I actually do feel like a lot of neurotypical men conceptualize friends as “person I do this activity with” rather than “person I share a bunch of myself and my inner world with and also do activities with and confide in”. My husband is on a rugby team, and I go to a lot of rugby things with him because it’s a good way to hang out with him on a Saturday while also often being outside drinking a beer in a social setting since I’m very social even tho I’m maybe potentially high masking autistic. I also like to lift, so I’ve done workouts with him and guys on his team before. They’ve always treated me totally normal when I lift with them and stuff and are very nice. For a while, I was feeling like I was just seen as his wife and not a full person though, because it feels like my husband is the main person and I’m secondary because it’s his rugby team. Come to find out, some of the guys on the team actually consider me their friend because I’ve done activities they like with them. I actually even had a moment where I think I might have hurt one of the guys feelings a bit because he said we were friends and I said that we don’t meet my concept of a friend because I have to have a deeper emotional connection with someone to consider them a friend and I’d consider us acquaintances (maybe a bit of an autistic thing for me to say lol). In the moment I thought he was just joking kind of like how people might say “hey bestie” to someone they don’t know that well but think is cool. But now when I think back on it, I actually meet his concept of a friend as a neurotypical straight man. And when I think about it, they include me in their little rugby team games and traditions and stuff (like if someone has an open drink you drop a quarter into it, and they’re supposed to finish their drink right then) . And they really make a point to engage me and joke with me when I’m around. Just kind of interesting to see an example of a thing I’ve experienced in real life.
dude are you autistic cos this mirrors exactly my experience. my definition of friend was exactly that, someone i shared my inner world with so it shocked me when people would refer to me as their friend and i just didnt feel it. come to college ive loosened up on my definition and generally a lot more open with people. ive had a lot more success with friends now. but yeah thats still a very core memory for me. i dont think im autistic though i dont really have any sensory issues? So idk man lol
This is such a beautiful thing to experience, I'm happy for you. And in my experience, these guys would probably drop everything and help you out of a dire situation if your husband wasn't available. You're their friend that way. And it's so precious that they view you as such and not just your husband's appendage. Maybe you can make up for the acquaintance remark in a smooth way by calling him friend sometime when it makes sense. 😊
Yeah my boyfriend recently just said one of his friends is now just a regular friend, meaning he doesnt really care about them and that was super wild and weird to me
Since the last vid you did on new girl I watched the whole series. It gave me so much joy ❤️❤️. One scene that stood out to me was when Nick had that one gf who was jealous/disliked Jess and accused her of doing a "thing" when she was just being herself and is quirky n pure bc of autism. She looked so hurt by that and I felt it on such a deep level I cried. I have felt that so much from other women as an autistic woman myself. Other women struggle to trust our purity, they seriously mistrust us. The few girl friends I had that knew I was being myself always described me as a ball of sunshine and it always meant the world to me since literally 80% of women do not trust me bc of my nonconformity and autism. I related to Jess so much in so many ways. Shes so inspiring. Also seeing her friendship w/ Cece was so beautiful
I found that's true that people can have superficial friendships and I can't, I just can't, I need to know that someone has deeper stuff going on and we have other things to share.
When New girl started Nick was my favourite. Little did I know the weird, quirkiness of Winston. All interesting characters but oddballs speak to my soul.
I just came across your channel recently and dear lord I hope you do a video for many, many more New Girl episodes because I just love your commentaries on the show! I have never been diagnosed with Autism and I don't think I have it, but I relate to Jess so much in terms of her struggling to make friends and her consistent failure to fit in. The way people assume she's putting on a character or something when she's just sincerely being herself, her urges to burst into song at inappropriate moments, I relate to it all. Watching you empathise with her heals something in me I didn't know hurt, I cried through most of your other New Girl video about Jess and Nick's girlfriend (the high masker). Thank you for your content, I'm subscribed!
