Props to Mike Epps for acknowledging that he effed up the joke and start again ..to do that in front of a live audience takes way more strength than most people know
He recovered it nicely though. Everyone messes up now and then on stage. The show must go on. As a comedian, you are having a conversation with your audience. They don't expect you to be perfect. They expect you to be genuine and to be yourself, and they want to hear what you have to say.
“ Jesus can’t be white, Jesus is not a white guy name, Jesus had a lot of friends with names like Peter, Matthew, Mark and John… white guy names which is probably why they SOLD HIM OUT”. Epic lol!
i will not reach all of you, but i hope maybe just one name will be transferred to the book of life, There are two things to worry about in life, one is the documentation of every single sin you commit, the second is your reward for the good deeds or the righteous acts you do, you have to balance between these two, which for the first isn't really possible, but for the second, i mean you could do a lotta good if you have a good heart, now all that good work will go to waste if you still have your sins being documented, because at the end of your life, those documents will be opened and you will answer for all of them, if you decide to give your life to Christ, accept he died to save you, then easily, you have the first part down, all your sin documents will be burnt, no longer be documented, and you're saved, and now what you gotta fight for is maintaining a clean record and stockpiling your rewards, so that when your life here ends, you will have stuff to go home to, you might think it's not worth it, you might have heard differently, but think about it, imagine on the 1% chance i happen to be saying the truth, imagine that you got the opportunity to get saved and you miss it, how sad it'd be when you remember this, don't let this pass easily, it's easy real estate, all you gotta do is accept Jesus, and you have part of it done, now your good deeds mean something
his name wasn't Jesus! It was pronounced ," yeshwa". He wasn't Eropian white, but he was Israeli white. Obviously it wasn't spelled like that. They didn't write in English. Same goes with all the other names...John is "Yohannes".... The bible was translated by people in a way that makes sense to the speakers of their respective lanuages( peter= petros). Please, go a bit deeper before judging.
his name wasn't Jesus! It was pronounced ," yeshwa". He wasn't Eropian white, but he was Israeli white. Obviously it wasn't spelled like that. They didn't write in English. Same goes with all the other names...John is "Yohannes".... The bible was translated by people in a way that makes sense to the speakers of their respective lanuages( peter= petros, mathew= matiwos, mark= markos). Please, go a bit deeper before judging.
John Mulaney: "No kid is just going to church." I'm embarrassed to say mine did. We didn't raise him religious. Me and his dad don't even go to church, but he decides at 10 he wants to go and we were supportive but confused as to why. We found out it was because he liked the snacks he'd heard from a neighbor kid that they handed out 🙄 LOL
No need to be embarrassed. He responded to the bribe they offered. The snacks were real. Hope he doesn't fall for the much bigger bribe they offer. Heaven is imaginary.
OH my! No wonder people thought I was so bad on my kid's because they had to go to three different religions at the same time! They All had chores they all had home work summer and winter but I didn't raise no stupid kid's and have always done the right thing! I never cared what other people had to say they didn't have a clue! Now my oldest is a neonatal specialist and one is a pharmacist and the youngest is a electrical engineer so tell me do you think I was a hard ass? My children were never spanked unless they lied and I never had to punish my boy's that way but the girl was a totally different story! Mother's curse I told my husband no girls and he went ahead and shot the balls off of her made the nurse laugh when I told him that!
@@karenjensen6642 The joke refers to the fact that if you truly, sincerely believe that God is All Powerful and Everywhere at Once, Sees and Knows ALL, then why are you having to try to get His attention so hard? Don't you TRUST Him to be doing the Right thing, even if you do not understand it all from your limited mortal view? Why are his children second-guessing Him about, let's say, gay people, who were ALL created by the exact same GOD that made YOU?
The message from God has always been 0NE God Christians,Hindus & Muslims are supposed to believe in ONE God ( Mark 12 : 29 - 31) ( Chandogya Upanishad 6 : 2 : 1 ) ( Quran Surah Ikhlas 112 :1 - 4 ) It's SH0CKING to see the Christians and Hindus reject their own books l never knew a time would come when the followers of a religion will reject parts of the books they claim to believe in 🤦♂️
If he's not available, you can talk to the Saint in charge of the activity you are upset about ☠️☠️🤣🤣 Every single Saint has been assigned an assignment. 🤣
Imagine being such a religious fanatic that you would search out and watch these videos on UA-cam just to wage a religious war in the comment section. "Thou shalt not judge, unless it's in a UA-cam comment section, in which case, go forth and tear that shit up..."
Wow, putting all these videos together makes me realize why some comedians are the greats. The way Chris Rock delivered his joke was very intellectual.
Similar to Science Fiction, comedy has the ability to address contraversial subjects with less scrutiny from the people of faith often in charge of sensing media.
@@Fixing_the_system that part was hilarious. In one of his standup shows, He talks about how him and his wife are catholic, so they don’t use birth control and They just had their 4th kid. So he goes, “you want to know what it’s like to have a 4th? Imagine you’re drowning and someone hands you a baby” 😂 I don’t know if you’ve watched his specials, but they’re all soo funny through the whole thing.
I relate to the Bill Burr story, not until i learnt about scientology and how crazy the stories are i was able to see some crazy things in my religion at the time.
The Bible itself is full of ridiculous stories. You can't take those stories literally at all. Virgin birth, a man swallowed by a Whale and lived, a talking snake, talking donkey, insecure, narcissistic Tyrant of a God.
