Should We Fear A Lonely Life? | The Age of Loneliness (Full Documentary) | Only Human
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- Опубліковано 26 вер 2024
- This documentary investigates the social isolation in modern society that many people of all age and class suffer from.
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![How We Became the Loneliest Generation [Documentary]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/I19btmIBhx0/mqdefault.jpg)
The worst thing is to be surrounded by family, and still feel alone. When your emotional needs are not met, and you use up all of your energy taking care of everyone else. Then when you need extra comforting and support, you get none. Lonely? Yes.
Amen
Get out and help others in need. We all need one another!!! Xoxo
Amen to that! I know exactly what you are talking about, and you hardly getting any hug, even if you ask for it, you get that look, as if you are past the stage of hugs, if there is any stage.
You can only change you, not them. Maybe time for a strike, a break, a new defined role. Take care of yourself.
That is the worst kind of loneliness and I speak from experience. I live isolated now and I am doing great. If I knew I could handle solitude so well I would have saved myself a world of heartaches and rejections decades ago.
I know how they feel. I am an only child. My parents were almost 40 when they had me. They died in their 70s. My ex husband had affairs and left me and soon my children left me as well. I’ve been lonely my whole life it seems. Nobody lives close to me. I go to church and have social gatherings on occasion. But I have no real friends. They are all good acquaintances. . If I had car trouble and was stuck on the side of the road, I don’t know who I would call. I understand how these people feel. The sad part is at this point, I have basically accepted being lonely. This is the way life is. They are very brave to talk about this on UA-cam. Good documentary. Thank you
Yes ❤️❤️🩹
Stranded on the road, no worries get AAA road side service. I would have anyone to call either.
I can relate to that. Its horrible
Strings 3609 i can understand you perfectly! Stay strong and healthy! I wish you a real happy New Year and God bless you!
My life aligns alongside yours. Under emergency contacts I've written 911...bc I gave nobody to call in case of emergency. Or to vent. Or to tell a funny joke or sharing an idea. Always alone. Still alone. Seems like a lot of people take having real family and friends for granted.
Being alone is far better than being around people that make you feel alone.
Totally agree.
Indeed you can be surrounded by people and family and still feel lonely, in fact if they are extremely busy and not really interested in you , that’s a horrible lonely feeling! Still don’t know why these lonely people are not amenable to giving an animal a home who needs it ?
"I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone."
Robin Williams
@@vk274 That quote came to mind. I have Robin's quote in my digital library. At some stage of one's life many people end up on their own. For example, their spouse, close friends and relatives have passed away. Children often move away from their parents and some end up moving overseas.
@colinsansom5924 Aloneness occurring in due course of life is OK, but when nearones cause it with intention to isolate, it becomes hurtful. I see these two as solitude and loneliness.
This is why we should always try to show kindness, you don’t know what other people are going through.
It's 100% better to be alone than to live with someone or people that you don't get along with just for the sake of not being alone.
Amen!
Please remember that when you’re tempted to get involved with someone your gut tells you is bad news! I look back & wish I had trusted my intuition.
💯 🙌🏼
but the hookers wont care for me in my declining years...
@@ailleananaithnid2566 you live and learned! same here older and wiser.
Not having meaningful conversations makes people lonely.
But not being able to do thing myself makes me lonely
If you're lonely read a good book or watch a movie and quit crying in your beer.
Exactly. One of the loneliest feelings is being surrounded by people yet there’s no one to really talk to. I mean really talk. About Earth. About being so aware of awareness. Being so aware of one’s existence here on a planet just hanging in some portal of a universe of mystery.
I think most humans are afraid of talking of this temporary existence do they stick up safe conversations aka small talk.
Can’t say I blame them, lol.
Sometimes, I wish my brain would do the same.
Being too deep makes people nervous.
@@leahmoonbeamflower333 Small talk is so tedious, it makes me irritable, but if you try to talk on a deeper level you can be ridiculed for it, so then its time to leave.
@@HookBeak_66 yeah.
And that leave is definitely a great idea.
Leave to write about all of these deep thinkings .
People who experienced living with toxic and abusive people rarely feel loneliness when living alone. They cherish and enjoy their freedom.
Exactly! My childhood was not that great, then my relationship was a nightmare and then living in halls and then shared student houses was a bloody nightmare. I now live on my own, and at 67 I’ve never been more content or happy. Just me and my cats. I love being alone. And I’m definitely not lonely.
@@borleyboo5613 i love cats and am happy for you! i loved the lady's dogs in the video!
So true
They may not feel sad about being lonely but they are lonely. Similar to Stockholm syndrome. Not even aware of the life your missing.
Yep!!!
I have been alone most of my life. Today is my birthday. I'm 40. After accepting that I may be alone I met the love of my life and now my wife. We both had known loneliness. And now we have each other and I never take it for granted as many do
Wow that's so beautiful. I hope I'm lucky one of these days.
Im about to turn 40 in a month. And 11 year single, never knew love in my life, a virgin of the heart. Solitudine is an old friend :) i came to term with the fact that i probably won't meet my partner, he just isn't. Sometimes i pray the angels to take me with them.
It's never been a problem with men,of course women need your cash
Just turned 40 2 months ago and it's brutal!
I'm 2 years away from it (includes this year) and I'm having constant panic attacks. Sometimes I think the only thing I can do is accept defeat in this life.
For the people who say that having children means that you’ll never be lonely, here’s the reality for a lot of people.
Ain't that the truth 🙄
My husband divorced me . He fell in love. My children grew up. My mom died . My world was all about my children . Now I am alone . I don't feel lonely I am alone .
@@carolynlyfordsullivan1377 Hi Carolyn. How are you getting along?
@@carolynlyfordsullivan1377 light, love and hugs
So true! For many people.
Some people are fortunate in their children caring so much for their parents that they make the effort to stay connected to their parents, grandparents, even great grandparents.
Then, there are people who devote many years of their lives to do the work, making sacrifices. Then, the children grow to adulthood, move out on their own. Contact with their parents slowly diminishes over time. There might even be a falling out or disagreement that the parent is unaware of as the son or daughter doesn't mention it.
Time goes by. Weeks, months, years.The parent may reach out with it being unacknowledged.
So, yeah, as a woman, the only guarantees in having children is that it will take up more or less, 9 months of your
life, it will change you, physically, in ways you didn't know it would. You will have many sleepless nights.
Beyond that, there are no guarantees that your children will care about you. In todays' world, most do not.
When I was in high school, I realized how much my grandma enjoyed my company. So I took time on weekends to go visit grandma & grandpa. It meant a lot to them, and I enjoyed hearing stories of what it was like when they were growing up. I realized that time is precious and they wouldn’t always be around. I continued to visit them even when I moved to another state. I’d always make plans to visit them whenever I made a trip back. They never failed to tell me how much my visits meant. They are both gone now, but I have no regrets about wishing I had more time with them because I feel like I made the best of the time when they were around.
I hope that my writing about this helps some young people brighten up the lives of their grandparents and their parents too. ✌🏼💖
My grandmother didn’t actually like me very much. Wasn’t interested in me in the slightest. So I don’t regret not spending much time with her. She visited my mother once when I was about 10 or 11. They were planning a weekend away. She asked my mother ‘what they were going to do with me’. She would have preferred it if they had left me behind. So I can’t say I miss her!
❤
What a lovely grand kid you have been to your grandparents. You will be looked after when you get old too
My mother told me once how she looks forward to my phone calls. Just that one time is all i needed even though a lot of the calls weren't always pleasant.
@@Hs000_00 maybe. no guarantees in life. Just do good because it’s your highest thinking…not in expectation of receiving same in return
I never was afraid of being alone. Especially, after experiencing how bad it can be having wrong people in your life being alone feels like a luxury holiday. Million times better!!
I call it having a honeymoon with one’s self. Highly addicting when you’ve got the hang of it.
I can tell
I totally agree, it breaks my heart to see people be so afraid of what I think is utter bliss. Watching this has just made me so darned glad I never invested 50 years in one person and ended up alone and friendless. So terribly sad.
I've been isolated 9 years alone not lonely. I love myself fully so never of loneliness but just alone.
Yes indeed
I grew up in Manchester through the 70s. I remember how friendly our street was. My dad regularly checked in on the older folks with a kind word. He had after all been their window cleaner for decades. He still makes an effort to talk to everyone, despite now being elderly himself. I think we’ve lost that as a society.
I think it might have to do with the number of hours that need to be worked nowadays to get some semblance of decent wages and benefits. Leaves no time for community connections. There's not enough paid time off. Not enough wages for there to be a single-income household.
@@Zayden.Marxistyeah I agree with this. It's such a shame but I think this is the clear reason. When people feel confident they have basic survival needs met and a few wants here and there, of course they are more likely to do random acts of kindness. It's horrible the way people fear debt, can't put their heating on or buy food. Ridiculous way to live.
