I just moved to China. You guys inspired me. I have to be honest, I'm struggling. Could be growing pains. Either way, I would really love to have a beer with you two. A dream come true
u guys should have waited till the rain stopped then do the video- I checked the weather when this video was uploaded- it wasn't going to rain for 40 days and 40 nights- stop being beta males
My wife visited Sydney Australia. We met there and dated for about 3 months. Then she returned home to Hong Kong. We wrote most days for about 6 months. (It was before the internet). After 6 months I wrote, "This is silly. We should either get married or say good buy. I don't want to say goodbye."My wife wrote back and said, "You had better see my father." So, at 21 years of age, I flew to Hong Kong, stayed in a hotel for 2.5 weeks. Each day I visited my wife's family. They came to realize that my wife and I were serious. After two weeks I asked my wife's father for his consent for my wife and I to marry. My wife and I have been married for 40 years and we are still in love. Regards, Geoff. Reeks
Wonderful story,... I only have a Japanese wife,... my dad-in-law passed away two years ago. We stayed at his place later and I used his library for studying in the morning,... at his desk I began exploring the drawers and then I found the very first letter which I wrote to him after the marriage trying to introduce myself and apologizing for not asking permission for our marriage.
"If she moans about you holding a door open on your first date just imagine what the rest of your life will be like." I laughed so loud I woke my dog up.
I got a friend who was not alarmed by that. And not only by that. We all told him individually to beat it and move on. And then he really moved on. With her and without us. Okay, his choice. As friends we wished him all the best knowing deep down this will backfire one day really hard. AAAaaaand it did. As we later found out he had constant issues with her even over small stuff. Once they had a full fight it seemed over but they somehow worked it out. Probably by having a child. Time passed by and it started again. So they had another child. Time again, problem again, but this time no 3rd child but divorce. The hard way. She managed to spend more money as he could earn totalling up a sum of 30 000 USD on individual loans and credit card overdrafts where each of them added interest each day making it a very expensive life on money neither of them had. During the divorce process he was totally down and ready to accept the full debt just so she would agree on having shared custody on both childs. Since I was the one prepping the divorce papers and all that I slapped him really hard to get him back to earth. I told him exactly when and what to say in court to get a 50-50 solution in all points of the day and it worked out well. Court has split the debt evenly among both as well as the shared custody. It took almost a year to get it done where he had stil to go to work abroad on shitty jobs just to be able to pay everything off while leaving him with less than minimum wage while she was doing fine living off child support in their appartment he was willing to leave for her and get his own "new home". Not to mention that she already found another guy who was gladly sponsoring her life already. So yeah.. just imagine what the rest of your like will be like. It may just turn this way. Or even worse. Or maybe not that bad but still ugly. Why would you do this to yourself? Let those people be alone forever if they wish to be like that. Or give them the opportuinty to meet someone similar to them so they can ruin each others life. Stay away, stay safe. We all have only one life to live so don't go wasting it on people who are just not worth it :)
@@_J.P._ Just like I said, the Asian girls I've dated, smile and love when I open a door. Some argue to pay for food and are happy to split as a compromise. If you goto a family dinner and multiple people are NOT wrestling each other for the bill, you're in the wrong family. If they have a traditional family base and a job, that's who you want to go for. That's the woman who will break her back to take care of kids. Also the real ones will do stuff like order water, have a shocked look on their face when they look at entree prices, suggest we go somewhere more practical. Those are the girls who will keep you on a good path and will not take shit from you screwing around, drinking secretly etc. They WILL find out. There was not one purchase I made where she didn't try to ask what the utility of the purchase was and why not buy the cheaper version if it works the same. Rational, Strong, Not afraid to be girly and allow her man to pamper her. Last tip. Never leave them waiting, when you say you'll be somewhere, be there. Nothing brings down your "reliability" meter like leaving your girl outside a dark business for an hour.
@@dankmheems290 Dang, sounds like I need to look for a nice Asian girl like that. Getting sick and tired of all the American college girls around here who are as flimsy as a piece of wet paper.
Me too, I would hold the door for her. Because I'm from the south of the USA. And then I would allow her to walk into the building and I would be walking to my car.
Guys, I'm chinese and my wife kept me a secret for years from their parents too, and friends. So it's not a "foreigner" thing, it's chinese girl taking their time to "test water". On the other hand, if they want to eagerly bring you, someone from a foreign country or Handsome hunk of a man to see their parents or friends, it is just to show off and this relationship don't last, most of the time. Yes chinese girls gets jealous easily, not immediately, but they do check on your secretly, so once you are married, don't be unfaithful or flirt with anyone else for fun. And yes, please don't go for girls without seeing them WITHOUT MAKEUP, search youtube and you will see how they can transform a ugly girl into a princess, so please go in with both eyes open.
She keeps a graph with 2 curves showing the payout of your life insurance policy and your potential lifetime earnings. If your earnings downcross the life insurances, you better watch your back.
So true. Hindsight is always 20/20. I wish I saw your videos seven years ago. My first time in China my girlfriend (later my wife) set up a dinner at a Peking Duck restaurant for us and her family. This was 12 hours after my plane landed. Being a westerner in China for the first time I didn't think anything of it. In fact, I was flattered because that's what may be accepted here as normal or polite and not with a hidden agenda. Anyway, she got a private room in the restaurant and not only were her parents there but her aunts, uncles, and grandmother. Talk about no pressure. I had no idea this was an engagement party. And, I didn't know I was engaged yet.
I almost married a Chinese woman in my mid-20s. Back then I bought into the clichés of exotic, adventurous romance, far from home and all that. You know, the whole "Pocahontas"-thing. Today I'm glad that the thing didn't work out. The older I get, the more my ideal woman became one with the same cultural background as me. Someone who understands my sense of humor, gets my references, shares my basic view of the world, or at least really understands it. Nowadays the thought of having this cultural barrier between you and your partner and constantly having to explain everything, or have explained everything to me, is rather dreadful.
TrangleC I am looking at this from the opposite perspective. I’m in my 50’s, married twice with 3 kids. Both American wives were... well, American. I have very recently met a Chinese woman who intrigues me greatly. I was taking her and a friend to catch a bus to NYC last weekend. On the way she pointed at Wendy’s and said in her broken English “hamburger”. As soon as we got on the highway I asked for my French fries, she ignored her own food, put catsup on each individual fry and fed me while I was driving. Then she fed me my burger and lifted my drink straw to my mouth. It was the most erotic, non-erotic thing I have ever experienced. I don’t know when she will return from NYC but I can’t wait to see if there’s anything further with her.
@Username Utterly dimwitted comment. Go and get a new brain, this one doesn't do. First of all, I'm not American. I never watched the Kardashians or some Bachelor or whatever and even if I or my girl would know and watch that stuff, who says that that would be all she would be watching or be interested in? And who says the Chinese girl I was with was any better and didn't watch equally bad Chinese TV shows? I was talking about sharing a common cultural basis and having a similar sense of humor and getting each other's references. How do you imbecile get from that to "so you only want a girl that watches some TV show I don't like"? Holy shit man.
Yea. That’s true. It’s very hard to get with someone of another culture unless ur both willing to learn from each other. But I hope u have since stopped seeing asian women as “exotic Pocahontas thing type of romance” (Pocahontas is Native American... not even the same race). I’m surprised there’s no comment calling u a racist for not wanting to marry out of ur culture since u seem like ur white. But these people are ok when non whites don’t want to marry out of their culture. But anyways, I totally agree. Most interracial marriages just don’t work out long run unless both parties are patient and understanding.
@@gamer3d147 Thanks for the thoughtful comment, but you misunderstood the Pocahontas reference. I did not mean that Pocahontas was a Chinese or Asian woman. I did bring up Pocahontas because her story is probably the most famous example of the story of a (white) guy traveling to a very far away and alien place, meeting a young woman from a very different culture there and falling in love with her. It is a bit like if we would be talking about teenagers falling in love and I would bring up "Romeo and Juliet". That wouldn't mean the teenagers we talk about have to be Italian. You know what I mean? It is just a culturally well known example of a bigger concept that was comparable with my situation at the time. The girl was not Pocahontas and she was not Native American, but our story was much like the story of Pocahontas and whatever the British dude was called who traveled to America and fell in love with her. Yes, it is very easy to get accused of racism nowadays, but the way my personal view on what would be my ideal partner for marriage has changed, doesn't really have to do anything with race. My issue is 100% with culture, not race. I would have absolutely no problem marrying a woman who is from another race, but grew up in the same culture as me. Yes, I am white. I am German, to be precise. There are Asian people who were born and raised in Germany, or came here as children and are culturally 100% German. For example, during the Korean War and during the Vietnam War, many German families adopted Korean or Vietnamese orphans to save them from the war. Those kids grew up in German families and because their adoptive families didn't know much about Korean or Vietnamese culture, they raised them just like German children. It is a bit funny when you meet people in Germany who look Asian, but have very stereotypical German names and behave and talk just like Germans. That is nothing special with American Asians in the USA of course, but here in Germany it still is unusual and can be slightly amusing. My sister's best friend in college was such a girl. She was second generation German of Korean descend. Her parents both were adopted war children. Her name was Christel, a typical Bavarian name and she spoke with a thick Bavarian accent and liked to wear traditional Bavarian dresses and to cook Bavarian food, while looking 100% Korean. She definitely had some habits that were very untypical for Asian girls. For example, she was a notorious hugger. She didn't like shaking hands, but always hugged everybody, even people she just met. I remember one day we were all helping my sister move to another apartment and had been carrying furniture and boxes up and down stairs all day and when we were finished and said goodbye, she wanted to give me one of her famous hugs and I told her not to do it because I was all sweaty and stinky. She just grumbled "Who cares!" and hugged me for 20 seconds or so, like she did with everyone else. I would have no problem marrying a German girl like her, regardless of her race. What counts is that she and I would share a common culture (even though I'm personally not Bavarian, but from another state in Germany, to the west of Bavaria, but it is close enough, culturally), have the same kind of humor, understand each other's references and so on. You see, the misunderstanding between you and me over the Pocahontas reference is a good example for what I am talking about. When you marry someone from the same culture, they will understand such references and what you are trying to say without problem and without the need to explain it. I think when two people are raised in different cultures, there will always remain a certain barrier of understanding and mentality between them, even when they constantly explain stuff to each other. That doesn't seem like a big deal when you are young, but I think the older people get, the more they value familiarity. At least that is how it was for me.
Chinese women do not date for fun. There is a point to it, and that is marriage. If you've been dating a Chinese woman for a year, its time to set a wedding date and if they suspect you've been wasting their time, they will get very upset with you. If you aren't ready for commitment, break it off with them early, don't string them along.
even so ,its much better to date a married husband/wife like your president trump did , western people like to date dad or mom or daughter or or son or hooker or hacker for fun.
My Chinese wife asked once how many girls I had slept with, then a few years later she asked how many girls I had dated before her. Then she got mad and said I was a liar because I gave her a different number. Once had calmed down I had to explain that I hadn't slept with every woman I ever dated - since she asked a different question, of course I gave her a different answer. But I learned quickly to guard my words carefully. Yes, she did get jealous - but was always testing to see if I was lying. (Now to be fair we were both on our 2nd marriage, and her husband had cheated on her - so I accepted the mistrust... to a point. I also told her that day of the 2nd question, that I gave her honest numbers, and I will never answer that question again. (Before anyone jumps on the past tense usage - we had a wonderful marriage, she was the best wife a man could ask for, we didn't get divorced. She got cancer and passed away despite using everything modern medicine could do.)
