Currently going through this with my old therapist. We both are having a strong attraction. We discussed boundaries and everything but i still have sex with my husband with my therapist in mind. Im very proactive studying on my own but i feel my therapist has projected his attraction onto me and I being very vulnerable and sensitive i took it on and ran with it. Its a very painful process. We are very open with each other and that doesn’t help because it just makes me like him even more as my parents were emotionally absent. Ugh! This is so hard…sometimes i wish i hadn’t gone to therapy
My wife did this with her boss (not long after starting her job there, there were about 3 occasions where she was almost ravenously having sex with me....unlike any other time in our 20+ years together. I finally asked her about it, and though she didn't agree that she was lusting after someone else, she didn't deny it. She just said it was embarassing that I brought it up. It's opened up our ability to communicate much deeper. Her boss was just someone who "saw" her, someone who appreciated stuff I'd become numb to. She admitted that at one point in their emotional affair, she knew she should have seen a therapist instead of the first person to show interest in her. (I'm working on my own stuff as well now, of course)
gosh ..why to invite a person who has no experience with this? and obviously feels not comfortable speaking about it in therapy ( you can see judgement in her talking about her client talking about "sexual stuff")
I need help with this - I am attracted to my therapist and I keep having intimate dreams about her. I don't know how to approach it. I'm afraid I'll end up falling in love with her and wanting more and I feel really embarrassed and ashamed. Do I speak to her about it? I also know if I were to meet her as a not as a therapist I would be interested in getting to know her more and still find her physically attractive. So I know there is a genuine adult attraction there. And sometimes I get a feeling that there is a sexual chemistry in the room between us both.
Being attracted is not a problem. Even the intimate dreams are not a problem. What about the approach: "What happens is good and it serves my therapeutic process"? Also: Why feel embarrassed and ashamed? Is this emotional reaction really resulting from the situation or is it past patterns that are active here? So, if you would experience this here and now for the first time ever - first time you see the world - is there any reason to feel ashamed or embarrassed by feeling certain feelings? There are no "good" or "bad" feelings. And yes, speaking to her about it would be a good idea. And that you find her attractive - so what? You agreed upon working together in that context. She will probably keep doing that. And this is most likely the best for everyone. Yes, there might be what you call "a genuine adult attraction" but she is your therapist and has probably no interest in changing that role to something else and this is not bad but actually a good thing. Do you want to progress in therapy? And yes, there might be a sexual chemistry but still she is your therapist. Sexual sensations are normal and a part of human experience. Acting upon it would be detrimental to both of you I guess. I would suggest you educate yourself about so called "erotic transference" and its origins, its infantile connotations. Generally I think there is no problem if two adults decide to be intimate with each other. This is just their business. But chances are that parts of your personality are not adult but in earlier developmental stages.
Currently going through this with my old therapist. We both are having a strong attraction. We discussed boundaries and everything but i still have sex with my husband with my therapist in mind. Im very proactive studying on my own but i feel my therapist has projected his attraction onto me and I being very vulnerable and sensitive i took it on and ran with it. Its a very painful process. We are very open with each other and that doesn’t help because it just makes me like him even more as my parents were emotionally absent. Ugh! This is so hard…sometimes i wish i hadn’t gone to therapy
My wife did this with her boss (not long after starting her job there, there were about 3 occasions where she was almost ravenously having sex with me....unlike any other time in our 20+ years together. I finally asked her about it, and though she didn't agree that she was lusting after someone else, she didn't deny it. She just said it was embarassing that I brought it up. It's opened up our ability to communicate much deeper. Her boss was just someone who "saw" her, someone who appreciated stuff I'd become numb to. She admitted that at one point in their emotional affair, she knew she should have seen a therapist instead of the first person to show interest in her. (I'm working on my own stuff as well now, of course)
Very interesting! So much came up for me and I felt I learnt a lot. Thank you 🙏
Thank you for the nice comment Sam 🙂, do let us know if you have any questions or topics you would like us to cover.
gosh ..why to invite a person who has no experience with this? and obviously feels not comfortable speaking about it in therapy ( you can see judgement in her talking about her client talking about "sexual stuff")
I need help with this - I am attracted to my therapist and I keep having intimate dreams about her. I don't know how to approach it. I'm afraid I'll end up falling in love with her and wanting more and I feel really embarrassed and ashamed. Do I speak to her about it? I also know if I were to meet her as a not as a therapist I would be interested in getting to know her more and still find her physically attractive. So I know there is a genuine adult attraction there. And sometimes I get a feeling that there is a sexual chemistry in the room between us both.
Being attracted is not a problem. Even the intimate dreams are not a problem. What about the approach: "What happens is good and it serves my therapeutic process"? Also: Why feel embarrassed and ashamed? Is this emotional reaction really resulting from the situation or is it past patterns that are active here? So, if you would experience this here and now for the first time ever - first time you see the world - is there any reason to feel ashamed or embarrassed by feeling certain feelings? There are no "good" or "bad" feelings. And yes, speaking to her about it would be a good idea. And that you find her attractive - so what? You agreed upon working together in that context. She will probably keep doing that. And this is most likely the best for everyone. Yes, there might be what you call "a genuine adult attraction" but she is your therapist and has probably no interest in changing that role to something else and this is not bad but actually a good thing. Do you want to progress in therapy? And yes, there might be a sexual chemistry but still she is your therapist. Sexual sensations are normal and a part of human experience. Acting upon it would be detrimental to both of you I guess. I would suggest you educate yourself about so called "erotic transference" and its origins, its infantile connotations. Generally I think there is no problem if two adults decide to be intimate with each other. This is just their business. But chances are that parts of your personality are not adult but in earlier developmental stages.
...repression is an unconscious defence...you are not conscious about the feeling...you mean suppression...and then yes your metaphor is ok....