Please like + comment with any mindset tips that YOU love that I might have missed. Thanks to BetterHelp for sponsoring this video and get 10% off your first month with this special link: betterhelp.com/atozenlife
I'm making huge progress... my father died years ago but he died so suddenly that i never dealt with it. This past week I framed a drawing he made and they had to cute the edges off.... the clerk asked if I wanted the scrap paper and I was able to say No. My dad isn't in a scrap of paper. He isn't in the drawing either but I want to keep that😂
I just found you videos today 6/2/23 and have a question. What do you do with all those birthday, congratulations, xmas cards you get from family and friends? I just moved into a new home and YES major decluttering. However, I have been doing this for years and did the KonMari method and now you add more to my declutter and organizing.
“I can like something without needing to own it” is so POWERFUL! This has totally changed my mindset and now I can enjoy something without it needing to come home with me!
I really like Pinterest for that reason. It enables me to keep and appreciate beautiful things, but just an electronic version of them that doesn't use up space.
I love this too. Never thought about it this way. If I like something I get the urge to just buy it… But I can appreciate it in the store, the next day if I haven’t forgotten I can always go back.
When my daughter was little, and we had no money we treated stores as museums, not places where we were going to take stuff home with us from, but to get ideas and to figure out how to make things.
I laughed at the nail polish comment. My granddaughter and I sat outside and painted rocks using up all those crazy nail polishes I bought. She arranged the rocks in my gardens and we took some to the park for others to find.😃
Nr 4: I recently found out about "Cluttercore". A lot of people seem to think it's the opposite of minimalism, but I feel like they actually complement each other. Because (if I understood it correctly) while in minimalism you get rid of all the things you *don't * like or need, Cluttercore highlights all the stuff that you *do* like and use. Instead of hiding it in boxes and drawers you can display all the items that "bring you joy". Ofc not everybody likes that "cluttered" aesthetic, but that design idea helped me reconsider how I think about decluttering too :) Nr 5: Treat shops like museums.
Your point about "It's possible to enjoy things without needing to own them" is great. I like my stuff but have embraced the concept that Pinterest boards don't need to be dusted.
Sometimes the things I've been given by someone who didn't have a use for them have been useful for me. However, some of my clutter was originally someone else's clutter. They pressured me to accept the stuff because throwing it away made them feel guilty. Then I got stuck with the guilt. So please don't pressure people to take your stuff. Make sure that they really want it.
You are so right about decluttering alone not being enough. You can be minimal as heck, but if you leave dirty dishes out and don’t have a system for putting things back, everything is still going to look cluttered.
Really great perspective. I don't think minimalism is achievable for me but I am making progress. One thing I've realized is that every item you like doesn't have to be the start of a collection. I recently acquired a beautiful, hand painted Bristol vase. My first thought was that I need to find more and start a collection. But then I took a breath and realized that to add more would distract from the vase I like so much. Thank you for all you do!😊
I was an antique dealer, & after 15 years, decided I did not want to deal with the majority of customers acting as though their world would totally collapse, if they did not own a specific piece. I had a couple of favorite pieces that I thought I would possibly never part with, but since my aim is to get to a manageable 300 sq ft or less… I have no desire to keep any of it.
My MIL must have visited your shop often…😏 We have been clearing out her house for several years now. Goodness, she seemed to have kept all local and regional antique shops in business…..
I appreciate your videos, not only because you have walked the walk, but also because of how much you reflect and take responsibility for your own mental health. Very inspirational!
This is so good, Marisa. I'm particularly stuck on boxes of sentimental stuff from my parents, who have both died over the past 7 years. Getting rid of things like their clothing & furniture (mostly via donating) was not much of a problem. But the sentimental stuff--from their high school yearbooks to photos from their youth & early marriage (memories that don't involve me i.e. pre-date me) to figurines & plaques I remember them displaying for decades in their home of 50+ years--is a whole different thing. Several times I've opened the tote bins & closed them again, due to the overwhelm after picking up a few items. Especially if they bring back memories. You're an inspiration since you've been through this yourself. Keep doing what you're doing--it makes a real difference for those of us who are struggling & would like to get to where you are.
First, I’m so sorry for your loss; I know it’s very difficult. If I may offer a bit of unsolicited advice, get away from the totes/items & make a list of anything (broad categories) that you might find in them, just as you have here. Title it “If I find….I will…” Having this detachment from the physical items while making these decisions will give you the chance to think more rationally about the items & what to do with them. Also, it will help you to more realistically consider what & how many of these things you may wish to keep. Maybe you decide to have just 1 box of the most important pieces that truly reflect their lives. And/Or 1 shelf in your home with a few key reminders of them. Most importantly, take your time & be kind to yourself through the process😊
Thank you for this insighful video! ❤ I am a sociologist and cannot help bringing a social (and a bit historical) perspective to our relationship with physical objects. I can see in my parents, who grew up in the 50s and 60s in Eastern Europe, that they still have the "scarcity mindset" that they learnt as a child from their parents: a mindset that all objects may be useful and do not get rid of anything. I think this was a legit way of thinking in the 1st half of the 20th century and before. Then consumerism hit and my parents can afford buying much more stuff, but they still never part with anything. They have a mindset that belongs to the past but live in a very different culture and economy.
"you can like something without needing to own it" is probably the remarkable line for me. Just like you, I've been purchasing nail polish that i think it'll be nice for my nails. But while i was applying it on to my nails, i realized that i'm not good at it and made me buy a nail polish remover until it became a cycle. These days, I decided to discard all my nail polish and to only have a nail cutter to make my nails clean and I can say that it's actually the best decision i've made.
Same here! And when I realized nail polish has to be disposed of as a hazardous waste that was the end of nail polish for me. I occasionally get tempted to buy it but haven’t in over a decade now.
