I cried in the car listening to this entire video. Every single point hit me right in the feels. Thank you for making this video coach. I desperately needed to hear this. You just saved me. 🙏🏼
1. You Have to Want to Feel Better 0:16 2. You Can Feel Better In Seconds 3:18 3. Does The Hurt Bother You? 4:30 4. If You Had No History With Them 7:02 5. The Right One Won't Leave 8:30 6. Is The Pain You Holding The Torch? 11:58 7. You Survived This Before 13:46 8. Are There Unsaid Things? 16:03 9. Stop Giving It Energy 17:32 10. Is This Feeling Real? 18:50
It's been 6 months since my ex dumped me. I thought he would come back. It's the worst heart break I've ever been though. But I am so grateful to coach Lee and hate to think where I would be if I didn't have his great advice and wisdom. Thank you coach Lee, I'm so grateful to you. ❤
I’ve survived this before. However, this was years of a beautiful relationship. Both in our early 50’s, with common goals and expecting to be the last one. I accepted him to friend zoning me for over a year after the breakup. I decided to establish NC a month ago. I am not willing to give him my energy nor my time. Pain is chemically based. Redirecting my thoughts. Finally opened to allow a great man that is willing to walk the walk with me ❤🎉
Thank you Coach Lee. I’m a veteran with PTSD and your videos have helped me tremendously. They might have even saved my life. Thank you for what you do.
Thank you coach Lee, I was dumped 18 days ago after four years and your videos saved me, to be honest I was living with the hope but after 16 days I saw her again and she was dead cold I read her a final letter were I apologize and take my part, she cried but said that in the 16 days she didn't even though once about me, that was the words that were enough for me to realise that It was a waste of time to be affected by her and I deleted all our pictures the same night. This video come in the perfect time for me
@@helenan866 Thanks I hope you can also progress well in your healing journey, all my thougts are with you and everyone else, we are in the same boat but we're gonna make it :D
Talking and journaling, was very therapeutic to me, every time I shared at the LORD was healing me.. TALKING, praying and hearing other peoples experiences also really help me as it was with them.. I am in a support group right now. A grief class. Oh it’s just wonderful. I encourage everyone to get into a grief class no matter what your pain and loss is. We need to grieve or we will get into addictions, and I do not want that. I hope this is helpful..
Can I ask where you go to meet new people? Like what are some good options for meeting new potential partners? Because I don't even know where I would start, when I get over this, and am ready again. I hate the social media thing that everyone does now, so much!!
So timely! This video is an answered prayer.. Thank You Coach Lee, your lessons I will carry with me for a lifetime and pass on to my daughters! Tried and true!
I've let go a long time now and I've even forgiven.....and I'm moving on.....coach Lee vids has helped me through the entire process of 7 months and some may say it's not long but it was very long for so much pain and once I let go I realise that it's was a game changer and I focus on me and my growth.... And it's been awesome
Can’t wait to see this one! I believe I need to get over her in my heart in order for me to redeem my dignity, and redeeming my attraction. To her, and to others. I’ll be posted up for this one Lee!
So much painful truth! Ouch. But i love it! Im suffering in no contact but I definitely feel better knowing she is getting zero satisfaction in knowing im thinking about her.
Coach Lee is right about everything he talks about in his videos. I went no contact with my ex and just after 4 days she reached out saying we were making a mistake. In my heart I knew it was too soon and I told her that I wanted time to love myself again before I’d want to get back. So now I’m here, trying to get over something I could’ve had. It sounds crazy but Coach Lee 100% knows what he’s talking about.
Can't believe I'm going through this again.. But I'm so so grateful for coach Lee. I would be so lost and going about things all wrong if it weren't for this channel
@@bladimiragurcia4720 yep especially at night when it's all quiet and you just wish you could turn the thoughts off.. Sometimes I just fall asleep to Coach Lee's videos 🥲
Hey coach Lee, I’ve been listening to your videos every time I break up in the past 5 years. I truly appreciate you so much and feel like you’re an old friend who’s always here supporting me whenever my heart breaks
Hey coach! Been watching you for awhile now. Thank you! My ex cheated on me and left me for him after we were together 14 years. And now they got married and he has her on meth! But im still going thru hell trying to heal.
It's been 2 years now. I haven't heard anything from her. Nor, have I texted or called her either. She wrote me off like I never existed. I'm sure the drug usage has alot to do with it.
This one was hard to listen to at times but it's exactly what I needed and made me feel seen and understood and hopeful. Thank you. It really felt like you were talking to me.
Coach Lee, thank you for all these absolutely awesome messages, your way better than any counselor or even antidepressants, I am already feeling some relief from my partner who lived with me, I thought she really loved me till she packed behind my back , THAN had some girl pick her up im front of my house with me standing there in complete shock 😢Wow what a blow to me, without your videos im not sure how I would be right now , but I see im walking away from this evil person who has no soul.thank you coach Lee
Thank you! So insightful about pain and separation.👍It can also be pain from a separation in your childhood, you perhaps isnt aware of, triggered after a separation as an adult. I have experienced that and it was much easier to handle when I understood the source. ,
Thank you, for this information because I now have the self permission to stop giving the breakup more energy and I believe the facts and I will continue healing now because I know the cause of pain, the brain chemical and that it's not real towards the other person now I can stop beating myself up emotional for the wrong person who I would tell someone else if they hurt that they can heal and move on. I will heal and move on, thank you Coach, I can breath again, thank you Coach!!!!!❤🎉
She said "no calls" and when I started to reflect on that, it means she never really loved me and the pain from that realization is so intense that I feel like crying... I just couldn't let it out :(
@@Niwweleg Well, if you love someone you'd want them to be in touch with you. You'd want to hear from them. We did eventually get on the phone for 4 hours only after she allowed it and she'd act like we're about to marry, but she always does this where after we have our calls she'd just go cold and barely responds to my texts. Yesterday, she sent me a sticker that says "who cares." I told her I was bothered by that but to no avail. So I just stopped. It was all my fault because the same thing happened previous time we talked which was a year ago.