Fantastic documentary. I'm struggling terribly with being alone. However, my dread of being alone lead me into a toxic and abusive relationship. Don't make that mistake.
Was once told:"In your moment of loneliness you see charm & beauty in a person where none exist".....how so very true.
Spend time with God and in his word everyday...he can deliver you from loneliness, and he will..just trust him. 🙏🇺🇲
Connection will come your way my friend - believe you deserve it too ❤💪
@@smoothbuddha7212
Exactly
@@thisisme3238 So true!
The level of honesty and bravery in this film is astonishing. My heart goes out to all those who feel alone - you are loved.
Thank you, Jim, for your kind words....they mean so much to so many, many
lonely people!!
Are we loved tho? Sighhh 😔 thanks for the coMment tho
This has given me inspiration to begin a social group in my community
@@sacha1386 love yourself , your important
❤
Don’t be afraid of being alone, it’s boring but you can definitely get by. Be afraid of being surrounded by people who make you feel alone… it’s a horrible feeling that leads to worthlessness…
Gee...I don't know.
I have spells where I feel so bad and lonely. After the hours spent in front of a screen or the little walks, or the little drives, you come back to the same old same old. Then you have to feed yourself and face the dreaded dishes.
This is why so many bad relationships are propped up by drink and/or recreational drugs. I know couples and families that are a complete mess, with little communication except arguing, or barely talking to each other. Then the booze comes out and for a few hours they think they're having a great time and are a wonderful unit. When they're sober again they're back glued to their phones and bickering about silly, petty nonsense. I'd rather live alone than have a dysfunctional life like that.
It's not boring at all for some personalities! It's not boring for me AT ALL. It is part of my problem, that I feel GREAT in my own companion and I feel bad or at least not so great in companion of others. Loads of people are similar to me. We have problems to join other people, not the other way around...
If you find out that you don’t enjoy your own company, then there is a problem. You can do what you want without making concessions with others and there are so many activities that you can enjoy. Desperation, boredom and neediness can be bad for your health.
@Allan Blessed Be Allan
For me being a 40 year old single man, ive lost my so called long time friends because they are in relationships and don't care or have time for me anymore, ive become an afterthought so this documentary really hits home for me.
Me also experience the same
Im 40 m as well and in the same situation. All of my circle of friends, siblings, cousins have a family or someone. I have no one 😢. This happening to others as well around the world. I think women hate average or below average men.😮
Same all friends have kids and partners and do not even contact me anymore and ignore my messages so done with them. I fill my time with working lots and volunteering at weekends so I do not think about being alone.
@@bluemoon8498I don’t hate average or below average men. I think the media pushes that idea. Average me are my target audience. 💜
It feels like too many gave up on love or marriage and commitment. I don’t want to be with someone and not have marriage and life long commitment be the goal.
I feel exactly the same way. I'm alone in life
I was married to my best friend for 35 years, he died 4+ years ago, what I miss most about him is being able to have a conservation.. I haven't had a hug from anyone in over 3 years so I would dearly love to give all of you a big hug!
Christi, Im a middle aged guy and you're making me cry. Sorry for your loss. Stay strong and don't stay at home too much.
Sending a big hug to you. We are strangers in the same boat so to speak. I was married for 44 years. My husband passed 5 years ago. You seem like a very kind person. I wish you all the best💕
Why not volunteer in something where children are involved? They are big huggers
@@agnesm_23 No one wants my hugs.
Huggs
Smile and the world smiles with you. Cry and you cry alone...that's why people dont open up about their depression and loneliness.
If that’s the way it is, maybe there’s a good reason for it.
@@Wisdom-Nuggets-Tid-Bits Crappy assessment!
All the worlds a stage, ..?........ well there are certainly many fake people
@@Wisdom-Nuggets-Tid-Bits Not really. It's basically common sense. The saying means if you walk around under a dark cloud people will avoid you. If you are more upbeat, involved, have interests people are more attracted to you. People also don't want to seem desperate, even if they are, so it can be a conundrum. That lovely older woman who said she loved people and had to look forward to one call a week seemed quite sad. The thought I was left with after watching this is that single seniors would be much better off in a building where they had small apartments but community rooms to meet and have activities.
For many they do not want to feel weak, especially men who are brought up to fest it up, and can be very depressed inside.For other is they "do not want to be a burden " .
Olive really broke my heart. I know when your kids grow up, they have families and lives of their own to tend to. But it's so soul crushingly sad that you have such a big family and at age 100 you fear you'll die alone. I just want to give her a huge hug and stop by a visit her at least once a week. I would if I didn't live in a different country.
Also, Bob is adorable. "I'm 93, I'm not old." God bless you man.
We all die ALONE, ain't nobody going with you.
@@wandasanders9043 No, nobody goes with you. But when you talking about dying alone, most people are referring to the lack of friends and family around them at the time of their passing and the days and weeks leading up to it. My mom was a nurse and she said her biggest fear was dying alone after seeing so many people die in the hospital with no family or friends to be with them.
Heather H, I agree. Truth be told though, most of us probably have an Olive living close by us. May even be that neighbor who smiles and says hello when she/ he sees you, yet they don't seem lonely. Maybe we can find ways to offer that ''Olive'' branch. Post flyers about starting a couple days per week of early evening walks...people with mobility issues welcome of course. It's not for a work out, it's about connecting with others. A walk also wont exclude those on a low /set income. Heather, it's clear you have a caring heart and I'm sure you'll find ways to connect with others. I once watched a documentary where a home bound elderly man ended up reading a ''lets meet our neighbors'' flyer on his front door. He called the number on that flyer and connected with a 19'ish year old living directly across the street from him. She taught him how to skype, which has opened up his social life (even connecting with long lost family members). He has so many stories to share, and he's taught this neighbor how to play board games, cards, keeping a journal and so much more. She found in him an amazing grandpa and buddy. His family now considers her family too. I clearly got that neither the elderly man nor his neighbor from across the street are lonely.
@@alocinder6573 If a person say there are lonely who are you to say otherwise, old does not mean stupid.
@@heatherhillman1 i often wonder why animals are not introduced to people in these circumstances,a cat or dog could give great comfort
This is so foreign to me, I don't think I've ever felt a negative emotion about being alone. For more than 20 years I was trying to break free from toxic people who were delusional and wanted to control everything about me. Being alone is a blessing to me.
Most people are social. It is basic to humans and most animals
lonliness is not healthy although some choose it
This type of documentary is supposed to make us accept that it’s loneliness that will kill us early and not the side effects of of a certain jab ! I know many people who maintain they are lonely but they do not invest themselves in anything or others for that matter . Being lonely to me means your family abandoning you in some horrible care Home you don’t want to be in but that is also betrayal.
You must have loved it when Covid hit.
@karimtabrizi376 I don't think anyone chooses loneliness as a preference by itself. Cost benefit analysis forces people to choose loneliness over toxic or exploiting relationships.
Being "alone" and being "lonely" are NOT the same thing. Personally, I have been an introvert all my life and in the last decade I have finally learned to embrace it. I was always told to go here , go there, be with these people be with this group and I NEVER really liked it. When I look back on my best most memorable times in life, most of them were on my own. I always felt like an outsider because I was not in the "FOMO" group. I truly love my own company. Anyway, learn to love yourselves and DO FOR OTHERS. Give of yourselves because we all have soooo much good to share and to give others. I don't care who you are or where you live. Volunteering will for sure connect you to others on a very primal level. When you help others it is soooo satisfying. Do for others all. God Bless you all.❤
@ Debbie Lee : Hello, Debbie we are on the same page. I learned not to be so lonely by being active ,I think I am used on being alone as an only child. I would rather enjoy my own company reading books, or busy doing things .I feel I am wasting my time on others idle chitchat. You all said things about me Thanks, and God Bless.
I'm with you on the alone, not lonely. I often feel happier doing my own thing, though also enjoy some socializing for variety. Because people are social animals that need is always there, but I recommend quality over quantity. I'm concerned that populations are really aging, but assisted living is already unaffordable for most. Elderly people really can't live alone because getting out & about becomes impossible. Have you ladies considered that?
Thank you, Debbie! Alone does not mean lonely. I agree. With God in my life I found out I am never lonely.
What does FOMO mean, though?
