Why am I doing this to myself? Mid-project regrets and reflections on the mental noise on YouTube
Вставка
- Опубліковано 15 вер 2024
- Reflecting on UA-cam as a platform, mid project crisis, and what I love about Patreon recently.
Thank you for your support, reading your comment makes my day 😊
Romica
--
📕❤️ Book I’ve mentioned on Audible
Get your Life back by JOHN ELDREDGE
www.audible.co...
Hey Romica, I wanted to let you know I do really like your advent calendar project. It is very inspiring! However, I know how much work everything can be! I hope you can find some quiet before the holidays. Lots of love. 🌲
Hey Sofie, it‘s been so long. I remember meeting you when I started my blogging journey. Wow, so much has changed since. After hearing about people‘s thoughts I felt I want to finish the project, so thank you very much for saying hello and letting me know you are enjoying it :) it means a lot.
🤗❤🎄 I totally get what you mean about everything being extreme on UA-cam. I personally don't like that culture either and refuse to copy some of the "successful" strategies people use for attention 😆it's valuable to have people like you who keep things real and I think we need more channels like that.
About the advent calendar: if you choose not to finish the project, don't worry, that's totally understandable. Or if you want to continue in some way, you could even just update what the calendar looks like whenever you feel like it, or at the end. I think it's important that you enjoy what you're doing and that you listen to your feelings. Your mental health is important. I am learning to prioritise it more as well.
A lot of UA-camrs struggle with mental health and I think that's something UA-cam could and should improve.
Thanks for being honest and I hope you can have more time to yourself soon.
Thank you for the love and sharing your perspective. I really enjoyed hearing from you and the other lovely people here and to know that there are people listening makes it more worthwhile and brings me joy. In the end I want to enjoy creating and bring that joy to others. So I will keep going for now with the calendar and enjoy it more. The next 6 illustrations were so much more fun so I think it was the right decision to continue :)
@@romicajones awesome! ❤
🎄 thank you for being vulnerable. A long project is very hard to do, especially if you want feedback and don’t receive it, or at least not as much as you wanted. Been there 😅 keep doing it if it makes you happy, if you get no joy from it ditch it. Life is too short and so is your time with no kids 😁
Thank you Elsa, as a fellow parent and working illustrator it is so good to hear your thoughts. I am out of this rut again and feel happy to keep going. And yes, time with no kids is short haha XD
Dear Romica, I have been fallowing your channel since 2018 I guess... Actually watching you talking through your thoughts laudly made me feel more connected to you. I am having difficulties with my illustration business and bag making business... And I dont know is I should share it on youtube or not? Should I speak English or Turkish?... As you see I have tons of questions in my head! :) Please keep up with yoyr creative work. Best wishes from Turkey 🦄
Oh wow, thank you for following my journey for so long. So much has changed and happened. I am happy that you feel more connected and that my thoughts resonated with you. I think the only way to know is to try - if it has been on your heart to share the ups and downs, try it. But you don’t have to. I choose to because that’s part of me. I try to share the nice and the difficult parts more and hope it helps people feel seen. But no one needs to know all about us publicly so if you feel you rather not there is really no need. The person who commented after you, Imelda Green (Sebok Orsolya) is sharing her work in Hungarian. Maybe it is worth asking her how she found the decision to share in her native language? I was wondering how it would be to share in German for me but I even think in English now so it feels more natural. Nothing is set in stone either, you can always try something and then adjust :) lots of love from England
Hey! I just wanted to pop in and say, I am one of those who never comments. I get too much in my head, how I phrase this, and then I just move on. 🙃
About UA-cam and IG, I thi k you have to have an honest conversation with yourself: what do you want? What path in illustration you want?.... If you want to work in books, I feel the attention and your energy should be put in your portfolio.... in growing and evolving. In writting your books. Contacting agents, literary agents etc.
If you want to have more of an audience, to sell products or gi e online classes, then the focus should be more on social media.
You can do both but it can leave you exhausted.
I, personally take IG witha grain of salt, and post when I have something to show. Right now I'm doing and advent calendar ( and I am behind) but mostly for myself, to see what I want to draw and have fun.
Be kind with yourself, you take care of your family and on top of that you are building a career.
Hey Romina, so good to hear from your perspective. I think you hit the nail on the head as they say here in England. I want to reflect more on what I really want. I think in reality, as my pace is so gentle I would like to work on my books when it feels right. And UA-cam is to connect with people and share what I‘m up to, as I feel invisible since becoming a mother more often than not. This process of becoming a parent while also being a creative person is such a new journey and I hope it helps other mothers and creative parents feel seen and I think that‘s one of the most important reasons. Of course I‘d like to build „an audience“ aka people who would eventually love to read my books. I‘m not perfectly clear but reading your thoughts inspired me to think about it again and I think this is an ongoing process. I think Instagram has also taken a backseat for me where I only really share if I have something to say or announce. I loved seeing your advent calendar, I saw the first one and it made me feel cozy and perfectly happy approaching winter. I loved it ❤️ I keep reflecting on what you said and see how this journey develops. Less pressure more ease, especially at this time. I actually enjoyed drawing the next 6 illustrations after reading all the comments. It is nice that you are here. Even if it is digitally. Happy to have this wonderful group of people around me.