Man I have a 2 year old with this girl, I did some things wrong and took her for granted but also found out she was fantasizing over other people and wanting me gone the entire time. I don’t deserve that, but I can’t let it go in my mind because I want my family together. If she took all the blame off of me and acknowledged what she did and was willing to work on things we could be great. I know I need to just keep doing as much NC as I can in hopes to maybe one day move on or leave it to the universe but I have to see her constantly and we always have good times together but the few times I’ve tried to broach the subject I’m met with aggression and telling me how much she never wanted me. WTF is wrong with me
Thank You coach Lee , if I didn’t have the history ? the answer is No! He isn’t a shining Gem I’ve heard it said Take the Shine off of them The right person wouldn’t dump Me or Ghost Me
- Let go of the pain. Its not helping only dragging you down. - You can feel better in seconds and be over the person. Think that its possible. - Does the hurt bother you? Dont care about the hurt. Adapt a “so what” attitude. Yes I hurt but thats ok, its a breakup. - If I had no history with this person would I still want them? - The right person would NOT LEAVE. - The right person would not care if you are needy he would just be happy to hear from you. He would want to comfort you. If they need space there is something wrong. Not a sign of a healthy relationship. Consider leaving and not taking them back even if they try to come back. They will not say ”maybe I will come back in the future”, ”I need to work on myself” thats just wrong. Everybody needs to work on themselves all the time. - You dont disappoint them by not hurting. Its ok to stop hurting. - You survived this before. You forgot about it before. Let the logic decide. - Are there unsaid things that have not been said before. - Separate the pain from things that have been said. - Stop giving it energy. Talk about it, stop talking about it. Dont give it energy by talking about it. - Is this feeling real? Or is it only chemical? -Is this person the right person? The right person would not leave.
Want to feel better but have had enough. And don’t or didn’t want such painful drama from them anymore wanted the to learn and understand a bit more. So didn’t I just had to leave. Maybe he needs to grow .
I'm back to your channel again after 1year of a beautiful relationship I had, now it's over. But hey, if any interesting lady here will like a chat let's connect
Thanks coach Lee, particularly like the focus on moving on this time and not really about getting them back. After 3.5 years I got broken up with over WhatsApp, then she refused to speak to me on phone or even see me face to face. I went NC then realised I was blocked, so do I really want to be with someone who can switch and be so cold. No thank you!!!! Still hurts a lot everyday, wish could stop overthinking about it
How long does it take until you finally feel free and stop associating everything in your life with your ex? Until you free your thoughts from her world and don't miss her so much that you reminisce, feel pain, and experience incredible nostalgia? I know that over time and with self-improvement it diminishes, but does this unbearable feeling ever go away completely? Will I ever be able to see another girl and live my life again without feeling connected to my ex or feeling guilty or that there's an unfulfilled love? Do you understand what I mean? I imagine this question troubles many people around the world.
Then you for all your videos. Please make a video on all our possible reactions when the ex does make contact eg. On a birthday. Some people just say thanks and never hear from the ex again. What is the best response not to seem needy but also not to come across as cold?
For me it is very bad First I needed space from my gf and was always compalaing she refused she said if I move out she will break up with me then she broke up with me after a month and it just broke me completely she blocked me the same day kicked me out from the house coz I tried to reconcile Bu I do not know what to do begged and pleaded did everything broke no contact 3 times, the longest was a week.
hi coach lee. thank you for making this video for all of us who are struggling. its almost 2 months now of no contact since he decided to end our relationship but i still find myself stuck on him. i have a question though (anyone can share their answers, it would be a big help for me to get some clarity). when you say “no contact” does this mean he should NOT see me online on messenger, and should i unfollow him on instagram and stop viewing his stories? i dont want to be that person to block/unfollow cause he might think i’m bitter or mad at him. or can he still see me online on messenger without talking to each other? is that still considered no contact, coach?
@kheicee I would be interested in coach’s (surely better) take on this than mine… it’s probably best that you do not see his content in the context of not giving him your energy. He should take minimum possible space in your mind. (Especially since you still find yourself stuck on him) If you are CERTAIN that you never want to get back with him, blocking him makes sense. On the other hand, if you want to leave open future communication, just unfollow instead of blocking. But ask yourself the question posed in this video, “If I had no history with this person, and I knew he was going to treat me this way, would I even want to meet him in the 1st place?”
@RealCoachLee Thank you so much for a healing video! I have a question though. If your ex is the dumper, and then you start talking, but you as the dumpee say that you need space because you're going through a difficult time, does that make the dumpee the dumper and the dumper the dumpee?
Important question Coach. What if she broke up with me because her religious differences and pressure from her family to break it off with me? What do I do?
All you can do is bow out gracefully and see if she can actually live without you. If she is miserable ENOUGH she will stand up to her parents. if not, she probably won’t. I wish I had a more optimistic answer.