Honestly. Women's advice is rarely good. I tried following women's advice for the entirely for adolescent years. And never once got a date. At 18 I turned to men's advice and simply by following that for a little I got all kinds of looks and much more attention from women than ever before.
I took 5 years to get to know my fiance it was difficult at times always heard our cultures are different it will be hard. 3 years into our relationship she told her parents and they had a fit that she wanted to marry a foreigner, I got back from Beijing August 18th. I proposed to her and bought a ring and we spent 2 weeks traveling China. Her parents seem the ring and said is it the foreigner who you choose to marry, she said yes. Their response was we understand you will marry who you love and accept your decision. So now they add me on WeChat and said I need to come back to China for the marriage lol. It does take time to get past the thinking of the parents especially when they have old school ideas for their daughter to marry a chinese man and stay in China. I am lucky as each time I go to see her it is like we are already married, we know much about each other and have many things in common. I have been watching both Matt and Winston's videos forever. I am glad to see this video. Dating a chinese woman is different from western women, I never thought I would be with a chinese women let alone marry one. We are like yinyang definitely, I think I am blessed by having a woman who loves me as much as I love her. Thanks guys, love your work keep up the amazing videos. Hope to see you both one day in China 😊👍
Wow! This video is so helpful! I've recently started dating a Chinese girl. I understand so much more now. I've been around the culture for awhile. However, I've never dated a girl from it until now. It's different and there's so much to learn. Which is why I'm looking up this stuff now. That part about meeting the family last is soo cool! Most of my problems with relationships would always stem from the Dad or Mom not liking me in the beginning. Thanks for making the video!
Such a stupid idea. Equality when it suits women but not when it suits women. I would show the door to any woman who expected you to open that door for her.
When my friend brought his Chinese wife to the US, she constantly called to find out where he was. She often didn't believe him. He would be at my Mom's house as she wanted to talk to my mom to get confirmation. He is not the cheating type and a very mellow guy. All this time, she was plotting to leave him and claim asylum as a "battered" wife. Turns out she didn't love him ever and just wanted to come to the US.
Tony P You can imagine men in western countries but of Chinese descent would be in those women's sights even more. There's that dark side of the psyche that, a man of that type might be popular and wanted by the local women, but he would still say, "woe is me; I cannot find a proper (i.e. Chinese) woman", thus making him vulnerable to such exploitation.
you guys are so funny, "just wanted to come to us"??? you think your messy dirty nasty boring usa cities with full of homeless drugsters robbers horrible terrible black people are better china's pretty safe green clean fun cities? pls open your eyes, come on.
To be honest, I would rather be blunt and honest with a woman about things and scare her off than be evasive and have a problem with her later because things like how many women I've been with was an issue for them. Perhaps somehow this works differently in China, but I find that the best way to meet a compatible person is to be so honest about yourself that the ones who stick around won't have a problem with the real you.
Kinjiru731 That’s right,,I drink,I smoke weed, I don’t want children and I will never marry you,,so if you don’t like it,,,ADIOS...Ohhh I almost forgot,,, you have to have your own money and place to live,,I am not a sugar daddy,,,now I can say ADIOS...
The family one is HUGE. I dated my girlfriend for 4 years before I met her family, because she was worried that they wouldn't accept me. Once I came to China and got a job here it showed my commitment to her and she finally introduced me to her family. This was the best way for us to do it and i'm glad she did, as a rejection from her family would have made things very difficult for us. Her family really like me and everything went really well. Also by doing it after several years it showed them that we were serious as a couple and that we knew each other well. Anyway, if your Chinese girlfriend introduces you to her family then it means that she wants to marry you and taking you meet her parents is showing this to them. It's a big thing.
Yeah, the full-face white makeup was a WTF. I know Japanese women have used it for centuries before white people arrived, so where does that definition of beauty come from? When men don't see their own women's natural skin tone as beautiful something has gone awry in the culture.
@@hshs5756 pretty obvious if you know anything about Asian history and culture. The richer people had jobs that allowed them to stay inside, carried in shaded carriages, etc so their skin was whiter. The poorer people out farming were very dark for obvious reasons. So it's a stigma that the tanner you are the poorer or less attractive you look.
As a chinese, I'd say going through personal stuff when being invited in a friend's home is simply a result of bad education, very irresponsible parenting from their family, same as the old videos about the spoiled little emperors（熊孩子）, this is just the spoiled brat grown up. It's so prevailing that seems like a "Chinese culture", which is such an unfortunate reality, because good manner and courtesy are supposed to be very important in our tradition...
HT Am Chinese and completely agree. What they described in the video is simply bad manner and disrespect for privacy which shouldn't be viewed as normality.
@@WLee-jb3oi I agree. I'm from Taiwan, so a Chinese. People in Taiwan don't flip through the host's items and drawers like that. We do ask questions about photos though. So what's described in the video is not Chinese culture, it's upbringing.
Ive had 2 Chinese exs in China neither of then did that. Though they both got mad if u didn't let them do my laundry and the second one would even start a fight with me in public if i didn't Let her carry everything. She was a very traditional girl from huebei though. She wouldn't do anything without asking for my permission first including when her friend said she is going to kill herself she asked me for permission to go see her friend to help her. If even 2 min late to get home buy be food to make it up to me. When cook at home cook only certain amount then wait till i was finished then she would eat if any left over. Cutting my nails and so on kneel down on the floor at my feet and wait tilm I was done. I've had many many gf mostly do to being scammed but my 3 chinese exs i can remember their names extremely easily. First suehui hope i spelled that correct. Second faunshin i know i spelled that wrong. Then 3rd jasmine. Last thing I'll say is i dont know why but when im with a chinese girl i feel like im on top of the universe. I miss that feeling. But trying to date a chinese girl outside of china is not easy.
One thing I would say is that when you recognize those cultural expectations then you can decide to either conform to them or overcome them, and good communication is key to doing that. If you don't know that a problem is being caused by differing cultural expectations then I think that is when things can go wrong.
I did my Master's degree in China and lived there for two years. I didn't know the language also my goal was to study Chinese there, and in the end, it was so bad for me that I developed a panic attack. It was an international campus, so I had to deal with several cultural differences, I named it Multicultural Shock. Watching your videos really helps me process thing that happened with me, although sometimes it's painful to watch some of the discussions. It's really a kind of therapy for me. I just wanted to say thank you for doing this.
I met my wife who is a Vietnamese immigrant living with her family here in San Jose California, And pretty much all your advice was still exactly true. Most surprising to me was the amount of resistance from some younger Vietnamese Guys and girls in the community. I got told I had “yellow fever” & “jungle fever” a few times; also the “why are you taking a girl from our community”. It was actually reversed, b/c I did learn to speak Vietnamese and we live in a mostly Asian neighborhood. That was 20 years ago, so the acceptance in the community is much better nowadays,
I like watching your videos late at night, and they're very enjoyable, until suddenly "I REEEEEEEMEMBER YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" blasts into my ears at 150db. I really wish the intro/outro music volume was equal to the volume of the rest of the video. Often times you have to turn the volume up to hear what you guys are saying, only to be sent into sound induced heart failure at the end of a video.
My wife introduced me to her parents after a couple of months of dating. I think the fact that she was early 30s and was probably getting a lot of pressure from her parents had something to do with it.
Surprised you didn't mention the bipolar thing. A lot of guys here in China say Chinese girls randomly switch from sweet, happy, caring to angry, shouty, violent.
Tafadzwa Kay I know what you're talking about man. I love my girl and we've been together for almost 2 years but I've experienced so many of these flip-outs so far that it's starting to heavily wear on me. Even though I met her parents at this point I know we don't have a future together. It breaks my heart but yeah, it's true and it's a problem the thing you're talking about.
The bipolar thing is primarily they don't know what they want and they don't know how to communicate it. And they got too influenced by others' opinions. In the west, people start dating since teenage or even younger, not in China. Many people would not get into romantic relationships till they are almost or way pass 20 years old. They are not allowed to think of such things. When they fall in love, they don't know how to behave and communicate their feelings, not do they know how to balance various relationship conflicts and pressures, thus the bipolar behaviour.
I can totally relate to what you just told. I had a chinese girlfriend and she hinted so much about marriage, and even showed me her mother via skype calls at time. We had only been together for some weeks but she was really into me. I supposed she thought about serious things but not completely as we had known for such a littl duration, ans I was really not into getting serious. I ended up breaking up with her because I knew it would happen. I hope I had seen this video back then to get my understanding clearer, I would have hurt her less...
@Yash Yadav there are good ones out there, but theyre rare, and hey, we all need some fucking therapy tbh. I got an amazingly emotionally mature girlfriend with huge boobs, we like the same things, learned how to take care of ourselves so that we were well enough to take care of each other, it's great. they're out there, you just have to filter out the shit ones, dont latch onto someone just because they came into your life, but also know if someone's awesome deep down, but needs to work on themselves (and you too). it does require some luck, but its not impossible
@Yash Yadav I 100% agree with you. I hated how in school and college, the guys and girls so easily gave up on finding the one and just banging and cheating on each other like there's no tomorrow. To me, "used goods" are a bad sign of infidelity and impatience. The reward of marriage was knowing that you and your spouse would spend the rest of your lives together experiencing the good and bad, indulging in each other, and raising children. But the culture has changed for the worse and I can't stand it. Luckily, this cultural leftist infection is a lot less prevalent in Eastern Europe, some of South America, and many places in Asia. I wish you the best!
Just be yourself. Be confident. Be a gentleman. If you are a foreigner you want to attract a Chinese female who desires your type. So do yourself as best as you can. I have been married to a native Chinese woman for 10 years.
well said guys, your favourite topic I know. I've been married to my Chinese wife for nearly 5 years now and can echo every sentiment you made. We are totally happy and her parents are supportive (which considering its Hunan is rare) but.... like you guys I'd been to china many times and (not based on race) got lucky to meet the woman I loved. Well done as always and thanks for including the hot Beijing scammer into the edit ;-)
Stupid comment warning: Over the last few videos of watching you guys(esp Serpentza, no hate CMilk, just found him first), Just realized your Mass Effect (original trilogy) N7 mark on your jacket. Def earned my Sub x2.
Thank you for the advice... all are so true but jealousy in some Asian girls is so true... they will give you so much trust and when you break them it’s gonna be so hard to bring it back to normal....
I just found this channel with this video and it's pretty spot on. I guess you can say I actually did try to chase for an Asian wife, but I genuinely had an interest in someone that was a little more traditional than the people around me. Seeing as how we were in lockdown this whole time, I searched online and eventually found a Chinese woman who has been an amazing part of my life. We talk every day, and while we have our differences, we work past them and come to an understanding. We have met each other's friends and family over video calls and have invested much time into our relationship. The only bad part is that we're still waiting for China to drop their travel restrictions. Anyway, you got my subscription and I look forward to browsing your channel.
Most Chinese parents still think moving into son-in-law's house is shameful. A family with good manner will never do it. If the woman cannot have clear idea about how to deal with her own family before marriage, one should not marry her.
Depends on the girl's own family economic condition. My grandma never lived with my father and my mother. They thought young people should have their own privacy and life. The generation gap couldn't be avoided if live together. I won't live with my papa/mom or my future husband's together. But don't mind to take care of them once they are getting old. Ppl can choose live close to each other.
Well. In all tradicional cultures u have it. I have pakistani friend that said that the family stays together even after marry. Ofc not always but is interesting. I think that asian traditions are family oriented in a way that westeners cant understand. If your parents in law have no one to take care of them besides your wife i see not problem IF they respect your house and rules and u manage the situation.
Not all Chinese girls mistrust. My wife trusts me! She doesn't check my phone. But then I am not the sort of person who cheats. And I met my wife's family within a few months of our first meeting.
