This is so true. When I was a kid, I was extremely anxious and missed a year of school. Had some therapy and one way they got me back in was giving me a chair by the door and permission to leave at any moment . I think I only used it twice at the start but then it just became my escape and eventually I didn’t need to sit by the door anymore because I realised nothing bad was going to happen. It works
Even though you are incredibly intelligent and I only, at age 65 with a 5th grade education struggled to understand a lot of your words, you've described my intire life and my inability to communicate effectively with my own therapist. Dealing with severe child PTSD and C- PTSD.
I’m going thru a terrible time with anxiety and depression and coNstantly think I’m out of control my mind will not shut off over thinking currently thinking I need to leave my husband my job etc Seeing a counsellor tomorrow
I appreciate hte part about zmark Seiligman's work on Learned Helplessness. I started reading this book. Growing up in a dominating and controlling environment can lead one to believe he or she is powerless in life.
Thank you for your insights they are so helpful. Could you give guidance on how to communicate boundaries kindly to adult children who feel entitled to large financial gifts please?
what a great video!!!! psychology and philosophy united. You are describing my life too, a lot of passivity and learned helplessness coupled with hypochondria and the desire to control my health, my future, my children etc etc etc
Hi mark. Thank you so much you are such a great angel that enlighten me❤❤ may I know where I can find part 4 etc or the other series of this episode? Btw I have bought your book as well 😊
Hello Mark, great and insightful video as always. I have put it across before in the comments but could you perhaps do a video on reoccurring dreams? I think it would be very interesting to see your approach to it and as someone who has been having ones consistently for few years it would help me understand them on a deeper level.
One example this discussion invited me to think of is female to female violence or indirect aggression. This form of aggression reveals the demand to exert control, like a young child ego looking around the world erroneously believing they are the centre of the universe who never develops a realistic sense of control. An example, a group with a central leader attempts to abuse and reduce body confidence by naming someone (an object viewed as out of the group and for them needing control and a place set by them and to feel as their Anxiety demands-bad about themself) a "beached whale". The issue is, their belief they are the centre and in control has also put them in the spotlight as desperate to control and appeared low in intelligence and never reveal substance like expectations that an interesting adult would. The end of the world so to speak is to let the person they created an object walk away without their attachment demanding to feel powerful and clearly insecurity- because their demand that they are in control and is in a way a helplessness. Within them, their lack of knowledge and therefore their ignorant (not seen by the participants as ignorant, of course) rumor and gossip spreading is a misconception that mirrors helicopter parents because they never allow positive interdependence because they feel uncomfortable and this is dangerous. Coercive control or heightened risk from demanding control is like said, not rebelling from social norms. And clearly putting someone down to "control" unquestionably becomes the angry conformist who, in female to female violence is desperate to be the centre of attention and "looked at" as the only desired object. Of course there are other forms of control and the darkness like research from Jung suggest is not met with and cast aside for public performance of dignity. Thanks so many shades of control that are on a spectrum of negative and positive and I appreciate your discussions.
Hello, is it possible to have both "learned helplessness" in some life areas, and "overcontrol" in others? Bizarrely, I am in helplessness mode in areas where I could influence things, and in overcontrol in areas where I have no control. I would love to have your answer
Struggling to understand what he is saying because of the well-meaning but unnatural intonation/stress in his phrases, I am frustrated, because I can make out that he is actually saying good thin s.. Does anybody else have this difficulty, or are you able to disregard the false un-english intonation? I am sure he doesn't speak like that in ordinary conversation and so wish he'd stop. It sounds as though he wants us to feel unthreateed, accepted, safe and calm, but I feel uneasy, distrustful, disturbed and irritated instead, and frustrated. I don't want to take my little resources to write it all out just to readand hear it naturally, undisturbedly in peace. This was probably said bluntly, but I am too sick and tired to attempt packing it in cotton wool, sth I am not good at (yet) unfortunately.
@@cloverajazz6743 You did not read me correctly, my problem is his intonation, excessive stresses which are tiring and dizzying . I am not an ordinary one as such. I have extreme sleep deprivation, Aspergers with High sensitivity nerves and trauma in very long-term crisis and illness without help, which influences this reaction..
Don't be ridiculous, emotional needs are a fallacy, and control is irrelevant and obsolete. Something either serves you or doesn't. Occasionally something serves for a while and then it doesn't please stop advocating suicide, it is evil.
Where did he advocate suicide? Nowhere. The person he REFERRED to mentioned it to HIM. Big difference. How dare you try to twist people's words! You're dangerous. And that's gaslighting.
This is so true. When I was a kid, I was extremely anxious and missed a year of school. Had some therapy and one way they got me back in was giving me a chair by the door and permission to leave at any moment . I think I only used it twice at the start but then it just became my escape and eventually I didn’t need to sit by the door anymore because I realised nothing bad was going to happen. It works
Even though you are incredibly intelligent and I only, at age 65 with a 5th grade education struggled to understand a lot of your words, you've described my intire life and my inability to communicate effectively with my own therapist. Dealing with severe child PTSD and C- PTSD.
Divine! This is exactly the clarification I wanted to hear… embracing the realities of life, uncertainty and ambiguity. Thank you
What a brilliant man
I learned more here than my 2 year post grad psychoanalysis course.
I’m going thru a terrible time with anxiety and depression and coNstantly think I’m out of control my mind will not shut off over thinking currently thinking I need to leave my husband my job etc
Seeing a counsellor tomorrow
If have your own mpney leave your husband,sometimes we all need a new start..we lost authenticity just bcoz of being married..i hate being married
Do you have a book on this topic!! So much incredible knowledge!