Coach Lee, I made my ex jealous by pretending to be with another guy and now I really regret it. Do I break no contact now? I’m so upset and confused with what to do
What about a man that keeps taking an ex back ? She always cheats on him goes silent he’s in pain so when she returns he craves her so bad he is weak and takes her back … so sounds like she’s abusing no contact or maybe naturally she does it she begs for the first day after being caught then says something like ok I’ll give you what you want goodbye I’m sorry . Completely falls off the face of the earth maybe spotted on a dating app but that’s literally it no call , no Text no social media returns and in one conversation she takes him back when he swears he wouldn’t … what does this mean ? It’s sad some use no contact but for bad unless she is a narcissist maybe ? I don’t want to jump to that label it’s so common but I really need to help my friend . When she goes silent he’s forced into no contact and he’s not good .
Questions about affairs. 1 Is it turth that Not every affair involves sex. ARE still affair or do people need sex for affair or cheating to happen ur not 2 can people have affair or Cheat on someone without having no sex 3 .If i was dating Morgan i starting seeing my ex boyfriend Stephen start to make emotional attachment to Stephen i when i know him from school to college by texting him and meeting up and talking to Stephen on phone and thinking about him and watching films with him without never never having no sex ? Is it emotional cheating
about your second question there are many types of cheating Like your partner is on dating sites being emotional attached to the other person Flirting with other persons and many more.
Coach please I need your help. Jan 2nd my ex reached out after not speaking for a week and invited me to her daughters 3rd bday party which is coming up next week and wished me a happy new year. We texted a little after but We haven't had any contact in 10 days. Should I go? Should I reach out to my ex and see if the party is still on or not go at all. Im tempted to not go at all.
Hi Zay. If you agreed to go, you need to either go or tell her that you aren’t going to. Remember, you can join my support community at LoveDynamics.com.
Hi coach Lee, I really regret the way I treated my ex (taking him for granted, being selfish, causing fights for no reason) we be been together for 5 months and broken up for 6 months, is it too late to apologize? He’s already deleted me from socials
@@RealCoachLee that’s true , is there a way to write a short apology to not sound like begging, I just want to apologize and end the chapter this guilt is weighing on me :((
@@dinosauce8097 I would just say all that. If he broke up with you, you can say you know you can do better if you ever get another chance and they can let you konw if they ever want to talk. Don't ask him to take you back.
Coach Lee, you are the GOAT!! It's been a year & 9 months of NC after a 22 yr relationship & as I've told you before, you literally saved my life. I still think about him, but he is still with the person he left me for, I've accepted it.
"If someone needs space from you, something is wrong." I chalked it up to his introversion and my anxious attachment style, but you reminded me that the right person won't want all this space and my love won't be too much for them. Thank you for your videos. They are a healing balm for my aching heart.
I like what he has to say about the "I need to work on myself" excuse. You are going to work on yourself indefinitely. My ex did this. She told me she doesn't want to be in a relationship right now because she wants to work on herself. When I asked why she can't work on herself while dating me, she couldn't give me an answer. She just constantly gave me excuses without any justification. I tried to fight for her but now, I realize that maybe she wasn't the right one.
Please help me sir God knows how much I love my husband Been faithful loyal sweet to him. I make his favorite food. When his ready to take shower I get ready his towel clothes to wear. Scrub his back. Put socks on. Sweet. What I have done to him. Why he left me. I'm not perfect I know. But I deserve to know the reason. Why he left me. Why he keep the key for our place. And never blocked me. I'm really sad. Pain. Everything. Please help me give answer. I file a divorce is that good idea. Please help me to get thru this pain.
@RealCoachLee I can't wait anymore to my husband to call me or text me. I'm.having a hardtime to fight over it. Start being lawyer ti get over it. Is that good idea. I haven't call him since April 1 also on his birthday April 3rd. His not going to answer to my call anyway Really painful. I miss him so much. And love him to death. Why he blocked me on his phone. Why he has the key for our place. Please sir give me hope.he left with saying word. No fights. Atleast tell me what's our issue then sort it out. Atleast I know my problem. I will accept it. I keep praying to God. For us heel us.
Wow, coach Lee went REAL deep with this one. It's like he is talking directly to our subconscious. I will be forever grateful to this master of psychology, telling us things our soul already knew but couldn't put into words. This is a great comfort and comprehensive enough that even the smart ass people like me can't argue with it.
@@ABCD-uq3ol It took me 3 years since the breakup for pain to sort of normalize. I still hurt but less compared to what it initially was. Healing is a slow process. Take your time.
@@desmondbaxter2449this comment was on my mind all day. Yes, despite it being my birthday and people thinking i am happy about it. But I am not. I am hurt probably beyond point of repair and I don’t know how to move on from this pain, I am basically enduring it in hopes of the pain not changing my core and belief. He betrayed me in the innocence of our love and I feel used, he used my love and innocence for us. And a year ago today, he contacted me on my birthday promising me changes for us and 1-2 weeks later he broke up with me again, he did this three times in total of 7 years relationship. So I am in pieces and trying to just heal from this unimaginable pain and no, I promise you, I didn’t do him any harm. In fact, my clean conscious is all I have left. Coach Lee once said on one of his videos about feeling a shift of motions and momentum once the process of no contact takes place. I am in that momentum but together with my pain. That’s why I was so thankful for this video today of all days. Because today of all days, I feel my pain the most.
Coach Lee thank you so much the point that helps the most is “if you didn’t have history with them and you heard they did this to someone would you want to date them” absofeckinlutely Not!!!
For me it was a 'click' in my mind, that no matter what I do or how much I try, my ex is never going to be the person I could love, or who could make me happy, being incapable of forming true connection, intimacy, trust, etc. I felt deep acceptance, even grace. From this moment I just knew I'm going through the break up, and it won't be a linear line heading up, but it will come and go in waves. I cried, I missed them, but I was also getting better day by day with this acceptance and knowing I'll get over them.
