Cheater Wants Forgiveness Saying The Affair "Saved Her Life"
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- Опубліковано 8 вер 2024
- At first I thought all I was seeing was plain old regular partner shaming.
I had no idea the can of worms I had just opened.
So let's face it: Could you forgive a cheater if they were sorry?
What if they told you they don't regret any of it and that they loved the way it felt?
What if they wrote a song about it and filmed multiple videos about it outside of various churches within the community?
Thanks for trying to follow along with me. I'm lost too.
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"Only God can judge me"
Given what the bible has to say about cheaters, are you _absolutely sure_ that's what you want?
Given she's caked up like a prostitute while filming outside random churches for attention on the internet, I'm not sure she knows what the bible has to say about anything.
Heh. The bible belt is FULL of cheaters because DIVORCE is the greater sin, apparently.
Forget cheating think about what it says about just lusting in your head about others jesus litterally says cut off body parts that make you sin, so say goodbye to being able bodied.
I always found that one hilarious. Like God is going to be more lenient with you than public opinion.
"And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell."
Matthew 10:28
Not to mention that the whole “don’t judge me” or “only God can judge” thing is super out of context.
Read literally one verse before/after and it’s saying that the measure by which you judge others is the one which will be used against you. Nowhere does it say not to judge outright, but rather if you’re going to cast judgment, make sure your own life is in check first.
"I cheated, I enjoyed every moment of it, it was great physically and emotionally and he made me feel things you never have and never will. Oh, but please forgive me, I'm really sorry I promise." Yeah no
thought you gonna go the "I liked it" speech over there
You're saying everything I was too shocked to,WHY IS SHE THERE!? I hope the guy has family that see what's happening & PULLS him out of the dumpster fire that is her! 👊💪Be strong and ROLL OUT!
you forgot the final part "I'm really sorry i promise... i would miss your money way too much."
True, If that's how you feel have fun when he find the crazy that got too much support in your last relationship. Most people don't let it slide.
This is how I think the talk about affairs saving lives should go
Her: "The affair saved my life"
Him: "Same here" -> Walks away
vitamin D deficiency is a major killer of women worldwide lol
I totally agree with that sentiment
"Im uncomfortable at this dinner with people i dont know, so im gonna set up my phone and constantly stare at it, so people will definitely think im a completely unsociable rude person who'd rather be on her phone than talk to them." 10/10 logic
@evanconnor7600 Probably to hang out with exes and **** buddies that she never let go of, while gaslighting him and telling him he's just jealous paranoid. She needs to go back to the streets
@@evanconnor7600yeah that's what i was thinking
Yeah, I would just ignore someone doing that aswell :& not because I had anything against them, but because it gives the impression they don't want to interact
She also blamed him for it, said she would leave him for it, and said that she was no longer attracted to him because of it... WHEN IT WAS HER THAT REFUSED TO ENGAGE IN THE CONVERSATION!
These things always remind me of a quote by Quinn Morgendorffer: "I mean, I like being attractive and popular. It's, like, me, okay? So if Dr. Shar makes everyone else attractive and popular, then I'll have to be even more attractive just to keep up, and then if they, like, go back her to catch up to me, then I'll have to go back, and pretty soon it'll be like one of those vicious things! Where will it end Daria? Where will it end?"
She cheats on her husband and justifies it, but gets upset because he doesn't appreciate the coffee enough. She should teach a class in gaslighting.
Frankly she should have the hot coffee thrown in her face
A cheating partner is the most disgusting thing to me.
I don’t think cheating looks great on anybody really
Why not cheating men? Cheating is vile no matter who does it
@@thedadvocate but almost half of human population does it for some fcking reason.
@@thoughtfuldevil6069 yes
@@thoughtfuldevil6069 Why did you assume OP's statement was gender bias? OP never mentioned gender. OP stated clearly that cheating is disgusting, period. No mention of men, women, sex, or gender. You brought it up. Why?
“The Church thought it was bad that I cheated on my husband.”
Yes. And that’s a good thing.
I think it's fair to say she is a wretched, poisonous person who blames others for her own mistakes. All of these attempts at making up are actually putting the blame on the victim and public, for the support of strangers rather than for her husband and their family, to shame him so she can feel justified to do it again. I would ostracize her.
She's a rat. Moving on
I don’t think you’re entirely wrong, but I do think that for the sake of all who encounter her in the future, it would be good to put a little effort towards pointing her in the direction of self improvement. A person who chronically blames others for their own actions pretty clearly has some emotional issues to work out, and most people aren’t self aware enough to notice that in themselves without prompting. So, especially if you intend to cut someone off, it’s usually best to tell them what you think is wrong with them before you do. On the one hand, if you’ll never see them again you don’t have to worry too much about offending them and on the other hand, there’s some chance they may internalize it and begin trying to correct it.
@@Rms2015 Well, you make a reasonable point IF she was a child. However, she is an adult and seeking validation from complete strangers, for her reprehensible behavior, is NOT a fixable problem on her husband's end.
It is a pattern of emotional manipulation and it's abusive to her entire family. She requires deep psychological therapy and completely avoiding her manipulations is the only way her husband and their family can heal from her abusive patterns. Confronting her will not end well for any of her victims but it will end up validating her deranged world view because it still gives her the attention she desires.
