Worked in China for 2 years. One of my staff came up to me and said “boss you’ve been going to the gym for a while, but you’re still fat. Just give up and enjoy yourself”
True but like Jimmy said Chinese are less sensitive about people being overweight because that symbolise prosperities, as least that’s true in the past.
I’m white but my adoptive father is a Taiwanese immigrant. He started dating my mom when I was 10 months old. My biological father died before I was born. When he and my mom married, he legally adopted me so he is my real dad, not my stepdad. Despite coming from Taiwan (he moved to Canada at age 18 for uni,) he is an openly-loving, jovial person. His parents are great with me but I know they were very cold to him growing up. There are still times when my dad feels like his parents don’t love him, and he’s 49. So he showered me with love and affection for 18 years. Well really 27, but I just haven’t lived close to him in 9 years. Love you Dad ❤️
@@L3iglL By country I mean outside of the city and in certain states like Georgia, Texas, Alabama, etc. Basically everywhere in the south that's a while away from town.
He was spot on with that passed-down trauma, it's everywhere :/ My grandma thinks I have to work hard my whole life and not have fun because she wasn't allowed to. That's terrible, our generation has to stop this.
i am sure there was trauma but at the same time, hard work and preserverence are some of the traits that i dont see being passed down these days... So many people hoping for get rich schemes or be an "influencer" etc etc.. We should continue to insist that our kids work hard in schools, i dont think this is a bad thing. At the same time, we have to teach our kids how to have fun after we earn $$..
Heart broken when he said all that.😭 I am so so lucky born in a nontypical Chinese family. My parents are proud of me all the time. I didn't realize how precious it is. Instead I always thought they are ignoring my fault and kept cautious with their words. I should be grateful.
This hits home man. Chinese people have a different way of just expressing themselves and they can come off so abrasive but you take it with a grain of salt that their heart is in the right place.
Classically the Chinese have a very different mindset, they're more pragmatic than anyone else. That means when it comes to family or friends unless you bring social status or material wealth then they want nothing to do with you.
Yeah. My mom shits on me in front of other people and says she's being humble afterwards. My response is usually something like what the fuck or how are you never proud of what I do because I'm pretty smart and really athletic, but she literally just shits on me every chance I get. To any asian kid out there getting shit on, just don't give a fuck. If your parents try to crush your self-esteem, just use that. I keep on living life and don't care about what they say. Don't let them dictate your life. I advise thinking like you have 2 different lives: one for your parents and basically one outside of your parents. The one with your parents should have you getting shitted on 24/7 and you acting like it is affecting you. The one outside of your parents is you having fun and having a normal life.
Definitely passed down generational trauma along with being an immigrant in America. Currently navigating this myself, it is tough at times, but I've learned a lot as well. Great clip choice Jamie! It's something that's not talked about a lot..
Grew up with Chinese immigrant parents too. When he said "passed down trauma" in regards to brutal honesty, I thought I was the only one that thought that way! haha
What his dad said is unfortunately all too common with Asian parents. They care so much about what other people think that they don't want to be judged as bragging about their kid. To the point where they put you down in public.
@@J-BiRTH Better than the 21st Century American way: tell child they did a good job, even when they don't and never critique child for fear they will be butthurt. Treat child like royalty and never discipline for fear of triggering. Allow them to choose their gender. If 2 options aren't enough, manufacture 100 more. And most importantly...never tell them... "NO!" Last: Children need their safe space to escape from criticism, rules/laws, and big meanies. You know... Just like in the real world.
Dude, he has got it so right! Passed down trauma. I got a nice hair cut, my cousin says wow, it’s beautiful! My mom just said “two sides are not the same length...”
“Its hard to grow up with self esteem in a asian house hold” Im Mexican and i felt this my parents are the reason i feel so stupid and worthless nothing i do is ever good enough my parents constantly call me a loser because i dont do things their way and when i do something good by myself and i talk about it proud in the future and they say it never happened
Well buddy my advice to you is to get over it asap. Life is short man, in a few decades you'll look back and realize: "I was beautiful, youthful, smart! I dealt myself short!" Don't do that man. Get out of it and bet on yourself. In the end it's your life and YOU have the power to make things happen for you; not your parents. YOU do.
Hard to grow up with a high self esteem in an Asian household. That is the GD truth right there. Especially if you're female. My mom is Korean and she did not hold back
@@chetthebee1322 Don't be weird. You described an extreme scenario. There is a middle ground between being constantly pressured into meeting impossible ever shifting expectations and total disinterest.
