What's That Lord? Start Selling Buckets Of Apocalypse Gruel?
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- Опубліковано 26 сер 2017
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In this Majority Report clip, the Lord taught Jim Bakker a valuable lesson about fraud while he was in prison: just do it legally!
"If it's the future, and the end of the world is nigh, it's probably safe to assume that things are looking grim. If all you have to eat is the survivalist food you bought from televangelist Jim Bakker in 2015, then your situation may be considerably worse.
...
Jim Bakker is back, with a television ministry in Missouri and a wife named Lori. He's also selling food. Among the freeze-dried products available on his website is a 50-day "Survival Food" sampler bucket containing 154 meals. It will cost you $135, but the idea is that you'll be prepared when food shortages hit.
"Imagine - the world is dying and you're having a breakfast for kings," the ad for the the food proclaims."*
Read more here: www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2...
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This shit would make good episode of South Park.
From your mouth the the ears of the South Park producers! Jimmy would have a hissy fit temper tantrum, though, but that would be comedy gold.
cartman orders the bucket grande with his mums credit card
gets even more fatter within a week of eating the shit
they always forget that one of the first things you run out of in an apocalypse is WATER, lol
Facts
SNL couldn't have written a sketch funnier than this.
I think there's one thing we all can agree on, and that is, the years Jim spent in prison just weren't enough!
I have watched the Vic Berger compilation of Jim Bakker like 20 times. I cried of laughter and could not breathe the first time.
Wow
That's good
I know that video……especially around 36 minutes in! 😂🤣😂🤣
I feel bad for the people behind the scenes of shows like this that have to wade through hours of crap to find these hidden gems. This was the best part of my day...
You can shit in them once you've emptied the slop. Double the fun!
"Ah , ah , ah , ah , selling a lie , selling a lie"🎶
Good one!
Televangelism is based on the idea that the all powerful creator of the entire universe requires salesmen.
Literally not one person's life will ever be saved by one of these buckets.
Jim's extremely strong for such an old coot. The way he swings that bucket around as if it's empty?!
All those pushups, chin ups, and free weight lifts in the slammer did him good. XD
Vic Berger got tonnes of great edits of Jim Bakker.
Like Dog's tail could not be straighten. This guy Baker will not stop scamming people even though he was in prison for Scamming.
Every last person up there needs to be arrested for fraud...or better yet stupidity
At this point, I don't feel sorry for the people he scams. If they can't see through that, they are beyond stupid.
Just watch Vic Berger.... its justice
YES! That's how I got here 😂
The end is so nigh that you'll need 30 years of shelf life, obviously.
Ariel Valsagna Well, "nigh" is relative
I could not stop laughing when the singers stated to sing. 😂😂😂
"This is the first time in history there's been a thirty year shelf life." Apparently Jim has never had a chicken McNugget.
Barry Gibb should totally sue them for the making Staying Alive look bad
In prison Jimmy boy thought "this prison food is terrible!" Hmm maybe I can sell this crap when I get out?
I like the singer 04:36 "c'mon lets get excited, now. You know you like it. You know you're having fun" while they say the end of times is upon us :)))
That's actually the line she uses to pick up men at bus stops.
Scams and religion go together like peanut butter and jelly.
30 year shelf life....are we in the last days or not?
That would be a great Saturday Night Live skit.
I am an atheist but the thought of tele-evangelist I hope that I am wrong and God has an especially hot and uncomfortable spot in Hell for those awful people.
And this is where I'm in full agreement with atheists. Because of these TV clowns, most of the world thinks this is what Christianity is. 99% of TV preachers teach heresy or outright falsehoods. I'm surprised there aren't more atheists than there are.
If we're in the last days, why do we need food with a 30-yr shelf life?
Well, in their defense, the theory is that you buy it now while Jim is still alive and can profit from it and it will keep for the next thirty years. The problem is if the end times happen 31 years from now your screwed
Jim: (all gloomy, looking at a bucket like half of him just died) "I learned in prison.......end times.... end..........times.............." Lady: "Let's have some fun now!" lol, great stuff
I was Bakker’s band director. I have the real first hand information on exactly how he cons elderly peps out of their $. Willing to share what I know with you.
Good Lord tell it here!
DEETS PLZ
Looks like his daughter, Tammy Sue, who is singing at the end, has eaten too many of the buckets as it is. Also, how awful that he's pretty much telling the suckers buying the slop buckets that they will miss 'The Rapture' and will need all of that food in their bunker, you know, until the Antichrist finds them and cuts their heads off. lol
Praise the Lord. Give us this day our daily bucket. The singer looks like she has already polished off a few of those holy buckets.