If you've been repeatedly stabbed, you don't heal by stabbing yourself again, you get away from the knife and completely avoid getting stabbed in the future.
No one can help her but her.
@@snarzetax I'm not saying he has an obligation to stick around or make sure she starts making changes; I'm saying it would be good to point out the problem before leaving. If he could do that in a way that doesn't leave room for her to reply and manipulate him, all the better. I'd recommend sending a letter from a PO box or something similar, since people are more likely to take words in a handwritten letter to heart than if those same words are delivered in person, and sending a reply to a PO box is pointless enough to make most people not bother. But it's precisely because she'll require a lot of therapy that she should be alerted to the problem. Someone like that will probably need several pointers before they start to see their behavior as problematic, so unless it would present a danger to him to do it, it would be good to point out. I mean, even if she were here, now, reading these comments, it's very unlikely that she would pay any attention since, after all, I know almost nothing about her, so my evaluation of her mental state has no value to her (or anyone, if I'm honest). But for her (ex)-husband to point it out will carry a lot of weight should she ever gain enough distance from the situation to reflect
@@Rms2015 IMHO that sounds more like something she should seek professional help for, rather than something her acquaintances can really help with.
I still don't understand why women think that emotional cheating and physical cheating is any different. Cheating is cheating!
Yup women are emotional beings so when they say it didn't mean anything it's pure bs. Women don't sleep with anyone unless there's some sort of emotions getting triggered.
But I tell you that any man who looks on a woman in order to lust after her has already committed adultery in his heart.
Matthew 5:28
@@lilchristuten7568 I was sorely, sorely, sorely tempted once upon a time (and straying would of course have been inexcusable) and reached out to a relative I was sure would say "that's awful, don't do that" and generally point me back to the path of right.
The relative quoted Matthew, said I'd already committed the sin and I may as well go for it because the damage was already done.
I ended up NOT straying, but no thanks to that relative.
@@brucewayne5140
Someone looking to justify their sin will use any excuse.
@@lilchristuten7568 You did see where I opted out, right?
She said the affair saved her life and she's writing songs about how important it was to her. That's not the behavior of someone who is truly remorseful, so why would the Husband forgive her?
That's what is mind blowing about women like this. She EXPECTS forgiveness... yet ALL of her behavior is this narcissistic nonsense where she does nothing but justify her abhorrent decisions. It's equally mind blowing that so many woman flock to her side and say shit like "slay queen". I saw some poor simp in the comments begging her to let him know what to do to get with her. Like... what??!!
@@Tigatron1448 more reasons to stay single. And you calling anyone is a simp is comical. Thats your bretheren, be nicer to him
@@jimmusthegrimmace Your ignorance is showing again sir. Supporting men who want to be in a relationship isn't being a simp. It's still shocking how highly you think of yourself and you age old experience when you behave like such a child.
@@Tigatron1448 no, ignoring facts to support bad habits makes you a simp which again, shows you should be nicer to the rest of the simps out there, youre one of them. I said i would call out misinformation and since youve disproven quite literally nothing ive said, the only child is you. I asked for upsides, you gave none, you agreed with the stats i gave that showed the downsides and still call others children for not letting you lie to them. Again, another case of your self absorption.
@@Tigatron1448 well? Wheres that misinformation you claimed i had? You talk a big game and dont even have the right jersey on. Im waiting boy
"no one may know the pain and suffering she was feeling, she could have been suffering in silence in her marriage"
Okay. Solution: Sit down with husband and talk about it or leave instead of lying, making every part of what I just said considerably harder and more emotionally charged (and ending up having to do it anyway), and betraying the one person in the world who is bound by contract to count on you and allow you to count on him.
I will judge a cheater because cheating is such a thoughtless, impulsive, stupid thing to do... and for what?
"Instead of talking, I think I need to lure some freak to heal me with his penis in front of the lord or whatever."
if you check the words she picked so carefully you'll notice she never actually said she suffered or that any of that applied to her. just that if it did you'd never know, my money is on "didn't apply" given how absurd the rest of her shit is.
everyone has a sob story. i am not obligated to neglect my sob story for your sob story. if you need help, ask? we work from there
for what? well she had wonderful exciting emotional experiences that her husband never gave her. 🤷♂️
Cheating is stupid tho. At that point file for divorce…
Cheating really tells that the person is all about preferring instant gratification and that they are above putting in some work to make a relationship work.
"Only God can judge a woman who cheats on her husband."
As a practicing Christian; watch me do it anyway lmao.
actually doesn't the bible have explicit instructions on judgement and punishment of a cheating wife? Which would mean that's not God's domain but man's responsibility complete hand book.
I mean, even if only God can do it, I've given the bible a few reads as a Pagan, and I'm pretty sure Adultery is harshly punished, or at the very least judged very terribly.
@@HauntingSpectre yeah, I'm in the same boat which is why I can't tell you what the punishment is but I have clear recollections of there being a punishment listed for adultery.
@@shadowalkerwho I'm no expert, so don't quote me on this, but to my knowledge adulterers in biblical times were either ostracized from society or straight up stoned to death.