If everyone believed in reincarnation we would take care of the planet and treat each other better. The animals too. U don't need organized religion to be a spiritual person
@@RAIRADIO karma usually isn't described well. But from near death experiencers and people during past life regressions; they say people choose their parents and lives and choose a lesson or experience. So if u die before that u can choose to come back n finish it. Also even killers and atheists are let into the light if they want it. The balance of karma comes I believe when u have ur life review. They say u experience all the joy and all the pain ur actions and caused to other people. Even in ways u were unaware of...
I will be forever grateful to the co-worker who told me about Bill Burr back in the 1990s. We went to see his show at The Fillmore in San Francisco, and he had to assist me when it was time to leave. I’d never heard anyone so unrelentingly hilarious, and I was barely able to walk because I’d cracked a rib laughing. While all of the performers in this video are excellent, there is something about Bill Burr that sets him apart.
Truer words never spoken! His dad was the dentist 🦷 of one of my employees-front row seats to at least 3 of his shoes in and around Boston Ma, where he’s front. He never disappoints! I believe I’ve seen everything he’s ever released and all of them are hilarious. You laugh so damn hard your cheeks hurt. What sets him apart is his intelligence. He has an intellectual observation behind every joke. His improv is amazing! 😂
16:20 Good point by Chris Rock. The most religious among us are always telling us that their deity is almighty and all-powerful. But if somebody draws a cartoon of him or questions him, then suddenly Mr Omnipotent is frail and vulnerable. He feels threatened. His human worshippers have to gang up on the blasphemer to protect him. They suddenly have very little faith in his indestructibility.
as a muslim i know that this ex Muslims, ex Christians, ex Jews etc are enslaved by their own desire, they worship their desire, they obey their desire, they make their desire as their god
I've always had trouble with the "Jesus is my friend" part. A good friend would not expect me to visit him on a weekly basis at set time for boring activities only he enjoys. I have a mother to expect that of me and we don't even see each other that often. Therefore, I haven't been to church in 15 years except for weddings and funerals.
Bill Burr talking about Scientology had me rolling talking about his name was ron, he had a drivers license and theres footage of him stubbing his toe 🤣🤣
18:42 -- Meanwhile, in an Italian catholic environment, you just stop at Mary because why waste time with the kid when you can just go straight to his mother?
I left Christianity a few months ago and I haven't felt more free. Black folks love Jesus more than anybody and more shit happens to us than anyone. Abrahamic religions are not for my people but do you.
29:13 The transition from Jeselnik mocking Christian Science to Ellen narrating her experience as a Christian Scientist was a nice touch. 23:53 Bill Burr laid out the manifesto for many adults who were raised Christians and turned atheists.
How the F*ck you call yourself a Christian “scientist “……when you don’t believe in science 🤦🏾♂️. Is like saying I’m a Christian saver when all you do is kill for Jesus …
I have friends who are Catholic. I went to a Mass once. It started at 9:00am, by 9:45, we were OUTTA THERE! Go to a Black Baptist Church at 9:00am...If you're lucky, you'll be out of there by 2:00pm! And that's a slow Sunday!!!
Mass typically lasts almost exactly an hour because it follows the Liturgy, which is a daily planned routine the clergy have instructions for for each day of the year. Protestant churches don’t have much structure and mostly just wing it, so (no pun intended) God help you if the pastor/preacher is particularly jazzed up that day!
When people say "women just aren't as funny as men", I show them Kathleen Madigan. Her "don't bother Jesus" rules this compilation. And btw Paula Poundstone rules too!
My guy Gaffigan complaining about the length of catholic church; he should try sitting through a whole ass Pentecostal service! You can literally witness the change of the seasons omg🤣
They told me I was catholic when I was a kid. Made me go to Sunday school on Saturday Morning (Cartoon Time)!!! So you see, their plan was doomed from the start.
"Going to church at Golden Corral.. I would go to church every Sunday." You basically described , superficially, how Santeros and Santeras do worship. There are always food, drinks and cigars involved, and lots of music. Definitely not going to waste the dead chickens, goats, etc. The point is some of the rituals involves feeding people after first letting God and the Orishas eat first... and some of these rituals look like massive buffets that would put Golden Corral to shame. In Santeria there are times in which the buffets are days long. No one goes hungry... that's for sure. In fact, sharing the food with your community is how you will receive blessings from God, and the Orishas.
I'm agnostic, I was raised Lutheran and Buddhist, and my girlfriend is Catholic. And like that serious overseas Catholic. And since we want children that means I'm essentially gonna be Catholic-lite.
I was an agnostic buddhist now after watching all these past life regressions and near death experience videos I'm a Buddhist who believes in the source
@@realtalk5329 I had 3 near-death experiences in my childhood. They were all extremely positive experiences and identical. It gave me the benefit of getting to walk through life with a much stronger grasp on what comes next compared to most. I wanna compare those experiences to (legal) psychedelics one day. I personally believe NDEs and psychedelics are the basis of all major world religions. I still practice Shinto-Buddhism rituals but I'm agnostic to all of it. The labels don't matter to me. What matters is knowing I'll be connected to all humans for eternity without pain after this life.
Meh. It's been a very long time since I've smiled - much less laughed - at anything Chris Rock said, & this video did not come close to breaking that streak. Why should any religious person believe that, regardless of anything a person does, "God's got you regardless" of how many commandments you break? Sure thing! Listen to Chris Rock, & do all the murdering, stealing, & cheating on your partner with another person in an exclusive relationship you want & don't bother apologising or repenting. Chris Rock may be fine with you but there's no religion anwhere that will tell you that you can do whatever you want & that it's all going to be okay.