@@seagal-1 I respectfully disagree that as a rule elders cannot get out and about and that it is impossible for them to live alone. For some that may be the case, but not all. As an elder you find that the path you choose opens up to you more and more. Some elders may be led to choose a Wisdom path to God in which all blessings can be found. Elders most definitely have their places. Not all are the same, regardless of what the current identity politics would like us to believe regarding this particular demographic
PopTech culture, that many take their cues from because they mistakenly think it holds answers to Life for them, will disappoint if they place their faith in it longterm. Such an attachment, allegiance, focus or dependence on youth, trends, medicine or acquisition of possessions.......all this will deteriorate and decay as one ages. We will either embrace the fullness of the present here and now by turning back to God the Creator who has the power to make things new in that present or we will be clinging to resentment and bitterness as life goes on if we refuse a change of heart. Our choices.
I love being alone. Im 57
I lost my husband of 38 years suddenly a few months ago. I have found that all the friends and family, all the social life in the world, does not alleviate the pain of being lonely for a person who you will never see, hear, or touch again. It's unbelievably painful and never completely goes away. Volunteer all you want, socialize all you want, get a hobby, get pets. None of that touches the loneliness of grief.
Losing a loved one is the most painful thing on earth.
@@SamSteeles 😢😢😢😢
I hope time is helping your pain ❤
So very sorry for your loss ❤️
I agree it is difficult. , Our father died Dec,19,2017 going on 5-1/2 years now and it is not getting better. Losing a family member is tragic indeed. It changes your life you live with that emptiness that free floating depression all the time. All is left is good memories and now another new chapter in life like being reborn. Though like a saying I heard you have to say to yourself I am alive I will survive and we must as bad as life may be.
Alone can be good opposed to someone deceiving you, hitting you, insulting you...sharing a bed with a monster. I've been alone for along time.
you are so correct better to be alone then living with a narcissist monster right now
very true, I have lived that nightmare several times. However knowing its better to be alone than being in a a mentally, physically abusive situation doesnt keep one from feeling lonely.
I cannot understand why people remain in such abusive situations. I can understand people making a bad choice. But then choosing to stay in it? That's insane!
@@AussieChic968 looking back on it...how well I know. I guess you get dicknof when you get sick of it and finally realize...this isn't love at all.
:) yes, at least for a bit.
Wow. What an incredibly moving documentary. I'm writing this in tears. How ironic that Dorothy talked about people not being too impacted by her death, yet here I am, a total stranger, moved to tears to hear of her passing.
Beautiful comment ❤
Same here
Me too
I am a 50 year old Japanese woman. I live with my family, but they leave home early in the morning and come home after10pm. I’ve been feeling lonely for a long time, but haven’t been able to share it with anyone, which makes me even more lonely. I think people in this video are wonderful bravely admitting their loneliness and sharing it with others. I love and admire such honest people and I can relate to them from far east side of the earth.
You are still young at 50 just go outside make friends and tell your family how you feel
Our life is a mystery why are we here what is the purpose? And why most of us end up lonely I guess God only knows
@@petervalovic5504 Well said. My guess is everyone is subject to generational curse starting from Adam, the first man. And we'll pay the consequences until we return to dust. Even though Jesus Christ paid in full for our sins theoretically. So, the best gift one can give to their own kids ,, is not to bring them into this system and make them endure curse all over again.
🤗💐
My prayers go out to you. I once felt the same. I met a wonderful Japanese lady and she moved here to be with me. I learned a lot about Japan and Japanese work culture. I understand how toxic overwork can be. I love Japan and hope to liv3 there one day. But would never want to work there.
Being alone does not mean loneliness. I systematically got rid of most people in my life. I've never been happier. People are dramatic, sucked my energy, led me around, over-rode my needs and preference, even bullied me. People are arrogant, over whelming, aggressive, obnoxious, narcissistic, demanding, energy vampires. I now spend my days loving my pets, learning new exercises, meditating, reading, writing, watering my plants....ahhh, yes, 😌
fake people everywhere
Me too, I love my solitude 😍🥰🤩
@@muchspice2189 💯 great.
that's because you are a vegan.
I see it in exactly the same way 😊
Better to be alone than in a bad marriage. When you lived through a life dealing for years with abusive emotional outbursts from your partner, spouse whatever being alone can be like paradise.
I survived my parents marriage which was horrible.. No surprise I never married. I am 65 and since retirement have felt really lonely. But I want to fix it. Considering moving where there are lots of things to do. And will be near family. We’ll see how it goes.
I agree
@@garimaheath it's not really better. It's like saying hunger is better than eating bad food.
What did he do to cause his partners outburst?!!!
@Islamis Ashitreligion your a woman hater...
I was alone for 6 years before I met my husband. It was awful. The worst part was when I was surrounded by people but not connecting with them. The dating scene was awful, absolutely soul destroying.
So, how did you snag your husband after 6 years of possibly looking/seeking? Are you happier now at marriage life?
@@j.l.salayao8055 I met him in a Dungeons & Dragons chat group on Facebook. We started out as friends. Then we met in person on a road trip to New Orleans (he was living in the US I was in the UK). After I came back to the UK I returned to the monotony of the eternal first dates. He bared his soul to me and told me he developed feelings for me and I thought: 'why not? here's a guy who calls me everyday despite being 4000 miles away and I'm trying to get guys in the UK to commit to texting me back. What've I got to lose?' We dated for 3 years going to each others countries. I'm much happier now that I'm married. It's little things like having someone to discuss a movie or TV show with or look after you when you're sick. The 9th of October will be our 2nd anniversary.
I agree, it was so awful I stopped. I would rather be alone.
No matter what you do or with who you are in life in the end you will always feel lonely
6 YRS AINT S H IT
I’m 43 and single but I’m pretty content in my own company. What scares me is meeting someone who makes me believe that I can be happy with them only for the opposite to happen and then to live my life in loneliness with someone who isn’t in love with me or doesn’t value me and my life.
Exactly...trust issues with others
Yes... Be VERY careful who you give yourself to. All young people should be taught about this BEFORE they start being romantically involved and especially physically involved. We were NOT taught this ever! I heard that cow joke way too late!... Why should a man buy a cow when he can just milk her through the fence.... If I had heard that as a young teen I could have avoided a whole lot of trouble. And especially if I had been given spiritual wisdom about the whole situation...But many parents are not teaching and equipping their children how to live a GODLY LIFE.
You are so Wise as this is so true. I had a wonderful boyfriend of two and one half years. We married and he changed immediately. Like, who are you? Where did you go? He was angry and antagonistic for the next 17 years. He was into hid work, sports, drinking and smoking. Then at 44 years of age a divorce brought me happiness and contentment. It was a wonderful relief from hostile negativity.
If you don't take chances... you will never experience things and grow.... Take the Chance and Feel
@@joannebrooks1211 Don't stereotype us men in that way. The cow joke is demeaning.
Plenty of women exploit and manipulate men too. I would know. So would two of my divorced friends whose wives basically controlled them for 20 years.
A very moving documentary. I live in France, when I retired five years ago I decided to visit the residents of a nursing home with my therapy cats. It is so rewarding to see the elderly people smiling when they see us arrive on our weekly visits. Some of them never have visitors and sometimes we pay a surprise visit at the weekend because I know it is when they feel the loneliness even more acutely. The presence of my cats usually helps them reminisce about the pets they had when they were younger, they share memories, sometimes very distant ones, which is always amazing when the resident happens to be a person suffering from Alzheimer's disease. Thank you for this realistic and sensitive film.
Every nursing home should have resident pets 24/7. I think it can help people come out of their shells, transition into moving into the home, etc.
I'm not saying everyone, but many who are alone in care facilities are alone for a reason. Many are old narcissists who have burned their bridges and hurt family and friends along their life journey, using every person that they can to get what they want, and not caring who they leave behind in their wake of greed and ego. If you are not from a narcissistic family, you will not understand this, but I speak truth.
@@purpleturtle7477 I think probably holds true for many in the US, but westen culture doesn't hold the elderly in as high esteem as our asian counterparts. With so many US companies doing away with traditional pensions, the generation that's currently 0-25 yrs old will have to shoulder either the costs of nursing home care for their parents or have them in their own homes.
Thank you for the wonderful idea. I have been wanting some outlet that is helpful to others. I'm going to look into doing something similar. Blessings, peace and love 💕
@@purpleturtle7477 Your point of view on old narcissists is so very true! They
are all alone, because of their selfish and damaged egos!! Thanks for
sharing a very insightful comment!
Let’s not minimise a person’s pain by comparing with what we believe to be a worse experience. Feeling lonely with others and feeling lonely when alone - BOTH can be incredibly painful experiences.
Only for idiots!
So true
thank you
👍💯
I think feeling lonely with others is worse
There's a huge difference between solitude... and loneliness. People preferring solitude isn't unhealthy. It's loneliness we need to worry about.
And people saying " to live or hang out with a ***** kind of person" - it's better to stay lonely is like " it's like anyways we are gonna die so why we need to succeed or achieve in life " .
We are social animals. Sure there are introverts.
