How I Would Survive EVERY HORROR Movie.

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 1 жов 2024
  • OG Vid: • Horror Movies I Could ...
    ☆Socials:
    ➥ Gaming Channel: / @joebartgames
    ➥Twitch: / joe_bartolozzi
    ➥Instagram: www.instagram....
    ➥TikTok:www.tiktok.com...
    ➥Twitter: jo...
    ☆Discord:
    ➥ / discord

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,2 тис.

  • @Cloudybee_100
    @Cloudybee_100 Рік тому +838

    It always enrages me how people in horror movies choose the dumbest- most plainly obvious places to hide.

    • @CaptainBuggyDClown
      @CaptainBuggyDClown Рік тому +31

      It’s against the plot to win too early

    • @carmencaiin
      @carmencaiin Рік тому +18

      i excuse it by saying they’re petrified and traumatized and can’t make rational decisions

    • @chaoticstick09ontwitch
      @chaoticstick09ontwitch Рік тому +7

      fr bro, im going to hide in the shed where there is no exit.

    • @carlinaxxxx4120
      @carlinaxxxx4120 Рік тому +4

      Omg no way a comment that’s actually talking about the video 😮😮

    • @Luke_Rowe
      @Luke_Rowe Рік тому

      Finally @@carlinaxxxx4120

  • @stickbug00
    @stickbug00 Рік тому +2035

    joe never fails to spread my cheeks and fill me up with laughter

  • @Cobqlt
    @Cobqlt Рік тому +331

    Joe never fails to impress me with his survival skills.

  • @YousifJwan
    @YousifJwan Рік тому +132

    Joe never fails to make me stitch my ass checks together

  • @williamhardee8863
    @williamhardee8863 Рік тому +314

    Joe’s clearly never seen a Halloween movie if he thinks Michael won’t catch up to him.

    • @CaptainBuggyDClown
      @CaptainBuggyDClown Рік тому +15

      Fax

    • @dinosuartrains85483
      @dinosuartrains85483 Рік тому +43

      ​@@CaptainBuggyDClown wdym fax you can just drive to a different state a day before halloween and you are good like what

    • @ShaneWalsh0_0
      @ShaneWalsh0_0 Рік тому +14

      Honestly, bro could catch up to Usain Bolt

    • @williamhardee8863
      @williamhardee8863 Рік тому +32

      @@dinosuartrains85483 These are the dumbest answers you can give; if you’re in that movie, you aren’t gonna know anything about the killer. You can’t just leave Ohio before Freddy shows up because you won’t even know he’s a thing until he actually shows up in your dreams.

    • @CaptainBuggyDClown
      @CaptainBuggyDClown Рік тому +9

      @@dinosuartrains85483that takes away the whole point, you could say that about almost every villain

  • @kermitlefrohg3232
    @kermitlefrohg3232 11 місяців тому +59

    The main reason why old slasher/ horror films aren’t scary anymore is because they’re based on gore and suspense to scare
    Modern horror movies are made with existential dread, and a lot more of existential danger involved

    • @freddykrueger4326
      @freddykrueger4326 11 місяців тому

      Why do I find older movies more scary than new ones tho

    • @HarleyKaihau
      @HarleyKaihau 9 місяців тому +3

      ​@freddykrueger4326 the old filming quality makes it seem MORE brutal

    • @freddykrueger4326
      @freddykrueger4326 9 місяців тому

      @@HarleyKaihau I've seen way more brutal stuff than the movies I have as my favorites. Noes doesn't have a big amount of brutality, for example.