Religion has actually convince people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do every minute of every day and the invisible man has a list of things HE DOES NOT WANT YOU TO DO and if you do any of these things he will send you in a olace full of fire and smoking and torture for you to live forever and ever till the end of time, but He loves you, He loves You, He loves You and He needs money, He always need money George Carlin
Jesus, if he existed he was middle eastern anyway; not the fantasy that “claimed” it to be. In fact; if he were to come back I think these crazy Christia Nationalists would crucify him all over again 😂😂
The reason they circumcised in ancient times is because the skin sometimes tightens like a tight rubber band and prevents men from having sex when they are full grown since it is obviously very painful. This happened to my husband who was born at home in a snow storm and in the military he had to have surgery to fix the problem. It might be safer now with better medical procedures but back then he had to be constantly under supervision to prevent him from bleeding out until he was released a long time later. They were given drugs to prevent erection but that was not 100% effective and he tore the stitches and had to be rushed back for repairs. I feel sorry for the guys who have to get the surgery as adults.
I almost died in a very painful way because of that condition. I had to under go traditional circumcision(tribal things in Africa) and it started a chain of events that would happen over time, almost leading to certain death. I survived, I passed the traditional circumcision ceremony without any complications that I know of and I can say that proudly because I am officially a man in my tribe, and I am proud of that. I could never explain or put into words the pain I had to go through to untighten the rubber band without using medical surgery. One of my first attempts was using my urine by holding it in hopes of widening or stretching the rubber band, I went through that painful process for hours, and what happen after is a nightmare of days and months to follow I will not go into detail to because I respect my culture. It is taboo to speak about this practice and I honestly believe this alone has been the root to the causes of many deaths and mutilations of young men from my tribe who go through the same practice. I honestly believe many young men from my tribe have died or got mutilated due to this condition and having to undergo traditional circumcision straight after. I was lucky, so lucky I sometimes I think my ancestors had something to do with me surviving. I made me appreciate life even more. This proves tribal beliefs and tradition can be just as dangerous as religious beliefs.
@@Tiffany_3x I attended in South Africa, I just love hearing about the word of God the bible has some good stories. The pastor loved to explain what a verse meant to a tea. I didn't fit in much when I was younger (I probably still don't) so church was great because they share the similar values like you. The worship team was great too they sang from the heart and made sure they practised and put out a show for us.
i am 70 and grew up in Los Angeles and went to catholic school. didn't really think about it much. just did ,as my parents wished me to. i developed a big crush on a girl who went to public school, and went to church with her family. i began riding my bicycle to mass at 9:45, so i could sit in the pew behind her. we had a mutual friend so she knew me. when the service was over they went out one exit and i went out another so we would cross paths. as i approached them i said hello to her parents and smiled at her as she passed. we moved south the next year and without her i saw no point in going to mass again. i was in it for Linda Barresi . . . . . . . . .
@@musicsansnotes thanks. a few years later when i was in colkege at UCLA i met my friends wife who was Linda's best friend in high school. she told me that Linda had married and divorced but didn't know where she lived. not long after she divorced my friend. at least i have the memory of Linda and playing games in the summer at Stag Strret grade school
I'm an atheist now, but growing up Catholic I used to lie in confession because I sincerely thought it was a trap and they'd tell my parents anything i told them and I'd get in trouble.
Bill Burr is this Black man's story 100%. I simply, let all that mind control, that conditioning, fadeeeeeee away. LOL I've been happier ever since! :)
It was meant to be a health code. They probably didn't bathe often and may be didn't clean their bits well so cutting it off to avoid infections like smegma made sense.
@@2late4date how it that every creature exist just the way they are with all their natural biological feature intact BUT We humans are the one who found some flaw in our normal physical biology that it became acceptable to multilate each other?
Chris Rock brought up a point similar to George Carlin on the concept of God needing help from humanity, if he's really an all-powerful being, why would he need help/money?
I was the only person in my family to ever regularly go to church. To be fair, what 8 year old is gonna turn down a damn free pizza party/lock-in (great name that-in retrospect🙄), and free candy, coffee(yes,8, coffee, great combo🤦🏼)and all those pastor's daughters in the teen years? "Ah, memories."
This kind of Laughter was good for me, couldn't think of nothing else cause I was LMAO🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂 EVERY Comedian; EVERYONE of them had me holdin my Side😂😂😂😂😂!!!!
Props to Mike Epps for acknowledging that he effed up the joke and start again ..to do that in front of a live audience takes way more strength than most people know
I agree, ....that was pretty remarkable to me.
I think it was part of the act, the camera panned to the dj
He recovered it nicely though. Everyone messes up now and then on stage. The show must go on. As a comedian, you are having a conversation with your audience. They don't expect you to be perfect. They expect you to be genuine and to be yourself, and they want to hear what you have to say.
He fucked up because he was making fun of the people! You don’t make joke, you need to tell people straight the fuck up !😜
“ Jesus can’t be white, Jesus is not a white guy name, Jesus had a lot of friends with names like Peter, Matthew, Mark and John… white guy names which is probably why they SOLD HIM OUT”. Epic lol!
i will not reach all of you, but i hope maybe just one name will be transferred to the book of life, There are two things to worry about in life, one is the documentation of every single sin you commit, the second is your reward for the good deeds or the righteous acts you do, you have to balance between these two, which for the first isn't really possible, but for the second, i mean you could do a lotta good if you have a good heart, now all that good work will go to waste if you still have your sins being documented, because at the end of your life, those documents will be opened and you will answer for all of them, if you decide to give your life to Christ, accept he died to save you, then easily, you have the first part down, all your sin documents will be burnt, no longer be documented, and you're saved, and now what you gotta fight for is maintaining a clean record and stockpiling your rewards, so that when your life here ends, you will have stuff to go home to, you might think it's not worth it, you might have heard differently, but think about it, imagine on the 1% chance i happen to be saying the truth, imagine that you got the opportunity to get saved and you miss it, how sad it'd be when you remember this, don't let this pass easily, it's easy real estate, all you gotta do is accept Jesus, and you have part of it done, now your good deeds mean something
Epic
his name wasn't Jesus!