@@venomsnekko stoning wasn't always to death but it was a pretty popular punishment and used for a lot of things. In most cases they were put into a pit and loosely buried up to a certain level depending on the crime and the gender and they were stoned until they managed to escape the pit or died. Buried to your knees was rough, but buried to your chest you were pretty much toast.
When you feel neglected, what you do is *talk to your spouse.* What you don't do is *cheat* 🤬🤬🤬
Relationships with due to the work put into the relationship. When someone isn't putting in work or the right kind of work and nothing is done to fix it, the ship will sink.
She wasn't feeling neglected, she was feeling upstaged by a man who was socially and financially more succesful than her. And instead of being happy she got such a man, she become bitter and jealous.
This is the cancer of modern feminism, to think you are competing with your partner instead of being a team.
@@peterpan4962 great points. These egotistical people should stay single.
But...it saved her life!!! 😮😂
@@MrColdIce83 LMAO.... of course!
Whether diagnosed or not it's kind of frightening how narcissists all seem to share the same hive mindy Borg behaviour and opinions.
Scary in one context, but look on the bright side. It makes dehumanizing them easier, which is the first step towards cleansing the Earth of them.
@@smh9902 cleansing via encouraging them to seek qualified mental health services and build their capacity to become better people?
@@smh9902based based based based
That is the typical TwatTok user.
and that all of them are on social media.
Maybe she’d be involved in the conversation if she wasn’t staring at her phone the whole time…
Imagine having a group conversation at dinner and one person wont stop staring at their phone. I’d also just not talk to them.
Agreed, i always make a big deal about no phones at the table unless you're showing everyone something, and when you're done showing, put it away and if you feel ignored by the group, then talk about it with YOUR HUSBAND as soon as you leave. If you feel you can't talk to him (about something so simple) then serve him the divorce papers and go on your merry way. Don't act dumb.
My ex wife moved out less than a week before my 32nd birthday and began sleeping around like her life depended on it, then when she claimed she was done doing that, begged me to take her back. My response was to move from where I lived on the coast of NC back to southeast KS and tell her to go ahead and file for the divorce because my mental health was worth more than that to me. I now identify that as the best birthday gift I've ever been given and the happiest moments of my life has been since then, because she's gone from my life.
Am I the only one watching this and wondering why she doesn't see how men could use these same arguments to justify cheating?
Funny how she's giving toxic guys a way to justify being jerks.
also ducks. don't forget ducks.
@@WaddleQwacker well quack, quack bub!
@@mdredheadguy1979 thanks. it means a lot.
I hate these lines saying an affair was a positive thing. "It made me a better person or better wife", "it saved my life" it just adds insult to injury.
i think you nailed it at the end, if she doesn't regret it she isn't sorry. this wasn't a spur of the moment crime of passion, this was premeditated infidelity, you don't come back from that.
She enjoys peace and security in her marriage but searches for excitement outside of it. That’s why she wants to come back, Chad isn’t going to commit.
What's the difference between wanting some side-D after a month of consideration rather than a single minute's worth? After a month's worth of thought she still decided to cheat? Or it only took her 30 seconds to go from being a loyal wife to a cheater? I wouldn't know which is worse.
A "crime of passion" isn't cheating. It's actually commiting a crime to avenge cheating. It used to be legal or considered a legal consideration in cases where one spouse murders another for cheating in a moment of absolute maniacle rage. Don't get it twisted. The two situations aren't the same and shouldn't be conflated. When you have an affair, you victimize the person you cheated on... though that opinion has fallen out of fashion.
As if a "spur of the moment" situation would be any better. You´re a friggin adult. Have some self restraint
@@ShadeScarecrow it IS better because it means you weren't thinking, it's much better than planning the infidelity, working to justify it in your mind, etc.
you may or may not have noticed the terminology i used is the same as the difference between third degree murder and first degree murder...it's still murder, it's still bad, but it's not AS bad.
Absolutely. Could I forget someone for a one time "I was drunk and they were super hot" mistake? Possibly, after enough time. But a long term affair with emotional entanglements? Absolutely not.
The first is a "weakness." You let your biology get the better of you and you fucked up. Terrible, but forgivable. But a long term affair involves a million little lies and repeated betrayals.
I don't forgive cheaters. That's how my mom ruined our family, and then turned the entire social circle and extended family we had against my dad. I always told myself I'd never marry after that.
Then the moment I met my own wife, my tuned changed. But my stance on cheaters hasn't changed - there is no forgiveness.
You don't get to make that decision for others because of your own trauma.
This! This is what begins a villain arc for men. She not only doesn't feel bad for stepping out on him, she is proud of it. Hell, I wouldn't blame the guy if he wanted to see their world burn.
I would never forgive a cheater. And it's effortless for me, if I get cheated on, all my feelings toward that person are gone almost immediately. Yeah, it hurts for a few days and then gets better. If you take a cheater back he/she will cheat again.
Dealing with absolutes and individuals doesn't hold water. I'm not saying you can't believe that, but not all cheaters will cheat again. People can do something bad, regret it, and change for the better.
