How To Stop Feeling Lacking and Worried About Being Single (Stop Feeling Lonely)
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- Опубліковано 29 лис 2024
- This video will help you to immediately stop feeling lonely, lacking, & worried about being single by exposing you to some radical truth
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Noah Elkrief
• How To Stop Feeling La...
This video is meant to show you how to stop feeling lonely and how to deal with being single. If you are single and feeling lonely, it is not caused you being single. You are only feeling lonely because you're believing thoughts in your mind about how great being in a relationship would be and how bad being single is.
The answer for how to stop feeling lonely is to recognize that a relationship can't make you happy. Plenty of people are feeling lonely in relationships, and everyone in relationships still has all the same thoughts that cause all of our unwanted emotions. - Навчання та стиль
I dont think its fair that we're chemically wired to crave love if some of us aren't meant to ever experience it.
Mixing romantic desire and sentience was a BAD idea.
Fam be happy atleast you doesn't have social anxiety disorder.
I rejected 4 girls including my crush.
You mean wired to crave sex?
You just took the words right out of my mouth.
rational being you mean life sucks
Never be ashamed of being single because not all people who are in relationships are happy and contented. Don't compare your life with others because we all have different paths to take in our life.
I have a sister who goes out of her way to show off because she's married and I'm not. And it's not just her, when I'm in public I feel like couples go out of their way to be sit near me or be near me so I can watch them smooch or show off their bouquet of roses. It's like they want a built in audience. I don't mind being single although I'm not opposed to having relationships and I can usually ignore these circumstances but sometimes it's too much.
Dx3
ACt ja
Stfu
You need to be a bit sceptical about the happiness of all couples. All is not as it seems on the outside.
Easier said then done
I've started beginning my day by:
-Having no screen time
-Verbalizing what I am grateful for
-Listening to music that makes me happy.
-Reminding myself that this is the good part!
i am going to quit social media and wil learn to be happy being spend time with me and beng grateful for what i am have
How inspirational
My friends keep getting married left and right. Can't help to feel bad to remain single and lonely.
U r not the only 1. I'm this way too.
I am going through the same thing and so depressed because I can't keep anyone interested but I am good at being left!
Feeling the same way right now. It feels like everyone is getting on with their lives and you're just stuck in a waiting period.
Same feeling too
Me too guys. The guy I like lives in another country and I haven't seen him in over 1.5 years. I get plenty of social interaction via work but I truly miss being in love. And making out with someone. Lol. Plus i just turned 34 and feel anxiety about having a family. Ugh. Stupid life.
I don't want a stupid relationship, I just want a friend! 😔
Awwww really I will be your friend
Same , specially from opposite sex
Bro the best friend is a pet trust me it is
@@x1beguile313 so true.
That's a relationship.
I feel very lonely too. I've locked myself up in a room for almost a week untill today I finally found the courage to go out for a walk in the city. One of the first things I noticed was there were others sitting alone on benches, terraces, etc... It made me feel a little bit less lonely and more at ease with myself in less then 30 minutes. The sun was shining, so that felt good too. I kept walking and tried to force myself to smile at other people, make eye contact, or just say hello to someone. But I couldn't do it because I have so much social anxiety and low self esteem and I couldnt look at other people's eyes for over a second. Plus most of them just avoided eye contact. But then something weird happened. All of a sudden, out of all those people walking around in this shopping street, this older women which I had never even noticed or seen coming, stops me dead in my tracks in front of me and she says 'hello'. So I'm like, euh... yeah? hello...and I smile at her. She smiles back at me and walks away and that was that. Then this wave of pure happiness came over me. Somehow that 2-3 second event completely made my day. Out of all those people out there this women picked me out to say 'hello' to. It's hard to describe what I felt next, but it almost felt like God does exist, and he saw how I was struggling with my loneliness and he sent her my way to acknowledge me.
It was God.
That's cool!!
Let’s talk bruh
Wow nice ❤
It's depressing being by myself. Everytime I try to get in a relationship something always get in the way and go wrong. I hate it. I'm very unhappy being alone. It's driving me insane.
Felt
Why is it you're unhappy being alone? Being alone grants so many possibilities. Freedom to do what you want, when you want, take on different hobbies, move away and experience a new place, learn more about yourself through introspection. You have to learn to be happy alone and love yourself. If you can't love yourself, how can you expect someone else to love you, or for you to even love someone else. Create a life of your own that you want someone to share with you. A life someone wants to share with you. I don't want to surmise too much, as your comment is from 3 years ago, but you quite possibly unconsciously self-sabotage those possible relationships. I wish you happiness and prosperity, my friend.