"everything you ever wanted is on the other side of fear"......"old ways won't open new doors"......"I can like something with out having to own it"......love the illustration about nail polish!!!....what a beautiful video, with such practical wisdom!!!....
I like the aspect of "You don't need to own every thing that you love"! A few years ago, I began saving photos of the stuff I liked on my pc (either a screenshot or a photo of a thing in a store). For example, there are more fantastic dresses in this world than I can ever wear and every day there are more! So I can keep them as a picture and look at them whenever I want. Also great for clothes/things that you love but don't fit in your life or aren't your style. Bonus: If one day I don't like them anymore, they are super easy to declutter :)
This is such a good topic! My main source of clutter is twofold: so many things from the childhoods of my three children and random things I’ve bought to “make my life better” which have become things I never got around to using and thus have become stored away clutter. I have begun making a memory bin for each child and that helps me decide what is worthy to go in the bin. For my things; I am trying to look at my home in a broad sense of making it functional and efficient. This is mindset shift is really helping. Instead of cherishing each item I pick up, I look at the entire space, picture how I want it to function, then I realize that only certain things can stay to achieve that goal. Some things I box up to see if I can bring them back in but often times I realize I am ready to let a lot of it go. Some people naturally do this, but I have to make a conscious effort or I’ll keep everything because I do have lots of cool stuff. It’s just not serving me anymore.
The story that I recently changed about myself is that I can't lose weight because of my age. I recently lost nearly 2kg in as many weeks after learning from a podcast how to become fat adapted. Now I KNOW that I can I've shifted my mindset to say I CAN lose weight. I know this is not related to decluttering or minimalism but I wanted to share that what we believe are not facts, just thoughts which can be changed.
It's a podcast by a lady called Clair MacKenzie here in the UK 🇬🇧 it's called Lose weight, live life. She's a mindset and life coach, she's brilliant! I've learned so much from her.
I love that mentioned “matter & energy” and how that translates to owning items and having to take care of them. That’s a great perspective and a good analogy!
Thank you so much for this video. My husband and I live in a small apartment and have a loooot of unnecessary stuff. I realized just recently why we live in such a mess - we think that these things can be turned into something useful, like "oh, this fabric is so nice, I can sew scrunchies, bows for my daughter" The truth is that it never happens. I noticed that I can only create something in a neat and clean environment, when I can see all my yarn, paper and other stuff. If you still haven't made anything from this empty bottle after 5 years of keeping it, it probably won't happen in the next 5 years either.
Me: I can’t figure out what is wrong with me but I know something is wrong with me! Husband: the only thing wrong is that you think there is something wrong with you. ❤
#4…After years of having a hard time decluttering sentimental items I accidentally discovered a method that helps me at least with decorative objects. I had a table split in two sections. One was filled with the pretty stuff I really wanted to keep and the other was full of vases, lamps, figurines I could not let go yet, felt guilty about giving them away, etc. As I am not very fast at making progress anyway I let it sit there for a week, facing it from my couch every evening. I could physically feel how my stomach cramped while looking at some stuff that was unbelievably ugly. 😳 Looked at the pretty stuff again, feeling great. Doublecheck with the ugly stuff, stomach cramps. And after a week I was finally sure what to do. The guilty feeling made way for my clear thinking. 🙂
That's similar to something I recently started doing. If there's an item I struggle to give away, I set it in my den where I usually spend most of my waking hours. This forces me to see the item all day, day in, day out, until I make a decision. It was SURPRISING how quickly I got sick of looking at certain objects! It made the "goodbye" decision much easier.
@@iceblueaquamarina7389 There's often joy but then I discover it's short-lived. It's the initial spark when I see something that's been packed away or has been in the dark reaches of a cupboard that makes me want to keep it. Living with it day to day is the reality check I need. I come from a long line of packrats and have had to develop all sorts of ways to combat the ingrained "But That's a Perfectly Good (blank), I Should Keep It" mindset.
Don’t be too upset and too hard on yourself. Any progress is still progress. 🙂 My parents were kids during the war and they had literally nothing, not even enough to eat but bread and vegetables in the garden. My dad’s parents were even bombed out and they fled with nothing to a safer place. They hoarded stuff until their 80s, bought everything double, kept tons of food in the cellar. Bought new stuff but saved the broken stuff as well. I grew up with their mentality that everything has a worth. I’ve been struggling for decades to get rid of stuff..and now their stuff, too. Videos on decluttering have helped me alot to understand how to break the cycle and get me motivated. Whenever I feel I have a backlash I binge-watch declutter videos. That helps me alot. 🙂
Hi Marissa. Thank you so much for sharing your minimalism and emotionally vulnerable decluttering journey. You are truly an inspiration. Now for just an aesthetic comment: your videos with your colors of clothing (natural fibers, muted tones) AND the sage green curtains behind you make a FABULOUS backdrop that accentuate/flatter your beautiful eyes, healthy skin and hair. Just one more area you are inspiring!! I truly believe that the serenity you have achieved through your life choices and family's journey right now have contributed to your health, well-being and beauty as a person--inside and out. Thanks again for the continuing inspiration.
My mindset of the last 25 years has been "the less stuff you own the better when you have to pack up stuff and travel". I've lived in many places and I really enjoy travelling light. It was a work in progress initially, my first moves abroad were quite a nightmare as I wasn't good at picking only the things I really needed and not ALL I liked and often ended up with extra baggage and extra fees to pay for stuff I didn't even use eventually. Now I own so little that I can fit everything in a suitcase and a backpack, and that makes me so happy 😊 it gives me a powerful sense of freedom and awareness that I can go anywhere and won't miss anything left behind.