15:50 was a wild ride for me because it just made me realize for the first time WHY I like video games so much. You're really good at articulating things that are just subconscious for other people, Irene! /gen
I took a random charecter test, and one of my top 10 choices was Jess Day from New Girl. I'm seeing a major correlation now. I'm gonna start watching new girls again now!
watching your videos helped me heal a wound in real time, like right now as I type this, the switch just turned on. it helped me understand myself by looking at it in another pov, but probably more importantly it helped me reach a level of self compassion that i hadn't experienced before. it helps me to believe in myself more. much love
This has been something I’ve been experiencing in real life. I don’t know how to make friends in my adult life because I don’t really know what “normal people” do with their friends. I don’t want to go to a movie or a fancy restaurant or spend a lot of money. Like I literally just want to drive around at night and pass the aux cord to everyone in the car so we can get to know each other through music and talk about the songs and what they mean to us. Is that too much to ask for 😫 I’m definitely overthinking the whole thing but that’s just how I roll, I GUESS. I need an autism diagnosis
That sounds so great 😍 music is such an important and universal language with so many feelings and connections .. talking about what songs mean to another clearly will get so good and deep talks
i don't usually watch live-action shows but this does seem kind of nice. reminds me of 90s era sitcoms in a way. probably because the dialogue is good. my comfort show is Trailer Park Boys.
I saw a video that Purple Ella did saying that she drank matcha for neurodivergence as well. It's honestly so good! It's my coffee. I can't have coffee as it makes me edgy and anxious. Even too much decaf or decaf on an empty stomach makes me feel jittery, so I'm very thankful for Matcha. Maca powder is also really great ^_^
I love new girl! I'm really enjoying your thoughts on it, I agree with pretty much all of your interpretations, I really enjoyed your take on the one about Nicks Lawyer GF that thinks Jess is a fake I was too tired to comment at the time). Keep 'em coming I will watch for sure, cheers Lovely x I think Jess is a high masking autistic too, and Nick AuADHD. Great subject matter for explanations of high masking stuff, and genuine authentic 'being' which so many folks seem to interpret as fake.
I love the image and really love the metaphor but just wanted to let you know: You don't have to soak walnuts in order to crack the shell. At least I've never heard about that. It's not easy though, you need nutcrackers to open them. Or - as I used to as a kid when we found them under walnut trees on the way to school - stamp on them really hard :D ... Thank you for coming to my walnut Ted talk
When I was a kid, my grandpa showed me how to crack walnuts by slamming them in a door, because there was no nutcracker around and I was too weak to do trick he did by cracking two walnuts against each other in his hand. I was entertained for a long while and then even longer since I had to clean up the mess from the floor afterwards.
God, I'm convinced neurotypicals only bond by accident. And that's only because they can have multiple dull as heck conversations with people over and over again without banding their head open on the nearest surface. They eventually might get there with some people but most of the time they just sit around talking about nothing and brain rotting together. And taking nice pictures to make it look as if it's fun. I just can't. I'd rather be alone or hang out with only animals. But great video, great commentary. I love watching stuff together.
i think NTs mostly bond over agreeing on stuff and looking the same. that's why they're all "gee this weather is good/bad"; "oh yes i agree" or "something something local sports team"; "additional detail about local sports team". they don't really hold ideas or values to be as important as using low-content small-talk to reassure each other that they are the same and therefore not dangerous. it seems to me they tend to try to act a role that is the stereotype which seems most beneficial (as in imitating the image of someone in the social class above their own in order to form financially and socially beneficial alliances).
Every day I enter a bland, typical conversation I think about how someone could be telling me about their hyper focus on the UC timeline of Gundam instead. 😿
Hi, this is actually a deeply shitty and mean-spirited way of thinking about other people who are different from you. You are projecting your own insecurities on people you have deemed “neurotypical”, and in doing so are ignoring the fact that everyone, absolutely everyone, has as profound and complex an inner world as you. I invite you to decenter yourself as the main character of the universe. Who even are these people you’re talking about? It feels like you are making up a guy to get mad at, and not actually talking about three dimensional people in the real world.
Ooooooo! That autistic rizz thing made so much sense to me. I often found people would think I was a super close friend very quickly because I would ask deep and/or probing questions and be really authentic. And it's not that I didn't want to be their friend it was just how I always approached new people.
I remember now that I heard people analyse the manic pixie dream girl trope. Which is a type of female character we see often in fiction. People where saying Jess in new girl comes under the manic pixie dream girl trope and I'm just thinking while listening to your video that maybe the manic pixie dream girl trope is often a character that resonate with autistic people
‼️‼️‼️Just discovered you and subscribed! You are so sweet. I can sense your big heart! It’s the deep psychological insights into human behavior that I love hearing about from you. It’s a gift. I have ADHD, but still relate deeply to Jess. ‼️‼️‼️PS - Can you PLEASE PLEASE tell us what lip stain or whatever that is, that you’re wearing? It’s soooo pretty, and exactly what I need for my corpse-colored lips! 😅
i really liked that show. my friend said the manga chapters that will be adapted in S2 are really good as well so i am looking forward to that. (no date yet for S2 but has been green-lit.) really you can';t go wrong with Studio Trigger imo.