@@Banana_Cognac I have. I'll just try to focus on me and God especially. I just enjoy the hobbies I do and be patient. I feel like a different person now. Life is too short to be depressed like I was in the past. I truly thank you so much my friend for your encouragement. Ive prayed and ask God for patients on waiting for someone and He blessed me with patience. 😊
@@noway2009 that's great to hear, my friend. Keep the faith in God and stay strong, brotha.
It was me, until I got a ridiculous girlfriend, she's so outrageous and upsetting me all the time, and I just not having the gut to breakup with her yet, for your problem, there are two ways that can help you either you learn by the video, build a health and positive cogitation in your head, stay away from negative media influences, follow someone like GaryVee, his ideas really save my negative ass. Then you'll be away form unhappiness, or you'll get a gf and try it yourself, you're gotta learn something in it either way, if you find happen to find a shitty gf you'll think the same thing in my head, or you'll know something that you thinked in the past is wrong.
I find it difficult just to have a decent social life while single, let alone a relationship (granted I live overseas, in a non-English speaking country where I have more limited choices in 'friends', but I find that couples hang out with other couples, mothers make 'play-dates' with other mothers, older people get together with their kids, family, partners...etc. Whereas, singles don't have as many other singles to connect with, especially if you are older (mid-30's) It's almost like you aren't fully part of the rest of the world.
30 n single might as well be 50 and single....it feels as if your gonna die alone.....it's a sad reality
What about singles' groups or meetups that focus on singles or just events or hobbies that people enjoy together. In France, I would recommend On Va Sortir.
I can relate to that, real life is not like movies, people avoid each other as much as they can, i totally agree as an adult you feel isolated and alienated .
Even when you try socialized, like meetup groups and events, people make you feel left out
Hello gorgeous
Togetherness is Everything. A Good Life Partner Can Change Your Views About Life. And eliminate insecurities from your Life. May We get one soon. Amen.
That would be nice if "togetherness" worked for everyone.
Yeah, it's just about shifting where you put your energy and effort. Instead spending so much time trying to find a romantic partner to make you happy, you can put forth some energy toward trying to directly eliminate the thoughts that were making you unhappy.
Great video! Thankyou! It helped loads!
DUDE YOUR MUCH MORE HELPFUL THEN ALL MY FRIENDS !!!!
LOOOOOL
I don't have any friends
Josh can I be your friens
Josh Paul yes I'm always money🙁😢
Ahahahhaa
I am genuinely happy with life, but I do wish I had someone to love.
Hello gorgeous
Noah, your inner strength is quiet and calm, yet it shines magnificently bright. Thank you.
You're welcome Tal
Agreed, although from other videos it does appear that he has a gf...
I'm alone and unhappy, I have not had a friend for over 3 years and have never had a girlfriend. It all happened I need the last year of school at first I thought I could deal with it but now most nights I go sleep panicking that I will always be alone to the points sometimes were I start crying.
I'm alone too
hehe
It's nice to be alone with God
Being single for 3years thought me a lot of things
you are not the only one dude :(
Callum Curtis Not the only one
Callum Curtis Same
😒 I feel you
goddamnit life is so complicated
ikr 😭😭
Ledeni 1100 you should ask for forgiveness for taking the lord's name in vain or your after life will be even more complicated!
Not ich bin
Right!! Amen
Understatement of a lifetime.
Was friendzoned days ago and still am sad abt it. She was the flipping onnne. Godammit
She was not the one because it didn’t work out. Good luck.
Wow i watched like 100 videos trying to figure out why can't I find somebody. Now this peaceful video made me realize that it doesn't change anything. I'm happy now:)
seriously why do women pretend they cant find a man ? i mean its just so obviously not true, the only people who struggle to get a date and the only people who have a real chance of being alone forever and dying alone is men, women can get a date within 5 mins of stepping out the house, men sometimes wait 10, 20 30 years, or even a life time without having anyone ever ! it annoys me when women complain they cant find anyone, because ive been trying to get a date for well over 20 years and have had nothing but rejections from all the women i asked out ! ill bet you my house you can find a date withing 5 mins of being out and that i wownt ever find even a date never mind anything else ! women are so proveidged it makes my blood boil when i see them pretending they are loanly !
Yeah he's awesome 😊
@@mcpartridgeboy how about dating me? I'm the ugly girl in China
Just cause people may ask her out doesn't mean she can't be lonely. It's a different kind of problem for sure but its still a problem.
@@gniLX no one is ugly who ever said that to you has a very little mind , people either like or don't like other people it doesn't mean you're the problem
I only need a best friend with whom I can share my thoughts and feelings....
So do I!!