@@PurplePotato_79cheaters are not worth the loss of water to spit on them.
@@PurplePotato_79whilst there are no absolutes, there may well be the black swan who can come back from cheating, you can never trust them again. If they did it once the probability of them doing it again are ridiculously high. A cheater is about 2-3x more likely to cheat again. Approx 25-30 of people cheat, 75% of those people cheat again.
@@arobidy You can think that. I just think people are too quick to divorce/leave and don't give thought to repairing a relationship, just like op. I'm not sympathetic to cheaters, but I also don't think they need to be treated inhumanely.
@@learntooilpaint Statistics never determine a specific example's result. There isn't a "75% chance" that your spouse who cheated will never cheat again.
I think the scenario would depend on how I would respond if I was cheated on. If they wanted to repair the relationship and wanted to change, it's different than someone with no regret.
It appears that she entered her marriage with the idea that it isn’t permanent.
and she probably wasn't fat then either
She stated the real problem in her 2nd Video: "I suffered in silence":
Communication is THE most important thing in a relationship. If you don't communicate, the relationship can't work in the long run.
That being said, nothing excuses cheating.
If you are unhappy in your relationship either try to fix it together with your partner or break it off, but do not break the trust put in you by getting boinked by somebody else. That shit does real damage.
Dang. Sooo recently my hubby had a work thing. I stayed off my phone and socialized no problem the whole time (imagine that). It might have helped I wasn’t making unpleasant faces 😂
About her showing up at his work with Starbucks… I wonder what he does and what was going on? Does he do a physical job? My hubby works in the Logistics department at the VA hospital… he runs around delivering things, and sometimes he’s swamped! I’d bet he’d be annoyed if I showed up randomly when he’s trying to run around in a rush! Sometimes you gotta use common sense.
and just because he new she was coming doesn't mean wanted or even asked her to come
Guarantee his coworkers all know she's a cheating hoe. That's why he didn't want her there. She got the impression that he was embarrassed because he *was*.
I bet she told him she was coming over and didn't ask if she should or not.
People like this woman are just vile honestly.
If you really want to have an affair with another person, just leave. The door is open.
If she leaves, that's just breaking up with you, not an affair
@@sinisterdesign correct.... that is the point.
Sounds to me like her man was icing her out because he already knew she was cheating.
I was cheated on and told it was my fault...and it's kind of hard to shake that mindset.
It wasn’t your fault. They lacked integrity, not your fault. If they were not happy they should of communicated or left.
Same happened to me. We went to counseling and it helped.
Same here. 11 times.
You'd have thought one of us would have figured things out sooner and walked away 🤣
@redtela then you are certainly the problem
It wasn't your fault. If something was your fault, they could have broken up with you, not cheated. Cheating is selfish.
Any bets on that woman being one of those "If he cheats on me, he's an a**hole, and if I cheat on him, he's the reason I cheated"?
"If she cheats, it's HIS fault; if he cheats, it's HIS fault!" The Instant Classic.
That line about the decline appreciation hurt because of a friendship I used to have. The last thing she said was "I'm not obligated to reply to you." forget the exact wording, but I double texted her because I thought she just didn't see the first one or saw it and couldn't immediately respond and forgot to later or something. The previous time we were supposed to hang out she didn't show at our agreed upon time, I shot her a message(30 minutes after we were to hang out) to see what was going on, and she was hanging out with some other friends and cancelled. So things were already going downhill
Huge entitled asshole behavior. I've had friends do the same--Itake it as a gift that they're showing me what shitty friends they are so I can invest time in people who actually deserve it.
This is something I never understood. My ex wife and I had even talked about how cheating on someone was one of the worst things you could do to them and that it would be far better to end the relationship before you cheated on them. She had been cheated on when she was in college and it was one of the most defining moments of her life. But that didn't stop her from an affair and cheating on me. Best part is that she blamed me for it as if trusting and having faith in her is someone a failing on my part. But yeah she tried to use the whole "it was either I slept with him or I killed myself" line on me. Like wtaf? How am I supposed to handle that? How is that even a thing?
Yep mine got cheated on previously too, was a big deal to her.. but she goes and cheats on me , tells me it is over ,as she is going to go have lunch with the new person in her life..even if she hadnt slept with them, i see the fact she moved on before telling me as cheating.
@@TimothySmiths It's amazing how they can justify being terrible people and avoid accountability
From my own experience I can say once that trust is broken you can't get it back. I tried to still love her, but never trusted her again so the relationship was done. The phrase "Once a cheater always a cheater" also proved to be true.
My father was a cheat. He would severely gaslight my mother, and was obsessive about where me and my brother were, in case he got found out. It would have been easier for everyone if my parents had just divorced. I don’t think my brother will ever get over the pain this caused throughout our childhood.
8:03 To answer her question, no. I don't think I could forgive under those circumstances. To quote a favorite story of mine, "forgiving the unrepentant is to be a sheep embracing a wolf." Why offer forgiveness for something she doesn't even pretend to regret?
"I laughed, how did he not know i was trying to get involved in the conversation?" feels like the next step up from "I reply to his messages the same day he sends them, how can he not tell i'm into him?"