@@DJ_Black_Tourmaline this video did a good job of covering ND aspects without any show spoilers. I'd just skip the first 4min if you don't need the show premise explained: ua-cam.com/video/SsclZHp0orE/v-deo.htmlfeature=shared
I always wanted to watch New Girl but never caught the pilot episode for some reason. I'll have to watch it now! (That, and Not Dead Yet. I've caught the occasional episode because it was on after... The Conners, I think? And it's pretty quirky, and has an autistic character. Oh and I wanted to watch Abbott Elementary too...)
Yes, it’s Jess! I don’t like that many sitcoms, but I like New Girl. I always have thought that she is a lot like me. It’s nice to feel represented on TV. Walnuts are such hard nuts to crack. My cousins in Iran climbed tall trees then used machetes to open fresh walnuts. I was too scared to try. Regarding the matcha, maybe I should try it. I quit all caffeine a few months ago. My fear is that I’ll get hooked on it like I was dependent on espresso. I recall getting possessive with my green tea in the past, but at least it’s healthier 😝
never watched it and never rly cared to but idk after i watch this i might change my mind ig, esp cuz i didnt know there was an autistic coded character lol and im HEREEEE for that fs🙏🙏
with this episode i find it hard to relate as i've never been interested in trying to get a person to like me unless i'm interested in them specifically. if we seem to have a lot in common then great, if not why would i put effort into being friends with someone who i don't like more than the next person? i've never understood this lol i don't need to be friends with your friends or with my sister's boyfriend, i just want my own peace
i think that unprompted deep dives into anyone's psychology is rude. just because i see all the reasons why my friends do things and act the way they do doesn't mean i'm going to psychoanalyse them out loud. of course, it is a struggle sometimes lol but unless they've asked for it..yeah consent is a thing
Long comment , but I’d appreciate it if you would check it out. I really enjoy the way you dissect topics, and the way you speak about them. Would you please consider discussing ideas on hierarchies of needs for Autistic and/or ADHD people. Ik it’s near impossible to create one overall pyramid or chart for everyone, as everyone has different physical/emotional/mental needs and preferences. But perhaps it could be a start, or a way for people with not much outside support ( tho them too ), to have a template to better understand how to care for themselves. Based on research and studies from groups with their own related experiences. Not asking you to create an answer, or a pyramid even, but maybe just discovering and sharing research and resources would be very helpful, and add a tool to the community. If you don’t want to make a video, I absolutely understand. Maybe it’ll still be an interesting read for you :) *This is just my personal experience, you can skip this paragraph if you just want some articles and research below:: -I am autistic ( w some co-morbid mental health troubles ) and in my mid 20’s. I’ve only discovered my unmasked autism within myself the last 2 years after i hit my first long-term burnout, and serious delirium and breakdowns. Like very bad, and completely in private. Since then has been a grueling process of what felt like the decaying of who i used to be, like all the different masks I’ve worn my whole life. Working through so much shame and confusion. Processing this new context that has changed so much meaning. -After so long mourning myself, i am in the process of trying to figure out who I actually am. What my special interests are,how i want to present myself, what i want to fill my mind and heart with. - I still struggle a lot w understanding my needs, or how to even build a stable or comfortable life. I feed myself, and make sure to be clean around others. I am not really involved in anyone’s lives unless they really need me. I’ve lost many friends, both on purpose and through avoidance. - I work full time, and i struggle with maintaining connections outside of work ( forced proximity ). I have trouble keeping my room clean, it often gets covered in laundry, trash, dishes. But i make sure anything outside of my room is clean for my roommates. -Beyond that, I’m not sure what comes next, or what I’m supposed to do. I feel like I’m always stuck in survival mode, constant burnout, chronic fatigue, and a constant feeling that the world is burning and I’m just sitting in my room barely caring for myself. I never know when to go to the doctors. Even tho im always in pain, I’ve spent months in bed. But it’s like i gaslight myself, and believe that because i can mask my pain in front of others, because i can tolerate it enough to hide it, then i must not be in enough pain. At least not enough to go through the process of a doctor, insurance aside, the whole process seems so overwhelming. -Last time i went to a normal doctor he told me to make it quick and to just list things off. I was caught so off guard i just picked certain things and didn’t go into detail. Any follow ups i was supposed to have i never went too. ( my parent did not take me to doctors much, never any follow ups. So that might play a role as well ). -I went recently to the ER for Bells Palsy, i am uninsured, and they set me up for state insurance. But a few weeks