On Clean Sweep, an old decluttering show, the host told the client (about a painting from their late mother), "This painting is not your mother, and it is not your mother's love for you." It is so obvious, but until he said it, the painting was an absolute obstacle.
Thanks You for all your videos my husband and i just packed up our moving pod and shipped it out and we are leaving so much behind. the neighbors that where helping us were the ones trying to get us to take everything and were confused when we said we don't want to pack that. i told them everything we are leaving behind is replaceable if we are actually going to use it we are going to a big city so i am not worried about finding what we need there. i know after the move we still will be decluttering since the neighbors did put more stuff in boxes then what we wanted, also where we are moving to is where my husband used to live and all of his stuff that he couldn't take with us to my old place was left there so we will be going through his stuff soon
i find that Absolute Language is a powerful tool. I am a very "black and white" thinker. I love the concept of duality. "everything on a spectrum" means that it's neither one or the other, and that does not move to achievement. For example: If i asked my kid "Did you clean your room?" and she would say "Almost."...I would STOP her and say "Things are either done, or undone. Clear language is a key to communication. If it's not done, say NO and set a deadline, like "No, dad, I will have it done by 4." Living in "the gray" invites mushy language, fence sitting, and "weasel words". This 'gray language" is how politicians, weathermen, and even your boss....lie to you. Clear home, clear spaces and CLEAR language. I prefer to use Absolute Language be a way to both motivate me, as well as to maintain simple, positive communication WHEN this old hermit has to deal with people. Your videos are great, and I picked up a few things from you while I help others declutter and change life and mind habits to success.
Thank you for this. I lost my dad two years ago and I haven’t been able to give stuff away that he gave me. Now I know that he is not the object and I have all the memories ❤
I just found your channel today! It came into my life at the perfect time 🥰 Your videos have an ~older sister~ energy that is really comforting (I'm an only child! 😅)
Have had a problem that has made made me declutter like a mad thing! I am so glad and intend to keep on! May not be able to do anything about the problem yet but intend to keep on with the decluttering! Maybe the problem will fix itself while I am doing something useful! I am amazed at how much a person ME can amass! I now only go shopping once a week for food praises be!
I know your house must get messy and crazy at times, but I just love the way it looks all tidied up. I like the color palette and the gentle, calm feel of it.
I love the point with the nail polish! (Most of them went to waste almost or totally full.) That’s so me! I just bought new ones. You opened my eyes! Thank you.
Thank you for your video, I Iove your videos! This video has given me a real insight into my own simplifying journey and food for thought! Thank you! ❤
I live in the mantra “I can like something without having to own it” Which has been my biggest struggle, but I’m making so much progress! I wanted the new Little Mermaid spirit jersey because it’s so beautiful, but I definitely don’t need it and there’s so many other things I can do with the money that are more important right now 🤗 Thank you for everything Marissa! I love watching every Sunday! 💕💕
I hv a lot of craft items which i hv been collecting and hoarding. I stopped buying but the items i bought are taking space. You gave me the strength to let go of most of it except the things i really love
Very interesting observations about the universal laws of matter and energy also applying to our 'stuff' - and I think you may be right! Thank you for that idea.
Thank you for sharing all your stories and tips. I had your playlist on my headphones and started to declutter, one bit at a time. I might not be getting all the info, but having your voice in the background for sure helped me!
Marissa, I have watched videos by other Minimalist creators. Probably creators we all know and watch. Hands down you are my favorite Minimalist content creator. Thank you!! Love from Ohio 😎
I like the mantra, "I can like something without owning it." I call thrift stores Museums where I can touch things. I LOVE pretty dishes, but I can't own all that I see and like. So I go to the thrift store and see them, handle them, get my fix of prettiness and am done. I go home and look at all the pretties I already have and am content.
That's such a good point! We don't have to buy everything we like!! Borrow it if needed. Then see if you like it enough to buy one. Especially for kitchen appliances!!
I believe I first heard this with KonMari method-that abundance flows in when we declutter items. I saw this immediately when I first started reading her book. In the back of a cabinet there was an old chipped teapot I had completely forgotten about from when I’d moved years before. For some unknown reason, I’d stuffed it way in the back out of sight. I went to grab it, and it was heavy. Inside it was stuffed to the brim with quarters and dollar coins. After that I received a check from an old job for almost 2K. I always use the mindset decluttering brings in or makes room for abundance. That really helps me, and it works for me.
This is why I don’t like to window shop cuz I start to have an internal battle with myself. So, now when I go to the store I try to stick to my list for most things.
Great insights. Owning things is a burden. I liked my single days when I lived in a furnished apartment and only had my personal possessions. It was much easier to pack up and move. That old song about the happy wanderer with knapsack on his back is appealing, to be carefree to go anywhere with your only possessions on your back.
coming here bc you rec'd it in this morning's video (6/10/23). im so glad you directed me here marissa. this is the content i needed. also, please keep including those idea for other vids to watch.
I'm just at #2 but wanted to write down my mindset which I think holds me back: "I do not need anything more fancy or specific". This is expecially true for my furniture. My office/ crafting room contains of a modgepodge of furniture of my past 25 years and I do not have a vision yet, how I want it to look in the future. And so the second mindset is "I need to know how I want the room to look like in the future and start to set it up like that before I can truly declutter". I think both mindsets are not bad but maybe too strong... Finished the video now 😊Probably the "absolutism"-thing fits here although in a different sense then described in the video. Thanks for your content!