    • @Nockgun
      @Nockgun 2 місяці тому

      Make that when you see it, it stands their menacingly. appears everywhere, like a sleep paralysis demon

    • @Cupidsdestiny
      @Cupidsdestiny 10 днів тому

      I think the older movies aren’t based on gore I rarely have seen gore in movies from 1970s-1990s

  • @timesphere5199
    @timesphere5199 Рік тому +31

    Saying "i would just leave before it happens" seems like a cop out. If you say that then you wont survive in the movie

    • @CaptainBuggyDClown
      @CaptainBuggyDClown Рік тому +9

      Fax. That takes away the whole point

    • @KIRB881
      @KIRB881 3 місяці тому +1

      Then leave when he first appears. 😂

    • @RustyPancake53
      @RustyPancake53 3 місяці тому +3

      ​@@KIRB881for like these people are sticking around for WEEKS like bruh day 2 I'm out

  • @beauty1nchaos
    @beauty1nchaos 2 місяці тому +8

    bro i really feel like y’all did not pay attention to these horror movies 😭 because he’s really underestimating these slashers 😭

  • @NevaehCardoza
    @NevaehCardoza Рік тому +30

    Ain’t no way he mentioned the platform, that shit holds some special trauma in my heart bro that shit scary ash

  • @JudahNLiam
    @JudahNLiam Рік тому +236

    Joe never fails to spread me and make me giggle

    • @dimitrilawson1717
      @dimitrilawson1717 Рік тому +2

      uh huh

    • @-Jozef
      @-Jozef Рік тому

      I NEEVER FAIL TO NUT INSIDE YOUR CEREAL

    • @JudahNLiam
      @JudahNLiam Рік тому +2

      @@SonicCollectionsPS2Noisesnah

    • @NotTheDamned
      @NotTheDamned Рік тому +2

      @@SonicCollectionsPS2Noisesmf thought that would work 💀💀🥱🥱🥱

    • @JohnSwaneyes
      @JohnSwaneyes Рік тому

      Is it pink

  • @ShaneWalsh0_0
    @ShaneWalsh0_0 Рік тому +25

    I’m convinced joe hasn’t seen a single Halloween movie

  • @BertDaMonkey
    @BertDaMonkey Рік тому +37

    Saying nightmare on elm street is awful is a major L take

    • @CaptainBuggyDClown
      @CaptainBuggyDClown Рік тому +1

      Fax

    • @Joemama-zp3nm
      @Joemama-zp3nm 4 місяці тому

      Fax

    • @mitttHemAN
      @mitttHemAN 3 місяці тому +1

      no it’s not those movies suck

    • @BertDaMonkey
      @BertDaMonkey 3 місяці тому +1

      @@mitttHemAN I don’t like you

    • @Dakguire
      @Dakguire 3 місяці тому

      @@mitttHemAN there’s only like two out of the nine movies that suck

  • @BertDaMonkey
    @BertDaMonkey Рік тому +14

    9:17 a week ago I saw the exorcist in the theater for the first time that shit had me freaking the fuck out

    • @BertDaMonkey
      @BertDaMonkey Рік тому +4

      And that thing came out in the 70’s

  • @melhus5831
    @melhus5831 6 місяців тому +13

    Platform sounds like a messed up MrBeast video

  • @Travanatoar
    @Travanatoar 7 місяців тому +19

    why is it censored

    • @Tod.Mp4
      @Tod.Mp4 4 місяці тому +3

      because he gets demonetized if he curses within the first couple minutes

  • @carmencaiin
    @carmencaiin Рік тому +43

    joe never fails to succeed in extremely specific situations

  • @Ese_Moreno04
    @Ese_Moreno04 Рік тому +11

    Bro, I saw Platform with my mom way back then, and I was glued to the screen from beginning to end. My family and I all speak Spanish too, so that was a plus. Wasn't one of the things in the movie that you could go into the tower with one single item of your choice?

  • @cclyzxr
    @cclyzxr Рік тому +13

    It enraged me how people in horror movies choose the dumbest- most plainly obvious places to hide.

