This is how to overcome your fear of rejection…
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- Опубліковано 28 вер 2024
- A deep video on the origins of rejection and why many of us fear it.
This video has some profound quotes, examples and of course visuals ;).
Anywho, I give a lot of solutions/different ways to look at rejection, because after all, it's an important part of growth and the human experience.
Feel free to share your experiences with rejection in the comment section :)
Enjoy the video and watch all the way until the end to soak up everything (maybe take notes too).
- Jem
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Did you watch the other episodes in season 6? Check them out here: • Jem Veda: Season 6
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I’m rejected by life for the very beginning of a being a fetus, and I deeply feel like there is no escape. Being born as a woman in a backwards religious, third-world country, I realized that education is my one and only ticket out.
It is just tough and oftentimes I feel so alone, and no one else to talk to. As I’m not planning to grow old here in an overpopulated city, full of pollution, and there is no concept of privacy. Once I’ve finished my bachelors degree, I’m planning to score a master’s degree abroad and I never want to come back. I’m essentially just finding my way home because here does not feel like a home, it never has. I’m not suicidal, but those thoughts certainly cross my mind every now and then. Thank you for everyone who reads this, I genuinely just wanted to get it out of my chest and hope things will get better.
I hope the best for you on your journey
You’ve got this ❤
Love this topic. As someone in their 30’s and has experienced so much rejection in all aspects of my life I promise anyone struggling with this that it will not end you. In fact it’s forcing and trying to make what isn’t meant to be that will be most painful. In hindsight every time I just took the L and moved on I found way better circumstances that were in alignment with me and complimented me. Like I got rejected for a low wage basic retail job and ended up getting a way better job now that pays way more. A guy I really like rejected me but it turns out he was toxic. Rejection is God’s redirection, never take it personal because that rejection could be saving you from something way worse. Be thankful, keep your head held high and move forward. You will be okay and attract way better. 🙏🏽❤️
I love this 💎
So true, every time something or someone rejects you they're only allowing you to find better, so much wisdom
How in earth do you know that "it ended up he was toxic"?
When you gent rejected again and again you doubt your self value. When you have been raised to have these doubts from a little kid, that makes even harder.
Can someone show us a way to believe in your self value when by definition this value is measured by external real life factors.
When I lived as a Buddhist monk one of the things that was interesting was that we had little to no control over what we wore and how we were allowed to look.
By being uniform in that way it made many things easier and the fear of rejection for how I looked all but dissappeared.
Interesting, how long did you live as a monk for
@@JemVedai was ordained for 6 years but spent two years before that freelancing as a photographer traveling around Asia and figuring out how and what I wanted to do with my life.
It was quite the journey and I'm happy I did it while I was still young and didn't have a family of my own :)
@@MartinKPetterssonthat doesnt work in high school?
Monks looks so miserable , I think fashion is so important as an art form ,but I wouldn't wanna be judged by it either good or bad because that isnt a kind of atmosphere I like. But I exoerimented not to care ABT fashion ,but everything from the cut and form is so important to the feeling of how I feel , the physical is so important.
@@iamfree3260 not sure what monks you are referring to?
But in general most monks I met where happy and enjoyed life. But there most certainly were exceptions.
There's a reason whey we are not allowed to adorn ourselves and it makes sense when you practice meditation and self improvement.
As far as clothes being comfortable I am highly sensitive and always chose robes that where light, and comfortable to wear. I actually prefer it to normal clothes.
aye man. the work u puttin in does not go unappreciated dawg. u being 5 years younger than me kinda fucks me up 😂 but I learned a while back that comparing isn’t the move. jus wanted ta say thanks again for nudging some of us in the right direction, & for being a teacher. the greatest human act is to inspire, today imma ask her out FUCK IT! 💪 “if you take it too seriously, you’re gonna live in suffering” that one was dope
Thank you, I love this work. And bro you got this, go do it. Nothing to lose 😎
I get that kinda being fucked up by his age and that of other commenters here. It’s discouraging for me and leads me to say why bother, too late. I’m glad you are taking initiative, though.
I’m happy I figured this out sooner (20) than later. I used to always be afraid of what everyone thought, abandonment and rejection. I came to realise that if you don’t take this world by the balls it will take you by yours, and it doesn’t feel good. Unless it’s your kink 😂
EXACTLY and haha
One of the most intelligent and organized minds I have ever seen on UA-cam
As someone who is still in their teenage years and still have way more to go through this video will definitely help me a lot
Please never delete your videos or stop doing em, you are a saving inspiration to me, a light in the tunnel.
I’ll always keep them here
I had to get used to rejection alot in recent years when it came to my education, job search and even personal life. I kind of had to get used to it and eventually it became to a point where I got so down on myself and frustrated. Eventually I rationalized it as them not rejecting me but me rejecting them in a way or life rejecting them for me and redirecting me towards something better. It still stings to this day and I am striving to move past it but I know I am on a better path now to start fresh.
