someone called her all these things so she said “Alright you want it,you can have it “
I always interpreted this as a warning. Look right now you see me as this sweet little angel but in truth I'm everything else as well.
For me the anthem is about taking the rough with the smooth. We aren't monoliths and the notion that she's a "bitch" is self depricating because she wants her partner not to put her on a pedestal... but she's thankful for him.
Okay, it's not that she presented herself as a different person so much as sometimes, and I know this from previous boyfriends, some people get an idea of who they want someone to be, such as a sweet, innocent angel, and they don't want to accept that you can be different from who they think you are, and those (at least in my own experience) tend to be weaker (mentally) people. It takes a stronger person to see the reality of another person. And call me a b*tch, we'll be good, because I know I can be, and I'm very good at it when need be, but call me a female dog and we're gonna have business. There is a difference.
First time I heard this was 7 years old on the school bus going to and from elementary school
Shelley co-wrote the song, Alannis Morisette also made this song a top 10...
It's a catch song
Tori Amos--------Crucify, Precious Things, Winter, Girl, Silent All These Years
They might be giants-------BIRDHOUSE IN YOUR SOUL, Don't Let's Start
Billy Joel-----Allentown
Suzanne Vega--------Luka, Toms Diner remix
Crash Test Dummies----------Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm
The moody Blues---------Nights in White Satin
311----- - Amber ,All Mixed Up
Cage----------Ballad of worms
3rd Bass--------The gas face, Steppin' to the A.M.
Ani Difranco--------32 Flavors
Sarah McLachlan------- Possession, Fear
Deee-Lite------ Groove Is In The Heart
Temple Of The Dog--------- Hunger Strike
Three Dog Night ------------- Black and White
Depeche Mode-----------Enjoy The Silence
The Cure-------------Lovesong
Portishead - Pedestal
The Mighty Mighty Bosstones-------------The Impression That I Get
Huey Lewis And The News-------- I Want A New Drug
Chumbawamba - Tubthumping
Just who you are is exactly what this song says. You wouldn't and I wouldn't want it any other way
Keep doing what you do. I watch your stuff every morning before i go to work. $20.01 to you sir.
I always wondered if her concerts were just this song, and then the band packs up and leaves.
One of the rare times I disagree with one of your assessments
It isn't necessarily that she isn't being herself. A lot of dudes just project romantic fantasy despite all hints and direct contradictions from people they are romanticizing
Okay you are black
You know the 'magic black elder" trope, ala Morgan Freeman as God thing? She is talking bout the gender version of that
Big fan of her music, not a fan of her politics. Peace, love!! Take Care MLB!
You should do a song called Teddy Bear by Red Sovine
I always thought of this song as having to do with a woman's mood changing due to pms and that she can't help it and says he has to be man enough to accept her as she is.
Irony-generally when you meet someone you tell them who you are and she does and you can’t handle that-oo stay away from her. More irony- she says that’s ok but just don’t try to change her bc she is who she is and she is comfortable in her own skin. She owns her flaws.
This song was the first abrasive pro-feminist song that got popular, its original intent was to take the b-word and flip it around, to make it about empowerment rather than diminishment.
I think all us women are interpreting this differently than you are. This is a song about the complicated contradictory things women happen to be. And the whole you'll have to be a stronger man line isn't a command, it's a warning. If you want an empowered woman you have to put up with the whole woman.
Yeah, no. This is not about her demeaning some guy who she lied to about who she was nor calling him weak. Open up your mind a bit. She's not shading guys, she's explaining to him that there is no single ideal. She is complex - he'll have to be stronger if he's not just going to walk away because she's not some cliché.
I agree the lyrics are the mood, We all have those, I despise the" accept my worst before you see my best " mentality, but it is a fun song to boost the energy on a bleary day. This performance tho🥴
Lloyd, where did you get those glasses? I wear the same style, but no Adidas logo. Thats kinda cool. Just wondering. Oh and fun song too lol. She is the same complex dichotomy as every woman I've ever ' known ' . That way anything we assume is wrong lol
The company is called Americas best
@@MrLboydReacts thank you, I'm going to look into them
Look up Meredith Brooks and Blue Man Group "Baba O'Riley"
To me this song is all about mental health, and how someone thinks they might be too much for someone.
This song bothered me even as a kid. You think he isn't strong? He found the strength to leave your ass.
Kills me that you don't listen to the recorded versions first
I think you're missing the point of the song.
I recommend the song "I am, I feel" by "Alisha's Attic" - a powerful feminist anthem in this vein that I think you'd have an interesting take on.
Double standards are a hell of a drug
Happy wife happy life
Will you react to "Why Me Lord" by Elvis.
Accepting who she is is great, but relationships take respect on both sides. It is hard to teach your children to respect themselves and each other when you have people telling your daughters it is alright for boys to make them feel less capable and your sons that girls can say and do what they want and they need to take it. Respect for both genders and both our sons, daughters, nephews, nieces, cousins whatever please, if we give it, then just maybe other will as well as they will know they are worth it.
If you haven’t commented on it yet I think you would like “Women Song” by The Hu and Lizzie Hale frame Hale storm. A look at the power of women
She's probably dealing with his crap and complex personality too. Lol.
react to Styx: Renegade or sail away
I don't think you have fully grasped the meaning of the song. She is not pretending to be anything else than who she is to him. Women thought history wither its music, literature or media get represented as being one dimensional beings who's purpose is to elevate the male characters story. This songs is literally saying she is many things , she is not just going to be a perfect human being ,the thing society and men expect of women to "smile and shut up" , she will be a "bitch" which is basically a name given to a woman who goes against what men want, she is both a sinner and a saint and it does take a strong man to come to terms with that women are basically human beings aswell. If you listened to the whole album you would recognize her style which is very much encompassed in this song.
I'd like to see and hear you react to "abcdefu" by GAYLE. I think you would be shocked but laughing.
i think this song came from a place of women feling they had to be meek and docile6, eat a salid, keep house etc
and she is saying she is more then the image seen on first dates
My favorite part about her is she sings and pretty bad a** on the guitar.
I don't think you have analyze every single word in this song. Totally takes away from your reaction man
Never review live version
It's just a song, slightly overanalyzing this one.
Women are many things. That is the truth. She's telling him up front. She's hiding nothing. He can handle it or he can't. We shouldn't have to hide it or feel ashamed. If he wanted her different he could leave. Your interpretation is very negative. The verses are very empowering to women and you're belittling them. You say she's flipping on him but she's laying it all out. That's the whole point and instead of understanding that you had to place blame and get defensive.
why live ............why
Wow. Who hurt you? Maybe unpack some of that baggage, read these comments from women, and try again.
That was an epically bad take. You made a song about female empowerment all about the man. Congratulations!
People are complex, and you have to deal with that in a relationship. Y'know, for better or for worse...
Omg u shouldn't really review, lol, it's like I'm hearing facts, lol.
Corny ass ready-made girl power anthem, ready to be slotted into the soundtrack of your next awful mainstream film that needs a montage to catalogue the progression of the protagonist on the road to proving that "chicks rock". Brooks also produced a horrible album for Jennifer Love Hewitt. This is what happens when you give a crappy pro songwriter a record contract. You end up with paint by number cheese whiz like this and "Life is a Highway".
Because people have the freedom to make decisions, you can be anything exponentially. You can be a sinner and a saint, as most people do good and bad things in balance. You could do alot of horrible things, but redeem yourself with a counter action, or be 99% good all your life, and still decide to do something despicable later. Our lives consist of millions of small choices