It's been a year you've posted this. I hope that by now, you might have found an amazing best friend to share your thoughts with ! 😊😊
You have a point here but I feel you took it too far. Its about degrees of fulfillment and satisfaction in life. Im single and would never think of a potential relationship as alleviating ALL of my sources of unhappiness. But it can be a significant contribution to a healthy, supported, comfortable life. A relationship adds degrees of satisfaction in the unique ways it can. I haven't found anyway around that.
Completely agree. I want a relationship because it feels good to love someone and be loved in return. I don't expetct the other person to make me happy. Thats my responsibility.
Dude, you just made my day, week, month, year and life
Peter Stone :) Glad to hear it Peter
You have no idea how much your video helped me.
I haven't been this happy for 3 months now!
Thank you so much.
I find it hard to believe that someone with your beauty is lonely or alone. Usually people who look like you are bombarded with admirers. Granted, there are a lot of fake people out there. But you will have many opportunities to meet new people. Unlike me who is already older, a little wrinkled, short, and not a model. I have tried everything under the sun to meet just one person who can be normal. So far nothing. Oh well good luck.
@@jonvolcaman9309 beaty isn't everything.
I already got asked by 6 girls
Including my crush.
And i had to reject them all and new friend cause of my social anxiety.😫
@@Moesiesame here man. I get approached by girls and have options but my anxiety means I hardly ever go
Through with dates 😢 being good looking and shy sucks.
@@Johnphilips1234 go to prostitutes
THANK YOU! You litteraly just changed my point of view on love/marriage.
We are the only ones in control of our thoughts and our happiness.
You truly are a lifesaver, again, thank you!
Hello gorgeous
This guy is a genius.
Victor Mendoza :)
Well hello!
I don't understand how what I just went threw being shocked at the fact that I feel she put Lil effort to fix the fighting. One day says I'm done gt out. 3.5 yrs,strate, moved away together,Noe she's just not happy an I feel betrayed even tho I want her to be happy but feel I am the one to do that period. An I no that sounds totally messed up when she's not even happy. The bondbwe built was strong an I feel she's mentally prepared this. Crazy trying hard to move out an on. Shocks me still tho don't understand.
Victor Mendoza Einstein was the real genius. Everyone else including me is pathetic and stupid
mike svensson you never know
Being single and alone causing me to have violent thoughts. It's very depressing.
Almost 19 and I've never had a date... i always feel awkward around other people (especially girls). The problem is i feel like i have nothing useful to say or add to conversations. I'm pretty depressed that I'll never have a girlfriend or even a best friend outside of class. :'c i think it would make me happy if i had someone to talk to or care about. Think about it, i agree you may worry about losing them or something, but it isn't as bad as being all alone all the time.
pezscape If that were true, then noone in relationships or with friends would ever be depressed or commit suicide
Absolutely same. I'm 19 and have never been on a date and would really like to be in a relationship, so all I can say is you're not alone. I like to feel connected to all the people on my position (or even older) and feel the same way I do. It kinda makes it less lonely
me too iam 26 and never got a girlfriend. don't know what to say to them.
Naveen Drall India bro, we live in India
Hey I’m 20 and i never been on a date........
This video kinda helps sooth the mental anguish and worry with being single.
There is still the chemical problem of love. Its like a drug.
There is the chemical problem of needing sex. Its an instinctual drive to find a mate.
This video needs to be watched a few times and really listen to it.
+ThePeacemaker848
Do you think it's possible to be completely happy without feeling appreciated by anyone else? If so, have you ever known anyone who had no friends yet was truly happy?
JaguerRhye
Possibly if your body is not sending hormones forcing you to concentrate on propagating the species. Humans are social creatures so it would be difficult to be happy with no human contact. And just being allowed to be in the same company as other humans qualifies as being accepted.
No i have not known anyone who has had no friends yet was happy. Quite the contrary.
ThePeacemaker848 Ok, I'm just a bit confused why this video seems to be so well received. He talked about people who seem to think that finding a mate will help get rid of all their negative thoughts. I've never known any lonely people who ever believed this. Have you?
I believe he talked about self love and not needing others to love us to be happy. The fact is, you cannot be happy apart from the approval of others.
The cause of unhappiness in lonely people is largely due to a lack of affirmation in their life.
A good, healthy marriage will not solve all one's problems, but it can help provide that needed affirmation we all crave, although not perfectly.
JaguerRhye
From my experience there is 2 types of lonely stages for men.
First, you just start going so long without sexual contact that your mating instinct overrides everything and just makes you focus on sex. This is like the instinct animal side and there is nothing that can be done. Finding a wife would be great but if you can't then finding a mate every so often even for just one night will suffice this need.
Then there is the actual lonely stage where you just want to find someone to love. The video helps with this in that this can be regulated by state of mind.