Oh my goodness, the matter & energy you explained really resonates with me. You said it perfectly & your videos keep me motivated! Love your channel. ❤
I hardly ever found a UA-cam Channel that really inspired me except this one. Its been only a few days that I got to know this channel and since then I ve watched almost every video. Your thoughts, experiences and tips gave me motivation. Thank you very much! Where in Germany do you live? Greetings from Cologne :)
i’m a band shirt kind of gal and instead of buying new band shirts i’ve been buying posters of the designs that i really love and i’ve been appreciating the posters so much more then i would a shirt
with liking things without buying them, a lesson i had to learn is that i need to stop buying cute things - cute plushies, figurines, stationery, and the like - because i don’t have a cutesy style! i like dark and minimal things in my space. a cute plushie of a pig won’t create the space i want, but i can still enjoy seeing it in the store. all the cuteness i need in my room comes from my pets!
🙏❣️ ✌️ For me it is also my nervous system: it stresses me out to face the reality of the state of domestic affairs, after decades of anxiety and depression, I am not used to having a rhythm of basic housekeeping, let alone deep cleaning / heavy decluttering / downshifting .
These videos make me feel like I can do it! 🎉 So even tho I peter out at least I'm making some (small) progress. You've really helped me cut back on purchases tho!!!
The mind can trap us in so many ways and can be rewired with determination. The stuff about matter at the end, was interesting!! Great video, as always.
Today, I went to a consignment shop to try and get money from some pants I'd gotten from my cousin. There were strict stipulations with regards to what brands and styles they would take. I bought in 5 pairs of jeans and they took 1 pair. I made $2.34. The ironic thing was that I'd been watching a video saying to get rid of crafting projects you know you aren't going to finish. I had been visually mending that pair of jeans, but it wasn't working out. I ripped out the stitches I'd made and actually made money off of them!
lol this nailpolish thing hit home for me haha! i've just decluttered all of them but one that is transparent so really low maintenance because just like you I hate putting it on and the maintenance 😆
Yes! Personally, I don't understand how when someone sees things they like they feel an instant compulsion to purchase. I have wanted things without that need and whenever I want something with that need I still don't because I know it's non-necessity or that financially it's not able to occur. Intentionality when making purchases is essential for life in the cases of some, including myself.
Thank you for this video! Would you mind digging a bit deeper into #2? I am struggling with this very topic ( detachin emotions from objetcs)... I feel I am kind of "erasing" my familly history as well as mine... Alsoyour content is REALLY helpfull and easy to grasp. Really grateful for this 🙏
Glad you are here, I have an excellent video to recommend to you. This one about memory boxes, and what to keep versus let go is perfect to help you work through this IMHO: ua-cam.com/video/QKwR9fw5qN0/v-deo.html
Hi Marissa, do you have a dishwasher? I was wondering because I saw you doing the dishes by hand and I always stuggle with this myself because I like to cook complicated recipes and I always spend at least an hour and a half a day on washing and drying the dishes. 🙈
One thing I have a hard time decluttering is anything my sister gave me. She is so so sensitive and I don’t want to hurt her feelings 🤦🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️ So everything she gave me is in one room because she has such different likes and style than I do I just can not put them “out.”
I have changed my consumption. I haven't bought one item for dressing since January 1st 2023. This is huge for me!!! I have bought make-up but nothing more!!!
I just made myself laugh so hard. I'm hearing you and then see the bottom "shop our store." I just found it hilarious. 'Get rid of your stuff but bye my things I have in my shop.' Is pretty much how I took it. I'm sure whatever you sell helps others just found it absolutely hilarious. 😂
It’s great you can amuse yourself so easily! 😉 My shop has digital printables designed to help people downsize their stuff, budget, and live more frugally - very aligned with what I teach. ✨
You talk about how you can like something and not have to own it. I work in a mall and there is a certain shirt on clearance that I "visit" almost every shift. I don't go into the actual store because I know that would look bad for their metrics, so I look at it through the window (it's teal and hangs in full view). I told myself that I'd buy the shirt if it got super cheap, but it isn't my size and I realize it will just become clutter. I now know I'm just content with visiting the shirt and I hope someone else is more of a fan of OB from the Loki show than I am and are willing to buy it.
Please like + comment with any mindset tips that YOU love that I might have missed. Thanks to BetterHelp for sponsoring this video and get 10% off your first month with this special link: betterhelp.com/atozenlife
I'm making huge progress... my father died years ago but he died so suddenly that i never dealt with it. This past week I framed a drawing he made and they had to cute the edges off.... the clerk asked if I wanted the scrap paper and I was able to say No. My dad isn't in a scrap of paper. He isn't in the drawing either but I want to keep that😂
I just found you videos today 6/2/23 and have a question. What do you do with all those birthday, congratulations, xmas cards you get from family and friends? I just moved into a new home and YES major decluttering. However, I have been doing this for years and did the KonMari method and now you add more to my declutter and organizing.
“I can like something without needing to own it” is so POWERFUL! This has totally changed my mindset and now I can enjoy something without it needing to come home with me!
I really like Pinterest for that reason. It enables me to keep and appreciate beautiful things, but just an electronic version of them that doesn't use up space.
I love this too. Never thought about it this way. If I like something I get the urge to just buy it… But I can appreciate it in the store, the next day if I haven’t forgotten I can always go back.
Woderful
When my daughter was little, and we had no money we treated stores as museums, not places where we were going to take stuff home with us from, but to get ideas and to figure out how to make things.
😮
I laughed at the nail polish comment. My granddaughter and I sat outside and painted rocks using up all those crazy nail polishes I bought. She arranged the rocks in my gardens and we took some to the park for others to find.😃
Nr 4: I recently found out about "Cluttercore". A lot of people seem to think it's the opposite of minimalism, but I feel like they actually complement each other. Because (if I understood it correctly) while in minimalism you get rid of all the things you *don't * like or need, Cluttercore highlights all the stuff that you *do* like and use. Instead of hiding it in boxes and drawers you can display all the items that "bring you joy". Ofc not everybody likes that "cluttered" aesthetic, but that design idea helped me reconsider how I think about decluttering too :)
Nr 5: Treat shops like museums.