Had Chines family friends. When we would arrive to their house, the mother would out me and say - You're so fat. You need to lose some weight. But then at dinner after I finished my plate it would be - You're such a big boy. You need to eat some more. Have this, have this!. Every single damn time! She never failed.
most traditional societies do that. My German grandma is the same. When I was 13 I put on some make up. My grandma comes into the room and says : I always admired the girls who knew how to put on make up so beautifully, unfortunately you're not one of them.😂
I grew up in a heavily Asian community in Southern California as a white dude. My Asian friends would come to my house and they would go… I can’t believe how friendly and loving your parents are. And how you guys sit and eat together. So we ended up becoming like this refugee house for my Asian American friends. Very strange. The good news is the second and third generation Asian Americans I think recognize the issues and will fix it with their kids
My mother has often commented on my shoulders being too wide for a girl since I was little. I'm now 33. She makes fun of them. Still. What's more, the other day, she talked about how uncomfortable it felt when her mother used to tell her how her shoulders looked wide and masculine for a girl. She still feels insecure about her body and is making me feel the same way without even realizing it. She's like, "Your shoulders look ugly because you're my daughter. lol" That passed down trauma theory is so true.
Same! Not shoulders but other things. My mom being so self critical on herself WAS the reason she criticized me all this while. Took me nearly two decades to come to this realization.
Not going to lie, some parents have the idea that being adult means you stop having fun, be boring, and dedicate your whole life to work. Part of learning from your parents is knowing their faults, and not repeat them.
I worked with 2 Vietnamese guys whos stories of escaping the fall of Vietnam should be made into Hollywood movies. Thats one reason why these immigrant generations are such high achievers. They aren't over achieving, they are simply reacting to surviving some horrible post war shit that given even the smallest of opportunity they sieze it 100%
That’s why I long ago stopped giving a shit about parental approval and what anybody thought of me. Live your life, it’s way too short to live a lie for someone else’s standards and expectations and selfish desires.
Joe rogan up there instigating, but it does feel like his dad is jealous because he worked systematically his whole life and wasted his whole life doing things the systematic way and not finding his love, and Jimmy said forget this system and went with his heart and found success, he clearly overlooks the boldness and heart his son has to be a go getter.
Your psychological insight is from a western perspective. From an Asian viewpoint, you cant feel jealous of a younger person because you always have an advantage they dont. Life experience.
Now I get why he was insulting William hung when clearly the guy was just socially awkward and just wanted to live his dream..... His dad treated him the same
Welcome to being Chinese. It’s also called narcissism. Took me years to figure this out! No nurturing love and affection. What is that!? Puts downs of how “you’re not good enough” is the cultural norm. “Pride and face” is your mission to carry out to represent your family. 😆🤷🏻♀️🙌⚡️💯
Every asian childhood was very different too, but in my experience, they wanted the best for their kids. They put you down so that you can work hard, suceed, and prove them wrong.
Sounds like his father has a lot of issues, and I am sorry for that. It's not like his father just decided when he was eleven years old that he wanted to be an asshole when he grows up. I grew up with a friend like this he was Chinese and had traditional Chinese parents who were always pushing him to be successful. He has to be a MD/PHD in something even though that wasn't his passion. He loved working on cars especially body work and paint jobs ,but he was an excellent mechanic as well. His grandfather owned a nursery and grew specialized Orchid hybrids,James did enjoy working with the flowers and his grandfather. Last I heard from James he was working on his PHD in Botany at Fresno state. He would still time to time take on auto work as this was what he loved and his parents frowned upon. His folks put so much pressure on him to be a doctor. I often wonder do Asian parents do this because they want their children to succeed or do they do this so their children can afford to take care of the parents in their old age. Kind of like a family funded 401K plan. Be successful not for yourself but for us!
Not the taking care of the parents’ part. There is a saying in China, raise your children to 100 years old, being worried about them for the first 99 years. Asian parents want their kids to have financial securities so they don’t need to worry about them, but even if their kids have that, they would still worry. Facts, there some Chinese elderly would commit suicide if they suffer a terminal illness just no to burden their Children.
Yeah my moms family is chinese im half filipino and chinese and my cousins and I are all doctors here in the Philippines but we are greatful now after finishing it all.
There's Asian parents, but then there were my parents. Didn't run fast enough on the soccer pitch, nose broken in car ride home. Violin not parallel to the floor, arm bruised with cane. Got lost at a park, pretend abandoned on highway. I think even Asian parents would think my parents went too far. I have a problem controlling anger, and most of the time it's directed inward. Definitely helps when I need to push myself, but definitely fucks me when I need to be kind to myself, or forgive myself. And honestly, I'm too scared to build close friendships, get into a relationship, let alone start my own family, out of fear of passing on this trauma. I don't trust myself not to hurt someone close to me, so I keep everyone at arms length for their own safety. It's a lonely existence, but I take some solace in the fact that I'm preventing potential damage to others.
You just need a very good friend that you can finally be very close to, emotionally as well as physically, so you both can reflect on each other --- sort of "bouncing" ideas and deep sincere internal thoughts off each other (with no anger --- to be constructive only). Good luck.
Please try meditation. Just 10 minutes. Breath in and out slowly and try not to think about anything. All the pain will be triggered and you will have to face it. But it will help in the long term. I have experienced it too. I don't have any trauma but general anxiety sometimes. And it helped me.