Bro, this is definitely sound. Since I’ve been in Shenzhen, a lot of these points are spot on. I remember living in another city and I was dating a girl just Early dating and she took me to her parents place and I was confused because we had just met. Needless to say that didn’t work out but I’ll say Shenzhen has definitely opened my mind to dating Chinese women and really just women in general
I have been married to a woman from northern China for 21 years. The marriage is great! But I really agreed with your advice! One thing that may make the cultural gap narrower is a woman who has a college education or, the gold standard, has studied in the US or any western country. Thanks guys - your channel is great.
What are your opinions on bring an asian or chinese girl back to your native country. Do you think it best to stay there, or bring them home? Many have said lots of asian girls can't adjust to American culture, especially suburban / rural culture which is very individualistic and disconnected.
Many in America work from home, and only get out once or twice a week to shop, and maybe one other time to go to a restaurant or something. Asian's often seem to like to be far more social.
I have been maried to a Filipina now for over 4 years.. i was bored so i started exploring utube and ran across this video.. it is so amazing how much the 2 countries are similar.. everything you discussed i have faced with my wife... I will say this once you have won there hearts you have a very wonderful and carring woman for the rest of your life. as long as you give them the respect and time they require..
Your point about Chinese people being blunt is 100% accurate. Visiting my relatives back in China , some of the first things asked after the initial greetings were “how much do you weigh”, “are you dating”, “how much do you make”. One of my cousins even straight up told me that they think black people and Indians are dirty . I was so shocked but just went along with it b/c I knew it’s just the way it is in China .
Another FANTASTIC video guys!! Fairly bristling with sage advice regarding this very important topic. Four years ago on Christmas Eve by sheer randomness I met a Filipina who has rocked my world in a wonderful way after my first marriage that had grown toxic. So much of what you said rings true in the connection I've experienced as a Westerner connected to a sweet and genuine and in many ways simple, (in a very sweet way) Asian woman. I wasn't trying to find this woman it just happened. And I completely get the attraction. And because of the valid concerns you discuss in your video, we have moved very slowly. It is a blast for both of us. We are in love at least our understanding of it. Nobody tried matchmaking us, or putting us in a blind date sort of thing we did this online connection on our own. Now with that said she found me through her sister's husband who works with a guy I went to high school with. So only two degrees of separation. Even with all the physical distance. Your advice rings true! Thank you for sharing! Phenomenal advice guys!!
Great video... maybe my favorite one with the two of you. Studying Chinese now due to teaching English to Chinese children. Dated and loved a Japanese woman for several years, so some kind of renewed interest is occurring. But not really doing anything but studying the language. I like the idea of it just happening. Thanks guys !
I have to agree 100% with the jealousy. I used to get so angry that she never seemed to trust me. I felt so insulted and she accused me of cheating on me, checked my phone all the time, she even called the numbers she didn't recognise. I even remember giving her my phone because hers was broken. I texted her from my work phone saying I missed her. Months later she was going through my messages and she found my message to her and she was so upset, she was hyperventilating and crying. I had nearly forgotten I had sent it and I was racing in my mind trying to think how that message got there. I must say, she is a lot better now, 5 years later.
My two unexpected take aways from this video is the invasive inspection of your home and goods, and the idea of public punishment/shaming of an errant man. The physical striking was a big surprise. It made me wonder how much domestic abuse happens in China.
😂I'm dating a chinese girl right now and well.... I dunno. Our first date, we just met with no plan at all and improvised, she just payed for all of her stuff herself without any hesitation or expectation. But well, she was pretty direct, so were I and she appreciated it and told me so. We agreed on a second date and she even texted me that she likes me and really could imagine us to be more than friends. She didn't care about how much money I make but she asked a lot of questions about my job in general and was pretty interested in my work in particular^^ But well, she is obviously not dating for fun and tbh that's a big plus for me. I don't want a one time fling and never did. But well, lets see how it goes😂
Can't speak for China, but in Korea the best advice is to marry an orphan so you don't have to deal with the family :D Question - are Taiwan girls less clingy.. I sure seemed like to me?
While there are cultural differences to deal with when dating Filipinas, there is not the same stigma for them getting involved with a "foreigner". Most families in The Philippines have relatives or acquaintances that are married to foreigners. My former fiancee was from a smaller city (third class/pop. 130K+) on Mindanao, but it is a provincial capital and has daily flights to Manila and Cebu. It was not unusual to run into other Americans on the street, or in any hotel. Since English is one of the country's two official languages, and college and higher are taught exclusively in English, there really wasn't much of a language problem. Likewise, many signs and menus in The Philippines emphasize English. That is not to say that the average Filipina speaks perfect American English, but most are fairly proficient. In many ways, The Philippines is the most American friendly country in SE Asia, as might be expected from its history.
I tried to make a relationship work with a very mistrusting Chinese girl, and it melted down in short order. Every single time we had an innocent misunderstanding or even slight disagreement, she turned it into a reason to doubt everything about our relationship. It was impossible to be secure and thus impossible to feel secure, which meant I lost interest every single day. On top of that, if there was ever a time I knew for a fact she was wrong about something, she would brush it off as me not understanding Chinese culture or something along those lines, even if I knew for a fact that she disagreed not just with me but also with Chinese culture to boot. It's just my personal anecdote, but I think there are enough collective anecdotes of this sort to constitute statistical evidence. Lack of trust and quickness to make accusations will kill a relationship.
Why did you not use that shit to get some good sex dude. My chick is Asian. Not chinese but she gets this jealous trip and tries to get all controling on me. I just flip that shit on her and get my nut then laugh becuse its all some good dtama. Better than 📺 bro.
Great advice. I live in Australia and have started dating a chinese woman. Most of what you have said applies. 1st date : coffee. 2nd date: a long walk. 3rd date restaurant lunch. Love and marriage are starting to entwine themselves into her conversation. Which is hard because her English requires us to use a phone translator. !!! Most people wouldn't give this scenario 5 minutes of their time but I find her so feminine, refined and warm it's hard to stop myself from banging my head on a brick wall. It's like she is luring me into her world. And that world doesn't seem bad at all. Great and helpful video guys. Thank you.
Are Southern girls different? I've spent 2 years in Beijing and am now in Harbin and girls up here are different from how you guys describe them. They often demand on paying for (not splitting) restaurant bills, they don't really seem to enjoy being doted on, and I don't get the vibe that they're all looking for marriage and have met plenty of younger women (not from clubs) that are interested in more casual relationships.
ofcourse girls from each region is quite different. Northeastern girls will fit into their respective stereotypical cultural archetype of being blunt, forward coming, dominant... shanghainese girls will be more casual, chongqing girls will be harsh, evil plotting and full of secret agendas, while southern girls are much more gentle and looking to settle
I met my girlfriend on FB 5 years ago, and yes, even when only known by skype and texting, we consider us as a couple already. She is from Taiwan, but even when being more influenced by western culture, and even if her attitude and talking is more comparable to what I know from western people, there is still a huge difference between our cultures. I am also aware that there are also a lot of chinese stereotypes in Taiwan, so, I am curious and excited to find out how she is in reality :) . I am going to see her this december. Do you have any last advices for me? I have never made a video before, but I would like to start with documenting this at least a little bit, for the first as a sort of tribute to you, and secondly because I think you guys to a good job with teaching others how much richer your life quality gets, only by KNOWING about other cultures, experiencing how awesome this colorful planet is, and thirdly teaching them, that no matter how different we are, that we are still the same dull people on this blue planet, revolving around the milkyway.
I can relate to what you guys are saying in this video, family influence can really make or break a relationship. Even over here in North America, there are lots of Chinese families that hang on to these traditions. In many old Chinese communities like San Francisco, Chicago, and Lower Manhattan these etiquettes are still in practice.
My head is resonating so loudly with everything you said, I don't know where to begin. I've been married almost 19 years to a Vietnamese/Chinese woman, and it seems I've experienced damn near everything you guys covered in this video (and a few other vids on Chinese girls; I'm a relatively new subscriber; I discovered you through our mutual friend Naomi Wu). After dating for 6 months, my then future wife made a de facto marriage proposal to me, which I subsequently formalized with a reciprocal proposal and a ring. We got married 6 months after that. I didn't meet her parents (in Los Angeles) until we were engaged, after she had already moved in with me. She was privately proud of me but rather fearful of what her parents might think of her dating a white guy, so I was a secret for quite awhile. Poor sense of color matching outfits? Yep. Random dress-up vs. dress down occasions? Yep. Friends invited to check me out? Yep. Family & friends asking how much money I make, when we're getting married, when we're going to have kids? Yep. Yep. Yep. I could go on and on and on, but you know the drill. Glad to know I have some well-spoken friends in the "Asian Wife Club", as I like to call it. Luckily, there seems to be enough of us to form a healthy support network. 😉 Thanks for sharing and helping so many guys navigate this rugged territory! And for those who ignore your advice? I pity their tortured souls.
I can relate to all of that. However my wife is somewhat different. We had been dating just for a couple of weeks when we ended up eating takeaway bbq in our undies at my place. That's when she realized I'm not in to that pretty girlygirly stuff and she started being herself. Been a couple for over nine years, and married for seven. If I have a sniffle she say she will take time off work and care for me. I almost have to start a fight to tell her that it's just a sniffle, I can handle myself
The video is more than a year old, but as a white American woman, married to a Chinese man, I can totally relate on some things. We got married fairly quickly, but we are both older, and almost immediately clicked and knew this is what we wanted from the beginning. There were no games, it was all very straight forward. He'd been married previously, so introducing me to his family has been a bit of an uphill battle, but he's not very involved with them to begin with. I think if they were in his life more, we probably would have had to wait to get married, or maybe not even gotten to that point, because of what his mother thinks of foreigners. I've only been following you guys (ADVChina and Serpentza) for a few months, but it's given me a lot of insight to living here. i've been here for the past two years, and it's just kind of nice to see other people experiencing similar things. Anyway, I don't want to ramble. Just adding to the number of AM/WF couples that are so rarely seen here.
Such an untrue stereotype. No one ever talks about how many deadbeat, golddigging "men" are out there. And all the men who brag about having a rich wife/girlfriend.
I met my Chinese wife in USA. She already had a green card when we met. We were good friends for a while. She didn't show intimate attitudes for me until both her parents died. After that she said we had to get married. I said why not so we did. 18 years of marriage and still OK. Honestly have to say that is it near impossible to to find a equally good wife in the USA.
You guy's videos are awesome! I'm dating a Chinese girl I met in America. I'm going to be visiting her parents soon in China. I feel like your videos have me prepared for what I'm getting into.
Any advice for someone who fell hard in love with a Chinese girl who was studying in Canada. She broke up with me, probably because I didn't realize everything I was missing without realizing it. She said I had low emotional intelligence, actually she was really mean compared to girls I've dated in the past. While that relationship didn't work I'm very stubborn and she changed my life. So I'm holding out hope that there's another Chinese girl out there that's a better match for me and hopefully I'm a better match for her. I've started learning mandarin and I've been watching alot of your videos. Also I should add that she was only dating me because she was jealous of her girlfriend's boyfriend and because I have blonde hair. Now I wasn't the greatest at the relationship either I was pretty clingy to be honest.