@@nasser1982 yeah self respect comes first, 90NC wow ur strong. I knew one thing when she left me , I was like she'll regret one day . I was loyal and faithful to her even till now I haven't text any girls but in her case she's been going out, she got like 100plus guys in her contact , that's how the fight happened when I caught her flirting behind my back, all I ask was to remove those guys as it's disrespectful but she remove me instead 😅 yet before it was her begging me to stay with her when I knew about her past , now she left me once I start loving her...promise to get married with me yet her guy friends are more important than me...do you think its true love??😅
@@teresarivera1164 I met her 2 weeks ago , I ask her about the status of the relationship, she is not sure about it , I'll suggest anyone going NC is to try to keep going ahead , if u want to reach out go ahead after 2 to 3 months , but dont expect so much....mine is confused and it's been days now she never mention anything about us , im just living on false hope....at this point. I'm moving on as well
Hey JJ, how’s it going? I understand your pain. I Hope regardless of the outcome, you’re in a better mental state. I’m right at the start so I know I have a lot of pain but I hope there’s brightness at the end of the tunnel.
The best breakup and relationship coach I ever come across on UA-cam! 👏👏 He is very knowledgeable and insightful and gives all information with integrity unlike other self proclaimed coaches who may mislead people with incorrect information just to gain popularity and money! Listen to coach Lee folks! He is the real deal!
@@RealCoachLee Coach Lee my ex came back after 2 weeks of no contact she was the pursuer initially but I kinda took over and was a step ahead she still seems a little distant what should I do? Could continue dating her make her loose even more interest?
Thank you so much Lee for all you do! Recently went through a break up not even 2 weeks ago and just went no contact after finding your videos and I can already feel the tides changing and he is continuing to reach out and I don’t even open the messages & I’ve gone from feeling pathetic to empowered more everyday I don’t break no contact. Your videos have completely changed my approach around to the right way. ❤
I am going on 3 1/2 years trying to get over my Narc. Moving out of my condo where there were memories, helped a lot. But far from over him regardless. Almost two weeks ago, I found out he died. Because we had no contact for a few years, and he had moved 6 hrs away, I think that helped me not to fall apart as bad as I would have, had he'd been here and close by. What scares me is I feel like I lost hope because there is no chance for any reconciliation. Not that there was a chance anyway but I hoped just maybe. I feel more dead than he is right now. I may never recover from his death even though I may have recovered enough from him leaving me to be functional. I worry it will hit me hard when I least expect it. I am in denial.
Oh, this was an extremely helpful video, I'm seriously considering a consultation but with the current economic situation, it is nearly impossible for me, so I just type on all your videos and pretend you are my therapist & I talk to you too, you just don't hear me, I am going insane.
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My therapy for the last 2 months. Big buddy
I cried in the car listening to this entire video. Every single point hit me right in the feels.
Thank you for making this video coach. I desperately needed to hear this. You just saved me.
🙏🏼
My pleasure. Watch it often. Blessings.
1. You Have to Want to Feel Better 0:16
2. You Can Feel Better In Seconds 3:18
3. Does The Hurt Bother You? 4:30
4. If You Had No History With Them 7:02
5. The Right One Won't Leave 8:30
6. Is The Pain You Holding The Torch? 11:58
7. You Survived This Before 13:46
8. Are There Unsaid Things? 16:03
9. Stop Giving It Energy 17:32
10. Is This Feeling Real? 18:50
God bless you, thank you so much.
@@thandimokoena1157 Of course! You're welcome and God bless, my friend.
It's been 6 months since my ex dumped me. I thought he would come back. It's the worst heart break I've ever been though. But I am so grateful to coach Lee and hate to think where I would be if I didn't have his great advice and wisdom. Thank you coach Lee, I'm so grateful to you. ❤
Thank you for your kind words. Please share this video with anyone who needs it.
Thank you coach lee!
@@danielceron584 good luck to you Daniel, I really you find some one great, heartbreak is so costly!
@@RealCoachLee Thank you coach Lee!
I’ve survived this before. However, this was years of a beautiful relationship. Both in our early 50’s, with common goals and expecting to be the last one. I accepted him to friend zoning me for over a year after the breakup.
I decided to establish NC a month ago. I am not willing to give him my energy nor my time.
Pain is chemically based. Redirecting my thoughts. Finally opened to allow a great man that is willing to walk the walk with me ❤🎉
Thank you Coach Lee. I’m a veteran with PTSD and your videos have helped me tremendously. They might have even saved my life. Thank you for what you do.
Thank you so much for your service and your generous tip! I'm honored sir.
Thank you coach Lee, I was dumped 18 days ago after four years and your videos saved me, to be honest I was living with the hope but after 16 days I saw her again and she was dead cold I read her a final letter were I apologize and take my part, she cried but said that in the 16 days she didn't even though once about me, that was the words that were enough for me to realise that It was a waste of time to be affected by her and I deleted all our pictures the same night.
This video come in the perfect time for me
Amazing ❤
@@helenan866 Thanks I hope you can also progress well in your healing journey, all my thougts are with you and everyone else, we are in the same boat but we're gonna make it :D
Heartbreaking
Talking and journaling, was very therapeutic to me, every time I shared at the LORD was healing me.. TALKING, praying and hearing other peoples experiences also really help me as it was with them..
I am in a support group right now. A grief class. Oh it’s just wonderful. I encourage everyone to get into a grief class no matter what your pain and loss is. We need to grieve or we will get into addictions, and I do not want that. I hope this is helpful..
It took me time, but then I met the one that was even better sweeter. And now I'm very happy so gentlemen don't give up. There's always someone better
Can I ask where you go to meet new people? Like what are some good options for meeting new potential partners? Because I don't even know where I would start, when I get over this, and am ready again. I hate the social media thing that everyone does now, so much!!