That hurts man. I'm sorry 😞. You deserved better. I felt the pain. You're a talented entertainers man. It's not cool to be a ball breaker to your son. You can to everyone else but your son. Shit man!
it's funny because i'm starting to break away from everything my parents have taught me. parents used fear to control and manipulate me... naturally i became a people pleaser as i was walking on egg shells and didn't want to rock the boat. now that i'm older and am savvy to the 'guilt tripping tactics', asian friends i know say that's just normal. guilt tripping and manipulation isn't normal. yet because it's so common in Asian culture, people accept it as the norm. you have to heal yourself and redefine what's normal. redefine what a healthy relationship is. i was in an emotionally abusive and controlling relationship before because that was my normal. now, even if it's selfish, i have to put my own needs first that's the tricky part - being a good daughter/son for your parents vs choosing what is right for you and your needs.... the guilt that comes with putting your own needs first and choosing your own happiness also if your parents marriage is rocky, kids are the scapegoat in the family... they become the focus. or worse yet the kids feel like they have to take responsibility for the parent's marriage/happiness or emotionally support their parents we have to break the cycle guys. heal yourself so you have a healthy relationship and don't pass on or project your past wounds onto your kids we have to do the hard work because we are smart enough to be aware. we need to stop the generational trauma now! you'll notice when you've started to change when you put firm boundaries up... when you don't feel guilty for saying no to your parents, when they can't make you feel a certain type of way if you don't do as they please. when you see them for who they really are....when you no longer need their approval because you define your own success, you define yourself and you love yourself unconditionally don't take your parent's conditional love to actually be love, just see their love for what it is... their limited capacity to love you as you truly are then give that power back to yourself. give yourself unconditional love. vow to love yourself no matter what: even if shit goes wrong today, even if your parents hate you, even if you ate too much icecream haha, even if your nose looks too big, even if you think you're fat, you are you! there's no one else like you
Agreed about the passed-down trauma. I experienced the same thing in German culture. They pride themselves on being honest, but it is more often than not put-downs.
Hey jimmy in case you're reading this, I just want to say that your father said that because he is probably not used to showing affectionate emotions to family members (the tough parent mask goes through generations). I think it was just a lot of pressure on to show that emotion in that situation. I think subconsciously he knew he should have said YES and that's why he told you later he didn't get the references as sort of apology. Its also a way for him to escape admitting it's hard for him. So give him some time :) he probably loves you and proud of you. Everyone has their own journey :) But i dunno really i'm just a comment on the youtubes
joe going deep into the roots of the problem and jimmy over here really exposing his traumas like yooo chill enough enough i don't wanna think about this anymore 😂
perhaps his dad is finally really seeing how happy and successful his son is so he found inspiration. maybe his dad didn't have that connection with his own father so now he's changing that. BREAK THE CYCLE
That bit about never being good enough is the toughest one for me. My Chinese immigrant parents wanted absolute obedience but even you did obey them they will always find fault somehow. Damned if you do. Damned if you don't.
I'm hoping his dad comes across this episode on UA-cam and gets to look at things from his son's perspective. Would be interesting to know what he takes away from it.
I totally understand where he’s from. I grew up in Hong Kong too and like Jimmy, I came to study in San Diego. My mom did exactly the same to me. She visited me every year. Every time she would tell me how “fat” I was. Am like, thank you mom, I don’t deserve it. After all, I was 125 lbs 5’3. I don’t consider myself “fat”! Oh well, being an Asian kid really not easy …🤣
Hahahah...yup, I get told for getting fat at dinner table regularly growing up. Its just how Asian moms/aunts communicate with us. So we all grew up not able to take a compliment, because we are more comfortable with criticisms. 🤷🏻♀️
I guess I was that rare kid who didn't give a flying f**k what my immigrant parents thought of me. Please don't give them the power to use guilt and expectations to control your actions and affect your self-worth. You don't owe them anything. They were the adults who chose to have you, chose to immigrate, and it was their duty to look after you. They don't get to weaponize love and then expect you to respect them. Respect is reciprocal. I love my parents and we have a much better relationship now that I'm in mid-life because I refused to let them walk all over me when I was young.
im sure its different in different asian households. my mom use to be a tiger mom cuz she use to be hella poor when she was younger since my grandpa went bankrupt. at the time in our country, only 3 students out of each school is picked for government uni plus if you werent malay your chances of getting in are slim (im chinese). thats why my mom puts importance on my grades and how i need a degree because shes scared her children ends up living her childhood. My dad on the other hand wanted to be an artist and did an art major in america after saving up money to study there. after completing his degree, he didnt manage to get a job in the US, flew back to our country (a third world country that did not respect artists) and couldnt find a stable job. he ended up taking the best job he got offered, being a manager of a tv streaming company, never left his job since. due to all this, its hard for me to really get mad at them sometimes considering how they just want me to live a good life and minimize my suffering in the future. Also idk who can relate to this but due to all the brutally honest opinions my parents have made about me, ive come to just be emotionally numb to insults and ybh idk if thats a good thing? ive typically become emotionally numb-
I guess his father feel being good at academic and finding a “real job” are the correct path been tested by thousands of examples. Yet indulging yourself with your hobby, fav sport, girls are the distraction of the correct path
"it's hard to grow up with high self esteem in an Asian household"
That describes asian households tenfold.