later i got calls saying there was something wrong with my application. I was so detached and overwhelmed from all of life, that I couldn’t even process that for weeks. I just kept ignoring the anxiety and thoughts until i had the energy. By then they had denied my application for not responding. Now that medical debt is in the back of my mind. But this is common, especially w doctors/dentist appointments, keeping in touch with people, car maintenance, nutrition, self expression. The longest job I’ve ever held was 2 years. Its very delayed and confused executive function, and not knowing how to get out of survival mode. So I’m trying to start from the ground up, and see where I need to restart, and what needs I need to meet first ( and correctly, to the best of my ability ) , in order to move on to the next level, and begin actually being a human being. But the Maslows pyramid never felt accurate to my needs. So I’ve been trying to research other concepts of autism pyramid of needs, or some type of chart of needs. ( obviously everyone’s would be slightly different due to co-morbid issues, preferences, etc. ). Any insight you have to add would be incredibly interesting. found one pyramid on the University of St.Andrew’s website ( “Autistic hierarchy of Needs” ), but some tiers I think would be switched for me personally, and kinda vague. Some interesting reads about needs: “Autistic adults’ views of their communication skills and needs” - onlinelibrary.wiley.com “A capabilities approach to understanding and supporting autistic adulthood” - nature.com ^a very insightful article ( The PDF version is a little nicer to read ) Also found someone’s version on r/autism “I hope this helps someone (my version of Maslow’s Heirarchy of Needs” If you do read this, thanks again for taking the time 🫶🏻
thanks for sharing so much! i would recommend making a written list of questions before going to the doctor. sometimes for me the doctor's office can be a bit overwhelming and it is sometimes difficult to remember what i wanted to talk about because my brain is so busy trying to deal with environmental and social issues. if i have my questions written down ahead of time i can refer to it during the interview and i don't miss anything. it helps me prepare for the conversation to make notes ahead of time and gives me a little more confidence and i have something to fall back on.
Can you please talk a bit about meds if you haven't yet? I know it's a tricky topic but if ypu could mention at least which ones you tried (or work for YOU ) with the audhd combo 🫶🏼🙏🙏🙏
I would happily watch you do these for every single episode 😂
I actually do feel like a lot of neurotypical men conceptualize friends as “person I do this activity with” rather than “person I share a bunch of myself and my inner world with and also do activities with and confide in”. My husband is on a rugby team, and I go to a lot of rugby things with him because it’s a good way to hang out with him on a Saturday while also often being outside drinking a beer in a social setting since I’m very social even tho I’m maybe potentially high masking autistic. I also like to lift, so I’ve done workouts with him and guys on his team before. They’ve always treated me totally normal when I lift with them and stuff and are very nice. For a while, I was feeling like I was just seen as his wife and not a full person though, because it feels like my husband is the main person and I’m secondary because it’s his rugby team. Come to find out, some of the guys on the team actually consider me their friend because I’ve done activities they like with them. I actually even had a moment where I think I might have hurt one of the guys feelings a bit because he said we were friends and I said that we don’t meet my concept of a friend because I have to have a deeper emotional connection with someone to consider them a friend and I’d consider us acquaintances (maybe a bit of an autistic thing for me to say lol). In the moment I thought he was just joking kind of like how people might say “hey bestie” to someone they don’t know that well but think is cool. But now when I think back on it, I actually meet his concept of a friend as a neurotypical straight man. And when I think about it, they include me in their little rugby team games and traditions and stuff (like if someone has an open drink you drop a quarter into it, and they’re supposed to finish their drink right then) . And they really make a point to engage me and joke with me when I’m around. Just kind of interesting to see an example of a thing I’ve experienced in real life.
dude are you autistic cos this mirrors exactly my experience. my definition of friend was exactly that, someone i shared my inner world with so it shocked me when people would refer to me as their friend and i just didnt feel it.
come to college ive loosened up on my definition and generally a lot more open with people. ive had a lot more success with friends now. but yeah thats still a very core memory for me.
i dont think im autistic though i dont really have any sensory issues? So idk man lol
This is such a beautiful thing to experience, I'm happy for you. And in my experience, these guys would probably drop everything and help you out of a dire situation if your husband wasn't available. You're their friend that way. And it's so precious that they view you as such and not just your husband's appendage.