Watching this from a Taiwanese perspective. Most of it is still very true and applies there, and even among Chinese-Americans with first generation parents. The more they speak their native languages with their family, the more this dating advice would apply. There's another tidbit that I wanted to share, but being rich and/or educated INCREASES your chances at staying with the girl, as this ties in VERY closely with introducing you to her family. After all, if you got nothing of value to show off, her family won't be happy, and they may pressure her enough to end the relationship by asking questions nonstop. It's very depressingly shallow, but you'll have to be prepared for that. And of course, always look your best, including understanding manners and all that stuff. I think the main difference inbetween Taiwanese vs mainlander Chinese is that the Taiwanese actually don't mind foreigners ESPECIALLY if they're white, or of paler skin colors. It's really racist, but a commonly accepted belief especially among older people. Don't let that stop you from chasing the love of your life though :)
What an Alfa male knows, that most men don’t Is : 1- Be the master of your territory 2- Be a good listener 3-tell her how you feel w/o explanation.. 4- Give it your best effort 5- Cooperate w/o compromising your terms 6- weekly, Find new and innovative ways to make her feel good Be the kind of man your women would have an affair with don’t be emotional about your feelings don’t tell her how you feel until at least 24 hrs after you have them A task is not what we intend to have-- it is what we are meant to have Important -- women don’t want another women in their relationship - they want a hard , masculine man they can count on - And masculine doesn't mean - ignoring her, hurting her physically and emotionally , etc etc. Lessons for men are a must to recognize , needy, clingy, jealous, problematic situations that are regular and quickly arise -- and this is before marriage - Pay particular attention to family situations mostly her relationship with her farther and men - if you see her bitching about other men - then it is only time before you become her next target -run now - no matter how hot she is -- Women asking personal things quickly in a relationship -- may not be what matt and Winston think is a problem - yes it is annoying -- but a womens intention is sizing a man up as best suiter for her life and if she loves you -- ( this is for all women) - they will test you daily sometimes several times a day with an integrity test -- they WILL give you an unconscious pass or fail grades ( example : hey darling check out that women over there - it is OK to be truthful - Don’t you think she is very beautiful?) choose your next answer wisely - ( meaning = don’t ever tell her the truth - this is not bad and not lying- women are smart very smart -- they know the truth -- they are mostly in low self esteem and want you to bull shit them -- and say ( no- no I do not think she is nice at all -- you my love are really much hotter ) This is the start -- and most men do not know the real life , masculine rules of engagement -for successful lifetime committed relationships -
We as men are not good at relationships -- but just knowing, what rules a woman's emotions is a sure fire start - Good luck men -- we all need it -- ( luck- where preparation meets opportunity) think about this -hard I have touched only the surface of a mile long journey -- yes it is tough - but women need and deserve better masculine men and so does society -- be that man that stands out and let others wonder why you are a leader -- if you know the rules -of emotional engagement then - any women - anywhere - anytime --will not be a problem -- just be a great man --
Hi! Thk u for u advices & the effort for writing them down, thus sharing with all of us. Girls & Women are wonderful and fascinating human beings, most needed & essential to our mental sanity & well-being, be them as Daughter, Mother or Wife. Remember this & now on, more Respect to them all. Regards! Jpier.
Really love your videos! As for this topic you hit on the #1 problem dating a Chinese girl.... jealousy! I was in a wonderful relationship with a woman I really loved. Things were awesome. We were hand in glove... but one morning I woke up and caught her going through my photos on iPad. I was at first upset that she had my password but more so when I found out she was deleting any and all photos of other women I have met as friends or casually dated in the previous few years here in China. Now you would figure I would be very upset but my anger was nothing compared to the typhoon heading my way. I was called everything in the book, slapped and punched. Etc. I packed my stuff and never looked back. What a very sad ending to what was a really wonderful relationship. Keep up the good work and by the way you saved my ass on my first trip to Beijing with the bar girl scam. Thank you so much! 👍
My wife is from Wuhan. Your advice is spot on, especially with "meeting the parents". It's much different here in the west than in China, where it pretty much means "we're getting married". You're spot on about taking care of you - my wife is constantly babying me. No complaints though since I know that it's because she genuinely cares about me.
I'm currently married to a first generation Panamanian Chinese women. Some of what you said applied to her but thankfully not the jealousy issue. I was the secret for many years before meeting her family, so I totally understand where you are coming from in that regard.
Here's the reason why bfs especially foreign bfs are kept top secret. When a guy dates a girl (here in China) she most tell him if she ia a virgin or not or about previous bfs. Her 'friends' and family will tell the bf about her previous bfs. Now if she ever dated a foreigner, the Chinese guy will immediately dump her. There are varied racist reasons
Yeah it's the same for me, a white guy, if a girl i'm with ever dated a black guy I won't have a serious relationship with her, just treat her as a fuck buddy. If she was with an Asian guy before... mmm kind of weird but not as big a deal compared to dating a black guy.
@@@Kotiara123 You're sounding pretty insecure right now (redflag levels of insecurity). You know that there are also white/asian guys that are packing bunkers busters and black guys who aren't. However in regards to your insecurity, the question to ask your woman/yourself - if these past guys are so great, where are they now? There is nothing more unattractive in either men or women then insecurity. That shit kills a relationship fast.
in general, Chinese women are rather small down there. The older ones (40-60) were sometimes trained to "squeeze" which is a specialty not known in the West. I found this in a relationship with a Chinese-American woman who was more old-fashioned than her sisters living in China.
Most guys are wary of girls who have dated black guys. In part because that's just a bad decision, but also because the risk of STD's goes through the roof if she has ever fucked a black,.
@@Mark-ft8yx Great comment! Also, just to add something to the mix. I dated an British born Indian girl who told me she'd dated a black guy, she revealed that he had the smallest penis she'd seen.
Great video guys. You are bang on right with all points. I have been here for 8 years now, and the wifey be a local. Bozhou, capital of Chinese medicine. Been following you guys for a while. Great stuff. Make a vid in Bozhou! Stay awesome!
Well, this is culture difference. For instance, in American, most ppl have to make their own living when they are in college and have student loan since then. In China, most ppl will get financial support from their parents. In China, financial responsibility is a good trait or one of the core value for a man in a family. (I am not talking about those over greedy women). Is that means Chinese is more childish or immature? probably for some of them. For me and my friends around me, we will work hard to let our children live better and support them the same way as our families did for us. That is why we have a stronger family tie than western counties. In America, they need to pay almost everything for themselves, and that is why their culture is paying for yourself.
This is funny about them wanting to get into your personal business. Many years ago, I dated a girl from Hong-Kong here in the US. She wasn't that extreme, though her friends were nosey...haha! We all had fun as I was withholding information from them. I just started seeing a lovely woman from mainland China, also here in the US., and she's already popping those personal questions. 🙂 She's been a good sport about my withholding information, though boy, is she persistent. From my limited experience, I will say their persistence and assertiveness is very refreshing. I can't think of another culture where the women demonstrate these characteristics yet maintain such femininity at the same time
Met my chinese wife online years ago on a chat program while she was still in college. We talked online off an on for a year, then talked online more often, leading to me calling on the phone, twice a day (This was before I knew of phone cards back in 2002) We never dated in person. Flew over and met her family and let them know we were getting married. A year later, she flew over and we were married 3 months later...Still happily married after 13 years.
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You are awesome guys, @.@ I'm so Jealous of how easy you make everything look.
I just moved to China. You guys inspired me. I have to be honest, I'm struggling. Could be growing pains. Either way, I would really love to have a beer with you two. A dream come true
@@minimalisttraveler9337 We Chinese love you. You need to love us too.
u guys should have waited till the rain stopped then do the video- I checked the weather when this video was uploaded- it wasn't going to rain for 40 days and 40 nights- stop being beta males
My wife visited Sydney Australia. We met there and dated for about 3 months. Then she returned home to Hong Kong. We wrote most days for about 6 months. (It was before the internet). After 6 months I wrote, "This is silly. We should either get married or say good buy. I don't want to say goodbye."My wife wrote back and said, "You had better see my father." So, at 21 years of age, I flew to Hong Kong, stayed in a hotel for 2.5 weeks. Each day I visited my wife's family. They came to realize that my wife and I were serious. After two weeks I asked my wife's father for his consent for my wife and I to marry. My wife and I have been married for 40 years and we are still in love.
Regards,
Geoff. Reeks
Awesome story! I live in HK now and people here are very nice. I see why you're still married 40 years later.
Geoffrey Reeks 😎👍🏽
I’m off to China soon I’m 24 I hope it is a great experience
Wow, 40 years, lucky couple! Happy for you
Wonderful story,... I only have a Japanese wife,... my dad-in-law passed away two years ago. We stayed at his place later and I used his library for studying in the morning,... at his desk I began exploring the drawers and then I found the very first letter which I wrote to him after the marriage trying to introduce myself and apologizing for not asking permission for our marriage.
"When a woman asks you to meet her parents - it's basically a female proposal." - Absolutely. Couldn't agree more.
Instructions unclear, now dating Panda.
VarietyGamer panda panda panda panda brrrrrra
huahahahahahahhaahahahahahah
Actually funny
panda has two color, black and white
Panda has anorgasmia tho.
"If she moans about you holding a door open on your first date just imagine what the rest of your life will be like."
I laughed so loud I woke my dog up.
I got a friend who was not alarmed by that. And not only by that. We all told him individually to beat it and move on. And then he really moved on. With her and without us. Okay, his choice. As friends we wished him all the best knowing deep down this will backfire one day really hard.
AAAaaaand it did. As we later found out he had constant issues with her even over small stuff. Once they had a full fight it seemed over but they somehow worked it out. Probably by having a child. Time passed by and it started again. So they had another child. Time again, problem again, but this time no 3rd child but divorce. The hard way. She managed to spend more money as he could earn totalling up a sum of 30 000 USD on individual loans and credit card overdrafts where each of them added interest each day making it a very expensive life on money neither of them had. During the divorce process he was totally down and ready to accept the full debt just so she would agree on having shared custody on both childs. Since I was the one prepping the divorce papers and all that I slapped him really hard to get him back to earth. I told him exactly when and what to say in court to get a 50-50 solution in all points of the day and it worked out well. Court has split the debt evenly among both as well as the shared custody. It took almost a year to get it done where he had stil to go to work abroad on shitty jobs just to be able to pay everything off while leaving him with less than minimum wage while she was doing fine living off child support in their appartment he was willing to leave for her and get his own "new home". Not to mention that she already found another guy who was gladly sponsoring her life already.
So yeah.. just imagine what the rest of your like will be like. It may just turn this way. Or even worse. Or maybe not that bad but still ugly. Why would you do this to yourself? Let those people be alone forever if they wish to be like that. Or give them the opportuinty to meet someone similar to them so they can ruin each others life. Stay away, stay safe. We all have only one life to live so don't go wasting it on people who are just not worth it :)
@@_J.P._ Aaaaand that's why we have the Second Amendment. 😈
@@_J.P._ Just like I said, the Asian girls I've dated, smile and love when I open a door. Some argue to pay for food and are happy to split as a compromise. If you goto a family dinner and multiple people are NOT wrestling each other for the bill, you're in the wrong family. If they have a traditional family base and a job, that's who you want to go for. That's the woman who will break her back to take care of kids. Also the real ones will do stuff like order water, have a shocked look on their face when they look at entree prices, suggest we go somewhere more practical. Those are the girls who will keep you on a good path and will not take shit from you screwing around, drinking secretly etc. They WILL find out. There was not one purchase I made where she didn't try to ask what the utility of the purchase was and why not buy the cheaper version if it works the same. Rational, Strong, Not afraid to be girly and allow her man to pamper her. Last tip. Never leave them waiting, when you say you'll be somewhere, be there. Nothing brings down your "reliability" meter like leaving your girl outside a dark business for an hour.
@@dankmheems290 Dang, sounds like I need to look for a nice Asian girl like that. Getting sick and tired of all the American college girls around here who are as flimsy as a piece of wet paper.