So timely! This video is an answered prayer.. Thank You Coach Lee, your lessons I will carry with me for a lifetime and pass on to my daughters! Tried and true!
I've let go a long time now and I've even forgiven.....and I'm moving on.....coach Lee vids has helped me through the entire process of 7 months and some may say it's not long but it was very long for so much pain and once I let go I realise that it's was a game changer and I focus on me and my growth.... And it's been awesome
Can’t wait to see this one! I believe I need to get over her in my heart in order for me to redeem my dignity, and redeeming my attraction.
To her, and to others.
I’ll be posted up for this one Lee!
This is exactly what I needed to hear, four months after he ended the relationship without leaving everything on the table. THANK YOU. ❤❤❤❤
So much painful truth! Ouch. But i love it!
Im suffering in no contact but I definitely feel better knowing she is getting zero satisfaction in knowing im thinking about her.
Me Too! 🎉😂
Coach Lee is right about everything he talks about in his videos. I went no contact with my ex and just after 4 days she reached out saying we were making a mistake. In my heart I knew it was too soon and I told her that I wanted time to love myself again before I’d want to get back. So now I’m here, trying to get over something I could’ve had. It sounds crazy but Coach Lee 100% knows what he’s talking about.
Can't believe I'm going through this again.. But I'm so so grateful for coach Lee. I would be so lost and going about things all wrong if it weren't for this channel
Hard huh, so aggravating lol because you just want them out of your head!!!!
@@bladimiragurcia4720 yep especially at night when it's all quiet and you just wish you could turn the thoughts off.. Sometimes I just fall asleep to Coach Lee's videos 🥲
Hey coach Lee, I’ve been listening to your videos every time I break up in the past 5 years. I truly appreciate you so much and feel like you’re an old friend who’s always here supporting me whenever my heart breaks
This break up is so much more painful then breaking up with my ex husband of 27years.
You say, be kind ,someone can be kind up to some limit,but out of limit we can not show kindness.
Hey coach! Been watching you for awhile now. Thank you! My ex cheated on me and left me for him after we were together 14 years. And now they got married and he has her on meth! But im still going thru hell trying to heal.
It's been 2 years now. I haven't heard anything from her. Nor, have I texted or called her either. She wrote me off like I never existed. I'm sure the drug usage has alot to do with it.
DAMN. Viewpoint #4 got me man
This one was hard to listen to at times but it's exactly what I needed and made me feel seen and understood and hopeful. Thank you. It really felt like you were talking to me.
Best to know they ain't sh** and that you r better than them. THIS IS HOW
Coach Lee, thank you for all these absolutely awesome messages, your way better than any counselor or even antidepressants, I am already feeling some relief from my partner who lived with me, I thought she really loved me till she packed behind my back , THAN had some girl pick her up im front of my house with me standing there in complete shock 😢Wow what a blow to me, without your videos im not sure how I would be right now , but I see im walking away from this evil person who has no soul.thank you coach Lee
Its difficult for me when I dont have a before situation to compare with, this is a completely new challenge in my life.
this speech is just pure gold.🙏🙏🙏
Thank you! So insightful about pain and separation.👍It can also be pain from a separation in your childhood, you perhaps isnt aware of, triggered after a separation as an adult. I have experienced that and it was much easier to handle when I understood the source.
,
thank you, Coach Lee. I'm still healing from a breakup and this video really spoke to me. Thank you.
Coach Lee, this video is SUPERB!! Helped me a lot! What a blessing! I’m grateful for your support. 🙏🏻🙏🏻
I appreciate the kind words and am glad it was helpful!
I need to listen to this at least 10 times in a row.
Thank you, for this information because I now have the self permission to stop giving the breakup more energy and I believe the facts and I will continue healing now because I know the cause of pain, the brain chemical and that it's not real towards the other person now I can stop beating myself up emotional for the wrong person who I would tell someone else if they hurt that they can heal and move on. I will heal and move on, thank you Coach, I can breath again, thank you Coach!!!!!❤🎉
Please do more videos like this because it helps more people like me to be able to see things clear in a different perspective. Thank you coach Lee😘👍🙏
She said "no calls" and when I started to reflect on that, it means she never really loved me and the pain from that realization is so intense that I feel like crying... I just couldn't let it out :(
she loved you, otherwise you wouldn't have been here EVER.
@@Niwweleg Well, if you love someone you'd want them to be in touch with you. You'd want to hear from them. We did eventually get on the phone for 4 hours only after she allowed it and she'd act like we're about to marry, but she always does this where after we have our calls she'd just go cold and barely responds to my texts. Yesterday, she sent me a sticker that says "who cares." I told her I was bothered by that but to no avail. So I just stopped. It was all my fault because the same thing happened previous time we talked which was a year ago.
Wow, love this video. You make so much sense coach Lee
This is one of your best Coach Lee. I appreciate you
Thank you for your kind words Dean!
Thank you for this very important video. Honestly, what would I have done without you Coach Lee. thank you…
Man I have a 2 year old with this girl, I did some things wrong and took her for granted but also found out she was fantasizing over other people and wanting me gone the entire time. I don’t deserve that, but I can’t let it go in my mind because I want my family together. If she took all the blame off of me and acknowledged what she did and was willing to work on things we could be great. I know I need to just keep doing as much NC as I can in hopes to maybe one day move on or leave it to the universe but I have to see her constantly and we always have good times together but the few times I’ve tried to broach the subject I’m met with aggression and telling me how much she never wanted me. WTF is wrong with me
I need one where it helps to get over an abusive ex. Because evidently my trauma bond has messed me up waaaay too much.
