If you are nice to everyone, then your niceness loses its value. It's a sign of poor judgement. If you are nice with people who deserve it, and with people who don't, then that doesn't really seem fair, does it?
Man, Asap- you people don't 'Pull any Punches' do ya'? (especially when it comes to people's Dicks)... OH! Being a Dick. Well that's different. (at first I thought it was about Scientists finishing first because they Hit below the Belt but on viewing the video I see it's about being nice so, WHEW* I'm So Relieved)
I think there also needs to be a distinction made between being a nice person and a Milhouse being nice is great.. being someone's doormat, not so much
It seems like they sort of covered that with the "tit for tat" strategy. You start out nice, but if someone takes advantage of that, you don't let them get away with it. You're definitely right, you have to be nice without being manipulable.
Sometimes the factors for finishing first in something are a lot more random. But I agree, "nice guys finish last" is a ridiculous statement, especially when applied to romantic relationships. If a woman is attracted more the jerk than the nice guy, then I think the nice guy is finishing first by avoiding that dysfunctional relationship altogether :)
+Micah Buzan I think you're rationalizing. The jerk gets laid more often, has more offspring (which he doesn't support), and the nice guy dates less often, has no kids and dies alone. Plus, the nice guy pays for the jerk's offspring thru taxes or just because the mother is good at manipulating nice guys into supporting her kids.
+Howard Wiggins Completely wrong. Let me help you with logic. Black American society is frequented by high intercourse ratios, and high abandonment rates. It leaves the Black community high in STI department, extremely high in child death rates, prison terms, substance abuse and general family dysfunction. The same follows the white families that are on the same track in this hip new age. You got one thing right, the nice guys are supporting their kids through taxes, because they are the only ones with a financially mobile family unit. I usually charge 25 dollars a minute for sessions but this ones on the house. Hope it improves your life. Bests.
+Micah Buzan Nahh this is wrong the whole nice guy mentality isn't nice. The reason why is because they are only being nice with strings attached. They are only nice to girls because they think it will get them a way into the vagina. Girls can spot this and that is why they would rather go for an honest "jerk" than a nice guy who is lying to himself and to her.
People in the comments are clearly missing the point. Being nice doesn't equal monetary or item value. It's about self value. If the people around you don't respect what you do for them, then maybe it's time to look for new friends. Problem with many people is they're nice but then they let others bully them. You have to speak up. Also if you expect something in return then you're just "playing nice", therefor you'll never be content and always feel treated unfairly. Don't expect anything in return. Be nice because you want to and it makes you happy and not because of what other people think. If being an ass makes you feel good then I guess that works too but the respect and loyalty you'll build will crumble at any sign of weakness.
Respect and loyalty will crumble? sorry, I'm not a dictator. Self value and happiness has nothing to do with money? Im sure Mark Cuban is living a really shittly life right now......That homeles guy over there is really enjoying trying to find a meal to feed his children. yeah. Nice guy=Stepped on. Plain and simple.
Time to look for new friends? what is this, 3rd grade?! No, this is the real world. If you cant step on a few shoulders, you'll never be successful(Unless your parents did it for you). Being ruthless is the #1 way Undisputedly to get to the top.
+SCMowns Apparently, you don't remember - it's not from Ryan Higa, it's from Kevin Jumba, who quit youtube to do monk-stuff :( EDIT: aaah, they both did one! :)
"Im a nice guy and I never get the chicks" Maybe thats because you're falsely equating nice with having 0 self confidence and not having any opinions of your own rather than just being caring and showing empathy
You have to balance being nice and being strong- Having respect for others but still respect for yourself. Unfortunately most _nice guys_ have very little self respect and come off as needy or weak, while some pretty mean dudes are saught after because they are "strong" and "independent." In the end people who are in the middle are the most successful. I consider myself a fairly nice person, I mean I don't go around hurting people or insulting them; but that doesn't mean I deserve any sort of reward and it certainly doesn't mean that all the girls should want me because of that.
Well that's because being nice SHOULD get you rewarded. In this cold harsh world, the bad guys are always getting away, getting all the play, and finishing first, and causing havoc when that shouldn't be happening.
+Armindo Ribeiro if you can't be a good person without getting a reward than can you please rethink your life choices (and to actually answer your stupid question you get respect and people who will want to be friends with you)
+The Original Joker Not always, since being stabbed in the back is an exception and not the norm, but of course to prevent this you must choose your friends carefully, especially close friends who you trust not to backstab you
I'm laughing at all the guys whining about how "being nice gets you friendzoned." Honestly, the friendzone doesn't exist. If you ask out a girl and she says she only thinks of you as a friend, chances are she doesn't even think of you as a friend, she just wanted to let you down gently.
***** I don't quite understand.. if I know a girl that I just like as a friend from the beginning, but then slowly starts liking her, and then asks her out and then realizes she still wants nothing more than being friends, how have I not been friendzoned?
***** Guys who get in the friendzone, doesn't want sex at the first time, you dumb. They just start to know the girl and by the time, they realize that they could have a great relationship together. Don't just get judging people around there, without knowing what you're talking about.
I think that if somebody is complaining about not getting girls, that usually (not always) means that they are selfish and impatient, making them not nice.
I don't really think that's an accurate assessment. Lots of women don't have any idea how frustrated and lost men feel about their dating life. I'm pretty sure everyone would like to be genuinely nice but it doesn't really seem like we can. Case dismissed.
+Cristian Ramirez Women do too. It just annoys me when guys get angry when a girl likes someone else. A little anger is alright, but try to be understanding?
Anyone can call themselves "nice." But if you find yourself calling women "bitches" or saying horrible shit about them, chances are you are not as nice as you think. A guy I talked with complained that he has no luck with women, and when a girl he was attracted to rejected him, he said "I hope the next guy she's with abuses her." And yet, he still believed that he was a nice guy. Sometimes a woman may have an asshole boyfriend. And that can be for a number of reasons. Maybe he's an asshole in general but nice to her, so she feels special. Maybe she's an asshole too and they're assholes to each other. Maybe he started out nice but then his true colors began to show after the relationship started, and since he wasn't always like that in her eyes, she thinks his assholery is her fault and so she stays. Or maybe the "asshole" guy is only a jerk in your eyes because he has what you want. My little brother is popular with the girls because he's nice, cool and fun to be with. But this guy in his class told other people he was an asshole.
+Toshimi1043 Yea, I don't have a GF but I admit that's because I'm a shitty human being in general. It's a miracle that I have the large friend circle I have.
Being nice and being alpha aren't mutually exclusive traits. Someone can be kind and considerate, but also confident and assertive. I've seen it. And "finishing last" in my opinion is kind of self-inflicted. Most of the time, people are aware when they are interested in someone who doesn't or won't appreciate them. I have observed and been guilty of this.
I like how even this video can't outright say that nice guys don't really finish first and has to bring in arbitrary facts about unrelated animals and then has to apply "niceness" as a broad stroke to all of humanity rather than just relationships. Both are capable of "finishing first" and both serve a purpose. Nice is not synonymous with being a pushover yes man.
and that's the problem. Most women believe that nice guys are pushovers. I know they exist, but I've rarely seen a guy let a woman walk all over them. Most women in the comments keep saying they don't want a pushover just so they can justify that they rather have guy that constantly disrespect them then a guy that wouldn't.
Really, what they proved is that nice guys finish last... in a chronological sense. In the end, they're more successful in life, but it takes more time, which is what discourages many people, such as myself from time to time, when mean people see immediate results.
"Nice guys finish last" I've only heard when a guy starts out being nice to a girl, who gets rejected, and immediately turns and starts whining and cussing at them.
i have heard that my entire life. Are you a male? Are you over 12? Sorry but nice guy finish last. This experiment means nothing in terms of wordly success.You would be hard press to find a profession where great success doesnt come from fighting your way to the top. Disagreeableness is the highest factor correlated with salary. It is just the case and it is often a sad case because they are nice to everyone. Im talking about actual nice guys, not those werid creeps. the type of guy always going out of there way and seem to have the patients of a saint. What is one to do? Idk. But if you are a kind soul, keep it up. I can say you are doing what I cant.
I like this a lot, i often here about "survival of the fittest" and "every man for himself", i like that this demonstrates the power and importance of cooperation :-)
Guys, here's the actuality. There is no completely one or the other. Sometimes, you are rewarded for being nice and other times you are not. Sometimes you're kicked in the teeth for being a good person. That's why you generally act, and should act, differently towards different people. A lot of the examples are not shows of kindness as much as they are sensible arrangements. You don't need to be "nice" to uphold your end of a deal. It just means you understand trust and long term benefit. It's a selfish, and intelligent, motivation. Some people are nice to others because that act of kindness is all they need to feel good, and that's fine too. But if you're kind because you "want something" like 99% of the comments I just saw, you're playing the wrong game and people can tell from a mile away.
If you think nice guys finish last then consider the fact that a) most girls actually do like nice guys and b) you probably aren’t as nice as you think.
of course. women like to sleep round with all dem bad boys in their early years an settle down for the "nicee guys" when they get more mature and their va gina all dried up and used
***** Proof is a mathematical concept, I'm talking about statistical data from the real world. If you don't have that then I'm afraid there's no reason to believe either way.
So I'll always play the good guy because in the long run, I'll be the champ. Huh, weird... I keep losing now because of being nice... Well, I might as well continue being nice to see if this niceness pays off according to this theory.
yeah, totally understand how you feel about being kind. You go out of your way for others yet they give back nothing in return or its rarely appreciated. I think we just gotta be the good in the world, despite how hard it is to maintain. I just wanted to say that about women because of the relationships segment of the video and I just want people to understand the nonsense of the whole friendzone victimisation and realise the reality that true attraction consists of more than just being nice.
+Natasha “SepticeyeNatasha” Merline What do you mean by Potato? Are you talking about appearance? Also if you are then I'm guessing that thumbnail is not yours if you are a potato.
