Is It Fair to Expect Women to Always Be a Man’s Peace?
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- Опубліковано 15 вер 2024
- Is it true that if you’re looking for a man who can “handle” you, you might not bring peace? Plus, we reveal some of the naughtiest things we’ve seen in someone else’s phone!
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#relationships #peace #nudes
Not every man wants a "spicy" personality and that's okay. That doesn't mean they’re insecure or feels threatened. Each to their own.
Thank you ! A lot of people looove to pose as "strong personality" But it's mostly just an excuse to be rude, loud, impolie, just a bitch/mitch
I don’t notice that
Right
Well put...
I hate this idea that if a man doesn’t want to accept something in a woman, he’s insecure.
No it’s not. Men (primarily black ones) keep throwing out “I want a woman to be my peace”. That’s nonsense. Half the time they aren’t creating peace yet have this demand of women. What they tend to mean by that statement is: don’t question me, don’t challenge me, dont have a problem with anything I’m doing, don’t share your opinion, say yes to everything I say.
Exactly! As soon as you disagree with something that they say the man is like well I'm not into drama
💯
They want to do EVERYTHING and you just sit there and be quiet
They want peace because they have to deal with stank attitudes
Exactly 💯💯💯👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
@@25fadeaway From whom?
Expecting someone to your peace is a lot to ask. Find peace and happiness, your partner should just be an addition to what's already there.
Thank you!!
Faxx
You said it all!
Yeah you're right if you rely on somebody to give you happiness you'll never find it trying to find it in a person or relationship and you got to find it in God and then yourself first and you can't rely on it once you are happy then you can be happy with somebody else
So tired of hearing that crap
What happened to people having peace within themselves before looking for it from someone else?
No one can be/bring/give you peace. Peace comes from within. -- Whoever's energy helps you sustain your inner peace is a compatible match. 💖
Preach!
Yh but don't mess with his peace
I'm not hard to handle or deal with first of all. But I love a take charge man who will tell me if I'm wrong and basically put me in check from time to time✅😂
*WARNING TO MEN:* If a woman wants to be beaten by you or other men, _STAY AWAY!!_ You’ll either go to jail for abusing her or for trying to protect her. If she tries to start fights in a club, in a parking lot, in the house, in the car, in the laundromat, at Walmart, at church ... Walk away. Literally walk away from her AND the relationship. None of this “holdin’ her down” or “ride or die” BS. *trust me* It’s not worth it and _she’s_ not worth it.
That’s a warning to everyone. Stay out of abusive relationships, physical or otherwise.
Right. I talk to my son all the time about that.
@@ruckes13 About what?
@@ceterisparibus8966 to walk away from a girl so he will not go to jail. Because nobody is worth going to jail for. And never turn his back on a woman. Walk out the door backwards.
It's usually the men who expect the women to be ride or die not the other way around 🙄
I agree "the woman has to bring the peace" is tired. Both should bring peace
IT GOES BOTH WWAAYYYYs … let go of the gender and treat people like you want to treated .
This! Exactly.
Bingo!
So so true 👍🏾
If you are expecting someone to be your peace or only source of happiness that makes you codependent ! The only thing that makes a relationship is two whole people coming together to make one whole relationship
Exactly 2 ppl coming together both working on the same goal
That part
Exactly 💯 💯
A woman ñeeds to be a man's peace,and a man needs to be a woman's peace.As simple as that,a relationship works both ways....... Let me edit this...My point is everything works both ways,stop putting it on women in this case,to be the ones being peaceful.Your partner also has to bring the same energy.We already know 1 sided behaviour or effort dose not work well in relationships.
you gotta be your own peace before you’re anyone else’s anything!
Reciprocity is key!!!