Me too, I would hold the door for her. Because I'm from the south of the USA. And then I would allow her to walk into the building and I would be walking to my car.
Guys, I'm chinese and my wife kept me a secret for years from their parents too, and friends. So it's not a "foreigner" thing, it's chinese girl taking their time to "test water". On the other hand, if they want to eagerly bring you, someone from a foreign country or Handsome hunk of a man to see their parents or friends, it is just to show off and this relationship don't last, most of the time.
Yes chinese girls gets jealous easily, not immediately, but they do check on your secretly, so once you are married, don't be unfaithful or flirt with anyone else for fun.
And yes, please don't go for girls without seeing them WITHOUT MAKEUP, search youtube and you will see how they can transform a ugly girl into a princess, so please go in with both eyes open.
You forgot them dying their hair Blonde, not just the face makeup 💄😱
Was married to Chinese girl 9 years had two sons, she suddenly abandoned us all, that's only insight I have.
Dam bro. She might have got some of that hypergyme I keep hearing about on the UA-cam.
Did she take your kids or do you still have them
@@user-gb6jv3ju2l He would had only been so lucky if she took the kids.
I'm sorry man.
@@umaribnabdullah829 I wished. I got an old lady and three kids.
Every Chinese woman has an advanced degree in forensic accounting.
Xyzct Gotcha bro!!!
Having been in a long term relationship with a Chinese woman, this is definitely true.
My Chinese wife actually is a forensic accountant for the US Federal Government lol, so metaphorically you are correct haha.
She keeps a graph with 2 curves showing the payout of your life insurance policy and your potential lifetime earnings. If your earnings downcross the life insurances, you better watch your back.
David Brown Or a black hole.
There were enough cultural differences between this American and my British wife. My hat is off to you both for your successful marriages.
Georgia Hunter their success is most likely down to finances
Did you marry Shirley Valentine?
On the surface, you would not think there would be. However, I'm willing to bet that there are more differences than one would expect at first glance.
So true. Hindsight is always 20/20. I wish I saw your videos seven years ago. My first time in China my girlfriend (later my wife) set up a dinner at a Peking Duck restaurant for us and her family. This was 12 hours after my plane landed. Being a westerner in China for the first time I didn't think anything of it. In fact, I was flattered because that's what may be accepted here as normal or polite and not with a hidden agenda. Anyway, she got a private room in the restaurant and not only were her parents there but her aunts, uncles, and grandmother. Talk about no pressure. I had no idea this was an engagement party. And, I didn't know I was engaged yet.
Lmao that is hillarious though
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Congrats bro. An awkward situation to be sure, meeting the family like that.
🤣
I would have my boyfriend 3 months prior training..... Actually, I did.
I almost married a Chinese woman in my mid-20s. Back then I bought into the clichés of exotic, adventurous romance, far from home and all that. You know, the whole "Pocahontas"-thing.
Today I'm glad that the thing didn't work out. The older I get, the more my ideal woman became one with the same cultural background as me. Someone who understands my sense of humor, gets my references, shares my basic view of the world, or at least really understands it. Nowadays the thought of having this cultural barrier between you and your partner and constantly having to explain everything, or have explained everything to me, is rather dreadful.
Oh snap. You did right. Now I am shacked up with a bunch of Asians and do not even got space to fart.
TrangleC I am looking at this from the opposite perspective. I’m in my 50’s, married twice with 3 kids. Both American wives were... well, American. I have very recently met a Chinese woman who intrigues me greatly. I was taking her and a friend to catch a bus to NYC last weekend. On the way she pointed at Wendy’s and said in her broken English “hamburger”. As soon as we got on the highway I asked for my French fries, she ignored her own food, put catsup on each individual fry and fed me while I was driving. Then she fed me my burger and lifted my drink straw to my mouth. It was the most erotic, non-erotic thing I have ever experienced. I don’t know when she will return from NYC but I can’t wait to see if there’s anything further with her.
@Username Utterly dimwitted comment. Go and get a new brain, this one doesn't do.
First of all, I'm not American. I never watched the Kardashians or some Bachelor or whatever and even if I or my girl would know and watch that stuff, who says that that would be all she would be watching or be interested in?
And who says the Chinese girl I was with was any better and didn't watch equally bad Chinese TV shows?
I was talking about sharing a common cultural basis and having a similar sense of humor and getting each other's references.
How do you imbecile get from that to "so you only want a girl that watches some TV show I don't like"?
Holy shit man.
Yea. That’s true. It’s very hard to get with someone of another culture unless ur both willing to learn from each other. But I hope u have since stopped seeing asian women as “exotic Pocahontas thing type of romance” (Pocahontas is Native American... not even the same race). I’m surprised there’s no comment calling u a racist for not wanting to marry out of ur culture since u seem like ur white. But these people are ok when non whites don’t want to marry out of their culture. But anyways, I totally agree. Most interracial marriages just don’t work out long run unless both parties are patient and understanding.
@@gamer3d147 Thanks for the thoughtful comment, but you misunderstood the Pocahontas reference.
I did not mean that Pocahontas was a Chinese or Asian woman. I did bring up Pocahontas because her story is probably the most famous example of the story of a (white) guy traveling to a very far away and alien place, meeting a young woman from a very different culture there and falling in love with her.
It is a bit like if we would be talking about teenagers falling in love and I would bring up "Romeo and Juliet". That wouldn't mean the teenagers we talk about have to be Italian.
You know what I mean?
It is just a culturally well known example of a bigger concept that was comparable with my situation at the time.
The girl was not Pocahontas and she was not Native American, but our story was much like the story of Pocahontas and whatever the British dude was called who traveled to America and fell in love with her.
Yes, it is very easy to get accused of racism nowadays, but the way my personal view on what would be my ideal partner for marriage has changed, doesn't really have to do anything with race.
My issue is 100% with culture, not race.
I would have absolutely no problem marrying a woman who is from another race, but grew up in the same culture as me.
Yes, I am white. I am German, to be precise. There are Asian people who were born and raised in Germany, or came here as children and are culturally 100% German.
For example, during the Korean War and during the Vietnam War, many German families adopted Korean or Vietnamese orphans to save them from the war.
Those kids grew up in German families and because their adoptive families didn't know much about Korean or Vietnamese culture, they raised them just like German children.
It is a bit funny when you meet people in Germany who look Asian, but have very stereotypical German names and behave and talk just like Germans. That is nothing special with American Asians in the USA of course, but here in Germany it still is unusual and can be slightly amusing.
My sister's best friend in college was such a girl. She was second generation German of Korean descend. Her parents both were adopted war children.
Her name was Christel, a typical Bavarian name and she spoke with a thick Bavarian accent and liked to wear traditional Bavarian dresses and to cook Bavarian food, while looking 100% Korean.
She definitely had some habits that were very untypical for Asian girls.
For example, she was a notorious hugger. She didn't like shaking hands, but always hugged everybody, even people she just met.
I remember one day we were all helping my sister move to another apartment and had been carrying furniture and boxes up and down stairs all day and when we were finished and said goodbye, she wanted to give me one of her famous hugs and I told her not to do it because I was all sweaty and stinky.
She just grumbled "Who cares!" and hugged me for 20 seconds or so, like she did with everyone else.
I would have no problem marrying a German girl like her, regardless of her race. What counts is that she and I would share a common culture (even though I'm personally not Bavarian, but from another state in Germany, to the west of Bavaria, but it is close enough, culturally), have the same kind of humor, understand each other's references and so on.
You see, the misunderstanding between you and me over the Pocahontas reference is a good example for what I am talking about.
When you marry someone from the same culture, they will understand such references and what you are trying to say without problem and without the need to explain it.
I think when two people are raised in different cultures, there will always remain a certain barrier of understanding and mentality between them, even when they constantly explain stuff to each other.
That doesn't seem like a big deal when you are young, but I think the older people get, the more they value familiarity.
At least that is how it was for me.
Chinese women do not date for fun. There is a point to it, and that is marriage. If you've been dating a Chinese woman for a year, its time to set a wedding date and if they suspect you've been wasting their time, they will get very upset with you. If you aren't ready for commitment, break it off with them early, don't string them along.
@Andrew Whyte
Those are affairs, not dating.
Go to hong kong n u will find dating for fun.
@@danman1287
Hong Kong was free to develop a different culture
even so ,its much better to date a married husband/wife like your president trump did , western people like to date dad or mom or daughter or or son or hooker or hacker for fun.
Imo, that's just traditional women of the east or west.
My Chinese wife asked once how many girls I had slept with, then a few years later she asked how many girls I had dated before her. Then she got mad and said I was a liar because I gave her a different number. Once had calmed down I had to explain that I hadn't slept with every woman I ever dated - since she asked a different question, of course I gave her a different answer. But I learned quickly to guard my words carefully. Yes, she did get jealous - but was always testing to see if I was lying. (Now to be fair we were both on our 2nd marriage, and her husband had cheated on her - so I accepted the mistrust... to a point. I also told her that day of the 2nd question, that I gave her honest numbers, and I will never answer that question again.
(Before anyone jumps on the past tense usage - we had a wonderful marriage, she was the best wife a man could ask for, we didn't get divorced. She got cancer and passed away despite using everything modern medicine could do.)
Dating rule 1: Never believe dating advice from women!
Wish i knew this growing up with a single mom
true. you dont ask fish how to catch fish. you ask a fisherman
Honestly. Women's advice is rarely good.
I tried following women's advice for the entirely for adolescent years. And never once got a date.
At 18 I turned to men's advice and simply by following that for a little I got all kinds of looks and much more attention from women than ever before.
Too true, love it....
True
I took 5 years to get to know my fiance it was difficult at times always heard our cultures are different it will be hard. 3 years into our relationship she told her parents and they had a fit that she wanted to marry a foreigner, I got back from Beijing August 18th. I proposed to her and bought a ring and we spent 2 weeks traveling China.
Her parents seem the ring and said is it the foreigner who you choose to marry, she said yes. Their response was we understand you will marry who you love and accept your decision. So now they add me on WeChat and said I need to come back to China for the marriage lol. It does take time to get past the thinking of the parents especially when they have old school ideas for their daughter to marry a chinese man and stay in China. I am lucky as each time I go to see her it is like we are already married, we know much about each other and have many things in common. I have been watching both Matt and Winston's videos forever. I am glad to see this video. Dating a chinese woman is different from western women, I never thought I would be with a chinese women let alone marry one. We are like yinyang definitely, I think I am blessed by having a woman who loves me as much as I love her.
Thanks guys, love your work keep up the amazing videos. Hope to see you both one day in China 😊👍
I really don't know how you guys get away with being so honest but keep it up as long as you can!
Wow! This video is so helpful! I've recently started dating a Chinese girl. I understand so much more now. I've been around the culture for awhile. However, I've never dated a girl from it until now. It's different and there's so much to learn. Which is why I'm looking up this stuff now.
That part about meeting the family last is soo cool! Most of my problems with relationships would always stem from the Dad or Mom not liking me in the beginning. Thanks for making the video!
Open doors for your date in China and 10 others will run through before your girl :)
It sure happened to my husband and me.
Darryl K hahahaha good one
Such a stupid idea. Equality when it suits women but not when it suits
women. I would show the door to any woman who expected you to open that
door for her.
Using Western etiquette in an Eastern country. Logical fallacy
Not logic, just different.
When my friend brought his Chinese wife to the US, she constantly called to find out where he was. She often didn't believe him. He would be at my Mom's house as she wanted to talk to my mom to get confirmation. He is not the cheating type and a very mellow guy. All this time, she was plotting to leave him and claim asylum as a "battered" wife. Turns out she didn't love him ever and just wanted to come to the US.