Cheating is the lowest thing you can do.
Her: "People are ignoring me at this dinner where I'm filming myself being sour, like a weirdo. My husband is to blame!"
Me: This woman couldn't be any less accountable for her actions.
Her: "Hold my Starbucks"
I was cheated on, tried to forgive her. She said all the right things, and blamed her bipolar and changed medication. Somewhat plausibly too -- she did have a diagnosis and a disability pension related to it. She certainly wasn't twisting the knife telling me how great it was and how she doesn't regret it, like this cow. So I did my best to swallow the pain and get past it. But she cheated again of course -- they always do.
I don't think she has bipolar. I did a LOT of research on it in an effort to understand her better and support her properly, and also to get a sense of whether or not cheating was going to be an inevitable part of my life if I stayed with her. I didn't see any of the signs of bipolar other than cheating and reckless decisions, and those weren't accompanied by any sign of mania I could detect. I think it's far more likely she was on the antisocial personality disorder spectrum. It explained her reckless decisions, cheating and compulsive lying. I went through the DSM and she ticked every box.
Looking back, I'm livid at myself for staying with her so long. It wasn't until I realised that she wasn't the person she pretended to be that I could finally let go. I realised I didn't know the real her at all. I was engaged to a stranger. But since then I have sympathy for guys to stay too long in that sort of situation. I don't think guys are really evolved to fall out of love the way women are. That's why they move on so much faster than we do. But I have very strong opinions on it nonetheless. Don't take her back. She'll do it again. She may cry very convincingly and say all the right things, but that's just to get out of consequences she wasn't ready for...yet. Respect yourself. Cut her loose.
Sorry that happened. It might’ve been BPD. It works similarly but the mood swings aren’t as drastic. Part of it is being super impulsive so that might’ve been part of the cheating. Either way it’s possible for someone with BPD to work on themselves enough for their symptoms to be under control. She clearly wasn’t at that place.
@@ab-gail It wasn't BPD, she was presenting a completely different face to mutual friends than she was showing me. I don't think she had emotional lability at all. She'd also convinced her psychiatrist that I was ab..ive.
Looking back, I see signs that she might've been setting me up for charges. eg Wanting me to smack her hard enough to leave marks, and to take pics of it. Arranging for ab..se counselling with the two of us under the guise of couples counselling. Completely misrepresenting the nature of our relationship during those sessions, but always with plausible deniability. I'll never know for sure, but I think I got out of there before she was ready to pull the trigger. Our mutual friends were still mutual friends, I think that was her biggest impediment. She hadn't convinced them yet that I was a wacko who wouldn't leave even though she was begging me to.
And when she cheated one last time so I knew she wasn't going to change I got out fast and with minimum drama. She asked me to stay and I just shook my head. She looked disappointed but not in a way you might expect in that sort of scenario. More annoyed than anything. I think she was disappointed either that I was getting away before her plans were ready or that I wasn't flying off the handle in a way she could use.
Honestly my blood runs cold thinking about it. I had no idea what I was dealing with, even at the end. Things could've gone so much worse, and I wasn't in a fit state of mind to deal with that sort of thing. I'm just damn lucky really. I guess God loves a fool, ha.
@@jeffjones7108 How are we guys supposed not to get paranoid with shit like this? How do we get ready for another relationship after shit like this? I havent figured it out yet, did you?
@lothalan7049 No more relationships for me. It's been 5 years since I left and I haven't been lonely even once. She cured me.
@@lothalan7049Trust me, a relationship with mentally ill or plain EVIL person "cures" everyone from wanting to be with anyone.
Cheating is never an excuse. If the relationship is on the rocks, find a way to fix it with your partner. If it can't be fixed or your partner refuses to try, then get a divorce. Don't cheat. Two wrongs don't make a right because cheating leaves a stain that can ever be forgotten. I've seen some couples get back together and work things out after an affair but there was always this twinge of mistrust on the part of the other.
While that may be true, one thing I find horribly disgusting, and unfortunately it seems to only go one way, even though I would condemn it in either direction, is when the wife purposefully withholds sex and affection for I don't even fucking care why. That shit is evil and people who do it are more wretched than cheaters. They have only the benefit over a cheater that all they have to do is stop being a cunt and go back to giving of yourself willingly, like you're supposed to. Unfortunately, once a cheater cheats, they cannot undo their actions. That's the real tragedy. But that said, when it happens, the bitch deserved it. If she wants any sympathy from me, she can look for it in the dictionary. She'll be able to find it between "shit" and "syphilis".
@@mr.e1026I see that as much of a betrayal as cheating. Assuming one is ABLE to have sex, refusing sex with your partner on a regular basis (vs, not tonight, how about tomorrow night which isn't a refusal but a postponement) is no less a betrayal than is having sex with another.
The vow is to be their partner. It's not to be the partner of another or to NOT be your partner. Doing either of those is a betrayal of the vows taken.
@@buffuniballerABLE? how about wanting? Men and women ABLE to have sex may for many reasons not WANT IT. For many reasons. Nobody owes anyone fucking.
@@buffuniballer I make a huge distinction between willful withholding, and physical inability or postponement.
