As an identical twin, can confirm that my husband has no attraction whatsoever-so-ever for my sister. My husband also looks strikingly like his dad…no attraction there either. Love is more than looks.
long term yes but short term that doesn't make sense. if there's a person you find sexually attractive, initially you'll also find a person that is an identical twin or looks just like them also sexually attractive. a lot of people have a type and that's just the way it is. the only way it would end immediately is if that person wasn't attracted to you too and they made it clear by rejecting you. the type of attraction, i believe you really mean, takes lots of time to develop. so yes, once a person gets to know both identical twins/look alike they may even be repulsed by their different personality/character
My father was a rocket scientist. Literally. And I never heard him put down my mother. He believed he married up, and he strived to show throughout their marriage that he had married up. Sure, they had disagreements, but he never belittled her.
Jelly jar story reminds me of the woman whose boyfriend threw water on her and then turned around playing the victim, gaslighting her and claiming she was the one who did it when she started recording on her phone. "You always do this. You threw the water. You always do stuff like this and then blame me on camera." She knew his stick and had been smart enough to have another camera set up and recording from before he entered the kitchen so she could finally prove to everyone how he was acting.
I remember that one!! He was so convincing too!! Then you see the FULL video and there HE is throwing water on her friggin laptop while laughing and when she gets upset and asked "why'd you do that?" he switched up "what are you talking about? You ALWAYS do this! YOU do something and blame me while recording! You're sick! You need help!“ 😮😮😮 Good thing she set up the second camera! And caught him red handed! And had the proof!
As a parent, you always support the other parent in front of the children, even if you don't agree with them. You then discuss it privately with each other later.
Especially younger children. I can see letting that slide with some older children but only if it’s done as a way for all perspectives to be explored and explained. Eg, their 15 years old daughter wants to have their friend with a new driver’s license be their ride to school. Mom thinks it would be great because the kid always misses the bus and now she can stop being late because her friend would be pushier. Dad is worried about safety of a new driver driving with friends. Daughter explains that she is getting bullied on the bus by someone and has purposely been missing it. All 3 have valid points that may not come out if not all discussed together. It should never be one parent laying down the law and then the other parent laying down a different law. I will say I took full advantage of that as a kid with divorced parents, although there was no shared custody so mostly I just used it to get spoiled by having my dad buy me extra sweets and books because mom couldn’t/wouldn’t get them for me (and I used to wonder why I always got sick at my dads…)
Thank you! I was looking for someone noticing this! Is very telling that he is not respecting her boundaries even after being told of by her and his family
6:14 unless that breakfast came with an apology AND a booking confirmation for HIM to go to therapy, I’d never even consider looking this man in the eyes again.
I needed this today. The first story is like my husband constantly “making jokes” that aren’t funny. I’m so done with these. He doesn’t understand how disrespectful these comments are
I saw a story like this… go n a dating app, and show him how many matches you’d get if you were single 😂 You could also make one for him, and show him how few he’ll get.
Let me just say that I LOOOOVE the mil and fil in the first story. I absolutely love how they protected the daughter in law. They are the jems in the story
Agree so much! Also love the twin BIL, even if what he did would have been inappropriate in other circumstances. In this case, he gave the “I was only joking” BS right back at his bro. I hope the husband really comes around and he and OP can heal from this.
As a male, if he was dumb enough to tell his wife that he would leave her for another woman………Then he opens himself for retaliation. Kidding or not, jokes aside, if you can’t take it, don’t dish it out.❤️✌️
Absolutly, you can't claim its all just a joke, when no one laughts or when you can't see tge hunor, when it is turned on you!!! Thats not joking but kicking down
20:31 I have some words of wisdom for ANYONE who is trying to raise children with someone who does this to you. 21 years!! For 21 years I stayed. I was mentally trapped. At most times I thought it was what was best for my children but he constantly did things like this. My eldest two children are 17 & 19 and the eldest still battles with her issues. She hates me right now although I’m the only parent she can lean on. Hates me bc her father did things just like this from such an early age. She’s torn bc she feels stuck between her momma who’s always been there and supports her every move, and the father she aims so desperately to please, who I left 4 years ago. Her younger sister was a mommas girl so ofc he would always take issue with her. She now has almost no relationship with their father. And my son is now 7 and he was only 3 when we left so he’s thriving and doing well and is primarily raised by me alone. Leave when they’re young. It doesn’t get easier and he or she will never change or see the light. It’s not possible just get that idea out of your head. See them for who they tell you and show you that they are. Myself and my two younger kids are all in therapy now. My eldest will get there if it’s the last thing I do. ❤❤❤
Thank you for sharing your story. You have been really brave and I’m glad you were able to get your family out! Stay safe and I hope the best things can reach you
my heart goes out to you. My mom and I have friends who went through similar as you, If you try counceling and it doesn't work, then absolutely end it. If it's too far gone and too much hurt that can't be repaired, then absolutely end it. ANd sooner than later as the kids are young enough to learn better behavior.
I am sorry about your daughter ❤ I have a gaslighting fuck off dad myself and my mum actually still lives with him. In the first years after I moved out I was so angry at my mum for staying and letting that happen because now I am 25 and still battling the problems I got from this nightmare. But I realised my mum is just human too and wanted for me to have a dad bc my (half-) brother never had one. This realisation needed some time and a big talk with just the two of us but now I have atleast one parent. What I am trying to say: she will come back and I can only imagine how hard this is for you ❤❤❤❤
9:20 I am able to be in my feminine today and sit and watch Charlotte Dobre while I paint my nails, because my sweet husband is vacuuming the house and cooking dinner today. It's all about balance 💅
😂😂Huh? Pretell, how do know he's a narcassist? Do you know him, or are you psychic? Dang, you're gifted. I've noticed some questionable behaviors in you, and I think you may be projecting. That's how insane you sound. He's human. He messed up, and needs to overcome his insecurities. Edit; I'm the idiot. I guess I can see why you thought what you did. I THOUGHT IT WAS THE FIRST STORY. Still, forgive me. I GET upset when people use that term flippantly, because I've experienced it. However, traits and weakness doesn't necessarily mean narcassistic. I'm the fool. I should've read your comment with comprehension. I will say however we should allow people to be flawed. Sometimes, we are the villans. Life is hard ya know.
My friend’s ex-husband did this kind of stuff with their kids, showing them how to mock and disrespect her. Now, years after their divorce, he is still turning their kids against her and also continuously attempting to destroy her financially through the courts.
@@janetc6079My thoughts are with your friend and her kids. People that do that are lower than scum. I truly hope those kids see their dad for what he really is. Karma is real and what he's doing possibly will come back on him. That's truly so disgusting what he's doing!
@@janetc6079my ex systematically broke me and destroyed my relationship with my kids. 😢 I sought help from everyone and everywhere..he just had to say I was being "insert my name" and now I type this alone while my 26 and 31 year olds still live with him. I didn't even get a you too from my Xmas text to my son...😢
My mom is wholeheartedly the enforcer in my house growing up and my dad was the nuturer. My mom made the appts, my dad just did the food shopping and cooking. They both worked as teachers. A maid cleaned our house once a week. Other than that. My mom did our laundry until we learned to do it ourselves. My dad was the one who planned vacations and dealt with the finances. Like other than my mom being the one to uphold household rules for us kids and my dad being the compassionate one and listened to our problems, their roles within the house were always just who was best with what.
I can relate to that, however thought with that being said my mom was some times a bit bat crazy at times but in a way I am what is coined: my mother's son 2:32
Exactly! You are the man or woman in your relationship based on your sex/gender, not what role you play. I am a stay at home dad. I am the man in my relationship because I am A man. The idea that you're only a man or woman based on what you do or don't do at home is an idea that needs to die in a fire. I agree: do what's best for your family, no matter the role you take.
My mom … can’t really cook. She did for a time as a single parent and hated every moment. My stepdad is a great cook so he cooked the majority of the time. It’s not that deep. As long as both partners feel equal in a relationship because they contribute, performative (and antiquated) gender roles don’t matter. In fact a lot of traditional gender roles were created and enforced by marketing and consumerism, not by “if it’s not broke don’t fix it” like so many people seem to think.
When I’m at work or doing stuff I’m in my masculine energy but my bf knows hows to bring me back to my feminine. After long day he has my switch, heated blanket, a snack, drink, and massage waiting for me! He is the most masculine and compassionate man I’ve ever met. He lets me be a boss and be soft 🥰
Um... the jelly jar story?? The wife needs to RUN. This husband in this instance is at the very least displaying narcissistic behavior if he is not a full blown narcissist. The gas lighting, counterparenting the passive aggressive apology are HUGE red flags.
Well, he says he saw with his eyes her knock it over and then blame her son. That would upset me as well. She's implying he should not trust his own eyes because she could see what happened while also looking at her phone. I understand why she would not trust his eyes better than her own. But also why he would not trust hers better than his. I don't see a reason to believe that this is gaslighting to me. We don't know which one actually happened, but somebody is mistaken. And they clearly both don't have great communication and trust in one another for just to turn into a fight like it did. He was absolutely wrong though in giving the child a snack when the mother already said no. He should not contradict his wife in that way to their child. I understand being upset but that's a major parenting red flag
agree .............. but the "counterparenting" will be the worst red flag. when her children get older they will make her life a living he ll whether she divorces her husband or not.
My ex husband was exactly the type of guy in the second story. At times he would get physically abusive but a lot of his abuse was emotional. It took me a little while to leave hoping he would change but they never do. He constantly blamed ME for everything that went wrong in our marriage and even to this day it’s STILL my fault while he’s trying to get back together with me. Trying to be with someone like him a third time would lead to too much stress and unhappiness. The only good thing that I can say is that even tho he was a terrible husband he’s a great father to our son and his daughter and quite frankly he doesn’t need anymore relationships.
Mr. Red Pill from the first story needs to take several seats. I don’t even need to hear the rest of the story to say OP isn’t the ahole. Plenty of couples have a dynamic where they can joke with each other about certain things, but it is MUTUAL. If they tell the other person to stop, they stop and take that joke out of the roster. These “serve me wench” comments with a chaser of gaslighting is a surefire road to divorceville.
As someone who is celebrating 30 years of marriage next year….each marriage is a separate negotiation between the two people only. Who does what is no one else’s business, and the negotiating continues in the marriage as people’s interests and abilities change. Charlotte is right that you need to be nice to your partner, and not tear them down. Help to smooth the rough edges, but don’t be a sledgehammer. Here’s to many happy years for Charlotte and her handsome man!
