Hello. I'm 1.5 years into Schema Therapy. Your video is a good descriptor of what it's like. I am learning to be nicer to myself. It does require perseverance, but I'm beginning to like myself. Faults and all. I enjoyed your video.
Dear Dr. O’Garr, I’m a therapist in the USA, and am reviewing this schema playlist again so I can best use your workbook with a patient. I’m sending the playlist to that patient as well. It’s such a great resource, and the materials are exceptional! Thank you for posting these, and for all your obvious hard work in making such materials available to us! Regards, Jeff Thompson, PhD, Yakima, WA, USA.
The descriptions of detaching as a way to avoid difficult vulnerability was really helpful. Yes it feels very automatic and 'reflexive' to the point where it's very hard to catch. Thank you for an introduction to this work, I already feel a slight space to work with.
I had to come to a lot of these realizations only after years of self-reflection and transformation. This really is at the forefront of known psychoanalysis. I applaud your efforts! Much love, Corey.
How many people know those words "If you don't stop crying I will give you something to cry about" How much better a place could the world be if no one has experienced of those words. It was a good video.
When I express my sadness or that I'm not okay my husband says that I have no right to feel like that... And I'm back to my younger self to all of those traumas. He's right, I'm an adult and I should understand by now that not everyone is born to flourish just to serve. I just need to learn how to accept it.
When "speaking" to that vulnerable part of myself I usually speak in first person plural (we/us) because it helps to maintain awareness of both the vulnerable child and healthy adult both cognitively and physically. I can think about the vulnerable emotion while also feeling it physically while also having compassionate thoughts and feeling physically soothed. It is a more integrating experience; however, I wonder if it's strange because I am one person. Is it strange?
I use "we" as well. It's validating all those parts of myself with one word, giving them a voice and also, like you say, it's integrative. I think it's a really positive thing
I have feelings about the part where you say we can't expect others to meet our needs now that we're an adult. My mom passed away when I was 8 and she came from a very large family of siblings and I felt abandoned by them then when I needed them most but also they show very little effort to be a part of my life today. My dad remarried a narcissist who has completely driven a wedge between us, he is trauma bonded to her and has completely changed to a man I no longer recognize. So I have essentially lost both parents and feel very vulnerable and abandoned. It feels very triggering and extremely unfair to say that I don't expect some sort of compensation from these aunts and uncles. I do expect them to care about me in my life and to care about being a part of it, and I expect them to show more effort since I am without parents, then they would otherwise. We are told to seek out other relationships to meet the needs that would normally be met from our parents. So I do feel that these statements can be contradictory. Could you please share your thoughts on this?
Another great video, thank you. In your description, you hashtag BPD; does that mean that people who've had pretty insufficient childhoods will likely have BPD, or at least manifest many of the symptoms in their thinking and feeling patterns..?
Found a very interesting video. It's on NICABM UA-cam channel with Dr. Janina Fisher. She descibes how feelings of worthlessness is a survival mechanism. Video is called "Trauma and Unworthiness". I think it's a very insightful perspective.
Com base no que vi e li da teoria dos esquemas acredito finalmente ter descoberto o motivo de eu sempre ficar em total panico quando me deparo com agulhas e sangue e coisas que remetam a isso. Enquanto criança eu nao me senti segura e protegida quando me encontrava em situaçoes assim e tentando ser forte ignorei a minha necessidade de ser vulneravel e acolhida e acarinhada. Eu ignorei o lazer e busquei desempenho por meio de estudos e atividades que me testassem a fim de me sentir capaz e protegida por mim mesma. Sinto que alguns comportamentos desadaptativos envolvendo namoros e minha alimentaçao vem disso e a melancolia com que me deparo a cerca de 8 anos pode ter sido desencadeada la atras e so entao entrei em contato e nao sabendo lidar com isso pela necessidade de ser cada vez mais dura comigo mesma e ser "forte" eu quebrei. Hoje tento me adaptar ao fato de que sou adulta , semi independente pois logo vou me formar na pos graduaçao e começar a trabalhar , tenho amor e posso me defender , uma agulha para uma criança pode ser um monstro mas enquanto adulta posso readaptar minha mente para pensar " Eu quero e posso mudar,posso passar por esse exame de sangue ou doaçao de sangue e ficar bem , sao so umas furadas, eu ja operei vesicula e fiquei bem , quem encara cortes encara furos e coisas do tipo". Eu nao preciso ser compulsiva por comida ou por intimidade fisica com outras pessoas , nao preciso ser uma nerd apenas estudar , eu nao preciso ja ter o melhor emprego do mundo de cara apenas um emprego que pague as contas pra começar , eu posso ser grata por tudo de bom que tenho na minha vida e lidar com as emoçoes e momentos nao tao legais. Eu posso abraçar a minha criança vulneravel da mesma forma que eu desejava ser abraçada quando tinha aquela idade e dizer "Voce nao precisa ser a filha perfeita , a aluna ideal , a forte que nunca chora , voce pode sentir e mostrar , lidar com isso de modo a aprender com isso...".