ThePeacemaker848 Ok, so have you found that you can be happy without anyone loving you? The video asserts to stop being lonely. So have you found that you are no longer lonely if you don't mind me asking?
Man I still somewhere think that I am not good enough and loneliness that I need a woman. It already took some of the load off when I watched this. On point.
I can attest that in my last relationship I was more stressed and full of anxiety than when I’m single rn. I fell into the rabbit hole that I need to be with someone to have a sense of self worth and happiness that’s why we rushed into it without really knowing each other. I’ve been single for about 6 months and I’ve learned a lot about myself and how toxic my last relationship was and how after really knowing her I found more red flags. Being busy with work and other things have kinda shut me out from a lot of social opportunities I know that for now a relationship would do me more harm than good and that I need to know myself and be happy with myself before I can share that with someone else.
The premise that a relationship can't solve ALL your problems or make all your negative feelings go away, and therefore should not be focused on is so flawed. Nobody said it will solve all problems. But it will have a very meaningful effect on very significant problems of loneliness, lack of emotional connection, affection. Being starved of these things is like being starved of food. Your life is draining away. When you get food, it doesn't solve all your problems. But you sure as heck needed it, and it sure as heck solved a significant problem and improved your well being.
Further and on the other side of the coin, consuming too much food, relying on it more than necessary is detrimental to your health. We NEED food, but we don't need to be consuming it at every waking moment. You have other pursuits, and other areas of life to nurture. Likewise, we don't or shouldn't need love 24/7, but we do still need an adequate source of it in order to thrive.
Thank you Noah My 23 year marriage broke up 6 months ago through my wife's continual cheating. I'm struggling to come to terms with the loss but your videos have helped me to understand my emotions.
Hi Paul, glad to hear that the end of your marriage has opened you up to discovering what actually causes emotions and unhappiness. While it may seem as though what happened was "bad", it can absolutely lead you to being happier than you ever were simply because it has acted as the catalyst to get you to identify and perhaps address the real causes of unhappiness. Good luck Paul!
I really needed to see this video. A few weeks back I was so anxious about being alone that I woke up at 4am shivering! Now after seeing this, I realise how I need to change my thinking!
How other see you is not important. How you see yourself means everything. Thanks Noah. :) Stay Positive
Man, how do you just understand this 24/7? This is so powerful, and so true, once you just think about it and analyse it clearly. Thank you Noah, there's no way to thank you enough for insights like this. Clearly life-saving.
Right on Noah! Happiness comes from within. I refuse to let another person be the litmus test / barometer for manifesting my happiness. It's like you give a piece of your autonomy away when you look to find happiness in others. I'm not saying being in a relationship is detrimental, but if you're not happy with yourself first and foremost, nobody else can provide that for you. If anything, relationships / marriage should be looked at like this -- your significant other should compliment you, not complete you. The essence of one's happiness has to stand on its own two feet without anyone else propping you up. It's like happiness is the ice cream in an ice cream sundae, and if you have an s/o, that's basically just the cherry on top. Don't let anyone steal your thunder!
amen haha
I have been guilty of letting other people be an emotional litmus test in my happiness. thanks for this post!!
Hi Maria, It is actually quite normal to find happiness in the affirmation of others. Everyone, including Noah, are ONLY happy because they have a sense of meaning and value to others. I'm pretty sure Noah finds quite a lot of happiness in all the affirmation he receives from having over 139,000 subscribers.
6672rock, Do you think it is possible to be happy apart from having a sense of meaning and value to others? If so, can you site me one person you have known that is very happy and yet has no friends or anyone that he feels appreciates him? Certainly, people with mental disorders may not need any affirmation from other people, but all healthy, normal people REQUIRE a sense of meaning and value to others in ORDER to be happy.
I think by definition, happiness is a mental state only the person themselves can experience and provide. While affirmation of others will improve our mood and outlook and give us positive feelings and even purpose, happiness is an autonomous emotional state. It is a feeling of well being and contentment, an acknowledgement of existence. If affirmation or lack of it sways us to stop experiencing happiness or start experiencing happiness, then we haven't truly acknowledged and owned our happiness.
This person is really helpful. I am going to take a day to myself just to watch his videos and learn from them.
Hello
Hi Claus, a relationship can distract you from your negative thoughts and help to give you some positive thoughts about yourself. That can make you happier. A relationship can also give you a lot more negative thoughts - judging your partner, resenting them, less freedom, worrying about they love you etc. If a relationship can make you happier or unhappier, then it can't be a relationship that effects our happiness, but only thoughts. Being single doesn't make us less happy, thoughts do.