20:22 my uncle did this to my cousin. I had to grow up with a male cousin who was physically, mentally, emotionally, and seggsually ab*sive. That cousin is raising his son to be the same way… especially when his baby mama left him for another guy. LEAVE!!! DONT TOLERATE IT!!!
1:20 keep your work, keep your independence leverage, if he's not making you happy then reevaluate things, he's trying to put in jabs to devalue you ma'am.
With the jelly jar wife...I get it. He's gonna be soooo apologetic after she gets back from visiting her mom if he has to take care of the kids in her absence, but she shouldn't fall for it. Divorce-worthy. One broken jelly jar doesn't break a marriage or a woman's spirit like that. She would have already broken over something her first kid did years ago if she were that weak.
I audio recorded one of my husband's abusive rants which he claimed he never did. When I played it back he was indignant that I recorded him. He should have been apologizing for it...nope. If you had the video, it wouldn't matter. You need to get out. He's awful.
My dad is like this. It never matters. You will never get an apology. You will only be belittled and demeaned. There is no winning besides leaving. @demondogmom7221
Yep. He'll go back to the love bombing phase, but it won't last. He'll need to punish her for leaving and quickly revert to the devaluation stage again.
I'm sorry but there's no way in hell I'd leave small kids to this man. He needs to be told to go sleep on a friends couch and she call her (and maybe his if she's a good MiL) mom to come help, start child therapy while mom is visiting and tell hubby he's not allowed back into the house until he agrees to start therapy too or this will continue. If he breaks a single boundary once they are set, then file the divorce papers, but also legally separate to make sure he gets the heck out. This is the only way to not only teach the son that actions have consequences but to see if the relationship is salvagable and is he willing to change to save the marriage... usually not, though, as someone as far gone as he is tends to think he'll groom him a nice young one to replace her. Also, for her own sake, she should start counceling as well to deal with the trauma and to help reinforce what healthy is. It's one of the only things that saved me.
With Jelly Jar Jane, if this was a pattern, I would have walked out of the store, gone to the airport and gone to my parents' right then. No explanation; no heads-up to the husband. He is 100% the AH, and nobody deserves to be treated like that by husband OR child.
Holy Moly I'm glad I'm not married. 2 minutes into the first story and all I'm thinking is, if that was me I'd be calling a divorce attorney the moment those words came out of his mouth. Boy bye. I don't have time for that.
I would call one too if my husband pulled that! My husband is super sweet. I was really careful and had my bullshit radar on full blast when we were dating lol.
Not for the first story, that guy just listened to the wrong friend and pod casts, he is salvageable. But the second? RUN. Get the kids away from toxic evil influence dad and with a good counselor.
When you're with the right person these sort of situations don't happen. You have issues but not breaking your relationship issues. The right person, things feel easy, even the arguments. The husband is not ok and needs to get off social media.
You will be surprised how hard it is to maintain relationship for years, it's work , every single day. Each and every person has loony side, the major problem is that people pretend to be their best before wedding, and later open up. Plus don't forget life itself that changes and change us. To keep it running , couple should talk with each other and compromise.
In my marriage I do most everything while also teaching my husband how to do handyman type things around the house. But growing up his dad was very hands off and hired someone to fix things whereas my dad taught me how to fix things around the house. I am a proud captain of my shipwreck because nobody is perfect 💪🏼
8:21 totally not me typing out "the man may be the head, but the woman is the neck" and not being fast enough type it before she actually said it XD That line has ALWAYS stuck with me
As soon as she started saying the scentense I was just like YAS Queen!💅 That movie has so many awsome scenes and qoutes - I love it. She also pointed out another thing that also is in the movie (dont know if she realised it herself or not), when they need to convince Gus to let Tuula work as a travel agent. And they need to make it sound like it's his idea 😁
21:20 based on Charlotte’s examples of men’s/women’s basic ‘to dos’ (mowing lawn/making appts) that just happen that way, I have concluded that I’m in a relationship with myself, and my boyfriend is kinda like an adult child that never left home 🤨 Anyway, OP should probably rethink the marriage if he’s that swayable by idiots/idiots on line NTA. Side note, love how his family came to your defence
These stories make me thankful to be single and child free😂 no mess, no drama. Not that I'm not against relationships, I'm just not willing to put up with bad ones. I'd rather stay single than put up with that 💩
My hubby and I have been together for 11 years. Not one day had gone by that he hasn't reminded/showed/told me how attracted to me he is and how much he loves me. I am so lucky to have him. 12 years this October ❤
Also, she isn’t talking about divorce over a jelly jar. She’s upset over her husband’s behaviour/reaction to their son blaming her and both of them gaslighting her.
So just so we are ALL clear - men are not allowed to have personal crises and should be divorced the minute they show one. Shame on every women here saying RUN, DIVORCE - everyone of you would throw out your TikTok psychology hot words. If these insecurities were triggered by the opinions in a conversation between men, don’t you think counseling would help him and them in the long run? Women can apparently be “fixed” or helped with counseling? How are you not affording the same respect to men?
@@katinacormier7628- It only works if THEY ARE WILLING TO CHANGE. Not all men are! My dad is abusive and has been in therapy multiple times. Hardly much has changed. You know the most profound effect that had on him? Me finally snapping and tearing into him about how much I hated him and how he treated us like shit. I had enough and left that very night. I was 19. THAT did more for him than therapy ever did. But guess what? Years later, he just became more emotionally and mentally abusive. Shit don’t always work. Get over yourself and your high horse.
I think a good marriage is where you two are a team, you celebrate and encourage each other, work together to solve any problems that come up and underneath it all is a solid friendship. That alpha podcast trash will never lead to a happy relationship.
I need advice, I’ve heard that it’s the partnership against the problem, but what do you do when it’s the other person? My bf has a bad habit of not texting me for 4+ hours straight and he knows I don’t like it. He also doesn’t tell me when he has stuff in his planner, even when I ask stuff gets forgotten
@@sarahkinsey5434 Set boundaries and enforce them. Decide on your deal breakers and inform him. Respect the same boundaries from him. If he can't form a functioning partnership with you (and you don't form one with him), refuses to respect your boundaries (while you're respecting his), and refuses to collaborate when you make the effort to do so, then part ways and find someone who will. It's not easy, but it's best in the long run. Not every relationship is going to be successful.
First story - this is not going to get better. This is who he is and he will get worse as the years go by. This is emotional abuse, pure and simple and the more he can chip away at you, the farther he will push. Whether you leave or not is of course up to you - you've attracted this relationship to learn something (for yourself) and your intuition will tell you what to do and when to do it. My advice is to listen to yourself, do not second guess whatever your gut is telling you and act on ap so you can move forward. Yes, this is coming from experience and yes, you deserve much better. 💜
Omg that first story is so my ex husband! He did that to me for nearly 8 years! And I finally got enough confidence to leave and now I'm with an amazing man that loves me and supports me in all that I do!
When she started on the, "The woman like does this and this, and the man does that and that" and I'm sitting here listening to the lists like, "So my husband was supposed to do those things? Wait, was I the wife *and* the husband?" (and he still doesn't understand why I left him and his emotional baggage) 🤣🤣🤣
This one hit right at home today Charlotte!!!! I'm literally going through the process of a protective order and then divorce from a narcissist, we have 3 children together and all of these hit hard! If he says he's going to find someone else, he's thought about it enough to know that's a red flag! And the others ohh my!! You said it all lady! And the last one with the jar , as someone who's literally been there done that, take the kids and run as fast as you can! The older they get the worse it gets and for everyone! Not the narcissist obviously but everyone else. Ohh the stories I have that are so close to all of this is nuts! Seriously ladies Know Your worth and get out!!! (As someone who's spent 13 years and just now leaving!)
@courtneymarti8199 Thank You So Much for that! It's been so hard and I've definitely doubted myself alot! In the end I have to do what's right for the kids!
@dorothytenute2710 Thank You! We are definitely getting there! Just starting the process for divorce and know it will get ugly because he doesn't think we should, but ya know, doing what's needed and best for kiddos and myself now ❤️
Every time someone wants to 'joke' like that, I think of the term Schrodinger's Douchebag: someone who says something provocative and whether or not they mean it depends on the reaction of the people in the room.
Lol my son developed fomo at naptimes he knows that when I sit to watch the potato queen he's obsessed with her laugh so now we have a snuggle time and watch it before he naps
I have the earrings ur wearing but with a green diamond. Also im happily married for 25 years this year. All i can say is make ur spous ur best friend. Talk to them about everything and anything and make sure they always come first. Even before the kids. Bc in order to show ur kids ur happily married and a team u have to actually be happy together and strong. Be strong together and your children will have a strong happy relationships also.
First woman: 100% divorce, he isn’t joking and it will only get worse. Fundamentally disrespecting your partner is the opposite of love, it’s control. Free yourself asap
Ironically, the way you actually become a dominant alpha man is by making all of the vulnerable people-including women, children, elderly, and animals -safe in your presence… not by attacking them and dragging them down 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️ Ladies don’t let years of rude “joking” like that go by!!! Cut that off immediately!
There is no alpha, its all nonsense for the naive to buy. These pod casts are the problem she needs to get her husband a proper counselor and make him stop listening to ALL that crap immediately. He needs to go back to being himself, dump his crap friend and never touch those incel weirdo pod casts again.
My husband is a SAHD and does everything around the house. I'm the breadwinner but to me he is the "alpha". He cares for me and our kid, makes sure we feel validated and safe. We would go to the wall for that man. Real "alpha" energy isn't loud, it's innate and felt
Thank you Charlotte !!!❤❤ I have had some of this from people before . I never knew what is was called . Thank you so much your a joy to watch and my eight year old love’s you!! She heard that another girl called you Aunti Charlotte and now she gets so excited when Charlotte is on . Thank you for being amazing and also being so informative and trying to lift up everyone !!! Congratulations to you and your Beloved you are such a beautiful couple I know I don’t know you at all , but have watch for a long time and you seem very happy . Wishing you so much Love , Luck and happiness !!!