The primary difference is, saying "I want to, but not right now" or "I want to, but I just came off my 3rd round of chemo and I just don't have the ability" is worlds different; not even within the same universe as "I want you to buy me or no sex until I get it." Tow of those things still fall within the wedding vows; in particular, for better or for worse, and in sickness and in health. Extortion does not and will never.
One of the reasons I refuse to date is because I am capable of immediate withdrawal upon being withheld from EVEN ONCE. I don't like the monster of a person that makes me. The first and last time that occurred, I ended up fucking her sister that night. A bit excessive for retribution, but something I am clearly capable of. And yeah, the fact that the biggest culprit was the sister, and her inability to to find her sister's behavior toward me both repugnant, and something she would never do to me, yeah, that goes without saying, but I am taking responsibility for my actions, here, not hers. I just know, if you withhold from me even once, I will find someone else, and I will not hide it. I'd rather just not let Evil Mr. E out of the box.
I had a friend whose girlfriend cheated on him and he found out but took her back; she did it again, he found out and took her back; I told him: "At this point, if she cheats again, I'm not going to be sympathetic because you know that's who she is, now". She did, several more times, and finally she broke up with him after using him like a dishrag. He deserved better but he'd had his chances to back out and just never took them.
"That affair saved my life"
Me initialy : Maybe if we talk about decent human beings it's something along the line of "Alright, I really need that kidney of yours, what can I do to give it ? I'll do EVERYTHING." It OBVIOUSLY won't be that.
Me at the end : Yup, that's ridiculous. Forgiving a cheater is one thing, staying in love with one however...
this is why *at fault* divorce needs to make a big comeback.
and men should not be responsible for paying these women who cheat alimony.
"If she cheats, it's over. No exceptions."
Her: only god can judge me for cheating
God: you know one of my 10 biggest rules is "thou shall not commit adultery" right?
I think it's time for us as a society to acknowledge the devastating effects of social media addiction.
Her being uncomfortable at a dinner where he is paying attention to everyone at the table instead of just her is a testament to her immaturity, insecurity, and narcissism.
A hard never. It wasn't the first time she cheated it was just the first time you caught her.
"Absolutely pumped full of another man" 😂😂 internet quote of the day
Yes an affair CAN make things better...when you leave them behind and move on when they cheat. Seems about right to me!
Lil story.
My Step-Mother met a guy whilst married to my Dad during a work trip away. No prizes for guessing who was giving out a free ride to a coworker.
Then for the next year, she and her parents colluded to make my dad, me and my siblings (not her kids) as her miserable as possible. Getting irate over the smallest things, cooking barebones meals and specifically making things we didn’t like, never doing any of the chores. Then when it finally came to a head (that’s a much longer part of the story) she divorced my Dad saying he didn’t appreciate her cooking or anything else she did.
She then proceeded to take money off him every month for the next 10 years whilst leaving 31K debt on his head.
That’s horrible.
@@iggs67 thats a relatively fair divorce. The guy gets screwed.
If in a state where this is a law, your dad should have countered with a home wrecker suit.
I should add, and I know I’ll get shat on for saying this, but watching my Dad go through two ten-year relationships only to be reduced to mattress at my grandmother’s house and forced to rebuild himself over and over… Let’s just say I’m EXTREMELY wary of pursuing a relationship.
@@OmniscientWarrior We’re in the UK. It’s a similar story here where dad’s get screwed even if the mother is shown to be unfit.
I told my Dad at the time to take her to court but everything was in his name. She managed the finances. I now warn everyone not to leave the wife in sole charge of finances.
Thing is I have no idea when she started wracking up 31K debt but I assume it must have been that last year.
Forgiving cheating is… a complex issue. I personally don’t know if I could manage it. The betrayal in that is simply too personal and too willfully vicious.
Are there times when someone needs to get out of a marriage and finds a much better person they want to be with instead? Absolutely. Is it justified to cheat then? Before or after letting the first partner know one is leaving them? I don’t think I can say.
For most people who forgive cheating, it's desperation and manipulation.
They spend the relationship being told that they're lucky to have their partner and have their view warped to the point that the cheating was their fault, if they had just been better, done better etc etc. Then their partner wouldn't have "had" to cheat
That woman sounds very egocentric.
She only thinks about her own feelings and thoughts, without considering her partner.
Its all "she she she" "her her her", she claims she wants forgiveness and and no judgement but show no signs of remorse, infact she seems to revel in it
Could I forgive cheating, yes. Would I stay with the person who cheated, no. Is there any chance of us ever getting back together, absolutely not. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you allow them back in your life; just as you don’t always forgive someone for them, you have to forgive them for you. But you don’t owe them a second chance, and cutting them out of your life is something you also do for yourself.
It gives off very "im sorry YOU made me do that" vibes
The breakup or divorce doesn't kill my feelings, even a year later. Call it sentimentality. But the moment I know and can picture my ex being with someone else. I'll get so grossed out, that I'll instantly go cold with feelings and be over it, in a heartbeat.
I appreciate that you give her the benefit of a doubt, but that you react with honesty. I've been watching your stuff for hours this week, and I feel like you're fare in your assessments. I also feel like you do advocate for fathers, which I really appreciate. Thanks for not making me feel like it's all the man's fault.