Thank You coach Lee , if I didn’t have the history ?
the answer is No!
He isn’t a shining Gem
I’ve heard it said
Take the Shine off of them
The right person wouldn’t dump Me or Ghost Me
Thanks ,this is one of your best videos ,thanks again ❤
- Let go of the pain. Its not helping only dragging you down.
- You can feel better in seconds and be over the person. Think that its possible.
- Does the hurt bother you? Dont care about the hurt. Adapt a “so what” attitude. Yes I hurt but thats ok, its a breakup.
- If I had no history with this person would I still want them?
- The right person would NOT LEAVE.
- The right person would not care if you are needy he would just be happy to hear from you. He would want to comfort you. If they need space there is something wrong. Not a sign of a healthy relationship. Consider leaving and not taking them back even if they try to come back. They will not say ”maybe I will come back in the future”, ”I need to work on myself” thats just wrong. Everybody needs to work on themselves all the time.
- You dont disappoint them by not hurting. Its ok to stop hurting.
- You survived this before. You forgot about it before. Let the logic decide.
- Are there unsaid things that have not been said before.
- Separate the pain from things that have been said.
- Stop giving it energy. Talk about it, stop talking about it. Dont give it energy by talking about it.
- Is this feeling real? Or is it only chemical?
-Is this person the right person? The right person would not leave.
Great mental help man
Thank you, dear coach ❤
You have been stating sensible and true things
Want to feel better but have had enough. And don’t or didn’t want such painful drama from them anymore wanted the to learn and understand a bit more. So didn’t I just had to leave. Maybe he needs to grow .
Thanks helped me get good perspective.
This was super good sir. Ty
I'm back to your channel again after 1year of a beautiful relationship I had, now it's over. But hey, if any interesting lady here will like a chat let's connect
thank you so much for your videos
you cant imagine how much you help!!
Thanks coach Lee, particularly like the focus on moving on this time and not really about getting them back. After 3.5 years I got broken up with over WhatsApp, then she refused to speak to me on phone or even see me face to face. I went NC then realised I was blocked, so do I really want to be with someone who can switch and be so cold. No thank you!!!! Still hurts a lot everyday, wish could stop overthinking about it
13:42 i needed to hear that, thank you
I do need space in my relationships... I'm an introvert. We are all different.
Im dying inside.
Thanks!
Thank you Coach Lee ❤ will do my best on this one 😊
Thank Coach ❤
More please 🙏
How long does it take until you finally feel free and stop associating everything in your life with your ex? Until you free your thoughts from her world and don't miss her so much that you reminisce, feel pain, and experience incredible nostalgia? I know that over time and with self-improvement it diminishes, but does this unbearable feeling ever go away completely? Will I ever be able to see another girl and live my life again without feeling connected to my ex or feeling guilty or that there's an unfulfilled love? Do you understand what I mean? I imagine this question troubles many people around the world.
Then you for all your videos. Please make a video on all our possible reactions when the ex does make contact eg. On a birthday. Some people just say thanks and never hear from the ex again. What is the best response not to seem needy but also not to come across as cold?
Thank you ❤
So I'm on pain so what... thank you coach Lee 😢
It has been over a year and I still hurt sometimes and think about him every day how can I stop ??
For me it is very bad First I needed space from my gf and was always compalaing she refused she said if I move out she will break up with me then she broke up with me after a month and it just broke me completely she blocked me the same day kicked me out from the house coz I tried to reconcile Bu I do not know what to do begged and pleaded did everything broke no contact 3 times, the longest was a week.
Thank you
hi coach lee. thank you for making this video for all of us who are struggling. its almost 2 months now of no contact since he decided to end our relationship but i still find myself stuck on him. i have a question though (anyone can share their answers, it would be a big help for me to get some clarity).
when you say “no contact” does this mean he should NOT see me online on messenger, and should i unfollow him on instagram and stop viewing his stories? i dont want to be that person to block/unfollow cause he might think i’m bitter or mad at him.
or can he still see me online on messenger without talking to each other? is that still considered no contact, coach?
@kheicee I would be interested in coach’s (surely better) take on this than mine… it’s probably best that you do not see his content in the context of not giving him your energy. He should take minimum possible space in your mind. (Especially since you still find yourself stuck on him) If you are CERTAIN that you never want to get back with him, blocking him makes sense. On the other hand, if you want to leave open future communication, just unfollow instead of blocking. But ask yourself the question posed in this video, “If I had no history with this person, and I knew he was going to treat me this way, would I even want to meet him in the 1st place?”
@RealCoachLee Thank you so much for a healing video! I have a question though. If your ex is the dumper, and then you start talking, but you as the dumpee say that you need space because you're going through a difficult time, does that make the dumpee the dumper and the dumper the dumpee?
It can flip the tables like that, yes.
@@RealCoachLee thanks for answering. That's really good to know!
Important question Coach. What if she broke up with me because her religious differences and pressure from her family to break it off with me? What do I do?
All you can do is bow out gracefully and see if she can actually live without you. If she is miserable ENOUGH she will stand up to her parents. if not, she probably won’t. I wish I had a more optimistic answer.
What about the things that were unsaid or things they said to us that hurt? How do we let that go???
I have a question coach lee, What do I have to do with all the things and pictures we have together? Do I have to throw it all away?
That’s not an easy thing to answer. If you are still holding out hope of reuniting, hang on to it. If not, yes if you want.