*I am a nice guy, and i actually get laid. Not alot, but i do.* *The trick is to know how to be nice in the **_correct_** way, to not be percieved as whipped and clingy. You need to be nice, but confident. Girls are attracted to a guy that knows what he wants. Don't just blindly go along with whatever she is telling you, have some pride and you will see that she will respect you. And with respect, automatically comes attraction.*
IDeadBearI Never claimed them to be wrong. I just disagree with them. Doesn't necessarily mean I have proof otherwise. I personally feel that nice guys finish first in certain scenarios (e.g this video) but in other scenarios, it would be the opposite (business being one). Put a nice guy into business and he'll get eaten alive. Could also talk about the obvious relationship scenario but there's already lots of that in the comments.
As an individual being selfish can pay as a strategy. But as a part of a group or in a team being selfish will get you excluded and ultimately lead to a less than optimal strategy over the long term.
Limerence well there is no Point, People just make up meaning to get through life without their brain collapsing fully :D whats the Point of life without some Little mindfucks? ~
Interesting video and everything but the idiom "nice guys finish last" normally always implies to a single big score, rather than many multiple minor ones over a long period of time. For instance, you cheat someone out of a significant amount of money and they're the nice guy finishing last; there's no ticks to be plucked out or blood to be shared later such as in the case of the birds or vampire bats. The score is decided and life goes on, there will be very little chance for karma to ever come back and bite the person unless circumstance has them forced to come crawling back to the person they cheated. The man who swindles a thousand strangers is probably going to get further than the man who cooperates with a thousand strangers, but of course this is all varies depending on individual circumstance. Basically the general rule boils down to: Will you probably/for sure need the aid of someone in the future and will it be an ongoing dependency? Don't cheat them out of anything. Will you never need to see them again after you rip them off? I think you understand what I mean, now.
True, but if everyone was the man swindling people then no one would ever prosper because everyone would have to swindle each other and they would never prosper. If everyone cooperated then everyone would prosper and wouldn’t have to worry about being swindled.
Depends, this is in the context of repeated series of interactions. So with migratory swindlers it might not apply, but with social media today not necessarily - its not so easy as in the past to get away with grevious misdeeds. With local communities, friends, families, lovers etc. we all do a lot of repeated interactions over long periods of time, so definitely this kind of model can apply in these cases.
People who try to counter attack this topic typically have low self esteem issues and develop and arrogant personality. There is a huge difference between being nice and having integrity, as opposed to ACTING nice for good deeds thinking that the world owes them something, which the majority do. The best I can say is get over yourself, life is not a movie, and it's better when you accept to live in reality rather fantasizing about how your view of this world should be praised.
A year late but, imagine yourself as a person who has been nice to other people for years. Those people that you helped instead of feeling gratified treat you as a tool, taking your kindness for granted. How would you feel? Angry? Confused? Ashamed? Either way it's not wrong for you to think that considering how much you have helped, you should get something in return. But then again this is just my opinion.
@@sonatal it is easy to break friendship to those who you helped and it's not like they will get emotional and be sad but if they do you will just think that they are lying
You arent a nice guy if you Say you are a nice guy .You shouldnt expect compensation if your nice to a girl and if you do, then girls will sense that.Not saying this is how it Always works, but iv met plenty of'nice guys', who were only nice to get something out of me; i much prefer nice Men who are nice because thats in their nature, who dont rush things and take time to know you, and thats ideally who i want to marry. This goes to the comments section. You arent nice if your mad because we havent compensated you. You shouldnt be expecting compensation in the first place- it should be basic human politeness
Most people don’t mind killing cows and chickens but they’d probably have a hard time doing the same to chimpanzees. Partially, it’s because chimpanzees bear a slight resemblance to humans, but the primary reason is that they can draw pictures. Suppose fish were able to draw pictures. Even if we are unable to understand what they’re thinking, it becomes harder to kill animals that can draw. Instinctively, in our minds we would say to ourselves… “Maybe they have feelings” That just goes to show how high a value we assign to expression.
Not all nice guys are like that. And nice guys work harder in school and get better jobs. Do you really expect us to just work rediculously hard and not get the same selection of girls as total jerks who cant support a family because they didnt get an education enough to get a good job. As a nice guy, its very frustrating working harder but getting less girls.
I was (and am) nice as much as possible. Good friends, good times and a great first lady in my life came over time. There were tough times, but niceness leads to positivity, support and compassion. Moreover, I know that, in this shit world, I'm contributing as little as possible to the shittiness and maybe even helping to reduce the shit altogether. I might not be famous, uber successful or ridonkulously attractive, but I'm happy because I try to be nice.
Good for you :) Most people who say they are nice actually expect something in return and thinks that the world owns them something because they are nice, which isn't nice of them.
RtisticXplosions I like to believe great minds. If more people thought like this, I'm pretty sure that as a society we would be more comforted and productive.
Thank you for this .I feel so much better .I've always felt this pressure from society to be more selfish and not be the nice guy .But I never gave up as I felt deep within me that I was not doing anything wrong by being nice and polite .Great work .Spread this message .
Everyone knows most of the shit they said is fucked. Its not about being nice. Its about how others react to it. Unfortunately, most of the unforgiving 'scum of the earth' (love that song) would merely do the obvious which is take advantage of 'the fool' who attempts to take the mantle of White Knight.
tworains2 Really? Disregarding all evidence and logic over belief is thinking? I suggest you look up the definition . It's more like a single sighted & self assured, and thus a favored opinion. Now, if he was to consider all the evidence and facts on the matter, review them, and then form a subjective yet adaptable opinion.. That would be thinking. Simply put, you do not think when there is no longer thought being put towards the stance. It is also considered thoughtlessness to disregard evidence, and other points of views. How can one evolve their view, and know the topic to the extent that they should if they are actively not paying attention? A true intellectual knows that they will learn the most from those they disagree with, and also know that even the opposing side in a discussion can benefit their well roundness on a subject matter. (In this case, psychology) This is not an example of critical thinking, but of Ego. *When one becomes personally attached to an ideal, they become that idea and that is when they lose the ability to "Think for themselves".* Because their preconceived notion dominates all interaction, and thus stagnates one's personal evolution. You can always learn more about a subject matter, and one should never fear or deny the chance of being wrong. It is a great thing to be wrong, a moment of enlightenment. If anything one should strive to be proven wrong, that is how your ideals and theories are tested. (Then of course, your views eventually become fuller, more comprehensive, and refined) Anyway, people are of course free to believe what they wish, and to be frozen in their ideals and doctrines. I would just ask that you do not misuse the term thinking for praising such actions. ^^ I think perhaps Steadfast would be a more appropriate compliment.
We really needed this video. The amount of not self aware people who actually think people don’t like them because they’re nice and people only date assholes is absurd.
@@frickinfrick8488 the fact that you immediately assume a man is looking for a payout for basic human decency shows being nice is futile in a selfish gynocentric society. Basic human decency is a privilege not an expectation not everyone enjoys it. And unfortunately women always choose those who don’t have it while being comfortably unaware of that.
@@luisandrade2254 I didn’t assume that, that’s exactly what you said. You said being nice isn’t worth it because you don’t get a payout. That makes you not a nice person, it’s that simple. That’s why people don’t like you. It’s not some big societal conspiracy, it’s just not a likeable trait to see every relationship as a transaction for personal gain
Well in the video he did say long term so....but i agree its usually the assholes who get the chicks and being nice usually has its rewards in the long term. Then again who wants a chick who was already gangbanged by all the assholes she could find before finally settling for a nice guy..
4hotpink10 It doesn't matter what the username is. If you've never met a truly nice guy (who are everywhere) then you probably aren't a girl worthy of someone being nice to her... ie a bitch.
+Zetsuke4 In a computer simulation. That was the basis of Richard Dawkins' theory. There is something to this; however, there are lot's of variables that effect how this plays out in real life.
I believe that this "mean people are on top" behavior only happens in the US and the UK because here in France and in countless other country, good guys ALWAYS win! :)
Basically: the prisoner's dilemma is mostly a dilemma because it's a single round. It doesn't apply to real life because people just won't help you anymore.
Xgckl actual nice people don't expect a reward for being nice. Theyre nice bc it's their nature. But when you get people whining about how they're *nice* so why isn't the person they like interested in them, or why aren't they getting that promotion, or why aren't people taking notice of them doing *nice* things, they aren't actually nice. They're putting on a show for either attention or a reward. That is what my comment is about.
All this demonstrates is that people who finish first are those who are nice but FAIR. Generally, when people say 'Nice Guy', they're referring to someone who is a pushover, i.e. in the context of the Prisoner's Dilemma, someone who cooperates no matter what the other player does.
Sorry, but the truth is, you'll only get "friendzoned" if the girl isn't physically attracted to you. Would you date someone you didn't find attractive? Probably not.
Tommy Tucker That's also not true. What's the difference between a friendship and a relationship? Physical attraction and sexual intimacy. Girls like the personality in a relationship, but appearance is also important or else you'll just be seen as a friend.
Kelly Jarvis I don't know. I have friends I find/found more attractive than my husband who were interested but I ultimately fell in love with him. These others were great, still friends even, but I chose my husband. He didn't have a job at the time, lived with his mother, wasn't going to school, had no aspirations, was kissing 300 pounds, has patchy back hair and any number of other flaws. I love him like whoa. Been married for 6 years so far.
As a guy who's essentially been single for 4 years and longing for affection, I struggle to believe this. Yet, I know deep down I'll find someone. Sometimes I just hope I have enough time to find them. Never give up, never surrender!
Haha, I like your little battle cry at the end. I've been single for over 5 years now, man. You just realize that there are more important things in life, things that will bring you just as much joy as, sometimes even more than, a romantic relationship. Things like family, friendships, faith (if you believe), and academic and/or career accomplishments. Of course, you will never be able to experience the joy that comes with true, reciprocated eros love outside of a romantic relationship, but until such time as that comes along, I've found that the other joys in my life are quite enough. :) I hope you do, too!
Retty Varghese I've felt many of the joys which you've talked about and many more. I've achieved so much already and I know I'm on my way to rise even higher. All that said, after a certain amount of time you realize how short life is and you understand how quickly it can be cut off. If I were to die today, I'd die with regrets. This made me realize that I want to experience life to the fullest. I've never experienced reciprocated eros love before, and it's something I want at least once before I'm gone. It's not the "only" thing I want, I'm not desperate. But I feel we have to be honest about our truest desires. Once we do that, then maybe we can start living the lives we were truly meant to live. Thank you for your kind words. Little things like this keep me going strong =).