You know, I'm not saying it would be okay but i could at least sympathize and understand where shes coming from... if she didn't get dolled up and set up a camera to record herself sad-mugging and pity posing for TikTok. It just takes out all feelings of sincerity and instead feels full on manipulative.
Once you break trust, that's it. Unless you see real repentance, there's not even a place to start over from.
So, breaking up with someone is frowned upon, but screwing around isn’t? She’s in full denial and excuse mode.
By the end of the video I was losing track of what was happening. It comes off as her complaining that he isn't forgiving her fast enough. If that's it, the only thing I can think is okay that's tough but you did it to yourself. Also as an ex church goer I can definitely say that I've seen her type before and I promise you she didn't have just one affair.
she did it to herself and she keeps pouring oil on fire hoping to get ice from it.
"I was in such a toxic relationship I had to cheat on him. Then I went back to him. And now I'm upset he doesn't want me."
The pretzel logic is beyond my ability to understand.
Wise man once said: "If she cheats, she belongs to the streets."
As an introvert, married to an extrovert, I have been in the position of being at a work function with my husband. I don't know anyone, they all are talking and good, and I feel left out. I also have a lot of mental health issues from growing up that make situations like that, make me feel, less then... However my husband does try to include me, or doesn't force me to attend. He also does recognise when I am uncomfortable and we have over the years developed key phrases we can use to let the other know, we are unhappy or uncomfortable without causing problems... like, asking, 'What time is (incert kids/pets name here) doctors appointment tomorrow?' You can use a dog, groomers appointemnt, or whatever works for you that you two choose before you leave for anything you go to, even the in-law's dinner... It says, I am not happy, I want to bail, are we done here? Without being a jerk, and it gives a good excuse why you ahve to go. Oh yeah, we have to be up early cause the dog is going to a new groomer and its like forty minutes away.
All we have is her side. I bet this isn't even real, it's all her psycho drama in her head that she's built a "brand" around. I bet her husband doesn't even know about any of this & someone should show him this video. Bet she wouldn't still be married after that.
If she is a cheating pos then she's clearly unrepentant & he's an idiot for staying.
“I had to cheat to save my life” sounds like a line out of a bad Hallmark movie or a high budget porno
There is that song about pina coladas lol
I actually have a piece of paper that when I’m feeling good about my partner I write down things I love about him. This is with the express purpose of looking at it when I’m irritated with him or forgot what I have to be grateful for in our relationship. And it works for those times and for just keeping those things at the front of my mind
In both of these husband "shaming" videos, I dont see any real evidence of the Husband doing any of the bullshit she is calming hes doing. Shes just starting at her phone, making stupid faces and putting text over it filled with her own agenda.
From what ive seen, the vast majority of times, when someone is cheating, they actively LOOK for problems to shame and blame the partner for to either justify their cheating, or deflect suspicion away from them so they are not found out (which if you are aware of this tactic, should INCREASE your suspicion that they are cheating or looking for an out.
And no.. Cheating partners are booted out of the relationship and the door.
If you're not ok , communicate (not just explode), if you can't or if it does not fix it... just walk away...
I could forgive someone for cheating on me, but if she told me that she was that much happier with him I would definitely offer her a divorce. I don't want to ever have to divorce my (maybe someday) wife, but honestly with how humiliated I would feel, especially after her parading how much better the affair was for her than her own husband? I might even demand a divorce.
Do not ever forgive a woman for cheating. Never. Men might cheat just for the physicality of it, and could easily forget the other woman and seriously repent for the better of his marriage. That is possible. But a woman who cheats is already highly emotionally connected to the other man, even if it was just a moment of passion. A man who cheats, his heart might still belong to his wife, and that relationship can be repaired. But if a woman cheats, NO part of her belongs to her man anymore and it never will.
Once my significant other feels like it's time to explore other intimate relations, it's over...
Wow that chicks video was so cringe. Your digging into the story was good
Dying at the "market stability" of videotaping in front of churches lmao 😂
This whole thing doesn't exactly scream Sincerity, to me.
Leaning towards thinking this was posted as a sad attempt to jump start her music career.
The church backgrounds are just a sad attempt at making people feel guilty for judging her.
I would suggest that if she ever goes back to church (if she ever attended in the first place), she might want to listen to the message.
He wasn’t thrilled that you brought him Starbucks. In fairness, he did ask for Dunkin’ Doughnuts.
What did you get me to watch?
So, my ex did this exact same thing. She thought talking and meeting up with other guys was helping her "find herself" (go figure, she was a sheltered child stuck between an abusive drunk narcissist of a dad and a washed out mother who didn't get the life she wanted so she projects on her one kid. It sometimes does things to a kid's head). It...did not work out well. She didn't didn't wanna keep fighting to escape the family, she wanted someone to come take her away from her bullshit life. My ex had a difficult childhood and the PTSD with her laundry list of medical problems, but when we were first together, she was willing to claw her way out. I was also working out my education situation (still working on that) and trying to hold side jobs down to make things a bit easier financially. One day, she just gave up. She got too tired of being sick, the all-over body pain that would sometimes make her unable to walk, and too tired of her bickering family. Very extreme, but I think the key takeaway is this. Whatever this lady's reasoning was, I'll bet you it has more to do with her past, however that manifested. And that is not her partner's problem, nor do I believe anyone should ever enter a relationship without knowing yourself first. That's irresponsible. I had to learn that the hard way from my ex.