It was pronounced ," yeshwa". He wasn't Eropian white, but he was Israeli white. Obviously it wasn't spelled like that. They didn't write in English. Same goes with all the other names...John is "Yohannes".... The bible was translated by people in a way that makes sense to the speakers of their respective lanuages( peter= petros).
Please, go a bit deeper before judging.
his name wasn't Jesus!
It was pronounced ," yeshwa". He wasn't Eropian white, but he was Israeli white. Obviously it wasn't spelled like that. They didn't write in English. Same goes with all the other names...John is "Yohannes".... The bible was translated by people in a way that makes sense to the speakers of their respective lanuages( peter= petros, mathew= matiwos, mark= markos).
Please, go a bit deeper before judging.
@@adeynatey4933 he wasn't Caucasian.. he was moore
John Mulaney: "No kid is just going to church."
I'm embarrassed to say mine did. We didn't raise him religious. Me and his dad don't even go to church, but he decides at 10 he wants to go and we were supportive but confused as to why. We found out it was because he liked the snacks he'd heard from a neighbor kid that they handed out 🙄 LOL
No need to be embarrassed. He responded to the bribe they offered. The snacks were real. Hope he doesn't fall for the much bigger bribe they offer. Heaven is imaginary.
It'll be more than just candies next time, It'll be a thick bar of Chocolate.
@@chargemankent bro wat 💀
OH my! No wonder people thought I was so bad on my kid's because they had to go to three different religions at the same time! They All had chores they all had home work summer and winter but I didn't raise no stupid kid's and have always done the right thing! I never cared what other people had to say they didn't have a clue! Now my oldest is a neonatal specialist and one is a pharmacist and the youngest is a electrical engineer so tell me do you think I was a hard ass? My children were never spanked unless they lied and I never had to punish my boy's that way but the girl was a totally different story! Mother's curse I told my husband no girls and he went ahead and shot the balls off of her made the nurse laugh when I told him that!
He met a church girl. Only logical conclusion!
As a recovering Catholic, I truly enjoyed this!!!
mf said recovering 💀
I did too 🍻 to us 👏 yeah!
I'm a recovering Black Baptist. I understand
Recovered Xtian with years of religious trauma. These were great!
Recovering? Lol
"You go to church every week because you don't trust god" 😂😂
What did I miss? Going to church because you don't trust God well I never heard anything like that before 😜 still don't make since!
@@karenjensen6642 Ok Karen.
@@karenjensen6642 17:11
@@karenjensen6642 The joke refers to the fact that if you truly, sincerely believe that God is All Powerful and Everywhere at Once, Sees and Knows ALL, then why are you having to try to get His attention so hard? Don't you TRUST Him to be doing the Right thing, even if you do not understand it all from your limited mortal view? Why are his children second-guessing Him about, let's say, gay people, who were ALL created by the exact same GOD that made YOU?
@@CallMeGailyn : Right, why pray if god already knows your wants and needs? Is it begging that god wants?
Props to whoever compiles these, they are so brilliantly put together. You deserve a raise.
Nbvvc...c C xvbnmmnnb.
Jkjjkknnkgtrxswegg Dlnnmlp
Well let's start with a salary first😏
Its Netflix
The message from God has always been 0NE God
Christians,Hindus & Muslims are supposed to believe in ONE God
( Mark 12 : 29 - 31)
( Chandogya Upanishad 6 : 2 : 1 )
( Quran Surah Ikhlas 112 :1 - 4 )
It's SH0CKING to see the Christians and Hindus reject their own books
l never knew a time would come when the followers of a religion will reject parts of the books they claim to believe in 🤦♂️
If he's not available, you can talk to the Saint in charge of the activity you are upset about ☠️☠️🤣🤣 Every single Saint has been assigned an assignment. 🤣
I'm sorry father, but I do not recall and I need an attorney... 🤣😂🤣
Kathleen Madigan is my favorite stand up comedian.
Imagine being such a religious fanatic that you would search out and watch these videos on UA-cam just to wage a religious war in the comment section. "Thou shalt not judge, unless it's in a UA-cam comment section, in which case, go forth and tear that shit up..."
😂😂👍
😎 dude🤣😂😂😂😂😂🤣😂🤣💯👍
This is super funny until you realise that god would literally praise them for doing that lmaooo
@@MrMelonsz Doubt it. The biblical interpretation of god would, but the "real" god most certainly would not
😆😆😆
Wow, putting all these videos together makes me realize why some comedians are the greats. The way Chris Rock delivered his joke was very intellectual.
“Keep my gods name out your fuckin mouth!”
😂😂😂😂
nothing was intellectual about it the basis of the joke relies on a false information
@@akram9168 Ok
Similar to Science Fiction, comedy has the ability to address contraversial subjects with less scrutiny from the people of faith often in charge of sensing media.
Some bearded baby moonwalking across the lake throwing out bottomless buckets of shrimp 😂😂😭😭😭😭😭
In the Bible eating shrimp (any shellfish) is literally punishable by death.