Oh I agree that we should be honest about our desires, absolutely. But, I really do wish you didn't feel that you would die with regrets. 😕 I mean, obviously everyone is at different stages in their lives, and everyone attaches a different value to various aspects of life (romantic love included), mainly because of their experiences thus far and what's really important to them. So, I understand how it would be a regretful thing for some. But, I still really wish it weren't for anyone. Just because in my ideal world, everyone would be happy and content with their lives haha. And, of course! You're absolutely welcome! The day we stop being kind to one another is the day this world is essentially doomed.
It's because they can't gather a family so spend all their time and the workplace. As well, because they have no compassion to mild out their aggressive tactics, they remorselessly use cutthroat ethics to drive out the competition.
+Squidy well being nice is just one dimension. You've also got to pair that with having self-respect, being smart, independent and vibrant. Those things don't just fall under the umbrella of being nice, they're all different things that can be major factors in attracting someone.
all these "nice guys" triggered as shit in the comments holy shit. Wasn't "not envious" in their somewhere? Sounds envious to me. Why would you even want a relationship. Super overrated.
Nice guys finish last. That's why I'll treat you trash. It's not what I really want to do, but you only date bad guys, so I'll give it my best try to, treat you the way you want me to.
Tom K I’m nice,caring ,smart and and I have a good and a bad sense of humor at the same time since I don’t know how to interact with women aside being nice
Eric Harris Im just saying that stuff depends on the situation ,and i tried to prove it through my previous comment indirectly,which after looking at it back it didnt do a good job
Jøséph Āntöñ They can be. If you're nice or funny, chances are people around you tell you you are. It doesn't automatically changes the fact that you keep being nice and funny
Redeeming qualities? When it comes to redemption, we can only apply it to morality so what else besides being a good person helping others can be redeeming? Answer thant?
No no, guys. This one's right on the money. While girls might like douchebags while their young (16-25) the "deceitful" approach works. But when the women realize that they're being cheated and get desperate (28+), the "nice guys" method seems so much more favorable. Someone to selflessly offer their shelter and provisions after 15 or so years of being ignored? Sounds perfect.
I'm 22 and have the common sense to not date a douche bag. The guy I'm with is shy and overally nice compared to a few guys I dated. It's up to certain girls to realize that the hot hunky douchey guys are not boyfriend material. Sadly even if you tell them they have to realize it themselves nice guys are really worth once you date one :)
Daniel Baker What does it matter if the person you love already have kids or not? What does it matter their age, as long as they are adults, what does it matter what they look like? You love them, and if you don't why would you be with them?
They saying is about individual success, not group success. Nice guys do finish last when climbing the corporate ladder and the like, because they generally face off against competition that goes away if they win.
The other part of the saying is anout women, and this is less about niceness in general, and more about the fact that women are naturally more attracted to aggressive, assertive men than pushovers - just like men prefer a nice body to a fat tub of lard.
I never pretended to be nice, and I was always nice. But I was also honest and a little bit prone to anger. That being said, I never drew my line in the sand or told my friends "hey, this isn't okay." I let them get away with shitting on me or just being rude, and when it came time that I could not take it anymore, they decided to wash their hands with me. (This was after they internalized a bunch of shit about me and started noticing other things after the trigger point mentioned earlier.) IF YOU DON'T DRAW YOUR LINE IN THE SAND AND LET PEOPLE KEEP DOING SHIT, YOU'RE A DOORMAT. IF YOU LET YOURSELF BE A DOORMAT AND DON'T MAKE IT CLEAR THAT IF THEY DO 'X' THIS FRIENDSHIP WON'T LAST, IT WILL KEEP HAPPENING, AND THEY WILL ONLY GET MAD AT YOU WHEN YOU FINALLY DO IT.
So AsapSCIENCE does admit asshole wins in the short run. That's the whole idea of finishing first. "Nice guys finish last" is solely about the short run.
"Nice guys finish last You're running out of gas Your sympathy will get you left behind Sometimes you're at your best When you feel the worst You feel washed up like piss gone down the drain" - Green day
This seems to be just a form of karma. In my experience and virtually everyone everywhere I've met. It doesn't work out this way. You help someone out they take the shit you gave them and flee. You ask for help everyone tells you to piss off. CEO's and virtually any truly successful person in life are not nice guys.
Exactly, many people will take advantage of he "nice guy". Being nice might work in card-game simulations, but it's different in the real world, people will find your weakness and exploit it.
let me tell you people something, because the context of the phrase "nice guys finish last" has always been inaccurate. the phrase should ACTUALLY be, "passive, non aggressive, weak (pushover) PEOPLE finish last". im not as comfortable around men as i am around women, so i spend most of my social time talking/joking/playing with women. if you want them to take you seriously, do not be a PRICK. but you can't be a pushover either. being defensive, surly, negative....these are MAJOR turnoffs for women. typically, if you see a guy being this way, and a woman actually LIKES it, it's only because(90 percent of the time) they come from a not so good background. any woman worth your time will appreciate you being nice, and most women respond positively to a nice guy then some emotional, or NON-emotional, asshole. however, if you are going to be nice, you also have to be firm. you have to have an edge about you that communicates" im a cool person, but don't FUCK with me or you'll regret it." women typically can see through bullshit because of their intuitions, so you have to come real with it as well. there is a such thing as being STRONG and NICE at the same time. women LOVE that, as long as it is legit. but being an asshole, conversely, is a sign of weakness and they will smell it on you. they won't comment on it so you don't snap on them, but they WILL see it, and unless they have some issues of their own, they will NOT tolerate it. so be NICE, men. just don't be WEAK at the same time.
Jarrell Jones Well said friend. I find being "Strong" as being confident. You need to be who you are, and be confident in it, and naturally, girls will respond to you.
denishae hutson how is my "opinion" egocentric? if you are a woman who is only attracted to males, i fail to see how you know more than i do on the subject. i have been conversing with women im interested in for YEARS, i know what im talking about. can you say the same? i doubt it. nice+strong = success.
Due to abuse when I was younger I was subconsciously attracted to "jerks". As I healed and grew, what I was attracted to DRAMATICALLY shifted. Now, nice guys are 100% my jam. Last September I married the nicest guy I've ever met, and I spoil him right back. 🥰
Nope. In retrospect, you *might* finish first. But you always *do* finish last initially. Also, AsapSCIENCE is thinking of this phrase in too linear terms when it can literally apply to many things. If being generous and passive gets other people to take advantage of you, then people who are assertive and get what they want always finish first.
All these situations only cause niceness when the nice person expects and receives something in return. That's not being genuinely nice nor is it a foundation of good character. When you take out a money aspect or survival aspect the situations completely change. So these experiments and observations don't reflect true nice qualities.
Boy, you really didn't get the point. And even without that, to better one's position and to SURVIVE are so fundamental that they can't be taken out of the equation. You know that feeling of hate when you see someone cheating or doing what is considered wrong? Or that feeling of awe when someone is doing something right? You don't have to have a philosophical debate in your mind for that, it happens instantaneously and instinctively. Hint hint, it is something ingrained in your DNA.
P.J. Weiner But that's more of a "what's good vs what's bad" kind of discussion, right? If I were to give a homeless person $100, thinking that this act of kindness will repay itself one way or another, does that make me not a good person, just because of my expectations?
***** But then every task that people do is out kindness then. Because every person does things for his or her own benefit. You're saying that working as a pizza delivery guy is a kind thing to do. You might get money in return as a benefit, but you give somebody a pizza, which makes it a kind act. That's also saying that hiring a slave to do all my work for me is a kind act as long as I give the slave some amount of money in the end. You can't just look away from the benefit as if it doesn't matter when doing something "nice". If the "nice" act requires any self benefit, no matter on what scale it is on, it is not a nice act just because someone does any amount of good, no matter on what scale
I just broke down what he said... Basically since you are a nice guy and you will be more successful, and with successful you get more money and more money means you are more attractive
Throw a little spice to the nice and you will succeed if you know what I mean haha! But seriously you have to get more personal and romantic with the partner.
TPCWorld - Top 5 Space Videos! Some people want to either keep their innocence, want to prevent someone from using them, or don't want to risk a pregnancy
Let’s be honest: “nice” is pretty much another way of saying “predictably boring”. I know that it means well, but you can only hear it so many times before it feels like an insult.
What I don't understand about the "nice guys finish last" mentality in relationships is that just because you're nice doesn't make you compatible with everyone and anyone you want. Two people can be AMAZING individuals and still not work out as a couple, because there are so many other factors besides "niceness" that determine your compatibility with your prospective partner. Do you see yourselves fitting in to one another's lifestyles? Do you both want EXACTLY the same thing out of your relationship? Do you enjoy similar enough hobbies to go on a date that you both genuinely enjoy - for no other sake than to just have fun? Is your own life OUTSIDE of the relationship fulfilling and happy enough to not need the relationship as a self-esteem crutch? Compatibility is WAY too complicated to blame the lack thereof solely on "Oh, it was because I was a pushover." No one is entitled to a relationship with anyone else. I wouldn't want to be around someone who felt entitled to me.
The reason why guys think being nice will help them find someone to be with is because women tend to throw out this garbage that they want a nice guy to be with. Women keep saying how they can't find a nice guy. The problem with that is women keep saying that BS, but these women will end up opening their legs for these DBAGS while the nice guy just gets friendzoned. So the nice guy is thinking to himself, well WTF? I thought you said you like people to treat you with respect, but you open your legs up to some guy that will cheat on you without hesitation?