Tony P You can imagine men in western countries but of Chinese descent would be in those women's sights even more. There's that dark side of the psyche that, a man of that type might be popular and wanted by the local women, but he would still say, "woe is me; I cannot find a proper (i.e. Chinese) woman", thus making him vulnerable to such exploitation.
Don't they say "only date and marry an Asian woman in Asia certainly don't bring her home"
Best bet is to knock them up and marry them in Asia. Cmilk is no fool.
you guys are so funny, "just wanted to come to us"??? you think your messy dirty nasty boring usa cities with full of homeless drugsters robbers horrible terrible black people are better china's pretty safe green clean fun cities? pls open your eyes, come on.
That's women for you man not just Chinese dude...
To be honest, I would rather be blunt and honest with a woman about things and scare her off than be evasive and have a problem with her later because things like how many women I've been with was an issue for them. Perhaps somehow this works differently in China, but I find that the best way to meet a compatible person is to be so honest about yourself that the ones who stick around won't have a problem with the real you.
agree 100%. I don't date guys who hide their bad sides. Because what you say - and 'cause it's utterly boring.
I agree with you! I prefer men being blunt first. Save each other's time :)
I agree with you. Honesty may not be appreciated by some people, but whoever appreciates your honesty is a right person to be considered.
Kinjiru731 That’s right,,I drink,I smoke weed, I don’t want children and I will never marry you,,so if you don’t like it,,,ADIOS...Ohhh I almost forgot,,, you have to have your own money and place to live,,I am not a sugar daddy,,,now I can say ADIOS...
@@imandra7 A guy will always hide his bad side with a new girl. You are saying the opposite of what you truly want
The family one is HUGE. I dated my girlfriend for 4 years before I met her family, because she was worried that they wouldn't accept me. Once I came to China and got a job here it showed my commitment to her and she finally introduced me to her family. This was the best way for us to do it and i'm glad she did, as a rejection from her family would have made things very difficult for us. Her family really like me and everything went really well. Also by doing it after several years it showed them that we were serious as a couple and that we knew each other well.
Anyway, if your Chinese girlfriend introduces you to her family then it means that she wants to marry you and taking you meet her parents is showing this to them. It's a big thing.
I like natural beauty as opposed to make up
Yeah, the full-face white makeup was a WTF. I know Japanese women have used it for centuries before white people arrived, so where does that definition of beauty come from? When men don't see their own women's natural skin tone as beautiful something has gone awry in the culture.
@#1 ratbag no I actually mean that. A natural face that is beuatiful with out make up is way more beautiful than a caked up dollface
Absolutely! I think their natural tan skin is so much more beautiful than pale white fake skin!
@@hshs5756 pretty obvious if you know anything about Asian history and culture. The richer people had jobs that allowed them to stay inside, carried in shaded carriages, etc so their skin was whiter. The poorer people out farming were very dark for obvious reasons. So it's a stigma that the tanner you are the poorer or less attractive you look.
That's one of the things i really liked about Chinese women. They are very naturally beautiful and retain that beauty for a very long time
I'm a Chinese guy even don't know how to dating a Chinese girl 😰
2:56 "dig for worms in the dirt"
I died.
join the club XD
Ahh...that's were I've been going wrong. I blame Attenborough.
Well if she is an Oligochaeteologist that date might go well. You just better know your earth worms.
@@seannot-telling9806 She'd probably get enough of that at work.
If she were an early bird however..
My brother took his girl with spiky heels directly to mountain hiking.
As a chinese, I'd say going through personal stuff when being invited in a friend's home is simply a result of bad education, very irresponsible parenting from their family, same as the old videos about the spoiled little emperors（熊孩子）, this is just the spoiled brat grown up. It's so prevailing that seems like a "Chinese culture", which is such an unfortunate reality, because good manner and courtesy are supposed to be very important in our tradition...
HT Am Chinese and completely agree. What they described in the video is simply bad manner and disrespect for privacy which shouldn't be viewed as normality.
@@WLee-jb3oi I agree. I'm from Taiwan, so a Chinese. People in Taiwan don't flip through the host's items and drawers like that. We do ask questions about photos though. So what's described in the video is not Chinese culture, it's upbringing.
Dude, you don't call that "bad education". It's "bad upbringing".
HT well said
Ive had 2 Chinese exs in China neither of then did that. Though they both got mad if u didn't let them do my laundry and the second one would even start a fight with me in public if i didn't Let her carry everything. She was a very traditional girl from huebei though. She wouldn't do anything without asking for my permission first including when her friend said she is going to kill herself she asked me for permission to go see her friend to help her. If even 2 min late to get home buy be food to make it up to me. When cook at home cook only certain amount then wait till i was finished then she would eat if any left over. Cutting my nails and so on kneel down on the floor at my feet and wait tilm I was done. I've had many many gf mostly do to being scammed but my 3 chinese exs i can remember their names extremely easily. First suehui hope i spelled that correct. Second faunshin i know i spelled that wrong. Then 3rd jasmine. Last thing I'll say is i dont know why but when im with a chinese girl i feel like im on top of the universe. I miss that feeling. But trying to date a chinese girl outside of china is not easy.
One thing I would say is that when you recognize those cultural expectations then you can decide to either conform to them or overcome them, and good communication is key to doing that. If you don't know that a problem is being caused by differing cultural expectations then I think that is when things can go wrong.
I did my Master's degree in China and lived there for two years. I didn't know the language also my goal was to study Chinese there, and in the end, it was so bad for me that I developed a panic attack. It was an international campus, so I had to deal with several cultural differences, I named it Multicultural Shock. Watching your videos really helps me process thing that happened with me, although sometimes it's painful to watch some of the discussions. It's really a kind of therapy for me. I just wanted to say thank you for doing this.
This is a brilliant video from two experienced, honest men. Thank you Winston and C Milk.
I met my wife who is a Vietnamese immigrant living with her family here in San Jose California, And pretty much all your advice was still exactly true. Most surprising to me was the amount of resistance from some younger Vietnamese Guys and girls in the community. I got told I had “yellow fever” & “jungle fever” a few times; also the “why are you taking a girl from our community”. It was actually reversed, b/c I did learn to speak Vietnamese and we live in a mostly Asian neighborhood. That was 20 years ago, so the acceptance in the community is much better nowadays,
I like watching your videos late at night, and they're very enjoyable, until suddenly "I REEEEEEEMEMBER YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" blasts into my ears at 150db. I really wish the intro/outro music volume was equal to the volume of the rest of the video. Often times you have to turn the volume up to hear what you guys are saying, only to be sent into sound induced heart failure at the end of a video.
I just sing along with it, then spend the next few minutes blotting the blood from my ears.
True
Good recall.
Lmfao so true
It’s exuberant and needs to be loud.
My wife introduced me to her parents after a couple of months of dating. I think the fact that she was early 30s and was probably getting a lot of pressure from her parents had something to do with it.
Surprised you didn't mention the bipolar thing.
A lot of guys here in China say Chinese girls randomly switch from sweet, happy, caring to angry, shouty, violent.
Tafadzwa Kay I know what you're talking about man. I love my girl and we've been together for almost 2 years but I've experienced so many of these flip-outs so far that it's starting to heavily wear on me. Even though I met her parents at this point I know we don't have a future together. It breaks my heart but yeah, it's true and it's a problem the thing you're talking about.
The bipolar thing is primarily they don't know what they want and they don't know how to communicate it. And they got too influenced by others' opinions. In the west, people start dating since teenage or even younger, not in China. Many people would not get into romantic relationships till they are almost or way pass 20 years old. They are not allowed to think of such things. When they fall in love, they don't know how to behave and communicate their feelings, not do they know how to balance various relationship conflicts and pressures, thus the bipolar behaviour.
Thought I was the only one haha ADV need to cover this
A few do it, but that is relatively rare. Chinese girls are overall less crazy than others.
@@777jones possibly but most foreigners here in China have mentioned it.
I can totally relate to what you just told. I had a chinese girlfriend and she hinted so much about marriage, and even showed me her mother via skype calls at time. We had only been together for some weeks but she was really into me. I supposed she thought about serious things but not completely as we had known for such a littl duration, ans I was really not into getting serious. I ended up breaking up with her because I knew it would happen. I hope I had seen this video back then to get my understanding clearer, I would have hurt her less...
I've reached an age in my life where I've no interest at all in dating women. Never been happier .
Have you guys youtubed RDS yet? Ive met a bunch
@Yash Yadav my bad. RSD. Like seriously. loads of great girls.
@Yash Yadav he is the leader. watch all the videos. Also todd valentine. or alex social. whats your definition of a perfect girl? as in like a virgin?
@Yash Yadav there are good ones out there, but theyre rare, and hey, we all need some fucking therapy tbh. I got an amazingly emotionally mature girlfriend with huge boobs, we like the same things, learned how to take care of ourselves so that we were well enough to take care of each other, it's great.
they're out there, you just have to filter out the shit ones, dont latch onto someone just because they came into your life, but also know if someone's awesome deep down, but needs to work on themselves (and you too).
it does require some luck, but its not impossible
@Yash Yadav I 100% agree with you. I hated how in school and college, the guys and girls so easily gave up on finding the one and just banging and cheating on each other like there's no tomorrow.
To me, "used goods" are a bad sign of infidelity and impatience. The reward of marriage was knowing that you and your spouse would spend the rest of your lives together experiencing the good and bad, indulging in each other, and raising children. But the culture has changed for the worse and I can't stand it. Luckily, this cultural leftist infection is a lot less prevalent in Eastern Europe, some of South America, and many places in Asia. I wish you the best!
In Mexico if men don't pay for the date then they're not seen as very masculine.
Just be yourself. Be confident. Be a gentleman. If you are a foreigner you want to attract a Chinese female who desires your type. So do yourself as best as you can. I have been married to a native Chinese woman for 10 years.
You are absolutely right. Be gentleman, confident, and respect.
well said guys, your favourite topic I know. I've been married to my Chinese wife for nearly 5 years now and can echo every sentiment you made.
We are totally happy and her parents are supportive (which considering its Hunan is rare) but.... like you guys I'd been to china many times and (not based on race) got lucky to meet the woman I loved. Well done as always and thanks for including the hot Beijing scammer into the edit ;-)
Are you guys still wearing your wet leather jackets indoors for some sort of role play afterwards?
Best way to dry out a biker's leather....unless a warm mannequin is available...
don't want it to shrink oddly
T-Birds from grease
skylinec83
Commander Shepherd role play.
@Knights of the Nine, I think they look way more like ffxv character jackets than mass effect clothing.
Stupid comment warning: Over the last few videos of watching you guys(esp Serpentza, no hate CMilk, just found him first), Just realized your Mass Effect (original trilogy) N7 mark on your jacket. Def earned my Sub x2.
Just noticed that N7 Mass Effect collar. I approve!
I dated a girl from Hong Kong a number of years ago, and this is shining SOOOOOO much light on our dynamics at the time!
Thank you for the advice... all are so true but jealousy in some Asian girls is so true... they will give you so much trust and when you break them it’s gonna be so hard to bring it back to normal....
I just found this channel with this video and it's pretty spot on. I guess you can say I actually did try to chase for an Asian wife, but I genuinely had an interest in someone that was a little more traditional than the people around me. Seeing as how we were in lockdown this whole time, I searched online and eventually found a Chinese woman who has been an amazing part of my life. We talk every day, and while we have our differences, we work past them and come to an understanding. We have met each other's friends and family over video calls and have invested much time into our relationship. The only bad part is that we're still waiting for China to drop their travel restrictions.