Your point about "It's possible to enjoy things without needing to own them" is great. I like my stuff but have embraced the concept that Pinterest boards don't need to be dusted.
Oh snap! Just saw your comment and that's exactly how I feel!
I LOVE that! Pinterest boards don't need to be dusted 🙌😅
Sometimes the things I've been given by someone who didn't have a use for them have been useful for me. However, some of my clutter was originally someone else's clutter. They pressured me to accept the stuff because throwing it away made them feel guilty. Then I got stuck with the guilt. So please don't pressure people to take your stuff. Make sure that they really want it.
You are so right about decluttering alone not being enough. You can be minimal as heck, but if you leave dirty dishes out and don’t have a system for putting things back, everything is still going to look cluttered.
Really great perspective. I don't think minimalism is achievable for me but I am making progress. One thing I've realized is that every item you like doesn't have to be the start of a collection. I recently acquired a beautiful, hand painted Bristol vase. My first thought was that I need to find more and start a collection. But then I took a breath and realized that to add more would distract from the vase I like so much. Thank you for all you do!😊
I was an antique dealer, & after 15 years, decided I did not want to deal with the majority of customers acting as though their world would totally collapse, if they did not own a specific piece. I had a couple of favorite pieces that I thought I would possibly never part with, but since my aim is to get to a manageable 300 sq ft or less… I have no desire to keep any of it.
My MIL must have visited your shop often…😏 We have been clearing out her house for several years now. Goodness, she seemed to have kept all local and regional antique shops in business…..
I appreciate your videos, not only because you have walked the walk, but also because of how much you reflect and take responsibility for your own mental health. Very inspirational!
Thank you, that means a lot to me 🙏
This is so good, Marisa. I'm particularly stuck on boxes of sentimental stuff from my parents, who have both died over the past 7 years. Getting rid of things like their clothing & furniture (mostly via donating) was not much of a problem. But the sentimental stuff--from their high school yearbooks to photos from their youth & early marriage (memories that don't involve me i.e. pre-date me) to figurines & plaques I remember them displaying for decades in their home of 50+ years--is a whole different thing. Several times I've opened the tote bins & closed them again, due to the overwhelm after picking up a few items. Especially if they bring back memories. You're an inspiration since you've been through this yourself. Keep doing what you're doing--it makes a real difference for those of us who are struggling & would like to get to where you are.
First, I’m so sorry for your loss; I know it’s very difficult. If I may offer a bit of unsolicited advice, get away from the totes/items & make a list of anything (broad categories) that you might find in them, just as you have here. Title it “If I find….I will…” Having this detachment from the physical items while making these decisions will give you the chance to think more rationally about the items & what to do with them. Also, it will help you to more realistically consider what & how many of these things you may wish to keep. Maybe you decide to have just 1 box of the most important pieces that truly reflect their lives. And/Or 1 shelf in your home with a few key reminders of them. Most importantly, take your time & be kind to yourself through the process😊
A quote that has helped me let go of a lot of items that belonged to my deceased parents was "we don't need to hold on to other people's memories".
I find it helpful to take pictures of the items
Our love ones on the other side don't care about things they are filled with so much love they have no need for things❤
Thank you for this insighful video! ❤ I am a sociologist and cannot help bringing a social (and a bit historical) perspective to our relationship with physical objects. I can see in my parents, who grew up in the 50s and 60s in Eastern Europe, that they still have the "scarcity mindset" that they learnt as a child from their parents: a mindset that all objects may be useful and do not get rid of anything. I think this was a legit way of thinking in the 1st half of the 20th century and before. Then consumerism hit and my parents can afford buying much more stuff, but they still never part with anything. They have a mindset that belongs to the past but live in a very different culture and economy.
"you can like something without needing to own it" is probably the remarkable line for me. Just like you, I've been purchasing nail polish that i think it'll be nice for my nails. But while i was applying it on to my nails, i realized that i'm not good at it and made me buy a nail polish remover until it became a cycle. These days, I decided to discard all my nail polish and to only have a nail cutter to make my nails clean and I can say that it's actually the best decision i've made.
I’m the same, clippers only for my routine. 💅😉
Same here! And when I realized nail polish has to be disposed of as a hazardous waste that was the end of nail polish for me. I occasionally get tempted to buy it but haven’t in over a decade now.
"everything you ever wanted is on the other side of fear"......"old ways won't open new doors"......"I can like something with out having to own it"......love the illustration about nail polish!!!....what a beautiful video, with such practical wisdom!!!....
I like the aspect of "You don't need to own every thing that you love"! A few years ago, I began saving photos of the stuff I liked on my pc (either a screenshot or a photo of a thing in a store). For example, there are more fantastic dresses in this world than I can ever wear and every day there are more! So I can keep them as a picture and look at them whenever I want. Also great for clothes/things that you love but don't fit in your life or aren't your style. Bonus: If one day I don't like them anymore, they are super easy to declutter :)
My most powerful mindshift was convincing myself I'm worth it!🙏✨️
SUCH an essential mindset shift 🙏
Same! Still working on it.
This is such a good topic! My main source of clutter is twofold: so many things from the childhoods of my three children and random things I’ve bought to “make my life better” which have become things I never got around to using and thus have become stored away clutter. I have begun making a memory bin for each child and that helps me decide what is worthy to go in the bin. For my things; I am trying to look at my home in a broad sense of making it functional and efficient. This is mindset shift is really helping. Instead of cherishing each item I pick up, I look at the entire space, picture how I want it to function, then I realize that only certain things can stay to achieve that goal. Some things I box up to see if I can bring them back in but often times I realize I am ready to let a lot of it go. Some people naturally do this, but I have to make a conscious effort or I’ll keep everything because I do have lots of cool stuff. It’s just not serving me anymore.