Maybe you can make up for the acquaintance remark in a smooth way by calling him friend sometime when it makes sense. 😊
Yeah my boyfriend recently just said one of his friends is now just a regular friend, meaning he doesnt really care about them and that was super wild and weird to me
The American walnut has a thicker and harder shell than the English walnut. The husks can be used to make a nice earthy brown dye.
I didn't think I'd see anything about natural dyeing on here but I'm glad for it .
WAIT Zoeey Deschanel plays Jess who is an audience chosen autistic and so is her sister in Bones as Emily Deschanel plays Dr Brennan
Zooey is neurodivergent in real life too btw
This. According to interviews, she was diagnosed adhd and I believe she said she based Jess off of a lot of her earlier life.
Since the last vid you did on new girl I watched the whole series. It gave me so much joy ❤️❤️. One scene that stood out to me was when Nick had that one gf who was jealous/disliked Jess and accused her of doing a "thing" when she was just being herself and is quirky n pure bc of autism. She looked so hurt by that and I felt it on such a deep level I cried. I have felt that so much from other women as an autistic woman myself. Other women struggle to trust our purity, they seriously mistrust us. The few girl friends I had that knew I was being myself always described me as a ball of sunshine and it always meant the world to me since literally 80% of women do not trust me bc of my nonconformity and autism. I related to Jess so much in so many ways. Shes so inspiring. Also seeing her friendship w/ Cece was so beautiful
i think about that episode all the time 😌 i might make the next one on it!
@@thethoughtspot222 Yesssss!! Id love to see that ❤️🙏
still sad they took new girl off netflix 😭 guess i need to get hulu again
forreal!!
oh aha i was going to maybe check it out on netflix oh well then
all 7 seasons are on Disney+ !
It’s also on peacock
I watch it on Disney+ too
(Aus for reffernece)
I found that's true that people can have superficial friendships and I can't, I just can't, I need to know that someone has deeper stuff going on and we have other things to share.
When New girl started Nick was my favourite. Little did I know the weird, quirkiness of Winston. All interesting characters but oddballs speak to my soul.
You mean Winnie the Bish?
I just came across your channel recently and dear lord I hope you do a video for many, many more New Girl episodes because I just love your commentaries on the show! I have never been diagnosed with Autism and I don't think I have it, but I relate to Jess so much in terms of her struggling to make friends and her consistent failure to fit in. The way people assume she's putting on a character or something when she's just sincerely being herself, her urges to burst into song at inappropriate moments, I relate to it all. Watching you empathise with her heals something in me I didn't know hurt, I cried through most of your other New Girl video about Jess and Nick's girlfriend (the high masker). Thank you for your content, I'm subscribed!
15:50 was a wild ride for me because it just made me realize for the first time WHY I like video games so much.
You're really good at articulating things that are just subconscious for other people, Irene! /gen
I took a random charecter test, and one of my top 10 choices was Jess Day from New Girl. I'm seeing a major correlation now.
I'm gonna start watching new girls again now!
you got me into New Girl with your last video, i love your episode commentaries, they're just nice experiences. thank you for doing these!
watching your videos helped me heal a wound in real time, like right now as I type this, the switch just turned on. it helped me understand myself by looking at it in another pov, but probably more importantly it helped me reach a level of self compassion that i hadn't experienced before. it helps me to believe in myself more. much love
This has been something I’ve been experiencing in real life. I don’t know how to make friends in my adult life because I don’t really know what “normal people” do with their friends. I don’t want to go to a movie or a fancy restaurant or spend a lot of money. Like I literally just want to drive around at night and pass the aux cord to everyone in the car so we can get to know each other through music and talk about the songs and what they mean to us. Is that too much to ask for 😫 I’m definitely overthinking the whole thing but that’s just how I roll, I GUESS. I need an autism diagnosis
That sounds so great 😍 music is such an important and universal language with so many feelings and connections .. talking about what songs mean to another clearly will get so good and deep talks
It’s the “kewl,, I know you guys are already done” for me coach 😂
This is such beautiful ep and analysis, especially about Coach-and how Jess connects with them. Thank you for healing some of my heart in this 💓💐🌷
I love this New Girl stuff so much! Thank you! 💜
I love New Girl and would love to see more of these videos. Jess is one of my favourite autistic-coded characters (and characters in general).
i don't usually watch live-action shows but this does seem kind of nice. reminds me of 90s era sitcoms in a way. probably because the dialogue is good. my comfort show is Trailer Park Boys.
Your watermelon earrings ❤️❣️🍉💐❤️
i looooove this show. Always felt represented by jess, like we could we friends.