Anyway, you got my subscription and I look forward to browsing your channel.
And never forget that for many Chinese women, it's assumed their parents will be moving in at some point. Enjoy!
Most Chinese parents still think moving into son-in-law's house is shameful. A family with good manner will never do it.
If the woman cannot have clear idea about how to deal with her own family before marriage, one should not marry her.
You may find that is the way for many women. Even ones who live in the u.S. Oh honey did I tell you my mother will be living with us for awhile?
Depends on the girl's own family economic condition. My grandma never lived with my father and my mother. They thought young people should have their own privacy and life. The generation gap couldn't be avoided if live together. I won't live with my papa/mom or my future husband's together. But don't mind to take care of them once they are getting old. Ppl can choose live close to each other.
This opinion is so out of date... Honestly I don’t think any educated Chinese women would think in that way. That’s too Ridiculous
Well. In all tradicional cultures u have it. I have pakistani friend that said that the family stays together even after marry. Ofc not always but is interesting. I think that asian traditions are family oriented in a way that westeners cant understand. If your parents in law have no one to take care of them besides your wife i see not problem IF they respect your house and rules and u manage the situation.
Thanks for the tips.
Plus, I like how you two work together to give your individual perspectives.
Not all Chinese girls mistrust. My wife trusts me! She doesn't check my phone. But then I am not the sort of person who cheats. And I met my wife's family within a few months of our first meeting.
Nah. My phone is with me 24/7
t md - she prob had some sort of spy app or checks with the phone company :))
Tbh if she is faithful and loving she can keep my phone 24/7 I ask for nothing more lmao
Bro, this is definitely sound. Since I’ve been in Shenzhen, a lot of these points are spot on. I remember living in another city and I was dating a girl just Early dating and she took me to her parents place and I was confused because we had just met. Needless to say that didn’t work out but I’ll say Shenzhen has definitely opened my mind to dating Chinese women and really just women in general
I have been married to a woman from northern China for 21 years. The marriage is great! But I really agreed with your advice! One thing that may make the cultural gap narrower is a woman who has a college education or, the gold standard, has studied in the US or any western country. Thanks guys - your channel is great.
What are your opinions on bring an asian or chinese girl back to your native country. Do you think it best to stay there, or bring them home?
Many have said lots of asian girls can't adjust to American culture, especially suburban / rural culture which is very individualistic and disconnected.
Many in America work from home, and only get out once or twice a week to shop, and maybe one other time to go to a restaurant or something. Asian's often seem to like to be far more social.
I have been maried to a Filipina now for over 4 years.. i was bored so i started exploring utube and ran across this video.. it is so amazing how much the 2 countries are similar.. everything you discussed i have faced with my wife... I will say this once you have won there hearts you have a very wonderful and carring woman for the rest of your life. as long as you give them the respect and time they require..
Your point about Chinese people being blunt is 100% accurate. Visiting my relatives back in China , some of the first things asked after the initial greetings were “how much do you weigh”, “are you dating”, “how much do you make”. One of my cousins even straight up told me that they think black people and Indians are dirty . I was so shocked but just went along with it b/c I knew it’s just the way it is in China .
David Brown - most of those white women vote for the government (federal and local) that doesn't keep thugs in line.
@@p51mustang24 k
Another FANTASTIC video guys!! Fairly bristling with sage advice regarding this very important topic. Four years ago on Christmas Eve by sheer randomness I met a Filipina who has rocked my world in a wonderful way after my first marriage that had grown toxic. So much of what you said rings true in the connection I've experienced as a Westerner connected to a sweet and genuine and in many ways simple, (in a very sweet way) Asian woman. I wasn't trying to find this woman it just happened. And I completely get the attraction. And because of the valid concerns you discuss in your video, we have moved very slowly. It is a blast for both of us. We are in love at least our understanding of it. Nobody tried matchmaking us, or putting us in a blind date sort of thing we did this online connection on our own. Now with that said she found me through her sister's husband who works with a guy I went to high school with. So only two degrees of separation. Even with all the physical distance. Your advice rings true! Thank you for sharing! Phenomenal advice guys!!
"How many girls have you been with?"
"One at a time..."
Great video... maybe my favorite one with the two of you. Studying Chinese now due to teaching English to Chinese children. Dated and loved a Japanese woman for several years, so some kind of renewed interest is occurring. But not really doing anything but studying the language. I like the idea of it just happening. Thanks guys !
Nice video C-Milk and SepentZA as always nice to get your input on topics dealing with China 👍 Keep Laowinning and Stay Awesome
I have to agree 100% with the jealousy. I used to get so angry that she never seemed to trust me. I felt so insulted and she accused me of cheating on me, checked my phone all the time, she even called the numbers she didn't recognise. I even remember giving her my phone because hers was broken. I texted her from my work phone saying I missed her. Months later she was going through my messages and she found my message to her and she was so upset, she was hyperventilating and crying. I had nearly forgotten I had sent it and I was racing in my mind trying to think how that message got there. I must say, she is a lot better now, 5 years later.
You lasted 5 years of hyper jealousy? Strong man!
Yeah wasn't constant, just when she was feeling vulnerable. Noticably around that time, if you get my drift.
My two unexpected take aways from this video is the invasive inspection of your home and goods, and the idea of public punishment/shaming of an errant man. The physical striking was a big surprise. It made me wonder how much domestic abuse happens in China.
😂I'm dating a chinese girl right now and well.... I dunno.
Our first date, we just met with no plan at all and improvised, she just payed for all of her stuff herself without any hesitation or expectation.
But well, she was pretty direct, so were I and she appreciated it and told me so. We agreed on a second date and she even texted me that she likes me and really could imagine us to be more than friends.
She didn't care about how much money I make but she asked a lot of questions about my job in general and was pretty interested in my work in particular^^
But well, she is obviously not dating for fun and tbh that's a big plus for me. I don't want a one time fling and never did.
But well, lets see how it goes😂
Just finished watching conquering Northern china and then you guy release this , best day ever !
I am married to a Chinese Indonesian, and your guys' advice is top notch.
Tip number 1
Don't
(I've been with 3, i know what I'm talking about 😂)
why
BAHHABAHAHA
So interesting as an American female subscriber! American men never talk about these things, it's quite refreshing and educational!
~Cat from NY 🐱🍎💜👍🏻
Can't speak for China, but in Korea the best advice is to marry an orphan so you don't have to deal with the family :D
Question - are Taiwan girls less clingy.. I sure seemed like to me?
Nice advice bro.
Thank you both for all your many videos, sharing your experiences & recommendations. GODspeed!
I feel that Chinese girls are always on the look out for something better, even if they’re married.
Only when you are not good enough. I know plenty Chinese girls who are still married to their first husband.
Chinese girls??....How about ALL girls....and American women are FAR worse!!
yea all girls are hypergamous
This is probably just the girls that go out with you.
Mike theJedi Truth
While there are cultural differences to deal with when dating Filipinas, there is not the same stigma for them getting involved with a "foreigner". Most families in The Philippines have relatives or acquaintances that are married to foreigners. My former fiancee was from a smaller city (third class/pop. 130K+) on Mindanao, but it is a provincial capital and has daily flights to Manila and Cebu. It was not unusual to run into other Americans on the street, or in any hotel.
Since English is one of the country's two official languages, and college and higher are taught exclusively in English, there really wasn't much of a language problem. Likewise, many signs and menus in The Philippines emphasize English. That is not to say that the average Filipina speaks perfect American English, but most are fairly proficient.
In many ways, The Philippines is the most American friendly country in SE Asia, as might be expected from its history.
I tried to make a relationship work with a very mistrusting Chinese girl, and it melted down in short order. Every single time we had an innocent misunderstanding or even slight disagreement, she turned it into a reason to doubt everything about our relationship. It was impossible to be secure and thus impossible to feel secure, which meant I lost interest every single day. On top of that, if there was ever a time I knew for a fact she was wrong about something, she would brush it off as me not understanding Chinese culture or something along those lines, even if I knew for a fact that she disagreed not just with me but also with Chinese culture to boot.
It's just my personal anecdote, but I think there are enough collective anecdotes of this sort to constitute statistical evidence. Lack of trust and quickness to make accusations will kill a relationship.
Why did you not use that shit to get some good sex dude. My chick is Asian. Not chinese but she gets this jealous trip and tries to get all controling on me. I just flip that shit on her and get my nut then laugh becuse its all some good dtama. Better than 📺 bro.
I like your videos. I think it's cool how you two are from different worlds and are now friends. Keep up the good work.
I couldn't date a Chinese woman bc she would want to get married. Marriage is not for me.
Wow, thanks for talking about this! This just explains it all lol. I’ve been watching your channel for 20hrs straight lol. Thanks for the info
Man, you guys are like brothers
Great advice. I live in Australia and have started dating a chinese woman. Most of what you have said applies. 1st date : coffee. 2nd date: a long walk. 3rd date restaurant lunch. Love and marriage are starting to entwine themselves into her conversation. Which is hard because her English requires us to use a phone translator. !!! Most people wouldn't give this scenario 5 minutes of their time but I find her so feminine, refined and warm it's hard to stop myself from banging my head on a brick wall. It's like she is luring me into her world. And that world doesn't seem bad at all. Great and helpful video guys. Thank you.
Are Southern girls different? I've spent 2 years in Beijing and am now in Harbin and girls up here are different from how you guys describe them. They often demand on paying for (not splitting) restaurant bills, they don't really seem to enjoy being doted on, and I don't get the vibe that they're all looking for marriage and have met plenty of younger women (not from clubs) that are interested in more casual relationships.
My experience is that north eastern Chinese women are different.
ofcourse girls from each region is quite different. Northeastern girls will fit into their respective stereotypical cultural archetype of being blunt, forward coming, dominant... shanghainese girls will be more casual, chongqing girls will be harsh, evil plotting and full of secret agendas, while southern girls are much more gentle and looking to settle
yes there is difference between north and south
I met my girlfriend on FB 5 years ago, and yes, even when only known by skype and texting, we consider us as a couple already. She is from Taiwan, but even when being more influenced by western culture, and even if her attitude and talking is more comparable to what I know from western people, there is still a huge difference between our cultures. I am also aware that there are also a lot of chinese stereotypes in Taiwan, so, I am curious and excited to find out how she is in reality :) . I am going to see her this december. Do you have any last advices for me?
I have never made a video before, but I would like to start with documenting this at least a little bit, for the first as a sort of tribute to you, and secondly because I think you guys to a good job with teaching others how much richer your life quality gets, only by KNOWING about other cultures, experiencing how awesome this colorful planet is, and thirdly teaching them, that no matter how different we are, that we are still the same dull people on this blue planet, revolving around the milkyway.
I enjoy demolition derbies!
Have you watched "Harold and Maude"? They have a date (somewhat) at a demolition derby. My fav movie btw.