The story that I recently changed about myself is that I can't lose weight because of my age. I recently lost nearly 2kg in as many weeks after learning from a podcast how to become fat adapted. Now I KNOW that I can I've shifted my mindset to say I CAN lose weight. I know this is not related to decluttering or minimalism but I wanted to share that what we believe are not facts, just thoughts which can be changed.
Yes, mindset can help us in so many ways - not just decluttering! Thanks for sharing. ✨
What is the podcast?
It's a podcast by a lady called Clair MacKenzie here in the UK 🇬🇧 it's called Lose weight, live life. She's a mindset and life coach, she's brilliant! I've learned so much from her.
I love that mentioned “matter & energy” and how that translates to owning items and having to take care of them. That’s a great perspective and a good analogy!
Thank you for helping me! Your voice is so sweet and comforting. It makes me feel better 😊
Thank you so much for this video. My husband and I live in a small apartment and have a loooot of unnecessary stuff. I realized just recently why we live in such a mess - we think that these things can be turned into something useful, like "oh, this fabric is so nice, I can sew scrunchies, bows for my daughter" The truth is that it never happens. I noticed that I can only create something in a neat and clean environment, when I can see all my yarn, paper and other stuff. If you still haven't made anything from this empty bottle after 5 years of keeping it, it probably won't happen in the next 5 years either.
Spot on sister!!!
After a day of decluttering including some more of my dad's stuff who died 5 years ago, I really appreciated your message thank you.
Me: I can’t figure out what is wrong with me but I know something is wrong with me!
Husband: the only thing wrong is that you think there is something wrong with you. ❤
#4…After years of having a hard time decluttering sentimental items I accidentally discovered a method that helps me at least with decorative objects. I had a table split in two sections. One was filled with the pretty stuff I really wanted to keep and the other was full of vases, lamps, figurines I could not let go yet, felt guilty about giving them away, etc. As I am not very fast at making progress anyway I let it sit there for a week, facing it from my couch every evening. I could physically feel how my stomach cramped while looking at some stuff that was unbelievably ugly. 😳 Looked at the pretty stuff again, feeling great. Doublecheck with the ugly stuff, stomach cramps. And after a week I was finally sure what to do. The guilty feeling made way for my clear thinking. 🙂
That's similar to something I recently started doing. If there's an item I struggle to give away, I set it in my den where I usually spend most of my waking hours. This forces me to see the item all day, day in, day out, until I make a decision. It was SURPRISING how quickly I got sick of looking at certain objects! It made the "goodbye" decision much easier.
Glad it works for you, too. We’re both a bit of delayed “Does it bring joy?”-decision makers. We’re slow…but we still can do it. 💪😁
@@iceblueaquamarina7389 There's often joy but then I discover it's short-lived. It's the initial spark when I see something that's been packed away or has been in the dark reaches of a cupboard that makes me want to keep it. Living with it day to day is the reality check I need. I come from a long line of packrats and have had to develop all sorts of ways to combat the ingrained "But That's a Perfectly Good (blank), I Should Keep It" mindset.
Don’t be too upset and too hard on yourself. Any progress is still progress. 🙂 My parents were kids during the war and they had literally nothing, not even enough to eat but bread and vegetables in the garden. My dad’s parents were even bombed out and they fled with nothing to a safer place. They hoarded stuff until their 80s, bought everything double, kept tons of food in the cellar. Bought new stuff but saved the broken stuff as well. I grew up with their mentality that everything has a worth. I’ve been struggling for decades to get rid of stuff..and now their stuff, too. Videos on decluttering have helped me alot to understand how to break the cycle and get me motivated. Whenever I feel I have a backlash I binge-watch declutter videos. That helps me alot. 🙂
Hi Marissa. Thank you so much for sharing your minimalism and emotionally vulnerable decluttering journey. You are truly an inspiration. Now for just an aesthetic comment: your videos with your colors of clothing (natural fibers, muted tones) AND the sage green curtains behind you make a FABULOUS backdrop that accentuate/flatter your beautiful eyes, healthy skin and hair. Just one more area you are inspiring!! I truly believe that the serenity you have achieved through your life choices and family's journey right now have contributed to your health, well-being and beauty as a person--inside and out. Thanks again for the continuing inspiration.
My mindset of the last 25 years has been "the less stuff you own the better when you have to pack up stuff and travel". I've lived in many places and I really enjoy travelling light. It was a work in progress initially, my first moves abroad were quite a nightmare as I wasn't good at picking only the things I really needed and not ALL I liked and often ended up with extra baggage and extra fees to pay for stuff I didn't even use eventually. Now I own so little that I can fit everything in a suitcase and a backpack, and that makes me so happy 😊 it gives me a powerful sense of freedom and awareness that I can go anywhere and won't miss anything left behind.
Whoa this went deep and I really dig the metaphysics of how clutter can literally rob you of your energy and life force. Really enjoying your channel!
On Clean Sweep, an old decluttering show, the host told the client (about a painting from their late mother), "This painting is not your mother, and it is not your mother's love for you." It is so obvious, but until he said it, the painting was an absolute obstacle.
You have really inspired me by throwing away this extra wedding picture!
❤️✨
Thanks You for all your videos my husband and i just packed up our moving pod and shipped it out and we are leaving so much behind. the neighbors that where helping us were the ones trying to get us to take everything and were confused when we said we don't want to pack that. i told them everything we are leaving behind is replaceable if we are actually going to use it we are going to a big city so i am not worried about finding what we need there. i know after the move we still will be decluttering since the neighbors did put more stuff in boxes then what we wanted, also where we are moving to is where my husband used to live and all of his stuff that he couldn't take with us to my old place was left there so we will be going through his stuff soon
i find that Absolute Language is a powerful tool. I am a very "black and white" thinker. I love the concept of duality. "everything on a spectrum" means that it's neither one or the other, and that does not move to achievement.