There are flaws in that logic....I don't think it's either of their job to be each other's peace that's God's job to me.....expecting fallible limited people to soothe or comfort you all the time is exhausting......Be someone's peace means don't bring them drama and unfortunately being in a relationship means baring one another's burdens with tender sympathy and even accountability if necessary......Because of this, it's not always possible to be in a peaceful state. This expectation is disproportionally placed on women though which I feel is very sexist......Men aren't really told they need to be a women's peace......it's usually demanded of women.....be submissive, never argue etc......it's also problematic because narcissistic profoundly selfish people can use the saying, "Be my peace" to suggest that you are never allowed to challenge or critique their behavior in any way. no matter how wrong their behavior may be.........If u do, they claim u are not fulfilling your duty of being their peace.....
@@TayTaeM absolutely agree with you.
@@amissteree absolutely x
No, simply because no person can be anyone's peace just like no person can be anyone's happiness. It's all about how you mesh or clash.
@Glory Roads and make sure you're not doing anything that makes a woman complain ! Because men who feel like having a drink around their women usually are irresponsible and a pain in the ass.
Loni is GLOWING! I love that she does her own makeup 🙌🏿♥️
I agree with Adrienne If u feel like expressing opinions to your guy is going to be seen as "yapping at him" or nagging him or be construed as you starting an argument, that's not a person that respects you and your voice and the relationship should end. But unfortunately that's what a lot of egotistical people want, "yes" people that are going to flatter them all the time and make them feel like they are right even when they are not.......women deal with this a lot more than men because so many religions say standing up for yourself or speaking your mind to your husband is a sin no matter how wrong his behavior may be.......I do NOT believe this was God's TRUE intention but the toxic patriarchy has tainted everything including religion. It's sad that so many women are basically treated as children instead of the grown women in marital dynamics and told to be silent and serve their husbands without resistance or question .......don't bring him any problems etc etc.....meanwhile, he can bring you all the problems in the world and you are supposed to do nothing but withstand it ALL with a smile on your face and calm forgiving reassuring words.....it's cruel and unfortunate.......I do agree with their comments at 3:21. What about women's need for peace does everything have to be about fulfilling a man's needs.??? I think it's arrogant for men to expect women to be their peace and place of comfort....It's like, sorry dude, my name isn't Jesus Christ.......that's His job
💯💯💯👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Adrienne, LOVED what you said and you looked gorgeous saying it. That was a great perspective ❤️
💯💯👏🏼👏🏼:)))
The only Man I look to for peace is JESUS; and the peace He gives me divinely enables me to identify any person whose presence in my life seeks to erode this peace. Then I cut the person off and love him/her from afar if he/she is family; and if they aren't family, then I wish them all the best in life and move on. That's how I guard my peace. Thank you Jesus 🙏🏾😊
Preach Sis! I completely agree.
You cannot say it better than that sis.
Amen.
I already have peace within myself I don't need a man for that.
I’m a lot to “handle” on my own, but I am all for peace in my household. I make it a point to approach life differently when it comes to my husband and my son. They have enough to face when they leave the house everyday. Why add to it?.. On another note, is it just me, or is Adrienne getting prettier as she ages? 🤨😍❤️
If a woman says, “I need a real man who can handle me”, then that’s not a woman. That’s a child who still has temper tantrums and emotional issues that need to be dealt with by a psychological professional and a religious leader (if you believe in any religion).
If a man says, “I need a woman who can be by my side to help me be the man that I know I am”, then that’s not a man. That’s a child who’s been enabled by his mother or a female authoritarian. He also has issues and needs help from a psychological professional and spiritual/religious leader.
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼💯💯💯
tea!!!
Do men EVER bring peace to women’s lives?
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Right that part!!
It takes the right type of man for that but u need to have ur own piece and if u don't have that no matter who comes in to your life it will never b no damn peace.
@@sofiabutterflies1635 facts.
Some men do. Some guys make you feel so secure and happy. We are just so used to the drama that we think it is part of life.