Awesome 👏
30 years I lived a fake life,, and didn't no it, ,,ocd mute, realisation
Thankyou again 🙏🙏👍 I'm waking,,, and your resinating profoundly
06:47 Exactly. And many people are only interested in external validation for survival.
Like you mentioned earlier in the video; exile/rejection can mean death for some. ✊🏼❤
Yes, survival alone is a powerful drive!
Jem, i love your videos, but i think another incredible and unique aspect of your channel are the thumbnails! I love the art you choose for it
Also, congrats on reaching 100k! May you continue to prosper
Thank you :)
Thank you for expanding my mindset. I just discovered your channel yesterday and have been binge watching your vids.
Your perspectives and explanations are adjusting many things I didn't even know needed adjusting.
I'm definitely learning and reflecting a lot, thank you.
You have a profound gift for explaining concepts in a unique way that is interesting and relatable.
Glad it helped! And thank you 🙏🏿
As much as I want to believe, I cannot deny the half of me thats "realistic" about outcomes. Which I consciously know is outcome dependence and ultimately self rejection but it paralyzes me all the same.
When I'm alone I can meditate on this and understand it and feel differently but it crumbles as soon as I'm in the moment and its time to act. Its all in my body too, quite literally paralyzes me unless I have support to look that encourages me or just something to push me over the edge. I won't be overthinking in the moment, in fact my mind will typically be empty but I get filled with anxiety, perhaps because I hesitate at the last second letting doubt creep in the back of my mind? I honestly don't know for certain, but it has gotten the best of me these past few years I'll admit.
I feel like I can't get my own ball rolling so to speak. But I've had those pushes before and once I built momentum everything was smooth. Problem is I can't rely on that and I simultaneously know I'm capable yet in my experience it doesn't get any easier for me to face potential failure no matter how big or small it is.
And I say failure because thats how my subconscious constantly wants to frame things, while consciously I know rejection does not equal failure yet the feeling remains. I've yet to rectify this internal conflict and its a source of much of my pain in life and its all self inflicted. But videos like this help me get myself back on track and not give in to frustration.
This all just reminds me of when Tyler talked about a person's reference point. Gotta love it
Great vid btw!
Did he say that in an interview?
@@JemVeda Yes he’s said it in a few of his interviews. He spoke about it initially in his HOT 97 interview back in 2021
I’m free from fear of rejection. I accept that rejection is a part of life. experiencing rejection grows me as a person. Jem Vedder affirmations
I don't comment often. But this channel might be a great blessing to me.
This is the best video I have seen so far
what i noticest is that i get extremely anxious sometimes when i meet an old friend or old classmates. it's like i suddenly don't know how to be me anymore and fall back into that "old version" of me from back then. i don't like this feeling.
i fear that they think "oh, whats up with this guy..." or "why does he act so weird now?"
Wow, this is exactly why i was drinking so much! Alcohol inhibited all those conscious and unconscious fears you listed.
This guy deserves a atleast a million subscribers already.
Soon!
This came at a very good time for me. Appreciate your work
🙌
The rating scale is also highly dependant on the person's mood. Being a 3 could literally be a 10 in a different instance
Great video
Thank you 🙏
Thank you, I appreciate you, your videos actually help me improve and grow as a person.
I really thank you so much. You don't know what you have done for me 😆😊☺️
Your videos are life savers
Thank you 💜
thank you for uploading :)
Of course 🥂
Hey Jem! I love your videos!! GREAT WORK WITH GREAT DETAIL WITH INSIGHTS ON BECOMING BETTER EVERYDAY! to do more on everyday grounds, I'd like to read some books which might help to understand the human behaviour around me better, do you've some book recommendations which help to understand people and their psych?? I'd love to include reading such parts in my life!! THANKYOU again for the work you do...and I'd be glad if you share a list of a few books you'd recommend 😊
Ooo there’s so many. I should make a book list.
I would start with “Invisible Influence” by Jonah Berger, “The laws of human nature” - Robert Greene, and “”influence” the psychology of persuasion” - Robert Cialdini
@@JemVedaTHANKYOU!! AND I'd like to know what get you to make such interesting topics to start with? Like the ideas and so on....also...do you read philosophy and if yes what kind of one do you most believe in. (And yes, you should definately make a book list soon. I've seen the recent community post of yours on a book, would definately love to get more book names)
nice vid, comment for da algoo. keep goin❤
Thank you for this !