We all do it's a decent way to spend ur free time
I can relate to what you guys are saying in this video, family influence can really make or break a relationship. Even over here in North America, there are lots of Chinese families that hang on to these traditions. In many old Chinese communities like San Francisco, Chicago, and Lower Manhattan these etiquettes are still in practice.
like the "ADVice" in the beginning
My head is resonating so loudly with everything you said, I don't know where to begin. I've been married almost 19 years to a Vietnamese/Chinese woman, and it seems I've experienced damn near everything you guys covered in this video (and a few other vids on Chinese girls; I'm a relatively new subscriber; I discovered you through our mutual friend Naomi Wu). After dating for 6 months, my then future wife made a de facto marriage proposal to me, which I subsequently formalized with a reciprocal proposal and a ring. We got married 6 months after that. I didn't meet her parents (in Los Angeles) until we were engaged, after she had already moved in with me. She was privately proud of me but rather fearful of what her parents might think of her dating a white guy, so I was a secret for quite awhile. Poor sense of color matching outfits? Yep. Random dress-up vs. dress down occasions? Yep. Friends invited to check me out? Yep. Family & friends asking how much money I make, when we're getting married, when we're going to have kids? Yep. Yep. Yep. I could go on and on and on, but you know the drill. Glad to know I have some well-spoken friends in the "Asian Wife Club", as I like to call it. Luckily, there seems to be enough of us to form a healthy support network. 😉 Thanks for sharing and helping so many guys navigate this rugged territory! And for those who ignore your advice? I pity their tortured souls.
I can relate to all of that. However my wife is somewhat different. We had been dating just for a couple of weeks when we ended up eating takeaway bbq in our undies at my place. That's when she realized I'm not in to that pretty girlygirly stuff and she started being herself. Been a couple for over nine years, and married for seven.
If I have a sniffle she say she will take time off work and care for me. I almost have to start a fight to tell her that it's just a sniffle, I can handle myself
The video is more than a year old, but as a white American woman, married to a Chinese man, I can totally relate on some things. We got married fairly quickly, but we are both older, and almost immediately clicked and knew this is what we wanted from the beginning. There were no games, it was all very straight forward. He'd been married previously, so introducing me to his family has been a bit of an uphill battle, but he's not very involved with them to begin with. I think if they were in his life more, we probably would have had to wait to get married, or maybe not even gotten to that point, because of what his mother thinks of foreigners.
I've only been following you guys (ADVChina and Serpentza) for a few months, but it's given me a lot of insight to living here. i've been here for the past two years, and it's just kind of nice to see other people experiencing similar things. Anyway, I don't want to ramble. Just adding to the number of AM/WF couples that are so rarely seen here.
#1 rule to every women in the world: Money!
Such an untrue stereotype. No one ever talks about how many deadbeat, golddigging "men" are out there. And all the men who brag about having a rich wife/girlfriend.
I met my Chinese wife in USA. She already had a green card when we met. We were good friends for a while. She didn't show intimate attitudes for me until both her parents died. After that she said we had to get married. I said why not so we did. 18 years of marriage and still OK. Honestly have to say that is it near impossible to to find a equally good wife in the USA.
"I brought you soup please respond"
You guys have great chemistry. Great video and thanks for sharing.
You guy's videos are awesome! I'm dating a Chinese girl I met in America. I'm going to be visiting her parents soon in China. I feel like your videos have me prepared for what I'm getting into.
Good luck dude, Ask her how many of her relatives both will visit and prepare the red envelopes in dollars preferable.
@Brandon Autrey I'm in the same situation! good luck.
Good luck and be patient. Please remember many offenses are due to different cultures and customs.
oh Jesus dude, get out of there
@@Hali88 🤣
Great video guys, keep em coming, I want to learn more about asian girls.
Any advice for someone who fell hard in love with a Chinese girl who was studying in Canada. She broke up with me, probably because I didn't realize everything I was missing without realizing it. She said I had low emotional intelligence, actually she was really mean compared to girls I've dated in the past. While that relationship didn't work I'm very stubborn and she changed my life. So I'm holding out hope that there's another Chinese girl out there that's a better match for me and hopefully I'm a better match for her. I've started learning mandarin and I've been watching alot of your videos. Also I should add that she was only dating me because she was jealous of her girlfriend's boyfriend and because I have blonde hair. Now I wasn't the greatest at the relationship either I was pretty clingy to be honest.
Watching this from a Taiwanese perspective. Most of it is still very true and applies there, and even among Chinese-Americans with first generation parents. The more they speak their native languages with their family, the more this dating advice would apply.
There's another tidbit that I wanted to share, but being rich and/or educated INCREASES your chances at staying with the girl, as this ties in VERY closely with introducing you to her family. After all, if you got nothing of value to show off, her family won't be happy, and they may pressure her enough to end the relationship by asking questions nonstop. It's very depressingly shallow, but you'll have to be prepared for that. And of course, always look your best, including understanding manners and all that stuff.
I think the main difference inbetween Taiwanese vs mainlander Chinese is that the Taiwanese actually don't mind foreigners ESPECIALLY if they're white, or of paler skin colors. It's really racist, but a commonly accepted belief especially among older people. Don't let that stop you from chasing the love of your life though :)
What an Alfa male knows, that most men don’t Is
:
1- Be the master of your territory
2- Be a good listener
3-tell her how you feel w/o explanation..
4- Give it your best effort
5- Cooperate w/o compromising your terms
6- weekly, Find new and innovative ways to make her feel good
Be the kind of man your women would have an affair with
don’t be emotional about your feelings
don’t tell her how you feel until at least 24 hrs after you have them
A task is not what we intend to have-- it is what we are meant to have
Important -- women don’t want another women in their relationship - they want a hard , masculine man they can count on -
And masculine doesn't mean - ignoring her, hurting her physically and emotionally , etc etc.
Lessons for men are a must to recognize , needy, clingy, jealous, problematic situations that are regular and quickly arise -- and this is before marriage -
Pay particular attention to family situations mostly her relationship with her farther and men - if you see her bitching about other men - then it is only time before you become her next target -run now - no matter how hot she is --
Women asking personal things quickly in a relationship -- may not be what matt and Winston think is a problem - yes it is annoying -- but a womens intention is sizing a man up as best suiter for her life
and if she loves you -- ( this is for all women) - they will test you daily sometimes several times a day with an integrity test -- they WILL give you an unconscious pass or fail grades ( example : hey darling check out that women over there - it is OK to be truthful - Don’t you think she is very beautiful?) choose your next answer wisely - ( meaning = don’t ever tell her the truth - this is not bad and not lying- women are smart very smart -- they know the truth -- they are mostly in low self esteem and want you to bull shit them -- and say ( no- no I do not think she is nice at all -- you my love are really much hotter )
This is the start -- and most men do not know the real life , masculine rules of engagement -for successful lifetime committed relationships -
We as men are not good at relationships -- but just knowing, what rules a woman's emotions is a sure fire start -
Good luck men -- we all need it -- ( luck- where preparation meets opportunity)
think about this -hard
I have touched only the surface of a mile long journey -- yes it is tough - but women need and deserve better masculine men and so does society -- be that man that stands out and let others wonder why you are a leader
--
if you know the rules -of emotional engagement then - any women - anywhere - anytime --will not be a problem -- just be a great man --
Hi! Thk u for u advices & the effort for writing them down, thus sharing with all of us. Girls & Women are wonderful and fascinating human beings, most needed & essential to our mental sanity & well-being, be them as Daughter, Mother or Wife. Remember this & now on, more Respect to them all. Regards! Jpier.
Really love your videos! As for this topic you hit on the #1 problem dating a Chinese girl.... jealousy! I was in a wonderful relationship with a woman I really loved. Things were awesome. We were hand in glove... but one morning I woke up and caught her going through my photos on iPad. I was at first upset that she had my password but more so when I found out she was deleting any and all photos of other women I have met as friends or casually dated in the previous few years here in China. Now you would figure I would be very upset but my anger was nothing compared to the typhoon heading my way. I was called everything in the book, slapped and punched. Etc. I packed my stuff and never looked back. What a very sad ending to what was a really wonderful relationship. Keep up the good work and by the way you saved my ass on my first trip to Beijing with the bar girl scam. Thank you so much! 👍
That's awesome to you avoided the bar girl scam! Sorry to hear about the all too common delete your photos scenario!
Tell her you need to move because your Buffalo is sick.
very nice video again
watching from Philippines now :)
Sharlene Mae Narzo Philippines is a beautiful country 😉
You Pinos are like tha too. But that is why I love mine.
My wife is from Wuhan. Your advice is spot on, especially with "meeting the parents". It's much different here in the west than in China, where it pretty much means "we're getting married". You're spot on about taking care of you - my wife is constantly babying me. No complaints though since I know that it's because she genuinely cares about me.
Did she work for any laboratories?
@@raddaradda3996 :-)))) you ended him after 3 years
Aloha guys! Good insight on Chinese women.
I'm currently married to a first generation Panamanian Chinese women. Some of what you said applied to her but thankfully not the jealousy issue. I was the secret for many years before meeting her family, so I totally understand where you are coming from in that regard.
Here's the reason why bfs especially foreign bfs are kept top secret. When a guy dates a girl (here in China) she most tell him if she ia a virgin or not or about previous bfs. Her 'friends' and family will tell the bf about her previous bfs. Now if she ever dated a foreigner, the Chinese guy will immediately dump her. There are varied racist reasons
Yeah it's the same for me, a white guy, if a girl i'm with ever dated a black guy I won't have a serious relationship with her, just treat her as a fuck buddy. If she was with an Asian guy before... mmm kind of weird but not as big a deal compared to dating a black guy.
@@@Kotiara123
You're sounding pretty insecure right now (redflag levels of insecurity).
You know that there are also white/asian guys that are packing bunkers busters and black guys who aren't.
However in regards to your insecurity, the question to ask your woman/yourself - if these past guys are so great, where are they now?
There is nothing more unattractive in either men or women then insecurity. That shit kills a relationship fast.
in general, Chinese women are rather small down there. The older ones (40-60) were sometimes trained to "squeeze" which is a specialty not known in the West. I found this in a relationship with a Chinese-American woman who was more old-fashioned than her sisters living in China.
Most guys are wary of girls who have dated black guys. In part because that's just a bad decision, but also because the risk of STD's goes through the roof if she has ever fucked a black,.
@@Mark-ft8yx Great comment!
Also, just to add something to the mix. I dated an British born Indian girl who told me she'd dated a black guy, she revealed that he had the smallest penis she'd seen.
Great video guys. You are bang on right with all points. I have been here for 8 years now, and the wifey be a local. Bozhou, capital of Chinese medicine. Been following you guys for a while. Great stuff. Make a vid in Bozhou! Stay awesome!
Of course you have to pay for her meal. And her cousin's meal and her friend's meal and her friend's cousin's meal...
Well, this is culture difference. For instance, in American, most ppl have to make their own living when they are in college and have student loan since then. In China, most ppl will get financial support from their parents. In China, financial responsibility is a good trait or one of the core value for a man in a family. (I am not talking about those over greedy women). Is that means Chinese is more childish or immature? probably for some of them. For me and my friends around me, we will work hard to let our children live better and support them the same way as our families did for us. That is why we have a stronger family tie than western counties. In America, they need to pay almost everything for themselves, and that is why their culture is paying for yourself.
This is funny about them wanting to get into your personal business. Many years ago, I dated a girl from Hong-Kong here in the US. She wasn't that extreme, though her friends were nosey...haha! We all had fun as I was withholding information from them. I just started seeing a lovely woman from mainland China, also here in the US., and she's already popping those personal questions. 🙂 She's been a good sport about my withholding information, though boy, is she persistent. From my limited experience, I will say their persistence and assertiveness is very refreshing. I can't think of another culture where the women demonstrate these characteristics yet maintain such femininity at the same time
lol those two guys just standing there taking full wind up slaps to the face :D
Met my chinese wife online years ago on a chat program while she was still in college. We talked online off an on for a year, then talked online more often, leading to me calling on the phone, twice a day (This was before I knew of phone cards back in 2002) We never dated in person. Flew over and met her family and let them know we were getting married. A year later, she flew over and we were married 3 months later...Still happily married after 13 years.
Thanks Guys ... I recently married a beautiful Chinese woman ... even with the cultural and language challenges, my best decision ever ...