Solitude that you choose
Is very different to loneliness that you are forced into because of the loss of a partner through divorce or death .
We can busy ourselves with hobbies or entertainments-
But at the end of each day there’s no one to whom how your day went is important.
What I’ve discovered at 79 is having no one to care for or give to can be very sad making.
The family I have live in another country.
I have my cat.
Love him to bits
But he’s not much of a conversationalist.😺
It's easy to combat loneliness by being at peace with solitude or finding a hobby and getting a pet.
What judgement is that ???? Solitude is not healthy ?? Really ??? Better be living with monsters, deranged humans, rapists, murderers, people who put you down, who hit you, who mistreat you, right ??? Is this your definition of healthy ??
You could have said, that loneliness is sad because we are meant to be social, but I'd rather be lonely than surrounded by monsters.
@@Mithra53 Hello. There seems to be a misunderstanding here somewhere. Which words gave you that impression?
Yesterday I was speaking to a white man who does charity work in Ghana and he was sympathizing with the poverty there. I am from East Africa and told him that the people there are more sorry for them because life in the West is so empty. My own mother who is a grandmother is never alone as there are people checking in on her all the time. People in developing countries may look like they are suffering by media standards but our lives are much more rich than what is being shown in this video if you really dig deeper.
I totally agree!
very true am east african too living in the gulf...home is so different we check on old people, theres always a nosy neighbour etc...oldies spend the day at shopping centre laughing away telling stories..as much as money is good its not everything. we like eating together. I have travelled alot and at the end of day africa is in my heart
Different strokes for different folks.
Hi Sofia, I'm Submarine get in touch, oh I remembered to attend your wedding in Portsmouth
"Alone" means freedom. To go where and when you choose. To sleep, eat, read, watch TV, do your hobbies whenever you please. You have no obligations to anyone else. If you are all alone, you are all your own. It's wonderful!
It the same thing. You must be an introvert
We share the same sentiment. I don't have any children and been living independently for many years now..Alone but never lonesome and enjoying every minute of it!
Damn straight! I was stuck in a miserable family. Then I got stuck brainwashed in a Jesus freaks cult. Then 6 years stuck with a depressed female who wouldn't talk to me. I could go on but it's better to be alone any day because no one really cares about you anyway. Well, that's been my 64 year experience. And I've done so much for So many people.
I agree, you don't have to worry about someone else's feelings. You don't have to have someone questioning your behaviors, that's my favorite part of being alone,don't ask me WHY I'm still in bed.
I agree.
So sad to hear that Dorothy passed on 😢 She seemed so sweet and fun to be with....Rest in peace, dear Dorothy. ❤
Dorothy is with her hubby now, im sure he was there at the end holding her hand❤
Most people just suck being around. They don’t subtract from your loneliness, they just end up driving you into isolation where you will find respite.
True. But I think the nuclear family is not how it should be.. we should be living with at least part time seeing folks being in close contact, so we lack that connection alot of us because of the way it's set up.. I think farm family is the best.. anyway.. js
Never realized that others are going through similiar life experience as myself. I'm 65, have no family or friends really.
Malka I know how you feel I just turned 60 😳 I'll be your friend
@@jasminejones9937 Why, thank you Jasmine. This I find very kind. 🌹
@@jasminejones9937 You sound like a very lovely person, Jasmine.
I’m 50, I’ll be your friend. Me and my dog Benny. Sending love and hugs from Hawaii!
@@main2333 aloha! Thanks, 🌹🥰 that's most kind. I'm an animal lover as well!
I'd like to add somehting to that: single person households doesn't mean you are lonely. The time I was married was actually the loneliest time of my life. I'm single now but I don't feel lonely anymore since I reconnected with some people and made 2 important friendships. I enjoy living on my own btw.
i've known more than a few women over the years that were lonely, bored, unhappy and they all had live in bf's. what is wrong with that picture?🤔
@@lisabradford8180 You're right. Although I also met men who were just as lonely and miserable even though they were married. Only men don't open uo about that as easily. I think our society still sees those kind of "complaints" as a weakness. It's sad and not fair.
hear hear. Same here
✔
@babybreathin blossom your story is exactly my story. To be in a marriage and experience loneliness is the worst whereas being alone does not mean that you are necessarily lonely. All the best to you living your best life
Note to self: Keep in touch with good friends ALWAYS.
What's lonelier than being lonely is having friends or family that shame, put you down, belittle you and just don't give you the time of day just so they can elevate themselves and feel better about themselves. Bonus point if they have an audience that's really gonna hit your self-esteem and confidence
Or banish you? Historically banishment meant certain death which is why it stirs such overwhelming emotions.
banishment from those degenerate doesn't sound bad at all. I know what you mean though when you're at your most vulnerable (early childhood) you don't see it that way and it's scary
Thank you! One of my sons seems to have gotten things I cherish from me. My husband died. Both my sons insisted I give a ring to a girl and she lost it. She got my dog. The dog doesn’t know me. Alone caused me to make bad choices.
I resonate with this comment. I spoke up and now they don't treat me in any way other than complete silence oh well.
or married to a narcissist lonelierthan being alone I cant wait to be free If he doesnt kill me
I never felt lonelier, more invisible, isolated and disrespected as a human being over the years than in my long marriage. Now 15 years post-divorce I´m the happiest I´ve ever been in my adult life. And I am very fortunate that in old age I still have my wits about me, am physically mobile and have the means to live simply but still pursue most of my interests. Sure, there are low days but nothing that a long walk, a short train ride into town just to rub shoulders with people or a good dig in the garden can´t take care of. It´s so important to get out of the house. More often than not, I end up chatting with someone. It´s so sad, so surprising when even young people in this age of advanced communication suffer from loneliness and are so weighed down with depression that they can´t leave the house. Despite all the technological means to communicate, so many of us seem to be losing our interpersonal communication skills, are missing the warmth and satisfaction of a personal, face-to-face chat, planned or random.
I agree with you.
I love my alone life.
When I need ppl, all I have to do is go out to eat at a restaurant and chat with the server and I'm good! And I definitely was much worse off when I was with my husband. I was lonelier with my husband.
Ditto
Agree I have voiced the same comments as you have and now that I am no longer with that partner which was the loneliest miserable time in my life, there's no looking back. I don't need a replacement partner as I do keep myself happy busy and social doing a variety of things that I love to do, with who I want to do it with, and when I want to do it, often Im doing things in my own company and I have fallen in love with my own company too !
Actually I agreed, for those who are lonely.
after you get into bad relationships then you realise being alone is actually quite liberating actually
I'm lonely and looking to expand my social circle, can we talk?
I was married for 27 years. I was lonely for a time after my divorce, until I decided to be happy alone. I see it as plenty of room in bed, no one to try and please, no one to argue with, no one to lie to you and hurt you. That makes me happy. I wear a wedding ring to distract any advances. Instead, I am happily in love with God and he is enough. I am alone not lonely.
❤❤❤ YES!
Amusing, but that is ok. I love me too.
Smart
God Bless you Amen.
Yes, loneliness is a choice. Or you can choose to enjoy being alone
Totally can relate. Lost my husband 3 days before Christmas of 2019, my Mother 4 months later. Covid hit and went into isolation mode. Loneliness and depression go hand in hand. I feel for anyone who is in this same boat.....
So sorry. That’s awful
Hang in there, it will get better
I lost my brother November 2019 while I was hospitalized because of an emergency life threatening incident ...... He was hospitalized.... Last I remember could tell him was that he was in good hands.... I still can't believe he left.... My hands were bound.... I had to be brought to the emergency the day after because I was paralyzed on my left part of the body..... Even I live alone I have friends who want me to live with them.... I am far away.... It will take time until I will be able to move and go and live with them.... One step at a time.... Next step is to get all my check up health wise while I prepare my paper work for going back to the country where all of friends live.... Stay focused to your goal is very important 💞👏🎂🍀👌💕🌹
I'm sending you my fraternal love. 🌻🌹
I found my inner joy time and expanded it ...
As a natural loner, I do not perceive loneliness in the same way so many other people do. For me, solitude is life giving. I thrive on it. I also believe that relationships, particularly romantic ones, are severely overrated as the supposedly ultimate source of happiness and connection.
amen to that. agreed.
Yes. People are different, though.
Solitude and feeling alone are not the same thing.
You took the words right out of my loner mouth! Solitude does not equate lonely. I am at my best and most contented when I am all alone in my peaceful little home.
Romantic love is nothing but toxic competition.