What religion is that lol
@@christopherayettey4390 Christianity
@@BunnyBounce161 y'all are terrible lol
@@christopherayettey4390 ?
Jim Gaffigan “I think we got a bad connection” 😂😂 he’s always made me laugh so hard!
We'd love our son to see those shelves
@@Fixing_the_system that part was hilarious. In one of his standup shows, He talks about how him and his wife are catholic, so they don’t use birth control and They just had their 4th kid. So he goes, “you want to know what it’s like to have a 4th? Imagine you’re drowning and someone hands you a baby” 😂 I don’t know if you’ve watched his specials, but they’re all soo funny through the whole thing.
Could you catch me up which speech is his?
That bit and that special are an all time classic!
He cracked me up 🤣🤣
"Women gotta dress like ninjas"
Best. Line. Ever! 🤣🤣🤣
‘Those are the rules and were sticking to them’😂😂😂😂
🥷🥷🥷🥷
Nothing. Wrong with that
I relate to the Bill Burr story, not until i learnt about scientology and how crazy the stories are i was able to see some crazy things in my religion at the time.
I love his lines about letting his religion go like a curling stone and playing catch with his son and explaining religion.
Sarah Silverman also has a bit about “Ron”
Also very funny
The Bible itself is full of ridiculous stories. You can't take those stories literally at all. Virgin birth, a man swallowed by a Whale and lived, a talking snake, talking donkey, insecure, narcissistic Tyrant of a God.
L Ron Hubbard was a garden variety con man who started out writing shitty science fiction. You’re welcome.
Expand zero into good and evil and you get religion.
If everyone believed in reincarnation we would take care of the planet and treat each other better. The animals too. U don't need organized religion to be a spiritual person
Belief in reincarnation is fine butlinking it to karma... nope
@@RAIRADIO karma usually isn't described well. But from near death experiencers and people during past life regressions; they say people choose their parents and lives and choose a lesson or experience. So if u die before that u can choose to come back n finish it. Also even killers and atheists are let into the light if they want it. The balance of karma comes I believe when u have ur life review. They say u experience all the joy and all the pain ur actions and caused to other people. Even in ways u were unaware of...
@@RAIRADIO I'm curious in what way do u believe there is no karma? Because i believe karma doesn't always happen in real time.
Near death experiences will change the world as we know it. Slowly but surely.
Fuck the animals bruin having a bacon cheese sandwich as we speak 😂🥓😂
"Women gotta dress like Ninjas".... Legend
I will be forever grateful to the co-worker who told me about Bill Burr back in the 1990s. We went to see his show at The Fillmore in San Francisco, and he had to assist me when it was time to leave. I’d never heard anyone so unrelentingly hilarious, and I was barely able to walk because I’d cracked a rib laughing. While all of the performers in this video are excellent, there is something about Bill Burr that sets him apart.
Bull burr is the fuckin best. I don't even know how I can describe him.
Hes crazy
Truer words never spoken! His dad was the dentist 🦷 of one of my employees-front row seats to at least 3 of his shoes in and around Boston Ma, where he’s front. He never disappoints! I believe I’ve seen everything he’s ever released and all of them are hilarious. You laugh so damn hard your cheeks hurt. What sets him apart is his intelligence. He has an intellectual observation behind every joke. His improv is amazing! 😂
the way he spells it out just makes more sense. how can you not agree!
Everyone thinks Bill Burr is hysterical but yet he’s somehow still underrated
16:20 Good point by Chris Rock. The most religious among us are always telling us that their deity is almighty and all-powerful. But if somebody draws a cartoon of him or questions him, then suddenly Mr Omnipotent is frail and vulnerable. He feels threatened. His human worshippers have to gang up on the blasphemer to protect him. They suddenly have very little faith in his indestructibility.
I think that they call them Christians?u
@@karenjensen6642 karen moment lol 😂
Says the people who throw tantrums if you misgender them.😂😂😂😂😂
I know I have a dick, but I'm Michelle not Michael.😂😂😂😂
Just stop and find Jesus.
I am from the Middle East and I approve this message 😉😂
@@karenjensen6642 🤡
"Throw your problems on the ground!
Now pick them back up!"
Man, that's some great $hit right there
Growing up in an evangelical home has made me an atheist
The more you try to control someone, the more it drives them away... isn't it ironic, don't you think?
Same! Thanks, par'nts!
Yep, and going to a Xtian university. The more I asked questions the closer to atheism I grew. Much happier and less culty nowadays.
How would Jesus vote
@@roncrocker1343fictional characters don’t vote
" I'm trying to find God before God finds me" lol
35:00
always grew up buddhist, watching this is so crazy to me cause i had no idea what christianity was like before watching this
This is satire...😂
@@alexmartin1006 lol ik everyones exaggerating its just ssso crazy how it's probably 10% true
@@billionhappy religion certainly has it's comical moments... I think God has a sense of humour too 😉
You are fortunate
It's a joke Christianity is not like that
Grew up in a mostly black pentecostal church. Lavelle had me in TEARS! 🤣
Too true 🤣🤣🤣
@@azahias9"AND THE BIBLE SAYS....." LOL
He makes me reasonably happy
as a muslim i know that this ex Muslims, ex Christians, ex Jews etc are enslaved by their own desire, they worship their desire, they obey their desire, they make their desire as their god
@@selaluoposisisiapapunpresi7982 Oh the horror, people depending on themselves, what a tragedy
I've always had trouble with the "Jesus is my friend" part. A good friend would not expect me to visit him on a weekly basis at set time for boring activities only he enjoys. I have a mother to expect that of me and we don't even see each other that often. Therefore, I haven't been to church in 15 years except for weddings and funerals.