When I got married few years ago, I am quite a catch and attractive. (I am fat now lol). When me and my husband got married we got into fights almost regularly over dishes and house mess and garbage and finance. He on the other hand thinks I am too demanding and hard headed, surely no guys can stand me. So , he started to ask me "I am such a good husband. What kind of husband do you think would stand you nagging and demands want if you divorce me?" I said "Who told you I want another husband? Once is enough and I want to be single and not picking up your stuffs anymore". Safe to say he learn to pick up his mess afterwards.
A true man has confidence in everything they do. My husband use to hold his pinky out when drinking. Lol. I use to laugh so hard and loved him for it. He was a proud man and always owned who he was. ❤️❤️❤️.
THIS. My husband recently got into Baldur's Gate and now he cracks jokes about stuff like "I cast laughing banshee on you!" And then because he gestures like he's a wizard, I burst out laughing. I'm definitely the disciplinarian in the house-- I call myself the Household Coordinator on LinkedIn 😅-- I would laugh myself sick at anyone who tries to insinuate my husband is somehow whipped by me 😂
@ Amen!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣. My husband loved to wear the colors Salmon and Purple. He had a great sense of humor. That’s the glue of every marriage. You gotta laugh a the little things. We use to go to the drive-in theater and we had matching full body, with feet, jammies we would wear. He would get so excited when I would bring a new pair home. It tickled me pink. ❤️.
"I'm sorry I wasn't aware of your emotional state" is not an apology. That's a non-apology. He is trying to say sorry for YOUR poor behaviour and not his! If you fall for the trick, both of you walk away thinking it was your reaction that was the problem, not his attitude. It's a manipulative tactic of making it sound like an apology, but it's not and he knows it's really a backslap criticism being poorly gift wrapped with 'sorry' written on the card.
1:40 Yeah, well, nowadays when men say they want "traditional" wives, they somehow keep forgetting that "traditional" wives also used to have "traditional" husbands, aka men capable of being the breadwinner, capable of doing the "manly" household chores like repairing appliances, cars, plumbing, roof tiling, lawn moving, actually protecting the wife and kids from outsiders trying to harm them and not just physically, etc. etc. - none of which these modern guys wanting "traditional" lifestyle are even remotely capable of. I always say that there's absolutely nothing wrong with a couple deciding to go the "traditional husband/wife" route, but only if it's consensual and equal. If the wife is a homemaker, then the husband needs to be a breadwinner capable of the traditional husbandly duties. There are old couples in my neighbourhood where it works just like that whom I have always envied their mutual respect towards each other. You will find, though, that these modern loudmouths wanting traditional wives will immediately cry "golddigger" if the woman goes, "Okay, sure, I'll stay home and play Susie homemaker if you'll foot the bills." They want all the advantages on their side, no thought to equality at all.
this. I've gotten a lot of flack for prefering this type of marriage, but it's one that my husband and I fit into nicely. Its foundation, however, is built entirely on mutual respect and valuing each other as a team member, not a hierarchy. I have my strengths, he has his, and thus we *chose* our roles as we preferred and agreed on. NO ONE inherently has to be this or that because of what or how they identify, they are who they choose, and a functional team is one that respects and supports that.
I have seen SO MANY men who expect their wives to be both a homemaker and have a 9-5. I don’t know how that’s even possible (it’s definitely possible if husband and kids help, but husbands usually don’t in these situations unfortunately.)
I always think about my grandparents and the MOUNTAIN of respect my grandpa had for my grandma, even when they had traditional roles. We were not allowed to say a single bad thing about her because, in his words, she was "a terrific woman who works her ass off". He was a traditional provider, earning money in a factory job, and he handed almost all his money to her so she could administer the household. They took care of each other till the very end, even through alzheimers and cancer. Then I hear these podcast maggots thinking they're real men and my only possible reaction is basic disgust.
@AerynK The flack you get is likely because the informed consent and equality tends to lack in such types of marriages in a lot of people's experiences, and so people make assumptions, resent you for "propagating the stereotype", never even noticing their own hypocrisy and counterproductiveness. Equality and informed consent, mutual respect. If you have that in your marriage, if it's healthy and not abusive, nobody has the right to stick their nose in it. That's what people need to learn.
The Husband in the last story. Sheesh that brought back so much trauma from my Ex-Friend! I wished I never become friends with him, but he kept being "Nice" in public and around his "Real" friends so good luck in trying to prove anything. And the Gaslighting was so bad at one point I actually thought there WAS something wrong with me! Turns it out the moment I stopped talking to him, I felt whole lot better! Hopefully, he will finally get the message that we're done! But knowing him, he won't!
The jelly jar story is triggering ME I hate when ppl interrupt me & I hate when ppl tell me I said or did something I KNOW I didn’t! (Y’know, like in a conversation somebody says did you just say this word instead of that word? Stuff like that.) This dad/husband is treating OP like another child! He’s turning it into almost like a sibling argument but the “boy is always right.” OF COURSE OP wants to go find the cameras at the grocery store to prove him wrong - it seems like he does this to her a lot! When the son sees that they’re not a unified parenting team, he will take full advantage of that, end up walking ALL over the parents become a spoiled brat! It will be all the hubby’s fault! But he’ll probably blame her for that too.
Well, yes we can.....it would be how he reacted to his twin's "joke". Or worse. The other way to deal with hubby's BS "jokes" is to deadpan say, "Okay, you do that." Maybe with a side of, "Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya."
His brother, basically told him his wife could get " another him in a minute" after he left her, and that he was also in line, way to humble his twin ,honestly
When my ex husband started making “jokes” about replacing me I started making “jokes” about how much size matters. He was less inclined to joke. I still traded up and never looked back.
When the brother started crying and asked if she had feelings for his brother since they're twins, and basically the same person, she should have said, "no, but I've seen a lot more good things in him while we were at the house than I've seen in you since we got married." Honestly, I feel like he was trying to play the victim. If she had said yes, then he would be able to go around to everyone and make it seem that she really wanted his bother the whole time. Although, even if he tried that, he would have his family debunking everything he said. In the second one, if it was getting divorced over just the broken jar, I would say that's crazy. But it sounds like his behavior has been going on for a while. How long has he been acting like this towards her, her feelings, or things she has said in the past? Why is he not asking his son why he did what he did? Does he not see that his son is turning into a mini version of himself? I get that kids don't understand what consequences are and will just mimic/copy what they see because they think it's normal behavior. But why is the father not sitting down with him and explaining that he shouldn't have shoved the cart and that he shouldn't have spoken to his mother the way he did, and he owes her an apology. Would he have thought the same things if he had been doing the shopping, and his son did the same thing on his watch? I wonder what would have happened if she had told the manager that the video could have been used in court as evidence, and that it could be obtained as evidence. Even if that wouldn't happen, I wonder if the manager's attitude would have changed.
The jelly jar situation…I wish she could get the security footage! I have a feeling it would show the husband was actually the one that was looking at their phone. Thank you, Charlotte, for always raising my blood pressure in such a fun and bubbly way lol.
The twins story: It's obvious that the competition between the twins has been unhealthy for awhile. I'm surprised if this behavior just came out of nowhere. OP's husband is way out of line, but it's not OP's job to make him feel more secure. I'd be curious if his insecurity came out of the blue, or if his more adventurous twin has been needling his more conservative brother. Either way, husband needs therapy to work on his self esteem. It's up to OP if she wants to hang around for that. Whatever she does, I hope she keeps her eye on her birth control and not introduce kids into this toxicity.
I agree. I think the husband is jealous of his brother's outgoing, adventurous personality and wishes he could be more like him, which could be a reason for the competition in the first place. Then to add to it, his toxic friend and those tiktok videos are like the fuel to the fire that's already there.
holy cow I was triggered by the jelly jar. You were %100 right, that woman is being gas lit all the time, if she wanted to "prove" she was right by the security cameras. My ex used to do this to me all the time, I still suffer from the after math of narcissistic abuse. It is so damaging to your self esteem, your self image, and your self confidence. I feel for her and hope she gets out of that relationship.
16:37 You shouldn’t have arguments in front of your children for starters. Or involve them in it. Sounds like the kid has witnessed it enough to know how to get his way by siding with the father and working against the mother. That doesn’t work. Both parents should talk privately and then discuss how to handle the child’s behavior.
I’m not one to vote for instant divorce or breakup but the husband in the first story 100% needs to be the one that takes charge in making a solution as it was 100% HIS mistake. If he doesn’t wanna do more that empty apologies and breakfast he isn’t as sorry as he claims
This makes me so thankful I have the husband that I have. We both worked and helped each other with chores. We never nag each other or control each other. Most of his friends have toxic relationships.
Agreed. If she has to just "take" the mean-spirited jokes for years, but he needs "defending" against them once at one dinner... yikes. He's gonna cheat or worse, because he's so insecure and awful. Divorce!! Save yourself!!
I really don't think is going to end well either... He got told of by almost his whole family and still kept the "alpha" behavior disrespecting her and when she told him that she was disappointed and disgusted by him NOW he is apologetic, she says she NEEDS her space and he is not respecting that either.
The first one, DIVORCE your significant other if they threaten to leave you. He can look for another wife without you. A person who truly loves you, will NEVER EVER attempt to neg you into feeling like YOU can't do better than them. They are too busy lovin you to care about whose dominant/submissive in a relationship. If your significant other puts you down in any way, they don't love you. They like the idea of you.
That last story got me, because I learned that the hard way with my own dad. If it's bad enough for you to want to have a recording to back you up, it's time to run. I didn't have a support system, I tried to get recordings and had them deleted because I was "overreacting" to the situation, and I lost almost every connection I had that could help me. She needs to run, not walk, and try to make sure that man cannot influence her eldest any more than he already has.
Yes-nice comments, nice things and kind words makes a marriage. My husband and I, married 32 years, study French every night. Last night, he complimented me, saying he could tell I was working hard on my French. Today, I made homemade bagels as bagels are hard to find in France and he loves them.