Hey, I’m also here listening. 😘
About the calendar: I have done some long-form projects like this before (like Inktober or my monthly LIVE paintings during the year) and I always find that people get bored with it. The first few pieces are usually well-recieved and then it gets boring. It really is alright to stop right in the middle if you don’t enjoy it anymore - and I’m saying this to myself as much as I say it to you, because I’m also the type of person who will push through. 😅
As for all the noise: I personally do not find youtube a very loud space - no doubt because I “trained” my algorythm to show me slow/rural living content. But I think it’s important to differentiate how you view it as a consumer versus as a creator. You might feel you don’t want to add more to the noise, but it’s not really up to you to decide that, is it? If people WANT to hear your noise, it’s their choice. I mean, the only part of the process you can control is the creation.
I am trying to concentrate on the creation process when I’m making videos (eg I enjoy learning new things about my camera, arranging my content in the most concise way, trying to find the angle that is best for a viewer, etc), and if the result helps people, great, if not, still great because I enjoyed the process. When I’m in a phase of my life where I don’t enjoy the process or when my energies are needed elsewhere, I don’t publish or post things.
This sounds rather hypocritical (is this word?), I know, because we all want reactions to our hard work, and I’m no different. I also get disappointed when the videos I find phenomenal simply don’t perform well - but I think it’s important to place the emphasis on the part that is actually in my control and not gain the most safisfaction from something that is up to chance.
Nice to hear you talking so honest and vulnerable! 😘
Hey, it is so nice to hear from you :D
I was thinking that it could just as well be what I watch/tend to click on. Two youtubers I really enjoy watching keep using those extreme titles and I rather them not but I guess it helps with getting attention. And this makes the algorithm think that I want more of those type of videos, ah well. If you have any recommendations for slow/cozy content I'm all ears :D
Focussing on the creation process was very helpful to get me out of this rut. After reading your comment I decided to focus more on making the drawings "mine" and make them more quirky rather than just traditional images found in advent calendars. The next 6 illustrations I made after posting this video were much more fun and I'm trying to see the reactions more light-heartedly. I also decided to edit a video a day instead of bulk editing. I think the editing became so boring that it killed my joy.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, it was so nice to hear your approach 😘
@@romicajones Oh wow, I'm really glad it helped you a bit - I find that the advice "focus on the process" is sometimes easier said than done - but it really does help me a lot, and I'm glad it did you, too.
As for cozy youtube content, my go-to channel is Jonna Jinton, but I find Leena Henningsen, The Cottage Fairy, and Annabel Margaret (or her other channel, the Green Witch) very calming too. It's just something about their voices - but then again, I'm into Scandinavia, snow and mountains. :D If it's more the artistic type of content you are looking for, Valerie Lin has been my absolute favourite lately, she is slow enough to go really deep with her topics. Another nice one I've found recently is Randi Lynn Reed. I think there is less substance there, but it's still very cozy and visually pleasing. I really like her choice of calm music too. I'm really interested if you like any of them, once you have the chance to check them out. :)
@@imeldaegreen thank you for all the channel suggestions. I don’t think I’ve heard of them before so that’s a nice thing to do over the next few months ❤️
Hey Romica, giving you a little shout-out today 😊🎄
A lot of things you said are also in my mind a lot. As an artist I want to make things and share them, but if I try to become more of a "content creator," am I just going to add more noise and distraction? I want to make things that inspire other people to be creative, not another reason to make people scroll. Making projects that are personal and that you put your heart and soul into, seems like they just aren't going to grab as much attention as the "loud" videos that you described -- but at the end of the day, which has more value to someone's life and which one is just grabbing another minute of attention? I guess that's the goal of UA-cam and other platforms -- to get as much of our attention as possible. (Even though I know that many people use these platforms for creativity, films, music, etc, so I don't want to degrade that. What you said about Patreon was interesting. In a way I wish that our online world could be made smaller, I guess that's a matter of personal choice. I don't think that human beings are designed to have this many distractions and so much overload of information, the demand on our attention is too much. So much about creativity is about being quiet and listening, open to possibilities, which we can't do if we're distracted).
I guess the thing to think about is whether the views and likes and follows from these content platforms is becoming more important than the reason we started making art in the first place. It's very easy to feel discouraged and like I'm also just talking to a wall, as you said. Sometimes I make something that happens to get lucky and the algorithm gives it to people who appreciate it, and other times it " flops." I have to find a way to keep making things and sharing them regardless of the result, and maybe find better ways to reach people than trying to win the algorithm.
Recently I have been trying to intentionally watch more films and read more books than scroll UA-cam or Instagram. I got really inspired actually by watching some films recently, which made me want to draw and write more. But it can be very hard to put down the phone that gives me instant distraction and entertainment, letting me escape from uncomfortable feelings and thoughts! 😂
I may have rambled a bit... just thank you for saying this and putting it out there. I hope that you find the inspiration you need to do what you really want to do. (I also really like the little mouse with the hot water bottle 🐭❤).
Hey Mary, so wonderful to hear from you and thank you for sharing your thoughts. I enjoyed reading your reflections. It is so nice to hear how others are seeing this topic and your comment definitely gives me food for thought, especially coming back to the reason why we are making art in the first place. Curating our consumption which in turn gives space and makes us feel more inspired to create is something I‘d like to try more. Loved hearing from you and thank you for taking the time to respond and for your kind words. I actually felt inspired after reading comments from people, so I created 6 new illustrations for the calendar and it felt joyful.
@@romicajones Wonderful to hear you are getting your inspiration back. Take care ❤🎄
❤
😀♥
lizard🦎
🦇 thank you