I Hate Having To Cater To The Dietary Choices Of My Vegan Friend....- Best Reddit
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- Опубліковано 18 жов 2024
- I Hate Having To Cater To The Dietary Choices Of My Vegan Friend....- Best Reddit
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AITA For Telling My Friend, Who Is Vegan And Doesn’t Drink, That I’m Tired Of Catering To Her Choices?
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A 50-year-old woman, referred to as OP, is struggling with the dietary and lifestyle restrictions of her friend Lauren, a 46-year-old vegan who abstains from alcohol. Although OP respects Lauren’s choices, she feels frustrated that their group outings are always dictated by Lauren's preferences. This has led to limited dining options, as their area already lacks diverse food choices, and to tension when others consume meat or alcohol in Lauren’s presence. Lauren not only disapproves vocally but also sends videos about the harmful effects of alcohol, which OP finds patronizing.
OP has tried to accommodate Lauren by suggesting various places for the group to meet. However, Lauren frequently redirects the plans to vegan-friendly venues, causing OP to withdraw from group outings due to dissatisfaction with the limited and expensive food options available. When confronted by Lauren about her absence, OP candidly expressed her frustration, emphasizing that she cannot always cater to Lauren’s needs. OP suggested alternative activities that don’t involve food or drink, but Lauren dismissed these ideas, insisting that there was nothing else to do in their area.
The confrontation escalated when OP proposed that Lauren eat beforehand and join the group later or alternate between vegan-friendly places and others. Lauren rejected these suggestions, stating she wouldn't sit around watching others eat meat. OP reiterated that she wouldn’t keep accommodating Lauren’s choices every time they went out. After this conversation, a mutual friend informed OP that Lauren was upset, though the friend privately agreed with OP's stance but avoided conflict.
OP questions whether she is in the wrong for not wanting to continuously cater to Lauren’s restrictive preferences. Many commenters supported OP, calling Lauren's behavior controlling and self-righteous, particularly regarding alcohol. OP shared an update, revealing an incident during a tennis practice in extreme heat, where Lauren refused to play early to avoid the hottest part of the day. When a teammate suffered from heat exhaustion, Lauren’s selfish attitude prompted OP to confront her harshly. The other teammates, who had also been frustrated with Lauren, thanked OP for speaking up.
In conclusion, OP decided to distance herself from Lauren, no longer tolerating her self-centered behavior. This situation highlights the challenges of balancing friendship dynamics with personal boundaries and mutual respect.
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I drink soda when others are drinking alcohol. Nobody misses out on what they want or cares what your having. Just there to hang out.
I hate being around drunk people.
But I just opt out when I know people will be drinking multiple drinks.
With the vegan friend, I would just stop being friends with her. It's one thing to choose to be vegan and not drink, it's another to judge others if they choose to eat meat or drink alcohol. Sending people information on why things are bad for them is just over the top preachy and rude and I would just stop hanging out with her altogether. OP was honest with her and she still had to make it all about herself and not compromise.
The friend is a narcissist because why must everyone do what she wants all the time.
She's not an narcissist, she's just an asshole.
That friend is obnoxious. She could order a salad on occasion. She also needs to back off other people 's choices. She needs to back off on those who eat meat and drink alcohol.
This I either eat whatever is available (sometimes just fries or salad) and/or eat before we go out. Alcohol free drinks are always available no need to be a douche.
Honestly texting people the alcohol information is kinda a red flag. Once or twice because it came up in conversation? Sure? But consistently after every meal where you’ve drunk alcohol? That controlling and passive aggressive. It’s like the “friend” feels entitled to tell other grown adults how to live. Also OP is right that restaurant food is expensive and she shouldn’t have to pay for it every time just to see her friend.
Every vegan I’ve ever met tries to control what everyone else does, especially regarding food. I would rather spend time watching paint dry than spend time with a self-righteous asshole
I personally woulda given anyone the dressing down of a lifetime and blocked them if they did that to me twice.
Your problem is not that your friend is vegan and doesn't drink, but that your friend is a controlling Karen that clearly doesn't know her boundaries.
Teaching people about something us one thing. But doing it over and over again to pressure their own beliefs and ways on them or ruin their whole experience is just trashy behaviour.
❤
She s a hypocrite. If it's about food then not friends, then she should not bully them about eating meat.
Even the vegan friend answer op question. Friend should enjoy each other company. Op didnt enjoy it so its not friendship. Cut all contact and tell your other friend. She look very manipulative.
I love the second story. It makes so little sense, yet has so many details.
The 2nd case... let's hope the wife doesn't turn against the husband if the girl actually advances or make real shit about him. He's playing a dangerous game.
She’s just pushy, it’s not the OPs fault that she is being pushy
In the 1st case should have asked her so ypu care about animal's life but you can't get up early for your friends health? So human life doesn't matter to you
Yeah should be able to compromise on both ends, but isn’t fair to compromise every time.
Also her logic isn’t sound. You should enjoy the company enough not to care” but that logic, she can go to a regular restaurant and order a salad once and awhile too
If you’re vegan you’re responsible for your own food and drinks. I’m a cook, and if I offer to cater with special food I demand a list of stuff that you eat. But this is a once in a blue moon experience, and in all other occasions I make whatever I want and you can either eat or eff off.
People need to grow a spine and find friends/partners that agree with then ideologically. Tolerance is BS in long term relationships.
Gym guy's wife is amazing and gym guy is amazing. All relationships should have this level of trust 🎉
Simple way to stop this, stop inviting her.