Dude: And the years I spent in prison ....
Me: Holyyyy shit what a twist
You guys have missed out. There are videos where he suggests people make all of their household furniture out of these buckets, and cover them with cloths. It is quite hilarious.
hmm , he is trying to sell more bucket food - thats why .
Gee whiz, do ya really think so? Gosh.
What's the dif between the food bucket & poo bucket? The content looks the same! 😂
"Please, sir. Can I have some more?"
...notice the musicians faces..(the guy on the guitar in the red shirt CRACKS ME UP!)..."I'm gonna do this as long as the checks clear"!!! I'm telling you all, when I'm having a bad day, I KNOW I can pull this vid up and CRACK UP!!!! Sam n his crew are "SO FUNNY"!!! BTW..."STAYIN' ALIVE MONTHLY CLUB"?!?! ROTFL!!
A gig's a gig.
"I got my food... I'm staying alive...."
Jim Garrison Lololzzz...😂😂😂
Many of the people on his show could live off their body fat for quite some time
Yes
Jim It wasn’t God that woke you up......it was your cellmate
LOL.. to funny
This is one of my absolute all time favorite Majority Report clips. F’ing fantastic. It’s just too good.
If you think this is great search UA-cam- Vic Berger+Jim Bakker. Hilarious!
It’s one that I keep coming back to.
THis is Comedy GOLD!
This is one of my go to feel good Majority report videos. Always makes me laugh!
I am a Christian and this is soo insane.Sad he's deceiving these old ppl and putting fear in their hearts.The bible warns about buying and selling in the churches among other things.Sick people who should be locked up!!!
I bought 3 sets of these buckets and filled my swimming pool with it. I just jump right in everyday and just start eating.
LOL. Jim Bakker has provided so many great laughs throughout his "career" doing stand-up.
This is Trump as an evangelist.
Jimbo must not have got the memo that Barry Gibb is very much alive and can sue for misuse of copyrighted material. The Lawsuit will be hysterical to follow.
If you hadn't told me this was serious, I would have thought it was an SNL skit 🤦🏻♀️ ... and now I want a chocolate dreidel 😂
About died laughing at the end....."Jimmy Dore's food bucket doesn't last 30 years....he's a goddamn liar." LMAO
I am literally in tears from laughing so hard.
SMH
Ok now I just pissed myself a little when that pudgy woman started singing the stayin alive song.
Where do these people come from? How do they not burst out in laughter right in the middle of their con? Takes dedication I guess.
I am no longer afraid of the end. I now welcome it
Don't let Hermione Granger steal your shit!
Those look like recycled cat litter buckets Survival food by Fresh Step -yummy!
Not the Fresh Step! Lol......
Why isn't this guy in a straight jacket and a padded cell?.... I suppose you could use the empty buckets to crap into... Just make sure you label it as crap to tell the difference! 🤨
Tim and Eric were just preparing us for future programming.
the two girl singers apparently put away about a bucket a day themselves.
and these people get tax free status... you know this country is sick right?
The lord told me Jim Baker is a money changer from the temple.
The Lord told me to quit asking him why Jim bakker isn't still locked up.
I'll bet it tastes just as good as it looks.
Funny how God chooses to reveal when the world will end only to convicted felons in prison.
yep and the gullible people who listen to their right wing nonsense.
This is all the cheapest dehydrated food guaranteed to cause severe explosive diarrhea.
zfilmmaker probably makes MREs look tasty
Soylent green is people!
Is there any possible way that the Bee Gees licensed this? I believe at least one is still alive. No pun intended of course.
“We’ll find out” is the absolute worst sales pitch I’ve ever heard.
And don’t you know the UPS has a fit when he starts loading his truck and sees 32 heavy ass buckets where he has to make 16 trips from the truck to your door?
The singer looks like she ate 10 buckets before she got on stage.
That man tossed too much salad in prison.
Jim is always talking about how he spent 40 years at Alcatraz. Is he selling this garbage food in order to pay back the money he stole from Aunt Myrtle?
With the amount of preservatives in that food your body won't decay when you die from eating it.
Three days without drinkable water and you’re dead.
You order 32 of the 5-gallon buckets, that’s 160 gallons. A gallon of grain weighs around 5 pounds, while a gallon of water weighs a little over 8. Let’s figure the cheesy slop Bakker sells weight in at around 7 pounds a gallon. That’s 1120 pounds and if we add in the weight of the buckets we can round up to 1150. The shipping for this 1150-pound item would run you about $5,200 with the cheapest option Fed Ex offers. And the people who fall for this scam are allowed to vote?