Your videos help me to be happy in life even though I'm alone! I enjoy more to be able to do whatever I want whenever I want to do it whithout having to explain anything to anyone in my home. I can be alone whithout feeling lonely!
That's a beautiful quote. He describes a very direct way to freedom. But, be careful not to confuse "a direct way" with "the best way" or "the right way". Ultimately, everyone has to trust their own experience. If you try any way, and it works, keep doing it. But, if doesn't work or stops working, try something else. There is no one specific way that will work for everyone, every time. See you around.
Thank you for addressing the pressures and expectations of society. I often feel like I...."dont count" because im 35 and not married. Like my life hasnt started. "Oh Andrea, you'll understand when you are married" like im some idiot. It's hard to not buy into the messages society feeds us.
Yeah but I’m better off single
You are really a genius!! I was in heavy depression before seeing this video! Now I’m better and feel happier.. thank You!
No one has ever loved me, though I have loved several others. Just because others can't love you, doesn't mean you can't feel love.
A relationship cannot change all my negative thoughts to positive. Nor eliminate any feelings of lack or inadequacy. Powerful Truth Noah
I needed this. Thank you for posting. I am single for first time in my adult life and I have never known myself as something besides "part of another person." This talk really helped solidify my resolve to stay single until I'm truly ready.
I am very happy to find you. Your videos has been a Blessing to me. Thank you very much for sharing your enlightenment with us.
***** You're very welcome Ricardo
Hi Noah, I have to say that I have spend years and money trying to get the counseling i need for certain issues in my life. Your videos absolutely hit the hammer on the nail for me, I have never listened to somebody who i can relate so much to as yourself!!!.. You are changing my thought patterns ..Thank you so much for your videos!!
Thank you Noah,I have been feeling lacking and worried about being single for a long time, I believe this will help me a lot, a relief and peace come along
I'm glad that this video helped Sylvia!
I want a relationship where both sides of the relationship matter. I wanna have someone to tell me things like I’m loved, I matter, I’m going to be okay.
This video is amazing and exactly pinpointed the issue that I have. I'm so glad this is here.
Hello gorgeous
This is the most helpful video I have ever heard to finally realize which crap in my head does not allow myself not to be fully happy. Thank you a billion!
haha I'm glad I could be of help Zlata
no man is an island that's why I want feeling loved and appreciated
Hello gorgeous
I don't want a partner just to give me love, because I have that for myself. I want a partner to experience things with. Someone to do things with, share thoughts and dreams. What about that aspect? I feel like I am just going to be traveling this life alone forever. That is what makes me achingly sad.
I was kinda sceptic about this video but this actually helped me feel better after a date with a girl that wasn't really what I expected it to be...
Thank you for sharing your advice on this topic.
My friend, as a psychology major and freelance student of psychology I must commend you. Your advice is spot on, mindful, and compassionate. Thank you for what you do.
EconomyFree You're very welcome
Hi Yackshi, there is only one question, What is the #1 thing you hope to get out of this life? For everyone I have ever met, that answer is peace. Everything else that we do is just the means to try and get us peace. But, it's much simpler than that. Believing thoughts prevents peace. You want peace, don't believe thoughts. You don't need any support if you're not suffering. And support doesn't help people to lose thoughts that create suffering. If it did, married people would be happy.
Beautifully said! My engagement to the most amazing woman I have ever encountered has been broken off and I am struggling with this issue....Thanks for your wonderful wisdom towards this subject. I would highly recommend this to everyone going thru a breakup!
TAHME TAYLOR You're welcome Tahme. I'm glad it helped!
i have to say to say your councle was was so good and so true i went through grief panic attacks and loathing myself your talks in short have empowered me and i am getting there! so thank you
Noah Elkrief , uses logic to convey his message and logic is the base for the universe so he is absolutely right in what he says.
I think that. He Expresses the now or present in a logical way, which is why I get it a lot more.
I really needed to see and hear this. Thank you.
You're welcome Rob!
i havent been happy for 6 years :(
+Stewyboy178 me my whole life
same here, I can't remember the last time I felt true happiness and just to top it off: I'm 23 years old, I never had a girl friend, obviously I'm still a virgin. and just recently the girl that I've had a crush on for the past few years, turns out: she's a lesbian and she has a super hot cosplaying girl friend. I stand absolutely zero chance against that... I really REALLY hate my ironic piece of shit life... I'm probably gonna kill myself before I reach my thirties. :(
+Eddy C do u have dreams? i have a tip for u go to events meet people walk alot outside and Travel the world etc
+Eddy C
It's all worth waiting
Haha
Me,myself I'm patiently waitin
suo mynona thanks for the advice.