Define yourself Adrienne...I loved it
I have gone on several dates and been labeled difficult because I asked questions and I think through everything, and I definitely have unpopular options most of the times. It’s taking me a long time to understand it’s not my fault, maybe these men are insecure or simply aren’t for me. I have been advised to not be myself because men don’t want an opinionated women.
I have others who find me fascinating with the same qualities but it just didn’t work. At this point I don’t think dating or marriage is for me.
Nice to see you here True Vonne. Don't worry, dating and marriage is not for me either. Perhaps that will change in a decade or so...or when you meet the right person.
@@nanaobben5166 true
Garcelle stay be saying little freaky things that everybody misses, lol.
Yep lol
I’m with Adrienne on this, I think they meant it in that way
Tamar Braxton is a woman who has to constantly be handled, and does not bring peace.
How you know that? When she say that?
@@xoangelicaf0523 That's the energy she brings to everything.
Exactly lol
To be a man's peace, he has to be her peace also. ✌🏾
There are a lot of immature women who feel like being contentious is a sign of strength. They will _forever_ have problems. Can’t let yourself get dragged down with them. And ain’t nothing “passionate” about them. They’re hostile and damaged plain and simple.
All of your comments seem hostile. Go to therapy.
I think both mutual people need to have peace within their selves and then come together. Don’t go into a relationship knowing you have a bad attitude or like Loni said “nagging all the time” and by doing that you are disturbing the other person’s peace. And there should be a clear distinction between being a confident out spoken person and just being a rude mouthy headache WHICH GOES FOR BOTH SEXES NOT JUST WOMAN. Because sometimes people like to confuse the two or act like they are confident when in actuality they are just a loud negative person
Why does Adrienne try hard to push the “spicy sassy” personality lol. It’s cringe sometimes
So true ... it looks so fake coz you can clearly see she’s actually not like that at all
Maybe because she is a shorty and wants to be seen like a mature woman, as she's previously mentioned
@@evelyng8923 Or maybe it's just simply because she obviously has a short person's complex & doesn't want to be left out of the whole entire conversation, That's why.
Because she just simply thinks it's both CUTE & FUNNY but it's NOT anymore.
That’s her entire personality lol. She’s a spicy sassy Latina from New York.
I love this conversation because being in relationships where a man is like “you’re too much for me to handle” is a lot… but finding the man ( been with him for 5years now) he knows how to handle my attitude, how I want attention, know how to deal with me without being disrespectful is a huge blessing! Honestly I just feel like it’s about finding your right person, cuz everyone was not made for everyone!!
Yeah that's what it is do.you have a additude tho
@@NorthPhilly-zr7xc yeah I do because even tho I’m in a relationship I’m not good for him if I’m not good for me first so sometimes Ill get an attitude with him for decisions him and I both make but him knowing who I am first, he knows how to deal with those emotions and moods! And He’s ok with having to deal with that.
@@TayTaeM that's great and that's all that matters
@@NorthPhilly-zr7xc that all everyone deserves!!
@@TayTaeM I agree sis!
100% agree with Adrienne on what she said.
Garcelle's ponytail is the cutest! I love this. Just wanted to point that out.
You can look at that statement in different ways. When I think of being able to “handle” someone, it might just be “can I deal with this personality?” Not everyone is compatible and that’s okay. Some people are intentionally difficult, but the reality is that we’re all human and we’re all different. People are attracted to different things and what one man can’t “handle,” another man may desire and go looking for in a woman.
Absolutely!
Garcelle was like...why her!?!🤣
I need my daily dose of Jeannie beans!
Absolutely loved this hairstyle on Garcelle😍😍.... Her hair pulled back 👌👌
Men like peace for the most part, no one want to come from working hard and deal with bs at home
We all crave a certain amount of certainty and uncertainty. Too much uncertainty is chaotic. We need to bring peace to one another
Expectations on either gender isn't fair
Speaking as a man, we don't want women that we have to "handle". It's not attractive, it's not an endearing quality, it's not someone that you want to be the future mother of your children. His women everywhere saying this comment as if it's something that men actually want.
