Does a Narcissist Know What They Are Doing to You?
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- Опубліковано 18 вер 2024
- Does a narcissist know that they are narcissists?
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Tune in to hear the perspective of a self aware narcissist. That’s me - Ben Taylor a narcissist in recovery trying to promote awareness, healing, growth and change. I do that by these videos on here, TikTok, Instagram and Facebook.
Also I try to help people with or abused by narcissism. Please reach out to me if you are a:
Victim of Narcissistic Abuse - Helping provide closure, reduce guilt and break free from the trauma bond that toxic people imprison you in.
Narcissist - I understand you better than you probably understand yourself because I have been there, I am there and I am fighting daily for a better life. You can do that too.
If you are interested in talking with me one on one grab a one-on-one time slot here: www.rawmotivat...
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Yes they know. You can't fix them . When they start feeling empty or depressed they start manipulation those around them to feel grandiose. So take entitlement - they feel they don't deserve so they act the opposite way. Give me this now!
Exactly 👏🏻
That actually makes a lot of sense
My wife has not cared for 22 years. Wow. My 6 kids who live with her now are fucked. And her new supply. Yes the shit always hot the fan when we got home. Wow. She always brought me down in public. She was really toxic in the house.
You are so right. Abusive behind closed doors but out in public she was beautiful and loving. Horrible. And she triangulated me with her mum. My wife has not been diagnosed with NPD. But all the traits are there! She is toxic behind closed doors. Thanks for this video. I'm 11 months into separation and healing. And this video puts alot into perspective. Thanks.
Well done for doing the work.
They know. Or they wouldn't try and make u feel that way.
Exactly 👍
They can’t change as long as they don’t want to acknowledge of the truth of who they are.
They know. They just don’t care.
The big question is, Do they care?? The answer to that would be NO!! I don't even know myself anymore. I feel empty, broken, and sad.
I'm so sorry honey.
I'm in the same boat as you, honey. You're not alone! I'll pray for you ❤
Given time, if you can leave these toxic people, you can rebuild self worth and rise above the damage they did to you. Knowledge of narc motivation and behaviour can strengthen you too. @@Ariela-ApostolicA238
Never wanted to fix him he always looked fine. Behind my back is where he lived.
Yes!
💜
Also, the problem i encountered was that he tried to convince me that he cared, but the actions showed he did NOT care. That is what did my head in. Now i understand that they simply did NOT care. The only time they care is if they think they will be shamed for their behavior. Once again, they will only change their behavior - and it is only temporarily, mind you - if it will reflect good on them. It is NEVER about you, it is ALWAYS about them.
They only care about being expossed.
And getting more supply there hamsters on there weel till there times up.
The push and pull is ridiculous. I have to look back on old messages and recorded conversations to constantly remind myself of who I’m dealing with.
They build a "bond" so they can use you. For their own purposes
They don’t care is spot on!
I like that. - I was trying to name what I had for 44 years- a situationship.
I have been trying to " change" him for 6 years. Help him. The cheating, the lies, the dating sites, the smear campaign that he started and I am still here. I have caught him, confronted him, cried, begged, went in the hospital with a heart attack, put up with being to my late husband hated me, being told it was my fault my husband died in our front yard because I didn’t know CPR good enough, told me my daughter hates me because she said it in front of him after my husband died and I wouldn't sign my house over to her....
I can't do it anymore. This is the first time I have cried in years. I am not allowed to cry around him.
I own my home, I paid cash for it from my late husband's life insurance, but it’s on his land. I bought new furniture and the things I needed for a home. I didn't want to ever be homeless. He was supposed to sell me the land but tore the papers up the month after they set my house up. He financially destroyed me and knows I can't afford to move and so the cycle of abuse continues and is getting worse.
It's not my home, It's he!!
I have nowhere to go, no relatives, no family left and no friends.
Why do they smear you so quickly? It's so evil.