  • @3_minute_gaming
    @3_minute_gaming 11 місяців тому +13

    8:30 JOE TAKE THAT BACK THE SCREAM FRANCHISE IS GOLD

  • @theredhood028
    @theredhood028 Рік тому +17

    18:22 what a truly inspirational message to sum up the video

  • @SoulSniperEdits
    @SoulSniperEdits Рік тому +37

    Joe never fails to HARDDEN me with happiness 😏😊

  • @goggxd5372
    @goggxd5372 Рік тому +21

    Joe always finds a way to come in me💪🏿💪🏿

  • @longhornfan6914
    @longhornfan6914 Рік тому +22

    Joe is criminally underrating Michael Myers

  • @Teaguywhodrinks
    @Teaguywhodrinks Рік тому +18

    Can we just appreciate the effort joe puts into his videos

  • @Monochrome_I
    @Monochrome_I 11 місяців тому +12

    Joe never fails to spread us open

  • @DanielTransitioned
    @DanielTransitioned 7 місяців тому +5

    MY JAW DROPPED. I FUCKING LOVE NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET THAT SHIT IS AMAZING.

  • @florio8773
    @florio8773 2 місяці тому +4

    Michael Myers’s full sprints off camera so you just gotta speed walk with the camera man

  • @mohd.zuheirbarazi6556
    @mohd.zuheirbarazi6556 Рік тому +10

    joe never fails to make me smile 😇

  • @nessexceptless
    @nessexceptless Місяць тому +3

    You can very easily tell Joe has never seen the good Halloween movies.

  • @HDE517
    @HDE517 4 місяці тому +6

    I watched terrifier like two years ago and I still stand by it being the scariest movie ever

    • @coralz7636
      @coralz7636 Місяць тому

      It's definitely not scary but the guy himself would be pretty scary to go up against

  • @swooshwtf4017
    @swooshwtf4017 Рік тому +2

    why do you bleep out the swear words

  • @Ulyssestheplaya41
    @Ulyssestheplaya41 11 місяців тому +6

    Joe never fails to stick it in me and have me yelling of happiness

  • @yourgodshaggy8151
    @yourgodshaggy8151 Місяць тому +4

    People forget Chucky has the strength and weight of a grown man 💀

  • @ibekevo
    @ibekevo 6 місяців тому +4

    Michael be lowkey teleporting lol.. Man gonna pop up in your backseat & he drives 😂

  • @OPastro13
    @OPastro13 3 години тому

    When ur superpower is common sense 😂😂

  • @jojogodtier
    @jojogodtier Рік тому +24

    Joe never fails to make me fall for him.

  • @theweirdonextdoor7321
    @theweirdonextdoor7321 11 місяців тому +1

    I love your videos but…wow I can’t believe you said elm street 1 and the early screams and the Halloween franchise was bad. I don’t want to be that annoying person but (mild spoilers ahead) in Halloween 1 Michael can drive, he can teleport cause he can’t set off the motion sensor light in H2018 which means he teleports. You also couldn’t be on a roof cause Halloween 4 showed he ain’t scared of falling off, you couldn’t move away cause in H20 Laurie moves to cali but Michael finds her anyway after tracking her down. Chucky would be easier but he has the strength of a man after being in the doll for so long but he is still small like me.

  • @Zelcev
    @Zelcev 5 місяців тому +3

    6:36 he can drive too bruh

  • @XxternalYT
    @XxternalYT 2 місяці тому +2

    FYI Michael Myers teleports 😂 he chases you while walking but if you take your eye off him or if you think you lost him next corner he just peek-a-boos u and stabs you 😂 same with Jason, but Jason you can’t survive 😂 he’s near fucking invincible and immortal and he’s probably around 50x stronger than the strongest man. Not even the whole fucking US military with tanks and shit can stop him

  • @Realistic.Editor
    @Realistic.Editor Рік тому +4

    I know I would get folded by almost every horror character😢

  • @NBA_roses
    @NBA_roses Рік тому +6

    Always a dub when joe uploads 🎉

  • @Aziel-y7h
    @Aziel-y7h Рік тому +12

    Permit me to expound upon the sheer magnificence of this visual masterpiece that unfolds before our discerning eyes. What we are privileged to witness is a cinematic tour de force, a multimedia opus that transcends the boundaries of mere entertainment, and instead, elevates itself to the status of an exquisite and transformative visual odyssey, replete with virtuoso storytelling, impeccable cinematography, and a symphony of emotions that leaves an indelible imprint on the canvas of our sensory perception.