MikeBNumba6 While I can relate to your frustration, please understand that the world isn't divided into friend zoned guys and douchebags. I'm willing to bet we all personally know a LOT of amazing guys/girls who are in happy relationships with other amazing guys/girls. I don't see why people believe that "douchebags get all the girls" when we have all encountered irrefutable evidence to the contrary, i.e nice guys who are also in relationships with nice girls. So, if it's true that nice guys ALSO get the girl (as can be seen just about everywhere, including the great guys we know), then can we really point at a douchebag relationship and say "This is why I'm friend zoned."?
cocoacoconuts24 No one is saying that DBAGS get all the girls. Come now. And umm know I don't know a lot of people in Amazing relationships. There are some out there, but I see more bad relationships then good. Hell, even the divorce rate is on my side saying there are bad relationships everywhere. Here's another point I like to make. Find 10 women.Ask them why they broke up with their ex? I'm pretty sure (I know for a fact because I did this myself plenty of times) those women will all call their ex DBAGS that treated them like trash. Hell I can go on just about any girl's facebook, twitter, instagram and read their post about how their ex treated them poorly.
MikeBNumba6 It sounds like we're in agreement that both healthy and unhealthy relationships exist in significant numbers; I'm simply arguing that enough healthy relationships exist that the claim "nice guys finish last" is an ultimately false assumption. As for our different experiences, it seems like you and I occupy very different social circles, and to that, I really have nothing to say. I'm not trying to invalidate yours or anyone's experience with relationships, but I also insist that nice guys DO land in great relationships. The number of bad relationships out there doesn't, and shouldn't, serve as a forecast for an individual's dating prospects. There's always hope for the nice guy - and really, that should be enough for anyone. I think I've made all the points I have to make in this discussion. I really am sorry you've witnessed so much of the bad side of relationships and not enough of the good. I do hope that my overall positive experiences with relationships - or anything I've said for that matter - counted for something in this discussion. Peace out and enjoy your weekend.
AWResistance Maybe you shouldn't put all your happiness into getting women to want you while simultaneously saying women are pieces of shit because we only want the bad guys. I'll give you a hint right now.. All the guys commenting here about the friend-zone.. Yeah. That is the opposite of what we want. And as for those women that want bad guys, they're probably shitty girlfriends too.
Women, especially young women have a tough time distinguishing between confidence and arrogance. The key is to not take the bad boys too seriously. If you make them look like they're trying to hard with confidence, women will flock to that. Nothing's guaranteed, I mean people are people, but perspective always helps.
Nice guys are like a turtle. They slowly work their way up. Been doing that for years and have seen people jump ahead and crash and burn. It sucks to move so slow but it also gives stability.
Squwoosh I disagree, it's the opposite to me. Being nice is one of the most surefire ways to be appreciated. At least in high school. I mean, REALLY nice. It helps your reputation.
A lot of people confuse 'nice' with cowardice. Being nice is making a decision which will benefit someone else, possibly even if it might inconvenience you. Making a positive decision out of fear of rejection is cowardice, and often leads to huge amounts of mental stress.
Aren't you supossed to be nice, like in general?
Like, to everyone?
Bite the dust in this world
Okay ;(
If you are nice to everyone, then your niceness loses its value. It's a sign of poor judgement. If you are nice with people who deserve it, and with people who don't, then that doesn't really seem fair, does it?
+Leonárd Csapó You should be nice to everyone does not lose any value rather its easy to judge ppl based on how they react to your kindness
+_Infected | o_O Some people give 0 fucks about common decency.
Here's a good reason to stop being such a dick all the time.
Man, Asap- you people don't 'Pull any Punches' do ya'? (especially when it comes to people's Dicks)... OH! Being a Dick. Well that's different. (at first I thought it was about Scientists finishing first because they Hit below the Belt but on viewing the video I see it's about being nice so, WHEW* I'm So Relieved)
Why is it so embarrassing when your crush knows you like them???
dicks...
Jeez asap! Don't cuss! You know better! Naughty boys!
Thief Plays MC are you saying all of this to ASAPSCIENCE or someone else
I think there also needs to be a distinction made between being a nice person and a Milhouse
being nice is great..
being someone's doormat, not so much
It seems like they sort of covered that with the "tit for tat" strategy. You start out nice, but if someone takes advantage of that, you don't let them get away with it. You're definitely right, you have to be nice without being manipulable.
Well said, Humble, well said.
Very well said Humble.
If someone treats you like a doormat, then they aren't very nice and not worth being with
Humble!!!! well said
Am I the only one bothered by the fact he didn't finish colouring her right arm? 3:44
I feel you... such an ache!
NOW IT DOES YA JERK
It reeeally bothered me
+Xx_IvyQueen_xX ur an idiot if a person was facing the opposite direction from you then there left is right for u
U dumb 7 year old
Xx_IvyQueen_xX I'm old enough to tell the difference between right arm and left arm. I clearly said her right arm. smh
Sometimes the factors for finishing first in something are a lot more random. But I agree, "nice guys finish last" is a ridiculous statement, especially when applied to romantic relationships. If a woman is attracted more the jerk than the nice guy, then I think the nice guy is finishing first by avoiding that dysfunctional relationship altogether :)
+Micah Buzan Agreed
+Micah Buzan I think you're rationalizing. The jerk gets laid more often, has more offspring (which he doesn't support), and the nice guy dates less often, has no kids and dies alone. Plus, the nice guy pays for the jerk's offspring thru taxes or just because the mother is good at manipulating nice guys into supporting her kids.
+Howard Wiggins Completely wrong. Let me help you with logic. Black American society is frequented by high intercourse ratios, and high abandonment rates. It leaves the Black community high in STI department, extremely high in child death rates, prison terms, substance abuse and general family dysfunction. The same follows the white families that are on the same track in this hip new age. You got one thing right, the nice guys are supporting their kids through taxes, because they are the only ones with a financially mobile family unit.
I usually charge 25 dollars a minute for sessions but this ones on the house. Hope it improves your life.
Bests.
+Micah Buzan Nahh this is wrong the whole nice guy mentality isn't nice. The reason why is because they are only being nice with strings attached. They are only nice to girls because they think it will get them a way into the vagina. Girls can spot this and that is why they would rather go for an honest "jerk" than a nice guy who is lying to himself and to her.
+Clayton Jay ...
People in the comments are clearly missing the point. Being nice doesn't equal monetary or item value. It's about self value. If the people around you don't respect what you do for them, then maybe it's time to look for new friends. Problem with many people is they're nice but then they let others bully them. You have to speak up. Also if you expect something in return then you're just "playing nice", therefor you'll never be content and always feel treated unfairly.
Don't expect anything in return. Be nice because you want to and it makes you happy and not because of what other people think. If being an ass makes you feel good then I guess that works too but the respect and loyalty you'll build will crumble at any sign of weakness.
Thank you!
Respect and loyalty will crumble? sorry, I'm not a dictator. Self value and happiness has nothing to do with money? Im sure Mark Cuban is living a really shittly life right now......That homeles guy over there is really enjoying trying to find a meal to feed his children. yeah. Nice guy=Stepped on. Plain and simple.
Time to look for new friends? what is this, 3rd grade?! No, this is the real world. If you cant step on a few shoulders, you'll never be successful(Unless your parents did it for you). Being ruthless is the #1 way Undisputedly to get to the top.
But all the examples from nature in the video are about materialistic value, not self value. Blood, food, tick removal service etc.
Yea I bet those bats have a real high self value from their friendly behavior lol
Am I the only one who remembers Ryan Higa's song "Nice guys"?
+SCMowns lampppssss!!
+SCMowns Apparently, you don't remember - it's not from Ryan Higa, it's from Kevin Jumba, who quit youtube to do monk-stuff :( EDIT: aaah, they both did one! :)
+SCMowns no your not :)
that immediately came to my mind
+alexanderjs11 Same
Well, there's a difference between a nice guy and a NiceGuy™
"Im a nice guy and I never get the chicks"
Maybe thats because you're falsely equating nice with having 0 self confidence and not having any opinions of your own rather than just being caring and showing empathy
Schlomo Shecklestein Thats exactly what a nice guy is
Schlomo Shecklestein And thinking because you’re somewhat nice you should get some sort of reward.
You have to balance being nice and being strong- Having respect for others but still respect for yourself.
Unfortunately most _nice guys_ have very little self respect and come off as needy or weak, while some pretty mean dudes are saught after because they are "strong" and "independent." In the end people who are in the middle are the most successful. I consider myself a fairly nice person, I mean I don't go around hurting people or insulting them; but that doesn't mean I deserve any sort of reward and it certainly doesn't mean that all the girls should want me because of that.
Oy vey!
Well that's because being nice SHOULD get you rewarded. In this cold harsh world, the bad guys are always getting away, getting all the play, and finishing first, and causing havoc when that shouldn't be happening.
How about you just be nice to... BE NICE
Sounds great, but what do I get out of it?
+Armindo Ribeiro if you can't be a good person without getting a reward than can you please rethink your life choices (and to actually answer your stupid question you get respect and people who will want to be friends with you)
Megan Gilmore Man, I fooled you without even trying... I was joking.
+Armindo Ribeiro haha
+The Original Joker Not always, since being stabbed in the back is an exception and not the norm, but of course to prevent this you must choose your friends carefully, especially close friends who you trust not to backstab you
I'm laughing at all the guys whining about how "being nice gets you friendzoned." Honestly, the friendzone doesn't exist. If you ask out a girl and she says she only thinks of you as a friend, chances are she doesn't even think of you as a friend, she just wanted to let you down gently.
Thank you
***** You're just ugly...
*****
lol it's not my fault girls aren't into creepy, entitled guys
***** I don't quite understand.. if I know a girl that I just like as a friend from the beginning, but then slowly starts liking her, and then asks her out and then realizes she still wants nothing more than being friends, how have I not been friendzoned?
***** Guys who get in the friendzone, doesn't want sex at the first time, you dumb. They just start to know the girl and by the time, they realize that they could have a great relationship together. Don't just get judging people around there, without knowing what you're talking about.
Nice guys aren't that nice if all they do is complain that they never get girls.
I think that if somebody is complaining about not getting girls, that usually (not always) means that they are selfish and impatient, making them not nice.
+Kat Brennan Patience gives better rewards after all.
I don't really think that's an accurate assessment. Lots of women don't have any idea how frustrated and lost men feel about their dating life. I'm pretty sure everyone would like to be genuinely nice but it doesn't really seem like we can. Case dismissed.
then those arent nice guys. cmon, that's common sense
+Cristian Ramirez Women do too. It just annoys me when guys get angry when a girl likes someone else. A little anger is alright, but try to be understanding?