I saw the quote as if he can't handle who I am, all of what makes me me, then I won't bring him peace nor will he for me. If that's the case we are not compatible as this will bring more issues to a potential relationship.
I'm with Adrienne. And for me if I man is going to "check me" then he needs to be able to do it without exploding or belittling me. He will have his peace as long as he doesn't disturb mine.
My client wanted me to take a picture of him in his new work uniform to send to his girlfriend. In the preview frame before I took the picture, I saw a picture of his thumb. I thought to myself, "Why would he take a pic of his thumb"? After taking the picture I realized, that wasn't his thumb.
@UCYhzI8CJCfVrGDpaYUbkjrQ the question was have you seen something on someone's phone that you shouldn't have seen. Yes. I saw my client's dick pic, but at the time I thought he took a picture of his thumb.
The peace part has nothing to do with work that was about the first topic. My man is entitled to his peace just as long as he doesn't upset mine. So basically as long as you don't act up, then I won't either. We will have a peacefully cohabitation.
"He will have his peace as long as he doesn't disturb mine" I heard that👏👏
Nah. Those people are annoying as fuk
i wouldn’t say handle, but i like when my man asserts his dominance. and he doesn’t have to make a big show of it either.
I think "always" may be overkill. But generally speaking, YES!!!
Why do our feelings as men not matter? Why can't people understand that there are things we desire as men that draws us to women, that makes us not gay? And the thing we desire is not something daunting or superficial. It's simple, practical, and has substance. And it makes for a better character and a better relationship. But yet, we can't ask it. Why should we dedicate our lives to someone like that?
I’m curious how you classify bringing a man “peace”? What should a woman be doing to bring peace?
Basically being a cooperative, drama free, emotionally mature and agreeable woman
@@nepps6766 I'll give two explanations. The first is practical. The second is Biblical. They both tie into each other.
A man goes out into the world and has to deal with all types of hardships. He sees all kinds of bad things and people. When he sees a woman who has good character and who is sweet to him, loving to him, and helps him out, she is a light in a dark world, warmth in a cold winter. She is the place where if there isn't any other place where he can find happiness or relief, he can go to her.
Now to the Bible. In Proverbs 31, the first thing it says about a virtuous wife and her husband is that his heart safely trusts her. She is a safe haven for him emotionally. The second is she does good for him and not evil. She has his best interest at heart and he is better because of her.
Conversely, in Proverbs 21:19, it says it's better to live in the wilderness than to be with a contentious and angry woman. And in Proverbs 27:15-16, it says a contentious woman is like constant dripping on a rainy day and restraining her is like restraining the wind. Who wants that all the time?
In Proverbs 31, a virtuous wife fears Yahweh, and she is praised. And in Psalm 33:11,13-14, it says: "Come, you children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the Lord. Keep your tongue from evil, And your lips from speaking deceit. Depart from evil and do good; Seek peace and pursue it."
Now, "Who can find a virtuous wife?"
Exactly
@@shakurioguhebe8533 thank you. Men bring war to their homes but expect the receivers of their war to be peacemakers. Not even Ghandi and Martin can do that.
Two diff conversations. It's not about a Man getting physical, most of the time women mean, "can he handle my sassiness/attitude". I don't agree with being sassy, it's not a cute trait, its immature. I also think that being someone's sole reason for peace isn't your job. However, if you love a Man you should WANT to be peaceFUL to him.
Loni is an extreme feminist, not everything has to be man vs woman. She has such a disdain for any ideal in favor of Men.
Which is the ideal you're discussing?
I don't think "handling" someone isn't just about being opinionated. In that case you want open minded and compromising. Handling implies taking control regardless of opinion. Very 1950ish.
Confidence and being too mouthy are two different things
Loni always had a friend lol 😂 love Loni ❤️
She has lived, that's why.