Nah NTA. You can’t force your beliefs into others. It would be fair if sometimes you did the vegan restaurant and sometimes a regular one that has options. Times are hard and it’s not fair on others to cater to one person and spend a lot of money for food that won’t be good. It would be one thing to text the thing about alcohol once is fine, but everyone is old enough to make their own informed decisions. I rarely drink and I eat healthy but if my friends pick a burger shop I’ll find food. And sometimes I just want a drink. But I’m an adult, I can make that decision since it’s my own body.
Haley should be arrested for illegal recording. She was told no, but this is a line crossed. Tell the gym manager and get hee thrown out. She made her choice. Nta
My husband doesn't even like to be recorded by me (his wife) for Facebook. Plus, she had the audacity to record your conversation after telling her that you didn't feel comfortable. She was being very creepy. Yes, she has been inappropriate. It's going to come back to bite you.
The cakes are very distracting 😋
Thank you!
If you are truly friends you should be able to compromis. Many restaurants have both vegan and non-vegan options and people should just be able to drink whatever they want. Sometimes you can go to a vegan restaurant but not demand it every time.
How do you know if someone is Vegan? ….. Wait 5 minutes. They will be sure to tell you.
I'm vegan and don't drink. Not once have I ever commented on the dietary choices of others. As for alcohol, it's a medical issue for me. Your life and your choice. What's the big deal? People need to mind their own damn business.
Ditto
Friendship requires compromises on both sides.. set a date with her once or twice a month and the rest of you meet whenever and wherever you like.. call it Lauren-free days..😅
It's not that uncommon for streamers to feature a fictional character that's really just some random person that never actually did any of that
If you value what you’re doing more than who you’re doing it with, find new people.
there is nothing that makes me want meat more than a holier than thou vegan who thinks they are all that and a bag of chips. i had to cut out a friend in college because she was so insufferable about it. i'm an insanely picky eater but i don't punish others for wanting to go somewhere i don't like anything from. i once went to a sushi place to hang out with friends (i absolutely despise sushi) but i just made sure i ate first and had snacks for after we left in case i was still hungry. we had a great time. i still purchased a soda of course
last story - the 22 yo has a crush on hte dude.
like - HARD !
Ugh my husband (we're polyamorous) used to date a vegan guy who was EXACTLY this self righteous about it. I'm a highly educated indigenous person and the dude pissed me off one day when he said some out of pocket crap about my people's cultural traditions so I fully explained with statistically backed proof how many animals died to make his wardrobe and diet of supplements and niche vegan products 😂 he showed his true colors then and immediately went full racist and slurred me. Needless to say that relationship ended rather quickly, it backfired spectacularly on him too because all of our friends saw how he was too, he's a very lonely person who depends on parasocial relationships with strangers he begs for money regularly for validation.
Do not hate those that drink or abhor those that eat meat. Rember that christ is the ultimate judge. She needs to be taught the meaning of patience and also tolerance. She can call herself Christian but christ judges the heart. Nta op
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Dump your friend
Vegan or no vegan, this woman is a fucking buzzkill. OP, get her away from you. She would rather you starve. Nta
In my life experience, I have discovered after much strategic, but caring, honest kitchen table style conversation, thoughtful cross questioning, that people are secretly ashamed that they drink alcohol. They secretly fear they may not be able to stop!
That's hilarious, to have a friend that essentially wants you to cater to their needs- the fact that she does not eat meat is not even remotely anyone's problem. I would have told her to take a hike so fast 🦶🏻
Easy ESH. Both friend and OP are choosing to be passive-aggressive and focusing on who's 'in the right' when really they just shouldn't be friends. I'm entovegetarian, and I don't make faces or comments about it to my vertebrate-eating friends and family because I understand that that's rude, but also if one of those friends or family told me outright that they don't care about accommodating me when choosing where to eat, I wouldn't keep them in my life.
But why would ppl have to acomodate you. If everyone wants to go to a grill they cant because you dont eat ... vertebrates??? Or whatever... Ive many vegan friends and they know ppl wont always choose a restaurant that accomodates
@@Salandrews Exactly. I'm not going to go to a restaurant to watch other people eat food that I find unethical; I'm just not gonna go. Instead of trying to actually talk to each other about it and realize that they shouldn't be spending time together at all, OP wants to insist on going to restaurants where her friend can't eat anything in order to try and get her friend to be the one that ends the friendship. It's not going to work, and they're just going to keep finding ways to make each other more and more miserable because neither of them want to make the mature choice.
@@Salandrews And yeah, vertebrates! I don't eat most meat and mostly avoid dairy and eggs, but I do eat certain meats like shrimp or clams, as well as some meats that most people in my country won't eat like bugs and snails. It's actually pretty rare for a restaurant to not have anything I can order lol
The way I'm understanding is that OP and the rest of the friend group are ALWAYS the ones compromising. That isn't healthy, in any friendship. I'd say OP and co were more accommodating, as they let this continue to become the problem that it is.
OP doesn't have a problem with that person being vegan, she has a problem with her imposing her way of life on the rest of the group.
@@koketso_dithipe If 'vegan-friendly' means 'vegan-only' I agree with you, but ime people use it to mean 'has a decent vegan option'
First
No one gives af
FR THO
To be fair it is a sin to drink alcohol
TBF it depends on the religion and religions are all dogshit templates created by humans themselves to control masses with fear and terror. That's all there is to it.
Only if you believe in sins.
Someone should tell the church… communion is a serious problem
@@alldayscapegoat Yes it is
Not to atheists or many regions, tbh. Didn't Jesus turn water into wine? Your god, whoever it is, is not everybody's god, your "sins" aren't everybody's "sins".