We are just gonna have to make our own Real Crab Conspiracy. We could conspire to plan a Crab Heist, or plot a Crab Murder, or we could form a Lobbyist group and use anti-crab propaganda to manipulate Government Officials into committing some kind of Crab Genocide. I don’t have the exact details worked out yet, hit me up so we can conspire about it.
I was imagining a video about "imitation crab" at grocery stores. They claim it is fish, but we all know its made of mice, wood shavings, and recycled cardboard.
0:02 I’ma stop you and the video right there… what is a crab because I do not know and unless I get a response I am not unpausing the video. Edit: waiting for a response from stoic, only he can explain and get me to unpause the video and finish it off… also some of these responses got me in tears 😂😂😂
Thank you so much for posting this!! As a hardworking landlord I let in far too many squat lobsters who I thought were crabs and literally none of my last tenant's 230 friends he invited even cleaned up after themselves leaving this awful stench. This is an outrage as NONE of them have ever paid rent, they just skittered away when I got too close to them, shows how truly illiterate and cowardly these squatters are.
Biologist here, the reason the porcelain crab has all those colours is actually pretty interesting, it's because it's the only known creature to actually care about manlets, manlets of course being able to see things that small due to their size.
Thanks Stoic Stick for supporting landlord rights. As a landlord, I have no qualms about doing a thankless job, but seeing my hard work being appreciated once in a while does make me very happy 😊
There’s no way you just said King Crab is 2/5 on the crabbiness scale but put the Squat Lobster in 3/5 even though one doesn’t look like a crab because it’s literally called a lobster.😭😭😭
I love your videos, but PLEASE make the background a dark color. Me and a lot of others watch your videos at night or in bed and it’s like a flashbang😭🙏🏽
It gets worse for the coconut crab. They're closely related to the hermit crab. In fact, they even do the same exact homeless schtick while they're still small
I think you really undersold the coolness and vibes of the king crab, but I can respect your opinion. I at least appreciate the extra consideration of their tastiness.
2:31 "Plastron" is a word used in French. It literally means "front body armour". Yes, it's used for human armour too. That's where the word comes from.
I've seen crabs before... but... can I really trust my memory? It's actually really hazy, and it might just be me misremembering. I thank thee for thine inspiration.
Stoic stick sold me fent behind a Costco bathroom
I sold stoic stick fent behind a Starbucks. Mfer resold it at a higher price
@@snakey1315 I'm reselling fent that stoic stick sold me that he resold from snakey1315. Want any?
Which Costco?
@@Folkmoot all of em. he's got clones all connected to a hivemind and they call themselves the stoic tree
@@Folkmoot Seattle center
real crab conspiracy when
2037
I mean, it is in the final part of the video, no?
end of video
Right NOW
We are just gonna have to make our own Real Crab Conspiracy.
We could conspire to plan a Crab Heist, or plot a Crab Murder, or we could form a Lobbyist group and use anti-crab propaganda to manipulate Government Officials into committing some kind of Crab Genocide.
I don’t have the exact details worked out yet, hit me up so we can conspire about it.
Imagine just existing for 350 million years only to get roasted on the internet by a stickman who says you are 2.3/5💀
We all know the real crabs are the friends we made along the way
Yah they the real homies
Given enough time all your friends will evolve into crabs
Conspiracymaxxing when
That's the entire channel
They're turning the freaking crabs gay!!!!
I was imagining a video about "imitation crab" at grocery stores. They claim it is fish, but we all know its made of mice, wood shavings, and recycled cardboard.
They took out the wood shaving now it’s packing peanuts
@@tomfox9083 ffs thats why my crab giving me allergies
Dude is so random that's not far from reality
What kind of bougie store do you go to that it contains any actual meat?
and it still tastes amazing
Coconut crabs also murdered amelia earhart and ate her corpse.
Trve
Based
No the government franed them and the fbi ate her
@@StoicStickNah, the Crab-Rothchilds called in an airstriike.