I told him I grew up in N alcoholic household and didn't want to be in any relationships with an alcohol user. He swore, he didn’t drink. He didn't for the first 2 years, but I could smell it and he gaslit me saying I was crazy. Then, he started drinking in front of me...7 to 10 a night and I hide in my house.
I am at my witts end.
I am lost.....
I looked for women's shelters but I'm not abused because I have no bruises that show and they are overcrowded due to the immigrants.
The hard part is having cancer and being disabled. My husband was such a good man. I can't understand this narcissist's evil....
I just want a life....I have been watching these videos and have been working on myself. I realize I have to leave but, I have to figure out how.
Sorry for the long post....I haven't been able to tell anyone about this mess I got myself in....
Im deeply sorry to hear that. I sympathize with you. I'm in a similar situation with my boyfriend and was feeling this way for three weeks now. Had to come back to my house after he kicked me in the chest and I ran away from MY HOUSE...(he came to live with me)
It's going to get better for us girl,,, find a safety plan and move in silence. Also keep tabs on him, check his phone emails to know what's going on in his life. This is to keep you safe because you're dealing with evil forces. Protect yourself. Sending love from Kenya❤🇰🇪
Yes they know.
They may not know all the time (each little thing) and, as you said, they don't care.
But they know when they hurt you on purpose or manipulate you. It brings them joy to succeed at it.
They KNOW.
If a dog bites you.... would'nt you want to find out why that was? If the dog did it intentionally?
I find it legitimate to ask oneself if they know what they are doing and causing you to feel.
Of course, in the end, it doesn't solve anything.
Curiosity is intelligence.
He was direct in telling me he doesn’t care about my needs and feelings 🫶🏼
Yes. They know. And they enjoy it.
They know somethings not right and only present their awful behavior at home, but i dont think they accept the problem is them.
Absolutely. He is NOT mentally ill.
Lol yeah they are mentally I’ll. If being a narc isn’t sick I don’t know is. It’s def not normal.
There are compassionate clinicians that actually believe narcissism is treatable (for the person that really wants that help), and they do believe it's somewhat of a mental illness. It's a personality disorder, but it's not talked about enough that the suicide rate among those w/ NPD is around 20%, which is very high.
My infuriated neighbour narc has laid countless traps over 5 years because i know what she is and discarded her early and totally. Many of these schemes are very convoluted. Premeditated. They know exactly what they are doing.
I cannot thank you enough for being honest about your struggles with narcissism, in order to help those of us who don't understand it. It took watching your videos and others for me to accept that my own husband doesn't care about me; He doesn't care about the kids. He only only cares about himself and whatever it is he seeking at the moment. I gained the strength to leave our one-sided marriage, and my husband learned that not only is his selfishness unacceptable, but his friends and family are not his support system--the kids and I are. This reality check forced him to start making changes, and he's still a work in progress.
I think people might ask this question, because they want to know what they are dealing with. They had likely just thought that they were dealing with anger issues and it's not so much that they wanted to change that person, although that would be nice, if it were just anger issues, say, then we can still believe they loved us and just said all those horrible things when they lost control of their right thinking. However, I have learned that these people are truly evil, they are completely manipulative, calculated and have everything worked out in their heads, even most of their rages are fake drama episodes. They simply hate you, full stop. They are incapable of love and certainly have no empathy/feelings or care what they do to you or how you feel. Ben says they just dont care how you feel and that is totally true. You are there to serve them to support THEIR lives, not the other way round. You are thought of no more than the housemaid.
It's amazing and I really believe they know what they are doing. Which is also why I must do the healing work I need to do so I don't repeat this again! I am at the place of listening to my fear instead of my brain trying to rationalize what the NPD does with his crazy hoovering past blocks. The 7 Day Challenge to Escape Toxicity helped me reach this place and I am continuing with your Clarity Challenge course and the From Fantasy to Reality workbook. Thank you!