Yup.. . Nothing you do is good enough.. with a shitload of insults and comparisons
Asian households in a shellnut
I can confirm this for sure.
100% lmfao
100% true
I’m a Asian and these are my career choices
Doctor, Lawyer, Professor, disgrace of the family
Engineer?
Engineer is an option too
An asian*
I'm major at the last one.
One more choice in my case: Engineer. I guess I was a bit more lucky.
Part of becoming an adult is acknowledging that your parents have faults, flaws and shortcomings.
Choose to be happy my friends
That’s good insight
Well with abusive, violent parents its obvious
Yeah we all have flaws
That has nothing to do with being an adult, lol.
Worked in China for 2 years. One of my staff came up to me and said “boss you’ve been going to the gym for a while, but you’re still fat. Just give up and enjoy yourself”
True but like Jimmy said Chinese are less sensitive about people being overweight because that symbolise prosperities, as least that’s true in the past.
Sounds like some good wisdom there to be fair.
i hope you insulted him equally to enlighten him
The Observer yes true, it was definitely said with more kindness than anything else
The Observer I'm immensely prosperous
I’m white but my adoptive father is a Taiwanese immigrant. He started dating my mom when I was 10 months old. My biological father died before I was born. When he and my mom married, he legally adopted me so he is my real dad, not my stepdad. Despite coming from Taiwan (he moved to Canada at age 18 for uni,) he is an openly-loving, jovial person. His parents are great with me but I know they were very cold to him growing up. There are still times when my dad feels like his parents don’t love him, and he’s 49. So he showered me with love and affection for 18 years. Well really 27, but I just haven’t lived close to him in 9 years. Love you Dad ❤️
brah, that's touching af. nobody talks about it, but this new generation of asian parents are doing it better than the previous ones
Kryptonite oh for sure.
That's amazing
Sounds like somebody was an ungrateful little shit for 9 years
Can he adopt me too
"he's a funny guy, but sometimes it's hard to be his son"
Every asian parent, and mostly chinese things.
@@dannypratama4235 same with country parents
@@JimTheKid sorry but I am not from the US. What do you mean by country parents?
@@L3iglL By country I mean outside of the city and in certain states like Georgia, Texas, Alabama, etc. Basically everywhere in the south that's a while away from town.
@@L3iglL it's just parents in america that lived in rural parts of a state where most farmland and anything away from a city
He was spot on with that passed-down trauma, it's everywhere :/
My grandma thinks I have to work hard my whole life and not have fun because she wasn't allowed to.
That's terrible, our generation has to stop this.
Tough times create strong people, strong people create easy times. Easy times create weak people, weak people create tough times.
@@parkermaki3799 Well said.
"Insert qoute" -Sun Tzu
i am sure there was trauma but at the same time, hard work and preserverence are some of the traits that i dont see being passed down these days... So many people hoping for get rich schemes or be an "influencer" etc etc.. We should continue to insist that our kids work hard in schools, i dont think this is a bad thing. At the same time, we have to teach our kids how to have fun after we earn $$..
@@andyyuen it shouldn't be passed down. you shouldn't have to work hard if you don't want to. It's not a virtue.
Heart broken when he said all that.😭
I am so so lucky born in a nontypical Chinese family. My parents are proud of me all the time.
I didn't realize how precious it is. Instead I always thought they are ignoring my fault and kept cautious with their words.
I should be grateful.
This dude is a great talker, great guest!
Sounds like a therapy session
Haha dude every comment Joe is just hammering that wedge between him and his dad.
Yes
Normal asian peer to peer conversation lmao
And that's good!
That’s so true what he said about how honest Asians are. My grandma is Filipino and she does the exact same thing.
Joe "I had a korean friend growing up he was training for taekwondo nationals while completing his medical residency" rogan
This hits home man. Chinese people have a different way of just expressing themselves and they can come off so abrasive but you take it with a grain of salt that their heart is in the right place.
yeah, but we know now that having one's heart in the right place is not good enough
Classically the Chinese have a very different mindset, they're more pragmatic than anyone else. That means when it comes to family or friends unless you bring social status or material wealth then they want nothing to do with you.