I have felt lonely my entire life no matter how many people are around. I think the root of it lies in the fact of my parents constantly telling me how much they did not want me, so I have never felt wanted. I've been married five times and lived with a dozen or more partners and I always leave before they have a chance to out of fear. At times the pain of loneliness hurts so bad I want to die and have attempted suicide 26 times. I finally have not been in a relationship for five years now and I'm actually doing much better actually being alone physically. I don't want another human being or animal to ever feel like I do so I spend my days riding the bus or walking around talking to everyone who looks lonely or sad and try to help them and this helps me so much. Even as a child I went to convalescent homes and visited lonely strangers just so they wouldn't feel like me. I wish I could hug the whole world and make them feel loved and never lonely again
I can relate to your story. What a wonderful way to work through the issues.
You're an angel 😇
My heart breaks at hearing about your parents' cruelty. Don't you believe it for a moment, Judy! The Living God created you wonderfully in His Own Image and according to His Beautiful Likeness. He wrought you tenderly and lovingly in your mother's womb. He Himself came into this dark and hate-filled world to pay for your sins and mine by His Beloved Son's innocent Blood, so that believing and trusting in Him alone for your redemption, you might eternally enjoy His Love and Peace as His precious daughter! He has already opened your broken heart and filled it with love and compassion for people who suffer the way you - AND He! - have suffered. You're an inspiration. May you be richly blessed every day. If you don't already, may you come to know our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ and know true Shalom Peace in Him, for only He is truly Sufficient.
If you could find a spiritual life that would help. Some can; some can't but if you can find God, that could heal you.
Judy, that is absolutely horrible! Words caanot express how bad I feel for you.
I'd rather die alone than maybe getting involved w another person that makes me utterly miserable. I get lonely, but then I remember what I've been through. I have my pet cat to keep me company, and I read a lot.
Its not like those are the only two options, jesus christ.
Sandi you need to take chances in life. Start a relationship slowly, as friends. Test the waters. Intimacy is important. Making love to someone you care about is a beautiful experience.
Cats and books are enough for me, too. Plus flowers, home cooked meals, and the moon.
At 74 (and a half!) I've had relationships/companions of all sorts from roommates to a spouse, but ultimately I've found that the best relationship has always ever been with myself and living on my own with pets has been FAR less stressful. I love the idea of this lady having a tea party for the elderly who ARE lonely. She's filling the lonely void for others while filling the one in herself as well. Brava! 💕🕊️☮️
Please study Islam without any prejudices.
@@ikram2326 I have and just like with any other religious message, there is beauty in truth .. however it's packaged.🕊
Exactly. You are the 1 person you will be living with for the rest of your life. The 1 constant in this ever fluctuating world. I wish more ppl would decide to like themselves and live happily ever after with themselves 😊
I like nothing better than being alone - especially on Thanksgiving with an apple pie and vanilla ice cream, watching the Macy's Parade and Purina Dog Show. I may get a pet someday though. No kids, no spouse.
Well said
I’m so happy I quit social media. No Facebook, no Instagram, never had a tiktok. I don’t compre my life to anyone else’s in unrealistic ways anymore and my brain feels much happier.
It's the paradox of modern society: so connected and yet never ever felt so loneley
Many people PREFER being alone; more relaxed, stress-free, when they're by themselves.
Exactly.
And no drama or abuse.
But there's a huge difference in being alone and being lonely. It's possible to be in a crowded room and yet be lonely. I believe that's what some of the people in this documentary are saying. js
Absolutely true!
@@lindalayne8378 With a labrador you're never alone.
" Old? I'm not old! I'm 93." My father said pretty much the same thing with a look of complete astonishment on his face. Miss him so very very much. 💔
yeah so funny many we need to change that definition since those over 80 do not feel it describes them ha ha
In my experience, it seems nobody I meet is looking to make new friends. They already have their families and their "friendship quota" is filled to capacity. They don't have room for any additional relationships. It would be so wonderful if we could somehow know who the lonely people are and bring them together. The answers to our problems could be right on our street, but we pass right by them without knowing how much a new friend would mean to them. That's the saddest part of all -- there are lonely people everywhere who would no longer be lonely if they could somehow get on the same page.
I think a lot of the friendship quota that is filled to capacity arose from organic situations, at school, work and neighborhood. The idea of just randomly aggregating people together will have very limited to no real results as far as formation of genuine connections and friendships. There has to be a sense of purpose and togetherness about life and its prospects in general. In my experience, in the way society is currently structured, that sense of purpose and togetherness comes about in the school years and early career years the most. The friendship quota more or less has reached max capacity by then. After that it's all about survival, paying bills, having household/family responsibilities, keeping up with the jones's.
I will be your friend, honest
I have found the same but I will also add it does NOT matter if you share you have no one and would like to make friends even in church groups......they don't care.....period.
My grandmother was a BIGGEST example. She had 12 children and at the end not one there for her ,after my grandfather DIED. Not one was there for her she suffered, terrible. Until I couldn't take it anymore and took her to live with me .sadly she PAST away 3 years after, it broke my soul, I wish I had her longer with me .u will always cherish her memory .my advice to us ALL pay attention to people around you just a smile can make a great difference in someone's life. Tell random people how beautiful they're it goes a long way .we're all human being. And I don't know why we have become heartless human beings...stay bless everyone reading this.
12 children, she gave her HEART, and SOUL, and not one was willing to CARE of her, like she CARED for them. Unbelievable, how could all of them treat her that way? They will PAY for their WRONGS, and TRANSGRESSIONS.
That's sad - but there must be a reason that her children were not there for her.
@@wandasanders9043 sometimes family breakdown . Hurt growing up. Child abuse. Mum not aware of. No support. It is very sad. Something in her own childhood, marriage may be cause and affects as well. People do have such awful put upon them in this world.
@@marywest6844 just be kind for our parents,thats it
@@wandasanders9043My mother is bedridden and wants at least a phone call. I rarely call. She was so controlling and religious that I dropped out of medical school because she didn't want me to be a doctor but have children and be a wife. Once I married, she kept begging me to move back and live with her. I did multiple times until it ended my marriage. She still has her husband that she never loved and I finally don't feel like I owe her anything. I am done feeling guilty and I became an atheist, now she can't manipulate me with her Bible.
I found that High School was one of the lonelier times of my life. You are constantly trying to fit into crowds, but I had trouble. You may be surrounded by students all the time, but if you don't have any friends, High School can seem like a very lonely place and a very dark place.
Yeah, I was in a city of 2 million people, but still alone. If you try talking to someone, they thing you are crazy. I got to understand the homeless people wandering around aimlessly talking to themselves. I know why, caus I'm doing it too, (except for the wandering around aimlessly part).
i could never fit in too in high school. Awful experience.
True a very dark lonely place.
Thank goodness its all over n behind me.
Leaves emotional scars though. MADE ME STRONGER.............
Same here it was really dark times for me
I’m learning to live alone, and to love it. I lost my husband of 32 years, three months ago. I have been telling young adults, for years, to embrace their loneliness, for, one day they will be alone. I’m heartbroken 💔 and destined to be the lonely widow on the hill. No one will ever replace my genius of a husband. ❤️
Helping others is THE best way to reconnect with yourself and get you out of your feeling of being lonely. Love never ends. Love saves lives.
There is a difference in loneliness and being alone. You can be in a room full of people and be lonely.
absolutely!!
Not only it's true, but I've never felt lonelier than among a group who surround me but I'm not a part of.
Yes especially if they dont understand you .
So true about social media. Everyone thinks other people are living great and happy lives because they make it look that way. When in real life they are struggling with major problems with their kids and are mad all the time. People don't really show the truth on social media.
In my Facebook friends group, there are many lonely introverts who talk about all sorts of issues including their anxiety and depression. Not all of social media is always "the greatest hits"; one has to search out like people to share with. It has helped me a great deal in the last decade. It's a comfort to know that many people have feelings and experiences like mine.
The Petito case proofs your point.
Agree 100%
Agree completely!!
@@sct4040 And this is only one example.
The grass is not always greener... Many times, there isn't any.
I envy people who have been lucky enough to have had a fifty year marriage, as someone who suffered from childhood depression and has had a bad marriage.....my loneliness continues.
Learn to love your own company. Be your own best friend and treat yourself. Don't wait for others to do it for you. It will only make you desperate and attract the wrong kind of people. Those who will use you or treat you like a pet project.
I feel yr pain so true
You have to keep finding things to be interested in. Now with the internet, the world is at your fingertips, you're only limited by your imagination. There are supplements that help with depression. Someone told me Prozak is a miracle drug.
Aww I feel bad for you. I hope things improve for you. if I were there id hug you & make tea & chat often
@@sparklemotion8377 That's not the right advice! This person's 80 ish FFS!
In a world where most people are insane, living a lie, and full of illusions. Please leave me alone. It's better to be alone and to know that you are alone than to wake up next to someone and nevertheless to be alone.