🙏🙏
Thank you I appreciate you so much! 💗💗💗
Its good to kno ppl arent rejecting u but really rejecting the cars u were dealt and their preferences. To bend urself to be favorable to be likes is wrong but i also wanna be my best self but contridictorly i dont wanna be likes for any cards iv been dealth with that includes improvements on myself lol. Its the beast all fake to be likes more etc for fake reasons
I needed this at this moment. Thank you ❤
I love this vid! 🔥🔥🔥
Funny how I was rejected a day or 2 ago and you come out with this video, I don’t know if it was rejection because I just went to talk to her and she looked at me and I walked away away but we was in the gym and she was walking out🙏🏽🙏🏽😭
Hey Jem Veda, hope you stay blessed🙌🏻, question where and how do you learn all these helpful skills?
Fear of rejection is just one reason I don’t really live. Counting down the days.
I guess maybe that fear has led to me losing myself. I’ve hidden who I am so long that I no longer know what my authentic feelings are. I don’t know how to find that again, and it’s late enough in my life I’m not sure it’s worth it to keep trying. I’m a bummer, sorry.
@@yhamezit's not the odds, it's the stakes
@@sp123 Thanks for the reply. I’m sorry, I don’t quite understand what you are saying. Is it that the stakes of not living outweigh the odds of the awful things that could happen trying to live? If so, that sounds true. I think I need to find a way to reconnect with myself, then maybe I’d have some direction. I don’t know what I want (realistically) other than avoiding discomfort. I’m getting that avoidance has contributed to my current state. I just don’t know what to do with it.
Ok with the leopard shirt
Haha thank you
Holy shit dude. what is your mbti? hella self aware
I totally forgot haha
do you have any videos on visualisation? i can create good scenes, it just feels more like imagining fake scenarios before bed.
Thank you❤
🙏🙏
❤Thank you!❤
Worse feeling in the worls wouls be to pityed been the notsmart brother, either though im not a male,i think that would be break ing so much, there is alot of conparisoon with earth siblings, but thats only me, well my ego self,compares twins etc and siblins for similar ities,i wonder if antone else compares siblings, i winder hiw i would handle it to be a non smart brother.....
I dint kno why that is the most horrible thing in the world
I guess he can deal with it by understanding and accepting diff ppl r dealth with diff hands and have to build to not care what others think, that is most important thing to build in life . But I hate that I pity him. 😢how do I stop?
It would be really awesome if, like,
you could slingshot me in for a win.
Yeah, but... Okay, but if you won...
how am I gonna win?
.. ..
Yeah.
- Think about it.
- No, I was thinking about it.
I mean, it's not like
you're finishing 18th.
- There's nothing wrong with silver.
- Nothing wrong with silver at all.
I'm just kidding you, man.
I don't wanna win.
I'll just bury it down inside.
Bury it deep down in there,
and never bring it up again.
It's painful, and I love you!
i want to see your hands gestures
Or you can get rejected for 40 years straight non stop. Survive attempted murder by your cwreres, then decide humanity sicks. And then you live to help animals.. Also I like chocolate milk.
@@darker2920 same here peace and love my friend.
Thank you for the support ❤️
i don't like anything
the amount of introspection your vids have made me have is huge; you're genuinely helping people out🙌
🎉, thank you!
I really thank you so much. You don't know what you have done for me 😆😊☺️
This man displays wisdom beyond his years. Bravo.
Rejection is redirection.
🎯🎯🎯
God bless everyone in the name of Jesus amen.
u truly r the goat
💎
Just a month ago this man was only at 45k subs. And I knew from watching one video you were just beginning your journey and that you’d grow faster than I could imagine. Now just a month later your at over 100k I just want to thank you for making videos with such genuine and pure energy. They help people so much and also congratulations on hitting 100k!!
I have a great fear of rejection and I genuinely wanna say thank you for your video because it made me actually wanna do something about it and be brave enough to fail. I was raised to be a “perfect” everything and as I grew up it started suppressing my creativity and growing social anxiety. Thank you for your content. I’ve been in my healing era for the past few months after a terrible abusive relationship and I had a lot of time to reevaluate my perception of life, people and myself.
Your content is perfect (I know, biased opinion), but at this moment I feel like I was meant to find your channel and hear you. Thank you!
Hey Jem! New sub here and wow, I really value your videos. They're super helpful during these transitional phases I've been experiencing lately. Wanted to say thank you first and foremost. I love the quote "If nobody wants you, you're free" spoken by Unknown towards the end of one of SZA'a songs. Meaning, free in a sense of not being bound to being unauthentic, free from spending your time with people who never had the best intentions for you in the first place. I had the most friends when I was the most toxic version of myself and now I've been cultivating my "Love and belonging" and "Self-esteem" phase. It's been hard and super lonely but I know I'm on the right path. And that I have to be thankful for.
Brother, I've stumbled on your videos for a few months now. To hear that we share the same age, and relate to many of the same thoughts that I too wish I could share and help spread to others facing negative loops, in hopes to benefit their future decision making. "How are you so wise at 26" I also hear this all the time, yet some people around my age or younger, cannot stand when I offer up debate to their current beliefs, even though it's only in hopes to aid.