Ok devoted Christian here 🙄 we are definitely instructed in the Bible to honor our husband! HOWEVER..... Genesis 2:18- states that the woman's to be a "compliment" and a "helper" Im not going to list all the scriptures but i can!! The wife and husband are a team so if the wife is being put down and weakened the husbands job is to pick her up. So in the event that the husband is the one tearing her down thats a huge issue. This video is a classic example of false religious beliefs and behavior 👏
It’s also an example of cherry picking texts without fully understanding the context or intent! The Bible was written at a time (I won’t even get into the times and contexts of the many times it was edited for political reasons) where women did not have equal rights and were often “sold” (in a way) to their husbands by their fathers. In a good “Christian” situation this happens when a man proves to the father that he can protect, support and provide a happy life to the daughter and the father, loving his daughter is like “I believe he will treasure you and give you a good life, will you marry him?” She trusts her father and the guy doesn’t seem creepy and has also proven to be respectful to her so she agrees. She won’t inherit anything and has very few ways to make her own money so having a good husband is one of the only ways to have a good life. The husband is working very hard and doesn’t have the time or the life-training/skills to do the house work (which used to involve a lot of training and time because the devices that are so easy to use now didn’t exist). Housework used to be a full time job that required training and education and honestly, 1 person could not do it all. Also poor housework had much more serious consequences back then such as infestation and infection/disease (still happens today but only when things get really bad, not just “messy”). The Bible was trying to say, “ladies, I know you work hard and are responsible for continuing the blood line and take all the risks of child birth and often don’t truly see the work your husband is putting in (out in the field/with the animals doing things you may not understand) while he sees the fruit of your work (comes home to a clean space with good food and children) so please respect him because his job allows you to do yours”. So the context to apply to modern day is, both of you are needed to make a relationship work and you should respect the work of each other because it should be complimenting each other and allowing you to live a better life then you could alone. In all seriousness, men and women don’t play the same roles as when those verses were written. The world kept turning and times changed, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still learn from it, we just need to actually think about the intent and context of what was written a bit deeper to apply it to modern life. Also, always consider how cultural/personal bias can influence translations. Like a direct translation of many languages would only include men because in many languages words indicating a group of mixed genders used the masculine form of words. Take that context and apply cultural (unacknowledged) misogyny and the good is applied to men (when it was talking about everyone) and only things that apply to only women still apply to only women.
My step dad is like the guy from the jelly story. Would constantly convince me that I was entitled for expecting the bare minimum, like food and privacy.
Yeah as a highly educated woman … men usually respond one of these ways: a. Immediately moving on to someone else, b. tries to prove more about my topic/career that I’ve been in for like 10-15 years, c. Immediately “friend zoned” or d. Implosion because of their insecurities about their own education/intellectual levels but aims it at me as if I judge them lol
Good to know. I thought it was just me. Friends would tell me to "dumb it down" and "act more needy or mysterious" to attract them. I hated it because I kept thinking, "What is wrong with just being me?"
@@kp4911 That is terrible advice from your friends. Ask them why you should spend the rest of your life pretending to be someone else just because a man can't handle who you are? Ask why YOU have to be the one to pretend and not the man?
First, I've met people in my field (IT) with PhDs who were as dumb as a box of rocks in the field so a degree doesn't mean much unless one can back it up. Second, most male presenting people won't feel insecure is you're more educated than them. My girlfriend has a master's degree, and I only have an associate's degree. My girlfriend can definitely back it up when it comes to her field (child psychology). I don't care that she's more educated than I am. Anyone who's secure in themselves won't have a problem if you're more educated than them or better than them at anything in general as long as the other person doesn't try to rub it in their face.
When they say “I love you “ Ask them’”WHAT DO YOU LOVE ABOUT ME or WHY DO YOU LOVE ME? And listen to whether it’s all about what you do for him or your strength and who you are as a person.
2:12 that is an insane way to talk to your spouse. My husband and I are very sarcastic, but also religious and have some more traditional values in some areas, but my husband would never joke like that. Neither of us would make any kind of joke veiled in a threat of leaving one another, that's just toxic as hell.
I had a spouse like that (the man in the jelly jar story). Getting a divorce was the best thing ever! the emotional ab*** ruined my selfesteem and it also slowly evolved into physical ab*** .... don't stay with someone like that!!
That last story: the kid saying "I can do whatever I want" is so telling. It means that this has been happening so long and so consistently that the kid has picked up on it, and knows that he can pit his parents against each other to get away with anything and do whatever he wants with no consequences Divorce, babes, divorce
Just to clear this up: Tate and his brother were arrested for s3x with a minor and trafficking. (Among others) I will never let that go. It needs to be talked about more
The second one. I had this for over 15 years of marriage. My ex never backed me when I had to discipline my son. When I eventually divorced my ex me son, started to do things around the house that made me question my sanity. He would hide things then put them back etc. my son and I are now on great terms but, it took many years to get here. Oh, and, he has nothing to do with his father.
My mom told me that the will to finally leave my bio dad and not put up with the way he treated her is when a coworker asked if she would be okay with a man treating me (her daughter) that way because either my dad would treat me that way or I would grow up thinking it was okay for men to treat me the way she was treated. She was NOT okay with that and they separated/divorced when I was 2.
13:29 This! This is why marraige counceling is needed. In the heat of the moment, you think he was actively listening to her or her him? You want a third party who is partial, and will call out all the BS, and translate the misunderstandings. You have to learn to communicate well and actively listen before you can actually do it. And if you're posting online, asking for advice, guess what? you guys probably don't communicate well.
In Ancient Greek times, it was often customary for the woman to have domestic influence and the men to have external influence. That is, the woman managed the household and the farm servants and controlled the household purse. The man would be the one going out on expeditions and go to war and have the adventures that we read about. There have been examples in Greek literature where the man wanted to buy a gift for his BFF, but had to ask his wife for money and justify the expense. In "traditional" roles, as I see it, the wife has authority over the house and takes care of the family, while the husband has authority outside the house to earn the money and bring home the bacon. There's also the saying, "Happy wife. Happy life."
*Big* fan of the in-laws in the first story defending their daughter-in-law, and not simply siding with their son/s because of ‘family ties’ or what have you.
In a loving relationship and, more importantly, a marriage, build each other up, not tear each other down. Communication is key because it is the number one cause of the relationship failure. Men who want their lady to clean up after them, in other words, housework, wants mommy back. It's degrading for a woman to be expected to go around and pick up after a slop and do everything else just to "please her man!" 😮
charlotteee, can I suggest some dark brown mixed in with ginger lash extensions for your wedding day? it would super lovely and natural with your hair colour. more ginger toward the inner corner, mixing the dark brown in more and more as you get to the outer😮💨
As an identical twin, can confirm that my husband has no attraction whatsoever-so-ever for my sister. My husband also looks strikingly like his dad…no attraction there either. Love is more than looks.
seriously. you're identical PHYSICAL twins. personality is different (at least different enough)... like she's not your CLONE
Every identical twin is always so different. Knew someone who dated an identical twin and he said he’d never have dated the other.
Sounds like it's about looks for that husband. Otherwise, he wouldn't be so insecure about it.
True. For instance, I have no idea what these brothers look like, and I already like the brother way more than the husband.
long term yes but short term that doesn't make sense. if there's a person you find sexually attractive, initially you'll also find a person that is an identical twin or looks just like them also sexually attractive. a lot of people have a type and that's just the way it is. the only way it would end immediately is if that person wasn't attracted to you too and they made it clear by rejecting you.
the type of attraction, i believe you really mean, takes lots of time to develop. so yes, once a person gets to know both identical twins/look alike they may even be repulsed by their different personality/character
My father was a rocket scientist. Literally. And I never heard him put down my mother.
He believed he married up, and he strived to show throughout their marriage that he had married up. Sure, they had disagreements, but he never belittled her.
Same! Dad loved to joke "It doesn't take a rocket scientist but since I'm here..."😂
'The twin brother is either a geniuses or just plain diabolical either way im here for it..
It sounds like everyone in their family is aware of what an insecure loser OP's husband is.
He is confident and self assured, the husband is jealous of his brother because he is insecure and low self esteem
Leave the husband, take the twin!!
the twin honestly had me with that comment and attitude 😂😂
sounds like he was also married so ................ diabolical genius
I love that even the 1st OP's in-laws were a like "HELL NAW" when the husband was being misogynistic
Jelly jar story reminds me of the woman whose boyfriend threw water on her and then turned around playing the victim, gaslighting her and claiming she was the one who did it when she started recording on her phone. "You always do this. You threw the water. You always do stuff like this and then blame me on camera." She knew his stick and had been smart enough to have another camera set up and recording from before he entered the kitchen so she could finally prove to everyone how he was acting.
I wouldn't even wait to collect proof, should've left the first moment he threw water
So she set him up!
I remember that one!!
He was so convincing too!!
Then you see the FULL video and there HE is throwing water on her friggin laptop while laughing and when she gets upset and asked "why'd you do that?" he switched up "what are you talking about?
You ALWAYS do this!
YOU do something and blame me while recording!
You're sick!
You need help!“
😮😮😮
Good thing she set up the second camera!
And caught him red handed!
And had the proof!
@@IMOO1896so he was abusive and got caught!?
I'll bet he smashed cake in her face at the wedding.
As a parent, you always support the other parent in front of the children, even if you don't agree with them.
You then discuss it privately with each other later.
Especially younger children. I can see letting that slide with some older children but only if it’s done as a way for all perspectives to be explored and explained. Eg, their 15 years old daughter wants to have their friend with a new driver’s license be their ride to school. Mom thinks it would be great because the kid always misses the bus and now she can stop being late because her friend would be pushier. Dad is worried about safety of a new driver driving with friends. Daughter explains that she is getting bullied on the bus by someone and has purposely been missing it. All 3 have valid points that may not come out if not all discussed together. It should never be one parent laying down the law and then the other parent laying down a different law. I will say I took full advantage of that as a kid with divorced parents, although there was no shared custody so mostly I just used it to get spoiled by having my dad buy me extra sweets and books because mom couldn’t/wouldn’t get them for me (and I used to wonder why I always got sick at my dads…)
Absolutely!!! 🥰
"I need space"
proceeeds to keep disrespecting her boundaries more by continuously sending texts and voicemails
Thank you! I was looking for someone noticing this!
Is very telling that he is not respecting her boundaries even after being told of by her and his family
How she hasn't fallen OUT OF LOVE with him because of that, confuses me.
6:14 unless that breakfast came with an apology AND a booking confirmation for HIM to go to therapy, I’d never even consider looking this man in the eyes again.
I needed this today. The first story is like my husband constantly “making jokes” that aren’t funny. I’m so done with these. He doesn’t understand how disrespectful these comments are
My parents did the same thing to me and my bullies realized that if they got me to laugh, they could get away with some nasty pranks.
Or he does AND it's the aim. To make the other person feel smaller. That's not loving.