I appreciate hte part about zmark Seiligman's work on Learned Helplessness. I started reading this book. Growing up in a dominating and controlling environment can lead one to believe he or she is powerless in life.
Fascinating, thank you. Maybe saying "a person" instead of "you" may make for more comfortable listening for the listener.
That is an interesting request.
Thank you for contributing to my awakening ❤️
You also remind me of my granny 😄
So articulate and well illustrated. Very interesting. Thank you
Thank you for your insights they are so helpful. Could you give guidance on how to communicate boundaries kindly to adult children who feel entitled to large financial gifts please?
Thank you for this video, extremely informative, I was totally engrossed and mesmerised. I’ve learned a lot. Deanne
Great information as always Mark!
what a great video!!!! psychology and philosophy united. You are describing my life too, a lot of passivity and learned helplessness coupled with hypochondria and the desire to control my health, my future, my children etc etc etc
Hi mark. Thank you so much you are such a great angel that enlighten me❤❤ may I know where I can find part 4 etc or the other series of this episode? Btw I have bought your book as well 😊
Hi there :) we've compiled the full series so far on a playlist here: ua-cam.com/play/PLoty4kAAb_7FZSHJsCJ5DWtuGbJyo-IC1.html
@@MarkTyrrellUnk thanks mark….but Part 3 was jumped to Part 6…..I can’t find Part 4 and some of the episodes..?? Thanks
keep on making videos you help me a lot to deal with my emotion! This is one of my favorite channel here on yt. thankyouuu for this
Excellent upload.
Hello Mark, great and insightful video as always. I have put it across before in the comments but could you perhaps do a video on reoccurring dreams? I think it would be very interesting to see your approach to it and as someone who has been having ones consistently for few years it would help me understand them on a deeper level.
One example this discussion invited me to think of is female to female violence or indirect aggression. This form of aggression reveals the demand to exert control, like a young child ego looking around the world erroneously believing they are the centre of the universe who never develops a realistic sense of control. An example, a group with a central leader attempts to abuse and reduce body confidence by naming someone (an object viewed as out of the group and for them needing control and a place set by them and to feel as their Anxiety demands-bad about themself) a "beached whale". The issue is, their belief they are the centre and in control has also put them in the spotlight as desperate to control and appeared low in intelligence and never reveal substance like expectations that an interesting adult would. The end of the world so to speak is to let the person they created an object walk away without their attachment demanding to feel powerful and clearly insecurity- because their demand that they are in control and is in a way a helplessness. Within them, their lack of knowledge and therefore their ignorant (not seen by the participants as ignorant, of course) rumor and gossip spreading is a misconception that mirrors helicopter parents because they never allow positive interdependence because they feel uncomfortable and this is dangerous. Coercive control or heightened risk from demanding control is like said, not rebelling from social norms. And clearly putting someone down to "control" unquestionably becomes the angry conformist who, in female to female violence is desperate to be the centre of attention and "looked at" as the only desired object. Of course there are other forms of control and the darkness like research from Jung suggest is not met with and cast aside for public performance of dignity. Thanks so many shades of control that are on a spectrum of negative and positive and I appreciate your discussions.
Thank you, Mark, great stuff as always.
Tks again. I was missing this videos. 💙
Thank you
Love the series of dark side of your emotional needs!
Hello, is it possible to have both "learned helplessness" in some life areas, and "overcontrol" in others? Bizarrely, I am in helplessness mode in areas where I could influence things, and in overcontrol in areas where I have no control. I would love to have your answer
yes
I've definitely seen this pattern!
Enlightening indeed
Amazing video, thank-you :)
Thanks
“Emotional damage”
Clicked straight on this one haha
He tells it like it is !
You did an excellent job of explaining how Hitler and Trump rose to power. Wonderful review.
Did you play magneto in the xmen films?
Do you need glasses?
genius
Hence, "control freaks"...my wife to a T.
Your 5 tips to be a dictator sum up Trump 😢
Struggling to understand what he is saying because of the well-meaning but unnatural intonation/stress in his phrases, I am frustrated, because I can make out that he is actually saying good thin s.. Does anybody else have this difficulty, or are you able to disregard the false un-english intonation? I am sure he doesn't speak like that in ordinary conversation and so wish he'd stop. It sounds as though he wants us to feel unthreateed, accepted, safe and calm, but I feel uneasy, distrustful, disturbed and irritated instead, and frustrated. I don't want to take my little resources to write it all out just to readand hear it naturally, undisturbedly in peace.
This was probably said bluntly, but I am too sick and tired to attempt packing it in cotton wool, sth I am not good at (yet) unfortunately.
He is teaching future counselors for ordinary people like us it is hard to understand indeed😅
@@cloverajazz6743 You did not read me correctly, my problem is his intonation, excessive stresses which are tiring and dizzying . I am not an ordinary one as such.
I have extreme sleep deprivation, Aspergers with High sensitivity nerves and trauma in very long-term crisis and illness without help, which influences this reaction..
Don't be ridiculous, emotional needs are a fallacy, and control is irrelevant and obsolete. Something either serves you or doesn't. Occasionally something serves for a while and then it doesn't please stop advocating suicide, it is evil.
Where did he advocate suicide? Nowhere. The person he REFERRED to mentioned it to HIM. Big difference. How dare you try to twist people's words! You're dangerous. And that's gaslighting.