This is not always the case. I loved my child very much and i tried very hard to comfort him and teach him to regulate. He always had problems regulating and would push me away from every early age and often hit me.
Great videos. Do you have ressources on actual interventions like imagery rescription? I figured I know much about schema theray in theory but I didn´t do the actual work yet.
Hi Jess, when we reparent ourselves, I imagine that it would be ideal to be in an environment that doesn't keep triggering our schemas? So if we try to remove ourselves from that situation, is that Healthy Adult doing the right thing, or is that maladaptive coping? i.e. flight..
I'm becoming less skeptical about these videos. The biophysical explanations for the strategies to understand how we can be more understanding an work through some thinks that are stuck
Maybe it's Freudian but anyone else really want her to be your mother? I feel like I'd be the most well-adjusted person on earth if she was my parent. I'll make do with learning from her how to reparent myself.
I’ve started a major to do list to keep me busy so I can detach from the upcoming pain of my grandkids moving to another state. I don’t possess self compassion. I just want to die but I keep waking up
Self compassion is hard. Self compassion is crucial. Imagine a friend in your situation. What would you say to them? Would you judge them harshly? A helpful exercise is to write to yourself as though you were writing to your friend in your predicament. The malevolent may not deserve compassion, but everyone else does.
I see a lot of issues with schema therapy...first of all the very judgemental nomenclature assigned to the different states of mind (healthy adult...really? it could not be more judgmental than that). Second, I think there is a big lie within this model, and it lies in the mantra: you must take care of the vulnerable child who is the focal point of yourself...tbh, one should take care of something that has something good to give back in return, but this is not the case for vulnerable child mood..indeed, this mood is the worst part of anybody, it is like cancer...the lies is that schema therapy does not admit that the vulnerable child is a disease, a disease that one can not recover from...I am open to discussion: please tell me if I am wrong by answering the question: how is the vulnerable child a good thing to nurture?
Hello. I'm 1.5 years into Schema Therapy. Your video is a good descriptor of what it's like. I am learning to be nicer to myself. It does require perseverance, but I'm beginning to like myself. Faults and all. I enjoyed your video.
Acknowledging, sitting with, persevering.
Rinse, and repeat. ❤it. So grateful.
This is the best explanation and guide to working with schema's I've come across in 15 years.
Thank you
Dear Dr. O’Garr, I’m a therapist in the USA, and am reviewing this schema playlist again so I can best use your workbook with a patient. I’m sending the playlist to that patient as well. It’s such a great resource, and the materials are exceptional! Thank you for posting these, and for all your obvious hard work in making such materials available to us! Regards, Jeff Thompson, PhD, Yakima, WA, USA.
You’re welcome. We’ve got a schema treatment pathway book in the works too so keep any eye out for that one
@@thePSYCHcollective That was actually my next question! I’ll look forward to the book with great excitement!
The descriptions of detaching as a way to avoid difficult vulnerability was really helpful. Yes it feels very automatic and 'reflexive' to the point where it's very hard to catch. Thank you for an introduction to this work, I already feel a slight space to work with.
The sensations in my body are ginormous. I can’t imagine a child feeling this way. It’s a lot of struggle. .
I had to come to a lot of these realizations only after years of self-reflection and transformation. This really is at the forefront of known psychoanalysis. I applaud your efforts! Much love, Corey.
Ran across this .
ACA 12 step program
Outlines many of the same concepts !! adult children of alcoholics. It’s a fabulous program.
I just started ACA a month ago. Really profound moments already. Excited to start the program with a sponsor
''ULTIMATELY ITS ABOUT YOU LEARNING TO BE NICER TOWARD YOURSELF''
How many people know those words "If you don't stop crying I will give you something to cry about"
How much better a place could the world be if no one has experienced of those words.
It was a good video.
Thank you so much for your generous contribution. Loving PSYCH collective!