Agree with you… nothing worse than waking up next to someone and feeling lonelier than ever. Would rather stay single and try to keep occupied with hobbies and try to get out there to meet people 😌
I agree with the lady on the moors. The main triggers for loneliness is bereavement and relationship breakdowns, which both bring complete sadness followed by overwhelming depression, which brings isolation. Very sad experience for any human. I think people who do not understand or connect with this subject, are either lucky or oblivious.
Yes, it is sad and one needs to grieve. But, eventually, you have to accept the reality and try to live in the present, consider the future and try to move on, emotionally because the past is gone. It will never return. But you're still here, alive and need to somehow pick up the pieces and try to live your new life as best you can. It usually improves, once you start trying to go again...
@@AussieChic968 Thank you for your words of wisdom. All you said
is so very true!! Thanks for sharing your comment, it literally " made
my day"!!!
I'd love to live on the moors, or anywhere away from everyone. Usually people are the ones who depress me. Thankfully, I live in a nice place where it's easy to isolate. The few times that I want to be social, I just go to the large TV room (with the beautiful fireplace 😊)and talk to others. About 30 minutes weekly is enough socializing for me.
I knew in my last relationship if he breaks up I stay alone because I m tired to be cheated upon. Turns out he was a prostitute, after 5 years I found out by chance. I needed years alone to recover, and I still can't date, I am not sure if I ever will.
I am naturally a bit of a loner. I never married or had children. I wasn't bothered by the Covid restrictions on socializing for well over a year. Then, like a ton of bricks it hit me. Lonliness for the first time took a seat and stared into my face. It's been good. I've had time to process my natural way of being and decided I need to work towards connecting on a deeper level with people for balance and a richer life experience. I am a bit clumsy with connecting with others but I am able to enjoy aspects of this journey.
I'm a 61 yr Hispanic lady in Tucson Arizona and I've been lonely for years already, I always thought I would have kids and a husband. But instead I got two divorces and no children, so all I know is loneliness.... I've cried many times and many years. It's really amazing to see people who live to be a hundred years old! Wow! Death doesn't seem bad at all but living is more scary than dying
You've got a friend 🙌🤝👐😊😊❤️❤️
Yes, me too❤. I'm 60, I haven't any children. Married once and divorced.
this makes me so happy, people connecting thru this
i can be your friend
What an amazing film. I am lonely like the people in it. I have actually searched for content on loneliness before and never found anything worthwhile. This film just popped into my feed today. So sensitively and beautifully done. To see my own thoughts and feelings expressed by others…I felt less alone. Sometimes the loneliness can feel like some singular persecution, some special indictment. But, not at all. I am far from the only person to experience this, and that I am experiencing it doesn’t mean I’m a bad, specially flawed, person. It is some comfort.
Sending you a big hug and a smile. At this very moment, you are not alone because I am thinking of you! Take good care! ~Abbie in Boston 🌷☀️☕️
That’s very kind. Thank you. 🙏🏻
Sending you a hug from Boston as well…☺️
Beautifully stated.
Thank you for this documentary.
Olive has 17 offspring. They should be throughly ashamed. The fact their Matriarch is telling everyone she's lonely on here. I would be so ashamed if my Mum was on this doco.
Christine and son Ian, very sad situation.
Dorothy ❤😥 lovely lady x
truley SHAMEFUL...that sweet woman...oh my gosh
Well maybe she was not a good Mother…. Young today are too busy for Old people. Thats what they have been taught.
I hate ‘victim blaming’ but honestly that’s what I thought, too. How could you not care for your mother when she devoted her life to you? Maybe they have bad personal situations. We just don’t know enough but I do agree with you 💯
The children are not her fallback plans!
Maybe they live elsewhere? She didn't say. I think people that age should live in some sort of community housing where they can easily socialize in or near the building. In today's world people are busy surviving, working, maybe raising children of their own. I had older friends & relatives when I was younger that I barely found the time to see. I think the lesson here is to look ahead and plan to live your own life. You can't count on others to be there. People are living much longer, so it is entirely possible to outlive mates and friends. As far as children go, not many want to include their parents in their lives unless their early years were exceptional. Even then, our culture has changed. No easy answers.
I am from the United States. I was in Great Britain when I was in my 20's,I am now 75. I remember the wonderful people I met while in your country. To anyone there I wish you love, health and the knowledge that I wish I was with you again. GOD watch over all of you. Wanda from Michigan USA.
Aww, bless you Wanda. You have a kind heart!
@Wanda: What a lovely thing to say! Greetings from Canada; my birthplace is England!
😊❤
There are people that are extraverts and introvert. Modern life really works well with extraverts. People that are easy going & easily make friends. They have connections to church, social groups or extended family. For the introverts, it's a bit more challenging. I really believe that introverts do better with old friends & family in small communities. It's important to keep friends even if you are in a relationship/marriage. It's good to reach out to other people.
Yes, make friends in the same boat especially. They understand the loneliness and managing things by yourself. It is harder for introverts or people who struggle with shyness, or people who feel like they are misfits. Not everyone has family. I lost married friends because they do things in couples. You really need your single friends. You really need someone who connects with you. Friends are a gift from God. So thankful for them.
GOD BLESS YOU OLIVE AND ANYONE ELSE OUT THERE WHO FEELS ALONE .
16:27 for 93 he looks so healthy and even kinda young for his age
He seems very pleasant, as well. I can't believe he cuts his own lawn!
if you take good care of yourself and your body you will age slower or not age at all
@@krystalharwood7842 Having the money to do so helps with that and from what he said money is not an issue that would keep him from doing those needed things. Lack of money often is a big/huge reason why people find themselves lonely they cant put themselves in situations or get out and about due to lack of money even to drive accross town to take part in free activities.
Is horrible to be all alone, I know the feeling, children grow up and forget about you.
Yep..they say your children don't belong to you...
Some people are very lucky and they are close and love each other , kids parents grandparents,
I think the kids just have their own lives to live. They work, have a home, a spouse, children and want their own quiet time. They haven't experienced long term loneliness and possibly illness and losses that we older people experience until they are much older. Our loneliness is different than their being lonely. Particularly when alot older /sick, we feel the end of our lives are closer.
better than the children who grow up to kill or abuse their parents, be glad with what you have.
@@MariaLopez-hc2nm truth is a parent will love their children more than they,its nature for your children have to love their children and spouses more than the parent who really doesnt bring much to the table when nature is concerned for expanding life
I feel really sorry for the lady with 4 grown up children who don’t see them. The thought that when she departs from this world she will be donating her body to science due to the fear of not having anyone at her funeral. Even tragic her son suffers with depression and anxiety. They should live near each other to support each other.🇦🇺🤗🌏
I thought the same. The mother and son could live together, or near each other, for companionship and support. Both seem so sad 😞
@@taramatheis1451 , I thought so, too; neither has any particular reason to live where they do... Move in together. Problem solved!
Maybe their relationship is not so peachy? Often times, parents and children can develop very volatile relationships due to whatever history they may or may not have together.
I am a caregiver and know of some elderly people who just were horrible parents in their young days and now the kids have nothing to do with them.
Old people might seem cute or whatever, but some have very f-d up yesteryears.
Wow! This really hit home in so many ways. Ill be 32 in December and the feeling of being lonely and empty is a constant struggle day after day. Its very scary seeing your life pass you by especially your youthful years and having the void of lonliness consume you. No friends, No kids, no partner and years of trying to keep yourself company is just depressing. You manage to do it for awhile but year after year of being by yourself truly takes it toll. I sympathize for anyone that deals with loneliness. I know how it feels all to well.
I'm the same 😢
@@Dmzhkm
Thanks I appreciate it
@@jamiepr1991
I'm sorry you're having to experience that. I hope things get better for you
Yes. The days pass by and it gets worse. People who are happy don’t understand.
@tiaaa7108
Couldn't agree more. After being alone and lonely for so many years you tend to just give up and not even dare to have expectations because you already know what the end result is.
At 50 I dream of ageing alone, living alone as long as I can and dropping dead or dying all by myself, in peace, no noise around, no people, no strangers, no carers, no nurses or doctors deciding, no organ donation...simply dying truely in peace ! and being found weeks after ..... what a luxury ! people have been by far the biggest source of trauma in my Life, from my very parents and siblings to my classmates, many teachers to colleagues and roommates....No thank you.
Just make plan that somebody will find your body before far gone decomposition.
Don't worry, you will die alone. Nowadays no one cares about you.
@@martinasikk6162 Why? Almost surely, at some point, someone will come along. If nothing else, after some years your home will be taken for taxes, then someone will inspect it to see what they want to do with it.... and find the previous owner.
If there are neighbors who see you at times, they might call the local police for a wellness check after some time. If they don't, they don't.
@@martinasikk6162 Why ? would that matter ? I am praying already that my body will never experience an autopsy.