Yes I tried to fix him
@7:32 - just to get rid of the confusion, that's why I needed to know. But eventually I figured I'd never get the truth, so I let it go and walked away, not worried about it either way.
They absolutely know why ,whenever you tell them something they use it against you good or bad.Their existence relies on the complete demoralization,degradation and demeaning of their target.
Gaslighting and physical abuse aren't accidental.
What makes it worse part of the cruelty,that someone you love could intentionally harm you in this manner.
The narcissist I was with begged me for my help, and then when I helped them they blamed me that they got help and didn’t need it. Was so confusing
The seven dollars I spent on your seven day course was the best investment I ever made. 🙏🏼
Thank you
I don't want to fix him I want him to acknowledge how hurtful he is and work on his issues like I have to work on mine. We cannot fix other people. I have allowed him to repeatedly abuse, lie and devalue me for 35 years. Enough is enough! He kniws what he us doing but thinks he is perfect and has been a great husband. What can you do with a person like that? Leaving is the only answer.
35 years… me too, 34 years married and stripped of everything, my life, my health, my money, my driving license, my family, friends, my job, my safety. And still no way to go, totally dependent and overwhelmed with their depths, and even coming from two narc parents I learned about what this really is that made my life a mess just about a year ago. I’m glad about being wiser now and able to see that it wasn’t all just my own insanity and anger issues… if only… 😰… I would’ve known all this a few years ago 🙈
Yes, I know THEY KNOW what they’re doing, they’re lying conscientiously to you and take advantage of your helplessness, they ridicule you in front of other people, they have very low self esteem what makes it even worse and if they are feeling something, it’s only about themselves. They keep you so they have someone to fill their missing peaces without ever rewarding you or thanking you in any way. If only I had seen all this some time ago and gained my power… I can only say: RUN as long as you can and don’t let them know what you’re planning and then don’t look back. That’s what I would do if I had the chance…
❤
YES they do, they just don't give a 💩.
They make mental excuses for their actions.
Well put!
Yes. My sister got a kick out of it. Abusers torture use and gaslight you.
Absolutely well said Ben. Thank you for clarifying this!
I'd say most of those people are not fixable. And like you said, they really don't care how they affect you. If they DID care, they would stop doing half the s*** they do. Intentional or unintentional, they are still doing it.
May be we want to know because we can not realise that how do narcissists think, for me it is much more easier to detach from the person. If I know that he did all in purpose it is easier to rewrite the history of the relationship . May be not everybody can trust their feelings therefore is necessary to make some brainwork too-already out from the relationship.
Thank you. I am trying to let go of the emotional attachment to my narcissistic dad. I am well aware that his actions are toxic and I am happy to have moved out with my mom, but some part of me wonders if he didn't mean to hurt me, would he apologize if I told him about it?
The analogy of being a painting in the background is extremely helpful. I believe he never did intend to hurt me, but he doesn't get brownie points for it because it wasn't about me. I mean nothing to him. It also explains how vastly different his abuse towards my mom was, because he intended to hurt her (because revenge and stuff) and he very much succeeded (she is fine now). In a way, it is worse to know I mean nothing to him, it would be easier to let go if he hated me. Despite that, this gives me closure and explains why it took so long for me to know it was abuse, because it wasn't obvious direct intent to harm. I was nothing but collateral damage.
Yes and they don't care
Oh he knew. He was doing it on purpose to wreck me because he didn’t want a divorce. It wasn’t obvious until internet porn got good. I became a psych experiment. After10 years of bad dreams and insomnia I had to face up to I was married to a purely evil person.
Thank you for your insight it’s been useful. But knowing that you have no empathy for other people is discouraging and makes it difficult to listen to you and believe you.
That’s exactly why we should listen. He would know…
I am really sick of listen from "self aware narcissists" I fell like it's hypocrisy because they say clear that we need to leave because they will never change, they will never get better that they don't care, they don't love but other hand they present their selfs like better, like the therapy works. We all know they are liers and that they lie exactly to get this, attention and validation, and when we watch their videos, subscribe or whatever we are given exactly what they want. I will stop watch this liers and star to look for videos from others victims or from professionals.