You’re a great teacher Jess. Keep up the good work !
Thanks Rob. We’re looking forward to making some new videos soon.
Thank you for making this video, I learnt heaps
Thank you so much. So helpful. The inner child in me will absolutely benefit from this information 💞
Thank you so much for such a great introduction to this therapy. It is so real to me and you have really exposed the issue.
This channel is extremely good! Thanks a lot for your videos, you make everything sound so clear, so easy to understand. Lots of love❤️
I know that this Chanel Is so good; I don't understand all but, here am i.
When I express my sadness or that I'm not okay my husband says that I have no right to feel like that... And I'm back to my younger self to all of those traumas. He's right, I'm an adult and I should understand by now that not everyone is born to flourish just to serve. I just need to learn how to accept it.
When "speaking" to that vulnerable part of myself I usually speak in first person plural (we/us) because it helps to maintain awareness of both the vulnerable child and healthy adult both cognitively and physically. I can think about the vulnerable emotion while also feeling it physically while also having compassionate thoughts and feeling physically soothed. It is a more integrating experience; however, I wonder if it's strange because I am one person. Is it strange?
Nope.
This is a great idea and is exactly like internal family systems therapy. It helps you and that part separate, which regulates you better.
I use "we" as well. It's validating all those parts of myself with one word, giving them a voice and also, like you say, it's integrative. I think it's a really positive thing
Fantastic explanation
Really helpful - lightbulb moment, thank you x
You’re welcome
I have feelings about the part where you say we can't expect others to meet our needs now that we're an adult. My mom passed away when I was 8 and she came from a very large family of siblings and I felt abandoned by them then when I needed them most but also they show very little effort to be a part of my life today. My dad remarried a narcissist who has completely driven a wedge between us, he is trauma bonded to her and has completely changed to a man I no longer recognize. So I have essentially lost both parents and feel very vulnerable and abandoned. It feels very triggering and extremely unfair to say that I don't expect some sort of compensation from these aunts and uncles. I do expect them to care about me in my life and to care about being a part of it, and I expect them to show more effort since I am without parents, then they would otherwise. We are told to seek out other relationships to meet the needs that would normally be met from our parents. So I do feel that these statements can be contradictory. Could you please share your thoughts on this?
A very good vedio and good conceptualisation with clarity. Please continue making the vedios.
Thanks for your feedback. We’re planning to do some more next weekend.
Another great video. Thanks for these.
Excellent video! Very helpful. Thank you.
I know this is off topic but that's a beautiful dress.
I like how she dresses
Basically anything will look good on you if you look that good.
Amazing!!! Loved it. It's a lot of work to do.
Therapist kinda look like Taylor Swift ☺️
But seriously, this is a great resource. Thank you
SHE JUST LOOKS GREAT.
Great video, thank you very much !!
Another great video, thank you. In your description, you hashtag BPD; does that mean that people who've had pretty insufficient childhoods will likely have BPD, or at least manifest many of the symptoms in their thinking and feeling patterns..?
Found a very interesting video. It's on NICABM UA-cam channel with Dr. Janina Fisher. She descibes how feelings of worthlessness is a survival mechanism. Video is called "Trauma and Unworthiness". I think it's a very insightful perspective.
Tysm 🙏❤️
Thank you!
You're welcome!
Com base no que vi e li da teoria dos esquemas acredito finalmente ter descoberto o motivo de eu sempre ficar em total panico quando me deparo com agulhas e sangue e coisas que remetam a isso. Enquanto criança eu nao me senti segura e protegida quando me encontrava em situaçoes assim e tentando ser forte ignorei a minha necessidade de ser vulneravel e acolhida e acarinhada. Eu ignorei o lazer e busquei desempenho por meio de estudos e atividades que me testassem a fim de me sentir capaz e protegida por mim mesma. Sinto que alguns comportamentos desadaptativos envolvendo namoros e minha alimentaçao vem disso e a melancolia com que me deparo a cerca de 8 anos pode ter sido desencadeada la atras e so entao entrei em contato e nao sabendo lidar com isso pela necessidade de ser cada vez mais dura comigo mesma e ser "forte" eu quebrei. Hoje tento me adaptar ao fato de que sou adulta , semi independente pois logo vou me formar na pos graduaçao e começar a trabalhar , tenho amor e posso me defender , uma agulha para uma criança pode ser um monstro mas enquanto adulta posso readaptar minha mente para pensar " Eu quero e posso mudar,posso passar por esse exame de sangue ou doaçao de sangue e ficar bem , sao so umas furadas, eu ja operei vesicula e fiquei bem , quem encara cortes encara furos e coisas do tipo". Eu nao preciso ser compulsiva por comida ou por intimidade fisica com outras pessoas , nao preciso ser uma nerd apenas estudar , eu nao preciso ja ter o melhor emprego do mundo de cara apenas um emprego que pague as contas pra começar , eu posso ser grata por tudo de bom que tenho na minha vida e lidar com as emoçoes e momentos nao tao legais. Eu posso abraçar a minha criança vulneravel da mesma forma que eu desejava ser abraçada quando tinha aquela idade e dizer "Voce nao precisa ser a filha perfeita , a aluna ideal , a forte que nunca chora , voce pode sentir e mostrar , lidar com isso de modo a aprender com isso...".