@@teimatata
She's yet to live 🤣🤣
Those that 've really lived 're too old to remember that they actually had a friend.
I actually remember her stating this before.
"Be his peace" to me is no different than "happy wife happy life". Its just a saying that is a healthy mentality if done within reason and boundaries. Nothing to get too bent out of shape about.
I think y’all taking “be his peace” too literally. I think men just want a woman that doesn’t add drama to their lives and can maybe help him with the drama that’s already there. That’s what that means to me.
Exactly!
Yes
For a man “adding drama” is anything outside of complete agreement with him on every subject.
@@iriemo721 Just because your dad and the men you've been with have like that, don't drag our men into it. Speak for the men in your life.
@@iriemo721 I don’t agree with this. There are a lot of women who over react and are overly emotional for no reason or bc of past trauma. This is what I’m talking about.
“Why her?” That was so shady, hahaha.
Adrienne looks so good! Gorgeous Mrs Houghton! Absolutely gorgeous 😍
Date people to see who you match up with... she said it best.. date.. nowadays people are settling for anything and being lonely in a whole relationship or being lonely emotionally or spiritually or mentally or be still struggling financially in a whole relationship.. so idk but date.. get to know people and see what is best for you
Miss Jeannie bean 😞Great convo ladies
Realtalkkim can’t even keep a marriage so let’s consider the source
I seriously be ready to throw hands on someone when they start swiping when I just tried showing them one picture. You going to disrespect me to my face because I have to be standing close to you to be handing you my phone
I am, by default, non-confrontational. I don't go out of my way the stir things up, or look for arguments. With that said, if my man expects me to be his source of peace that isn't going to work. I get that people have stresses and want to come home and relax, but if I am his only source of relaxation, do you not know how much that can take a toll on a person.
My dad for example, he was diagnosed with MS when I was 11 (I'm 30 now), through my teen years, my mom, my sisters, and myself tried to make sure he wasn't stressed out. But it got to a point where it felt we couldn't have bad days because he would be like "I can't take this, right now" or "Well at least you can still use your legs". Or we couldn't show that his sickness had an affect on us too. We couldn't be too happy, because it reminds him how he couldn't do certain things. It just became so much that none of us really have a strong relationship with him anymore.
I applaud my father for living with this disease and trying to keep pushing, but he should go to therapy or support groups and not dump all his stress on his family.
Adrienne looks so stunning 🔥
Let's go to truth ... The Lord said that He is the Person who is our peace full stop. We are to support each other in walking with Him and embracing His peace.
I LOVE 💕 Real Talk Kim. Although, she’s actually a major pastor/preacher with her own church. I also agree with her to an extent.
Adrianne talking about herself.lol
yeah you can tell by her gestures of being annoyed 3:47 the girl is triggered by "hard to handle"
loved Adrienne’s point of view
You are so so beautiful Adrienne ❤️
Women are not animals that need to be handled, your parents should have taught you how to “handle” yourself. She looking for her DADDY, not a husband. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
We are animals though lol
@@devin3955 some of us arent
Not swiping when someone shows you a photo is a given.
When you about peace , they are about craziness!
"If he don't hit me he don't love me." Know some wimmen like this that if the guy don't they will start some ish.
Be peaceful, yes. But, your whole peace comes from God and the work you put into you.
This topic went WAY over all their heads.
Calling it now Adrienne is 🤰🏻
Loni been low key trying to play Adrienne lately
What Adrienne said
Noone wants someone they have to CONSTANTLY tell to stop talking to me like that or why are you giving me all this attitude all the time. Nobody wants that. Its childish.
“Handle” is such an aggressive word. I agree with Garcelle that your partner should put you in your place when necessary. I like what Adrienne said about your partner “handling” your personality, but that is just not a good word to use here. It makes it sound like they tolerate you instead of love you.
Loni gave me a cackle with "Be that man's PEACE" because that's the advice many are out here giving.