Cat Conspiracy when?
no i did
Bro the hermit crab slander is diabolical
Giving a hermit crab a 1 in coolness and vibes??
and the mini bal statue bros acting like hermit crabs go to epstien island
Someone’s crabby today
That was a crabby pun
Where's Alexei
@@wandfresser Germania
alexei lives
Alexiei has hidden in minecraft.
stoic makes me giggle like a school girl when he comes to my house and makes me pay my taxes
He hearted my comment now my pants are all wet
@@BellatorAmericaewhat.
@@mrfrog0913 you heard me boy.
ever dutiful to our crab overlords, that’s how we know him
Now that you mention it, I don't know how giggling sounds like.
"they pay their whole rent plus tip" must be the most offensive thing ever said on this channel
You should check out the landlord maxxing video then
Eugene crabs better be in this video.
Mr. Krabs is a real one tho
The worst part of coconut crabs? Imagine spiders the size of dogs who can climb trees. That's your coconut crab.
Sweet dreams.
Somehow that's still significantly less scary than actual spiders to me.
@@haganame1240well they are known to occasionally eat pets, maybe that helps?
They also eat human corpses and are the reason we can't find Amelia earhart's body.
They taste good at least
im crabmaxxing soon enough i will grow claws
As the good LORD intended. 🦅🦅🦅🦅💯💯💯💯🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥🔥💥💥💥💥🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🛢️🛢️🛢️🛢️🤠🤠🤠
0:02 I’ma stop you and the video right there… what is a crab because I do not know and unless I get a response I am not unpausing the video.
Edit: waiting for a response from stoic, only he can explain and get me to unpause the video and finish it off… also some of these responses got me in tears 😂😂😂
sea demons who have terrorized sailors for centuries
sti
most genetically engineered organisms on the planet. they’re the alpha species. we r betas to them☝️
@@3_ormorecharactersunderrated comment
@@3_ormorecharactersunderrated comment😂
Stoic Stick saved my grandmas heart from working anymore by helping it take a nice rest
:SD_NekoShrug:
Thank you so much for posting this!! As a hardworking landlord I let in far too many squat lobsters who I thought were crabs and literally none of my last tenant's 230 friends he invited even cleaned up after themselves leaving this awful stench. This is an outrage as NONE of them have ever paid rent, they just skittered away when I got too close to them, shows how truly illiterate and cowardly these squatters are.
Fact: Crabs sell fent to Sherlock Holmes.
Fun fact: everything eventually evolves into a crab, that's why there are so many species that look like crabs
13 minutes of fake crab slander
and landlord praise
2:15, I got absolutely no clue what any of those words mean
People waiting for REAL crabs tier list 👇
I am people
Coconut crabs ate amelia earhart
We got squat lobster so where's the landlord crab
True crabs will inherit the earth
He is going to loose his mind when he sees crab rave
I guess other creatures are like: “man, I wish I was a crab!”. Then became a crab.
em' crustations are real ones to me
5:59
I hate rentoids so much it's unreal.
I think stoic just wants us to think HIS crabs aren’t real.
Good stuff lately, a monkeypox theory would be epic, and fit well with the smart monkeys vid
Or just tax evasion or Hobo harrassing tutorial
Biologist here, the reason the porcelain crab has all those colours is actually pretty interesting, it's because it's the only known creature to actually care about manlets, manlets of course being able to see things that small due to their size.
Psyop at 1:04
Thanks Stoic Stick for supporting landlord rights.
As a landlord, I have no qualms about doing a thankless job, but seeing my hard work being appreciated once in a while does make me very happy 😊
There's a theory that if we met aliens, they would most likely look like crabs because so many creatures evolve to look like crabs.
what would seneca think about pineapple on pizza
You make my stick become stoic. The.
Bro is in his conspiracymaxxing era! 🧐🗿🗿🗿
Next time I eat a burger, I'll make sure Krusty Krab use real Krab.
Thank you for spreading the truth🙏
Despite making up 13% of the crab population hermit crabs…
This is the ideal arthropod body. You might not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.
What is a crap? It is what comes out from my intestines when I devour these ultimate life forms adapted to thrive known as crabs.
King crabs taste great but are really just overgrown seas spiders
Stoic make a video on fraudmaxxing before I become ticklish..