For example: If i asked my kid "Did you clean your room?" and she would say "Almost."...I would STOP her and say "Things are either done, or undone. Clear language is a key to communication. If it's not done, say NO and set a deadline, like "No, dad, I will have it done by 4."
Living in "the gray" invites mushy language, fence sitting, and "weasel words". This 'gray language" is how politicians, weathermen, and even your boss....lie to you.
Clear home, clear spaces and CLEAR language. I prefer to use Absolute Language be a way to both motivate me, as well as to maintain simple, positive communication WHEN this old hermit has to deal with people.
Your videos are great, and I picked up a few things from you while I help others declutter and change life and mind habits to success.
Thank you for this. I lost my dad two years ago and I haven’t been able to give stuff away that he gave me. Now I know that he is not the object and I have all the memories ❤
Just take pictures with the objects and make a little album like on your computer or iPhone this way you still have the memory 😊
I just found your channel today! It came into my life at the perfect time 🥰 Your videos have an ~older sister~ energy that is really comforting (I'm an only child! 😅)
Happy to have you here 🤗
Have had a problem that has made made me declutter like a mad thing! I am so glad and intend to keep on! May not be able to do anything about the problem yet but intend to keep on with the decluttering! Maybe the problem will fix itself while I am doing something useful! I am amazed at how much a person ME can amass! I now only go shopping once a week for food praises be!
I know your house must get messy and crazy at times, but I just love the way it looks all tidied up. I like the color palette and the gentle, calm feel of it.
The great thing is that when it’s messy it doesn’t add stress because it’s SO easy to manage. 🙌 Thanks for your kind words and support.
I love the point with the nail polish! (Most of them went to waste almost or totally full.) That’s so me! I just bought new ones. You opened my eyes! Thank you.
Thank you for your video, I Iove your videos! This video has given me a real insight into my own simplifying journey and food for thought! Thank you! ❤
I live in the mantra “I can like something without having to own it” Which has been my biggest struggle, but I’m making so much progress! I wanted the new Little Mermaid spirit jersey because it’s so beautiful, but I definitely don’t need it and there’s so many other things I can do with the money that are more important right now 🤗 Thank you for everything Marissa! I love watching every Sunday! 💕💕
Mermaids are a spending trigger for me, too! 🥹 Stay strong, my friend ❤️
I hv a lot of craft items which i hv been collecting and hoarding. I stopped buying but the items i bought are taking space. You gave me the strength to let go of most of it except the things i really love
The sayings help me in the heat of the shopping and decluttering moments.
Marissa, I would totally get that panda notebook.😊
Feel like I have just been to excellent therapy hearing your video! You’re better than Better Help, girl! Thank you! ❤
Very interesting observations about the universal laws of matter and energy also applying to our 'stuff' - and I think you may be right! Thank you for that idea.
Thank you for sharing all your stories and tips. I had your playlist on my headphones and started to declutter, one bit at a time. I might not be getting all the info, but having your voice in the background for sure helped me!
Marissa, I have watched videos by other Minimalist creators. Probably creators we all know and watch. Hands down you are my favorite Minimalist content creator. Thank you!! Love from Ohio 😎
Thank you so much, that means a lot to me! ❤️
I like the mantra, "I can like something without owning it." I call thrift stores Museums where I can touch things. I LOVE pretty dishes, but I can't own all that I see and like. So I go to the thrift store and see them, handle them, get my fix of prettiness and am done. I go home and look at all the pretties I already have and am content.
Ive been working on the whole I can like something but not need to buy it! It's hard but worth it to not buy it even though i like it!
Your videos are a perfect way to begin the week!
Aw, thanks so much ☺️
That's such a good point! We don't have to buy everything we like!! Borrow it if needed. Then see if you like it enough to buy one. Especially for kitchen appliances!!
I believe I first heard this with KonMari method-that abundance flows in when we declutter items. I saw this immediately when I first started reading her book. In the back of a cabinet there was an old chipped teapot I had completely forgotten about from when I’d moved years before. For some unknown reason, I’d stuffed it way in the back out of sight. I went to grab it, and it was heavy. Inside it was stuffed to the brim with quarters and dollar coins. After that I received a check from an old job for almost 2K. I always use the mindset decluttering brings in or makes room for abundance. That really helps me, and it works for me.
This is why I don’t like to window shop cuz I start to have an internal battle with myself. So, now when I go to the store I try to stick to my list for most things.
For me it’s not letting go of things that I find difficult but the justification for bringing things in- I excel at justifying spending xx
That’s an important area to work on 💪
Great insights. Owning things is a burden. I liked my single days when I lived in a furnished apartment and only had my personal possessions. It was much easier to pack up and move. That old song about the happy wanderer with knapsack on his back is appealing, to be carefree to go anywhere with your only possessions on your back.
Thank you! You do such a wonderful job at delving into the hard parts of the why and revealing the try why. Well done!
coming here bc you rec'd it in this morning's video (6/10/23). im so glad you directed me here marissa. this is the content i needed. also, please keep including those idea for other vids to watch.
Thanks Julie 🙏
I'm just at #2 but wanted to write down my mindset which I think holds me back: "I do not need anything more fancy or specific". This is expecially true for my furniture. My office/ crafting room contains of a modgepodge of furniture of my past 25 years and I do not have a vision yet, how I want it to look in the future. And so the second mindset is "I need to know how I want the room to look like in the future and start to set it up like that before I can truly declutter".
I think both mindsets are not bad but maybe too strong...
Finished the video now 😊Probably the "absolutism"-thing fits here although in a different sense then described in the video. Thanks for your content!