But give me Peace for $500, Alex.
I think someone isn't always peaceful. but most of the time? yes
How about being compatible, supportive and a person of integrity. If you are those things your partner will trust your opinions when you have to " check" them...and when having a hard day your partner can love up on you and be supportive.
If you’re okay with fighting and domestic violence … it’s giving No self worth , Toxic , Sad 🤷🏾♂️ !
At a point in life and growing old one wants ones spouse to be like this is who I want you to be.
You need to be your own peace ☮️ never depend on anyone other than God to bring you peace as people will always disappoint
I feel like Loni's story wasn't true. Lol.
Same but I do know plenty of women who think like this.
My mom was like that. Thank God for growth but some people are conditioned to believe that a man has to hit her. I am so happy that we are living in a more enlightened society
Lying Loni has returned lol
@@devin3955 😊😊🥴🥴😁
*You can't be a mans peace if he is not at peace with himself!*
I don’t need a woman to be “my peace”, but don’t be my chaos either.
I agree with Adrienne which is rare
Loni lies so bad! Lol
I be swiping and looking
I think some of the comments think that being a man’s peace means that he’s not at peace without you. What men want is a woman not to bring drama, which some woman can bring.
I'm not a child to be put in check or a animal to be handled. I'm not a pick me but I'm also pretty no nonsense as well. A man for me can have conversations with me about what they see same as I will with him. Its not checking. Its being adults and making accountability for what we do or say a thing...
Being a man’s peace to them is exactly what Adrienne was saying…. Not having an opinion
Yes Garcelle preach!
I'm tired of hearing it as well!
I knew this women who was proud of her bruises her husband left. I mean showing them off proud, as if he bought her the moon. I could never understand.
Men need to learn to be a woman's peace.
Right it's sad. Alot of eomen think if a man doesn't hit them they don't love them. Or they're not a man. And anyone I have dated are too insecure. I am a Tomboy and I dress in a way I get more attention from men. And I don't let men call me out my name.
A man should NEVER have to “stand up to me”. That’s the stupidest thing in the world. You aren’t a man, and you shouldn’t have masculine traits. If men wanted to date someone like that, they’d date men. Being feminine is the ultimate sign of humility. Woman don’t know how to be accountable. It’s not insecurity. These men are just smarter.
"Handling" can also mean bejng confident and secure enough to not be threatened by a woman who is smarter, more successful, more assertive in life, wealthier, more connected, etc than the man is. Its not all about attitude.
women who say " I want a man that can check me"are weird
Exactly. Check yourself. You’re a grown woman. They wouldn’t want men who talk like that because they want men to be able to handle themselves.
I love you ladies. Good topics. Everything y’all said I agree. Ladies get a man that respects your thoughts and can handle your opinions. Two, don’t swipe! Also “hide” your secret photos iPhones have the option. ☝🏽
When HE says “she needs to be my peace” or “a woman has to be peaceful”. It means for me He likes drama, or awaiting drama from you whether you can or will give it or he had previous relationships where the woman have daddy issues, trauma some type of inadequacy/petty/whiney attention seeking disrespectful spiteful behaviour . So the man secretly likes it …it pumps him up to feel like a man he can handle her ESPECIALLY if the woman only posses physically stunning or attractive traits in whatever way to him but at same times it’s draining to him. But he likes it but wanna front to new women or freinds family .. I’m looking for peace, my next woman needs to be peaceful blah blah blah. As everyone else is saying in the thread one way or another… peace is naturally needed in everyone’s life. Toddlers needs space and School children damn lol. As for a spicy,confident, sassy respectfully, assertive women I def don’t believe he’s talking about those types. Because if he is … it means you can’t handle a self assured bold woman. So he’s a little whimpy weed in disguise playing man. He wouldn’t be able to have his own mind and communicate effectively with a emotionally intelligent woman. No thank you.
If I’m too much to handle then go find less…✌🏾💜