Crap are you saying my kids don't like Mama's activities? Lmao
@@bella3775 not doing something that My parents asked me to do is inconceivable?
You don’t have to go to church to be in the presence of the Father.
A friend wouldn’t expect you to give him 10% of you earnings.
@@elfcounsul Jesus doesn't expect that because He doesn't use or need money. Tithe is for the priest, ppl working and needy in the church.
Bill Burr talking about Scientology had me rolling talking about his name was ron, he had a drivers license and theres footage of him stubbing his toe 🤣🤣
It takes a real talent to mess up a joke, say you messed it up, tell it again with the same punch line, and still kill it.
18:42 -- Meanwhile, in an Italian catholic environment, you just stop at Mary because why waste time with the kid when you can just go straight to his mother?
Kathleen is too accurate with the not bothering Jesus.
"Where my problems at, has anybody seen my problems ?" 🤣🤣🤣
*Brother, brother, brother, brother what kind of sandwich is that" - Mike Epps
😂😂😂
I’m just curious but does anybody think he meant Islam instead of Muslim? I’m jw and open on some education cause I get those two mixed up.
@@Mar032891 Isn't a Muslim a practitioner of Islam?
@@Mar032891 a muslim is a believer of islam
@@Big-BossX whaaaaaat???
Standup comedians are modern-day philosophers.
No.
Them and the actual philosophers that are still around
@@driveasandwich6734 no.
George Carlin.
I like studying the Prophet George Carlin
Was raised Catholic so those Catholic jokes be hitting harder for me 🤣🤣
I nearly thought I had laughed well until Mike Epps came and delivered the last two bits. Just couldn't held my laughter
"The day I chose humanity over religion."
👍👍
Kendrick Lamar
Yes
And common sense.
Genius
The Christian guilt makes me scared that I'm laughing so hard.
Me too 😂
Same 👀
Me too and I’m a Muslim 😂
I left Christianity a few months ago and I haven't felt more free. Black folks love Jesus more than anybody and more shit happens to us than anyone. Abrahamic religions are not for my people but do you.
Just let it go like a curling stone
“Can I build you 2 boats?!”
That was my favorite!
“Jesus had a lot of white friends.” 🤣
29:13 The transition from Jeselnik mocking Christian Science to Ellen narrating her experience as a Christian Scientist was a nice touch.
23:53 Bill Burr laid out the manifesto for many adults who were raised Christians and turned atheists.
i love jeselnik, he so handsome.
How the F*ck you call yourself a Christian “scientist “……when you don’t believe in science 🤦🏾♂️. Is like saying I’m a Christian saver when all you do is kill for Jesus …
Mmm that’s a brilliant break down, and so valid! very well put!
not necessarily atheists, maybe agnostic..
@@damovanb oh come on man take the plunge be atheist stop lying to yourself the other 80% of u in the water plug your nose and go under
I'm not religious, just spiritual. Thank you Netflix for being impartial. You give everyone a voice and I will always support you.
There are bad spirits too.
...it's not too late to educate yourself out of ignorance...
ua-cam.com/video/bwCVitUVkP8/v-deo.htmlsi=H8Tsjap7hTFm1_5O
I have friends who are Catholic. I went to a Mass once. It started at 9:00am, by 9:45, we were OUTTA THERE! Go to a Black Baptist Church at 9:00am...If you're lucky, you'll be out of there by 2:00pm! And that's a slow Sunday!!!
Mass typically lasts almost exactly an hour because it follows the Liturgy, which is a daily planned routine the clergy have instructions for for each day of the year.
Protestant churches don’t have much structure and mostly just wing it, so (no pun intended) God help you if the pastor/preacher is particularly jazzed up that day!
The guy at 32:20 deserves way more laughs then he got. He was on point about those rules and he is hilarious.
Yes, very funny. I don’t think people understood the “myrrh” reference.
This sums up every Sunday spent at church against my will.
"Catholic mass is the longest experience of your life." Mormons enter the chat.....
I was gonna say that lmao
How long does it last? I remember being kid and pissed I have to miss two or three of my shows for Catholic mass with my parents
@@rosa3299 2 hours, but it used to be 3 until like 3 years ago
How long the Mass is depends on what language you are having Mass in. It’s only about 1 hour in English here in my town. Latin Mass is 2 hours.
A guy accidentally drank holy water with his laxative. Now he's going to have a religious movement.
Got caught with a ham sandwich the third day in it 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
If religion sounds just silly. is because it is
I really needed this Netflix comedy about "sensitive" topics...
Thank 'God' for humor
When people say "women just aren't as funny as men", I show them Kathleen Madigan. Her "don't bother Jesus" rules this compilation. And btw Paula Poundstone rules too!
The guys at 23:54 min in speaks the truth!
So many of these are so good!!!! Tanks for putting this together!
Tip write the time like this 👉 4:00 and 24:00 it automatically creates a link
@@Puyax01 thanks
He's the great Billiam Burress.
My guy Gaffigan complaining about the length of catholic church; he should try sitting through a whole ass Pentecostal service! You can literally witness the change of the seasons omg🤣
Or try a damn Mormon service lol
I've been to one once😭😭😭I said " nawl, we shall be Baptist at the least" 😂
I was legit wondering what the fuck he was talking about. From everything that I'd heard to date, they are in and out within 1 hour flat.
They told me I was catholic when I was a kid. Made me go to Sunday school on Saturday Morning (Cartoon Time)!!!