I saw a story like this… go n a dating app, and show him how many matches you’d get if you were single 😂
You could also make one for him, and show him how few he’ll get.
Leave. Now.
please leave him🙏🙏
Let me just say that I LOOOOVE the mil and fil in the first story. I absolutely love how they protected the daughter in law. They are the jems in the story
Agree so much! Also love the twin BIL, even if what he did would have been inappropriate in other circumstances. In this case, he gave the “I was only joking” BS right back at his bro. I hope the husband really comes around and he and OP can heal from this.
As a male, if he was dumb enough to tell his wife that he would leave her for another woman………Then he opens himself for retaliation. Kidding or not, jokes aside, if you can’t take it, don’t dish it out.❤️✌️
Exactly. How they cry and whine when it's turned on them is very telling
Exactly
Absolutly, you can't claim its all just a joke, when no one laughts or when you can't see tge hunor, when it is turned on you!!! Thats not joking but kicking down
Yes!
actually he opened himself up for divorce
20:31 I have some words of wisdom for ANYONE who is trying to raise children with someone who does this to you. 21 years!! For 21 years I stayed. I was mentally trapped. At most times I thought it was what was best for my children but he constantly did things like this. My eldest two children are 17 & 19 and the eldest still battles with her issues. She hates me right now although I’m the only parent she can lean on. Hates me bc her father did things just like this from such an early age. She’s torn bc she feels stuck between her momma who’s always been there and supports her every move, and the father she aims so desperately to please, who I left 4 years ago. Her younger sister was a mommas girl so ofc he would always take issue with her. She now has almost no relationship with their father. And my son is now 7 and he was only 3 when we left so he’s thriving and doing well and is primarily raised by me alone. Leave when they’re young. It doesn’t get easier and he or she will never change or see the light. It’s not possible just get that idea out of your head. See them for who they tell you and show you that they are. Myself and my two younger kids are all in therapy now. My eldest will get there if it’s the last thing I do. ❤❤❤
Thank you for sharing your story. You have been really brave and I’m glad you were able to get your family out! Stay safe and I hope the best things can reach you
That’s sad and I hope you and the kids heal from that toxicity ❤
my heart goes out to you. My mom and I have friends who went through similar as you, If you try counceling and it doesn't work, then absolutely end it. If it's too far gone and too much hurt that can't be repaired, then absolutely end it. ANd sooner than later as the kids are young enough to learn better behavior.
I am sorry about your daughter ❤ I have a gaslighting fuck off dad myself and my mum actually still lives with him. In the first years after I moved out I was so angry at my mum for staying and letting that happen because now I am 25 and still battling the problems I got from this nightmare. But I realised my mum is just human too and wanted for me to have a dad bc my (half-) brother never had one. This realisation needed some time and a big talk with just the two of us but now I have atleast one parent. What I am trying to say: she will come back and I can only imagine how hard this is for you ❤❤❤❤
If your spouse thinks negging is funny, even after seeing that you're not laughing, they can LEAVE.
Just did last year! Woop! Feels so much better being alone or with someone who does the exact opposite of that. I deserved better for so many years ❤
*should leave
9:20 I am able to be in my feminine today and sit and watch Charlotte Dobre while I paint my nails, because my sweet husband is vacuuming the house and cooking dinner today. It's all about balance 💅
Jelly Jar: She need to RUN not Walk to the nearest Devorce Lawyer and GET OUT! That Man is a TOTAL Narcissist!
😂😂Huh? Pretell, how do know he's a narcassist? Do you know him, or are you psychic? Dang, you're gifted.
I've noticed some questionable behaviors in you, and I think you may be projecting.
That's how insane you sound. He's human. He messed up, and needs to overcome his insecurities.
Edit; I'm the idiot. I guess I can see why you thought what you did. I THOUGHT IT WAS THE FIRST STORY.
Still, forgive me. I GET upset when people use that term flippantly, because I've experienced it. However, traits and weakness doesn't necessarily mean narcassistic.
I'm the fool. I should've read your comment with comprehension.
I will say however we should allow people to be flawed. Sometimes, we are the villans. Life is hard ya know.
My friend’s ex-husband did this kind of stuff with their kids, showing them how to mock and disrespect her. Now, years after their divorce, he is still turning their kids against her and also continuously attempting to destroy her financially through the courts.
@@janetc6079My thoughts are with your friend and her kids. People that do that are lower than scum. I truly hope those kids see their dad for what he really is. Karma is real and what he's doing possibly will come back on him. That's truly so disgusting what he's doing!
@@janetc6079my ex systematically broke me and destroyed my relationship with my kids. 😢
I sought help from everyone and everywhere..he just had to say I was being "insert my name" and now I type this alone while my 26 and 31 year olds still live with him. I didn't even get a you too from my Xmas text to my son...😢
Yes and her son will end up like that too if she doesn't get out and into a healthy relationship.
Narcissists who deliberately gaslight you and feed off your stress, telling her she is crazy and contradicting her.... leave him now
My mom is wholeheartedly the enforcer in my house growing up and my dad was the nuturer. My mom made the appts, my dad just did the food shopping and cooking. They both worked as teachers. A maid cleaned our house once a week. Other than that. My mom did our laundry until we learned to do it ourselves. My dad was the one who planned vacations and dealt with the finances. Like other than my mom being the one to uphold household rules for us kids and my dad being the compassionate one and listened to our problems, their roles within the house were always just who was best with what.
I can relate to that, however thought with that being said my mom was some times a bit bat crazy at times but in a way I am what is coined: my mother's son 2:32
Exactly! You are the man or woman in your relationship based on your sex/gender, not what role you play. I am a stay at home dad. I am the man in my relationship because I am A man. The idea that you're only a man or woman based on what you do or don't do at home is an idea that needs to die in a fire.
I agree: do what's best for your family, no matter the role you take.
This is what a relationship is supposed to be like working together it can't always be 50/50 but try to make it be that
Even those things were likely based on who did them better.
My mom … can’t really cook. She did for a time as a single parent and hated every moment. My stepdad is a great cook so he cooked the majority of the time. It’s not that deep. As long as both partners feel equal in a relationship because they contribute, performative (and antiquated) gender roles don’t matter. In fact a lot of traditional gender roles were created and enforced by marketing and consumerism, not by “if it’s not broke don’t fix it” like so many people seem to think.
When I’m at work or doing stuff I’m in my masculine energy but my bf knows hows to bring me back to my feminine. After long day he has my switch, heated blanket, a snack, drink, and massage waiting for me! He is the most masculine and compassionate man I’ve ever met. He lets me be a boss and be soft 🥰
Um... the jelly jar story?? The wife needs to RUN. This husband in this instance is at the very least displaying narcissistic behavior if he is not a full blown narcissist. The gas lighting, counterparenting the passive aggressive apology are HUGE red flags.
Not to mention the influence on their son. He's not teaching his son to respect his mother.
Well, he says he saw with his eyes her knock it over and then blame her son. That would upset me as well. She's implying he should not trust his own eyes because she could see what happened while also looking at her phone.
I understand why she would not trust his eyes better than her own. But also why he would not trust hers better than his. I don't see a reason to believe that this is gaslighting to me. We don't know which one actually happened, but somebody is mistaken. And they clearly both don't have great communication and trust in one another for just to turn into a fight like it did.
He was absolutely wrong though in giving the child a snack when the mother already said no. He should not contradict his wife in that way to their child. I understand being upset but that's a major parenting red flag
@@DInDelusion He's making it up.He didn't see shit.
Completely agree!
agree .............. but the "counterparenting" will be the worst red flag. when her children get older they will make her life a living he ll whether she divorces her husband or not.
My ex husband was exactly the type of guy in the second story. At times he would get physically abusive but a lot of his abuse was emotional. It took me a little while to leave hoping he would change but they never do. He constantly blamed ME for everything that went wrong in our marriage and even to this day it’s STILL my fault while he’s trying to get back together with me. Trying to be with someone like him a third time would lead to too much stress and unhappiness. The only good thing that I can say is that even tho he was a terrible husband he’s a great father to our son and his daughter and quite frankly he doesn’t need anymore relationships.
Mr. Red Pill from the first story needs to take several seats. I don’t even need to hear the rest of the story to say OP isn’t the ahole. Plenty of couples have a dynamic where they can joke with each other about certain things, but it is MUTUAL. If they tell the other person to stop, they stop and take that joke out of the roster. These “serve me wench” comments with a chaser of gaslighting is a surefire road to divorceville.
I thought he was mormon or the horrible kind of christian
This has nothing to do with red pill. You’re ignorant.
Bingo! 👍🏆
@@Suedepants100 Yeah, he is SO red pill. He must've been binge watching Andrew Tate.
HA! Correctumundo!!!! 😆🏆
Red pilled??? Maybe you should look up the definition of being red-pilled hahhahahhah cuz that ain't it!!! 😂😂😂😂😂
As someone who is celebrating 30 years of marriage next year….each marriage is a separate negotiation between the two people only. Who does what is no one else’s business, and the negotiating continues in the marriage as people’s interests and abilities change. Charlotte is right that you need to be nice to your partner, and not tear them down. Help to smooth the rough edges, but don’t be a sledgehammer. Here’s to many happy years for Charlotte and her handsome man!
Jelly jar guy is the exact same way my ex husband was (and still is). Get the divorce, he isn't worth any effort because he will never change.
Yeah, my ex is like that, too.
20:22 my uncle did this to my cousin. I had to grow up with a male cousin who was physically, mentally, emotionally, and seggsually ab*sive. That cousin is raising his son to be the same way… especially when his baby mama left him for another guy. LEAVE!!! DONT TOLERATE IT!!!
Those earrings Charlotte's wearing are the chef's kiss❤
Thanks hun, I love them too!
@CharlotteDobre they're so lovely and suit you beautifully. Would a link be okay to where they can be bought?
I was thinking the same with the exception that I'd prefer silver.
Yes they are
@@ladyesylvermoon me too!
1:20 keep your work, keep your independence leverage, if he's not making you happy then reevaluate things, he's trying to put in jabs to devalue you ma'am.
What a ridiculous Dick. Love the twin brother
With the jelly jar wife...I get it. He's gonna be soooo apologetic after she gets back from visiting her mom if he has to take care of the kids in her absence, but she shouldn't fall for it.