  • @SSG-Westy
    @SSG-Westy 3 місяці тому +2

    The ring just don’t watch the movie 😐

  • @yourdeadgirlfriend5710
    @yourdeadgirlfriend5710 Рік тому +33

    Fun Fact when one of the Friday the 13th was filmed in Blairstown, NJ my grandma's house can be seen in the background

  • @EMa-u8d4l
    @EMa-u8d4l 6 місяців тому +3

    people have simulated fnaf and the people in it are completely utterly terrified

  • @Canoopy
    @Canoopy 11 місяців тому +2

    Watching this on the 🚽

  • @Bruh19317
    @Bruh19317 6 місяців тому +5

    You think you’re surviving brightburn???

    • @SigmaEagle11
      @SigmaEagle11 5 місяців тому +1

      Hell No!

    • @shaiazencot
      @shaiazencot 4 місяці тому

      Wus dat

    • @Thefishboy405
      @Thefishboy405 2 місяці тому

      @@shaiazencot The antagonist of the movie is superman but if he was an evil Demon child

    • @shaiazencot
      @shaiazencot 2 місяці тому

      @@Thefishboy405 oh

  • @CrypticOfficialYT
    @CrypticOfficialYT 5 місяців тому +3

    13:04 what if you just stay on the floor where the food is and you just go down with it?😂

  • @HenryBroughton-y1d
    @HenryBroughton-y1d Рік тому +5

    I liked my comment 😮

  • @Shrin33
    @Shrin33 16 днів тому +2

    Slashers are easy. Get a gun. As long as the slasher doesnt have really overpowered powers gun wins. Gun > Knife

  • @ErosMoreira1
    @ErosMoreira1 Рік тому +4

    Joe never fails to make me poop popcorn kernels while shoving fries up my nose

  • @KIRB881
    @KIRB881 5 місяців тому +2

    There should be a movie which there is no boring story and just every scene having something scary

  • @BiggieCheeseCoD
    @BiggieCheeseCoD Рік тому +3

    W joe for posting and making me laugh always (not a bot)

  • @ChynaSummers
    @ChynaSummers Рік тому +1

    Tbh I just watch the platform as soon as you said somethin about it
    ⚠️⚠️⚠️(SPOILER)⚠️⚠️⚠️
    the girl is the messager not the weird lookin food.

  • @Nah_nah1
    @Nah_nah1 Рік тому +3

    I knew he was gonna post about this the funny thing is I watched this two hours ago keep up the good work Joe ur very underrated

  • @Zackattack151
    @Zackattack151 4 місяці тому +1

    Sorry, but I’ve played enough among us to survive the thing, thank you very much

  • @404JekerskyNotFound
    @404JekerskyNotFound Рік тому +3

    Joe never fails to commit Simpsons Mattress

  • @IMambyI
    @IMambyI Рік тому +2

    Bro had to talk about the Friday the 13th game bc he knows damn well he ain’t surviving movie Jason, especially Zombie Jason😂

  • @Sincerelyneedit
    @Sincerelyneedit Рік тому +6

    Joe never fails to fill me up whit satisfaction

    • @avp_youtube
      @avp_youtube Рік тому

      🤖🤖🤖🤖

    • @Sincerelyneedit
      @Sincerelyneedit 11 місяців тому

      @@avp_youtube I will fill you up whit satisfaction too

  • @rydcr
    @rydcr Рік тому +2

    bro thinks he surviving michael myers

  • @Germanfemboy
    @Germanfemboy 11 місяців тому +3

    Joe never fails to smack my bootycheeks so hard I laugh

    • @Hebs368
      @Hebs368 11 місяців тому

      Bro what💀

  • @AJfittsvr
    @AJfittsvr Рік тому +6

    Joe never fails to make me shit and giggle

    • @ToucanDoThatVR
      @ToucanDoThatVR 3 місяці тому +1

      You know what they say, it’s all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.