Anyone can call themselves "nice." But if you find yourself calling women "bitches" or saying horrible shit about them, chances are you are not as nice as you think.
A guy I talked with complained that he has no luck with women, and when a girl he was attracted to rejected him, he said "I hope the next guy she's with abuses her." And yet, he still believed that he was a nice guy.
Sometimes a woman may have an asshole boyfriend. And that can be for a number of reasons. Maybe he's an asshole in general but nice to her, so she feels special. Maybe she's an asshole too and they're assholes to each other. Maybe he started out nice but then his true colors began to show after the relationship started, and since he wasn't always like that in her eyes, she thinks his assholery is her fault and so she stays.
Or maybe the "asshole" guy is only a jerk in your eyes because he has what you want. My little brother is popular with the girls because he's nice, cool and fun to be with. But this guy in his class told other people he was an asshole.
Best youtube comment ever, you said everything I wanted to say and more. :)
Niceness is only enacted for personal gain, correct. It's a rather sycophantic action at times
+Barrack Obama ?
it's all subjective. but I am definitely NOT nice, anymore.
+Toshimi1043 Yea, I don't have a GF but I admit that's because I'm a shitty human being in general. It's a miracle that I have the large friend circle I have.
Being nice and being alpha aren't mutually exclusive traits. Someone can be kind and considerate, but also confident and assertive. I've seen it. And "finishing last" in my opinion is kind of self-inflicted. Most of the time, people are aware when they are interested in someone who doesn't or won't appreciate them. I have observed and been guilty of this.
I like how even this video can't outright say that nice guys don't really finish first and has to bring in arbitrary facts about unrelated animals and then has to apply "niceness" as a broad stroke to all of humanity rather than just relationships.
Both are capable of "finishing first" and both serve a purpose. Nice is not synonymous with being a pushover yes man.
yo KMo i didnt know you were so deep!
and that's the problem. Most women believe that nice guys are pushovers. I know they exist, but I've rarely seen a guy let a woman walk all over them. Most women in the comments keep saying they don't want a pushover just so they can justify that they rather have guy that constantly disrespect them then a guy that wouldn't.
Really, what they proved is that nice guys finish last... in a chronological sense. In the end, they're more successful in life, but it takes more time, which is what discourages many people, such as myself from time to time, when mean people see immediate results.
Yup. This didn't prove anything.
MikeBNumba6 So you're saying we like mean, disrespecting people that treat us like crappie? Yep that makes so much sense
"Nice guys finish last" I've only heard when a guy starts out being nice to a girl, who gets rejected, and immediately turns and starts whining and cussing at them.
i have heard that my entire life. Are you a male? Are you over 12? Sorry but nice guy finish last. This experiment means nothing in terms of wordly success.You would be hard press to find a profession where great success doesnt come from fighting your way to the top. Disagreeableness is the highest factor correlated with salary. It is just the case and it is often a sad case because they are nice to everyone. Im talking about actual nice guys, not those werid creeps. the type of guy always going out of there way and seem to have the patients of a saint. What is one to do? Idk. But if you are a kind soul, keep it up. I can say you are doing what I cant.
I like this a lot, i often here about "survival of the fittest" and "every man for himself", i like that this demonstrates the power and importance of cooperation :-)
It's not "survival of the fittest" it's "survival of the best" and cooperation is the most efficient way of surviving that I know.
The reason why people go for survival of the fittest, is because of the fear that people have to cooperate and not get anything in return.
Xisuma. :D
Subordination was the word you were looking for not cooperation.
Hey! What're you doing here! I like your videos! :)
Guys, here's the actuality. There is no completely one or the other. Sometimes, you are rewarded for being nice and other times you are not. Sometimes you're kicked in the teeth for being a good person. That's why you generally act, and should act, differently towards different people. A lot of the examples are not shows of kindness as much as they are sensible arrangements. You don't need to be "nice" to uphold your end of a deal. It just means you understand trust and long term benefit. It's a selfish, and intelligent, motivation. Some people are nice to others because that act of kindness is all they need to feel good, and that's fine too. But if you're kind because you "want something" like 99% of the comments I just saw, you're playing the wrong game and people can tell from a mile away.
I guess my point is, nice guys and mean guys are running in different races.
If you're on #TeamNiceGuy then thumbs up this video! Nice people FTW :)
ua-cam.com/video/rr6lsTgZKAQ/v-deo.html
I can't wait to see those that argue against the math. I predict a room full of sea lions.
I'm nice (on some occasions) lol
***** Those who disagree tip their fedoras hardest.
so your saying if im nice you give me $300 but if im not youll take $10 or give me $500 so what if i kill you i will take all the money right?
Is your hair dead or alive?
If you think nice guys finish last then consider the fact that a) most girls actually do like nice guys and b) you probably aren’t as nice as you think.
Lol not in high school
@@danielmartinez1595 we are talking about mature women.
Lol nice guys don’t get laid. Like, ever. Face the truth: women like bad boys
Andr0meda False
of course. women like to sleep round with all dem bad boys in their early years an settle down for the "nicee guys" when they get more mature and their va gina all dried up and used
Nice guys finish first... in bed.
Most times, alone.
How did you get those statistics? Can I see where you got them?
LOL
Your comment and profile pic....
Drednaught I'm nice and I'm a 22 year old virgin. Is that proof enough?
***** Proof is a mathematical concept, I'm talking about statistical data from the real world. If you don't have that then I'm afraid there's no reason to believe either way.
So I'll always play the good guy because in the long run, I'll be the champ. Huh, weird... I keep losing now because of being nice... Well, I might as well continue being nice to see if this niceness pays off according to this theory.
Your picture went perfect with your comment
Don't expect to attract women for being nice, or in other words, simply being a decent human being.
Great! Good luck
yeah, totally understand how you feel about being kind. You go out of your way for others yet they give back nothing in return or its rarely appreciated. I think we just gotta be the good in the world, despite how hard it is to maintain.
I just wanted to say that about women because of the relationships segment of the video and I just want people to understand the nonsense of the whole friendzone victimisation and realise the reality that true attraction consists of more than just being nice.
With the bats and birds if there was no reciprocity they moved on . Maybe thats how you should gage it
Well...... no matter how nice you are... people will never pick a potato....
I'm a potato....
+Natasha “SepticeyeNatasha” Merline You're awesome, I like you, can we be friends?
Em Stories Absolutely :) Why not? :D Nice to meet you
Natasha Merline Nice to meet you too!
+Natasha “SepticeyeNatasha” Merline What do you mean by Potato? Are you talking about appearance? Also if you are then I'm guessing that thumbnail is not yours if you are a potato.
OspreyBravo18 I was wearing make up lol.. plus that was me facing down... you can barely see my face.. truly, i am a potato
*I am a nice guy, and i actually get laid. Not alot, but i do.* *The trick is to know how to be nice in the **_correct_** way, to not be percieved as whipped and clingy. You need to be nice, but confident. Girls are attracted to a guy that knows what he wants. Don't just blindly go along with whatever she is telling you, have some pride and you will see that she will respect you. And with respect, automatically comes attraction.*
You don't get laid just stop lying
@@joaquinkakeewaykenny3275 hahaha lol
@@joaquinkakeewaykenny3275 some people like to bullshit on yt like ancient prisma
Gucci Horsepiss bruh
@@joaquinkakeewaykenny3275 this was from 3 years ago a different time.
This might be the first video of yours that I thoroughly disagree with.
i concur
Well where is your proof then?
IDeadBearI Never claimed them to be wrong. I just disagree with them. Doesn't necessarily mean I have proof otherwise. I personally feel that nice guys finish first in certain scenarios (e.g this video) but in other scenarios, it would be the opposite (business being one). Put a nice guy into business and he'll get eaten alive. Could also talk about the obvious relationship scenario but there's already lots of that in the comments.
Ryan Evans They finish neither first or last. She either fucking likes you or she fucking doesn't. Simple as that
As an individual being selfish can pay as a strategy. But as a part of a group or in a team being selfish will get you excluded and ultimately lead to a less than optimal strategy over the long term.
Heh heh, tit for tat. I shouldn't be allowed to be an adult
I shouldn't be allowed to be a teenager
+Maxwell 251 i shouldnt be allowed to be an embryo
What's the point of growing up if u can't have a little (healthy) fun?
Limerence well there is no Point, People just make up meaning to get through life without their brain collapsing fully :D
whats the Point of life without some Little mindfucks? ~
Interesting video and everything but the idiom "nice guys finish last" normally always implies to a single big score, rather than many multiple minor ones over a long period of time. For instance, you cheat someone out of a significant amount of money and they're the nice guy finishing last; there's no ticks to be plucked out or blood to be shared later such as in the case of the birds or vampire bats. The score is decided and life goes on, there will be very little chance for karma to ever come back and bite the person unless circumstance has them forced to come crawling back to the person they cheated.
The man who swindles a thousand strangers is probably going to get further than the man who cooperates with a thousand strangers, but of course this is all varies depending on individual circumstance.
Basically the general rule boils down to: Will you probably/for sure need the aid of someone in the future and will it be an ongoing dependency? Don't cheat them out of anything. Will you never need to see them again after you rip them off? I think you understand what I mean, now.
dude.. chill, shit.
You are right. The scenario in the video doesn't really apply to real life.
Have you heard about the word of mouth? Take it into account too.
True, but if everyone was the man swindling people then no one would ever prosper because everyone would have to swindle each other and they would never prosper. If everyone cooperated then everyone would prosper and wouldn’t have to worry about being swindled.
Depends, this is in the context of repeated series of interactions. So with migratory swindlers it might not apply, but with social media today not necessarily - its not so easy as in the past to get away with grevious misdeeds. With local communities, friends, families, lovers etc. we all do a lot of repeated interactions over long periods of time, so definitely this kind of model can apply in these cases.
People who try to counter attack this topic typically have low self esteem issues and develop and arrogant personality. There is a huge difference between being nice and having integrity, as opposed to ACTING nice for good deeds thinking that the world owes them something, which the majority do. The best I can say is get over yourself, life is not a movie, and it's better when you accept to live in reality rather fantasizing about how your view of this world should be praised.