Coach Lee, I made my ex jealous by pretending to be with another guy and now I really regret it. Do I break no contact now? I’m so upset and confused with what to do
What about a man that keeps taking an ex back ? She always cheats on him goes silent he’s in pain so when she returns he craves her so bad he is weak and takes her back … so sounds like she’s abusing no contact or maybe naturally she does it she begs for the first day after being caught then says something like ok I’ll give you what you want goodbye I’m sorry . Completely falls off the face of the earth maybe spotted on a dating app but that’s literally it no call , no
Text no social media returns and in one conversation she takes him back when he swears he wouldn’t … what does this mean ? It’s sad some use no contact but for bad unless she is a narcissist maybe ? I don’t want to jump to that label it’s so common but I really need to help my friend . When she goes silent he’s forced into no contact and he’s not good .
I want to feel better, but the rest of the advice is BS. I've heard it all before, and it has been nine months. It took years to get over my first ex.
"In a dungeon of emotion" 😅😅😅😅😅
Questions about affairs.
1 Is it turth that Not every affair involves sex. ARE still affair or do people need sex for affair or cheating to happen ur not
2 can people have affair or Cheat on someone without having no sex
3 .If i was dating Morgan i starting seeing my ex boyfriend Stephen start to make emotional attachment to Stephen i when i know him from school to college by texting him and meeting up and talking to Stephen on phone and thinking about him and watching films with him without never never having no sex ? Is it emotional cheating
Do u love Stephen if yes then yes it is
about your second question there are many types of cheating
Like your partner is on dating sites
being emotional attached to the other person
Flirting with other persons
and many more.
An Emotional affair is an affair without sex.
@@_Diaryofwealthyes i do love stephen
Coach please I need your help. Jan 2nd my ex reached out after not speaking for a week and invited me to her daughters 3rd bday party which is coming up next week and wished me a happy new year. We texted a little after but We haven't had any contact in 10 days. Should I go? Should I reach out to my ex and see if the party is still on or not go at all. Im tempted to not go at all.
Hi Zay. If you agreed to go, you need to either go or tell her that you aren’t going to. Remember, you can join my support community at LoveDynamics.com.
Hi coach Lee, I really regret the way I treated my ex (taking him for granted, being selfish, causing fights for no reason) we be been together for 5 months and broken up for 6 months, is it too late to apologize? He’s already deleted me from socials
It is never too late to apologize but he may reject you and u have to be prepare for any upcoming circumstances 💗
I agree. It’s never too late to apologize but that doesn’t mean he will take you back.
@@RealCoachLee that’s true , is there a way to write a short apology to not sound like begging, I just want to apologize and end the chapter this guilt is weighing on me :((
@@lel517 thank you ❤️
@@dinosauce8097 I would just say all that. If he broke up with you, you can say you know you can do better if you ever get another chance and they can let you konw if they ever want to talk. Don't ask him to take you back.
Why is it hard when a kid is involved. He is just a trash and my ego is fighting hard.
Is suggest you watch this video all the way through ua-cam.com/video/flXMJxzIDH0/v-deo.htmlsi=BIghXE2uqz9ZEDwN
This.
This looks like AI. If not, plz let me know so I can continue listening.
Point 1 is so valid
Ladies just work on yourself and say NEXT
Coach Lee, you are the GOAT!! It's been a year & 9 months of NC after a 22 yr relationship & as I've told you before, you literally saved my life. I still think about him, but he is still with the person he left me for, I've accepted it.
Thanks!
"If someone needs space from you, something is wrong." I chalked it up to his introversion and my anxious attachment style, but you reminded me that the right person won't want all this space and my love won't be too much for them. Thank you for your videos. They are a healing balm for my aching heart.
I like what he has to say about the "I need to work on myself" excuse. You are going to work on yourself indefinitely. My ex did this. She told me she doesn't want to be in a relationship right now because she wants to work on herself. When I asked why she can't work on herself while dating me, she couldn't give me an answer. She just constantly gave me excuses without any justification. I tried to fight for her but now, I realize that maybe she wasn't the right one.
The truest thing here is: "You've made it through before" is key. For those who haven't gone through a breakup before, it does get better.
It definitely does even though it feels like a permanent pain. It is not.
Please help me sir God knows how much I love my husband
Been faithful loyal sweet to him. I make his favorite food. When his ready to take shower I get ready his towel clothes to wear. Scrub his back. Put socks on. Sweet. What I have done to him. Why he left me. I'm not perfect I know. But I deserve to know the reason. Why he left me. Why he keep the key for our place. And never blocked me. I'm really sad. Pain. Everything. Please help me give answer. I file a divorce is that good idea. Please help me to get thru this pain.
@RealCoachLee I can't wait anymore to my husband to call me or text me. I'm.having a hardtime to fight over it. Start being lawyer ti get over it. Is that good idea. I haven't call him since April 1 also on his birthday April 3rd. His not going to answer to my call anyway
Really painful. I miss him so much. And love him to death. Why he blocked me on his phone. Why he has the key for our place. Please sir give me hope.he left with saying word. No fights. Atleast tell me what's our issue then sort it out. Atleast I know my problem. I will accept it. I keep praying to God. For us heel us.
We're married for a long time. 24 years . Help us please
@@yolandacastaneda4482😢hey it's been 3 months, any progress?
Wow, coach Lee went REAL deep with this one. It's like he is talking directly to our subconscious. I will be forever grateful to this master of psychology, telling us things our soul already knew but couldn't put into words. This is a great comfort and comprehensive enough that even the smart ass people like me can't argue with it.
Fellas Step Up.
She left you once……Don’t give her the opportunity to leave you twice.
Move on and become Better in every aspect.
I've been listening to you for 8 years now and you're never wrong coach.
Please dont tell me this is gonna be like this for 8 years 😂😂😂😂😂
@@ABCD-uq3ol nah, not everyone who watches these videos is going through the same situation. To prepare for the future is always wise.