I really want to thank you for your work, you try to help people and I appreciate that. I found you by accident but I'm happy to know that some people give a large amount of time to find ways to say things the right way to make some people understand how to resolve their personal problems with life.
zomluck You're very welcome zomluck. It's my pleasure to share these videos
Hi Edgar, thanks for sharing. If you can see that you are not the thinker, then that's the end of the story. You don't need to stop believing individual thoughts. But, in any moment that you forget that, you may find it useful to have another way to stop suffering and come back to who you are.
Hey from Greece! You are so right man!!!! Everypody talks about the perfect life but nobody talks about the reality inside us.....bit this truth is hard because i think its difficult to change in subconcious all this negative thoughts....how can you dibelieve them???? anyway i decided to try it....thank you from the bottom of my heart
Noah, thank you so much for this video, in my case I can almost always actually realize that negative thoughts are just thoughts and have nothing to do with reality, however as they come way too often is hard for me to focus on reality and I end up getting confused, as you said. When I made a search on UA-cam, there was a part of me that knew "I was sad/depressed " wasn't real, I laughed several times out loud watching the video(after only a couple of minutes of being sad) and I lost track of your words at times cause I was just HERE :)
Is amazing how well you understand how the mind works and how to explain it. Thank you!!!
Hello gorgeous
Thank you Noah for this video. You are on. I am a recovering AA alcoholic and I 've learned just as many people turn to alcohol for comfort or happiness many people turn to relationships or promiscuous sex for the same reason. In fact one of the biggest addictions in our society is now sexual addiction (There is even a 12 step group for it called SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous). Noah I want to commend you for being bold with these videos because this is not a very popular message that most people can accept. I mean look at some of the comments,how many people resist the truth? How many disagree with you.So many people just hate being alone with themselves and are in prison to their negative thoughts. I think it is a kind of sad reflection of the human condition and how our society/culture still gives the message that you you are not somehow "Normal" if you are happy being single or not married or whatever. Every song on the radio, many movies and romance novels all make it seem that a relationship is the key to happiness. Sometimes it is best for us single people to turn off the tv, or not watch so called "romance movies. Again Noah this is not a very popular message you are sending out there via UA-cam. One question for you have you read "A Course in Miracles"? or "The Power of Now" by Eckhardt Tolle? Both these books deal with changing/monitoring our thought patterns.You seem to be well read or have a background in spirituality or buddhism. Keep up the good work.
gacci777 Yes, we are bombarded with ideas about what is "right" and "perfect". We just have to question it. My content all comes from my direct experience, not from books.
Omg. The best ever put out explanation. It is like simplest thing for dummies... chewed out and put in mouth. Brilliant! I wish u came across this 6 mo earlier I’d save myself some suffering.
Wow. I wish people could watch this and see what you have to say. Sometimes weight and being single don't coincide, maybe I might be overweight but my heart is full and my mind is full and someone who appreciates that will find me. I believe this video has helped so much, despite my families pressure for me to change myself in order of being lovable.
Hi J polanco, relationships don't create happiness because they can't get rid of the thoughts that create unhappiness. And a relationship is not an indication of worth but only whether you are in a relationship
The reason you feel this way is because our society teaches us that it is best to be in relationship and that you should be in a relationship. Therefore, if you aren't in one, of course you are going to feel inadequate, incomplete, and stressed. But, as this video shows you, you will still have these feelings when you are in a relationship... but they will be created by slightly different thoughts.
this was a really good watch and an eye opener. thank you very much for this. i never really thought about it but it just makes so much sense now. i always thought i was unhappy because i never found the right person while in reality its because of how i make myself feel with my thoughts. i have to work on myself and improve my well being mentally, emotionally and physically.
Thank you so much for your videos. They have helped me a great deal and I can't even express my appreciation for them. I wish you only knew how many people you are helping by doing this. Thank you again!
NCGirl9ify You're very welcome. Thanks for letting me know!
Thanks Noah! These thoughts have been revolving around in my mind lately. I needed to hear this. Its a great way to help put things in perspective.
ah I couldn't agree more! Soon I will be single for two years (I'm 25), and all this time I was pretty happy alone and enjoyed my solitude. But in the last few months I noticed that almost all my friends are in relationships, some are starting to get married, and I'm the only one single! Seeing how happy they are together as couples, made me feel bad about myself, I started to have thoughts that I'm single for too long, that I'm not interesting or pretty to anyone, and how much I miss someone to love. And those are pretty sad thoughts... But this video opened my eyes and made me feel good again! Be in love with yourself first, so that you could love others and they could love you back!
Glad the video helped! Thanks for sharing
You just saved me...I was almost dying with thoughts that haunted me of being alone, its really so encouraging, love your video, Now i will try be more happy then just think I am alone and no one to love me.