A year late but, imagine yourself as a person who has been nice to other people for years. Those people that you helped instead of feeling gratified treat you as a tool, taking your kindness for granted. How would you feel? Angry? Confused? Ashamed? Either way it's not wrong for you to think that considering how much you have helped, you should get something in return. But then again this is just my opinion.
@@sonatal that's called manipulation you should not be friend with whoever he or she is
@@sonatal it is easy to break friendship to those who you helped and it's not like they will get emotional and be sad but if they do you will just think that they are lying
@@sonatal if they are using you as a tool the more likely you gain untrust with them
AD HOMINEM
You arent a nice guy if you Say you are a nice guy .You shouldnt expect compensation if your nice to a girl and if you do, then girls will sense that.Not saying this is how it Always works, but iv met plenty of'nice guys', who were only nice to get something out of me; i much prefer nice Men who are nice because thats in their nature, who dont rush things and take time to know you, and thats ideally who i want to marry.
This goes to the comments section.
You arent nice if your mad because we havent compensated you.
You shouldnt be expecting compensation in the first place- it should be basic human politeness
Most people don’t mind killing cows and chickens but they’d probably have a hard time doing the same to chimpanzees. Partially, it’s because chimpanzees bear a slight resemblance to humans, but the primary reason is that they can draw pictures. Suppose fish were able to draw pictures. Even if we are unable to understand what they’re thinking, it becomes harder to kill animals that can draw. Instinctively, in our minds we would say to ourselves… “Maybe they have feelings” That just goes to show how high a value we assign to expression.
Not all nice guys are like that. And nice guys work harder in school and get better jobs.
Do you really expect us to just work rediculously hard and not get the same selection of girls as total jerks who cant support a family because they didnt get an education enough to get a good job.
As a nice guy, its very frustrating working harder but getting less girls.
+Billy Bob Trust me if you hit the jack pot you can have all the age appropriate virgins you want.
What if you call yourself a nice guy, but don't expect anything? I consider myself a nice guy and I'm not into dating.
GeekyEqualist "good guy"
My girlfriend makes me sleep on the couch if I finish first. :(
Well in my defense I finished in her ear. That's her penis peeve. I mean pet peeve
Dahkter Opioid Lmfaoo ear sex
I knew someone would make this joke.
You played the defect card.
You just need to finish her with your tongue
I was (and am) nice as much as possible. Good friends, good times and a great first lady in my life came over time. There were tough times, but niceness leads to positivity, support and compassion. Moreover, I know that, in this shit world, I'm contributing as little as possible to the shittiness and maybe even helping to reduce the shit altogether.
I might not be famous, uber successful or ridonkulously attractive, but I'm happy because I try to be nice.
Thank you. This is exactly my view.
xprimale Great minds or just deluded ones :D?
Good for you :) Most people who say they are nice actually expect something in return and thinks that the world owns them something because they are nice, which isn't nice of them.
Xeno That's not nice tbh, it's just a conniving way to get what you want. Kind of a douchebag move to be honest.
RtisticXplosions I like to believe great minds. If more people thought like this, I'm pretty sure that as a society we would be more comforted and productive.
Thank you for this .I feel so much better .I've always felt this pressure from society to be more selfish and not be the nice guy .But I never gave up as I felt deep within me that I was not doing anything wrong by being nice and polite .Great work .Spread this message .
same bro😁
Let me finish last
Let me be nice
🙏🏻
nah they are telling you to have some self respect. No need to be so selfless.
You guys are the best, I ALWAYS enjoy your videos and I can't wait for the book to some out!
some huehue
hueheuheuehuehuehuehuheu
Thank you so much! We are very excited for you all to see the book too! :)
Interesting video, thanks AsapSCIENCE !
Haha, I meant to come out*...xD
I'm dying to see the book! I'm pre ordering tomorrow :D!
Sisi Sb -_- the book is old.
Yea there is pretty much no amount of numbers or logic anyone can throw at me that will make me think nice guys finish first
you my friend can think for yourself good job! unlike most
Why thank you good sir\madame.
Everyone knows most of the shit they said is fucked. Its not about being nice. Its about how others react to it. Unfortunately, most of the unforgiving 'scum of the earth' (love that song) would merely do the obvious which is take advantage of 'the fool' who attempts to take the mantle of White Knight.
lmao says the brony
tworains2 Really? Disregarding all evidence and logic over belief is thinking? I suggest you look up the definition .
It's more like a single sighted & self assured, and thus a favored opinion. Now, if he was to consider all the evidence and facts on the matter, review them, and then form a subjective yet adaptable opinion.. That would be thinking.
Simply put, you do not think when there is no longer thought being put towards the stance. It is also considered thoughtlessness to disregard evidence, and other points of views. How can one evolve their view, and know the topic to the extent that they should if they are actively not paying attention? A true intellectual knows that they will learn the most from those they disagree with, and also know that even the opposing side in a discussion can benefit their well roundness on a subject matter. (In this case, psychology)
This is not an example of critical thinking, but of Ego. *When one becomes personally attached to an ideal, they become that idea and that is when they lose the ability to "Think for themselves".* Because their preconceived notion dominates all interaction, and thus stagnates one's personal evolution. You can always learn more about a subject matter, and one should never fear or deny the chance of being wrong. It is a great thing to be wrong, a moment of enlightenment. If anything one should strive to be proven wrong, that is how your ideals and theories are tested. (Then of course, your views eventually become fuller, more comprehensive, and refined)
Anyway, people are of course free to believe what they wish, and to be frozen in their ideals and doctrines. I would just ask that you do not misuse the term thinking for praising such actions. ^^ I think perhaps Steadfast would be a more appropriate compliment.
"Nice guys finish in their bathroom"
I don’t get it.
@Levente Gyimesi lol when will he or she know
Like Elvis
I mean elves literally finished in his bathroom
@@mymixedbiscuit9159 ur too young 😂 😂 😂
We really needed this video. The amount of not self aware people who actually think people don’t like them because they’re nice and people only date assholes is absurd.
That’s not lack of self awareness that is lived experience. Being nice doesn’t pay out
@@luisandrade2254 looking for a “payout” for having basic human decency proves you’re not a nice person
@@frickinfrick8488 the fact that you immediately assume a man is looking for a payout for basic human decency shows being nice is futile in a selfish gynocentric society. Basic human decency is a privilege not an expectation not everyone enjoys it. And unfortunately women always choose those who don’t have it while being comfortably unaware of that.
@@luisandrade2254 I didn’t assume that, that’s exactly what you said. You said being nice isn’t worth it because you don’t get a payout. That makes you not a nice person, it’s that simple. That’s why people don’t like you. It’s not some big societal conspiracy, it’s just not a likeable trait to see every relationship as a transaction for personal gain
sooooooo... whats the science behind every nice guy i know being single?
Do they have desirable traits aside from being "nice"?
It shows a lack of dominance and aggression which means you won't seem like a good protector/provider.
They're probably shy and not physically attractive.
Well in the video he did say long term so....but i agree its usually the assholes who get the chicks and being nice usually has its rewards in the long term. Then again who wants a chick who was already gangbanged by all the assholes she could find before finally settling for a nice guy..
Well, that attitude is without a doubt a huge part of it
basically when a guy suys he's a "nice guy" he really isn't
That's because nobody would be nice to you 4hot
azzajack I made the username when I was 13 so..
Julian Lloyd
Except if she's not.
4hotpink10 It doesn't matter what the username is. If you've never met a truly nice guy (who are everywhere) then you probably aren't a girl worthy of someone being nice to her... ie a bitch.
azzajack actually I have met nice guys and none of this matters lol just stop commenting
3:40 what happens to the girl in the blue shirts arm😢
what happened to her leg
@Dope nyan Cat oh no!
ran out of budget lol
This channel genuinely leaves me speechless haha, yous are unreal
Finish what first???
Lol, that's a good question.
+Zetsuke4 a race
+Zetsuke4 The grand race of life!.... into a girls pants.
+Zetsuke4 First I thought they meant finish first a class test, or something like that... idk
+Zetsuke4 In a computer simulation. That was the basis of Richard Dawkins' theory. There is something to this; however, there are lot's of variables that effect how this plays out in real life.
I believe that this "mean people are on top" behavior only happens in the US and the UK because here in France and in countless other country, good guys ALWAYS win! :)
Basically: the prisoner's dilemma is mostly a dilemma because it's a single round. It doesn't apply to real life because people just won't help you anymore.
"i'm a nice guy and i never (x) or (y)!"
well hey buddy guess what
*you're probably not that nice*
bingo
You know what's not nice? Assuming shit about people you don't even know.
Xgckl at least I don't pretend to be nice to trick people into liking me
Tobi Sterling
So I guess people who are nice but have bad things happen to them don't exist. Nice.
Xgckl actual nice people don't expect a reward for being nice. Theyre nice bc it's their nature. But when you get people whining about how they're *nice* so why isn't the person they like interested in them, or why aren't they getting that promotion, or why aren't people taking notice of them doing *nice* things, they aren't actually nice. They're putting on a show for either attention or a reward. That is what my comment is about.
Aww I love this! I always try to spread the "nice-ness," in hopes that others will do the same in return.
"He's such a nice guy, but... "- how many times you've herd women say that?
Outside if movies? Ummmmmmmm............
Trub1n
Exactly never. :p
+Trub1n Usually "he's nice but... / you're nice but..." is a kind way of saying "I'm not attracted to him / you".
+HelloEmma Clare (Not saying he's / you're ugly, just not genetically attractive.)
+ღBaka|Nekoღツ How many traits do *you* have to your personality?
I thought nice guys finish last because they open the door and let everyone else in first.
True
Jesus once said "First shall be last and the last shall be first".
I never even thought of that
Thanks for bringing hope for those who are really nice!
All this demonstrates is that people who finish first are those who are nice but FAIR. Generally, when people say 'Nice Guy', they're referring to someone who is a pushover, i.e. in the context of the Prisoner's Dilemma, someone who cooperates no matter what the other player does.