Divorce-worthy. One broken jelly jar doesn't break a marriage or a woman's spirit like that. She would have already broken over something her first kid did years ago if she were that weak.
I audio recorded one of my husband's abusive rants which he claimed he never did. When I played it back he was indignant that I recorded him. He should have been apologizing for it...nope.
If you had the video, it wouldn't matter. You need to get out. He's awful.
My dad is like this. It never matters. You will never get an apology. You will only be belittled and demeaned. There is no winning besides leaving. @demondogmom7221
Yep. He'll go back to the love bombing phase, but it won't last. He'll need to punish her for leaving and quickly revert to the devaluation stage again.
I'm sorry but there's no way in hell I'd leave small kids to this man. He needs to be told to go sleep on a friends couch and she call her (and maybe his if she's a good MiL) mom to come help, start child therapy while mom is visiting and tell hubby he's not allowed back into the house until he agrees to start therapy too or this will continue. If he breaks a single boundary once they are set, then file the divorce papers, but also legally separate to make sure he gets the heck out. This is the only way to not only teach the son that actions have consequences but to see if the relationship is salvagable and is he willing to change to save the marriage... usually not, though, as someone as far gone as he is tends to think he'll groom him a nice young one to replace her. Also, for her own sake, she should start counceling as well to deal with the trauma and to help reinforce what healthy is. It's one of the only things that saved me.
With Jelly Jar Jane, if this was a pattern, I would have walked out of the store, gone to the airport and gone to my parents' right then. No explanation; no heads-up to the husband. He is 100% the AH, and nobody deserves to be treated like that by husband OR child.
Holy Moly I'm glad I'm not married. 2 minutes into the first story and all I'm thinking is, if that was me I'd be calling a divorce attorney the moment those words came out of his mouth. Boy bye. I don't have time for that.
I would call one too if my husband pulled that! My husband is super sweet. I was really careful and had my bullshit radar on full blast when we were dating lol.
Not for the first story, that guy just listened to the wrong friend and pod casts, he is salvageable. But the second? RUN. Get the kids away from toxic evil influence dad and with a good counselor.
I'd honestly go marry the brother 😂
When you're with the right person these sort of situations don't happen. You have issues but not breaking your relationship issues. The right person, things feel easy, even the arguments. The husband is not ok and needs to get off social media.
You will be surprised how hard it is to maintain relationship for years, it's work , every single day.
Each and every person has loony side, the major problem is that people pretend to be their best before wedding, and later open up. Plus don't forget life itself that changes and change us. To keep it running , couple should talk with each other and compromise.
In my marriage I do most everything while also teaching my husband how to do handyman type things around the house. But growing up his dad was very hands off and hired someone to fix things whereas my dad taught me how to fix things around the house. I am a proud captain of my shipwreck because nobody is perfect 💪🏼
8:21 totally not me typing out "the man may be the head, but the woman is the neck" and not being fast enough type it before she actually said it XD
That line has ALWAYS stuck with me
And totally not me reciting it along with Charlotte. Definitely one of my favourite lines from that movie.
💯💯💯💯😂
As soon as she started saying the scentense I was just like YAS Queen!💅
That movie has so many awsome scenes and qoutes - I love it.
She also pointed out another thing that also is in the movie (dont know if she realised it herself or not), when they need to convince Gus to let Tuula work as a travel agent. And they need to make it sound like it's his idea 😁
I was about to do the same thing!!
Which movie
21:20 based on Charlotte’s examples of men’s/women’s basic ‘to dos’ (mowing lawn/making appts) that just happen that way, I have concluded that I’m in a relationship with myself, and my boyfriend is kinda like an adult child that never left home 🤨 Anyway, OP should probably rethink the marriage if he’s that swayable by idiots/idiots on line NTA. Side note, love how his family came to your defence
These stories make me thankful to be single and child free😂 no mess, no drama. Not that I'm not against relationships, I'm just not willing to put up with bad ones. I'd rather stay single than put up with that 💩
I never had kids, no regrets.
Do you every time, but know this stuff is the exception, not the rule.
HALLA TO THE ONES IN THE BACK
👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
You are smart!
My hubby and I have been together for 11 years. Not one day had gone by that he hasn't reminded/showed/told me how attracted to me he is and how much he loves me. I am so lucky to have him. 12 years this October ❤
My mother went to divorce the SECOND my brothers started acting like our abusive father.
It’s not worth it. Leave husband with HIS son.
Also, she isn’t talking about divorce over a jelly jar. She’s upset over her husband’s behaviour/reaction to their son blaming her and both of them gaslighting her.
So just so we are ALL clear - men are not allowed to have personal crises and should be divorced the minute they show one. Shame on every women here saying RUN, DIVORCE - everyone of you would throw out your TikTok psychology hot words. If these insecurities were triggered by the opinions in a conversation between men, don’t you think counseling would help him and them in the long run? Women can apparently be “fixed” or helped with counseling? How are you not affording the same respect to men?
@@katinacormier7628- It only works if THEY ARE WILLING TO CHANGE. Not all men are! My dad is abusive and has been in therapy multiple times. Hardly much has changed.
You know the most profound effect that had on him? Me finally snapping and tearing into him about how much I hated him and how he treated us like shit. I had enough and left that very night. I was 19. THAT did more for him than therapy ever did.
But guess what? Years later, he just became more emotionally and mentally abusive. Shit don’t always work. Get over yourself and your high horse.
@@katinacormier7628 Boohoo get over yourself
@@katinacormier7628😐
19:19 not looking good for the child and future ex husband.
I think a good marriage is where you two are a team, you celebrate and encourage each other, work together to solve any problems that come up and underneath it all is a solid friendship.
That alpha podcast trash will never lead to a happy relationship.
Amen!
I need advice, I’ve heard that it’s the partnership against the problem, but what do you do when it’s the other person? My bf has a bad habit of not texting me for 4+ hours straight and he knows I don’t like it. He also doesn’t tell me when he has stuff in his planner, even when I ask stuff gets forgotten
@@sarahkinsey5434 Set boundaries and enforce them. Decide on your deal breakers and inform him. Respect the same boundaries from him. If he can't form a functioning partnership with you (and you don't form one with him), refuses to respect your boundaries (while you're respecting his), and refuses to collaborate when you make the effort to do so, then part ways and find someone who will. It's not easy, but it's best in the long run. Not every relationship is going to be successful.
Agree! My husband and I are a team. 22 years together. Our friendship is strong.
First story - this is not going to get better. This is who he is and he will get worse as the years go by. This is emotional abuse, pure and simple and the more he can chip away at you, the farther he will push. Whether you leave or not is of course up to you - you've attracted this relationship to learn something (for yourself) and your intuition will tell you what to do and when to do it. My advice is to listen to yourself, do not second guess whatever your gut is telling you and act on ap so you can move forward. Yes, this is coming from experience and yes, you deserve much better. 💜
Omg that first story is so my ex husband! He did that to me for nearly 8 years! And I finally got enough confidence to leave and now I'm with an amazing man that loves me and supports me in all that I do!
When she started on the, "The woman like does this and this, and the man does that and that" and I'm sitting here listening to the lists like, "So my husband was supposed to do those things? Wait, was I the wife *and* the husband?" (and he still doesn't understand why I left him and his emotional baggage) 🤣🤣🤣
This one hit right at home today Charlotte!!!! I'm literally going through the process of a protective order and then divorce from a narcissist, we have 3 children together and all of these hit hard! If he says he's going to find someone else, he's thought about it enough to know that's a red flag! And the others ohh my!! You said it all lady! And the last one with the jar , as someone who's literally been there done that, take the kids and run as fast as you can! The older they get the worse it gets and for everyone! Not the narcissist obviously but everyone else.
Ohh the stories I have that are so close to all of this is nuts! Seriously ladies Know Your worth and get out!!! (As someone who's spent 13 years and just now leaving!)
I hope you are on to better things and a life with happiness and peace.
I'm so glad you're getting out of that situation. You're a strong woman, and don't you forget it. ❤
@courtneymarti8199 Thank You So Much for that! It's been so hard and I've definitely doubted myself alot! In the end I have to do what's right for the kids!
@dorothytenute2710 Thank You! We are definitely getting there! Just starting the process for divorce and know it will get ugly because he doesn't think we should, but ya know, doing what's needed and best for kiddos and myself now ❤️
I have a couple friends that had to leave for similar reasons...
Every time someone wants to 'joke' like that, I think of the term Schrodinger's Douchebag: someone who says something provocative and whether or not they mean it depends on the reaction of the people in the room.
OMG! 😂 This is so great 😍
@@pizzalisp5427 😂😂😂
The way I gasped when I refreshed my feed and saw Charlotte's face ❤ My little girl is down for her nap and now it's petty potato time!!
That's right! Take time for yourself too, please! 💚
Lol my son developed fomo at naptimes he knows that when I sit to watch the potato queen he's obsessed with her laugh so now we have a snuggle time and watch it before he naps
@@BunnyDivelbiss I have a feeling this will be my daughter very soon!
Lol I had a headphone in and listening while rocking my own tiny potato
@ I love it! Charlotte definitely shines some much needed light in the mundane tasks of motherhood.
I have the earrings ur wearing but with a green diamond. Also im happily married for 25 years this year. All i can say is make ur spous ur best friend. Talk to them about everything and anything and make sure they always come first. Even before the kids. Bc in order to show ur kids ur happily married and a team u have to actually be happy together and strong. Be strong together and your children will have a strong happy relationships also.
#1: he needs therapy AT MINIMUM
#2: he's DONE. clearly never told no and making the son quickly becoming the same
Charlotte! The “We move in the shadows” merch is great! BUT WE NEED A T-SHIRT THAT READS “my flabbers are gasted”
First woman: 100% divorce, he isn’t joking and it will only get worse. Fundamentally disrespecting your partner is the opposite of love, it’s control. Free yourself asap
Especially when he started doubling down after all of the apologies at the end. He's only showing he's not willing to change and that he's not sorry
yup
Lol. No mention of obey in my marriage vows which was 47 yrs ago. My husband would never make those comments because he has to sleep sometime.
Ironically, the way you actually become a dominant alpha man is by making all of the vulnerable people-including women, children, elderly, and animals -safe in your presence… not by attacking them and dragging them down 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️ Ladies don’t let years of rude “joking” like that go by!!! Cut that off immediately!
exactly. this "alpha" shit is 100% insecure little twats. REAL men don't get triggers by colours or "roles"
Ughhh I wish . I get blamed for everything. Literally all of it .