So you see, their plan was doomed from the start.
Who is the guy on the cross?
Jesus.
Nailed it.
If Jesus was a good carpenter, then he wouldn't have had to pretend he was a son of god.
"Going to church at Golden Corral.. I would go to church every Sunday."
You basically described , superficially, how Santeros and Santeras do worship. There are always food, drinks and cigars involved, and lots of music. Definitely not going to waste the dead chickens, goats, etc. The point is some of the rituals involves feeding people after first letting God and the Orishas eat first... and some of these rituals look like massive buffets that would put Golden Corral to shame. In Santeria there are times in which the buffets are days long. No one goes hungry... that's for sure. In fact, sharing the food with your community is how you will receive blessings from God, and the Orishas.
Wait! U have my attention! Where do I sign up?
I love Kathleen Madigan! An all time favorite!
As if it wasn't unbelievable enough, scientology s founder was a science fiction story writer.
I'm agnostic, I was raised Lutheran and Buddhist, and my girlfriend is Catholic. And like that serious overseas Catholic. And since we want children that means I'm essentially gonna be Catholic-lite.
Catholic-lite 💀💀💀💀💀
I was an agnostic buddhist now after watching all these past life regressions and near death experience videos I'm a Buddhist who believes in the source
Zzz ItD
Or Catholic(k)ish.
@@realtalk5329 I had 3 near-death experiences in my childhood. They were all extremely positive experiences and identical. It gave me the benefit of getting to walk through life with a much stronger grasp on what comes next compared to most. I wanna compare those experiences to (legal) psychedelics one day. I personally believe NDEs and psychedelics are the basis of all major world religions. I still practice Shinto-Buddhism rituals but I'm agnostic to all of it. The labels don't matter to me. What matters is knowing I'll be connected to all humans for eternity without pain after this life.
Bill Burr’s story is so much like mine. I was a fundamentalist. But I had to just let go.
Chris Rock had it spot on though, your only going to Church if you don't trust that God's got you regardless
Meh. It's been a very long time since I've smiled - much less laughed - at anything Chris Rock said, & this video did not come close to breaking that streak.
Why should any religious person believe that, regardless of anything a person does, "God's got you regardless" of how many commandments you break? Sure thing! Listen to Chris Rock, & do all the murdering, stealing, & cheating on your partner with another person in an exclusive relationship you want & don't bother apologising or repenting.
Chris Rock may be fine with you but there's no religion anwhere that will tell you that you can do whatever you want & that it's all going to be okay.
Yeah or you're learning about whatever stuff they actually believin in
BILL BURR killed it among all those jokes portrayed here
Religion has actually convince people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do every minute of every day and the invisible man has a list of things HE DOES NOT WANT YOU TO DO and if you do any of these things he will send you in a olace full of fire and smoking and torture for you to live forever and ever till the end of time, but He loves you, He loves You, He loves You and He needs money, He always need money
George Carlin
Bill Burr is the funniest comedian of my lifetime! Period!!
That transition from 12:10 to 12:35 is so good
I gotta say, for those comedians who said there’s no white dudes called Jesus, they’ve clearly not been to Spain
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Jesus, if he existed he was middle eastern anyway; not the fantasy that “claimed” it to be. In fact; if he were to come back I think these crazy Christia Nationalists would crucify him all over again 😂😂
Mesopotamia is very very far away from Spain. That's the entire point.
@@aphillyate1 Latinoamerica is much farther from Mesopotamia than Spain, and besides that wasn’t the point of their jokes.
@@adaynadir but it was the point of mine. 😉
Bill Burr is just superior to other comedians😂
That Chris Rock bit really slaps....
Keep my wife's name.....!!!
It was a GI JANE joke...
Ow..okayy
Proud Black Atheist from the south!
This was very funny!
Man are you a RARE bird.
Same here. You are a brave soul
Good for you
Hey guy, D.C. BLACK ATHEIST HERE!!
Haven't met a black atheist 😆
I love Chris Rock, but Bill is a genius.
both are geniuses
God wrote the book on gaslighting
The reason they circumcised in ancient times is because the skin sometimes tightens like a tight rubber band and prevents men from having sex when they are full grown since it is obviously very painful. This happened to my husband who was born at home in a snow storm and in the military he had to have surgery to fix the problem. It might be safer now with better medical procedures but back then he had to be constantly under supervision to prevent him from bleeding out until he was released a long time later. They were given drugs to prevent erection but that was not 100% effective and he tore the stitches and had to be rushed back for repairs. I feel sorry for the guys who have to get the surgery as adults.
I almost died in a very painful way because of that condition. I had to under go traditional circumcision(tribal things in Africa) and it started a chain of events that would happen over time, almost leading to certain death. I survived, I passed the traditional circumcision ceremony without any complications that I know of and I can say that proudly because I am officially a man in my tribe, and I am proud of that. I could never explain or put into words the pain I had to go through to untighten the rubber band without using medical surgery. One of my first attempts was using my urine by holding it in hopes of widening or stretching the rubber band, I went through that painful process for hours, and what happen after is a nightmare of days and months to follow I will not go into detail to because I respect my culture. It is taboo to speak about this practice and I honestly believe this alone has been the root to the causes of many deaths and mutilations of young men from my tribe who go through the same practice. I honestly believe many young men from my tribe have died or got mutilated due to this condition and having to undergo traditional circumcision straight after. I was lucky, so lucky I sometimes I think my ancestors had something to do with me surviving. I made me appreciate life even more. This proves tribal beliefs and tradition can be just as dangerous as religious beliefs.