If she cheated and is now gaslighting there is no going back.
Why people can't just take self accountability and say "I'm not happy with this situation" is beyond me. Cheating is never the answer.
"Why is she like giving me the 'f*ck me eyes' right outside the church right now?" - It was at this moment, my face had folded in on itself from the cringe of that tiktok.
She's not sorry, she's mad at being told to take personal responsibility.
Looking at all of these tiktoks and trying to visualize it in your mind from the perspective of being behind and away from the camera while she's doing it, really puts the narcissism on full blast.
Speaking as another Anthony:
My third girlfriend (of nearly 4 years, marriage was mentioned) picked my friend from high school who I had invited to stay with us, along with a crew of kids in our live-work warehouse... It hurt when she was lying about it. After honest and compassionate conversation, though, I was glad she had found what she wanted - and I learned more about what had been going on inside her head and heart during our relationship. Those two kids are STILL MARRIED, a decade and a half later! ...and, when I was Sh!t-Outta-Luck after my algorithm & company turned obsolete, they were the backstop, letting me crash in the cottage next to their house. We played Dungeons and Dragons together for months, and I rudely avoided helping with gardening like I said I would! THAT is love.
To the first clip: this happens with any mixing of friend groups, meeting new people, if you aren’t crazy social. There *will* be times where you feel awkward and aren’t sure how to participate. But you know what? That’s ok. It’s ok to listen. It’s ok to not be the center of attention.
Of course it’s nice when someone there actively tries to rope you in, but expecting that out of someone is not fair.
Man, if my girl cheated on me, told me it was emotional as well as physical, loved every bit of it, enjoyed it way more than anything with me, and then just was sorry then that 25 to life may not look too bad. That's just staring the guy in the eyes and rubbing salt slowly in the room and topped it with lemon juice then put a band aid on it and expecting that band aid to fix it all
I've seen a marriage recover from cheating, but the husband, the cheater, admitted 100% fault. He spoke not just to her, but to anyone affected, kith and kin alike. If there were any issues on her shoulders, they came out in therapy and were discovered by her. They're blessedly together today.
The affair seems to be only be about her... then saves her life? Sounds like so will cheat again without a second thought.
This chick was gaslighting herself so hard the price of propane skyrocketed
No shame, no forgiveness. And in particular, she appears to be taking a sadistic pleasure in his torment. "I'm sorry, let' me show it by whoring myself on the internet too!"
If she made more eye-contact with the people at the table rather than her cellphone, perhaps she would've been able to join the conversation.
I don't know that I'd forgive a cheating spouse. If she is this unsatisfied it's time to call it quits.
I love how she recorded her descent into depravity and narcissistic behavior that ultimately destroyed her marriage. The things that people sacrifice for clout never ceases to amaze me. The fact that people enable this behavior is spineless cowardice that only further degrades the situation. Disgusting.
The only time I could ever even consider forgiving her if my wife cheated on me is if she were blackout drunk when it happened, and she then never touched alcohol ever again.
As bizarre as it is I never dreamt anyone else would use that as logic behind infidelity.
I have a friend who used this as his reasoning.
In spite of his wife being willing to try and sort it out she did require that he stop. He lied and told her he had.
In the end she discovered the truth and has separated. I'm saddened by his refusal to accept responsibility and is punishing her by refusing to cooperate in a divorce. Sad.
I really want to see her poor husband going online and exposing all her disgusting behaviour. He must have suffered with such a person. Also, spreading all of this around her home and church. I'm sure there's a lot of ppl she pissed off and did dirty that can take it up with her.
No. Hard FRIGGING NO! If the relationship began with truth, love,respect and one partner decides screwing around is better than fighting for what you have...walk away. No mercy. No forgiveness. Just done.
I could speculate that in a situation where one side gets focused on things other than their partners and said partner cheating might remind them why they got together (and that they got together because of things they enjoy together instead of just happened to exist in the same street, school, college or workplace.)
I did cheat on my then girlfriend. We've been together 9 years now. I never tried to justify my actions because I knew they were unjust, and I never tried to hide it from her.
Cheating is one of the most awful things you can do to a person. Trying to turn it around and make them feel like they were the cause is just hurting them twice.
Weak people will scream in pain as they bludgeon you. We all have moments of weakness, but don't succumb to them, and do the right thing.
I will always regret what I've done. I will never make excuses. And I will never talk to women in close company if I don't absolutely have to again.
I think she just sat there recording this and when others asked he went "yeeeaaaah I know, she does this all the time. She's a rescue. You know how it is"
the only time I could imagine cheating being beneficial is if the cheater had massive doubts and was considering leaving already, and went out, and had such a shitty time dealing with other humans while cheating, that it led them to believe that their partner was their best choice in life for happiness. In this case the cheater says "omg he made me feel things partner never did"..