Your comment made me laugh
You will get through it abc.
@@jayweaver4394do people not know how to reply to people anymore
@@ABCD-uq3ol It took me 3 years since the breakup for pain to sort of normalize. I still hurt but less compared to what it initially was. Healing is a slow process. Take your time.
May this be my birthday present.. Thank you.
what if you were the one inflicted the wounds?
@@desmondbaxter2449 I wasn’t. Trust me.
@@desmondbaxter2449this comment was on my mind all day. Yes, despite it being my birthday and people thinking i am happy about it. But I am not. I am hurt probably beyond point of repair and I don’t know how to move on from this pain, I am basically enduring it in hopes of the pain not changing my core and belief. He betrayed me in the innocence of our love and I feel used, he used my love and innocence for us. And a year ago today, he contacted me on my birthday promising me changes for us and 1-2 weeks later he broke up with me again, he did this three times in total of 7 years relationship. So I am in pieces and trying to just heal from this unimaginable pain and no, I promise you, I didn’t do him any harm. In fact, my clean conscious is all I have left.
Coach Lee once said on one of his videos about feeling a shift of motions and momentum once the process of no contact takes place. I am in that momentum but together with my pain. That’s why I was so thankful for this video today of all days. Because today of all days, I feel my pain the most.
Happy Birthday!
@@karenhill2174 🙏 thank you
Thank you, Coach! I was hoping for more videos about moving on. If you could do more, it would be greatly appreciated.
Have you seen this one? If so, it’s a good idea to watch it again. ua-cam.com/video/9zxmgER6ddI/v-deo.htmlsi=JZotB45PVEgdHhxL
Coach Lee thank you so much the point that helps the most is “if you didn’t have history with them and you heard they did this to someone would you want to date them” absofeckinlutely Not!!!
this hit me too ...like a sledge hammer
For me it was a 'click' in my mind, that no matter what I do or how much I try, my ex is never going to be the person I could love, or who could make me happy, being incapable of forming true connection, intimacy, trust, etc. I felt deep acceptance, even grace. From this moment I just knew I'm going through the break up, and it won't be a linear line heading up, but it will come and go in waves. I cried, I missed them, but I was also getting better day by day with this acceptance and knowing I'll get over them.
The worse feeling is forcing myself to unlove someone who's everything to me...i hope we all get through this hard time , its been 47days NC for me
True. But no need to force the unlove. As a dumpee, Forcing self-respect is what made it easy surviving 90+ days of NC. Hope the best for u. 🙏🏼
@@nasser1982 yeah self respect comes first, 90NC wow ur strong. I knew one thing when she left me , I was like she'll regret one day . I was loyal and faithful to her even till now I haven't text any girls but in her case she's been going out, she got like 100plus guys in her contact , that's how the fight happened when I caught her flirting behind my back, all I ask was to remove those guys as it's disrespectful but she remove me instead 😅 yet before it was her begging me to stay with her when I knew about her past , now she left me once I start loving her...promise to get married with me yet her guy friends are more important than me...do you think its true love??😅
How’s it going
@@teresarivera1164 I met her 2 weeks ago , I ask her about the status of the relationship, she is not sure about it , I'll suggest anyone going NC is to try to keep going ahead , if u want to reach out go ahead after 2 to 3 months , but dont expect so much....mine is confused and it's been days now she never mention anything about us , im just living on false hope....at this point. I'm moving on as well
Hey JJ, how’s it going? I understand your pain. I Hope regardless of the outcome, you’re in a better mental state.
I’m right at the start so I know I have a lot of pain but I hope there’s brightness at the end of the tunnel.
The right person would want to spend as much time as possible.....I really needed to hear that.
I thought of him every minute of today and yesterday..
I just cannot forget him ..
Thank you coach Lee
The best breakup and relationship coach I ever come across on UA-cam! 👏👏 He is very knowledgeable and insightful and gives all information with integrity unlike other self proclaimed coaches who may mislead people with incorrect information just to gain popularity and money! Listen to coach Lee folks! He is the real deal!
Thank you for your kind words Marilyn!
@@RealCoachLee Coach Lee my ex came back after 2 weeks of no contact she was the pursuer initially but I kinda took over and was a step ahead she still seems a little distant what should I do? Could continue dating her make her loose even more interest?
Thank you so much Lee for all you do! Recently went through a break up not even 2 weeks ago and just went no contact after finding your videos and I can already feel the tides changing and he is continuing to reach out and I don’t even open the messages & I’ve gone from feeling pathetic to empowered more everyday I don’t break no contact. Your videos have completely changed my approach around to the right way. ❤
no contact doesn't mean not responding to messages-- but of course that might still be your choice
1st day today of going no contact... Thank you for this very nice tips, i will keep repeating them so it can help me heal.
I am going on 3 1/2 years trying to get over my Narc. Moving out of my condo where there were memories, helped a lot. But far from over him regardless. Almost two weeks ago, I found out he died. Because we had no contact for a few years, and he had moved 6 hrs away, I think that helped me not to fall apart as bad as I would have, had he'd been here and close by. What scares me is I feel like I lost hope because there is no chance for any reconciliation. Not that there was a chance anyway but I hoped just maybe. I feel more dead than he is right now. I may never recover from his death even though I may have recovered enough from him leaving me to be functional. I worry it will hit me hard when I least expect it. I am in denial.
Oh, this was an extremely helpful video, I'm seriously considering a consultation but with the current economic situation, it is nearly impossible for me, so I just type on all your videos and pretend you are my therapist & I talk to you too, you just don't hear me, I am going insane.