"Matulog Ka Na" ni Clayson

Drawing by Alexa Villaruel
alexa, i don't know how many times i have to say sorry in this life for you to forgive me, but i don't know what else to say besides that. ever since what happened, i haven't been more lost for words than ever. if there's one thing i long for in a manner that is so strong, it is your forgiveness, however i understand if you're not willing to give me that, because i myself still cannot come around to forgive myself. i don't know what to do. i can't find the right words to say. the only thing i'm kind of certain of is that i'm gonna sleep tonight thinking about it, wishing i never hurt you, just to wake up the next day thinking about it again. i so strongly wanna make things right, but i don't even know if you're willing to give me another chance; gosh, the next semester is starting soon, i might see you again, and i sure as hell still do not know what i'm supposed to do. i wish someone could give me good advice about this, instead of me trying to figure it all out myself. the hardest thing about this is that i know where i am wrong, and i now wish to make things right, but i don't even know if the person i hurt is willing to give me another chance. i don't even know why i'm writing this in the description section of this video. i'm leaving such a terrible weary essay that you may never even read. as a literature student, this is probably one of the worst things i've written, but it's all i can really write these days after what's happened. i don't wanna ramble on anymore, 'cause i know you don't like reading long messages, so i'm just gonna stop here now. i pray to God that you are not hurting the way i am.