Neena Megaworld Glad to hear that Neena
This video was a direct hit. Every single word applies to me currently and I needed to hear it.
I'm going threw a very hard road of depression I have seem to be 'better' with the people around me so now they don't bother with me as much.
I dont want a relationship, I just want friends... :(
Thank you so much, Ive been going through so much and this video has just changed my life around just now, my heart is calmer, my mind understands, and Im ready to be happy being single, and know everything is going to be great from here on out... all this time talking to everyone trying to get answers and never feeling whole, but this video was amazing and Id like to thank you!!! God Bless
Noah Elkrief: this video is SOOO IMPORTANT!
Hey Noah! I really like you! Your very intelligent, and really dig deep into what loneliness is-based on thoughts and myths-not what a person knows is the truth. I like this video because it really shows fact, and not some biased therapist who only has an hour to help you. You're right about people not having the ability to make you feel completely whole because THEY are insecure, too, and no one is perfect. Oh and by the way you're really cool and seem like you have a head on your shoulders! I would TOTALLY date someone like YOU!
The basis of your advice is brilliant and very helpful. I'm sure there are many people like myself however, who, despite getting involved in activities we like and trying to put ourselves out there in situations where we meet different people, friendships and romantic relationships either don't happen, or are very difficult to develop. This is despite (in my case) having great conversational skills, being reasonably good looking etc. Even if you eliminate the thoughts about needing someone/friends to be happy etc, for some people it's quite normal to feel alone and for it to become (if it's experienced for long periods of time) depressing.
In a way it just seems paradoxical to experience long periods of being and feeling alone/distanced and isolated and being truly happy. It's normal and healthy to want to connect with people. Maybe talk to people in their 40s and above who have been without a partner for most of their adult life, not having enjoyed the bliss of love/regular sexual intimacy/laughter and a million little things that knowing and loving someone deeply entails, including the ups "and" downs. You admitted you had it all before your breakthrough. i'm just curious how you would feel if you'd had nothing/noone to begin with. I'm guessing your path/outlook would be a little different.
Your videos are helping me so much since im going through hard times in my life. Thank you so much!
Thank you so much, Noah. Sage advice indeed! And it's just what I need to hear at this point in my life. My sincerest thank you!
tplayer73 You're very welcome tplayer. Glad it was helpful for you right now
Im so f*cking happy for youtube! Right now Im at work (I work nights) and I found out a couple of days ago that my SO was cheating on me. I cant decide weather to feel angry och to be sad, or okey with it. As for tonight a friend texted me a picture of him sayin "guess who´s at the same party as me" and I just bursted into tears, Ive been crying on and off all night, but after listening to a couple of your videos I feel... okej? I feel content with it, because I cant put MY happiness in his hands, I was totally fine before him and should be fine now to. Thank you so much
You're very welcome Nina!
OMG Nina it was not the fact that you look so lovely but it was a very funny comment you wrote and im lying here covered in snot and tears crying thats another story when I saw that comment and it made me laugh so thank you, it wasn't this comment tho.
Oh ya the cheating fucker is he mad theres nicer men in the world Nina you don't need him. Well you never did but surely you don't even want him now.
My girl friend dumped me because of bad language if I cheated on her she would have probably cut my balls off.
Haha, thanks alot for your words, you make me smile too! =D Im fine with the cheating now and have moved on with my life, just came back from holiday feeling better then ever. So she dumped you because of language? shit... I have a very bad vocabulary so she would have dumped me too!
Excellent as always. Ty for breaking it down so minutely .. Ty for all your videos! 💕
I agree that another person cannot change your thoughts about yourself however sometimes it takes another person to help you realize you need a change or that you really are unhappy.
I have had numerous small relationships ranging from 3 to 6 months and my biggest relationship lasted 1 years. I have been single for 1 and half year. At first it was wonderful but as time passes i realize that i am feeling lonely, not so much because of the absence of a relationship but more the fact that most of my friends are in relationships and they have little time to hang out with me, of course quarantine has been a terrible experience of loneliness. What i have realized is that there is nothing you can do about it except being patient for maybe a really long time until you bum b to the right person at the right time. So keep being patient you might need much more or much less time than you think to find the right one.
"Just because I like them their opinion need not be more valid than others" this is perfect to come out of break up depression
His voice is so satisfying to hear.
I'm happy the way I am I don't need to be married nobody needs marriage to be happy.
So well thought and well expressed
you didn't help me much, but when I came out of the depression what you were saying was on point. Thanks for doing your thing.
Black looks so good on you Noah!