This is by far my favorite episode. I love you AsapScience guys ❤️
*tips fedora*
M'lady
Looking at the comments, it seems I'm the only one who actually likes being single.
Me too hahahah
Sorry, but the truth is, if you're nice to women you will get friend zoned.
Sorry, but the truth is, you'll only get "friendzoned" if the girl isn't physically attracted to you. Would you date someone you didn't find attractive? Probably not.
^ It's true, girls only care if you're rich or good looking.
Tommy Tucker That's also not true. What's the difference between a friendship and a relationship? Physical attraction and sexual intimacy. Girls like the personality in a relationship, but appearance is also important or else you'll just be seen as a friend.
Kelly Jarvis I don't know. I have friends I find/found more attractive than my husband who were interested but I ultimately fell in love with him. These others were great, still friends even, but I chose my husband. He didn't have a job at the time, lived with his mother, wasn't going to school, had no aspirations, was kissing 300 pounds, has patchy back hair and any number of other flaws. I love him like whoa. Been married for 6 years so far.
Natalie I'm glad to hear that! But I don't really know what you look like so I can't use your relationship as an example lmao.
Cooperate. (Comment "Cooperate" below me and we both win. Defect...and be left behind.)
McJuggerNuggets ...Uh?
McJuggerNuggets Cooperate???
McJuggerNuggets Kenyanism!
McJuggerNuggets Your dad should cooperate
McJuggerNuggets McJuggerNuggets! *Cooperate*
As a guy who's essentially been single for 4 years and longing for affection, I struggle to believe this. Yet, I know deep down I'll find someone. Sometimes I just hope I have enough time to find them.
Never give up, never surrender!
Haha, I like your little battle cry at the end. I've been single for over 5 years now, man. You just realize that there are more important things in life, things that will bring you just as much joy as, sometimes even more than, a romantic relationship. Things like family, friendships, faith (if you believe), and academic and/or career accomplishments. Of course, you will never be able to experience the joy that comes with true, reciprocated eros love outside of a romantic relationship, but until such time as that comes along, I've found that the other joys in my life are quite enough. :) I hope you do, too!
Retty Varghese I've felt many of the joys which you've talked about and many more. I've achieved so much already and I know I'm on my way to rise even higher.
All that said, after a certain amount of time you realize how short life is and you understand how quickly it can be cut off. If I were to die today, I'd die with regrets. This made me realize that I want to experience life to the fullest. I've never experienced reciprocated eros love before, and it's something I want at least once before I'm gone.
It's not the "only" thing I want, I'm not desperate. But I feel we have to be honest about our truest desires. Once we do that, then maybe we can start living the lives we were truly meant to live.
Thank you for your kind words. Little things like this keep me going strong =).
Oh I agree that we should be honest about our desires, absolutely. But, I really do wish you didn't feel that you would die with regrets. 😕 I mean, obviously everyone is at different stages in their lives, and everyone attaches a different value to various aspects of life (romantic love included), mainly because of their experiences thus far and what's really important to them. So, I understand how it would be a regretful thing for some. But, I still really wish it weren't for anyone. Just because in my ideal world, everyone would be happy and content with their lives haha. And, of course! You're absolutely welcome! The day we stop being kind to one another is the day this world is essentially doomed.
lol been single for 10+ years
maybe you are just ugly?
Tell that to the psychopaths who run literally every corporation ever
*successful
It's because they can't gather a family so spend all their time and the workplace. As well, because they have no compassion to mild out their aggressive tactics, they remorselessly use cutthroat ethics to drive out the competition.
*so they spend *time in
***** The one's that run corporations? They aren't.
These days the rich guys finish first
DoubleGGaming keep telling yourself that. You don’t deserve to have a girlfriend
What!?😂😂
Honestly you’re not lying.
I'm a nice guy, but when it comes to women, I finish last..... if you know what I mean. ;D
***** You missed the point of my comment. :3
+Squidy The right type of nice ;D
+Squidy well being nice is just one dimension. You've also got to pair that with having self-respect, being smart, independent and vibrant. Those things don't just fall under the umbrella of being nice, they're all different things that can be major factors in attracting someone.
***** You didn't get it. :(
+Squidy I like how some are getting it and some let it sail over their heads XD
all these "nice guys" triggered as shit in the comments holy shit. Wasn't "not envious" in their somewhere? Sounds envious to me. Why would you even want a relationship. Super overrated.
Nice guys finish last
You're running out of gas
Your sympathy will get you left behind
Anyone get the reference?
No
GREEN DAYYYYY
5 pounds of unsalted meat?
Nice guys finish last. That's why I'll treat you trash. It's not what I really want to do, but you only date bad guys, so I'll give it my best try to, treat you the way you want me to.
Ohhh nice guys finish last
When your the outcast
Don't pat yourself on the back
You might break your spine
Be nice to those who are nice to you and be mean to those who are mean to you.
Nice guys finish last
That's why I'll
Treat you like
Trash it's not
What I really
Want to do
Ryan Higa!
And you only date bad guys so
I'll give it my best try to
Treat you the way you want me too
I never open a door,
Or pull out a chair,
You can tell me how your day was but I don't really care.
Wooahhh you ain't sittin up front
Front is for the homies you can sit in the trunk
I'll never answer my phone
Whenever you call it
And when the waiter brings the bill
I never reach for my wallet
Nice guys dont finish first... they finish last.
Bad guys get FINISHED OFF first
nice one
Gilian Rüsterholz
Nice!
Jeremiah Cho not ture
If you’re a “nice guy” trying to get finish off first. You’re not a nice guy, it’s obvious that charade will shed over time. Stop acting.
The issue with self proclaim 'Nice guys' they have no other redeeming features aside from being 'nice'
Tom K I’m nice,caring ,smart and and I have a good and a bad sense of humor at the same time since I don’t know how to interact with women aside being nice
Eric Harris Im just saying that stuff depends on the situation ,and i tried to prove it through my previous comment indirectly,which after looking at it back it didnt do a good job
Jøséph Āntöñ They can be. If you're nice or funny, chances are people around you tell you you are. It doesn't automatically changes the fact that you keep being nice and funny
Redeeming qualities? When it comes to redemption, we can only apply it to morality so what else besides being a good person helping others can be redeeming? Answer thant?
I’m very nice but also described as being fun and attractive. I’m also not needy (anymore) used to be a simp.
No no, guys. This one's right on the money. While girls might like douchebags while their young (16-25) the "deceitful" approach works. But when the women realize that they're being cheated and get desperate (28+), the "nice guys" method seems so much more favorable. Someone to selflessly offer their shelter and provisions after 15 or so years of being ignored? Sounds perfect.
I'm 22 and have the common sense to not date a douche bag. The guy I'm with is shy and overally nice compared to a few guys I dated. It's up to certain girls to realize that the hot hunky douchey guys are not boyfriend material. Sadly even if you tell them they have to realize it themselves nice guys are really worth once you date one :)
I have a girl I really like btw im nice but she treats me like crap I hope she realize what she did was wrong :/
Daniel Baker
What does it matter if the person you love already have kids or not? What does it matter their age, as long as they are adults, what does it matter what they look like? You love them, and if you don't why would you be with them?
Daniel Baker
Afraid to be called out on your bullshit? Whatever, that's fine.
TriplePuke 3000
How does she treat you like crap? More importantly does she know the way she treats you hurts you?
"I owe you a favor" really makes sense now
They saying is about individual success, not group success. Nice guys do finish last when climbing the corporate ladder and the like, because they generally face off against competition that goes away if they win.
The other part of the saying is anout women, and this is less about niceness in general, and more about the fact that women are naturally more attracted to aggressive, assertive men than pushovers - just like men prefer a nice body to a fat tub of lard.
One can be nice without being a pushover.
Mark Bollinger Sure, but pushovers tend to conflate the two qualities.
I never pretended to be nice, and I was always nice. But I was also honest and a little bit prone to anger. That being said, I never drew my line in the sand or told my friends "hey, this isn't okay." I let them get away with shitting on me or just being rude, and when it came time that I could not take it anymore, they decided to wash their hands with me. (This was after they internalized a bunch of shit about me and started noticing other things after the trigger point mentioned earlier.)
IF YOU DON'T DRAW YOUR LINE IN THE SAND AND LET PEOPLE KEEP DOING SHIT, YOU'RE A DOORMAT. IF YOU LET YOURSELF BE A DOORMAT AND DON'T MAKE IT CLEAR THAT IF THEY DO 'X' THIS FRIENDSHIP WON'T LAST, IT WILL KEEP HAPPENING, AND THEY WILL ONLY GET MAD AT YOU WHEN YOU FINALLY DO IT.
And that's how you fall into friend zone.
+Mitch™ OreBay Str8 up
This was nice guys! (Excuse the pun :3)
Awesome! Have you heard the good news of Jesus Christ?
Of course, Christ is what I live for
Michelle, I wanha give you a hug!
hahaha, nice one!
I love drugs
So AsapSCIENCE does admit asshole wins in the short run. That's the whole idea of finishing first. "Nice guys finish last" is solely about the short run.
This makes me feel hopeful This is my favourite video
"Nice guys finish last
You're running out of gas
Your sympathy will get you left behind
Sometimes you're at your best
When you feel the worst
You feel washed up like piss gone down the drain" - Green day
Of course nice guys don't finish first. They wait for the lady to finish first.
I used to, but people used the 'ladies first' term to never give me a turn in anything, so now I don't care who finishes
This seems to be just a form of karma. In my experience and virtually everyone everywhere I've met. It doesn't work out this way. You help someone out they take the shit you gave them and flee. You ask for help everyone tells you to piss off. CEO's and virtually any truly successful person in life are not nice guys.