There is no alpha, its all nonsense for the naive to buy. These pod casts are the problem she needs to get her husband a proper counselor and make him stop listening to ALL that crap immediately. He needs to go back to being himself, dump his crap friend and never touch those incel weirdo pod casts again.
My husband is a SAHD and does everything around the house. I'm the breadwinner but to me he is the "alpha". He cares for me and our kid, makes sure we feel validated and safe. We would go to the wall for that man. Real "alpha" energy isn't loud, it's innate and felt
Thank you Charlotte !!!❤❤ I have had some of this from people before . I never knew what is was called . Thank you so much your a joy to watch and my eight year old love’s you!! She heard that another girl called you Aunti Charlotte and now she gets so excited when Charlotte is
on . Thank you for being amazing and also being so informative and trying to lift up everyone !!! Congratulations to you and your Beloved you are such a beautiful couple I know I don’t know you at all , but have watch for a long time and you seem very happy . Wishing you so much Love , Luck and happiness !!!
"Just sensitive and overreactive" he's subscribed to Andrew Tate, girl. Run, run, run, he's manosphering.
He can still be saved. He's just lost right now
@@romy1924 He can save himself. That's not HER job...
@@Emma-wl9dz never said it was
When I got married few years ago, I am quite a catch and attractive. (I am fat now lol). When me and my husband got married we got into fights almost regularly over dishes and house mess and garbage and finance. He on the other hand thinks I am too demanding and hard headed, surely no guys can stand me. So , he started to ask me "I am such a good husband. What kind of husband do you think would stand you nagging and demands want if you divorce me?" I said "Who told you I want another husband? Once is enough and I want to be single and not picking up your stuffs anymore". Safe to say he learn to pick up his mess afterwards.
A true man has confidence in everything they do. My husband use to hold his pinky out when drinking. Lol. I use to laugh so hard and loved him for it. He was a proud man and always owned who he was. ❤️❤️❤️.
That is kind of adorable!
@ iIts ALWAYS the little things you miss. ❤️
THIS. My husband recently got into Baldur's Gate and now he cracks jokes about stuff like "I cast laughing banshee on you!" And then because he gestures like he's a wizard, I burst out laughing. I'm definitely the disciplinarian in the house-- I call myself the Household Coordinator on LinkedIn 😅-- I would laugh myself sick at anyone who tries to insinuate my husband is somehow whipped by me 😂
@@jackroberts-pq5bd Oh, I didn’t catch the past tense at first😢I am sorry you lost him, but glad you had him.
@ Amen!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣. My husband loved to wear the colors Salmon and Purple. He had a great sense of humor. That’s the glue of every marriage. You gotta laugh a the little things. We use to go to the drive-in theater and we had matching full body, with feet, jammies we would wear. He would get so excited when I would bring a new pair home. It tickled me pink. ❤️.
"I'm sorry I wasn't aware of your emotional state" is not an apology. That's a non-apology. He is trying to say sorry for YOUR poor behaviour and not his! If you fall for the trick, both of you walk away thinking it was your reaction that was the problem, not his attitude.
It's a manipulative tactic of making it sound like an apology, but it's not and he knows it's really a backslap criticism being poorly gift wrapped with 'sorry' written on the card.
1:40 Yeah, well, nowadays when men say they want "traditional" wives, they somehow keep forgetting that "traditional" wives also used to have "traditional" husbands, aka men capable of being the breadwinner, capable of doing the "manly" household chores like repairing appliances, cars, plumbing, roof tiling, lawn moving, actually protecting the wife and kids from outsiders trying to harm them and not just physically, etc. etc. - none of which these modern guys wanting "traditional" lifestyle are even remotely capable of. I always say that there's absolutely nothing wrong with a couple deciding to go the "traditional husband/wife" route, but only if it's consensual and equal. If the wife is a homemaker, then the husband needs to be a breadwinner capable of the traditional husbandly duties. There are old couples in my neighbourhood where it works just like that whom I have always envied their mutual respect towards each other.
You will find, though, that these modern loudmouths wanting traditional wives will immediately cry "golddigger" if the woman goes, "Okay, sure, I'll stay home and play Susie homemaker if you'll foot the bills." They want all the advantages on their side, no thought to equality at all.
PERIOD!
this. I've gotten a lot of flack for prefering this type of marriage, but it's one that my husband and I fit into nicely. Its foundation, however, is built entirely on mutual respect and valuing each other as a team member, not a hierarchy. I have my strengths, he has his, and thus we *chose* our roles as we preferred and agreed on. NO ONE inherently has to be this or that because of what or how they identify, they are who they choose, and a functional team is one that respects and supports that.
I have seen SO MANY men who expect their wives to be both a homemaker and have a 9-5. I don’t know how that’s even possible (it’s definitely possible if husband and kids help, but husbands usually don’t in these situations unfortunately.)
I always think about my grandparents and the MOUNTAIN of respect my grandpa had for my grandma, even when they had traditional roles. We were not allowed to say a single bad thing about her because, in his words, she was "a terrific woman who works her ass off". He was a traditional provider, earning money in a factory job, and he handed almost all his money to her so she could administer the household. They took care of each other till the very end, even through alzheimers and cancer. Then I hear these podcast maggots thinking they're real men and my only possible reaction is basic disgust.
@AerynK The flack you get is likely because the informed consent and equality tends to lack in such types of marriages in a lot of people's experiences, and so people make assumptions, resent you for "propagating the stereotype", never even noticing their own hypocrisy and counterproductiveness.
Equality and informed consent, mutual respect. If you have that in your marriage, if it's healthy and not abusive, nobody has the right to stick their nose in it. That's what people need to learn.
The Husband in the last story. Sheesh that brought back so much trauma from my Ex-Friend! I wished I never become friends with him, but he kept being "Nice" in public and around his "Real" friends so good luck in trying to prove anything. And the Gaslighting was so bad at one point I actually thought there WAS something wrong with me! Turns it out the moment I stopped talking to him, I felt whole lot better! Hopefully, he will finally get the message that we're done! But knowing him, he won't!
The jelly jar story is triggering ME I hate when ppl interrupt me & I hate when ppl tell me I said or did something I KNOW I didn’t! (Y’know, like in a conversation somebody says did you just say this word instead of that word? Stuff like that.)
This dad/husband is treating OP like another child! He’s turning it into almost like a sibling argument but the “boy is always right.” OF COURSE OP wants to go find the cameras at the grocery store to prove him wrong - it seems like he does this to her a lot!
When the son sees that they’re not a unified parenting team, he will take full advantage of that, end up walking ALL over the parents become a spoiled brat!
It will be all the hubby’s fault! But he’ll probably blame her for that too.
19:05 this can never be fixed. Even if she divorces him, he will sabotage her relationship with their children forever. Ask me how I know.
i can't imagine how first husband would have reacted if the wife said she'd find a new husband... and then picked his twin...
Well, yes we can.....it would be how he reacted to his twin's "joke". Or worse.
The other way to deal with hubby's BS "jokes" is to deadpan say, "Okay, you do that." Maybe with a side of, "Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya."
His brother, basically told him his wife could get " another him in a minute" after he left her, and that he was also in line, way to humble his twin ,honestly
When my ex husband started making “jokes” about replacing me I started making “jokes” about how much size matters. He was less inclined to joke. I still traded up and never looked back.
I agree. You must make it very clear that two can play that game...
When the brother started crying and asked if she had feelings for his brother since they're twins, and basically the same person, she should have said, "no, but I've seen a lot more good things in him while we were at the house than I've seen in you since we got married." Honestly, I feel like he was trying to play the victim. If she had said yes, then he would be able to go around to everyone and make it seem that she really wanted his bother the whole time. Although, even if he tried that, he would have his family debunking everything he said.
In the second one, if it was getting divorced over just the broken jar, I would say that's crazy. But it sounds like his behavior has been going on for a while. How long has he been acting like this towards her, her feelings, or things she has said in the past? Why is he not asking his son why he did what he did? Does he not see that his son is turning into a mini version of himself? I get that kids don't understand what consequences are and will just mimic/copy what they see because they think it's normal behavior. But why is the father not sitting down with him and explaining that he shouldn't have shoved the cart and that he shouldn't have spoken to his mother the way he did, and he owes her an apology. Would he have thought the same things if he had been doing the shopping, and his son did the same thing on his watch? I wonder what would have happened if she had told the manager that the video could have been used in court as evidence, and that it could be obtained as evidence. Even if that wouldn't happen, I wonder if the manager's attitude would have changed.
The jelly jar situation…I wish she could get the security footage! I have a feeling it would show the husband was actually the one that was looking at their phone.
Thank you, Charlotte, for always raising my blood pressure in such a fun and bubbly way lol.
The twins story: It's obvious that the competition between the twins has been unhealthy for awhile. I'm surprised if this behavior just came out of nowhere. OP's husband is way out of line, but it's not OP's job to make him feel more secure. I'd be curious if his insecurity came out of the blue, or if his more adventurous twin has been needling his more conservative brother. Either way, husband needs therapy to work on his self esteem. It's up to OP if she wants to hang around for that. Whatever she does, I hope she keeps her eye on her birth control and not introduce kids into this toxicity.
I agree. I think the husband is jealous of his brother's outgoing, adventurous personality and wishes he could be more like him, which could be a reason for the competition in the first place. Then to add to it, his toxic friend and those tiktok videos are like the fuel to the fire that's already there.
I fear he is already using her, as his wife, as something to "have" against his twin. He isn't married I believe
Going through one of the hardest break ups yet today and definitely needed some Charlotte. This one specifically is helping me see ‘it could be worse’
holy cow I was triggered by the jelly jar. You were %100 right, that woman is being gas lit all the time, if she wanted to "prove" she was right by the security cameras. My ex used to do this to me all the time, I still suffer from the after math of narcissistic abuse. It is so damaging to your self esteem, your self image, and your self confidence. I feel for her and hope she gets out of that relationship.
16:37 You shouldn’t have arguments in front of your children for starters. Or involve them in it. Sounds like the kid has witnessed it enough to know how to get his way by siding with the father and working against the mother. That doesn’t work. Both parents should talk privately and then discuss how to handle the child’s behavior.