I'm alone I look in the darkness as i sleep. Somtimes the dark rooms remind me im alone but as the sun fills the room with warmth my puppy snuggles me close I'm reminded that I'm alive this sweet bliss makes the demons of pain hide for I little while
This really inspire me.. thanks sir for your highly motivational advices. Prior to watching this video I had been deppressed for almost 4 years, by the way I'm 23. The reason for my deppresion was because that 4 years are the years that I am constantly hoping that me and my dream guy will somehow to be in a relationship. I can still remember the 1st day we met then we became closest of friends. By the way Im a transgender, and I strongly believed that it is the main cause why intimate relationship for us seems to be impossible since he was a straight guy. As time and years goes by, our friendship becomes strong and the more I fall in love to him (perhaps, I maybe the only one who felt this way). I remember their was a time when were drunk and with all the guts I asked "Is it possible to straight guy like you to fall in love with a gay like?" .. and his answer was shocking "Of course, yes".. but I didnt make any follow up conversation, leaving our topic unanswerable and hanging.. yet, his statement brings more and more hope that maybe someday he will say that he loves. But just recently, I found out that he is in a relationship with a female and it hurt me soo much that it broke my heart. Now, as I watched your video, the feeling of being lonely just bcoz you are single is just a matter of thought. Conditioning one's towards positive thought and forget about the negative thought brought by being single will make person happy and able to think beyond what single people can successfully do without being necessary to be in a relationship. In adjunct, with regard to my relationship issue, I believed that my ultimate mistake was I ASSUMED TOO MUCH.. I tend to forget to use my decission making and of course the other aspect of happiness. You're right, majority of us tend to believed that being married or being in relationship is the only way to achieved happiness which is a absolutely a wrong thought. If we stop thinking about it, and continue to live normally despite being single, then thats the time that we find true happiness without overly thinking about intimacy and loneliness. Thank you once again for this video. You really help us deppressed people in finding hope. I highly appreciated it. ☺☺
The cause of my unhappiness is that I haven't been in any relationship since birth. I want to love and beloved...This isn't working... I wish I could agree with this, but it sucks to be single and not be able to find someone. I am already past the point of loving myself and being proud of who I am and where I am going.
Same here i'm 26 been single since. Never thought about it till recently even tho my closest friends who are all in committed relationships tell me i'll find someone one day. They started worrying about me but i tell them i'm fine but deep down its killing me inside.
i feel you
I know how you feel i love myself so much I just want to be in love with someone and just look at them and smile for no reason and to cuddle being able to hold someone is the best feeling in the world I'm 15 and I want a boyfriend not for sex just to love them and fall in love more and more each day ❤️
I wish I had the love yourself part....but I've been rejected over and over again...getting to the point where I just want to give up
I gotten used being single over the years, I think what made me worry about being single in my 20's, was that everyone that age is married or in a relationship. Even my mom was like you need to start dating and getting a girlfriend. I really think if i was in a relationship it would probably make me happy but then again i would really want this person to accept me for how i am in the inside and not the outside.
You make me happy! Im in love !! 🌹❤️
Terra :)
I'm 29 and expect an online "relationship" I never had a bf. people around me think there's something wrong with me or even saying that no one wants me anyway. It hurts me to not even have someone to hug me. For years I didn't even have friends. Believing the negative shit people said about me, I brought it upon myself to have missed out on the opportunity to finally have a bf...I've felt so ashamed and guilty that I could not tell many people about it. Only thing now is to move on and learn to love myself again and realizing that just because I was never loved that I'm not worthless.
This video made me realize it's just the negative thoughts that cause depression etc. and that they also can destroy an entire life. "You are what you think of all day long"
Me too I am 30 & had long and short relationships. Now for almost 1 years I am open for a bf, but can not meet him. It sucks because sometimes it is not the lonely feeling, but you miss a bf a kind man. I think I am going to go on line dating. Also I am not so active outside, so I have to go out more and do activities.
But people ask so many times, will you marry?will you have kids? And then you have people like you say who are judging. I do not know the answer haha
....and the last thing coming to my mind is Chris McCandless, who went to Alaska to set free from the civilization and live on his own in the wild. He had many breakthrough thoughts written in his diary. The last entry he wrote while dying alone there, was: "Happiness only real when shared"
Man I swear that some people obess about a single person who is single that they believe that they should be with someone and the stress and meddling of such people will drain your spirit and create a chemical imbalance in your mind when being single, happy, joyous and free should always be looked upon and enjoyed as your own right, freewill and super power. I mean honestly who on earth said that being with someone is something everyone must do I'm order to be happy or it's a sad thing. Only those who are threatened by your own happiness to do as you please and stay single are the one who will make you miserable shake tgose people off and get those happy unapologetically single people who know what it's all about and then some.