Unless you send it by Priority Mail....lol
Should've used the * Steve Miller Band * Song ...... ' Take The Money And Run ' !! 😏
There will be no water to cook this shit.
I guess you can eat this crazy people "food", by the handfuls if you have to.
They sell you the water. Not kidding.
we should build trumps border wall with these buckets...
That shit is insane
Vic Berger’s Jim Bakker videos regarding this are awesome BTW
Jim Bakker should still be in prison for what he did to Jessica Hahn. There is a special place in hell for JIM BAKKER
This guy wants you to think his experience in jail is comparable to John being exiled on the island of Patmos. Jim Baker is the same old con man. He simply repackaged his hustle and now prays on the fears of the elderly.
Marvin Jackson Ditto my friend. My mother used to send in her money and watch this crook all day back in the 80's. Seems wrong he gets out of prison for fraud and again does the same thing to the stupid people that worship him.
“The years I spent in prison”...yeah, and why were you in prison? Oh yeah, because you were defrauding your followers/donors.
Anyone who still follows this obvious charlatan deserves to have their money taken.
you can put the scammer into prison but you cant take the scam out of the prisoner.
Once a Con Man always a Con Man. Therapy is indicated----Diesel Therapy.
Only in Murka.
@2:55 'The years I spent in prison...' Does that sentence REALLY not set some alarm bells ringing for you?
Also, I got my food... I got my pizza... you cut it off too soon.
🎶I GOT MY FOOD...AND I'M STAYIN ALIVE!!!!!🎶😝😝😝
😂😂
Jim Banker: "It's the end of times. (The world is going to end soon)"
Also Jim Bakker: "Buy 22 gallon bucket of food that keeps fresh for 30yrs"
You guys are so funny. I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard!
You'd think old Bakker would at least do a Loaves & Fishes bucket.
All of this food needs a plentiful supply of clean water to reconstitute it. That is something that will not be very plentiful in the Apocalypse!
Well you know, just pray and it'll rain like crazy or something.
*THE POWAH OF PRAYER*
The Bee Gees should sue.
Royalties baby.
Jim Bakker is unlikely to pay royalties. If he does, it's never going to be enough to have their name associated with an ignominious character like Bakker.
Jim bakker is a con man. He has been doing this shit all of his life and should be put back in prison. This guy makes me sick.
Not as a sick as his food will
evangelicals gonna evangelize
Gotta love Jim's logic. Give me a bunch of your money so I can send you food to survive the end times....which you won't be able to eat, because Christians are suppose to be raptured before the end times.
And then you can use the bucket to shit in!!! 🤣
Wheres the logic? Why would Christians want the last days to come so they can to stay alive a bit longer instead of going to heaven???
He's the Noah, of the 21st century...lol...I'm pretty well stocked on the "Staying Alive" food, but I'm dangerously low on "More Than a Woman" feminine sanitary products and also the "How Deep is Your Love" prophylactics.
Moo Moo Puppy Haha.. Great add-on. Very funny. LMAO.. I think the Bee Gees should get some royalties on this worthless crap..
Very funny.
The Bee Gees are dead. Guess they didn’t stay alive
Cause you can never have "Too Much Heaven."
@@jilesmelvin144 LOL, exactly.
WTF is the point of buckets of nasty 40 year shelf life “food” if it’s the “end of time?”
The hogs will be left and need to be fed.
Was that Jim Baker footage actually a SNL skit? Sure looked like it, lol.
Jim Bakker is one step ahead of the law. Apparently, his stint in prison didn't do much to rehabilitate him.
And thy lord revealed himself, and appearing before him, the Lord spoke:
‘Jim, I want you to... y’know do more food’, and the Lord saith this and was glad.
😅
"Apocalypse gruel"? Ha! And that singing is hilarious! :D
1: god gave him merchandising advice "you should ,you know. ..do more food"
2:not everything he says is a lie, the part about him coming up with this scam while he was in prison is 100%true
3: at 5:12 lm the whitest man at St Patricks day in an Irish bar....and EVEN I have more soul than that. ..what have they DONE to that black man!?
oh my god, what the hell did the poor Beegees ever do to deserve to have such disrespect? o h god, could lightning strike them please? sigh
Ginger Weatherbee it's terrible. They've should sue him.
i hope Barry Gibb can.. he's the only one left
Ginger Weatherbee 🤣😂🤣😃😃🤣🤣😃😄😃🤣😂🤣😃