    • @AJfittsvr
      @AJfittsvr 3 місяці тому

      @@ToucanDoThatVR lmao

  • @glacierrs
    @glacierrs Рік тому +10

    Joe never fails to make me play with myself

  • @daquanafk2049
    @daquanafk2049 Рік тому +1

    In the duplicate one i would rob someone with a supra and drift inti those damn clone ahh things

  • @hadley2279
    @hadley2279 Рік тому +4

    Me trying to find a comment that doesn’t start with “Joe never fails too…” 😂

    • @CaptainBuggyDClown
      @CaptainBuggyDClown Рік тому

      There’s like 10 only. It’s so bad

    • @avp_youtube
      @avp_youtube Рік тому +1

      ong, ima start to say "🤖🤖🤖🤖" to those comments

    • @hadley2279
      @hadley2279 Рік тому

      @@CaptainBuggyDClown look in the comments

    • @CaptainBuggyDClown
      @CaptainBuggyDClown Рік тому

      @@hadley2279 nah I’m talking about the real comments. There’s basically none

    • @hadley2279
      @hadley2279 Рік тому

      @@CaptainBuggyDClown oh sorry I misunderstood

  • @windhits4800
    @windhits4800 11 місяців тому +1

    joe has the biggest ego ever lol. if any of the top horror movie killers like jason, freddy and even chucky would hunt him down he´d be dead in like two days

  • @pixscgt1070
    @pixscgt1070 Рік тому +17

    I appreciate you joe, actually. You are getting me thru the hardest time of my life and i appreciate you for it. All you need to keep doing is you

  • @landonwhitehead2404
    @landonwhitehead2404 10 місяців тому +1

    Bruh the one movie that would be terrifying to be in it would be nun 2 did any body see the goat I’m moving right away after I see that

  • @LiminalityX
    @LiminalityX Рік тому +3

    Joe never fails to tickle my pickle

  • @Raef_Krieg
    @Raef_Krieg 6 місяців тому +1

    Joe I ain’t speed walking Michael Myers’s I’m getting an RPG. I might get injured but I’ll say it’s worth it

  • @Ileftmyson
    @Ileftmyson Рік тому +15

    Yeah I liked my own comment…….. so what.

  • @DanielKariuki-er5gi
    @DanielKariuki-er5gi 11 місяців тому +2

    1:01 That's actually true in slasher films the villains are just random people with either guns or knives I think you can survive somebody with guns or knives.

    • @Seek486
      @Seek486 2 місяці тому

      Jason micheal myers yeah no there like invincible

  • @Astro.aepontt
    @Astro.aepontt Рік тому +5

    Claim your one hour ticket 👇

  • @NYC-34
    @NYC-34 3 місяці тому +2

    Anyone watching in 2024?

  • @LuminousStar.
    @LuminousStar. Рік тому +6

    Joe never fails to survive every horror movie

  • @faceless6146
    @faceless6146 11 місяців тому +1

    Joe you’re losing me as a subscriber if you don’t stop using that face for your thumbnails

  • @sirmonkethe28th42
    @sirmonkethe28th42 Рік тому +4

    joe never fails to make me put mayo on my feet and lick it off while watching his videos (he is my king )

  • @samsoncooper1544
    @samsoncooper1544 Рік тому +2

    Watching joe bart high is the most funny shit ever.