This is not always the case. I loved my child very much and i tried very hard to comfort him and teach him to regulate. He always had problems regulating and would push me away from every early age and often hit me.
Great videos. Do you have ressources on actual interventions like imagery rescription? I figured I know much about schema theray in theory but I didn´t do the actual work yet.
I think we’re going to film that one in April
thanks so much for making these videos
You’re welcome
I’m trying to start somewhere but I cannot imagine being vulnerable ever again
Didn’t know Gal Gadot was a therapist. Brilliant video! 😁
Hi Jess, when we reparent ourselves, I imagine that it would be ideal to be in an environment that doesn't keep triggering our schemas? So if we try to remove ourselves from that situation, is that Healthy Adult doing the right thing, or is that maladaptive coping? i.e. flight..
If the environment is honestly not conducive to recovery, then leave (if you can). Healthy adults know how to set boundaries.
I'm becoming less skeptical about these videos. The biophysical explanations for the strategies to understand how we can be more understanding an work through some thinks that are stuck
Thanks
You’re very welcome
what a stunning woman
This should be taught in secondary schools 😭 for life skills for those neglected of love and self regulation
We completely agree with you.
@@thePSYCHcollective thank you so much for doing the work you do ❤️ I have been diagnosed with BPD traits, your videos give me hope
You’re welcome
In my case, as a child, my nervous system learned to shutdown because being angry would have meant death.
Love the product of your unrelenting standards (ie. These videos):-p
Great video. Can I pls have a link to the work sheet?
Hello, I’m glad you liked it
Here’s the link. www.thepsychcollective.com/vulnerable-child
Interesting
It seems like this video is marketing schema therapy instead of presenting multiple solutions to a well-defined solution. Perhaps I'm wrong.
Does anybody know of some books to read with a damaged vulnerable self? I have alexythmya.
Maybe it's Freudian but anyone else really want her to be your mother? I feel like I'd be the most well-adjusted person on earth if she was my parent. I'll make do with learning from her how to reparent myself.
Awww. Check out my good parent blanket hug video. I use my mom voice in that too.
I’ve started a major to do list to keep me busy so I can detach from the upcoming pain of my grandkids moving to another state. I don’t possess self compassion. I just want to die but I keep waking up
Self compassion is hard.
Self compassion is crucial.
Imagine a friend in your situation.
What would you say to them?
Would you judge them harshly?
A helpful exercise is to write to yourself as though you were writing to your friend in your predicament.
The malevolent may not deserve compassion, but everyone else does.
Wonder Woman have pure good schema therapy understanding 😂
I need help .I'm struggling.been working on my emotions .it's so hard
Yep. It is really damn hard.
❤
Does Death Anxiety stem from the Vulnerable Child?
There is a ‘vulnerability to harm’ schema which would be felt by the vulnerable child. Does that fit with your question?
@@thePSYCHcollective Thanks for answering :) I'll check it out. Love your content, btw
Audio too quiet
The adds are always so much louder. It hurt my ears
Please fix your sound
I see a lot of issues with schema therapy...first of all the very judgemental nomenclature assigned to the different states of mind (healthy adult...really? it could not be more judgmental than that). Second, I think there is a big lie within this model, and it lies in the mantra: you must take care of the vulnerable child who is the focal point of yourself...tbh, one should take care of something that has something good to give back in return, but this is not the case for vulnerable child mood..indeed, this mood is the worst part of anybody, it is like cancer...the lies is that schema therapy does not admit that the vulnerable child is a disease, a disease that one can not recover from...I am open to discussion: please tell me if I am wrong by answering the question: how is the vulnerable child a good thing to nurture?
❤