Yeah. My mom shits on me in front of other people and says she's being humble afterwards. My response is usually something like what the fuck or how are you never proud of what I do because I'm pretty smart and really athletic, but she literally just shits on me every chance I get. To any asian kid out there getting shit on, just don't give a fuck. If your parents try to crush your self-esteem, just use that. I keep on living life and don't care about what they say. Don't let them dictate your life. I advise thinking like you have 2 different lives: one for your parents and basically one outside of your parents. The one with your parents should have you getting shitted on 24/7 and you acting like it is affecting you. The one outside of your parents is you having fun and having a normal life.
@@reese4508 or just be better
@@hozerberto4886 yea bro skill issue
Actually this was a deep conversation. A lot of people can relate to what he is saying.
Definitely passed down generational trauma along with being an immigrant in America. Currently navigating this myself, it is tough at times, but I've learned a lot as well. Great clip choice Jamie! It's something that's not talked about a lot..
You hear a lot about Tiger Moms but not enough about Lion Dads
Finally! Someone said it!
Dude, you gotta get off the Internet 😂 you’re everywhere!!
Xplora213 if he’s everywhere then that means you’re everywhere as well cuz u see his comment 😂
Lions in the wild don’t really give a shit about their young. You need a better comparison. I don’t have one either.
Grew up with Chinese immigrant parents too. When he said "passed down trauma" in regards to brutal honesty, I thought I was the only one that thought that way! haha
What his dad said is unfortunately all too common with Asian parents. They care so much about what other people think that they don't want to be judged as bragging about their kid. To the point where they put you down in public.
Sucks, it sounds like his parents are a bit invalidating and competitive with him
It's still fucking funny. :-)
Yea that's Asian just culture
@@jjrod33 Doesn't mean it should be dismissed.
@@J-BiRTH sure it does that's what works that's why Asians are super winners it not pretty but it's effective
@@J-BiRTH Better than the 21st Century American way: tell child they did a good job, even when they don't and never critique child for fear they will be butthurt. Treat child like royalty and never discipline for fear of triggering. Allow them to choose their gender. If 2 options aren't enough, manufacture 100 more. And most importantly...never tell them... "NO!"
Last: Children need their safe space to escape from criticism, rules/laws, and big meanies. You know... Just like in the real world.
Asian parent sound like African families. That’s how we are raised too.
Toori Baba defs bruh I just ducked one this morning
Lol for sure. South asian here Pakistani it's all the same for us 🤣
@@FocusedGio lol mate I had to parry a steel toed boot, sandals and a TV remote before I left home today
Shoes, frying pan, and my favorite was when you got to pick the branch before the beating lol.
@@arycosta7293 lol got beat so bad and then had to apologise to our parents 🤣 no remorse from them whatsoever hahaha
I feel like I just watched a therapy session
When Jimmy's dad said, "no, Jimmy's not funny." EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!
Same with Mexicans my family is so brutally honest and disguise it as comedy a lot of the time but some of it hurts sometimes also think it’s trauma
Dude, he has got it so right! Passed down trauma. I got a nice hair cut, my cousin says wow, it’s beautiful! My mom just said “two sides are not the same length...”
These podcast looked more like a psychological counseling session than a podcast.
Love Jimmy and the podcast was great!
"Eric Baachman, this is your father and you are not funny, and fat."
This guy was masterful on Silicon Valley, such a great funny character despite the dorks crying about the “stereotypical accent”
I eat... the fish
Yeah so true. The accent sold it so well.
I always got the impression that the character used peoples perception of his accent to make them think he was stupid, when he definitely wasn't.
i want to kiss ons da moufth
They never set foot on silicon valley obviously. It's Chinatown.
My immigrant father (Scotland) would have said the same thing for exactly the same reasons - passed down trauma and work ethic
0:55 LMAO Bobby Lee's dad was made of the same wood, Asian parents not getting their sons jokes is a thing it seems
My mum str8 out ignores me wen i talk.n i aint got no dad.lol
I’ll be honest I’ve never heard of this jimmy yang before but just from the podcast I’m a big fan
WhoDatBoy95 watch silicon valley on HBO he's halarious
also space force he’s very funny there
Check out his comedy specials, he’s hilarious
He’s the loud annoying guy in Crazy Rich Asians
Look up octopus recipes he’s hilarious
His dad made him funny though
Or good singers like Micheal, I mean Janet Jackson
Is that supposed to be funny...?
“Its hard to grow up with self esteem in a asian house hold” Im Mexican and i felt this my parents are the reason i feel so stupid and worthless nothing i do is ever good enough my parents constantly call me a loser because i dont do things their way and when i do something good by myself and i talk about it proud in the future and they say it never happened
Well buddy my advice to you is to get over it asap. Life is short man, in a few decades you'll look back and realize:
"I was beautiful, youthful, smart! I dealt myself short!"
Don't do that man. Get out of it and bet on yourself. In the end it's your life and YOU have the power to make things happen for you; not your parents. YOU do.
Hard to grow up with a high self esteem in an Asian household.