Masses in Europe don’t get circumcised and this condition your husband went through is extremely rare.
I didn't have circumcision for my son...just have to keep the hygiene up to par.
Living life as a circumsized man is much easier in general than uncircumcised. It’s best to have the doctor circumsize at birth.
19:00 Kathleen at the top of her comedian game! Love her 🤣❤🤣
I imagined a baby in a flowy robe, long uncombed hair and beard, standing on water filling buckets with shrimps and throwing it off towards people
Same. 🤷🏻♀️
never loved chris rock more than this, his bit was amazing in this
I am NOT an atheist.
BUT my problem is I DON'T UNDERSTAND the WAY GOD WORKS. Why does He allow pain/suffering/agony? WHY!
Yeah it doesn’t make any sense for an all loving god it’s so fucking stupid I would never let that horrific shit happen to my creation it’s fucked up.
From this video now I get why my friend was surprised that I went to church and no one forced me since my parents didn't go to church.
That's facinaing. 🥲
If you don't mind me asking, why & where did you attend?? 🕊️
@@Tiffany_3x I attended in South Africa, I just love hearing about the word of God the bible has some good stories. The pastor loved to explain what a verse meant to a tea. I didn't fit in much when I was younger (I probably still don't) so church was great because they share the similar values like you. The worship team was great too they sang from the heart and made sure they practised and put out a show for us.
i am 70 and grew up in Los Angeles and went to catholic school. didn't really think about it much. just did ,as my parents wished me to. i developed a big crush on a girl who went to public school, and went to church with her family. i began riding my bicycle to mass at 9:45, so i could sit in the pew behind her. we had a mutual friend so she knew me. when the service was over they went out one exit and i went out another so we would cross paths. as i approached them i said hello to her parents and smiled at her as she passed. we moved south the next year and without her i saw no point in going to mass again. i was in it for Linda Barresi . . . . . . . . .
Aw. That's a sad story. 😔
@@musicsansnotes thanks. a few years later when i was in colkege at UCLA i met my friends wife who was Linda's best friend in high school. she told me that Linda had married and divorced but didn't know where she lived. not long after she divorced my friend.
at least i have the memory of Linda and playing games in the summer at Stag Strret grade school
hell yeah
That’s a wonderful story. Sounds like the start to a movie.
23:55 I have to say that I totally agree with Bill Burr once again.
I'm an atheist now, but growing up Catholic I used to lie in confession because I sincerely thought it was a trap and they'd tell my parents anything i told them and I'd get in trouble.
I've never done a confession... Catholics are so odd, they want you to confess to a stranger and drink blood and flesh of someone ... Absolutely not
You lie in confession and just add 1 lie to your list of sins. Comes out in the wash
@@paulinetsai 😂🤣😂🤣😂 the disapproval of your imaginary friend is no concern to me
@@KingBrandonm it was a poor attempt at humor from catholic school
@@paulinetsai Never went to Catholic school thankfully, just Sunday school.
Bill Burr is this Black man's story 100%. I simply, let all that mind control, that conditioning, fadeeeeeee away. LOL I've been happier ever since! :)
"The new Pope isn't even Catholic" 😂😂
Religion is the most comical element of society, I love seeing comedians tee off on it!
8:06 didn't know that Huel from Breaking Bad actually doing stand-up
Religion: No body Modifications!
Also Religion: circumcisions.
It was meant to be a health code. They probably didn't bathe often and may be didn't clean their bits well so cutting it off to avoid infections like smegma made sense.
@@2late4date people also didn't brush their teeth some time ago,I don't see any teeth modifications
@@2late4date how it that every creature exist just the way they are with all their natural biological feature intact
BUT
We humans are the one who found some flaw in our normal physical biology that it became acceptable to multilate each other?
@@pamoweiberezi5315 I assume that's because you need your teeth to chew.
@@pamoweiberezi5315 they didn’t use brushes but I am pretty sure they cleaned them still
Bill Burr has me laughing out loud!! He has it all wrapped up!!
If their religion offers you Kool-Aid don't drink the Kool-Aid
"Pretty sure it's gone myrrh at this point" LMAO. Haven't laughed that hard in awhile!
My hot take about religion is that the bible is technically a fanfiction
I love how they say I am barely or not extreme religious and it is now a thing.
I'm 1/16 Catholic with a dash of judaism. Dip that in astrology.
"Cause we hate vampires". Hahahaha! god bless
"I am basically trying to find God before he finds me..."
"Let go of the shit. Just let go."
Chris Rock brought up a point similar to George Carlin on the concept of God needing help from humanity, if he's really an all-powerful being, why would he need help/money?
George Carlin did it best. Lol
That dude was hilarious.
The 2:17 joke is gold, perfect pun
What a ride. Laughed my ass off. Shared the shit out of it ! Now everybody's laughin', I hope.
32:23 this guy has the best breakdown of Biblical law.
I was the only person in my family to ever regularly go to church. To be fair, what 8 year old is gonna turn down a damn free pizza party/lock-in (great name that-in retrospect🙄), and free candy, coffee(yes,8, coffee, great combo🤦🏼)and all those pastor's daughters in the teen years? "Ah, memories."
Valid point Chris!!
This kind of Laughter was good for me, couldn't think of nothing else cause I was LMAO🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂 EVERY Comedian; EVERYONE of them had me holdin my Side😂😂😂😂😂!!!!
19:30. "I'm sorry, father, but I do not recall, and I need an attorney." 😂
Discovering comedians through this video. Thank you.