I’m not one to vote for instant divorce or breakup but the husband in the first story 100% needs to be the one that takes charge in making a solution as it was 100% HIS mistake. If he doesn’t wanna do more that empty apologies and breakfast he isn’t as sorry as he claims
This makes me so thankful I have the husband that I have. We both worked and helped each other with chores. We never nag each other or control each other. Most of his friends have toxic relationships.
To the lady married with a twin. GET A DIVORCE NOW before it's too late. This "man" will ruin your life if you let him.
💯 fckin manipulative psycho
Agreed. If she has to just "take" the mean-spirited jokes for years, but he needs "defending" against them once at one dinner... yikes. He's gonna cheat or worse, because he's so insecure and awful. Divorce!! Save yourself!!
Let me fix this, "man-child."
I really don't think is going to end well either... He got told of by almost his whole family and still kept the "alpha" behavior disrespecting her and when she told him that she was disappointed and disgusted by him NOW he is apologetic, she says she NEEDS her space and he is not respecting that either.
@@kp4911 right, so gross
13:08 If his brother is still single introduce him to me, that way the problem is solved 😂😂
The twin brother is either a geniuses or just plain diabolical either way im here for it
he grew up with the "husband" so bro knows how OP-husband thinks.
Diabolical genius😁
Same oh to be a fly on that wall
I would 100% do that with my sisters if they acted plain stupid all of a sudden. And I am (hopefully) not diabolical and we love each other dearly 😅
seems like someone copied your comment with the same grammar mistake and got more likes than you, that really sucks :/
Duuuude In-laws for the WIN on that first one. Let's GO, the gal should absolutely swap twins
Love you, Judge Charlotte!!!
words of affirmation for Char-lotte: you bring sunshine to someone's day every time your work is played, keep going... we love you! 🤎
EVERYONE SHHH MY SHOW IS ON🎀🐸☕️
Period 😂😂😂
The first one, DIVORCE your significant other if they threaten to leave you. He can look for another wife without you.
A person who truly loves you, will NEVER EVER attempt to neg you into feeling like YOU can't do better than them. They are too busy lovin you to care about whose dominant/submissive in a relationship. If your significant other puts you down in any way, they don't love you. They like the idea of you.
Perfect timing! My husband doesn’t want to stay in the marriage anymore and all I can say is: fine. Go pack your things then 🤷🏻♀️
That last story got me, because I learned that the hard way with my own dad. If it's bad enough for you to want to have a recording to back you up, it's time to run. I didn't have a support system, I tried to get recordings and had them deleted because I was "overreacting" to the situation, and I lost almost every connection I had that could help me. She needs to run, not walk, and try to make sure that man cannot influence her eldest any more than he already has.
Yes a break from my break ! Happy Sunday!
Yes-nice comments, nice things and kind words makes a marriage. My husband and I, married 32 years, study French every night. Last night, he complimented me, saying he could tell I was working hard on my French. Today, I made homemade bagels as bagels are hard to find in France and he loves them.
Ok devoted Christian here 🙄 we are definitely instructed in the Bible to honor our husband! HOWEVER..... Genesis 2:18- states that the woman's to be a "compliment" and a "helper"
Im not going to list all the scriptures but i can!! The wife and husband are a team so if the wife is being put down and weakened the husbands job is to pick her up. So in the event that the husband is the one tearing her down thats a huge issue.
This video is a classic example of false religious beliefs and behavior 👏
It’s also an example of cherry picking texts without fully understanding the context or intent! The Bible was written at a time (I won’t even get into the times and contexts of the many times it was edited for political reasons) where women did not have equal rights and were often “sold” (in a way) to their husbands by their fathers. In a good “Christian” situation this happens when a man proves to the father that he can protect, support and provide a happy life to the daughter and the father, loving his daughter is like “I believe he will treasure you and give you a good life, will you marry him?” She trusts her father and the guy doesn’t seem creepy and has also proven to be respectful to her so she agrees. She won’t inherit anything and has very few ways to make her own money so having a good husband is one of the only ways to have a good life. The husband is working very hard and doesn’t have the time or the life-training/skills to do the house work (which used to involve a lot of training and time because the devices that are so easy to use now didn’t exist). Housework used to be a full time job that required training and education and honestly, 1 person could not do it all. Also poor housework had much more serious consequences back then such as infestation and infection/disease (still happens today but only when things get really bad, not just “messy”). The Bible was trying to say, “ladies, I know you work hard and are responsible for continuing the blood line and take all the risks of child birth and often don’t truly see the work your husband is putting in (out in the field/with the animals doing things you may not understand) while he sees the fruit of your work (comes home to a clean space with good food and children) so please respect him because his job allows you to do yours”. So the context to apply to modern day is, both of you are needed to make a relationship work and you should respect the work of each other because it should be complimenting each other and allowing you to live a better life then you could alone. In all seriousness, men and women don’t play the same roles as when those verses were written. The world kept turning and times changed, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still learn from it, we just need to actually think about the intent and context of what was written a bit deeper to apply it to modern life. Also, always consider how cultural/personal bias can influence translations. Like a direct translation of many languages would only include men because in many languages words indicating a group of mixed genders used the masculine form of words. Take that context and apply cultural (unacknowledged) misogyny and the good is applied to men (when it was talking about everyone) and only things that apply to only women still apply to only women.
My step dad is like the guy from the jelly story. Would constantly convince me that I was entitled for expecting the bare minimum, like food and privacy.
Yeah as a highly educated woman … men usually respond one of these ways: a. Immediately moving on to someone else, b. tries to prove more about my topic/career that I’ve been in for like 10-15 years, c. Immediately “friend zoned” or d. Implosion because of their insecurities about their own education/intellectual levels but aims it at me as if I judge them lol
Good to know. I thought it was just me. Friends would tell me to "dumb it down" and "act more needy or mysterious" to attract them. I hated it because I kept thinking, "What is wrong with just being me?"
He makes more money than she does.
@@kp4911 That is terrible advice from your friends. Ask them why you should spend the rest of your life pretending to be someone else just because a man can't handle who you are? Ask why YOU have to be the one to pretend and not the man?
First, I've met people in my field (IT) with PhDs who were as dumb as a box of rocks in the field so a degree doesn't mean much unless one can back it up.
Second, most male presenting people won't feel insecure is you're more educated than them. My girlfriend has a master's degree, and I only have an associate's degree. My girlfriend can definitely back it up when it comes to her field (child psychology). I don't care that she's more educated than I am. Anyone who's secure in themselves won't have a problem if you're more educated than them or better than them at anything in general as long as the other person doesn't try to rub it in their face.
When they say “I love you “ Ask them’”WHAT DO YOU LOVE ABOUT ME or WHY DO YOU LOVE ME? And listen to whether it’s all about what you do for him or your strength and who you are as a person.
I agree. Always listen.
Also it shouldn't just be physical attributes.
Charlotte is so simple and cute and I absolutely love it. Drama but absolutely no drama. The tea I needed today.
2:12 that is an insane way to talk to your spouse. My husband and I are very sarcastic, but also religious and have some more traditional values in some areas, but my husband would never joke like that. Neither of us would make any kind of joke veiled in a threat of leaving one another, that's just toxic as hell.
Yeah I was taken aback by it
I had a spouse like that (the man in the jelly jar story). Getting a divorce was the best thing ever! the emotional ab*** ruined my selfesteem and it also slowly evolved into physical ab*** .... don't stay with someone like that!!
That last story: the kid saying "I can do whatever I want" is so telling. It means that this has been happening so long and so consistently that the kid has picked up on it, and knows that he can pit his parents against each other to get away with anything and do whatever he wants with no consequences
Divorce, babes, divorce
Happy Sunday, Charlotte!!❤️ I'm an identical twin. My husband knows the difference and do does hers. We are very different on the inside.
Just to clear this up: Tate and his brother were arrested for s3x with a minor and trafficking. (Among others) I will never let that go. It needs to be talked about more
The second one. I had this for over 15 years of marriage. My ex never backed me when I had to discipline my son. When I eventually divorced my ex me son, started to do things around the house that made me question my sanity. He would hide things then put them back etc.
my son and I are now on great terms but, it took many years to get here.
Oh, and, he has nothing to do with his father.
My mom told me that the will to finally leave my bio dad and not put up with the way he treated her is when a coworker asked if she would be okay with a man treating me (her daughter) that way because either my dad would treat me that way or I would grow up thinking it was okay for men to treat me the way she was treated. She was NOT okay with that and they separated/divorced when I was 2.
13:29 This! This is why marraige counceling is needed. In the heat of the moment, you think he was actively listening to her or her him? You want a third party who is partial, and will call out all the BS, and translate the misunderstandings. You have to learn to communicate well and actively listen before you can actually do it. And if you're posting online, asking for advice, guess what? you guys probably don't communicate well.
Golden rule. Treat others the way you want to be treated.
In Ancient Greek times, it was often customary for the woman to have domestic influence and the men to have external influence. That is, the woman managed the household and the farm servants and controlled the household purse. The man would be the one going out on expeditions and go to war and have the adventures that we read about. There have been examples in Greek literature where the man wanted to buy a gift for his BFF, but had to ask his wife for money and justify the expense.
In "traditional" roles, as I see it, the wife has authority over the house and takes care of the family, while the husband has authority outside the house to earn the money and bring home the bacon. There's also the saying, "Happy wife. Happy life."
I would definitely divorce over a broken jelly jar!! I would over whatever I personally felt necessary.
*Big* fan of the in-laws in the first story defending their daughter-in-law, and not simply siding with their son/s because of ‘family ties’ or what have you.
Been sick for a few days and have just been binge watching your videos. Thank you charlotte 💜💜💜
Get-well wishes!
Be careful!! I’ve had charlotte poisoning before; that’s when nothing else will do!! Only Charlotte! And feel better!
Hope you feel better soon!
In a loving relationship and, more importantly, a marriage, build each other up, not tear each other down. Communication is key because it is the number one cause of the relationship failure. Men who want their lady to clean up after them, in other words, housework, wants mommy back. It's degrading for a woman to be expected to go around and pick up after a slop and do everything else just to "please her man!" 😮
charlotteee, can I suggest some dark brown mixed in with ginger lash extensions for your wedding day? it would super lovely and natural with your hair colour. more ginger toward the inner corner, mixing the dark brown in more and more as you get to the outer😮💨
ALL RISE FOR THE HONORABLE JUDGE CHARLOTTE 🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