That is the GD truth right there. Especially if you're female. My mom is Korean and she did not hold back
So having high esteem comes from being in a family that doesn't give a rats ass about you or your education like I did?
It's why the majority of them go no-contact with their parents; what's the point of negative experiences?
@@chetthebee1322 Lol any sort of extreme isn't usually a good thing.
@@J-BiRTH Learn to read. I said "esteem" not extreme.
@@chetthebee1322 Don't be weird. You described an extreme scenario.
There is a middle ground between being constantly pressured into meeting impossible ever shifting expectations and total disinterest.
Had Chines family friends. When we would arrive to their house, the mother would out me and say - You're so fat. You need to lose some weight. But then at dinner after I finished my plate it would be - You're such a big boy. You need to eat some more. Have this, have this!. Every single damn time! She never failed.
Maybe just telling you to exercise. Food is health.
most traditional societies do that. My German grandma is the same. When I was 13 I put on some make up. My grandma comes into the room and says : I always admired the girls who knew how to put on make up so beautifully, unfortunately you're not one of them.😂
"Past down trauma", wow it's really enlightening watching Jimmy's chat. Giving me so much realization about my life as an Asian. Thank you!
T.J. Miller looks really different 🤣🤣
I grew up in a heavily Asian community in Southern California as a white dude. My Asian friends would come to my house and they would go… I can’t believe how friendly and loving your parents are. And how you guys sit and eat together. So we ended up becoming like this refugee house for my Asian American friends. Very strange. The good news is the second and third generation Asian Americans I think recognize the issues and will fix it with their kids
Jimmy's soo salty about his dad it's hilarious😂😂
Is this a counseling session recorded and aired?
This is not a interview is a counseling section... I love it!
I have social anxiety disorder and my dad constantly mocks me mainly when we're around other people.
Jimmy's right. My Taiwanese parents have zero filter. I agree with Jimmy. It's definitely traumatic growing up in
Chinese culture.
LOL! I’ve done that Robin Williams thing to some people and made them cry. Works every time it’s legit therapy!
Poor Christina just got exposed on JRE
My mother has often commented on my shoulders being too wide for a girl since I was little. I'm now 33. She makes fun of them. Still.
What's more, the other day, she talked about how uncomfortable it felt when her mother used to tell her how her shoulders looked wide and masculine for a girl. She still feels insecure about her body and is making me feel the same way without even realizing it. She's like, "Your shoulders look ugly because you're my daughter. lol" That passed down trauma theory is so true.
Same! Not shoulders but other things. My mom being so self critical on herself WAS the reason she criticized me all this while.
Took me nearly two decades to come to this realization.
Not going to lie, some parents have the idea that being adult means you stop having fun, be boring, and dedicate your whole life to work. Part of learning from your parents is knowing their faults, and not repeat them.
I worked with 2 Vietnamese guys whos stories of escaping the fall of Vietnam should be made into Hollywood movies. Thats one reason why these immigrant generations are such high achievers. They aren't over achieving, they are simply reacting to surviving some horrible post war shit that given even the smallest of opportunity they sieze it 100%
the title is kinda misleading, ngl, I thought man tears were about to be shed
That’s why I long ago stopped giving a shit about parental approval and what anybody thought of me. Live your life, it’s way too short to live a lie for someone else’s standards and expectations and selfish desires.
Your were right jimmy..Chinese parents are very tough teaching their kids. Me and mu siblings born in Perú. I feel your feeling..Nice interview.
Joe rogan up there instigating, but it does feel like his dad is jealous because he worked systematically his whole life and wasted his whole life doing things the systematic way and not finding his love, and Jimmy said forget this system and went with his heart and found success, he clearly overlooks the boldness and heart his son has to be a go getter.
you insightful af lol
Your psychological insight is from a western perspective.
From an Asian viewpoint, you cant feel jealous of a younger person because you always have an advantage they dont.
Life experience.
Now I get why he was insulting William hung when clearly the guy was just socially awkward and just wanted to live his dream..... His dad treated him the same
Thanks for sharing
Been through the same
Welcome to being Chinese. It’s also called narcissism. Took me years to figure this out! No nurturing love and affection. What is that!? Puts downs of how “you’re not good enough” is the cultural norm. “Pride and face” is your mission to carry out to represent your family. 😆🤷🏻♀️🙌⚡️💯
Guy is hilarious and I can’t wait too see him one day
..then what will you do.. when you.. see him..
@@jamskof 💀💀💀💀💀💀
Every asian childhood was very different too, but in my experience, they wanted the best for their kids. They put you down so that you can work hard, suceed, and prove them wrong.