Exactly, many people will take advantage of he "nice guy". Being nice might work in card-game simulations, but it's different in the real world, people will find your weakness and exploit it.
same here bro. i sometimes wonder why im nice to people if i know that they'll let me down.. guess i hope they wont
"Treat others the way you want to be treated". It's as simple as that.
let me tell you people something, because the context of the phrase "nice guys finish last" has always been inaccurate. the phrase should ACTUALLY be, "passive, non aggressive, weak (pushover) PEOPLE finish last". im not as comfortable around men as i am around women, so i spend most of my social time talking/joking/playing with women. if you want them to take you seriously, do not be a PRICK. but you can't be a pushover either. being defensive, surly, negative....these are MAJOR turnoffs for women. typically, if you see a guy being this way, and a woman actually LIKES it, it's only because(90 percent of the time) they come from a not so good background. any woman worth your time will appreciate you being nice, and most women respond positively to a nice guy then some emotional, or NON-emotional, asshole. however, if you are going to be nice, you also have to be firm. you have to have an edge about you that communicates" im a cool person, but don't FUCK with me or you'll regret it." women typically can see through bullshit because of their intuitions, so you have to come real with it as well. there is a such thing as being STRONG and NICE at the same time. women LOVE that, as long as it is legit. but being an asshole, conversely, is a sign of weakness and they will smell it on you. they won't comment on it so you don't snap on them, but they WILL see it, and unless they have some issues of their own, they will NOT tolerate it. so be NICE, men. just don't be WEAK at the same time.
Jarrell Jones Well said friend. I find being "Strong" as being confident. You need to be who you are, and be confident in it, and naturally, girls will respond to you.
no just no, this is more like a egocentric opinion...
denishae hutson
how is my "opinion" egocentric? if you are a woman who is only attracted to males, i fail to see how you know more than i do on the subject. i have been conversing with women im interested in for YEARS, i know what im talking about. can you say the same? i doubt it. nice+strong = success.
denishae hutson
and if you're a guy, no offense, but if you think what i said is just an "egocentric opinion", you need more experience with women.
Joshua Olesen
exactly.
People who complain that nice guys finish last probably aren’t that nice to begin with
3:41 he forgot to draw the arm...
LOL
+Taikebo Nevets Nice catch.
Due to abuse when I was younger I was subconsciously attracted to "jerks". As I healed and grew, what I was attracted to DRAMATICALLY shifted. Now, nice guys are 100% my jam. Last September I married the nicest guy I've ever met, and I spoil him right back. 🥰
Step right up, gents, a clean up her bad decisions!
Nope. In retrospect, you *might* finish first. But you always *do* finish last initially. Also, AsapSCIENCE is thinking of this phrase in too linear terms when it can literally apply to many things.
If being generous and passive gets other people to take advantage of you, then people who are assertive and get what they want always finish first.
When your nicer, believe me, more people like you when your kind 😊
That's not something to be proud of , if many people like you then there's absolutely a problem with you
@@ammarkhelifi509 how
@@ammarkhelifi509 nah just... nah
@@olilondonisabum7170 easy. if you are doing anything worth doing in life you will make enemies.
All these situations only cause niceness when the nice person expects and receives something in return. That's not being genuinely nice nor is it a foundation of good character. When you take out a money aspect or survival aspect the situations completely change. So these experiments and observations don't reflect true nice qualities.
Correct. He defines nice in a very specific, almost metaphorical, scientific way in his book as a label for a certain type of behavior or strategy.
Boy, you really didn't get the point. And even without that, to better one's position and to SURVIVE are so fundamental that they can't be taken out of the equation. You know that feeling of hate when you see someone cheating or doing what is considered wrong? Or that feeling of awe when someone is doing something right? You don't have to have a philosophical debate in your mind for that, it happens instantaneously and instinctively. Hint hint, it is something ingrained in your DNA.
P.J. Weiner But that's more of a "what's good vs what's bad" kind of discussion, right? If I were to give a homeless person $100, thinking that this act of kindness will repay itself one way or another, does that make me not a good person, just because of my expectations?
***** But then every task that people do is out kindness then. Because every person does things for his or her own benefit. You're saying that working as a pizza delivery guy is a kind thing to do. You might get money in return as a benefit, but you give somebody a pizza, which makes it a kind act. That's also saying that hiring a slave to do all my work for me is a kind act as long as I give the slave some amount of money in the end. You can't just look away from the benefit as if it doesn't matter when doing something "nice". If the "nice" act requires any self benefit, no matter on what scale it is on, it is not a nice act just because someone does any amount of good, no matter on what scale
Basically, the old proverb, treat others how you want to be treated.
Two types of nice guys the
nice + confident and the
nice + creepy/clingy
I just broke down what he said... Basically since you are a nice guy and you will be more successful, and with successful you get more money and more money means you are more attractive
Be a nice guy and prepare to friend zoned.
if you think so...
Why don't you choose people who choose you.
Throw a little spice to the nice and you will succeed if you know what I mean haha! But seriously you have to get more personal and romantic with the partner.
there is no friend zone, only ppl who like someone else, ur their friend thats it.
TPCWorld - Top 5 Space Videos! Some people want to either keep their innocence, want to prevent someone from using them, or don't want to risk a pregnancy
i think the general concept of a nice guy is someone who gives more than he receives and thats where the problem starts
Did AsapScience just declare war on Incels?
Let’s be honest: “nice” is pretty much another way of saying “predictably boring”. I know that it means well, but you can only hear it so many times before it feels like an insult.
What I don't understand about the "nice guys finish last" mentality in relationships is that just because you're nice doesn't make you compatible with everyone and anyone you want. Two people can be AMAZING individuals and still not work out as a couple, because there are so many other factors besides "niceness" that determine your compatibility with your prospective partner. Do you see yourselves fitting in to one another's lifestyles? Do you both want EXACTLY the same thing out of your relationship? Do you enjoy similar enough hobbies to go on a date that you both genuinely enjoy - for no other sake than to just have fun? Is your own life OUTSIDE of the relationship fulfilling and happy enough to not need the relationship as a self-esteem crutch?
Compatibility is WAY too complicated to blame the lack thereof solely on "Oh, it was because I was a pushover." No one is entitled to a relationship with anyone else. I wouldn't want to be around someone who felt entitled to me.
The reason why guys think being nice will help them find someone to be with is because women tend to throw out this garbage that they want a nice guy to be with. Women keep saying how they can't find a nice guy. The problem with that is women keep saying that BS, but these women will end up opening their legs for these DBAGS while the nice guy just gets friendzoned. So the nice guy is thinking to himself, well WTF? I thought you said you like people to treat you with respect, but you open your legs up to some guy that will cheat on you without hesitation?
MikeBNumba6 While I can relate to your frustration, please understand that the world isn't divided into friend zoned guys and douchebags. I'm willing to bet we all personally know a LOT of amazing guys/girls who are in happy relationships with other amazing guys/girls. I don't see why people believe that "douchebags get all the girls" when we have all encountered irrefutable evidence to the contrary, i.e nice guys who are also in relationships with nice girls. So, if it's true that nice guys ALSO get the girl (as can be seen just about everywhere, including the great guys we know), then can we really point at a douchebag relationship and say "This is why I'm friend zoned."?
cocoacoconuts24 No one is saying that DBAGS get all the girls. Come now. And umm know I don't know a lot of people in Amazing relationships. There are some out there, but I see more bad relationships then good. Hell, even the divorce rate is on my side saying there are bad relationships everywhere. Here's another point I like to make. Find 10 women.Ask them why they broke up with their ex? I'm pretty sure (I know for a fact because I did this myself plenty of times) those women will all call their ex DBAGS that treated them like trash. Hell I can go on just about any girl's facebook, twitter, instagram and read their post about how their ex treated them poorly.
MikeBNumba6 It sounds like we're in agreement that both healthy and unhealthy relationships exist in significant numbers; I'm simply arguing that enough healthy relationships exist that the claim "nice guys finish last" is an ultimately false assumption. As for our different experiences, it seems like you and I occupy very different social circles, and to that, I really have nothing to say. I'm not trying to invalidate yours or anyone's experience with relationships, but I also insist that nice guys DO land in great relationships. The number of bad relationships out there doesn't, and shouldn't, serve as a forecast for an individual's dating prospects. There's always hope for the nice guy - and really, that should be enough for anyone.
I think I've made all the points I have to make in this discussion. I really am sorry you've witnessed so much of the bad side of relationships and not enough of the good. I do hope that my overall positive experiences with relationships - or anything I've said for that matter - counted for something in this discussion. Peace out and enjoy your weekend.
***** just be careful so you don't get arrested lol.
This is the nicest and productive video I've watched today 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
When i first saw the title i thought of something else... 😳
And yet she's still riding the bad boy? explain.
Nathan Flasher Or i get beaten up and no girl on top of that.
Nathan Flasher I'm liking this plan :)
AWResistance
Maybe you shouldn't put all your happiness into getting women to want you while simultaneously saying women are pieces of shit because we only want the bad guys. I'll give you a hint right now.. All the guys commenting here about the friend-zone.. Yeah. That is the opposite of what we want. And as for those women that want bad guys, they're probably shitty girlfriends too.
Women, especially young women have a tough time distinguishing between confidence and arrogance. The key is to not take the bad boys too seriously. If you make them look like they're trying to hard with confidence, women will flock to that. Nothing's guaranteed, I mean people are people, but perspective always helps.
AWResistance if you want to control who women "ride" then you're not a nice guy.
I finally know why I finished all my tests now
Nice guys are like a turtle. They slowly work their way up. Been doing that for years and have seen people jump ahead and crash and burn. It sucks to move so slow but it also gives stability.
It´s clear. Allways be genuinely nice FIRST, if they don´t reciprocate, very politely tell them to GTFO
Oh the ol' draw them closer with the left hand & smack them with the right! eh?
Nice guys finish last
You're running out of gas
Dutchem i like the reference there sir. well done :)
***** I highly doubt NOT being nice wil get you left behind.
there's no appreciation for nice people in this world...
Bob Dylan if you think that you're not actually being nice.
Nintendo Nathan ok so if I see a nice person getting treated like crap I’m not a nice person? Cool
Squwoosh I disagree, it's the opposite to me. Being nice is one of the most surefire ways to be appreciated. At least in high school. I mean, REALLY nice. It helps your reputation.
A lot of people confuse 'nice' with cowardice. Being nice is making a decision which will benefit someone else, possibly even if it might inconvenience you. Making a positive decision out of fear of rejection is cowardice, and often leads to huge amounts of mental stress.