New girl 😂so good I wish they kept making more episodes. It was such a good show.
I saw a video that Purple Ella did saying that she drank matcha for neurodivergence as well. It's honestly so good! It's my coffee. I can't have coffee as it makes me edgy and anxious. Even too much decaf or decaf on an empty stomach makes me feel jittery, so I'm very thankful for Matcha. Maca powder is also really great ^_^
stay regulated is one of the kindest things someone has ever said to me
I love your observations for this episode!! I'm gonna have to have a re-watch myself now!!
Jess- ASD. Nick- audhd&gifted pda profile. Schmitt- OCD&ASD. Winston- Audhd. Cici- Nt. Coach- adhd. That’s my hypothesis ! 😆
I think that coach is autistic with a special interest in sports but I agree with the rest
Later episodes where Cece is more fleshed out she seems neurodivergent at the very least
IM OBSESSED thank you for this
I like how you thoroughly explained MagicMind. Those details made me want to buy it.
I love that show. It’s kinda nice to recap the episodes like this
I love new girl! I'm really enjoying your thoughts on it, I agree with pretty much all of your interpretations, I really enjoyed your take on the one about Nicks Lawyer GF that thinks Jess is a fake I was too tired to comment at the time). Keep 'em coming I will watch for sure, cheers Lovely x I think Jess is a high masking autistic too, and Nick AuADHD. Great subject matter for explanations of high masking stuff, and genuine authentic 'being' which so many folks seem to interpret as fake.
I love the image and really love the metaphor but just wanted to let you know: You don't have to soak walnuts in order to crack the shell. At least I've never heard about that. It's not easy though, you need nutcrackers to open them. Or - as I used to as a kid when we found them under walnut trees on the way to school - stamp on them really hard :D
...
Thank you for coming to my walnut Ted talk
When I was a kid, my grandpa showed me how to crack walnuts by slamming them in a door, because there was no nutcracker around and I was too weak to do trick he did by cracking two walnuts against each other in his hand. I was entertained for a long while and then even longer since I had to clean up the mess from the floor afterwards.
“What a walnut!”
"he's much more shallow than anticipated" story of my life. I really thought everyone has a more rich inner story, mind scape going on. Not.
If you get green hulled black walnuts you can make medicine from the hulls.
YOU ARE SO PRETTY!!! and not to be weird but it’s satisfying watching you talk with your full lips and braces. Just me?
I watched one of your other videos on new girl & now this one & you’ve convinced me I need to watch it 😭
HAHA! The metaphors thing; I do this so much. I find ways to relate everything to wrestling. 😆
that was extremely fun
i love your earings!❤🍉
God, I'm convinced neurotypicals only bond by accident. And that's only because they can have multiple dull as heck conversations with people over and over again without banding their head open on the nearest surface. They eventually might get there with some people but most of the time they just sit around talking about nothing and brain rotting together. And taking nice pictures to make it look as if it's fun.
I just can't. I'd rather be alone or hang out with only animals. But great video, great commentary. I love watching stuff together.
i think NTs mostly bond over agreeing on stuff and looking the same. that's why they're all "gee this weather is good/bad"; "oh yes i agree" or "something something local sports team"; "additional detail about local sports team". they don't really hold ideas or values to be as important as using low-content small-talk to reassure each other that they are the same and therefore not dangerous. it seems to me they tend to try to act a role that is the stereotype which seems most beneficial (as in imitating the image of someone in the social class above their own in order to form financially and socially beneficial alliances).
Every day I enter a bland, typical conversation I think about how someone could be telling me about their hyper focus on the UC timeline of Gundam instead. 😿
"as if it's fun" sounds a bit inconsiderate and mean tho. I think we should look at it as different people have different definitions of fun.
Shut up
Hi, this is actually a deeply shitty and mean-spirited way of thinking about other people who are different from you. You are projecting your own insecurities on people you have deemed “neurotypical”, and in doing so are ignoring the fact that everyone, absolutely everyone, has as profound and complex an inner world as you. I invite you to decenter yourself as the main character of the universe. Who even are these people you’re talking about? It feels like you are making up a guy to get mad at, and not actually talking about three dimensional people in the real world.
Loved this! Your analysis is spot on: so so funny 😍🤣
Ooooooo! That autistic rizz thing made so much sense to me. I often found people would think I was a super close friend very quickly because I would ask deep and/or probing questions and be really authentic. And it's not that I didn't want to be their friend it was just how I always approached new people.