Crustacean eaters when they see a disgusting insect writhing on the ground in its own filth:
"How delectable 🥵"
Unnaceptable hermit crab slander
Next...Stoicism as taught by crabs? 🦀
Drugmaxxing when
I love googling these crabs and looking for the exact reference image used
Waiter! Waiter! More Amelia Earnhardt please!
No views in 14 seconds this guy is washed
real crabs like money
I just crab my pants with this info
reject monke, evolve to crab
Is this a Black Myth reference?
I paid my rent this month like a good citizen
If crabs were just 10x bigger, i think we would have a global problem
Hahaha the cheeky “you will subscribe “ above the crab. Fucking subconscious stuff amazing job mr stoick
Land bugs: "ew that's gross I'd never eat a bug."
Giant water bugs: "Please can I have more?"
Do you eat lobster shell?
@@CPU9incarnate no, I don't eat bugs no matter where they came be from.
@@DudeManDude-ot5fv shell fish are not bugs, they have meat
Bugs have meat@@CPU9incarnate
@@runningsandwich no they don't. They're all chitin and slime
7:58 oh my god has everyone seen this video
popping open a good old bottle of wine before watching this should be fun
I thought this video would take a very different turn
Stoic stick I love your video
My hermit crabs ate a lot of my snails for being fake.
1:32 CRAB BATTLE
There’s no way you just said King Crab is 2/5 on the crabbiness scale but put the Squat Lobster in 3/5 even though one doesn’t look like a crab because it’s literally called a lobster.😭😭😭
Now the word crab doesn’t make sense, I know it’s spelled right but it doesn't sound right
One of your funniest, and one of the best conspiracy videos so far. Loved it! (I now believe your conspiracy)
You forgot to mention that Coconut Crabs are basically hermit crabs during the early parts of their lives before leveling up into robber crabs.
I thought that this was a "fake" conspiracy about crabs, now knowing it is all too real.
I love TRUE and HONEST crabs.
This video offended my hermit crab. Good thing no one cares what hermit crabs think.
as a crab myself im proud of this video
12:25 finally accurate earth representation.
When brain rot maxing ??!
3:10 you will subscribe
Tipping on rent is absolutely Diabolical
American "culture"
When you’re saying ‘physiognomy’ you’re actually trying to say ‘physiology’
gotta love the subconscious messaging to subscribe, i could smell it out.
I love your videos, but PLEASE make the background a dark color. Me and a lot of others watch your videos at night or in bed and it’s like a flashbang😭🙏🏽
I'm not a 40K nerd, but I've heard that Squat Lobsters were in 1st edition, then shoved into the memory hole, but have been brought back recently.
When he put up the porcelain crab, I blew on my screen because I thought it was lint.
It gets worse for the coconut crab. They're closely related to the hermit crab. In fact, they even do the same exact homeless schtick while they're still small
No views in 37 seconds the fall off is insane
If all the stoic stick conspiracies are found to be true we are cooked 😭😭
crabs are just ocean spiders
I think you really undersold the coolness and vibes of the king crab, but I can respect your opinion. I at least appreciate the extra consideration of their tastiness.
Yes. Got off work early. A new stoic stick vid. Life is good.
I like men
Saw that! 10:01
What did it say? I can’t catch it
Oh I got it
Man trying to start a crab race war
ENGAGEMENT FOR THE ALGORITHM GOD! COMMENTS FOR THE COMMENT THRONE!
clothes, armor and tools are just our crabmaxification
2:31 "Plastron" is a word used in French. It literally means "front body armour". Yes, it's used for human armour too. That's where the word comes from.
9:05 ayyyy I predicted this in your post about this vid
I've seen crabs before... but... can I really trust my memory? It's actually really hazy, and it might just be me misremembering. I thank thee for thine inspiration.
Zerg mentioned, immediate thumbs up
stoic stick
stoic stick
Damn, I wish that crab/alien conspiracy was true.
eyooooooooo the stick passed 100k i fukin knew it! just noticed !
Ive been coming across so many channels lately that make me feel like im on acid and arent making sense lmao