Sounds like his father has a lot of issues, and I am sorry for that. It's not like his father just decided when he was eleven years old that he wanted to be an asshole when he grows up. I grew up with a friend like this he was Chinese and had traditional Chinese parents who were always pushing him to be successful. He has to be a MD/PHD in something even though that wasn't his passion. He loved working on cars especially body work and paint jobs ,but he was an excellent mechanic as well. His grandfather owned a nursery and grew specialized Orchid hybrids,James did enjoy working with the flowers and his grandfather. Last I heard from James he was working on his PHD in Botany at Fresno state. He would still time to time take on auto work as this was what he loved and his parents frowned upon. His folks put so much pressure on him to be a doctor. I often wonder do Asian parents do this because they want their children to succeed or do they do this so their children can afford to take care of the parents in their old age. Kind of like a family funded 401K plan. Be successful not for yourself but for us!
Not the taking care of the parents’ part. There is a saying in China, raise your children to 100 years old, being worried about them for the first 99 years. Asian parents want their kids to have financial securities so they don’t need to worry about them, but even if their kids have that, they would still worry. Facts, there some Chinese elderly would commit suicide if they suffer a terminal illness just no to burden their Children.
Yeah my moms family is chinese im half filipino and chinese and my cousins and I are all doctors here in the Philippines but we are greatful now after finishing it all.
@@pussyeater4111lmao okay with a screen name like yours and bad grammar... ok DOCTOR😂😂😂😂😂
It’s so fucking true for what jimmy said . I got insulted by my mom and my grandmother for my whole life.
And it hurts 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲
There's Asian parents, but then there were my parents. Didn't run fast enough on the soccer pitch, nose broken in car ride home. Violin not parallel to the floor, arm bruised with cane. Got lost at a park, pretend abandoned on highway. I think even Asian parents would think my parents went too far. I have a problem controlling anger, and most of the time it's directed inward. Definitely helps when I need to push myself, but definitely fucks me when I need to be kind to myself, or forgive myself. And honestly, I'm too scared to build close friendships, get into a relationship, let alone start my own family, out of fear of passing on this trauma. I don't trust myself not to hurt someone close to me, so I keep everyone at arms length for their own safety. It's a lonely existence, but I take some solace in the fact that I'm preventing potential damage to others.
You gotta take that chance. It helps getting things out
You just need a very good friend that you can finally be very close to, emotionally as well as physically, so you both can reflect on each other --- sort of "bouncing" ideas and deep sincere internal thoughts off each other (with no anger --- to be constructive only). Good luck.
if it's within your means, get professional help, dude. you're worth it and it'll make the world a better place for you and others
Please try meditation. Just 10 minutes. Breath in and out slowly and try not to think about anything. All the pain will be triggered and you will have to face it. But it will help in the long term. I have experienced it too. I don't have any trauma but general anxiety sometimes. And it helped me.
I eata da fish. this guy is hilarious in standup and acting I look forward to what he does in the future
I think talking to Joe is therapeutic for Jimmy right here.
That hurts man. I'm sorry 😞. You deserved better. I felt the pain. You're a talented entertainers man. It's not cool to be a ball breaker to your son. You can to everyone else but your son. Shit man!
This show is so real. I love it.
No bro I am an Asian father in both generations. It’s to keep our kids humble. It’s lots and lots and lots of tough love
Thats hiw you feel, and thats how he feels.
it's funny because i'm starting to break away from everything my parents have taught me. parents used fear to control and manipulate me... naturally i became a people pleaser as i was walking on egg shells and didn't want to rock the boat. now that i'm older and am savvy to the 'guilt tripping tactics', asian friends i know say that's just normal. guilt tripping and manipulation isn't normal. yet because it's so common in Asian culture, people accept it as the norm.
you have to heal yourself and redefine what's normal. redefine what a healthy relationship is. i was in an emotionally abusive and controlling relationship before because that was my normal.
now, even if it's selfish, i have to put my own needs first
that's the tricky part - being a good daughter/son for your parents vs choosing what is right for you and your needs.... the guilt that comes with putting your own needs first and choosing your own happiness
also if your parents marriage is rocky, kids are the scapegoat in the family... they become the focus. or worse yet the kids feel like they have to take responsibility for the parent's marriage/happiness or emotionally support their parents
we have to break the cycle guys. heal yourself so you have a healthy relationship and don't pass on or project your past wounds onto your kids
we have to do the hard work because we are smart enough to be aware. we need to stop the generational trauma now!
you'll notice when you've started to change when you put firm boundaries up... when you don't feel guilty for saying no to your parents, when they can't make you feel a certain type of way if you don't do as they please. when you see them for who they really are....when you no longer need their approval because you define your own success, you define yourself and you love yourself unconditionally
don't take your parent's conditional love to actually be love, just see their love for what it is... their limited capacity to love you as you truly are
then give that power back to yourself. give yourself unconditional love. vow to love yourself no matter what: even if shit goes wrong today, even if your parents hate you, even if you ate too much icecream haha, even if your nose looks too big, even if you think you're fat, you are you! there's no one else like you
Agreed about the passed-down trauma. I experienced the same thing in German culture. They pride themselves on being honest, but it is more often than not put-downs.