  • @robbyTHEgamer
    @robbyTHEgamer Рік тому +8

    LOL 😂 bro said he would destroy chucky

    • @keceti9606
      @keceti9606 Рік тому +1

      bro its a doll

    • @Dakguire
      @Dakguire 3 місяці тому

      @@keceti9606a doll that can survive being shot in the head and burnt alive. If anything his size is an advantage cause he has the strength and speed of a regular grown man

  • @Mf_Anisins
    @Mf_Anisins 11 місяців тому +1

    the dissing on Halloween is crazy joe. U gotta pay attention to understand it without it seeming like a high budget poorly written movie. Michael Myers gains power by killing, and as long as he keeps killing, he's basically immortal. I think it was something to do with the mask but ion remember. But that's why when the wannabe Michael started killing, he started getting stronger and stronger to the point he thought he would be able to kill Michael since he wasn't able to kill atm so he was weaker.
    I get why it seems like how u described it tho bc they never rly explain directly how hes superhuman in the movie, he just kinda is 💀

    • @Mf_Anisins
      @Mf_Anisins 11 місяців тому

      (also spoiler, but Michael isn't dead lol. Theres gonna be another movie. Thats why I said the kid failed to kill him)

  • @benis-oe4pj
    @benis-oe4pj Рік тому +6

    Joe never fails to make me kick my feet in the air 😋😋

  • @insanemariobros9038
    @insanemariobros9038 11 місяців тому +2

    9:00 is my mom with jaws

  • @AdrianaOfUndecided
    @AdrianaOfUndecided Рік тому +4

    Joe never fails to make me instantly click play and leave a comment before even watching the video

  • @JacionBryant
    @JacionBryant 4 місяці тому +1

    Saw is impossible same with hell raiser

  • @DaqaviousYT
    @DaqaviousYT Рік тому +4

    Joe never fails to spread my cheeks , make me giggle then bust

  • @soap_dagod
    @soap_dagod 4 місяці тому +1

    Jaws is the easiest. Just don't go into the ocean.

  • @kwalk475
    @kwalk475 Рік тому +3

    Joe never fails to give me specific instructions on how to kill and cannibalize my cellmate. 😊

  • @JacionBryant
    @JacionBryant 4 місяці тому +1

    Any ghost movie your dead any movie with a serial killer you could survive

  • @lucysam83
    @lucysam83 Рік тому +3

    you know its a good day when Joe posts.

  • @BombsOfArt
    @BombsOfArt 29 днів тому +1

    I could survive Terminator, Chucky, and Freddy Krueger

  • @themythicalgamer8954
    @themythicalgamer8954 Рік тому +4

    joe never fails

  • @wikitan
    @wikitan Рік тому +3

    let’s appreciate how joe always makes our tails wiggle and wag in joy when he posts

  • @brokebandit7015
    @brokebandit7015 11 місяців тому +1

    Wait but then if people start dying on the platform won’t there be more food

  • @thewalrus8396
    @thewalrus8396 Рік тому +1

    Bro are any of the people in these comments real? Y’all acting like bots

  • @mrbluebelltrain55
    @mrbluebelltrain55 10 місяців тому +1

    Horror movie villains I could beat the shit out of:
    1. Chucky from child’s play I would punch him until his face caved in and then through him off the local harbour bridge.
    2. Freddy Fazzbear, Bonnie and chica from the FNAF movie, all I would have to do is use a taser and a bucket of water.
    3. William Afton also from the FNAF movie, if he’s in his spring lock suit, I only need to set of the springs and off he goes.
    4. Penniwise from IT, all that needs to be done is just not be scared since he depends on fear to live, he’ll just die like in the end of the IT movie.

  • @Kingfailure
    @Kingfailure 11 місяців тому +1

    The beginning scene to Halloween ends is hilarious, with the kid falling❤

  • @NevaehCardoza
    @NevaehCardoza Рік тому +1

    Dude, joe, your an Internet personality, ain’t no fucking way you’re surviving the purge.

    • @NevaehCardoza
      @NevaehCardoza Рік тому

      Autocorrect ain’t capitalize joe but it capitalizes internet 🤦‍♀️

  • @brodeywatson9017
    @brodeywatson9017 11 місяців тому +2

    great content keep up the good work

  • @blank4430
    @blank4430 Рік тому +2

    Joe scares me straight silly

  • @ro356f
    @ro356f 6 місяців тому +2

    10:17 is crazy... It's great