Regardless, stay up, stay positive out there!
you are literally so amazing , I just found your channel and just want to thank you , you are so wise beyond your years 🙏💓
just hearing you talk about rejection like a normal, beatable everyday life topic helps very much, thx man
I was thinking I was crazy trying to explain this stuff to people my age I thought mabey I was just overthinking but I’m realizing mabey I was just understanding myself and my surroundings and have probably just taken a lot more hits than the average 16yo
Rejection is necessary in achieving your goals. On the journey to improve my dating life I had to eat so much shit but after years, it’s taught me so much
Absolutely, it’s a must with success in anything
Dude i discovered your channel about two weeks ago and its helping me change my life. like literally. i really appreciate your work and how you give really concrete actions to take.
love and light to you brother
Thank you :)
Rejection is just redirection!
🎯🎯
I’m not sure how I came across your channel but this is definitely going to shift me into a different paradigm. I am so grateful.
I think that people need to understand that no one is perfect everyone is different and does different things for there own reasons but if we are all understanding to each other and communicate on are action in a respectful way we should be fine
thank you so much
Man I just want to say that your videos never miss. Your content is challenging egos and changing lives. Thank you so much! Keep it coming!
Thanks for watching, and that means a lot!
Bro, your videos are just... genuine. I found this channel like a week ago and it's on my top 3 for sure
Thanks brother 😎
27k views 27 minutes 😂
Hi bro, I just found your channel a few weeks ago and discovered it's one of the best things I could ever find in this self-realization path that we've all have been through and trying to succeed at, thanks
a lot for all the help and wisdom you have shared with us, I really appreciate it, and wanted to ask you if you could share with us the books that you consider we should read if we really wanna follow through in this path and overcome the fears and everything that keeps us away from ourselves...
I just finished reading The Four Agreements and it touches a lot of these topics you mentioned, I’m watching this at the right time! Another great video 💎
That’s a great book!
Great topic. I think the route to it is caring too much about what others think. We give up our feelings as hostage based upon an external we can’t control and who’s rejection is taken instantly as negative. It’s an own goal.
I only fear wasting my time on a worthless beach, not rejection
Truman show ?
@@iamfree3260 yea dude I really feel like I'm in the truman show based on how many worthless beaches with an itch I meet
@@alf3071 with an itch?
Rejection is rare in my life, but every time it happens it feels like someone is peeling off the skin on my arms with a cold paring knife. Sometimes I can get a panic attack, or be overcome by rage and lash out at my attacker. Total dysregulation, memory lapses, confusion, and an consuming sense of impending doom. It's a struggle not to turn to alcohol and drugs to dull the pain. It is indistinct from being punished by a sadistic higher power.
On the other hand, this is all about personal rejection. If it's personal taste, performance rating, or something else inconsequential then it's whatever. If it's a job or place to live that is the nature of my rejection? Mental breakdown on the spot and weeks of crippling depression. My ideal of self is to be emotionally immune to rejection.
Bro I appreciate your insights. Definitely like how you define the terms and provide insights. Good knowledge bro!!!
Seriously thanks for your videos bro idk where u are but u ever have time to make a video together pls hmu 🎉
tribe had a ideal to accept people and reject as well, society have a ideal to accept, but the problem is the ideal is so shallow, you have to have goods and a way of life ( even being in a certain way, like white, the worst party of some society), but in reality we have the choice of what "tribe" we want to agree, i don't want to agree with a society who have a ideal of goods and being in a standard way. That's the problem, we don't think who is rejecting us, only "I don't want be rejeceted", the question is " who is the people who are rejecting us?"
You content is important, keep going, you're doing a good job.
Thanks your video helped a lot with understanding myself.🙏
Very wise… so much of my life has been ruled by this unconscious fear
Also I see a correlation between the lack of this fear and second language acquisition. Once I let go of the ideal of sounding perfect or native, my learning grew exponentially 💫💫💫. It works for everyone like that.
Thank you brother, you're a beautiful and wise soul ❤ very helpful 🙂
Very interesting topic❤🔥🙏👍
🙌, thanks for watching :)
Too many people need to hear this before it’s too late
Very true
I can't take rejection because I get what I ask. So, one rejection eats me out.
You are such a good friend ❤️
how do you actually make this video stock videos and images wise
Man... Your videos just keep getting better and more helpful. Thank you for all that you do. This one really helped my perspective.
yessssssss
😎
I just dont playthe game anymore
Thanks Jem, you’re a gem. 😊😂💙
came thru with the Weird Opinion
Adopted a god complex and you’ll be chillin
bro i been the whole video saying meeeeee
Excellent video I appreciate your content 🙏
Awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you man great video
this video made me cry
This channel is underrated.
Smart and handsome
Big Thanks 😊:)