@@rudra62 If you have a pet cat it might get hungry and eat your face.
I have read more of these comments than I expected to; it seems the more I read...the more connected I feel. I don't feel the slightest bit lonely knowing that as long as there are other souls out there who think and feel much as I do...I'll always have a family.
Reading comments on UA-cam from strangers and people you’ll never meet cannot even be compared to forming a real relationship with another human soul. People aren’t that bad if you invest the time to know them. Life is about giving. We must all give. It’s not just about what you can get out of another person.
How are you doing these days?
Being alone is a great opportunity to get to know your self in a deeper level. A beginning of a spiritual journey to your true self. Embrace it and don't be afraid you'll be fine. You know, really, you're never alone.
So true!! I decided many years ago to start treating myself as well as I treat everyone else and it was a turning point for me. I slowly realised that I was the 1 person I'd be living with for the rest of my life, no matter what, so I got to know and like myself. Now I'm happy to be alone.
I feel a lot of ppl are frightened of being alone because they think it equates to loneliness. But I think "how can I be lonely? I'm there"
I found that at the beginning, it was great for growth but then I found my mind started to cannabalise itself
cause of loneliness is suffering inside. if you live in solitude and contenment with yourself no problem. But when you have no one to talk to but want to but are crying and suffering inside. If you are lonely and have no one to share your burden with how will you get out of this predicament? These things are COMPLETELY different: choosing the life of being alone and suffering alone without any help from anyone!
Jane's story just made me feel so hopeless about my future. I'm almost 30 years old now and she described everything I could put into words about me. Seeing that I will be the same in 10 years old scares me. It's sad when you realise that although you try to get out there, think there is something there, something going to happen, but years go by and everything remains the same, or worse. Especially if you move to different places, you won't be able to create and maintain any solid friendships or relationships. In the past 3 years, I can definitely see how people changed and are not interested in conversations or building friendships anymore, especially if they have a life settled with a partner. And not even mention how much hatred and disappointment people have to offer in general. I was thinking of trying dating apps as a last resort, but she just described everything so clearly, just another place to get rejected, lower your self-esteem and lose your faith in humanity!
I'm 30, single and with no kids, and I have realised that in order to find a partner to settle down with, you either have to ignore the things that you don't particularly feel comfortable with regarding people, or you have to consider yourself literally incomplete. I have refused to live by either of those options, so I guess I'll always be alone. People have told me my standards are too high, and maybe they are (though I believe that expecting basic human decency is now considered to have high standards). I personally have found it very difficult to have a friendship based relationship with men, most of whom I've met just want to skip, skip, skip until they can themselves present as "a husband", doesn't seem to really matter who is the wife. I don't like this approach of "date, doesn't matter who, but DATE". I literally just want them to get to know me lol. But well, it is what it is I guess.
I'm in a similar situation, though now 35+. I focus much of my energy on creating the best possible situation for myself financially, socially, physically, doing everything I can to become positive and happy about my life, improving my situation, house, body, social life, finances, etcetera.
My situation is pretty good, except there's hardly any romance or love. Maybe it'll happen, maybe not, but whatever happens I'm designing my best possible, positive life, with or without a supporting partner 😊 Be the best you you can be, day by day! Support yourself and your own emotions first and foremost. Peace out!
I'm 53 and newly single. The dating apps were absolutely soul crushing. I've been off them for a few weeks, and while I'm still lonely at times, my mental has improved since getting off them. Just speaking for myself, however. Good luck.
@@raymondmasullo3386Hi 😊 What dating apps were you on?
I'm 53 n same but I'm married I'm in a rut
I think its important for everybody to master solitude to some extent. If the minute you enter an empty room you find yourself getting devoured by your thoughts, that's a handicap. Some people in this video were "I need a partner or else I don't want to live", and sadly, approaching a potential partner with that level of desperation will not work out well for them. The woman in Scotland who loves to be alone possesses a super-power in my opinion. She's is truly free. Life needs to make some kind of sense with or without a partner.
Quite frankly, the woman in Scotland looks strained, desperate, and unhappy, in spite of her reassuring comments. Look at her facial expressions - they tell it.
💯
I agree with you. I am nearly 66 and I have always been single, apart from three years of living with my partner when I was young. 🌿
I have one son, seven grandchildren and four great grandchildren, a large extended family and many good friends and lovely neighbours. ❤️
I love living alone with my two dogs and my garden. 🥰
@@brigitt8149This. People don’t seem to want to realize that we literally NEED others in order to have proper mental health. We’re the most social creatures to ever exist on earth and we use our intelligence to deny this fact
."..ad we use our intelligence..." You've put it very diplomatically. Thank you, I agree fully with you. You have deepend the lesson to frame the truth unambigously without causing any hurt. @@yourunclejohn984
When you're raising kids it's important to keep cultivating good friendships with people your own age.
Think it's more than having a single role in life be that a parent, an employee, etc... better to hedge your bets else if the one goes then it all goes
This documentary is so frightening. This is a reality I am beginning to confront. I have no children, no wife, many of my friends have died, I recently retired, I lost my sister, father and nephew within one year. I am not close to my remaining siblings or relatives. My mother passed away 14 years ago. Some of my associates have stopped calling. I am 63 years old. I leave the remainder of my life in God's hands, and it gives me tremendous comfort.
Is it possible to find community in Church?
Yes, and I am planning to volunteer my services to people who are in need of help
God bless and keep you ❤️Sorry for your losses🥺
May I ask where you are from?
@@HoneyHush3425 I live in the U.S New York
Deep down most people don't want to be alone. No matter how much they lie to themselves, deep down most people don't want to be lonely. The problem is that the world is full of scum bags and people who bring you down, so being lonely might be the only solution for some people.
That was my problem. I finally learned I have no ability to choose a partner that isn’t one of those scum bags; so I stopped looking. For the most part, I am finally pretty satisfied with a single life as my destiny.
@@CopingwithGrattitude I'm the same. I've been single for 19 years. I don't have much faith left in humanity lol.
So right. People are scum...in general. They double cross
Also Ego !
💯
Many of you hit the nail on the head for those of us who are alone, but NOT lonely. I must add that single people are often discriminated against when traveling or other events that typically are designed for couples or families. I remember being in Italy and they wanted to charge me for two people in riding a gondola. Packed movie houses have often asked me to move to the left or right to accommodate late comers or families. I’ve been asked to give up the outside seat on a plane to accommodate families that want to sit together. So being an introverted extrovert who prefers being alone has pluses & minus’.
I am curious. What are the pluses?
@@ecivilized2336 being stress free
That’s not fair; you are equally as valuable.
It is exceptionally kind if you offer, but to be _forced is not_ right. 🤍
That is true. Restaurants make a big deal out of one customer at the table. Less of a tip, so they generally ignore me. Even a couple gets ignored nowadays. The wait people are all over the table with the big family, or drunk friends of five or more. If someone asks me to move so a family can sit together, I look them over to see if they have young children and/or a single mother, or frail people before I give up my seat. Most are not of those groups
dining alone if awful-no matter how you style it
I live alone and the pandemic has taken away my social life. I see people very rarely. I am considering trying to find another senior lady to be roommates with. It is very difficult not to be sad about it but I am very much an optimist. Things can only get better for me. It is the young people I am concerned about. No one deserves to feel the pain of loneliness.
Yes, the pandemic has caused a lot of problems and I really am starting to doubt that these lockdowns did much good. But it seems it has really done a number on some people's mental health,
@@JB-pd3ir agreed
@@greensorrel6860 I would say to you since you agree perhaps you will join me in expressing my appreciation to all you encounter (just be a little nicer), people such as the grocery clerk, or your doctor, etc. I seen this go a long way as people are hungry for connection (especially those who are naturally more social than others).
I feel more lonely when I’m around other people because I’m always performing and can’t be myself.
Exactly this! Always having to perform like an act in the workplace also
I've been through worse things than most people, which I can almost immediately tell upon meeting them, because their worldview and way of thinking is so much different (more limited, naive, and immature) than mine. Then, I wish I could be alone again.
I'm 39, and extremely lonely. Having no friends is frustrating. I missed making friends in childhood, college and work, so I've ended up with none. Now that im middle aged its even harder to make friends. It doesnt help that I'm autistic and have great difficulty with communication and in social situations. I feel doomed, to be honest.
Me too, in the end people like us die alone
I feel exactly the same way at 37. I'm extremely depressed.
I will be your friend, honest
I cried nearly through the whole documentary...I relate to everything they said, it made me wish I could start a group and have a get together with all of them. I love my own company but it breaks me not having someone to share life with
You should start a group. Why not? What's holding you back? There are a ton of caretakers who would recommend elderly people to your group. Go for it!!!