Your Jess-hairstyle is great!
I remember now that I heard people analyse the manic pixie dream girl trope. Which is a type of female character we see often in fiction. People where saying Jess in new girl comes under the manic pixie dream girl trope and I'm just thinking while listening to your video that maybe the manic pixie dream girl trope is often a character that resonate with autistic people
‼️‼️‼️Just discovered you and subscribed! You are so sweet. I can sense your big heart!
It’s the deep psychological insights into human behavior that I love hearing about from you. It’s a gift. I have ADHD, but still relate deeply to Jess.
‼️‼️‼️PS - Can you PLEASE PLEASE tell us what lip stain or whatever that is, that you’re wearing? It’s soooo pretty, and exactly what I need for my corpse-colored lips! 😅
Delicious in Dungeon is a feast of autistic coding if you have Netflix. 👀
i really liked that show. my friend said the manga chapters that will be adapted in S2 are really good as well so i am looking forward to that. (no date yet for S2 but has been green-lit.) really you can';t go wrong with Studio Trigger imo.
@@DJ_Black_Tourmaline this video did a good job of covering ND aspects without any show spoilers. I'd just skip the first 4min if you don't need the show premise explained: ua-cam.com/video/SsclZHp0orE/v-deo.htmlfeature=shared
@@stephanieok5365 you might also like the currently running anime "The Fable". the MC is an autistic-coded hitman for the yakuza.
I see myself in Nick and Jess how they do life both of them opposite as they may be bit it resonates with me so much idk how to explain it
I always wanted to watch New Girl but never caught the pilot episode for some reason. I'll have to watch it now! (That, and Not Dead Yet. I've caught the occasional episode because it was on after... The Conners, I think? And it's pretty quirky, and has an autistic character. Oh and I wanted to watch Abbott Elementary too...)
man, a lot of what you say abt your thought process is very similar to me. maybe i need to look into a diagnosis
need moooooore of thiss
My favourite time is medieval too Jess 😂❤
i love your new girl videos!!!
I love these
I relate to Jess so much!
I wish Ashwaganda wasn't in so much stuff because it's a nightshade
7:09 wait, are you telling me that not everyone does this all the time??
Yes, it’s Jess! I don’t like that many sitcoms, but I like New Girl. I always have thought that she is a lot like me. It’s nice to feel represented on TV.
Walnuts are such hard nuts to crack. My cousins in Iran climbed tall trees then used machetes to open fresh walnuts. I was too scared to try.
Regarding the matcha, maybe I should try it. I quit all caffeine a few months ago. My fear is that I’ll get hooked on it like I was dependent on espresso. I recall getting possessive with my green tea in the past, but at least it’s healthier 😝
never watched it and never rly cared to but idk after i watch this i might change my mind ig, esp cuz i didnt know there was an autistic coded character lol and im HEREEEE for that fs🙏🙏
It’s so hard for me to hold back the “I told you so.” I read my roommate like a book. Is it masking to not be a smart ass?😅
Wait, I don't get the red-eye joke and google isn't helping! :(
uh you soooo pretty 🤍🤍🤍
with this episode i find it hard to relate as i've never been interested in trying to get a person to like me unless i'm interested in them specifically. if we seem to have a lot in common then great, if not why would i put effort into being friends with someone who i don't like more than the next person? i've never understood this lol i don't need to be friends with your friends or with my sister's boyfriend, i just want my own peace
i think that unprompted deep dives into anyone's psychology is rude. just because i see all the reasons why my friends do things and act the way they do doesn't mean i'm going to psychoanalyse them out loud. of course, it is a struggle sometimes lol but unless they've asked for it..yeah consent is a thing
❤
Long comment , but I’d appreciate it if you would check it out.
I really enjoy the way you dissect topics, and the way you speak about them. Would you please consider discussing ideas on hierarchies of needs for Autistic and/or ADHD people. Ik it’s near impossible to create one overall pyramid or chart for everyone, as everyone has different physical/emotional/mental needs and preferences. But perhaps it could be a start, or a way for people with not much outside support ( tho them too ), to have a template to better understand how to care for themselves. Based on research and studies from groups with their own related experiences. Not asking you to create an answer, or a pyramid even, but maybe just discovering and sharing research and resources would be very helpful, and add a tool to the community. If you don’t want to make a video, I absolutely understand. Maybe it’ll still be an interesting read for you :)
*This is just my personal experience, you can skip this paragraph if you just want some articles and research below::
-I am autistic ( w some co-morbid mental health troubles ) and in my mid 20’s. I’ve only discovered my unmasked autism within myself the last 2 years after i hit my first long-term burnout, and serious delirium and breakdowns. Like very bad, and completely in private. Since then has been a grueling process of what felt like the decaying of who i used to be, like all the different masks I’ve worn my whole life. Working through so much shame and confusion. Processing this new context that has changed so much meaning.