@@Sassysagg-m5o for adoration and attention. Not for your insight or wellbeing
@@jimjetsonjr.8213 not necessarily. He is trying to help people from a cognitive place. There is a really fascinating narcissist on UA-cam. I am blanking on his name at the moment and he is super negative and a little scary. He is also trying to help people but you can honestly tell that he doesn’t give a shit if you use the info or not. This channel is clearly trying to help. He is a self-aware narcissist who wants to be different. That is what makes the difference. The other guy’s name is HG Tudor. You’ll see the difference if you want to check him out.
@@kalifornia4745 if u remember the name of the other channel, could u post it here? I'd be interested in checking it out ☺
Narc don't care how others feel about anything but their self
9:43 She loved bombed the hell out of me maaaan listen told me she was exactly like I was but then never agree with anything I say if u are just like I am 😮? why now are u disagreeing with the things that we once openly agreed that we saw eye to eye but move ahead a year in oh no dispute every single solitary thing that come out of my mouth! When I would give her daughter advice she needed to have us go thru her to communicate and when my daughter would ask me what I thought she would basically tell me well she doesn’t agree and this is what it is and she would literally enable her daughter and feed into her daughter shi and then tell her it’s everyone else and not her. She would literally go out her way to placate her daughter who is 33 and can’t think for herself she has to tell her mother everything. Your child isn’t supposed to tell u everything. I can see this soo soo clear now 😮. She also had a job but whenever I came over she never had any assignments and she was acting and doing all this stuff when we met she said the set closed In 2020 and then still told me she was going to castings in 2021 how if they closed due to Covid didn’t remember til now. She was horribly toxic and she was delusional and DEFINITELY a COVERT NARC 😮
❤
Bro. You actually didn’t answer they question. You just want on an aggressive rant about know why people ask that question. Assuming everyone only ever asks that question to justify helping the narc.
You made this whole thing about you. And your opinion and tried to manipulate us that what your saying is an objective fact.
I ask because I can’t believe that these narc can and want to do this to their partner. I can’t wrap my head around why such an in love man could do this to me.
Please keep doing your daily work
How is the narcissist a narcissist, yet is able to be aware & even WANT to care about others? Is that where I go deeper into the types & grades of Narcissism & tie-in. Narcissist is very specific, that's not diagnosed as much as the rest right...? So then people are narcissistic more so to say. I don't know & I feel like I'm spinning in circles on how to even speak on it in a way that I'm ever happy about at least 😬😁 anybody know where I'm going, help me out 🙏🏼
How are you self aware?
check this out .. ua-cam.com/video/zJ2hQ6oqbrw/v-deo.htmlsi=bVKVSx1rmA2VUP6w
How did you change?
Here's a video i made a while back ua-cam.com/video/zJ2hQ6oqbrw/v-deo.htmlsi=LiRfZ897oVJbzdVZ
Will you anwser this ben are all narcissists especially malignant types misoginists. And my malignant narc told me stuff in round a bout way not straight out with it . He said his doctor gave him £200 for his first car which i no was rubish is it trying to tell me he is a closseted homesexual he lifted himself up and what i seen made me scream not normal can you anwser this i was married to malignant husband let me know what you think
Me too same
Think ben lost his tounge
Ben wont anwser questions so many closseted narcs hey .no voice ben???
@@Shirley-t9b so many narcs and they are stupid enough to think oh wait... they never think 🤣🤣🤣 lol
@@Shirley-t9b hi
You don’t look like a narcissist 😮 scary 😭
Do all psycho, socio and narcs look a certain way? No. That’s why we focus on behaviors and facts.
Im writing my story right now and am asking myself this very thing… how much was conscious vs. premeditated 🫣