Hey jimmy in case you're reading this, I just want to say that your father said that because he is probably not used to showing affectionate emotions to family members (the tough parent mask goes through generations). I think it was just a lot of pressure on to show that emotion in that situation. I think subconsciously he knew he should have said YES and that's why he told you later he didn't get the references as sort of apology. Its also a way for him to escape admitting it's hard for him. So give him some time :) he probably loves you and proud of you. Everyone has their own journey :)
But i dunno really i'm just a comment on the youtubes
Nah he needs to be top dawg
5:25 Joe reads Jimmy look a BOOK lmaooo
I’m from a south Asian background and we are similar. At 15 I hated this but now at 25 I understand why Asian parents are the way they are.
You can understand it but it doesn't mean that you have to accept it.
So relatable
Can relate!!
Haha nice way to end the clip.
“It’s not your fault! “
“Stop it, man, don’t do that man..”
how did jimmy o yang get on JRE before bobby lee
joe going deep into the roots of the problem and jimmy over here really exposing his traumas like yooo chill enough enough i don't wanna think about this anymore 😂
His story reminds me of that king of hill episode with Khan and his father in law😂😂😂
Hey, he is Richard's son. Nice to see him. Hope Richard has his special soon.
True so true. My mom does that a lot !
Loved this dude in silicone valley
JIN YANG!
perhaps his dad is finally really seeing how happy and successful his son is so he found inspiration. maybe his dad didn't have that connection with his own father so now he's changing that. BREAK THE CYCLE
Rogan is the new Ed Sullivan.
Mayne this is so relatable lmao
Anyone else excited about the ps5 reveal?
Gamers are hyped
very
PC master-race checking in
Josue Luna ima be honest the console looks cool but the games shown were mostly a snooze fest
2:16 He went from laughing to serious right away 😂 5:17 You and her? pff yeah 😂😂 Joe: WOW
Therapy w Joe Rogan
Call me when you doctor!!!
That bit about never being good enough is the toughest one for me. My Chinese immigrant parents wanted absolute obedience but even you did obey them they will always find fault somehow. Damned if you do. Damned if you don't.
I'm hoping his dad comes across this episode on UA-cam and gets to look at things from his son's perspective. Would be interesting to know what he takes away from it.
Growing up in HK, this really, really hits home. Coming 2nd out of many hundreds just begs the question: why weren't you 1st?
I totally understand where he’s from. I grew up in Hong Kong too and like Jimmy, I came to study in San Diego. My mom did exactly the same to me. She visited me every year. Every time she would tell me how “fat” I was. Am like, thank you mom, I don’t deserve it. After all, I was 125 lbs 5’3. I don’t consider myself “fat”! Oh well, being an Asian kid really not easy …🤣
Hilarious.
Its not honesty. It's abuse.
Hahahah...yup, I get told for getting fat at dinner table regularly growing up. Its just how Asian moms/aunts communicate with us. So we all grew up not able to take a compliment, because we are more comfortable with criticisms. 🤷🏻♀️
I’m black and this is mainly in my household too but I’m stronger than ever
This makes the world need more Asian comedians
I guess I was that rare kid who didn't give a flying f**k what my immigrant parents thought of me. Please don't give them the power to use guilt and expectations to control your actions and affect your self-worth. You don't owe them anything. They were the adults who chose to have you, chose to immigrate, and it was their duty to look after you. They don't get to weaponize love and then expect you to respect them. Respect is reciprocal. I love my parents and we have a much better relationship now that I'm in mid-life because I refused to let them walk all over me when I was young.
That's great. You were strong minded very young
This is fucking fascinating.
im sure its different in different asian households. my mom use to be a tiger mom cuz she use to be hella poor when she was younger since my grandpa went bankrupt. at the time in our country, only 3 students out of each school is picked for government uni plus if you werent malay your chances of getting in are slim (im chinese). thats why my mom puts importance on my grades and how i need a degree because shes scared her children ends up living her childhood. My dad on the other hand wanted to be an artist and did an art major in america after saving up money to study there. after completing his degree, he didnt manage to get a job in the US, flew back to our country (a third world country that did not respect artists) and couldnt find a stable job. he ended up taking the best job he got offered, being a manager of a tv streaming company, never left his job since. due to all this, its hard for me to really get mad at them sometimes considering how they just want me to live a good life and minimize my suffering in the future.
Also idk who can relate to this but due to all the brutally honest opinions my parents have made about me, ive come to just be emotionally numb to insults and ybh idk if thats a good thing? ive typically become emotionally numb-
Sorry to hear that. What do you work as at the moment? Do you enjoy it?
I guess his father feel being good at academic and finding a “real job” are the correct path been tested by thousands of examples. Yet indulging yourself with your hobby, fav sport, girls are the distraction of the correct path
This segment is a pretty accurate representation about how stereotypically Chinese parents behave.
Trauma is the simplest tool to implement mass social control.
Interesting