-After so long mourning myself, i am in the process of trying to figure out who I actually am. What my special interests are,how i want to present myself, what i want to fill my mind and heart with.
- I still struggle a lot w understanding my needs, or how to even build a stable or comfortable life. I feed myself, and make sure to be clean around others. I am not really involved in anyone’s lives unless they really need me. I’ve lost many friends, both on purpose and through avoidance.
- I work full time, and i struggle with maintaining connections outside of work ( forced proximity ). I have trouble keeping my room clean, it often gets covered in laundry, trash, dishes. But i make sure anything outside of my room is clean for my roommates.
-Beyond that, I’m not sure what comes next, or what I’m supposed to do. I feel like I’m always stuck in survival mode, constant burnout, chronic fatigue, and a constant feeling that the world is burning and I’m just sitting in my room barely caring for myself. I never know when to go to the doctors. Even tho im always in pain, I’ve spent months in bed. But it’s like i gaslight myself, and believe that because i can mask my pain in front of others, because i can tolerate it enough to hide it, then i must not be in enough pain. At least not enough to go through the process of a doctor, insurance aside, the whole process seems so overwhelming.
-Last time i went to a normal doctor he told me to make it quick and to just list things off. I was caught so off guard i just picked certain things and didn’t go into detail. Any follow ups i was supposed to have i never went too. ( my parent did not take me to doctors much, never any follow ups. So that might play a role as well ).
-I went recently to the ER for Bells Palsy, i am uninsured, and they set me up for state insurance. But a few weeks later i got calls saying there was something wrong with my application. I was so detached and overwhelmed from all of life, that I couldn’t even process that for weeks. I just kept ignoring the anxiety and thoughts until i had the energy. By then they had denied my application for not responding. Now that medical debt is in the back of my mind. But this is common, especially w doctors/dentist appointments, keeping in touch with people, car maintenance, nutrition, self expression. The longest job I’ve ever held was 2 years. Its very delayed and confused executive function, and not knowing how to get out of survival mode.
So I’m trying to start from the ground up, and see where I need to restart, and what needs I need to meet first ( and correctly, to the best of my ability ) , in order to move on to the next level, and begin actually being a human being. But the Maslows pyramid never felt accurate to my needs. So I’ve been trying to research other concepts of autism pyramid of needs, or some type of chart of needs. ( obviously everyone’s would be slightly different due to co-morbid issues, preferences, etc. ). Any insight you have to add would be incredibly interesting.
found one pyramid on the University of St.Andrew’s website ( “Autistic hierarchy of Needs” ), but some tiers I think would be switched for me personally, and kinda vague.
Some interesting reads about needs:
“Autistic adults’ views of their communication skills and needs” - onlinelibrary.wiley.com
“A capabilities approach to understanding and supporting autistic adulthood”
- nature.com
^a very insightful article ( The PDF version is a little nicer to read )
Also found someone’s version on r/autism “I hope this helps someone (my version of Maslow’s Heirarchy of Needs”
If you do read this, thanks again for taking the time 🫶🏻
thanks for sharing so much! i would recommend making a written list of questions before going to the doctor. sometimes for me the doctor's office can be a bit overwhelming and it is sometimes difficult to remember what i wanted to talk about because my brain is so busy trying to deal with environmental and social issues. if i have my questions written down ahead of time i can refer to it during the interview and i don't miss anything. it helps me prepare for the conversation to make notes ahead of time and gives me a little more confidence and i have something to fall back on.
@@DJ_Black_Tourmaline this is a great suggestion, I appreciate u :)
Cool
WHAT LIPSTICK IS THIIIIS!
Idk. I dont think any of the main characters are neurotypical.
gotta disagree sport is about emotions and psychology!!!! sport is inherently spiritual imo
Can you please talk a bit about meds if you haven't yet? I know it's a tricky topic but if ypu could mention at least which ones you tried (or work for YOU ) with the audhd combo 🫶🏼🙏🙏🙏
I made a whole video on ADHD meds and went into details about it!
@@thethoughtspot222 omg thank you so much!!! Really eye opening and inspired me to get my meds sooner. Thanks!!