Oh my goodness, the matter & energy you explained really resonates with me. You said it perfectly & your videos keep me motivated! Love your channel. ❤
I hardly ever found a UA-cam Channel that really inspired me except this one.
Its been only a few days that I got to know this channel and since then I ve watched almost every video. Your thoughts, experiences and tips gave me motivation. Thank you very much!
Where in Germany do you live? Greetings from Cologne :)
Your advice & recommendations really resonate with me. Thank you.
Excellent! Your videos are helping so much as I prepare to get rid of everything that won't fit in the back of my truck and camper!
i’m a band shirt kind of gal and instead of buying new band shirts i’ve been buying posters of the designs that i really love and i’ve been appreciating the posters so much more then i would a shirt
with liking things without buying them, a lesson i had to learn is that i need to stop buying cute things - cute plushies, figurines, stationery, and the like - because i don’t have a cutesy style! i like dark and minimal things in my space. a cute plushie of a pig won’t create the space i want, but i can still enjoy seeing it in the store. all the cuteness i need in my room comes from my pets!
Fantastic points on declutter mindset
I love this information. Thanks. So well presented
Inspirational video- thanks!
Thank you for your great content! I also really like your hair length in this video. It is especially flattering on you! Love, Marta ❤
I love the help you had from a very conscientious strawberry cutter and strawberry arranger 😊❤❤❤
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For me it is also my nervous system: it stresses me out to face the reality of the state of domestic affairs, after decades of anxiety and depression, I am not used to having a rhythm of basic housekeeping, let alone deep cleaning / heavy decluttering / downshifting .
I am with you on the Nail polish. It's very toxic anyway. The ingredients have bad side effects!
These videos make me feel like I can do it! 🎉 So even tho I peter out at least I'm making some (small) progress. You've really helped me cut back on purchases tho!!!
This is so good - I had to watch it twice and take notes. Your content just makes sense to me and actually helps me to move forward - Thank You!
The mind can trap us in so many ways and can be rewired with determination. The stuff about matter at the end, was interesting!! Great video, as always.
I did the exact same thing with the nail polish 😊
Today, I went to a consignment shop to try and get money from some pants I'd gotten from my cousin. There were strict stipulations with regards to what brands and styles they would take. I bought in 5 pairs of jeans and they took 1 pair. I made $2.34.
The ironic thing was that I'd been watching a video saying to get rid of crafting projects you know you aren't going to finish. I had been visually mending that pair of jeans, but it wasn't working out. I ripped out the stitches I'd made and actually made money off of them!
My vocabulary absolutely perfectly….. mind reader u r
Girl! Preach!!
The first one quote❤
Please do a video regarding "fantasy self items"! I have never heard that phrase.
lol this nailpolish thing hit home for me haha! i've just decluttered all of them but one that is transparent so really low maintenance because just like you I hate putting it on and the maintenance 😆
Great video!!
Such a valuable video. Thank you Marissa.
I live that saying! I am new to your channel! Love it!
Yes! Personally, I don't understand how when someone sees things they like they feel an instant compulsion to purchase. I have wanted things without that need and whenever I want something with that need I still don't because I know it's non-necessity or that financially it's not able to occur. Intentionality when making purchases is essential for life in the cases of some, including myself.
#5 - “Like without needing to own”… My warning to myself is that that shiny new object becomes Stuff very quickly.
Thank you for this video! Would you mind digging a bit deeper into #2? I am struggling with this very topic ( detachin emotions from objetcs)... I feel I am kind of "erasing" my familly history as well as mine...
Alsoyour content is REALLY helpfull and easy to grasp. Really grateful for this 🙏
Glad you are here, I have an excellent video to recommend to you. This one about memory boxes, and what to keep versus let go is perfect to help you work through this IMHO: ua-cam.com/video/QKwR9fw5qN0/v-deo.html
Please make a video about cooking in a minimalist home (recipes, ingedients, etc.)
I have it on the ideas 💡 list!
Thanks!
Thanks so much for your support, Karen 🙏❤️
Hi Marissa, do you have a dishwasher? I was wondering because I saw you doing the dishes by hand and I always stuggle with this myself because I like to cook complicated recipes and I always spend at least an hour and a half a day on washing and drying the dishes. 🙈
We do have one, but I only run it every two days or so. Dishes can definitely take a lot of time!
One thing I have a hard time decluttering is anything my sister gave me. She is so so sensitive and I don’t want to hurt her feelings 🤦🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
So everything she gave me is in one room because she has such different likes and style than I do I just can not put them “out.”
I have changed my consumption. I haven't bought one item for dressing since January 1st 2023. This is huge for me!!! I have bought make-up but nothing more!!!
I just made myself laugh so hard.
I'm hearing you and then see the bottom "shop our store."
I just found it hilarious.
'Get rid of your stuff but bye my things I have in my shop.' Is pretty much how I took it.
I'm sure whatever you sell helps others just found it absolutely hilarious. 😂
It’s great you can amuse yourself so easily! 😉 My shop has digital printables designed to help people downsize their stuff, budget, and live more frugally - very aligned with what I teach. ✨
You are my saviour 👊
#7….wow! WOW!
You talk about how you can like something and not have to own it. I work in a mall and there is a certain shirt on clearance that I "visit" almost every shift. I don't go into the actual store because I know that would look bad for their metrics, so I look at it through the window (it's teal and hangs in full view). I told myself that I'd buy the shirt if it got super cheap, but it isn't my size and I realize it will just become clutter. I now know I'm just content with visiting the shirt and I hope someone else is more of a fan of OB from the Loki show than I am and are willing to buy it.
Thank you
the physics lesson was so meta!
Super interessante! 🎉
Where are your kids beds from?? They would be perfect for my girls ❤
I can relate to the nail polish. 💅