I know what you mean. Its not about getting together with people from church or any other “group”. It’s about not having that special someone which used to be your spouse. Someone to go through life with. Someone to grow old with. I spend most of my time alone and there are things I used to love doing but that was when I had someone to share them with. I used to go camping and spend time outdoors but now when I do those things I’m by myself. I’ve discovered that so many things just aren’t the same when you are alone. It was the shared experience that made doing those things meaningful. I hate being lonely.
I have been alone for half of my life since my divorce. Never wanting to remarry, I immersed myself into study instead of feeling sorry for myself. My ex remarried and died 3 years ago....he ate himself to death. Move away from self pity and do something constructive with your life. This prescription will never fail.
@@prepperjonpnw6482 Makes complete sense. I'm going to look more into this because, believe it or not, young people today feel the same. The entire continent is lonely. I believe that's why people have kids and get pets, to address their loneliness. It's good that you're so clear on how you feel. Many are ashamed of loneliness as if they have the plague. I believe everything starts with God who is, in essence, love. He says in His word that he created each of us with intention. That said, if we are truly introspective we will be able to look back at our lives and see where we pivoted due to fear and took a turn to satisfy an insecurity (i.e. got married, didn't take the risk, took the safe route, married the person who fit the image rather than the one we really loved, etc.). We do all of this rather than follow His voice. I'm not talking about you, I'm talking about all of us. I wonder what life would be like if we all lived true to out divine purpose rather than conform? Make yourself a "take the risk" list and DO THEM! 🙂
@@prepperjonpnw6482 i agree with your comment.0
I think that's why retirement communities are so fantastic. They provide company if you want it, but we really don't have anything for middle-age time of life. 😔
Go to church groups
I'm alone with no children. I've been a loner my whole life. Being bullied throughout my childhood played a big part of my self isolation. I've tried to make friends but where I live I feel socially awkward. So I basically work 6 days a week and play video games and smoke weed to escape the feeling of loneliness. I'm not afraid to be alone, Just afraid to lose my mind due to being alone.
I’m so sorry. That stinks 😢
@@Starfish2145 thanks for your kind words. I'm still surviving, keeping my head down and working on myself. It's a second by second process...
I understand, completely. I don't seem to fit anywhere so I stay to myself with my cat and I just lose myself in self-help videos and the like seeking information on how to deal with this or to do something different. I am retired home health provider and I have 6 adult children that are too busy for me so all of a sudden I have no one to nurture and take care of. I'm lost. I do not know how to fill the void.
@@athenagoodspeed4291 we all fit somewhere, with someone.
Wayne, there is someone out there in need of your friendship, and is waiting on you. What i've noticed in my 64 years is that every dear friend i've had picked me; i was a loner as well, and didnt go looking.
"I wonder why nobody wants me...Why is it that I am completely not desirable"
So, disheartening, she made me cry. In fact, all these emotions make me sad for them.
Yes, if you’re speaking about the blonde 40 yr old woman, it’s unfortunate. She said that “she won’t find a man at weight-watchers”, but she won’t find a man without weight-watchers either. She would have her pick of men if she lost the weight and kept it off. It’s an all too common in problem
@@big_red_machine3547 she could lower her standards and date short men. But she wont, many men would date a women like her plus you can lose weight but you cant get taller.
@@bluemoon8498ive always said that. You can lose weight but you cant get taller. Ha ha yes she does need to lose the weight its a vicious cycle no doubt. . Eats from loneliness then feels bad about herself, gains weight and gets less dates. However shes not morbidly obese I still see no reason why shes single. Overweight women can still marry I see it all the time. And I don't see why she couldn't meet a man at weight watchers either. 😮
I‘m 22 and for me being alone is the most beautiful thing in the world 🌎….
I love being by myself for days, even weeks :))
Same and the shut down gave me the perfect excuse !
I love being alone sometimes, too. But I can choose to retreat. These people are talking loneliness NOT by choice and...um...they seem to describe despair.
Me too! People just cause drama.
Probably you don't feel it because you're active person, but when age hits is different 😕
@@justinagalindo7118 gosh, I know you are right. The lady who spent her life with the man she loved must be bereft. I wasn't thinking of that perspective.
“All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”
― Blaise Pascal, Pensées
It's amazing that there are 7 billion people on this planet yet so many feel forgotten, disregarded, and uncared for. It's a terribly sad and depressive reality, esp for our seniors. It's the kind of thing that makes you not want to get older. Life shouldn't lose value with age but that's something a lot of people are feeling, that their life is not seen as having value. No one should have to live like that.
Being alone is better than having toxic or abusive people in your life but it isn't much better.
people are usually toxic and plus abusive people dont want to live alone 😅
Better alone than wish I was alone. Better to feel lonely by yourself than be made to feel lonely even when you’re with someone else.
This programme is making out that lonliness is a new phenomenon . People/society exclude people for all sorts of reasons, it's a lack of empathy, especially if people are different , just saying, I've always been alone and felt lonely and I'm in my mid 60's now
I can so relate with your comment, I wish their were clubs for lonely people like their are for avid readers, quilters or whatever. Or just a way to have contact with like minded people.
Very true- especially disabled people. You have to fight for the right to be included and nobody wants you.
@@jeaniejbutler4911 With all there is on the internet, I can't believe there aren't. Although "Lonely People's Club" may carry a bit of a stigma. Why not join a class where you can start a new interest if you don't have any? If you’re not an extrovert, how about a book club?
Yes, they do exclude you for all sorts of reasons and it is just to do with ageing, either... Often it has to do with your socieconomic class, where you came from, your education, who your family were etc. Things you have no control over but they will judge you negatively because of such things. As soon as I get a whiff of such attitudes, I promptly do such people. I don't care who they are or how "important" they think they are, or might even be. To my mind they become worthless trash and I don't need to know such people and I make this very clear to them, in no uncertain ways. Just so they know where they stand with me. It's the best way to handle them. You don't need the company of people who make you feel bad about things you had no control over eg your family you were born into etc.
Cookie cutter people don't like people who are different. They don't have empathy m. Cookie cutter people can be very selfish and self centered.
"I want somebody to do nothing with." That's it, sir.
RIP, Dorothy.💐
I think the key things that I take from this and I have been single for a prolong period of time post two divorces and a few failed relationships, is that we must not only define ourselves based on relationships. There must be more to life than that. Additionally, due to the ever changing nature of life, we need to learn to be alone and enjoy our own company. I do that more now, just enjoy my own company and the peace that it brings. Rest in peace, Dorothy.
Whilst understanding how people hate loneliness,I personally enjoy being alone
Am very self sufficient and spend lots of time with my plants and animals
I don’t really have a need for people
My respect to all those suffering
There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. They are not one in the same.
@@B_Bodziak Yes ,you are right
I'm the same. I really enjoy being alone. I date from time to time and have whirlwind romances but at the end of the day, I actually prefer my own company. I rarely feel lonely and if I did, I would reach out and see friends or join groups. Years ago I started a group through meet up called Therapy for Strangers. It was basically a group of strangers that would get together and talk about their issues and try and give one another advice. I was really surprised how many young guys came along. More guys than women. Brave of them. If you are lonely, there are always people out there, you just have to have the courage to reach out and say hi.
I hope that doesnt change for you as you get older. Alone or lonely are two very different things. For me I was ok being alone (after divorce) but at 62 and now having disabilities and very limited income I have somehow switched to being lonely. Friends from my past are busy with their lives and grandkids etc, My 2 children live far away. I am alone and lonely. I hope you dont find this in your future.
@@jeaniejbutler4911 if that were the case I would probably join some local groups and try and get involved in community somehow. I'm sorry you feel lonely. I don't have kids. 1 labradoodle is enough for me haha.
Tracy Chapman asks in her song; "Why are there so many of us but then people are still alone?" It's heartbreaking 😭
The lyrics of Tracy Chapman are precious.
I wonder that every lonely night
My personal discovery is that loneliness stems from:
1) Being with someone whose interests are misaligned with one's own interests, which ultimately leads to loss of interest in the other.
2) Inability to compromise for another person leads to tension which ultimately kill interest in both parties.
.
Same question can be asked about “ why are there so many people yet we can’t find even a few good friends?”
I once knew a man who would rather spend time immersed and in tune with nature ..admiring a snail, bees , clouds ,rain ,wind and sunshine ,beautiful flowers 🌺 etc …spending time with any human being was out of question ..very happy and healthy man .
Sounds like my dad. Except I'm fearing that he isn't happy anymore.
I think this man is a Dane!
Humans are very heavy to be around they are always ranting 😣😣😣
Dorothy & Olive were so sweet. Heart breaking to hear she died alone. I hope she loved the Lord bcuz in heaven she'll never feel lonely again.